Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:45:42 -0700 (PDT) From: AMANDA PLOGGER Subject: upside_umop_insideout-13 Okay This story contains sexual acts between two females if this offends you then don't read it. If you are not 18 or whatever the age maybe where your from, don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between two ladies, go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not real. Any similarities are just that. I still have many, many chapters to go. Let me know what you think so far. Good or bad. Thank you so much to everyone who has written me giving me much needed encouragement to keep writing. I have made many friends and hope to find even more. It is amazing who you meet on here. *smiles* I love to write so check back in soon and you are sure to find more. As always, enjoy. Amanda upside_umop_insideout Chapter 13 Death to Thee Emily felt as if she was going to be sick again, this time, not because of the child growing within her. She had caused this. This, all of this, was here fault. The fight with Bobby, the way everything happened tonight, Emily stood, she needed to get out. She needed to get away. Sarah watched her sister through tear filled eyes as she took three steps and stumbled. "Are you okay, Em?" Sarah asked quickly sobering up. Emily weakly nodded, grabbing onto island for support. As Sarah found comfort, her head buried into her husbands arms, the tears slowing, she heard the most sickening sound of her life. The thud of Emily's body hitting the floor. "Collin!" Sarah gasped as she shot out of her chair. Sarah rushed to her sisters crumpled body, fearing the worse. She did a quick assessment. No broken bones, but her breathing was coming in short gasp, her heart was racing, something just wasn't right. She wasn't responding. Collin looked at Sarah waiting, not sure what he could do to help. "Go wake Alexis. The drugs should have worn off." Sarah said while pulling cell phone out of her pocket, dialing emergency. "Alexis. Alexis?" Alexis eyes slowly opened, her eye lids still very heavy. She hadn't remembered ever feeling this tired. "Alexis, I hate to wake you dear, but Sarah just called rescue for Emily. She's passed out down stairs." It took a second for Collin's words to register into Alexis' brain and when they finally did her eyes flew open. "What? What happened? Is she going to be okay? Why did she pass out? What's going on?" Alexis said sitting up, too quickly, making her head spin. Alexis' hand shot up to her head, trying to will the spinning to stop. "Slow down, you are probably still going to be out of it. And one question at a time." Collin said taking Alexis by the arm and helping her to her feet. She wasn't exactly stable on them, still a bit groggy from the shot Sarah had given her earlier. "I don't know much. We were talking, Sarah told her what happened at their parents house tonight and Sarah was crying. Emily got up, looking a lot like you did earlier, and started across the kitchen. Next thing I knew Sarah was jumping out of my arms and Emily was on the floor." Collin explained, walking as quickly as he dared while half holding Alexis up. "She must think something is wrong for her to be calling..." Alexis' voice trailed off as the red and white flashing lights filled the stairwell. "Go get the door." Alexis said grabbing the railing on the stairs. "I'm fine just go." Collin nodded and bounded down the stairs. Reality hit Alexis as she watched the paramedics enter the house carrying a backboard. Collin directing them towards their kitchen. Alexis slowly made her way down the stairs, willing her legs to move faster, yet afraid if the did that her love wouldn't be the only person going to the hospital that night. As Alexis hit the last stair, the Sarah lead the way out of the house quickly followed by the EMT s. Alexis stood there stunned, not knowing what was happening, trying to suppress the sobs that threatened to over take her. "It will be alright Lex, really. Come on, we will follow them in the car." Collin said taking her arm. "No, I am riding with her." Alexis said yanking her arm away, walking with more steadiness than she felt out the front door. As she reached the yard the paramedics where just getting her loaded onto a stretcher and into the ambulance. "Sarah, what's going on?" Alexis asked getting closer. Sarah shook her head. "I don't know. I don't I just..." "Tell me what you do know, quick before they leave." "Her BP and Heart rate are through the roof, she's having problems breathing, by the bump on her head, I'd say she hit it on the counter on the way down." "Who is riding?" The paramedic asked "We need to get moving." Sarah nodded as Alex looked over at her questionably. "You go, we'll be right behind you the whole way." "Thank you, Sarah." Alexis sighed as she climbed up into the rig. Half of her was torn with worry for her love, now all hooked up with wires and tubes running everywhere. The other half of her was silently thankful that there would be no windows to have to stare out of on the drive. The medicine that still an through her and that would have definitely made her sick. She vaguely remembered hearing the young man tell her to sit back. He looked younger than both Emily and Alexis and she began to wonder just how qualified this boy was to work on Emily. The way he worked soon set Alexis to ease. "Ma'am, are you okay?" The boy asked her after rechecking Emily one more time. Alexis turned her lost eyes to him. "Huh? Yeah... just worried." "Ma'am, have you taken anything tonight?" "Her sister is a doctor. We've had long night. She gave me something to calm me." "What's her name?" "Sarah." "Her full name?" The boy asked impatiently. Alexis could tell that he wasn't believing her. "I don't know. Tonight is the first night I've met her. She's the one from back at the house. The one that is following us right now." Alexis said, rolling her eyes. "Do you know what she gave you." "Do you know what a pain in the ass you are?" The boy flushed, his cheeks going red. "Ma'am it's my job." "I understand that. Listen, talk to her when we get there. I don't know. She's the doctor not me." "We're here now. And believe me I will." The young man sprang through the doors, his partner running around the rig to help pull Emily out of the back. Before she had even made it down, they were in the doors and Collin and Sarah flanked her on either side, helping her walk faster than she would have been able to on her own. "Tell me she's going to be alright. Sarah. You have to tell me that." "I wish I could." She said quietly as they chased after the retrieving stretcher. I'm sorry you guys can't go in there." A nurse said, stopping them before a set of double doors. "That's my sister in there." Sarah said angrly. "I could give too hoots of a rats ass if that was the idol of your pagen worship in there, you still not allowed to go in." Alexis was about to die. She had to know what was going on. She looked at Sarah with pleading eyes. "Damn it, I am a doctor." "Fine you may enter, the other two have to go to the waiting room." They all three nodded. "Please let us know if anything happens to her, what the doctor and nurses are saying." Alexis begged, feeling her knees collapse under her, Collin's arms the only thing keeping her from the floor. "She needs a bed, she's under too much emotional stress I gave her 4 ccs of lorazepam at 0200." Sarah hurriedly told the nurse before she walked into the room after Emily. Alex numbly let the nurse pull her away- her eyes no longer seeing, her ears only catching a faint hum of the noise that surrounded her. Alex curled up in the bed the nurse had brought her to. She had no tears, no breath to fill her lungs. The only thing Alexis felt was fear. Above all else was the fear that threatened to over take her. It was her only connection to the world and she irrationally clung to it. fear of the unknown. Fear of losing the love of her life. Fear of losing the child they were to raise together Fear that if she was to let go of the only feeling that she had she would fade away. All too soon, the world did. 'Alex?" a voice haunted her dreams. Her dreams had been filled with familiar faces, Faces Alexis knew she should know. Faces that she just couldn't place. She knew that voice as well, but just as the faces, she couldn't recall just how or why it sounded so familiar. It called to her over and over again. Some times softly, other times more distinct and clear. There were times that Alexis could have swore she hear the sound of tears in the beautiful voice. Part of Alex wanted to reach out and comfort the voice, to let the sweet voice know that there was no need to cry. Yet, try as she might, she never could. "Alex, baby, come back to me..." Emily sat and cried on the edge of Alexis' bed. Three weeks had passed and Alexis still slept. She had woken a few times only to slip away again. No matter what Sarah or any of the other doctors told her, she knew that this was her fault. She knew it through and through. She had been the one brought to the hospital, unconscious. Emily apparently hadn't been watching her diet as closely as she should have been. The sodium from the Chinese food an a healthy- or rather unhealthy- does of soy sauce combined with sever stress had sent her blood pressure into dangerously high levels. The first night was touch and go and more than once the doctors thought that she would have a stroke from it. Emily wasn't sure how much of that Alexis knew. She didn't know if Alexis knew she was alright. If only there was some way to reach her. The doctors were at a loss as to why Alexis wouldn't wake up. They had ran test after test on her body, her body that now seemed so small and frail to Emily. She refused to leave her bed side, hoping for the best, yet fearing for the worst. "Emily, it is doing you no good sitting here. Baby, you need to go home, rest. Your kids need you." Sarah said, rubbing her hand over her sister's back. "I would be no good to them like this and we both know it." Emily said, her voice filled with anger. "I know." Her sister sighed, resigning her self to a seat next to the window. "I hate not knowing. If I knew I could fix her." Emily looked over at her sister for the first time in days, her face seemly stained permanently with tears. "Why won't she wake up? There has to be a reason." "Her body is shut down. Her brain waves are fine, her organs are all doing there job. Other than this she is in perfect health. She's just been through a lot. She needs time to rest and to heal." "That's what they keep telling me but it's been three weeks. I hate that I wasn't here for the first two. I hate that she woke when I wasn't here." "It was so brief I don't think it would have mattered." Sarah said, her voice drained. It finally sank in with Emily just how much her sister had given up these last few weeks. Not just her family, but her life. Emily couldn't count the number of nights that Sarah sat in this room with her or for her. Tears streamed down her face again as she stared at her sister, her life line. "What, sweetie? What's the matter?" Sarah asked, sitting up. "You." "Me?" Sarah asked shocked. "You. You have given up everything for me lately. I have no way I can thank you." Emily cried as Sarah took her hand. "Baby, I've told you. The thing with dad will pass. I don't know how long..." "No not just that." Emily stopped her. "Though that is part of it. You've giving up so much to support me. You've sat here with me. You've canceled appointments to be here for me. You and Collin have taken my kids in while I sit here and wait. It's too much." "No. It will never be too much. We are family. That is what we do. And I fully expect you to return..." Sarah stopped mid sentence as she noticed a movement over Emily's shoulder. Emily shot her head around like an owl. "Don't cry. Don't cry you." Alexis muttered in her sleep. Emily looked at Sarah and back at Alexis. "Talk to her." "Baby, I am here. It's Emily." "Emily?" Alexis' face scrunched up in concentration. She should know that name. "Keep talking. Tell here about your life together. About your baby." Sarah whispered, now standing next to Emily. Emily nodded. "Don't you remember love? We have two beautiful kids waiting at home for you. They miss you terribly. I am pregnant with the baby you always wanted but could never have. We met in college." "Emily." The voice and the name and the faces all began to click, falling into place. Alexis struggled to open her eyes. "Baby?" She asked weakly. "Yes, baby. The baby is fine. I am fine. Come back to me my love." Sarah muttered something about another doctor and quickly walked out of the room. "You... your okay?" Alexis said, still confused. Her eyes hurt. Her body hurt. She struggled to open her eyes and as soon as she did regretted it instantly. "Too bright." She muttered. Emily jumped from the bed. "Don't go." Alexis could hear movement in the room. "I'm not going any where without you. I'm just making it a little darker in here is all." Emily said, out of breath from literally running around the room. "Try again." She said, taking Alexis' hand into her own. Alexis slowly opened her eyes, letting them adjust to the semi-darkness. Her eyes settled on Emily's. "Are you an angel?" She asked, her throat rough and scratchy. Emily laughed. "No, I am just me. Just Emily." "Drink." Alexis said, struggling under the weight of her own body to sit up. Emily looked towards the door, wishing her sister would return so she would know what to do. She was sure she had already informed the nurses that Alexis was awake. The entire hospital staff seemed to know of Alexis and of Emily as well. She had heard the faint talk of the nurses passing through the hospital on some nights while she toyed to sleep. They had all been so kind to her. "Let me see if it's okay." She told Alexis staring into her beautiful eyes. "If what is okay?" A young doctor asked as he and her sister entered the room. "She was asking for a drink." "Let me look you over real quick and then i think you can have what ever you like." He said, standing over Alexis. She smiled weakly at him. "Don't go." Alexis said once more, grabbing Emily's hand as she rose from her bed. "Just giving Doctor Fetter some room to work. I'll be right over here with Sarah if you need us." Emily pointed to the far wall where her sister stood. Alexis smiled just realizing that Emily's sister was in the room. "Hi Sarah." She said, her voice sounding hoarse. "Hi sweetie." "You took care of her for me?" Alexis asked while the doctor began his head-to-toe exam. "I tried. She was stubborn and refused to leave your side." "How long?" Alexis asked, cocking her head to the side. "Alexis, you have been in a sort of coma for three weeks and two days now. Do you remember anything before you went to sleep?" Dr. Fetter asked standing back up to his full height. "I remember Mark, her husband..." "Ex-husband now." Emily corrected. she smiled and told Alex she'd explain soon. "Oh well, her ex-husband. He got the kids while i was in class on Friday. He made a comment, I don't remember what. I wanted to hurt him for it." Alexis sat and thought for a minute. "Bobby. Bobby hurt my Em. I hate him for it. We took Emily home cause she was sleeping." "Is that all you remember?" He asked again. "I don't know... there is more but I don't know. I had so many dreams I don't know what really happened after that or what was a dream or nightmare." Alexis shook her head. Emily was scared. That wasn't good. "That's fine. That's actually normal. We will set you up with a therapist to get that all straightened out. Other than that, you are in perfect health. I think we can get these IVs out of you now and get you some real food. We will keep you over night for observation and I am thinking, if these two ladies back here can keep an eye on you, then you should be able to get out of her by tomorrow at the latest. We will run a few more test just to make sure but I don't see that there should be a problem." The doctor said warmly. "So she's alright?" Emily asked, still not convinced. "As far as I can tell yes." He said, his face showing the relief he felt at that statement. Emily smiled, her tears falling again. This time out of joy. The doctor backed away as Alexis held her arms out. "I dreamed of you." Alexis said as Emily buried her face into Alex's chest, sobbing. "Yeah?" Emily's voice asked, muffled. "Yes. I couldn't remember in my dreams who you were. I hated that I couldn't remember. But you were there. And your voice. I heard you. I didn't know it was your voice. I heard you crying so many times. I wanted to tell you it'd be okay but I couldn't." Alexis pulled Emily's chin away from her now soaked gown. "But now, I can. It will be okay. Understand?" Emily nodded as Alexis brought her mouth closer to Emily's. "I love you." "I love you too baby." Alexis sighed as she pressed her dry lips to Emily's. "Sarah?" Alexis called, looking over Emily's shoulder at a woman she had come to respect greatly in just one night. Well, it had been many after that, but for Alex it was one night. "What can I do for you Alexis?" Sarah asked, steeping forward from the shadows. "Take her home. Make her get some sleep. I am sure the kids miss her." "I am not going..." Emily started to protest but was stopped by Alexis' fingers being placed so lightly against her lips. "You will. You heard the doctor. i am going to be in and out having test ran. I promise. I won't close my eyes again until I see you." She said staring directly into Emily's green eyes. "You know I can't tell you know when you look at me like that." "I know. So admit defeat and go home for a while. Sarah can bring you back later, but only for a bit. You are not sleeping in that chair again." Alexis said forcefully. "Bring our kids to see me too. I miss them." "I..." Emily began, but shut her mouth again, realizing the words that had just came out of Alexis' mouth. 'Our kids' "Let's go Em, she's right and you know it. Plus those kids are dying to see her too. they've missed you both." Emily nodded, her eyes never leaving Alexis'. Alexis smiled a knowing smile and kissed Emily, before weakly pushing her from the bed. "I love you." Emily called out as Sarah practically dragged her from the room. "I love you too dear." Sure enough, Alexis came home and within a few weeks was back to herself. With Sarah's help she had worked through all the blocks her brain had set up to protect itself. Little by little. "Baby, I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you.' Emily said curled up on the couch with Alex a little over a month later. "You would have survived." Alexis said intertwining her fingers with Emily's as Emily laid between her legs. Emily looked over her shoulder. "You really think that?" "I think you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. I mean look at all you have endured and you are still standing." "Barely baby. Just barely. If you weren't here I would have cracked under the pressure a long time ago." "If I wasn't here you wouldn't have these problems." Alexis muttered to herself, but it was still loud enough Emily caught what she said. Emily spun around. "Baby, I love you but even without you I would still have a lot of problems to face and sooner or later I would have had o face up to my sexuality. So, I love you, but don't flatter your self. This was my choice. Understood?" Alexis pulled Emily into a hug. "Fine sweetie. Whatever you say." Emily tried to pull back to face Alex again but Alexis' arms stayed tight around her. "This is NOT your fault. Quit blaming your self." Emily protested, her words muffled into Alex's shoulder. "Okay, I will try. That is the most I can promise you." "I guess that will do. Are you going to come to the appointment with me tomorrow?" Emily asked, finally able to sit up. Alexis' arms still circled her, not letting her get to far away. "What time is it again?" Alexis asked with a smile. "Ten thirty. Why, you have other plans?" "Actually, I do." Alexis' shit eating grin told Emily that there was something up. "And what exactly are your plans?" "Well..." Alexis teased. "Tell me you." "I have a lunch date with Collen and a client of his." "Really? What about?" Emily asked, struggling to sit up, sitting crossed legged in between Alexis' legs. "Well... I have been working on a business plan as part of my therapy. It started out as an exercise but has progressed a lot since then." "And?" "Well, Sarah really liked all the work I had done on it. I guess she showed it to Collen and unbeknown to me, he's been shopping it around." "Why didn't you tell me? Is this what has been keeping you up late at night?" Emily asked excitedly. "Yes, and I didn't tell you because I didn't know until a few days ago and even then I didn't want either one of us to get our hopes up. This is just an preliminary meeting." Alexis said, still smiling. "Okay, you are telling me not to get my hopes up but by the smile on your face is telling me that you are doing just the opposite." "Yeah, yeah. It's just this guy sounds like he's ready to forward with this." "So what it is? What kind of business is it? What is your business plan? Come on tell me. I'm dying to know." "It's actually something that I would like your help with... if you are willing to help. Was kind of hoping we could find someone to watch the kids and you could come with me." Emily laughed and smacked Alexis in the arm. "Will you at least tell me what you are talking about?" "Hold on let me go get it." Alexis said crawling from underneath Emily, sprinting across the living room to where her bag hung. Emily laughed as she watched her girl pull a nicely bound folder out of her bag and gracefully dance back to the couch. Her energy was contagious. "So here it is." She said, sitting next to Emily, flipping open the folder. Emily was surprised by all the bar graphs and technical data that sat before her. Alexis definitely had but some work into it. "This is basically just a lot of number crunching but the good stuff is back here." She said as she flipped to the back. "Remember Mike from our 3D class? He's going in for drafting, to be an architect or something. He was more than happy to do the sketch for me as long as I agreed that if this goes through that he can draw up the plans for me." Emily sat there, her jaw hanging open. There on one of the last pages sat a beautiful water color mock up of a quaint building. To one side sat what looked to be a small country store, in the middle an inn or bed and breakfast with a restaurant to the right. The sign that hung above the center structure read "Emily's Place" "Well, are you going to say something?" Authors Note: Okay, so per my "editor" I am here to post this question to you, seeing as we keep arguing. If this story were to be published A: Would you read it? and B: Would you buy it? I, in all my modesty, say it's not worth spending money on. She disagrees. So we are putting it to a vote. Please write and let me know what you think. Until next time, Amanda