Joe_Bates_Saga_________________________________________________________7__ 7. Chapter : The Second Day The sun was just making itself known as Joe woke up. The first thing he noticed was the snowy glow coming from the television on the other side of the room. He also realized that Linda was with him. She was still asleep, her arm lying across his chest. He looked at her. He thought she was lovely. The dim light made her look almost angelic as she lay there, breathing softly. He thought of last night, and the things they did. He felt his body. He somehow hoped that he would find he had changed back to normal, but the now familiar softness told him that he was entering the second day of his new body, and he was doing it in bed with his girlfriend. Joe reached for the remote control laying on the stand at the other side of the bed. Moving as softly as he could, he reached over Linda to get the device, and switched off the television. His movements woke her. She mumbled something, and reached for him. He took her hand, and started stroking her arm. She closed her eyes as he rubbed her back. He thought she was so soft, and so beautiful. The way she made him feel last night, and the way she taught him to please her, still seemed like a dream. He did not feel self conscious around her at all. He began to wonder about himself. Was he destined to be a Lesbian? No, he figured, he did not think, or act, like a woman, but last night, he did experience better sex than he could ever remember. He really had not missed his penis. Joe rubbed his crotch. The excitement last night left his pubic hair matted and stiff with dried juices. He roughed it up with his hand, until it became soft again. He was getting accustomed to his new shape, but it still felt strange when he touched himself there. He wondered what the doctors could do to give him a working male organ. He had to be able to be changed back. This body was an interesting experience, but nothing more. He looked at Linda. She had not fully awake, but had rolled over to face him. She was naked also, and breathing moved her breasts very provocatively. Joe could feel himself becoming aroused again. You horny dude, he told himself. You can't let up one minute. He thought about it. It was true, it seemed he was much more easily aroused now, and had far quicker recovery, than even when he was a teenager. He wondered, do women all feel like this? If they do, how do they keep their composure the way they seem to. Linda was always great in bed, but never before had she taken the initiative like she did last night. Did his new body turn her on? Was he less intimidating now? Or was she just more uninhibited, now that the risk of pregnancy was nil. The thought of Linda getting pregnant made him consider something else. He loved Linda, and he was sure she loved him too, but he realized that no matter what happened, if he stayed as he was, or submitted to doctors and surgery, or whatever, he would probably never be able to give her a child. He stared at the ceiling. "Hell, I just realized!" he said to himself. "I'm sterile." Then, he reconsidered. "Maybe I'm NOT sterile!" he thought. That was even a bigger problem. Until this minute, he had never really even considered that HE might become pregnant. Was it possible? He certainly looked female, and everything SEEMED to work. Then he realized that he could not get knocked up without having sex with a guy, and he could never do that. He mulled it over. No matter who he considered, he could not picture himself having sex with them. No, pregnancy would not be a problem. "Oh, God," he prayed, "please, just give me my normal body." Joe lay there thinking, and looking at Linda, when he had the urge to pee. "It seems I have to go more often now," he thought. "I must have a smaller bladder too, I guess." He pressed on his abdomen, trying to feel for differences between his male organs and whatever he had now. His stomach was a little flatter than before, and a little softer, but he could not tell any difference, otherwise. "I wonder if I've got female internal organs?" he considered. His testicles were gone. Maybe he had ovaries. He remembered from biology that ovaries were connected to a pear shaped organ, the uterus. "Do I have a uterus?" he wondered. It was at the top of the vagina, he remembered. He had personally explored a few vaginas, and some, he knew, had something inside, which felt sort of like the head of a penis. That, he knew, was the opening to the uterus. He considered probing his vagina to check for a uterus. Although he had already examined his new parts somewhat with his fingers, it was a little uncomfortable to do, and he had not gone in very deeply. He now realized how difficult it was for women just to see their genitalia, much less examine them. Till now, he had not actually seen his own vagina except while standing at a mirror. He could not see much that way, and what was visible, was partially hidden by his pubic hair. He needed a hand mirror, but he did not have one. He got out of bed as quietly as he could. He tiptoed to the bathroom, and closed the door without latching it. He went to the toilet, raised the lid and sat. Soon, he felt relief. He was getting familiar with this difference too. "No real problem as long as you're not dressed," he thought. He finished, and returned to the bedroom. Linda was awake, and watched him walk back to the bed. She smiled at him. He laid down next to her. She moved over to him, and kissed him on the lips. "I heard you in the bathroom," she said. "It must be difficult for you to be like this." "I guess I'm getting used to it a little," Joe replied, "but being a guy definitely has some advantages, especially in the bathroom." He grinned. "You don't miss what you never have," Linda said. She hopped out of bed and scurried to the bathroom. Without shutting the door, she sat and relieved herself too. It was the first time Joe had seen her do that. She quickly finished, and returned to the bedroom. She did not get back in bed, but stood at the end, looking at Joe. "What are your plans today?" she asked. "I'm expecting Jay to call, or I'll call him soon," he said. "He said he has a friend at the police who can help me prove my identity." "What will he do?" Linda asked. "I'm not sure, but I think he'll want to take my fingerprints," Joe said. "I think I'd have a problem if I had an auto accident, or something like that right now." "Do we have to stay here at your apartment?" Linda asked. "I don't see any reason to," Joe said. "Why? What do you want to do?" "I'd like to go over to my house," Linda said. "I have a few things to do there, and if you like, we can swim, or lie at the pool a bit." "Okay," Joe said. "I'll get my swim trunks" "Trunks? You're gonna wear your trunks?" Linda laughed. "Well, no one but me will see you, so you can, if you want." She winked. Joe grinned, and said, "Okay, okay, so I forgot. I'll get a girl's swimsuit." "You don't really need to, Joe," Linda said, seriously. "That blue leotard would be ok, and I probably have a suit that would fit you. I'm sure a two-piece would." "I don't know, Linda," Joe said, "Wearing one of your suits might make me feel strange." "Whatever you want," Linda said. "We can try it," Joe said. "I'll call Jay in a little while, and then we can do whatever we want." Joe got out of bed, and walked into the bathroom. "I'm gonna take a shower," he called, noticing all the underwear hanging from the shower door. A little embarrassed, he removed the dainty things, and took them into the bedroom, and put them on the bed. He walked back to the bathroom, and started the water flowing. He adjusted the water temperature, and got in the shower. He stood under the streaming water, holding his hands over his sensitive breasts. He soaped quickly, and rinsed. The warm water felt good, but he did not want to linger. He finished quickly, turned off the water, and got out of the shower. Taking a towel from the cabinet, he dried off, and walked into the bedroom, where Linda was sitting on the bed, looking at his clothes. "You played racquetball with Jay yesterday," Linda questioned. "Why did you wear clothes like this?" She held up his blue leotard. "What do you mean?" Joe asked. "What should I wear? My regular gym shorts and tee-shirt wouldn't fit me, and I don't think I need my jock strap in my present condition." "What did Jay think of you, in this sexy outfit?" Linda asked jealously. "I guess he was surprised that I looked like this," Joe replied. "He saw me earlier, at the restaurant wearing a skirt, but I don't think he got the full effect of what has happened to me, until he saw me wearing this." "Why did you wear it?" Linda asked. "Were you trying to excite him?" "Excite him? Excite him?" Joe asked, getting confused and irritated. "Hell, I was trying to be as inconspicuous as I could be, considering I woke up that morning with a body of another sex. I wasn't trying to excite him, it never really occurred to me that I might be able to. I went to the store to get some gym clothes, and this is what the lady recommended. I guess I should have worn coveralls or something. Damn it, Linda, give me a break, will you?" "I'm sorry Joe," Linda said. "I guess I'm just a little jealous, and of Jay, no less. Considering how you look now, I'm trying to sort out how I should feel about that." "How you should feel?" Joe asked. "How should I feel, for that matter? I know I look different, like a woman, but I don't want to be treated like one, not by people who know me, at least not yet." Joe went on. "I know our relationship might have to change," he said, "but I don't want it to, unless it has to. I still think of you as my girl, but I realize it may be difficult for you to think of me as your guy, especially when you can share swimsuits with me, and all, but I won't look like this forever. I won't, so don't worry. I'll be your man again. It will just take me some time to sort this out." "Joe, I'm sorry I jumped on you," Linda said. "I know you're doing your best. We'll both have to be understanding, if we're going to get through this." "Let's get dressed, and I'll call Jay," Joe said. He looked at the underwear on the bed. He sorted his from Linda's, then put it in his underwear drawer with the other things he bought yesterday, as well as his men's underwear. He selected pastel blue panties, and a beige bra like the kind he knew Linda wore. He tossed them on the bed beside Linda. She was dressing too, and the bra she was wearing was like his. "Is this stuff okay with you?" Joe said, joking. "Yeah, Joe, it's fine," Linda said, smiling. "I'm sorry." Joe took his panties and slipped them on easily. He was now familiar with the way they fit his hips, and the new sleekness of his crotch. He picked up the bra, and sorted the tangle of straps. When it was arranged, he stuck his arms in the appropriate places and fitted the cups around his breasts. As he was hooking the plastic clasp, he noticed Linda was watching. He looked at her, grinned, and shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I'm doing my best," he said. "This is only the fourth time I've ever put one of these things on." "It's not that, Joe," Linda said, smiling. "I guess I was comparing your boobs with mine. Yours are so firm, and you don't even want them." "If I could give them to you, I would," Joe replied. "I know they look okay. I still have a male brain, you know, but it just ain't the same when they're mine." He grinned, stuck his chest out, and shook it suggestively. Linda wore the clothes she came with, but Joe did not know what he should wear. He did not want to wear a dress, and the only thing that he could think of was the jumpsuit, or maybe try some of his men's clothes that might be made to work. "What do you think I should wear?" he asked Linda. "I don't have anything but this jumpsuit, and some dresses, or, maybe I can try some of my blue jeans, but they're way too big for me now." "Wear the jumpsuit," Linda said. "I'll help you find something later." Joe got the jumpsuit, and stepped into it. It was his favorite thing to wear now, it did not emphasize his new shape, but it did look attractive. He zipped up the front, and smoothed out the sides. Covering up his new body helped him forget his problems, just a little bit. As Linda finished dressing, Joe lay on the unmade bed, and picked up the phone. He punched the auto-dialer for Jay's house. He waited while it rang, for about a minute. He then hung up, and selected the number for Jay's office. Jay himself answered, almost immediately. "Good morning Jay, Joe here," Joe said. "Have you found anything?" "Hi Joe. Yeah, I've got some news," Joe responded. "I just got off the phone with a friend of mine, his name's Dan McGuire. He works in the coroner's office, at the hospital. He is familiar with proving identification, usually on unknown murder victims, but he said he could work on living persons too as a favor to me." "The coroner's office?" Joe said. "I hope he don't want to hang a tag on my toe." Joe laughed. "No problem there, Joe," Jay said, "but you can go over there any time you want, even today, between nine and five." "Okay," Joe said, "I'll run over right now." He glanced at the bedside clock. It said ten minutes after ten. "Let me know what happens," Jay responded, "and what did Linda say when you told her?" "Linda is understanding," Joe said, watching Linda as she buttoned her blouse. "She's gonna help me with the things you can't. She's with me now." "Well, that's great Joe," Jay said. "I'm glad you're getting by. Be sure you call me with whatever Dan finds." "Thanks, Jay," Joe said. "I'll let you know as soon as I find anything out. See you later." "Later, Joe," Jay said, and hung up. Joe looked at Linda. "I need to go to the coroner's office for a little while," he said. "The coroner? What can he do?" Linda asked. "It's not the coroner," Joe answered. "It's one of Jay's friends who can help me prove my identity. I don't actually know what I'll have to do, but I can't prove that I'm me with this body." He grinned, and then frowned. "I'll be a witness for you, if that will help," Linda volunteered. "I'll see what problems I'll have soon," Joe replied. "Let's get going." "I'm ready," Linda said, picking up her purse. Joe felt his pockets. He had money, identification, charge cards, and his keys, in the pockets of his jumpsuit. He took the small handbag anyway, but felt silly carrying it. He took it because he thought it would look more appropriate if he did. Linda watched him, and almost started belly laughing. "Joe, no matter what sex your body is, you look like a guy trying to look like a woman," she said. "Try to be more calm, and slow down a little." "Right," Joe said. "If you think this is easy, try dressing like a guy today. I'll be YOUR girlfriend." "No deal," Linda said. "I couldn't act, or look like a man, even if I had something happen to me like whatever happened to you." "You might be amazed what you do when you don't have a choice," Joe replied. They left Joe's apartment, and walked to his RX-7. Joe unlocked the door on his side, got in, and unlocked the door for Linda. She got in, and they belted in, and Joe started the engine. "I never realized how these seat belts could pinch a boob until now," Joe said as he arraigned his shoulder belt. They drove directly to the hospital. Joe was impatient to find out what Jay's friend would want him to do. As they drove into the lot and parked, Linda walked behind him as he walked onto the main entrance. They looked at the board in the entrance to find the coroner's office. It said Room 23, the basement. They went to the elevator, and selected the down button. When they reached Room 23, Joe walked in. Nobody was in the office, but there was a door in the back. Joe walked through the office, and stuck his head through the open door. He saw a guy sitting at a desk, filling out forms. "Hi, I'm Joe Bates," he said. "Would you be Mr. Mcguire?" "Good morning, Joe," the man said. "Jay told me you would probably be stopping by today. Please call me Dan." Linda peeked through the door. Joe and Dan both looked at her. "This is my girl... uh... my friend Linda Mitchell," Joe said. "Linda, this is Dan Mcguire, Jay's friend." "Glad to meet you too, Linda," Dan said. "Jay told me a little about you, Joe, but I must have misunderstood. I thought he said you were a man." "Dan, until yesterday morning, I WAS a man," Joe said, a little irritation showing. "Linda is my fiance. I don't yet understand what's happened, but when I woke up yesterday morning, I seem to have undergone some kind of change. I... uh... I seem to have become female. Near as I can tell, I've turned into a girl." "You were a man?" Dan asked incredulously. "Have you been taking hormones? How extensive are the changes? Do you... uh... err... Do you have male genitalia?" "No, I wasn't, and no, I don't, not anymore," Joe answered. "I was about five-eleven, but I must be about five-seven or eight now." He zipped the jumpsuit down a little so that Dan could see his bra-covered breasts. "It seems I've got these now too. I think I've got a real problem." "Amazing," said Dan. "I've never seen anything like this." "Can you help me?" Joe asked. "Can you prove that I'm still the same person?" Joe was almost pleading with him. "Joe, if your body is the same, I can prove it," Dan said in a matter of fact way. "Jay said you were in the Air Force?" "Yeah, I was in for more than eight years," Joe said. "I had a Secret security clearance too." "Well then, we'll just take your prints, and a blood sample, and that should be enough to do it, as long as you still have the same body. I never heard of anybody changing bodies, but then I never heard of your situation either," Dan said, shaking his head. Dan got out a small ink roller and a card with little squares on it. He rolled some ink on a little pad. "Please come over here, Joe," he said. Joe went to him, and he held out his small hand. Dan took it, and in turn rolled each finger on the ink, and then on the card, in the appropriate square. When he was done, he gave Joe a tube of hand cleaner, and a roll of paper towels. "Next, we go up to the examining room," Dan said. "I can't draw blood here." Joe cleaned off his fingers, and they all went up the elevator. They followed Dan into a regular examining room. Dan asked Joe to take a seat. He walked out of the room, and returned in a minute with a nurse. He quickly introduced her, and from a cabinet she took a syringe and a small test tube. "Please roll up that sleeve, Miss," the nurse said. Joe pulled the sleeve up. He was amazed at how easy it was, now that he had such small muscles in his upper arm. The nurse wrapped a length of surgical tubing around his arm, above his elbow, and started feeling for a vein. She quickly found one, and deftly stuck the needle in. The syringe filled with his blood quickly. She pulled the needle out, and gave Joe a small cotton ball to hold over the wound. Dan gave her a form, already filled out, and the nurse left the room with the tube of Joe's blood. "There, that's done," Dan said. "I should have the results by Monday at noon. I'll send for your military records, and I should have them about the same time. Call me Monday afternoon. Better yet, give me your number, and I'll call you as soon as I have some news." Joe was holding his arm crooked, with the cotton ball soaking up the small amount of blood which oozed out. He shook Dan's hand. "Thanks a lot, Dan," he said. "I don't know what I would do without help from people like you." "Well, don't worry, Joe," Dan replied. "Whatever your problem is, I'm sure we can help you out." "I hope you're right," Joe said, less sure about it. "Nice meeting you too, Linda," Dan went on. "Help this guy through this, will you?" "I will," Linda said. "He's doing pretty good, so far." "He certainly is," Dan said, lightly hitting Joe on his shoulder. Joe and Linda walked out of the office, and went back up the elevator. As they went through the hospital lobby, they saw a woman who was checking in. She was obviously very pregnant. Joe looked at the woman, and then looked at Linda. She saw him staring at her. "What will happen to us?" Joe asked. "You know, whatever they do for me, I doubt I will ever be able to father children. Hell, I don't know what they can do for me, assuming they can do anything." "Joe, whatever happens or whatever doesn't happen, I'll be with you," Linda reassured him. "Maybe we won't have kids together, but let's cross those bridges when we get there." They went out to the parking lot, and get in Joe's car. Joe looked at Linda. "Where to now?" he asked. "Are you getting hungry?" "Yeah, I sure am," Linda replied. "Let's go to the mall, and look for some more casual clothes for you. Maybe some shorts and tops. We can get a quick bite there." "Okay," Joe said. "It seems everywhere I go, I have to get clothes first." "Well, I wish I could get new clothes every time I went out, you're kinda lucky actually," Linda teased. "Right. I'm with my girlfriend going to the mall, to buy myself women's clothes, because it seems I woke up one morning with a new body. Yeah, I guess I'm real lucky all right," Joe lamented. "It could certainly be worse, Joe," Linda scolded. "You're healthy, and you don't know, there might be a simple answer to your problem." "Well, if there is, I sure will have a bunch of useless clothes, won't I?" Joe returned. "Don't ruin them, I think they'll fit me," Linda teased, laughing. "I hope I can turn them over to you, real soon," Joe said. They pulled into the mall. Joe parked by Sears, as usual. They went inside. It was hot outside and very cool in the mall. They walked through the women's lingerie section. By instinct, or whatever, Linda stopped by one of the tables, which was now covered with colorful panties, all on sale, thirty percent off. She rummaged through the things, sometimes pulling a pair out of the pile, seemingly at random. "Now is the time to buy these things," she told Joe. "You can save a bundle when they're on sale like this." "Great," Joe said, grinning a sarcastic grin. "I foolishly went out and bought mine yesterday, and NOW they're on sale!" Linda looked at Joe, and realized that he was a little uncomfortable in the lingerie section with her. Maybe he looked like a woman, but he was standing there with the somewhat interested, but embarrassed look most men have when they are in the women's section with their wives, or girlfriends. "Lighten up, Joe," Linda tried to reassure him. "You don't look at all out of place here, you know." "Well, that makes me feel a LOT better," Joe said somewhat sarcastically. "Now I look right at home, digging through the panty pile at Sears." "Quit your complaining, Joe," Linda admonished. "If your problem can be corrected, I will help you with it. If it can't, and you have to stay like you are now, I'll help you with that too. Just don't bite the hand that's feeding you." Linda was smiling, but serious. "I'm sorry," Joe said. "I just get so frustrated with this whole thing sometimes." "I think you are doing great, Joe," Linda said. "Now, how many pairs of underwear do you have?" "I don't know," Joe replied. "I guess I bought... let's see... one... two... three... Yeah, I think I have five. Three sort of like this, and two like these." Joe pointed at styles in the pile as he talked. "Well, you might have enough then," said Linda, "but it wouldn't hurt to get a few more. If you suddenly don't need them anymore, I think they might fit me. You do seem to have smaller hips, though." "Do you know what size you wear?" she asked. "I think the ones I have on are size five," Joe replied. "Five, huh. You're smaller than me," Linda said. "I wear a six." "Well, they're not tight on me," Joe said, holding his arms away from his hips as if to show Linda. "Okay, Okay, you don't have to rub it in, Joe. You have smaller hips than I do," Linda said. "Yeah, and firmer breasts, too," he said, grinning and sticking his chest out as far as he could. "See how they look like when you've had them almost twenty years, you teeny bopper," Linda reminded him. "Touche," Joe said. Linda selected a few panties for herself, and helped Joe to decide on which he would take. She suggested he get some stretch cotton type which had a narrow "V" front, with leg openings that went high up on his hip. He was curious how they would look on him, so he took them. Linda selected black, and light blue; he did not have a preference, so he agreed. They took their selections to the cashier, and paid for them with Linda's charge card. Linda then took Joe to Dillard's, to look for shorts and tops. "I think you would look good in a tank top," Linda said. "What do you think, Joe?" "I don't know," Joe replied. "Isn't a tank top a little breezy? Kind of open on the sides?" "No, you'd look great in one," Linda went on. "I'll show you." She went through the racks with the speed and confidence that showed that she liked shopping for clothes, and did it, a lot. Joe, who was out of his league shopping with her, decided to watch, in amazement. Linda quickly selected a light cotton top, with little hot air balloons across the front. "It was kind of cute," Joe thought. "Here, this is just the thing for a pilot, Joe," Linda said. "I'll bet you would look good in this." She was serious. "Gee, Linda, I don't know if I'm ready for something this cute," Joe said, but he took the top from Linda, and held it in front of himself. "Joe, you have to wear something other than that jumpsuit all the time," Linda said. "Something like this is just right for you... the way you look now." "You don't have to remind me," Joe said. "Okay, I'll take it." "No, Joe. You have to try it on first," Linda said. "Never buy clothes like this without trying them on first. It's part of the fun." "Fun?" Joe asked. "I NEVER thought trying on clothes was fun." "Well, it is, and it's time you found out," Linda insisted. "Darn it, Joe, you look like an attractive woman, if you like it or not. You might as well try to enjoy it while it lasts." Linda took the top and walked to the dressing rooms. Joe followed, still feeling like an outsider in this area. They entered the small closet sized booth, and Linda turned to Joe. "Take that off, and try this," she said. "I know you'll like it." Joe unzipped his jumpsuit, and pulled it off his shoulders. He left it around his waist. Linda gave him the top, and he pulled it over his head. The cloth was so light. He still was not used the lighter construction of women's clothes. The fabric seemed to float on his shoulders. He looked down at his chest. He now had three hot air balloons aloft over the hills of his breasts. He stood up straight and put his arms up. He let go of the jump suit, and it fell to his knees. "Take the jumpsuit off," Linda insisted. "I'll find some shorts that will go great with that top." She went back out into the store, and Joe sat and tried to pull the jumpsuit from over his Reeboks. He decided to take his shoes off, since he figured he could not get the shorts Linda would soon be bringing back over them, anyway. He stood there, in the top with the balloons, his light blue panties showing out the bottom, and his white sweat socks with little blue Reebok logos on them. He raised his arms again, looking down at the large armhole openings on the little top. He just knew people could see the sides of his bra through the large openings. That did not seem to bother REAL women, and before, he had always thought the little peek at their undies was kinda sexy. Now that it was his undies hanging out, he felt like he was half naked. He adjusted the top, pulling the little thing up, down, back, and forth. It did not make any difference. It always seemed like he was hanging out. He was still worrying about it when Linda returned with two pairs of shorts, one white, the other blue. They went to just above his knee. "Try these on, Joe," Linda ordered, handing him the white pair. He opened the zipper, and stepped into them. They were a little baggy. He buttoned the button at the waist, and pulled the zipper up. They were loose at the waist too. Just a little. "I guess they're okay," Joe said, smoothing them down, and arraigning the top, trying to keep his boobs from popping out the armholes, or so it seemed to him. "No, they're too big," Linda insisted. "I bought the size that should fit me, but you're a size smaller, darn it, and yet you're still a little taller than me too." "Isn't this top a little loose too?" Joe asked, hoping that she would agree. "I seem to be hanging out at the sides." Linda stood back a little, and looked at him real close. "No, the top is just right," she decided. "What do you mean, you're hanging out?" "Just look at this," Joe explained. "You can see my underwear through the armholes, can't you?" "No, it fits just right," Linda said again. "Maybe it just seems like you're hanging out because you've never worn anything like this before. Actually, you look great in it, Joe." Before he could protest any more, Linda took the blue shorts back out, looking for a size smaller. Joe decided to remove the white shorts. As he bent over to pull them off his feet, he caught himself looking down the neck of the little top, sneaking a peek at his own breasts. It was weird. They just did not seem like they attached to him, and he felt wicked staring at them. He took a long look, and then stood up, grinning. He rubbed his chest through the light top, and could feel the slick nylon of the seamless cups. "I guess I'm still not used to having these things after all," he thought. Just then Linda returned. The big grin on his face made her curious. "Just what is so funny?" she asked. "Oh, nothing," Joe answered. What could he say? He was just copping a feel of his own boobs. "Nothing at all." "Well then, try these on," Linda said, handing him some more white shorts, and holding another blue pair. Joe put them on. They were much more snug fitting. Not tight, but they fit his hips and buttocks in a fitted way that looked just right. Joe buttoned up, and pulled the zipper. He felt his buttocks. "These are sure snug," he declared. Linda stood back again, and gave him the critical eye. "They're perfect!" she declared. "Here, try these on." She gave him the light blue shorts and went back out. Joe was removing the shorts when Linda came back. "Leave those on and come along with me," she ordered. In his socks, Joe followed politely along behind. They went to the racks of tops again. Linda started looking for another. "If you see something you like, let me know," she said. "I want you to get what you like." "Oh, really?" Joe asked, grinning. "Are you starting a new policy, all of a sudden?" Linda looked at him, and saw he was grinning, almost laughing out loud. "What's going on with you anyway?" she asked. "Is something funny going on that I don't get?" "No, I'm just in awe of the seriousness with which shopping seems to envelop you," Joe replied. "I guess I've never shopped with a woman, for women's things before. It's an art form for you, isn't it?" he laughed. "Okay, okay, I'll try to lighten up a little," Linda said. "I guess women do take clothes more seriously than most men. I never thought about it much before." Together they selected another top for Joe. A light blouse, tailored more like a man's shirt in off-white, with little trees printed all over it. Joe liked it when he tried it on, but had a little trouble with the buttons, which were the opposite of a man's shirt. They paid for the things, left the mall, and went outside, to Joe's car. "Where to now?" Joe asked. "We've got the whole day." "Let's go to my place," Linda said. "I think a few hours at the pool would feel pretty good right now." "Rats!" Joe said. "I forgot the swimsuit. We have to go back in." "No, Joe. I think I have a couple that will fit you," Linda declared. "I know they're a little tight for me, at least on the bottom." Joe looked at her. She looked at him. They both grinned.