Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 22:12:40 EDT
From: SpecialPopcorn@aol.com
Subject: After The End-Part IV

This story is a work of fiction(obviously). If you are under 18, get out
now.

 All night Rob was with Crystal, I heard nothing from her room, and he
never came out and told me how she was doing or anything.
 In the meantime I lay on the couch, sleep impossible, breathing in the
scent she had left behind, crying because I was afraid it would be all I
had left of her. Eventually, the exhaustion of tending to Crystal all day
came down on me, and slept finally took me.

 I dreamed that night. I dreamed that I kneeled on a lump of dirt, where
underneath my one true love lay. I just sat there on my knees, eyes
closed, on top of the mound of fresh dug soil. Tears occasionally making
there way down my cheek. I lay on the grave, dying, dying.....until my
skeloton lay on top of the soil, and all was lost.
 Then I was shaking, and someone was calling.....
 I woke with a start to Rob shaking me and calling my name. "Jamie! Are
you awake?"
 I sat up so suddenly he was startled himself. "How is she?" I demanded
immediatly.
 He took a deep breath. "Well, I did get her temperature down a little.
Enough to keep her alive. I've treated her with medicine that can be used
for radiation poisoning, but she had it so long before treatment....." He
trailed and looked at me sadly. "She had it for hours, and it was
intense. I've done all I can, but it's hard to tell if she'll live or
not. All we can do now is hope."
 Hope. The word had meant nothing to me for the last six months, I had
given it up. I had accepted that I couldn't be saved, that I was doomed
to live alone and in torture until the day my miserable life ended. I had
been wrong. Crystal had saved me. She'd shown me that hope was worth it,
there was always some to be found, even if it could not be soon. And I
had to have some now. I had to hope for her, because I knew I could save
her if I did. I had hope.
 "Thank you," I said. "Thank you so much. Could I...."
 Rob looked in my eyes. "Go ahead. She wants to see you." He was
beginning to understand what feelings were between us.
 I gave him a hug, and then went up the stairs. Slowly I opened the door
to her room and peeked inside.
 Her eyes were open. She was waiting for me. "Come in," she said quietly,
her voice still faint.
 I stepped into her room. Medical instruments were strewn around on the
table, I ignored them and sat down on the chair next to her bed. She
wasn't trembling anymore, but she was still sweating. I touched her
forehead, she wasn't burning, but still hot. She might have been dying,
but her eyes were clear and bright, the way they were when I first saw
her up close. i didn't know what to say. But she did.
 "Hi," she said.
 "Hi," I replied weakly.
 "I missed you."
 I laughed. I don't know why. "I missed you more."
 "I'm sorry."
 Then I remembered when she had said that before. I thought it was just
part of the delerium, but she really meant it. "Why? For what?"
 "I love you."
 All the sadness I was feeling disappeared; This was what true love felt
like, when I had found out that the woman I had adored more than anyone
else felt the same way about me. My joy at that moment was endless. There
was no more fear or doubt. "Crystal....I love you too..so much."
 "I know." She took a deep breath. "But i'm sorry to both of us...because
soon i'll be gone..and I just fell in love with you....i've never been in
love before..."
 "Me neither," I breathed. It was true.
 "I'm sorry I have to die...I don't want to.."
 "Then don't believe it. You have to have hope. And even if you don't,
theres always some there."
 She coughed harshly, an awful sound. "How do you know?"
 "Because I never did, but I got it anyway." I took her hand. "And now I
have more than ever before. Please believe with me."
 She gave my hand a weak squeeze. "I believe in you. I'll believe with
you."
 We were crying together again. I wiped her tears away gently, then
brushed her hair back from her eyes, leaned forward and kissed her
forehead sweetly, pressing my lips to her skin, hopefully giving her even
a little bit of pleasure. "I love you," I whispered. "Don't die."
 She scooted her head over so there was more room on the pillow. I placed
my head on it next to hers, and we both slept then. For me, I know some
visions danced around my head while I slumbered, but I did not remember
them when I awoke.

 Rob woke me up in the evening. I glanced over and saw that Crystal was
still asleep. I lifted my head from her pillow and Rob said, "I need to
give her some meds. Could you wait for me downstairs? I just want to talk
to you."
 I nodded sleepily and left the room quietly, shutting the door. A few
minutes later, I was downstairs on the couch with my thoughts again, and
looked up as Rob came back down the stairs, looking at me.
 "Hi," I said. I was a little nervous, what did he want to talk to me
about?
 "Hey," he replied. "I just wanted to ask you..and please don't be
offended, I don't mean it, but....do you.." he paused. "..have feelings
for Crystal?"
 "Yes." My reply was immediate. "I love her."
 His eyes widened. "But she said she only got here the day before
yesterday..did you know her before the end of the world?"
 "No."
 "But...that means you've only known her for less than two days! How can
you be in love?"
 "I don't know. I don't know what causes a thing like that. All I know is
that I do love her very much, and now that she's in my life, I can't live
without her. She loves me too, you know."
 "Yes I got that feeling..." He looked at me sadly. "But Jamie, I don't
know if she'll live. She is doing better but whether she'll live or not
is basically in a your-guess-is-as-good-as-mine state. What will you do
if she dies?"
 I looked at the ground. I didn't know.
 I guess he could read the look on my face. "Can you promise me this?
Whatever happens to her, you'll come back to the place I found? Even if
she dies, you shouldn't be here by yourself anymore. There is nothing for
you here, only disdain. So no matter what, will you promise to come back
with me to California?"
 "I can't promise anything." I looked back up at him then. "I don't want
to make desicions that surround Crystal's death until she might actually
die. But if she is going to die soon, I'll give you my desicion
afterwards. I can't give it now."
 He did nothing for a moment, and then nodded, accepting my answer. Then
he gave me a weak smile. "I think it's only fair for you to know; I once
dated Crystal."
 Now it was my turn for my eyes to go wide. "You did?"
 "Yes. It didn't last long, we soon found out that we were better off
friends. I knew there was something about her, that she didn't like guys.
But she never outright told me that she was a lesbian so I didn't say
nething."
 "She didn't say anything about it either, but I think I have an answer
anyway," I laughed, and he laughed too. Our laughter didn't last long, as
the reality of the sad, sad situation sank back in. We were both silent
for awhile. The silence wasn't that bad, though. It was actually kind of
peaceful.
 Suddenly we both sat up, as a short scream came from upstairs. Panic
filled me and for a second I didn't move. Thank goodness for Rob's
reflexes; he was up and running in an instant. I followed soon after. He
burst into Crytal's room, while I stood in the doorway, not wanting to
get in his way. Crystal was wrapping her hands around her stomach and her
face was contorted in pain. "What's wrong??" Rob demanded.
 "My stomach....God it hurts!" She grated.
 Rob looked around the room quickly and said to me, "Get a pan!"
 I kicked myself for not bringing one up earlier. I rushed downstairs,
grabbed a large saucepan from the bottom cupboard and ran back upstairs
with it. Before I could go into the room, Rob met me at the entrance,
blocking my way into the room. He took the pan from me and said,
 "Thanks, now please, it's better I be left alone to..."
 I shoved by him and rushed to my love's bedside. Holding her head in my
hands, I kissed her lips softly. Then I looked intently at her face and
spoke firmly. "Crystal, honey can you hear me?"
 She barely opened her eyes in response, and she clenched her teeth
together, grimacing in pain.
 "Honey listen to me. Remember what I said. Hold on to the hope there
is!! I still have it!"
 Rob grabbed me and dragged me away from her, but I wasn't done shouting.
"I still have it!!!!!"
 He practically threw me from the room and shut the door, and again I was
alone while she suffered. Rage suddenly began to roar inside me, and I
banged my fists against the wall, letting out a harsh growling cry from
deep within my throat as I writhed in my anger. My blind foaming fury led
me to the edge of the stairs, over the top, and I found my self flying
head over heels. It seemed as though I were catapulting in slow motion,
down the staircase. Away, farther and farther away from where Crystal
was. I finally crashed on the bottom landing, and felt my head slam
against the wall, and a suffocating darkness swallowed me whole.

Did I say this was the final part? Whoops sorry. No, theres going to be
just one more chapter to this story. Stay tuned!! Questions and/or
comments are always welcome at specialpopcorn@aol.com. Thanks for having
so much patience!