Date: Sun, 10 Oct 2010 21:02:00 -0700 (PDT) From: Kelly Rowe Subject: Sleepless NIghts This is a story of fiction. Do not read if you're not of age. This is my first submission, and I'm not exactly a writer. I just thought I'd give it a try. So any feedback is welcomed (good or bad)! Sleepless Nights It's 2 a.m. and I'm lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. I can't shut off my brain; I keep thinking about you. --- I remember when I first saw you from afar. I couldn't stop staring, and I was hoping that I wasn't being too obvious. But I've never seen someone so cute in my life, it's like my eyes were locked. You were wearing a white v-neck, green shorts, vans, and black shades. Your hair was in a ponytail and you had your keys hanging on a lanyard around your neck. You were sitting with your friends on the opposite side of the street and it looked like you were having loads of fun. I was alone on the other side waiting for my friends to arrive. It was for "The Maine and Forever the Sickest Kids" concert, and we both came a few hours early because the line gets long if you go too late. I could hear your laugh from where I sat, and call me cheesy, but it was music to my ears. I couldn't help but smile every time I heard you laughing. There was something about you, and I couldn't put my finger on it. I've never been so intrigued by someone I've never even spoken to before. And all I could do was stare in awe at how cute you were. I was doing my best to be subtle about it, but once, you caught me staring and I quickly looked away. I was really embarrassed by our sudden eye contact; I think I blushed. But with my luck, you were probably straight. And even if you weren't, I don't know why you'd want anything to do with me anyways. I could've seriously slapped myself for staring at you so much. I didn't want to come off as a creep. But I think you caught on and realized I was staring. You seemed to be looking back at me now, but I was shy and I wasn't sure what to do, so I just stared at my feet. When I looked up, you and your friends were not so subtly looking my way. I was feeling really self-conscious and stupid for letting myself get out of hand like that. But I couldn't help the fact that you were so cute, so it wasn't my fault! -- I toss and turn, trying to get into a comfortable position, but nothing seems to work. -- I recall being nearly humiliated by all of this. So I put my headphones in and tried to block out the rest of the world. I rested my arms on my knees and my head on my arms so that I didn't have to look at anyone. I was beating myself up about staring too much at you when I heard some rustling noises beside me. I didn't look up but I could see two feet standing next to me. I don't know how much time passed but the feet didn't move, and soon enough, the person sat down next to me. They were so close, I could feel the heat radiating off their skin on to mine. I finally got the courage to look up. My eyes were still adjusting to the bright sunlight, but I could see that the person now sitting beside me was you. I could not believe that you were sitting next to me. All I could do was smile because I wasn't sure what to say. You smiled back at me and it melted my heart. Your smile was beautiful, to say the least. We didn't talk right away, but it wasn't awkward. I handed you one side of my earphones and we listened to music for a while. There was a comfortable silence in the air around us. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't know what to say. -- I settle down a little bit, and I try to stay still. But as still as I am, my mind keeps racing. -- "I like your taste in music" Those were the first words you said to me. I'm kind of an awkward girl, and it's hard for me to keep a conversation going with people that I've just met. But to my surprise, talking to you became kind of easy. I almost never openly talk to people I hardly know, but with you things were different. I felt comfortable with you. Things felt right when I was talking with you. Though, I still couldn't figure out why you came over in the first place. We talked for about an hour until you went back to where your friends were. I didn't want you to leave; I wanted to keep talking to you. But, you went back to your friends, and I was back to being alone again. So many things were going through my mind. Why did you come over to talk to me? I just couldn't believe it. My friends arrived shortly after this and I didn't see where you went. I was kind of sad because I didn't even get your number and you didn't have mines. The line was finally starting to move and we got in to the club. I pretty much gave up by then; I was just going to have to accept the idea that I won't ever see you again. The concert was starting and I was trying my best to have fun, but you kept crossing my mind. I couldn't help but think I blew it. Jumping up and down, covered in sweat, I was starting to really enjoy the concert. The closeness of the people around me, and the live music blasting gave me a sense of comfort. For the first time in a while, I really felt at ease. There is something about a concert that makes me forget reality, and I can enter my own world. -- It's 3 a.m. and I still can't fall asleep. -- "Growing Up" started playing; it's more of a slow song. I was so caught up in the moment and I felt someone wrap her arms around my waist from behind. I thought it was one of my friends, but when I looked, it was you. I was scared that my friends would see, but it felt so right, for you to be holding me like that. Your body fit perfectly against my back; I wanted this moment to last forever. We did stay like this for a while, and soon I didn't even care if my friends saw. You let go and I almost felt sadness when you did. But then you took hold of my hand and I never wanted to let go. You made that concert amazing. I've never felt so happy in my life. You told me to come with you. I said goodbye to my friends and took you by the hand. I could see some of them giving me "the eye" but I could've cared less at the moment. We walked to your car and you started driving. You didn't tell me where you were taking us; it was a surprise. It was amazing how I could trust a stranger that I had just met hours before, but somehow, with you, I could. -- I just want to feel the warmth of your body against mine. Maybe, then, I'll be able to sleep. -- With one hand on the steering wheel, and one hand on my lap, I remember thinking that I could do this forever. I placed my hand over yours and laced our fingers together. It was almost midnight and it was pitch black outside. The windows were down and I could hear the waves breaking on the shore; I could smell the salt lingering in the air. You pulled over and we got out of the car. We were barefoot and I could feel the sand in between my toes. It was kind of windy and you put your arms around me. I've never felt safer. I turned to face you and you kissed my forehead; I felt a wave go through my entire body. No one has ever made me feel this way before. We sat down on the sand and I leaned onto your shoulder. You had your arm around me, keeping me close to you. I wanted so badly to just kiss you but I've never kissed a girl before. I was nervous. You turned to look at me and you cupped my face with your hands. Our faces were inches away from each other; I leaned in, closed my eyes and felt the softness of your lips. We took it slow at first, just small kisses here and there. But I could tell you wanted more, and I did too. You gently pushed your tongue into my mouth and I met mines with yours. The kiss was so sensual and electrifying; I didn't know a kiss was capable of making me feel so alive. We kissed for what seemed like forever. We lay on the sand, listening to the ocean, looking up at the stars. We didn't talk, but there was no need to. I was falling for you hard. You took me back to your place and we took turns taking showers. I realized that you only had one bed, and I was more than happy to join you. We hopped into bed wearing just a big t-shirt and panties. Shy at first, we lay there a few inches apart. But then you pulled me to your side. Our legs were intertwined and I lay my head on your chest. I could hear the beating of your heart. You were playing with my hair when I started crying. "What's wrong baby?" "Nothing, I've just never felt this way before and I've never been so happy. You make me feel so real and alive." "I know what you mean, and I know we just met, but I feel like I've known you for years. I want to be with you, if you want to be with me." There was nothing in the world I wanted more than that, but I was afraid of what my friends would think. I hadn't come out to anyone yet, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to do that just now. I was never comfortable with my sexuality. I didn't want you to think that I was ashamed to be with you if we were to go out. But the thing was, I did want to be with you. I wanted that more than anything else. I wanted to be able to call you my girl. I wanted to be able to kiss you just because. I wanted to be able to wake up and see that you'd be right by my side. "I--I--I don't know. I mean, I like you but I don't know." What is my problem? Just say yes. Fuck what other people think. If my friends can't accept the fact that I'm with a girl, then they aren't really my friends. "What? What about all that's happened tonight? You can't deny what you feel. It's okay that I'm a girl too." "I don't think I can." I remember you untangled our legs and moved to the edge of the bed. "Oh. Okay." I was having a battle in my head. My heart was telling me one thing and my head, another. I could hear you crying and my heart broke. I couldn't take it anymore; I couldn't deny what felt right. I reached over and touched your shoulder. You brushed my hand away. I finally got you to turn around. I brushed the hair out of your face so you could look me in the eye. You were all teary eyed; I used my hands to gently wipe them away. "I do want to be with you. I've just never been with a girl before and even after everything tonight, I'm still scared. But being with you is real. I can be myself when I'm with you. And when I'm with you, nothing else matters." You smiled your cute little smile. "So that's a yes?" I smiled back and kissed you with everything that I had. "It wouldn't be a no in a million years babe." -- I hear the bedroom door open and I can see your shadow trying to find its way to the bed. You slip under the covers and pull me close to you. You kiss the back of my neck and I can feel the warmth of your breath. You wrap your arms around my waist and give me a little squeeze. I finally fall asleep in the safety of your arms.