Date: Thu, 08 May 2003 17:43:13 +0100 From: Jan Vincent Subject: Unexplainable longing (Part One) NOTES: 1) This story may not be reposted on any pay site without my consent. This story is to be enjoyed for free. 2) This is a more or less long short story. The build-up is slow but, I think, realistic. If you want a story with lots of mindless sex, I do not think this is a story for you. However, if you like some three-dimensional characters, who are far from sex maniacs, then read on. 3) Oh yes, and comments are welcome! Unexplainable longing By Jan Vincent, 2003 Comments are welcome! Jane Southerby was a popular, shy girl. Long fair hair covered her blue-eyed beautiful face. Her body was simultaneously supple and curvaceous, in spite of her slender frame and 5' 9" stature. Jane was a girl with a longing. She didn't know what she wanted from life. "Teenage angst" they'd call it, a label to describe the confusion many a teenager tripped over, a label she didn't think it was appropriate to describe what she felt. Basically, she was disgusted with her own suburban life. She wanted so much more from it, like falling in love with Mr. Right or be swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor. No men, boys, she knew fit into that mold. She would wonder if she were a lesbian. However, the little she knew about lesbians did not appeal to her. It was okay to be attracted to a female friend, but it was something totally different if one came out as a lesbian and took the flak for that momentous decision in a life of a gay teen in White America. Jane Southerby had a sister, one year her junior. Her name was Kate Southerby. They obviously shared the same surname, although Jane knew a pair of sisters who paraded different family names. When she inquired why it was so, one of the girls shrugged and said, "Just for the hell of it." The explaining was cut short with another shrug and an annoyed face of a post-punk, lip-pierced teenager. Jane and Kate were good friends and most of times were in each other's company. In spite of their closeness, Jane had never discussed her attraction to other females with Kate. Jane was afraid of what her sister would think of her. Kate was sometimes too judgmental. Kate was a very opinionated young woman, who, in her own words, "wouldn't take shit from anyone." One evening the Southerby sisters were watching TV together, a forgettable episode of "Friends". They were home alone, as their parents had deserted them temporarily for a fortnight vacation overseas. Mother and Father were a loving couple of parents, although the girls would think of them as control freaks now and then. Jane felt very relaxed, eating popcorn while her sister was nodding off. Kate was tired due to the exhausting week of soccer practice she had gone through all week. St. Patrick's soccer coach was a bully with the girls, but the parents did not mind it as long as the most successful soccer team in St. Patrick's history kept winning. "Why don't you go to bed?" Jane asked. "No." "Why not?" "Because," Kate replied, her eyes shut, her head nesting on Jane's shoulder. Such physical intimacy between the Southerby girls was natural and second nature to them. They were close enough to accept solace from each other's touch. They didn't shy away from a fleeting peck on the cheek or holding hands when they were by themselves. Suddenly, Kate's eyes fluttered open and stared at her sister's face. "What?" she asked. "What do you mean?" said Jane, puzzled. "Why did you sigh? Longing for someone? A boy I know?" Jane laughed, biting another piece of popcorn, which fell from her mouth and dropped on her cleavage. She gave a good-humored yelp and before she could take the popcorn from the nook between her breasts, Kate snatched it and gulped it with a mischievous look on her sleepy face. "Hey, that's private territory, a place no man has gone before." "Well," began Kate, her lips yielding to a smirk, "then this girl has been where no man has been before." "Yeah, yeah, yeah. It shows that you've got no manners, missy." "Okay," Kate sighed, pushing herself against her big sister, wrapping her arms around Jane's and resting her head on the older girl's shoulder. To change the subject, she pressed on. "Still, I get no answer from you. Why are you sighing?" "No reason. Just bored." "Get a boyfriend. You won't be bored." "So, according to Miss Kate Southerby, men are the answer to womenfolk's troubles?" "Not necessarily," Kate giggled, her head up again as she stared at her big sister. "But sometimes they do help one have some fun." "Well, apparently not with me." It was Kate's turn to display her confusion, her expressive gray-blue eyes becoming a tinge grayer, her pupils widening almost imperceptibly. Jane laughed, "It's not like I hate men. It's more like I love women. I mean... girls." "What are you trying to say?" Kate's head departed from her sister's shoulder once more. "That you're gay?" "Well, let's say that I prefer girls over men," Jane said, her eyes avoiding her younger sister's, "but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate Brad Pitt or other hunk like that." For a moment, heavy silence hung between the two girls. Eventually, Jane conjured enough courage to meet her little sister's eyes. "It's been hard," she said, unable to end the sentence. A slow flow of tears ran down her cheeks. Kate shushed her, her twiggy arms going around her big sister's waist, a comforting gesture stating her sister was not alone with her pain and doubts. They remained in that position for a long time. No words were exchanged, only the sounds of their breathing resonated feebly in the spacious den. Kate had turned the TV off with the remote before regaining her spot on her sister's shoulder. "So, have you ever been a with a girl?" The question came and Jane quaked as though her sister's curiosity was unexpected. "No, never found the right one." "You wish you had?" "What kind of question is that? Is the Pope Catholic?" "I mean, is there a particular girl you have the hots for?" "Well, if I have, I won't tell you. You may blurt it all out and I may get into real trouble. Thanks, but no thanks." No matter how much Kate begged and cajoled her, Jane did not reveal her love interest. To get rid of her little sister's nagging curiosity, she called it a day, returning to her room. After having stripped down to her panties, she slipped under the soft sheets of her bed. She enjoyed the feel of her naked body against the smoothness of silk, a luxury her parents hadn't denied her when she asked silk sheets for a birthday present. Jane Southerby tossed and turned in bed. She could feel her own restlessness, provoked by her sister's curiosity, She was out -- to her sister, no less. She could hardly remember the girls she had been infatuated with except for Samantha Neville. Sam was a lively tall redhead with a pretty freckled face and wide, fleshy lips. Sam was a looker, cheerleader material, if she ever wanted to be one. Oddly enough, her schoolmate didn't want to be part of the squad. She preferred to hang out with the "skater boys", wearing baggy pants and wristbands a la Avril Lavigne. Jane had also developed a little crush on the singer, pushing this feeling to the back of her mind every time she would hear nasty remarks about the Canadian teenaged star. Three days later, Jane was in the kitchen doing her homework on the kitchen table. It was a hot day, summer was closing in at a rapid rate. Her cotton T-shirt seemed too warm a garment to be used on such a sweltering day. If she were a boy she would have stripped to the waist, feeling the freedom of being a male, wearing shorts without a second thought. In spite of this reasoning, she liked to be who she was. She knew she was attractive enough to be asked out by boys and whistled approvingly when she passed by some idiotic construction workers. She loved her long hair, and her breasts were developing quite nicely for her age. After a while Jane could not stand it anymore. She removed her T-shirt, propping up the falling straps of her bra, and returned to her homework. Ten minutes later she heard someone walking on the lawn. Familiar footsteps preceded an usual greeting. Kate was home and she made sure her sister was aware of that. Jane sighed and kept scribbling away in her notebook. "Is that hot?" Kate asked, eying her sister with amusement. "Yeah," Jane replied with a neutral tone. She kept writing as if she were by herself in the kitchen. "What are you doing? Homework?" "No, I'm just having lots of fun!" This time Jane looked up and stared at Kate, who was staring back at her with her standard taunting smile, something Jane found utterly irritating when they were younger. "Guess who asked about you today?" Jane blinked her eyes as though she hadn't understood the question. But she had. Jane just didn't know what to expect from her little sister, now that Kate knew her big sister might be partial to some female loving. "Don't wanna guess?" "Who?" Jane asked, meeting her sister halfway. "Sam Neville." Despite herself Jane felt the heat on her cheeks. She had tried to prevent her feelings from showing but had failed miserably. "Bingo!" Kate cried out. "I knew it. I knew it!" "No, you don't know anything!" Jane shot back, storming out of the kitchen with a quick, nimble bound. Jane was chased after by her sister up the stairs and into her room. "Janey, come on! It's no big deal. I was just teasing." "Yeah, right." Jane let herself fall on her bed. Her long pale blond tresses sliding down her face and shoulders. She blew her hair away, but the light long strands kept her face half hidden. "I was," Kate stated. "I swear." "You just know how to make me mad." Jane shook her head, removing the last locks of hair away from her eyes. "Why are you always like that, when you know how much I hate it?" "Because you're so predictable. You're so... fucking predictable." Jane stared at her sister, and her angry expression gave way to contained amusement. She chuckled. "See? I knew you would laugh in the end. I know you." Jane sighed, sitting on her bed. "Yeah, you know me. And I must add, lucky me." A few weeks later, Jane Southerby sat next to her best friend in St. Patrick's South cafeteria. Her best friend was Nicky Beagle, a young man who was supposed to be her boyfriend but never had reached that status in her mind. They had kissed a long time ago, but all that was past now. Jane's eyes meandered the room until they fell on Sam Neville, the redhead she'd supposedly fallen in love with. "Where are you looking at?" Nicky asked. "Nowhere," she said with some disguised alarm. 'Shit,' she thought, 'I'm dead meat if he can read my mind.' On the other hand, she imagined to be one of the guys, so that she could make lustful comments on how hot Sam Neville was without being considered "weird". Because she was a female, she had to be content with watching and keeping her mouth shut. Suddenly a familiar voice said, "Hi, Janey." Jane turned around and saw her sister Kate. "What are you doing here?" "Hey, this is my school too, remember?" "Yeah, I do. But you never come to this cafeteria. You always go to North." "Yeah, you're right about that. I wanted to see you, though. Can I join you?" "Oh, please do," said Nicky immediately. Jane looked at him, finding his eagerness at the same time annoying and comical. She could see Nicky found her sister very attractive. After all she was his best friend, and she knew to discern desire in those brown eyes if there was some to be found. Jane had seen it before, when they were supposed to be more than friends. She realized how weird it was that her best friend and her little sister had never seen each other before. She realized she'd been living two parallel lives, two worlds that had never crossed each other before. "Have you seen who's there?" Kate whispered into her sister's ear. Jane moved away from her sister and shot a menacing look at her, making sure Kate understood that subject was not to be discussed in front of "strangers". Nicky was not a stranger, though, she realized. Still, her anger and fear did not subside with that thought. "So, why do you want to see me? Can't that wait till we get home?" "No," Kate said, shaking her head, some loose blond locks bobbing up and down near her rosy cheek. "I need to know your answer right away." "What about?" "Martha Thompson and Ricky Rick are going to throw a party at Martha's place. There's going to be free beer and one big chocolate cake made by Katrina. Wanna come?" And as if Kate was hinting at something, she pulled her brows up twice, then she bulged out her eyes for a split second. She broke into a grin. "Lots of people will be there. Lots of _interesting_ people will be there. Including..." "Yeah, I get it," Jane cut in, displeased. "So, wanna come? I need to tell Martha if you're coming too." "I don't think so." "Oh, come on. It will be fun." "We'll see." "Then that's a yes. Okay, I gotta go. I am already a little late. See ya." Jane breathed out loudly once her sister was gone, noticing Nicky's eyes were surely following Kate's ass as she walked away. She turned to confirm her suspicion, and what she saw surprised her. Kate rarely used skirts, but today she was wearing a short one that revealed a pair of shapely long legs and covered an appealing behind. Kate was developing at a fast pace, Jane realized, closing her mouth and swallowing. Her sister was turning into a very sexy girl. Regardless of what she felt earlier, Jane concurred and went along with Kate to Martha's and Ricky Rick's party. Martha's house was a white colonial mansion surrounded by a superbly kept manicured garden. Beer and half drunk people already abounded. She had a sudden wish to make a half turn and disappear, but her sister's hand gripped her forearm, urging her to tag along. Jane sighed and let herself go, plotting an early escape as soon as she could pull it off without being noticed. And as expected, Sam Neville was there with her skater boy in tow. Sam had dyed her hair dark blonde to mimic her heroine of the moment. She wore dark eyeliner too. 'Damn,' Jane thought for a moment. 'She's trying too hard, when she didn't have to.' That seemingly lack of character by the girl she secretly worshipped was disappointing. On the other hand, they were just teenagers, right? Still, trying to find their way home... if there was one. "Wow, you look amazing tonight." Jane turned to see Nicky Beagle beside her. "Nicky, don't say that. We're just friends, remember?" "Yes, but friends can compliment their friends, can't they?" "Yeah, but you have that look on your face," she said drunkenly, even though she had just gulped half a bottle of beer. "I know you." "And I know you," he replied, following her with another sip of beer. They paused their conversation for a moment, observing the interactions made by the other kids in that very large improvised dance floor. Joe Landry was the DJ for the evening, and another tall geeky guy she had never seen before was hanging around him as if he wanted to pick up the necessary skills for a similar future job. "Have you seen Sam tonight?" Jane observed Nicky for a moment before answering. She questioned his motives, trying to perceive whether he knew more than he let on. "Yeah. What about her?" "She's trying to look like Avril Lavigne, that faker." "Who are you calling a faker? Avril or Sam?" "Both." "I thought all boys were in love with her." "Who? Avril or Sam?" "Does it matter?" she said, doing her best not to laugh. "No, not really," he said, laughing more quietly than in other occasions he had done when she cracked a joke around him. "Well, I am not one of them, if you ask me. I love somebody else, and you know that." Yes, she knew who he still loved. They were friends but, somehow, he still had hopes that one day she would reconsider her decision. She tried so many times to discourage him, but he kept hanging around her. Sometimes it felt right to be loved like that, to have someone who really cared just a few inches away. Other times it didn't feel that good. She thought she was using him, calling their relationship friendship when it wasn't. Later in the evening, Nicky asked her for a slow dance. She accepted his invitation and followed him to the middle of the floor, where other couples danced and spoke softly into each other's ears. Stealthily, her eyes would wander to Sam Neville. Sam and her boyfriend were caught up in a passionate session of necking and kissing. His big hands fondled her breasts over her loose black T-shirt that read 'Good girls go to heaven, Bad girls go everywhere.' It was difficult to see what was really happening as they were in a dark corner of the room. Only when the strobe light was on was she able to fathom if the kissing had evolved to heavy petting. She felt a tinge of jealousy. Her body betrayed her, though; the excitement of being a voyeur had left its humid imprint in her panties. Nicky walked the Southerby sisters home, as he used to after a party. Len Morocco, Kate's beau wasn't in town. He had joined the U.S. Marines and was in a boot camp down in San Diego. Jane could see her sister was more drunk than tipsy, which worried her, definitely. She looked around, but the street was empty. There were no cops around. The idea of going to jail for having ingested some beer didn't look so ridiculous at that moment. When they arrived at the girls' place, Jane thanked Nicky by kissing him on the cheek. "Many thanks, Nicky," added Kate, sliding her slender arms around his neck, planting a single kiss on his lips. "You were a gentleman." "Come on, Kate," Jane protested, dragging her sister away from Nicky. "You're drunk. Let's go inside." "Bye, Nick." "Bye, Kate," he said, with a wide grin on his face. The following morning Jane jumped awake in her bed. For a moment she didn't know where she was. Confused thoughts leaped like crazy, evasive rabbits in her mind. When she tried to catch one and understand its meaning it disappeared in one hole and appeared in another further away. She heard someone knock on the door, probably the reason why she had awaken. "Come on in." "Hi, Janey," greeted a yawning Kate. "Sleep well?" "More or less." Kate threw herself onto her sister's bed, still yawning. Her slumberous eyes were shut a for a while until she gave another long yawn, stretching out her ribcage, arms and legs. Involuntarily Jane's eyes drifted to her sister's breasts covered by a wide cotton T-shirt. A couple of years ago they were tiny buds, but now they were two inviting curvaceous protrusions. And her long, slender legs... Jane didn't understand how she could have overlooked her sister's blossoming into a very attractive girl. "Like what you see?" "What?" Jane asked, the alarm bell ringing like crazy in her mind. "I know you were checking me out." "Yes, so what? I just noticed how..." "How nice my body is." "Kate, that's a sick joke, even for you." Jane jumped off her bed. Before she could leave the room, Kate called her name. She turned to see her sister beckoning her to close the door and return to bed. For a while she wavered between leaving or remaining in her room and face the consequences of her decision. She would regret it, she was sure of it, Jane thought before she swung the door shut and walked slowly toward her bed. Kate kept calling her with her indicator, as if they were a couple of lovers with unfinished matters to be discussed in the sack. To her bewilderment, Jane realized she was getting excited with the possibility of making love to her sister. But her sister was not a lesbian. She had to be misreading the signs, seeing things that weren't there. "I don't mind," Kate said, tapping on the bed, inviting her older sister to sit next to her. "I really don't. I find it funny even." "What do you find funny?" Jane asked tentatively, sitting on her bed, her nails scratching her thighs. Kate didn't speak, twitching her nose and simpering at her big sister. "I was just... looking, because Nicky has the hots for you and you're teasing him with your short skirts, something you wouldn't be caught dead wearing a couple of years ago." "Hmm," Kate said, her smirk widening into a grin. "You're jealous." "No, I'm not." "Yes, you are. But I am not interested in Nicky. He's okay, but he's not my type." "And Len is." "Oh, definitely. And he's a good fuck too." "Kate!" Jane protested. She had never heard her sister talk like that. "Oh, come on, Janey. You didn't think I was going to be a virgin all my life, or did you?" "No," said Jane, shaking her head. "You sound like..." "An adult? Well, Sis, I have grown up. Time doesn't stay still, you know. And you should definitely fuck Sam Neville. She's really asking for it. Did you see Sam and her boyfriend last night? They were all over each other. But I heard they haven't gone all the way, yet. I think she's saving herself for Ms. Right." "Kate, you're really don't know when to stop." Having said that, Jane got up and left the room and her infuriating, pain-in-the-ass sister. "Where's your sister?" Cathy Southerby asked her eldest daughter from the open bedroom door. "Don't know," Jane replied curtly, hammering away on her computer's keyboard. Her stare remained glued on the screen, ignoring her waiting mother. "You don't know where she is?" Jane's mother insisted. "Mom, no, I don't. I'm not her guardian angel." "All right, Jane. No need to be rude." Soon as her mother left the door, Jane reached for the door with a leap and swung it shut. She hurried back to her computer, so that she wouldn't miss a thing the girls were saying in the chat room. She had met a couple of bi-curious girls on the net and she was glad she could talk about her feelings without holding any feeling back. One of them had even given her phone number, so that they could talk more freely. Her handle was HottieThing18. She was 18 and lived in Indiana, or so she said. Later that evening her parents were mad at Kate. She had come home at 8 PM and hadn't called to warn them about her delay. Jane could hear the screaming between her mother and her sister, then swift footsteps on the stairs and in the room hall of their house. She heard Kate cussing all the way up into her own room. Jane was still mad at Kate. Still, she closed the book she was reading and wheeled unhurriedly to her sister's room. Her curiosity about the cause of that ruckus was greater than her misgivings about patching it up with her sister. "Hi." Kate looked at her sister as she removed the black elastic from her glossy long blond hair, letting it fall behind her shoulders. "Hi," she replied, sliding the elastic around the wrist of her left hand. "So, what's up?" "Mom... just being a nag. But what else is new?" "I think she was right. You should've called." "Come on, she's just a control freak. I'm 16, almost 17. I can take care of myself, thank you very much." "They were worried about you." "Oh, that's all I needed. To be lectured by you too." "I'm not lecturing you, but if you think it I'm out of here." Before Jane was able to make true her statement, she heard, "Wait." She turned to see a little sister with sad blue eyes. "Is something the matter?" "I just had a nasty fight with Len. He's not gonna come back to L.A. for the summer. He said I should go to San Diego and meet his marine buddies." "San Diego is not that far," Jane offered. "Yeah, but Mother would fret like hell if I did that. She'd immediately think the worst, that I could end up raped and ditched in a dumpster." "Most likely," said Jane, a smile creeping into her lips. "What? That I would get raped?" "No." Jane shook her head, her smile a grin now. "That Mother would fret." Summer came and Jane and Kate were stuck with each other. Jane still didn't have a girlfriend. Sam Neville was a vague memory now. Only Avril Lavigne would still stir up some emotion within her disappointment, but all in all that was fading as well. She could feel her sister was somewhat dissatisfied with her own life, too. Kate had decided not to go to San Diego and meet her boyfriend and his fellow marines-to-be. Instead, she stayed at home, lying on the poolside patio, reading magazines and paperback novels while the sunrays darted onto her tan skin. In the evening Kate would usually go out with her customary girl friend gang and would return a little too late and too drunk to go unnoticed by her older sister. Jane began to worry about her kid sister's behavior, not so much because their parents could catch her one of these days and have her grounded as because Kate was becoming a trifle self-destructive. Jane even wondered if Kate had started doing drugs, like ecstasy or cocaine. On a beautiful Sunday morning, instead of enjoying the cloudless blue sky outside, Jane was in her room, staring at her computer screen and chatting away with her best cyberfriend, HottieThing18. Jane jumped on her chair as the door suddenly came open and her sister Kate breezed in uninvited. "Morning, Sis." "Hey, don't you knock anymore?" Jane roared. "Oh, sorry. Forgot all about that. It's just because is such a beautiful day and I thought... Hey, what are you doing? Chatting? So soon?" "Yes, but--" "HottieThing18 and CrazyBlonde17. Is that you?" "Get the fuck out of my room, Kate!" "HottieThing18 and CrazyBlonde17, that sounds so awfully sweet and romantic." "Get out!" Jane shouted again, pointing the door, unable to restrain her embarrassed anger, the heat filling her cheeks with a mighty, undeniable reddishness. "Okay," said Kate, giggling. "I am so out of here. And send my regards to HottieThing18, 'kay?" 'Fuck you,' Jane thought while she banged the door shut, more angry at herself than at her sister. She returned to the computer, but her sister's giggling and joking left a sour taste in her mouth. Her will to go on chatting had evaporated. She typed an excuse to her cyberfriend and logged out. At a slow pace she went down the stairs and found no-one on the first floor of the house. She looked out the backyard door and saw that her sister was having a phone conversation with someone. She waited for a while by the stairs, then decided she was going to have a serious tāte-Ö-tāte with her little sister. Soon as Kate saw her older sister, her smile widened, her blue-gray eyes became sharper and shinier. Her sister lived to make her live a living hell, Jane thought, still waiting for her sister to end the phone conversation that revolved around going to yet another party. At long last, Kate clicked off her cellular phone. "No more chatting with HottieThing18?" she teased, sitting on her favorite lawn chair by the poolside. Jane sighed and gave up on having a conversation with Kate. Her sister was still in a hopeless mood, and a fight would be inevitable if she didn't let go. She was too emotionally exhausted to be dragged into it. She just let herself plump down on a chair next to her sister's and shut her eyes, allowing the sun to caress her face with the warmth of a bright early morning in Southern California. "What do you chat about?" For a moment Jane didn't react. Her sister's voice seemed serious now, as though she was genuinely curious. Jane opened her eyes and faced Kate. "What do you want to know?" "The dirty details, of course. Do you talk about sex? Sex with girls?" "Why do you assume HottieThing18 is a girl?" "Because I know you, remember?" Kate answered with a wink. "Yeah, she's a girl," Jane said after a moment of respite. "She called once and I called her back. She seems a nice girl." "Why don't you ask her out? I mean, invite her to come over." "She lives in another state, Kate. It's not that easy." "One more reason for her to come over. C'mon, be brave." "Yeah, that's easy to say. You're not the lesbian of the family." "Well, sometimes I wonder." Jane made a double take. "What?" she asked, catching her breath. Kate lowered her eyes for a moment, then stared at her sister. She twitched her mouth as if in doubt and said, "Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't appreciate... to make love with another girl. Seems kinda... nice." "Since when you think that way?" Jane asked with skeptic outrage in her voice. "Well, since always. You just never asked me. You always assumed that I was 100% straight." Jane's breathing became heavier. The shock of that revelation made her shiver from head to toe. She inhaled deeply to calm herself down. "And do you have a particular girl in mind?" "Yes." Kate's answer was short and decisive. "Who? Do I know her?" "Hmm, I guess. Quite well, I think." "And you're not going to tell me who she is?" Kate smiled and for a short while evaded her older sister's eyes. Her blue-eyed stare landed on her sister's inquiring face once again. "Isn't that obvious? " "What? What's obvious?" "Well, sometimes, I swear to you... You can be so fucking blind." "What?" said Jane, blinking her eyes, intrigued with her sister's doubts. She could not understand what was so obvious. There was a long pause between them. Kate looked away, turning to the undulating reflexes coming from the pool, as though she was crushing her last doubts before she was able to utter the girl's name out loud. "Jane." Kate looked at her sister intently. "It's you. It's always been you." Jane's jaw dropped. She became numb, stupefied. "Kate, that's really a sick joke." "I'm not joking." Jane remained incredulous. She just could not believe her sister was serious enough, that her words meant something. She had been burned by her sick jokes one too many times. "I don't believe you. That's sick, Kate. That's really disgusting." And with that she left the backyard and ran down the street as if dark angels flew after her to bring her to her doom. She stopped at an empty crossing, catching her breath, her heart pounding so hard she was afraid she was going to have a heart attack. She kept on walking, more slowly this time, regaining her breath. She cursed once and then twice, still refusing to accept that her sister could have been sincere. "No, that's not possible. It can't be. It just can't be." A week went by of mutual awkwardness. Their mother began to notice something was wrong between her two daughters. "What's the matter with you two? Aren't you speaking again?" Cathy Southerby waited for an answer. However, instead of one daughter accusing the other of something, she met with a thick wall of silence. That was entirely unusual. "Jane? Kate? Don't I deserve a reply?" "Mom," Jane finally said. "We're just tired, that's all." "Yeah, we're tired," confirmed Kate, staring at her older sister with a hint of irony in her eyes. "Mom, don't worry about us, because we're just tired." Kate took her breakfast dishes and put them away in the dishwasher and left the kitchen without another word, leaving any further explaining to her older sister. "Jane? Did you two have a fight?" "Yes, Mom, but... please don't fret. We'll be okay, sooner or later. You know how we are with each other." "Yes, like an old married couple," her mother said, with a weary expression. "Always fighting, always the best of friends. If you two weren't my daughters I'd say you hated each other's guts." "I don't hate her, Mom." Cathy Southerby took her daughter's hand in her two own hands and said, "I know, baby. I know." This time there was no denial. The very idea of making love with Kate was turning Jane on, exciting her senses, making her juices run. Kate was a beautiful girl, she had to admit. And more than that, she didn't hide her body curves behind baggy clothing anymore. She seemed to relish she was a girl, now that her tomboy years were gone. Her long legs were shown off by skimpy skirts and her cleavage was no longer a pitiful thing to be seen. Her breasts were ripe for the taking, round and with a couple of taut nipples to match. She tried to fight off this lust for her kid sister but was unable to. Her dreams were now populated with hot steamy sex scenes with Kate. Her sister kissed her and unbridled passion followed. One night she woke up and realized she was alone in her bed. The room was dark and no one was on the other side of the bed staring at her with a lustful, mischievous grin. On the following day, Jane could not take it any longer. She was going to swallow her pride and propose a peace treaty. She knocked at her sister's door and waited. "Who is it?" she heard her sister ask from the other side of the closed door. "Me." There was a period of time when she did not hear a sound from Kate's room. She was about to leave, when Kate appeared at the door of her room wearing her pinkish silk robe. "Yes?" "Let's talk." "Okay." Kate opened the door wide, letting her sister in. "Let's." Kate grabbed the towel that was on the cover of her bed and weaved it around her wet hair. "But before you start I want to make something really clear. Although I can feel, _felt_ attracted to you, that doesn't mean I want to have sex with you. Get it?" "Yes, I get it." "So, you still think I'm putting you on?" "No," said Jane, shaking her head. "And what are we going to do about it?" "What do you mean?" "Are we friends?" "Definitely." "Good." Kate sent her sister a satisfied smile. "Very good." From that moment on, the old familiarity between the Southerby girls made a comeback. Jane's spirit was uplifted by the implied peace treaty signed with words and looks of mutual understanding, but simultaneously it experienced some hard-to-define disenchantment, an unexplainable longing for something wonderful, something extraordinary, something that would lift it above the clouds until it reached the sun and burned like a blinded moth near a flame. Days went by uneventful, except for the calls Kate was getting from Nicky. A diffuse eruption of jealousy went on and off every time Jane witnessed their easy exchange of words as if her younger sister and Nicky were long-time best friends. 'Damn that boy,' she thought. 'Damn that boy for letting Kate jerk him around.' But then, she realized, hadn't she done the same to him? Jane decided she hadn't, shaking her head as if she was talking to someone, although she was walking down the street by herself. The words of her biology teacher materialized in Jane's mind. We all had selfish genes that want to survive as much as any living person, and the way they survive is by ensuring they are in the best combination of genes possible. And how nature detects a good combination of genes? Symmetry. Beautiful people are symmetric, and lack of it is a sure signal of disease or a bad combination of genes. Your own genes told you to avoid those people, and only mate with another good combination of genes, making sure your (selfish) genes would survive you within the genetic makeup of your children. Jane was skeptic about this theory. It reduced the human being to just a simple sum of genes, when things were far more complicated than that. This theory did not take into account her feelings for people who happened to be girls like herself. This theory didn't take into account what she felt about her sister and Nicky. This theory didn't take into account anything she found important. Still, her teacher's words came back to haunt her daydreams, as though they contained the key to all her problems. When Jane arrived home she found Kate in the pool. Nicky and another young man she had never seen sat at the edge of the pool, their feet dabbing in the water as they watched her sister swim like the mermaid she was. The crew-cut stranger wore dark green shorts, his brawny biceps and chest were in the buff, displaying a healthy muscle tone. "Hi, Jane," her sister greeted and waved as she walked toward them. "Hi, all," she replied. "So, is my sister putting up a good show?" "Oh, yes," said Nicky, "she's quite a swimmer." "Yes, she is," Jane confirmed with a nod. And before she could lay her eyes on the stranger for a closer inspection, she heard Kate say that Mr. Universe was actually Len Morocco. "Nice to meet you," Jane said, shaking his strong manly hand. "I've heard a lot about you." "Only good things, I hope," he said with a white-teethed grin. Charming, Jane thought approvingly. In spite of this, she decided for sarcasm. "I thought you were in San Diego under the boots of your drill sergeant." His grin became conspicuous once more. "Yes, I was. But now I'm done with it. I am a Marine now. It was a shame Kate couldn't be there during my graduation week." "I'm sure she had reasons for it." "I'm sure," he said with a self-assured nod. "And you boys have talked about boot camp all day, am I right?" "Yes," said Nicky. "Len was just explaining how I could join." "Join the marines?" Jane was incredulous. "You can't be serious." "Why?" Nicky seemed hurt. "You think I don't have what it takes to be a marine?" "No, it just never occurred to me," she said in a hurry, trying to mend her faux-pas. She excused herself and left the poolside patio and rushed in the kitchen and up the stairs. In her room she fretted whether she should return to the backyard and see her sister flaunting her wet body, while the boys watched her every step, listened to every word she might say. When Jane looked out the window to see if that was the case, she felt a presence behind her. Before she was able to turn and see her sister wrapped in her pool towel, she heard, "What are you doing here all alone? Don't you wanna come down and join us in the pool?" "What for? You're quite busy." "Oh, Janey. You're not jealous again, are you?" "Maybe I am." "Why?" "Your boyfriend came back. And Nicky..." "What about him?" "He's really in love with you." "So? He knows I have a boyfriend, who would beat the crap out of him in a blink of an eye if he tried anything. Boys know this instinctively." "So, you still on?" "What? Len and I? Why?" "No reason." "Janey, I know you. Why do you ask? Are you interested in him?" "Not really. He's okay but he's not my type." The girls looked at each other, then laughed together. "That's why I love you, Sis," said Kate, embracing her and kissing her on the cheek. "Come on, just get changed and join us, okay?" When Kate left her room Jane trembled as if from cold. In fact, she was nervous, a chill had just sped down her spine. When her sister engulfed her in her arms she felt the sweet warmth of her sun-kissed body, her breasts against her chest, the scent of her wet hair and naked skin. There was no denying now. She was hopelessly in love with Kate and she didn't know what to do about it. Eventually Jane dressed her bikini and went downstairs with her pool towel. She forced herself to forget about her self-confession, her self-avowal of love and lust. In the end, she laughed and got comforted by the boys' staring. Her fears were unfounded, her body was able to catch the boys' attention. Her self-confidence returned, eating away the rests of shyness that doggedly haunted her still. In the evening when the boys were gone and her parents were back from their respective jobs, Jane gave a sigh of relief. Kate was hers for another half a day. "It's nice to see you're getting along," their father commented, sending a meaningful look to his wife. "Your mother was quite worried with you not long ago." "Yeah, Mom frets about everything and anything," said Kate, laughing, taking another bite off her apple. "She should know we're not tired anymore. That's why we get along now. Right, Sis?" Jane saw the brazen wink of her sister. She nodded and smiled, going along with Kate's teasing. "Well, I'm gonna take a shower and change," she announced. "Great idea," Kate replied. "I'm going with you." "Okay," replied Jane neutrally, in spite of the shock that ripped through her body. With her pulse revving up, she tore up the stairs with Kate close on her tail. As they reached the door of the bathroom, Jane said, "I'm going first." "We're going together, silly." Kate pushed her sister in and shut the door behind them. "Together?" Jane said, almost in panic. "Jane," said Kate, getting near her older sister. "You're acting as if this is the first time we take a shower together." And without delay, she untied the towel wrapping her hips and legs and let it fall on the tiled floor, revealing the exquisite body of a blue-eyed blonde covered by a cool red-rimmed black bikini. "What?" Jane snapped out of her trance, noticing her sister's stare and the shadow of a smirk sketched on her lips. "What?" she asked in return, protecting herself from whatever her sister might have seen. "You were checking me out, again," Kate stated. "No, I wasn't." "Yes, you were. But I've already told you, I'm okay with that." "This collective shower was your idea," Jane accused, still unsure of herself and the awkwardness of it all. "I know that," Kate replied in a conciliatory tone. "I know what I'm doing." "Do you?" Jane asked, surprised. "Yes," Kate said, pulling a twisted smile. "I knew you wanted this when you went jealous on me a little while ago." She approached her big sister and slid her arms around her naked waist. "I thought you were jealous of Nicky, then of my boyfriend... Then it hit me, you were jealous of _me_. I had proof of it when I kissed you. You were like... in love." "Kate," Jane protested weakly, her body melting as Kate's face came near hers. "Kate, this is crazy." "Yes, but aren't you CrazyBlonde18?" "No, 17." Kate laughed. "Oh yes, CrazyBlonde17. How could I forget?" She pulled her sister even closer and kissed her, first tentatively, then more decisively. Jane's head swam as her kid sister's tongue invaded her mouth and sucked it dry. "Kate," she moaned. "Kate, are you sure about this?" "Hell, yeah," Kate replied, giving her sister another soul kiss. "Don't fret. You're not Mom." Jane would have fallen backward if Kate hadn't held her up. Her legs became rubber, her breathing ragged, almost painful. She felt her sister's hands pressing against her sides, then moving up her back, fumbling for the top's snap. With ease she unhooked it, making her breasts available to her frantic hands, while her wild tongue rummaged her mouth for hers. Jane moaned again. "Kate, let's go to the shower or Mother may..." "Fret?" Kate said with an impish expression on her flushed face. "Yes," Jane replied in a whisper. "Okay. Let's." Kate slid off the two pieces of her bikini and turned the shower faucet on. Jane followed her, releasing a yelp of contentment. "Lose this," Kate said, pulling down her sister's bikini bottom. "You won't need this in here. It's only us girls." "Whatever you say, missy." Jane laughed, her hands and arms crazy with lust, lust for her kid sister. She could not hold back anymore. She gave Kate a powerful kiss, her hands pinching her nipples. Kate smiled a wild smile, surprised by her big sister's sudden initiative. "Oh, that felt nice. Do it again, Jane." And she did. Her hands glided down her sister's wet body, caressed by the falling drops of water. Her hand slipping in her sister's sex, feeling the wet folds inside, engorged by desire. "Oh, fuck," Kate cried into her big sister's ear. "Jane. Please, don't stop." Her hips pushed forward, impaling her cunt into Jane's fingers. "Make me come," Kate begged. "Jane, make me come." "Yes, baby." Jane's fingers frigged the younger girl with urgency. "Oh, Jane, that's it." Kate's hands played with Jane's nipples, hard with desire, blinding crazy desire for her. "Bang me against the wall. Come on, honey. Do it for me." Jane thrust her sister against the tiles of the wall, licking her nipples, her tongue drawing slow curves around her Kate's belly. Slowly, her tongue approached Kate's thighs, making her wait and desire for a tongue flick uncovering a hot, pulsating nub between two pairs of wet lips. Kate trembled, seemingly crazy with lust. "Janey, you're such a tease. Come on up and fuck me with your fingers." Jane obliged, her fingers like pistons coming in and out, maintaining an urgent rhythm. Kate remained very quiet when she came, catching her breath. Limp and weak she embraced her sister, kissing her neck, and repeating incessantly, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." Jane smiled. "Did you like it?" "Fuck, yes. It was amazing. But don't move your hand. Just keep it inside for a while, please." "Okay," Jane said, grinning. "Whatever you say." Jane and Kate kissed again for long minutes without stopping until they heard their mother knock on the bathroom door, announcing the dinner was ready. Reluctantly the girls removed their hands from each other and hurried up with their shower. Confused thoughts ran in Jane's head. It was a mix of fear and exhilaration she had never experienced due to its intoxicating intensity. 'Is this how it feels when you're in love?' she asked herself. 'Was Kate it?' She didn't know. All she knew was that unexplainable longing was there to haunt her still. Someday she would found out why. End of Part One (Want more? Make sure you let me know. Thanks.) -jan