Date: Tue, 27 Nov 2007 20:30:58 -0800 (PST) From: AMANDA PLOGGER Subject: upside-umop-insideout-10 Okay This story contains sexual acts between two females if this offends you then don't read it. If you are not 18 or whatever the age maybe where your from, don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between two ladies, go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not real. Any similarities are just that. I still have many, many chapters to go. Let me know what you think so far. Good or bad. Thank you so much to everyone who has written me giving me much needed encouragement to keep writing. I have made many friends and hope to find even more. It is amazing who you meet on here. *smiles* I love to write so check back in soon and you are sure to find more. As always, enjoy. Amanda upside_umop_insideout Part 10 Healing She knew that both Alexis and she had a lot of healing to do before either of them would be doing anything else. Emily joined her haggard looking sister and brother-in-law down stairs after stripping Alexis of her clothes, which where quite wet with tears. She couldn't believe that many tears came from one person. Of course that one person was holding so much in. How did Emily not see it? How could she love someone so much and never see how much she was hurting? Emily kicked herself for the hundredth time that night. "Sit please." Sarah said as Emily came into view. She knew that this had been a hard night on them all. "There are some things you need to know. You came in on the tail end of our conversation." Emily sat and listened to all Alexis had told them she was stunned. She knew that Alexis had told her that it was because of her that she acted like she did, but she never could have fathomed the depths of it. Emily felt so tired. Even after the refreshing nap that she had it was just too much. Her heart swelled with love for Alexis. She knew with all her heart what that woman meant to her. "All this could have been avoided. All of it." Emily said shaking her head. "How?" Collin asked sitting forward, his elbows on his knees. He looked at his sister-in-law intently. She looked over at him. She was so happy to have him as a brother-in-law. He had always treated her with such love and compassion. She thought of him as if he was a brother by blood, not just one brought to her by marriage. "Emily how could any of this been avoided?" He asked when she didn't answer, holding her gaze. "I've known I was in love with her from the moment she said hello to me." Emily said without thinking. Her breath caught in her throat. She knew that she had been in love with Alexis for a while before that first day tougher.... But had it really been that long? She had never thought about it; never saw it that way before. "This is a new realization?" Sarah asked seeing the confused, pained look on her sister's face. Emily nodded feebly, lost in her own thoughts. She was looking at Collin still, but no longer seeing him. She was remembering the first day she ever laid eyes on Alexis Frost. "Tell us what you're thinking about." Sarah's voice said, drifting over her thoughts. Emily began to talk. She just let go and talked as she drifted off to that day a year and a half before. There Emily was, sitting in her very first class, her very first day of college. Totally nervous. It had been years since she had graduated high school. She had been sixteen when she did. Now, almost six years later, married, with two kids at home, here she was sitting in a lecture hall waiting to start anew. She fidgeted. It looked like there were a few people who knew each other, and they sat around socializing. Some were older, some younger, a few her age. It was good to see the variety. Emily was still a bit shy and was pretending to straighten her papers, get things in order for class. Out of the corner of her eye, in walked this beautiful woman who would change Emily's life. Long brown hair thrown into a messy bun, strikingly beautiful brown eyes that searched the room, looking for someone. Emily couldn't help but stare. She was breath taking but in a subtle way. The girls eyes landed on her and smiled, like Emily was the one she had been looking for the whole time, and Emily felt herself smile back. She felt her cheeks flush at the knowledge she had been caught staring. She hadn't felt like this since high school either. She had buried these feelings, or so she thought. But Emily couldn't deny the longing she felt as she watched this woman, who was watching her back. "Hey is this seat taken?" Alexis asked, always the bold one, going after what she wanted. And from the look in this woman's eyes, she knew exactly what she wanted. Emily's voice stuck in her throat as she looked around the room. There were plenty of other seats open. Why had this girl chose the one right next to her? "Yeah, sure." Emily wanted to hit her self, stuttering over her words she tried to think. "I mean, no it's not. Have a seat." Emily almost melted in her seat when she saw that smile. "Thanks. I'm Alexis, or Lexie, whatever." Alexis stuck out her hard. Emily was amazed at how soft it felt and even more amazed in how bad she didn't want to let it go. "I mean, I knew that I was attracted to her that first day. It brought up a lot of questions that I thought that I had got past when I got married and had Brant and Piper. Just looking at her though brought them all back, front and center." Emily sighed looking over at her sister. "We sat up all those nights, talking about boys and laughing. How come I never knew that you had questions like that?" Sarah asked her. "I mean, hell, our little brother sat up talking about boys with us. He was gay. He is gay. Whatever. You knew he was before any one else did. Why didn't you say something? Ever?" Emily shook her head. "I don't know. I don't For some reason I guess... I guess I thought that it was different for him. I don't know why. Don't look at me like that." Emily giggled a little at the look her sister was giving her. "I know, I know. It doesn't make any sense. But I remembered all we'd been taught in church all our lives and how everyone acted when Bobby came out. He was what twelve." "He was eight." Sarah said with a laugh. "He was eight?!?" Collin asked. "I guess I never knew that. I mean I knew he had been out for years but eight? That's just incredible." "I have always thought he was transgender. I think he was four when you first told me you thought he was gay. Did you ever catch him wearing your clothes?" Sarah asked with a laugh. "That little punk was always stealing my pants." Emily said laughing with her sister. Her laughter turned to sobs as it hit her... She'd lost her brother. "Oh Emily, I'm sorry." Sarah said, taking her in her arms. "It's not your fault." Emily said burying her face in her sisters shoulder. "Emily, this is no one's fault. It's just a huge mistake." Emily heard Collin say as he sat on the other side of her, rubbing her back soothingly. "Come on now, tell us more about when you met Alexis. Tell us what you where just thinking of when you realized you've always loved her" Collin said. He had been around Sarah too much. He was starting to sound more and more like a psychiatrist and less like the professional carpenter he was. Emily sat up and nodded, swiping at her eyes. "Yeah, okay." She said swallowing a sob. Emily sat up straighter between the couple and drew in a deep breath. "Alexis was wonderful. She sat down next to me that first day and just made me feel so at easy. I was so nervous and I didn't know anyone and she made it seem like we had been friends forever. It was just so easy talking to her. I woke up every morning ready to go to class because I knew that I would see her. Does that sound crazy?" Emily said looking over at her sister who didn't answer but waited for Emily to continue. "I should have seen it back then that I was falling for her. It was about the time that the winter semester started when I started to notice more and more things. Like her messing up in class and I knew she was going out a lot more often. I knew something wasn't right but I didn't know what it was. She would tell me of this person she slept with or how bad her hang over was. It was almost like she flaunted it. It hurt so bad. To know that she would never think of me like that. I saw it there the first day, but after she got to know me, knew about the kids and Mark and stuff... she never acted interested. God, if only I knew back then. The more she talked about it, the worse I felt. It was then I knew that I had fallen for her." "Does she know any of this?" Sarah asked. Emily shook her head. "I never told her." "I think now would be the perfect time to do so. She's going to need you these next few days. I would suggest that you make some calls to your dean and see about finding a way to make up your classes. You can give him my number if you like. I may be your sister, but I am also a doctor and I might be able to convince him more than you that right now it is for the best." Emily just nodded. "Do you feel up to talking to me some more? I am starving, I really didn't get to eat tonight. We could send Collin after some grub." Sarah said with a laugh as Emily's stomach rumbled at the talk of food. "I guess that's your answer." Emily went and checked on Alexis while Sarah took care of sending Collin out with a detailed list of what to get. Emily stood in the door way and watched Alexis sleep. She looked at her and smiled. Why had she been so stupid to hide her love? She need Alexis in her life for the rest of her life. "What are you thinking?" Her sister asked, joining her in the doorway. "I'm thinking how stupid our country is for not allowing people like Alexis and I to get married." "If you could..." Sarah started to ask. "I would in a heart beat." Emily said taking her eyes off of her love and onto Sarah's blue ones. It hit her for the millionth time how different the two of them where. Sarah and her had the same blonde hair, but that was as far as the similarities went. Sarah had the body of an athlete, long and slender. Her and Alexis both stood around 5'6 which dwarfed Emily's small five foot two frame. Sarah was always so soothing and knew how to talk to people. She was always good to break up fights and make people laugh. Sarah had the ability to draw people to her. She was always the most popular in high school for the fact that she could go around to every table, every social group, in school and fit right in. Emily on the other hand was a lot quieter, yet a fighter. Sarah had stepped in between more than one fight between her sister and someone who had said the wrong thing. Emily may not have had as many friends as her sister but the ones she had she wouldn't trade for the world. She was glad that she considered her sister to be one, even after all that had happened. "Thank you, Sarah." Emily said quietly, looking back over at Alexis. "You're my sister. I would do anything for you." Sarah said squeezing her sister's shoulders. "How about that talk now?" Emily said with a weak smile. "When ever you are ready." "I don't know if I will ever be ready. So take advantage of the situation and lets get some tea and talk."