Date: Sun, 2 Sep 2007 12:27:44 -0700 (PDT) From: AMANDA PLOGGER Subject: upside_umop_insideout-5 Okay This story contains sexual acts between two females if this offends you then don't read it. If you are not 18 or whatever the age maybe where your from, don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between two ladies, go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not real. Any similarities are just that. I still have many, many chapters to go. Let me know what you think so far. Good or bad. Thank you so much to everyone who has written me giving me much needed encouragement to keep writing. I have made many friends and hope to find even more. It is amazing who you meet on here. *smiles* I love to write so you will have a lot of reading if you check back in. As always, enjoy. Amanda Oh, and cuteness... I love you. upside_umop_insideout Part 5 So much "Say whatever it is your thinking." Alexis said as she ran her hands through Emily's short hair. She had no way of knowing that was the best way to relax Emily. Emily nodded feeling completely at ease in Alexis's arms. She began to talk into her shoulder. "I guess... I guess it's just hard to know that I wasn't enough for him. That I couldn't make him happy. And I worry if the same thing will..." Alexis pulled back and brought Emily's eyes to her own. "You don't have to worry about that, Emily. I love you." "He loved me at one time, too, Alex. I worry that it's not enough, that it won't last. I worry that I can't keep you happy. I love you and can't stand the thought of losing you, ever." Emily shook her head and laughed through her tears as she let go and turned back to the pond. Alexis stepped closer and leaned into Emily's back, wrapping her arms around her waist. "God, what is my problem? I am never this emotional. Bet you are ready to run for the hills." Emily said as she looked over her shoulder at Alexis. "I wouldn't blame you. I am a complete utterly hopeless mess." "Emily, you are not utterly hopeless." Alexis said firmly. She couldn't stand girls that did that crap, taking bad about themselves. "Okay, so then I am just a complete mess..." "Stop!" Alexis growled as Emily as she roughly turned her around by her shoulders. Emily crying stopped completely as she stared stunned at Alexis's angry glare that fluttered across her face. She didn't know for what but it was if Alexis's eyes was probing Emily's face for some unreachable answer. They stood there silently for what seemed like ages. "Alexis." Emily whispered, her eyes bringing Alexis's to her own. "Alexis?" "Don't. Do. That. Emily." Alexis's halted speech scared Emily. "I love you but I am not here to validate you. You are not a mess. Yes your plate maybe full right now, honey. But if I didn't see something special in you I wouldn't be standing her." Alexis took Emily's chin in her hand and smiled. "And if you think a few tears are going to have me running for the hills you are gravely mistaken. You can't get rid of me that easy." Emily sat there looking at Alexis, letting her words sink in. She knew Alexis, knew she would fight for what she wanted. Slowly Emily smiled. "I can't believe how fast all of this is happening. I am falling head over heals for you." Emily said staring into Alexis's soul piercing eyes. Alexis curled her fingers around the back of Emily's neck, letting them play with her baby hairs. "Are you okay?" Alexis asked, quietly gazing at Emily. Alexis couldn't help but smile as she watched Emily cock her head to the side to ponder that question. God, she was just too cute. Emily stepped closer into Alexis and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I don't know what my problem is. God, I feel like I could fly away when I am in your arms. I feel like I can face anything." Alexis tightened her grip on Emily's neck, pulling her lips to her own. Emily felt like electricity pulsed through her as Alexis's lips brushed across hers. All the despair that had filled Emily disappeared instantly. In the back of her mind she knew that she would be fine, as long as Alexis was there beside her. The days went by slowly. Emily was in agony every time she was apart from Alexis. They soon fell into a routine of meeting before class, holding hands or brushing up against one another during, only to have to say a quick goodbye after; Alexis running off to work, Emily to fetch Piper and Brant from day care. Amazingly, the kids didn't really react to Mark's disappearing act. He was so often gone away on business that the lass really wasn't that noticeable. After the kids where in bed asleep and homework was done, Emily would call Alexis. They'd talk about their evening, their past, their dreams. They'd read to each other- favorite quotes, moving passages, a page from the book that one of them was reading at the moment. Emily's favorite was the poetry. "The Wandering Aengus W.B. Yeats" Alexis's smooth voice filled Emily's ears as she laid on her living room floor on her back, her feet propped up against the couch. "I went out to the hazel wood, Because a fire was in my head, And cut and peeled a hazel wand, And hooked a berry to a thread; And when white moths were on the wing, And moth-like stars were flickering out, I dropped the berry in a stream And caught a little silver trout. When I had laid it on the floor I went to blow the fire a-flame, But something rustled on the floor, And some one called me by my name: It had become a glimmering girl With apple blossom in her hair Who called me by my name and ran And faded through the brightening air. Though I am old with wandering Through hollow lands and hilly lands, I will find out where she has gone, And kiss her lips and take her hands; And walk among long dappled grass, And pluck till time and times are done The silver apples of the moon, The golden apples of the sun." It was a beautiful poem. "I will find out where she has gone..." The line rand in Emily's ears. It was just a poem. Over the last weeks they had read many of them to each other. Emily wasn't sure if it was the poem or her own need that brought the sob to her throat and the tears that burned her eyes. "Emmie?" Alexis's voice called out to her. "I'm sorry Alexis." Emily's voice broken with tears. "What is it, sweetie? What's the matter?" "I need you." Emily's tear filled voice broke Alexis's heart and with those three words Alexis was out the door. "I know, Emily. I am on my way." And she did know. She knew she needed Emily too. Not just physically; Alexis needed to hold her, to look into her eyes. Alexis grabbed her keys and was out the door. None of it registered. It was a blur. "Tell me where I am going." Alexis said, silently thanking God for this wonder called a cell phone. "Alex, no. You don't..." "Yes, I do. Tell me where to go, Em." Alexis said firmly. Emily fought back her tears long enough to make sure Alexis would find her way. Emily pulled her feet off the couch and rolled into a ball, silently crying into the phone, waiting. Alexis flew through the city, dodging cars here and there, slowing just long enough at a red light to make sure the coast was clear. "Alexis, I can hear your tires squealing, slow down. I don't want to lose you." Emily's voice sounded so strained even in her own ears. "Baby, I am almost there. I am hanging up now." Alexis said as she flipped the hone shut, not even waiting on an answer. Alexis quickly turned into the driveway and knew that she had found the right house. How many times had she kissed Emily good bye as she leaned on that car? Alexis ran up the walk way bounding up the stairs. She had to get to her Emily. She liked that thought. Her Emily. Alexis reached out for the door handle, still moving at full speed. It didn't budge and before she could slow the momentum of her body, Alexis ran smack into the door and onto her ass. Sore, she kicked the door loudly. "Em, open the damn door." She yelled loudly. Alexis sat there and looked up at Emily's tear stained face. "Alexis?" Emily's voice cracked. "Hey beautiful." Alexis smiled up at her. Even all splotchy and red from crying, her hair a mess she was sure due to the kids, she was still the most beautiful thing that Alexis's had ever seen. "What the hell are you doing down there?" Emily asked as she reached out her hand to help Alexis up. "Enjoying the view." Alexis said smiling evilly as she took Emily's hand. With one quick tug she had thrown Emily off of balance and had her laying on top of her. "Hey beautiful" Alexis purred into Emily's ear as she fought for some composure. "That. Was. Not. Nice." Emily stuttered as she caught her breath. Emily wrapped her arms around Alexis's neck and hugged her tightly. "I'm so glad you're here. God I needed you." "You said that. But you are choking me, babe." Alexis laughed hugging her back, never wanting to let go. "You know if someone walks by they are going to wonder what we are doing laying here in the doorway like this. Some of my neighbors might come beat you up thinking you are hurting me." Emily's body shook as she laughed. Emily and Alexis's made their way inside and curled together under a blanket, a lamp illuminating the other wise darkened house. Emily loved just laying here with Alexis's arms around her, hearing her heart beating as she laid on her chest. "This is so nice." Emily sighed as Alexis ran her fingers through Emily's hair. "If I could end every day like this..." Alexis's voice trailed off and she smiled as Emily looked up at her. "That sounds so nice. Getting to lay in your arms all the time." Emily said as she settled back into the crook of Alex's arms. "That it does." And they settled into the quiet darkness enjoying the quiet companionship of the other. The kids slept quietly upstairs. The world passed by outside. But here in this room, there was only the two of them. The two of them together, happy content just to be near one another. "So why not?" Emily said breaking the silence after a bit. "Why not what?" Alexis crooned. "Why not end every night like this?" Emily said pushing her self up just enough to look at Alexis. Alexis sighed loudly. She would love to end up like this every night, or to be able to fall into bed with Emily whenever she wanted. It just wasn't a possibility. "That would be a lot of back and forth and some nights after work, well, its just..." Alexis's voice trailed off again. "Alex, I meant..." Emily hesitated and swallowed hard before continuing. "I meant why don't you move in here." She asked looking at her. Alexis squirmed beneath her, struggling to sit up under the weight of Emily's body. "Or not, it was just a suggestion." Emily said, hurt. She sat up and moved to the other end of the couch. "Baby, it's not that I don't want to. It's just... you have your kids and how would that work? You need your space and I have to have mine. It's we are awful new and that's a big, big jump that I don't know if either of us are ready for." Alexis's tried to explain as she sat up and looked at Emily at the other end of the couch. "You don't even want to hear me out? I have answers you know. It's not something that I just came up with out of the blue." Emily said in a voice that was clearly a pout. "I should have known you would have thought this stuff out before saying anything. Okay, I do want to know so, let's hear it love." Her voice soothing and quiet. "I know it would be hard on both of us, but while the kids where around, we could just be best friends... but, the kids do have a bed time. And they rarely ever wake up after they are down. And then... There is the old nursery that is empty. We can convert it into a room for you. It connects to my room through a bathroom that's in between, you know Brady Bunch style? So that way we each have our own space, but access to each other at the same time." Emily's voice paused and then pushed on ward as Alexis seemed to be thinking things over. "No one would think anything of it unless we wanted them to know. The kids didn't even question Mark leaving, I don't a four and one and a half year old are going to try to figure out why you are here. I live closer to the school, and your work for that matter. And you'd save money by not having to pay rent and utilities. Mark covers all that.... And, and uh." Emily's thought process had finally completed and it was almost as if she could see the ideas running through Alexis's brain as she spoke. "Okay." She said looking up at Emily. "Okay?" Emily was shocked. She never thought that this would be that easy of a sale. "Do you think this is easy for me either? Grr God, I love you." Alexis growled. "I can't stand being away from you. Really, I mean... It hurts that I can't fall asleep at night because of the thought of you laying in my arms next to me keeps me awake. I want to fall asleep next to you, wake up next to you, to see you whenever I want. And I know... God I know about your kids and I will never get in between you guys. But the thought of living here with you." The smile that filled her voice brought Emily's eyes to her. "The thought of living here with you... even if it means having to stay in my own bed and not yours every night... that thought makes my heart soar." Emily felt the sob rise in her throat and escape her lips. She loved Alexis more than she could ever say. Alexi pulled Emily in her arms and crushed her mouth in a kiss that was filled with every emotion she felt in that moment. She lifted Emily in her arms, just as she had done their first night together and carried her up the stairs. "Which way, love?" She asked as she reached the top. Emily quietly pointed the way to the bedroom. Alexis laid her on the bed and turned to lock the door. She needed to feel Emily's naked form in her arms, to make love to her. Alexis stood Emily in the middle of the room and wasted no time getting them both naked. "I will never get over how glorious your body is." Alexis purred as she grabbed Emily by her hair and pulled her lips to her own, kissing her roughly, showing her what she wanted. Emily pulled away breathless. "Please Alexis I need to feel you inside of me." That was all the direction Alexis needed. She didn't even worry about the bed, but practically threw Emily onto the floor, her lips and hand assaulting every inch of Emily's body, leaving it red and flushed with kisses and want. "Please. Alexis. Don't. I need you." Emily said between breaths, arching her back as Alexis's tongue pushed against her nipple. Alexis quickly kissed her way down Emily's body, stopping to look up at Emily as she hovered inches above her. The look of love and lust filled Emily's eyes as she looked down her own body as Alexis laying between her legs. She smiled as she ran her fingers through Alexis's hair and lifted her hips towards her, showing her what she wanted. She watched as Alex dropped her head closer and closer, still looking up at Emily. Her smell filled Alexis's nostrils. It was like breathing in a drug. She wanted more. She knew Emily need more. Alexis began to lick, her tongue pressed flat, up and down. She loved the velvety softness of Emily's sex. She loved the way her tongue found all the sweet little folds. She began to kiss her as if she were kissing her lips, her heart racing with every sigh she brought from Emily. Emily's body began to tighten, not quiet there, but getting closer. Her breath was coming in short gasp and she pulled Alexis by her hair deeper into her. She rose off the bed as Alexis's tongue ran roughly over her very swollen clit, before sucking it into her mouth.. Alexis wouldn't let her get away, she held onto Emily's hip as her body bucked against Alexis's face. "Oh god.... Alexisssss...." Emily hissed, trying to stay quiet. She did have kids down the hall. Emily grabbed on to the bed sheets with one hand and shoved the other in her mouth to keep from screaming out as Alexis drove two fingers into her dripping wet pussy. Her tongue assaulted Emily's clit while her hand fucked Emily into oblivion. "I'mmm cummmmiiiinnngggg." Emily sighed loudly as every nerve in her body exploded. Alexis face was covered as Emily's orgasm ripped through her body. Just as she was beginning to come down, Alexis's fingers and tongue sped up again, and again. Emily wrapped her legs around Alexis's head holding her still, as wave after wave hit her. Alexis smiled as Emily's body finally went limp. She knew she had shown her exactly how much she loved her. Emily smiled contently as she laid next to Alexis, her head laying on Alexis's arm. "Wild nights! Wild nights! Were I with thee, Wild nights should be our luxury!" Emily sighed as she watched Alexis's fingers lace in and out of hers. "Are you quoting Emily Dickinson after making love to me?" Alexis chuckled. They had taken the same class and their professor had pounded classic authors into their brains. "I sure am." "Well if you are going to quote something at least make it about love not wild nights. `I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee more than death'." "Aww, so sweet. If I remember right though it's actually `... I shall but love thee better after death.' But still sweet." Emily laughed. "Hush and kiss me." Alexis growled rolling over on top of Emily. This would be the first of many, many wonderful nights. Emily had told her family of Mark's leaving shortly after it had happened. None of them could believe that `their' dear Mark would do such a thing. "I still don't understand it. Why would he just up and leave you and the kids?" Mom asked over their weekly cup of tea. "Mom, I don't know. I don't understand it either. Neither of us had been very happy for a long, long time. Mom, you know that as well as I do. God, how many times did I call you crying over our last fight?" Emily asked plopping down in front of the large picture window that circled the table. "True." Emily's mother stirred her coffee and looked out the window. "You don't think he was having an affair, do you?" Her mother asked absent mindedly still staring out the window. "Grandma, grandma- look what I found!" Brant exclaimed running into the kitchen, his hands carefully clasped in front of him as he ran. Emily watched her mother's youthful gaze turn to her son. She smiled as her mother playfully peered into Brant's hands and it hit her how young her mother still was. Too young to be thought of as grandma. "Oh no!" Her mom yelled as a lime green tree frog flew from Brant's hands onto the solid oak table. Laughing they all dove for the frog, who of course, being a frog, would jump right through their fingers at the last second. "Gotcha!" Emily yelled as she placed a china cup over the little green amphibian. "Yeah, mommy!" Brant's four year old voice cheered as he jumped up and down. "You got him!" "Why don't we take him outside? What do you say, Brant?" Emily's mother asked, smiling widely at her grandson. "Aww, okay grandma." He looked down disappointed, yet still smiling ear to ear. "For being someone whose husband just left him, I must say you look radiant. I think this is the happiest I have seen you... ever. You are positively glowing, little one." Her mom said, looking her over as they sat back down moments latter. Emily tried but she couldn't quit smiling. She was happy. School was going good; Mark was holding up his end of the agreement; Alexis was now living with her- even if it was in separate rooms; the kids where good. "I am happy mom. Very happy." Emily said, feeling her smile grow. "If only I could tell you why." She thought to herself as she looked away from her mother's intense gaze, her smile fading. "There's something that you are not telling me." Her mother said. It was a statement, not a question. Her mother always knew when there was more to the story than what was being told. Emily looked back at her mom, debating. She knew sooner rather than later, she would tell her. They had grew up in a very religious home. It had taken them, literally years, to accept Bobby- her very homosexual little brother. He was twelve when he came out. "Soon, mom. Not now though okay? Soon. I promise." Emily said quietly more to her self than anyone. The slight nod of her mother's head told her that she had heard. "Bobby told me he's coming over for lunch tomorrow." Her mother was always great at changing the subject from a hard subject. "Yeah, he has some paperwork that he needs help filling out. God, to think that he will be in school with me." "Don't remind me. Six years it's taken you. And don't remind me how much he's grown up. I still like to think of him as that little 8 years old boy playing in mud in the back yard." His mother smiled at the thought. "Mom, he was trying to give him self a mud facial. I don't see how it came as such a shock to you all when he came out." Emily laughed, Barbra just sighed. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that the kids won't be there for Sunday dinner." "Oh really? Why's that?" Her mother asked looking over at her. "Mark called and asked if he could take them for a long weekend at his parents house. He hasn't seen them since he left so I couldn't tell him no." Emily told her mother. Emily and Barbra drank their tea and talked a bit more before her mother told her she had to run. Always some charity event or another to attend to. "How was your day." Alexis asked as she walked in to find Emily washing dishes a bit later. "Mom was over for tea." Emily said over her shoulder as she carefully washed the fine china tea pot. Alexis grabbed a water from the fridge, then leaned back against the island, taking in Emily's beautiful back side. "She told me I was glowing." Emily said, smiling back at Alexis. Alexis nodded "You are. God, you are... you are so beautiful." Emily dried her hands and turned around. Looking both ways, as if crossing a busy street, Emily checked to make sure the coast was clear. She quickly closed the gap between them, kissing Alexis passionately. Alexis was taken aback by the heat the kissed contained and had to hold the counter top to keep her knees under her. "I want to tell them, my family. I can't hide it. Everyone that looks at me can tell. Baby, I am in love. And I want to shout it from the roof tops." Emily's energy was contagious. Alexis picked Emily up around the waist and spun her around in a circle.