Chapter 4

	I was going to have to have a long talk with Billie De Leon.
Billie was going to be the ambassador and welcome lady to a totally new
world for a multitude of people.  Billie would have to become female in
attitude and practice.  Playing Half and Half wouldn't work.  Billie's male
clothing would have to go.  Billie would have to wear a bra all the time.
She was now a full "C" size and they were a little distracting.  It had
been 6 months since the drug had started.  The outward appearance was
complete.  The genitals were not completely formed but there was no sign of
the old male equipment.  The process was totally amazing.
	Up until now, the only side effects noted were those stated.
Billie was becoming female.  But there was one side effect that was missed
until Billie was looking in a mirror practicing the makeup.  Her eyes had
changed color.  She did not know what was going on and Called me in to
look.  I saw nothing unusual with her eyes and told her so.  But they had
changed color.  We did not know why.
	Billie finally relented and agreed to do right.  Billie still was a
small person.  She was 5' 6" and only 125 lb.  That meant that she would
never be mistaken as a male.  The figure she had at this point was amazing
also.  The rear end and hips were now fully developed.  I wanted to take
X-rays to see if the skeleton had changed to.  That would be almost to much
to believe.  The X-rays revealed that no basic change to the skeleton had
occurred.  That would be the only way to figure out who was who in the
program.  I still didn't have a name for the program or the drug.  Then it
occurred to me that the drug caused a genetic mutation.  G-E for genetic
and M for mutation.  The mutation is drug induced so add D I GE M .  It
sounded good and it would work until something else came up.  Now for the
drug.  This was the 5th variation of the concoction from New Orleans.
NOL-5 would be a good temporary name.
	Billie still didn't quite know how to act like a lady.  I would
have to get on her about running around my house and the office with no bra
and skimpy shorts.  It was too much attention and frankly it was starting
to embarrass me.
	"Look Billie, you got to stop doing this."
	"OOPS, sorry Doc.  I forgot."
	"What are you going to do if Caroline comes by and you look like
that.  It puts me in a very bad light."  Billy went and put on a bra and
blouse and some decent pants.
	"You know, Doc, I didn't really feel very comfortable with this
added weight on my chest.  I didn't know what women had to put up with just
to be decent."
	"Yes Billie, women have a little more to put up with than men."
	"Well Doc, I'm going to help out.  I may forget every once and a
while, but I'll try."
	"That is good enough for me Billie."
	Continued blood work on Billie showed that there was absolutely no
sigh of any cancer or abnormalities except for the eye color change.
Billie was now completely female with the exception of a vagina, and that
was developing. Billie continued to experiment with makeup and hair and
clothes.  It looked like she was really getting into it.  Mary had gone
back to New Orleans and was now actively looking for a new candidate for
the program.  The DIGEM cancer program had started.  The absolutely
convincing results from Billie's record had given the FDA enough data to
allow continued human experimentation.  I could expand the program.  But
the FDA wanted to come to Arkansas and look over my facility.  Every alarm
in my head went off when the request was made.  I had absolutely no choice
but to accept it because of the new allowance for continued human
experimentation.  It would take a week to get ready.  I only had 2 days.
This would be not much fun.
	I had no idea what to expect from the FDA committee of researchers.
So Billie would have to probably pose for them.
	"Billie, are you ready for a bunch of old men looking you over like
a piece of meat?"
	"UH, no, but if its necessary for the program, I'll do it."
	"OK then.  What are you going to wear?"
	"I got a good idea.  I got this black corset and some nice hosiery
and panties.  If I'm going to be ogled and looked over like a piece of meat
then I'm going to give them a good show.  Is that OK with you?"  "Yes.
Maybe it will loosen them up some."
	"What about heels?"
	"OK Billie, but don't get to high.  You will probably be in them
all day."
	"OK then, three inch is what I will wear."
	"What are you going to wear outside?"
	"Basic Black and conservative" "If you are going to have fun, then
wear something low cut also."
	"Yea, all right!  This ought to freak them out totally.  Hey Doc,
you could wear that outfit I saw you in down there in New Orleans."
	"Yea sure, you want to keep getting the NOL-5 don't you?"
	"Yea, sorry.  Is that what you are calling the drug now?"
	"Yes and the program name, for lack of a better one is DIGEM.  That
is for Drug Induced Genetic Mutation."
	"Wow that is a mouth full.  It works for me."
	 The FDA panel were due in Arkansas Monday morning.
	It was Monday night and it had been a long day.  Billie had
performed wonderfully.  She had been poked and ogled all day.  It was
obvious where they were leading.  The cancer research lobby was a very
powerful group and a complete cure was going to jeopardize a lot of money
for research.  I had expected this response.  The medical report had been
given to the FDA representatives.  It was indisputable.  Billie's response
to the drug and mutation was conclusive.  The primate research was also too
much to question.  They did try to play word games.  But after the side
affects of the drug and the absolute change was reported, the doctors
agreed that it was best to allow only terminal patients on the drug.  The
research community was safe for the moment.  They had all kinds of
questions about the patients and how they would be consoled for the sex
change.  I explained that the prospective patient would be told exactly
what to expect and a film would be prepared and living proof would be
provided in the form of Billie De Leon.  Billie even did a closed door
strip tease.  The corset and stockings and panties did a big number on
them.  One of the old Doctors even came down and fondled the beautiful set
of "C's" Billie was showing off.  They believed the results.  At a profound
moment, one doctor said that this would be the beginning of a brave new
world.  That was a mouthful..................(the statement, not Billie).
	Little Rock had been mildly curious about what was going on at the
clinic that I operated.  There were a lot of curiosity calls about the
services offered at the clinic.  No mention of the cancer research was ever
mentioned.  But after the trip by the FDA to Arkansas, the news media was
all over me.  That same reporter was back.  I could no longer put off the
man.  It was time to go mildly public.  Now was the time where I would find
out how the community would react to all this stuff.  The local TV news
report went nation wide.  The next morning, the phone was ringing with
people who wanted to know about the program.  The news reporter had done a
good job on what the drug was and how it worked.  They also got the sex
problem right for a change.  The news report was a little more sensational
that I would have liked, but that was to be expected.  The print news was
all over me to do interviews and pictures and interviews of Billie.
	"Billie, do you want to be a celebrity?"
	"No Doc, I don't."
	"OK then, No interviews or pictures.  Also, check out across the
street and down the road before you go out.  They may be taking pictures
across the street or in a public place.  Its against the law to take your
picture without your permission.  Even the tabloids can't publish it
without your permission.  They would have too much legal exposure.  I will
also put out in the interviews I do that no one on the program wants their
picture taken and that would be a violation of their legal rights.  That
should do it."
	I had started to accept phone calls from doctors only.  If I was to
get referrals, then it would have to be from other doctors.  90 % of the
calls was information on the research.  But the other 10 was a referral
request.  The rules were simple.  3 months to live.  Kemo had to have
failed in elimination of the cancer.  Radiation had to have also failed. I
would have to interview each prospective patient and decide who would be
good candidates for the drug.  The big one that was insisted upon was that
the people who were going to be on the program would have to agree to help
others coming into the program when the time came. Every one would sign an
agreement which would bind them to a support program for a period of a
year.  After all, the first group of people were going to be the pioneers
of a brave new world.  It was a small price to pay for their lives.  This
also meant a move to Little Rock.  Doc could comfortably house 5 people in
the unused areas of the clinic upstairs.  This was a big house.  So with a
little work and a visit to the local furniture store, I was outfitted with
furniture and bedding for 5 people.  So now it was time to do some
interviews.
	I made the phone call.  The first appointment was for Monday
morning at 9 am.  I would see 1 patient prospect every hour.  Billie would
be introduced as executive assistant for the program and nothing else.  It
was unusual for someone else to be in the room while the doctor was talking
to them.  So it had to be by permission.  I figured if they were going to
be a good candidate, they would not mind.  Billie was really appreciative
of the role I had given her.  The way I had figured it, It was only fair.
Billie would dress like a nurse for show.  It would help in the interview.
	"Billie, first, we have to establish who will make the best
transition.  We don't need suicides a year after they start the program.
We need fighters.  We need younger patients first.  They can make the
transition easier.  We need both men and women.  I would like to have 3
women and 2 men.  I would need to talk to the spouse of any of the married
prospects before acceptance.  I think it is only reasonable for them to
know what to expect and approve."
	"I got the idea Doc.  I know just what to do." Billie said with a
smile.  "And I can just imagine how much fun this is going to be.  Just
look what you went through with me."
	"Yea, don't remind me."
	The community response had been favorable.  I was known around town
and every one seemed to be supportive of the program.  After all, it was
necessary to save the persons life.  Cancer cure first.  The sex change was
secondary.  At least that is what the I hoped for.  Time would tell.  Then
I remembered a famous doctor in Trinidad who did sex change operations.
The community was very supportive of him because it benefited the community
with added business and better health care.  I hoped that it would be the
case here.
	Monday morning at 8 am, I arrived and started to get ready.  Billie
had come with me and was getting ready.  A questionnaire had been prepared
by Billie to see how the prospects would react to sexual harassment and
social status changes.  We also expected some of the prospects to not
believe the outcome of using the NOL-5 drug.  The selection process would
be long and careful.
	9 am came.  There seemed to be a lot of people in the lobby.
Claire and Margaret reported that several of the appointments were early.
That was reasonable.  The first interview was with a 25 year old female who
had breast cancer.  It had gone undetected for too long and was now in the
lymph gland systems of her body.  Her doctor had given her several
treatment variations.  None were working.  Kate Johnson was her name.  Kate
was not poor.  She was a corporate executive for an advertising agency.
But she didn't look real good at first glance.  She had been on medical
leave from her job for 6 months.
	"Kate, I'm Dr. Gurber.  This is my assistant Billie.  We are here
to evaluate how compatible you are with our program.  Have you filled out
the questionnaire?"
	"That paper I was given in the lobby?"
	"Yes."
	"I've been looking at it.  Are you serious about me becoming a
man?"
	"Yes, very serious.  That is one of the side affects which we think
is responsible for the cancer regression.  The DNA X-X and X-Y codes are
altered as part of the process by which the cancer is destroyed.  We need
to ask a few questions.  How long were you given to live?"
	"Your a sensitive person aren't you.  Well my doctor said 2 months
would be the best I could expect.  He had heard of your program and thought
I might look into this.  So here I am.  I had thought about going to
Mexico, but I trust the doctor back home."
	"That is good.  You will need to trust us.  Do you have any hair
loss?"
	"Yes, The Kemo was pretty bad."  She pulled off the wig she was
wearing.  She was totally bald.
	"Well, we understand how you might feel about the side affects of
treatment.  Are you married, single, or divorced?"
	"Divorced.  My carrier came first."
	"Are your parents still alive?"
	"Yes."
	"How do you think they would feel about you changing sex?"
	"I think they would understand.  I don't think I have too much of a
choice."
	"How do you think your company people will react to this?"
	"That is a big unknown.  I'm practical.  I know I will never be one
of the "boys".  But I think I will be an asset to them alive.  I can be
transferred to another part of the company and move to somewhere else."
	"OK, do you understand the condition of helping with other patients
after you've completed your initial treatment and transition."
	"How long is the contract?"  "A year."
	"What does this include?"
	"You will be assigned someone similar to yourself and you will
watch over their mental condition and help with their assimilation back
into society.  We require that you live here in Little Rock for the year.
Then you can go back to your new life."
	"How long does it take to change."
	"If accepted, you will be the first female patient.  We don't know
how long it will take.  It took the first male patient 6 months to reach 80
percent.  We think it might take a female longer."
	"I understand that you have a male who became female on this drug.
Who is this person and can I see him?"
	"Actually, he's now she and Billie, you take over."
	Billie spoke up "I was the first human patient to go through
transition.  I now work for the Doctor as his executive assistant.  I use
to be an exec. assistant for a corporate VP"
	"Can I see?"
	"What do you want to see?"
	"Are you now completely female?"
	"Yes."
	"I wasn't prepared for a show this soon Doc."
	"OK, Billie.  We won't go that far right now.  Kate, take my word
for it.  It is complete and real.  Remember that this is an experimental
program.  There are a lot of unanswered questions.  I feel that you will
live a prolonged live with a reasonable life style."
	"Yes, I accept.  What do I have to do?"
	"How soon can you move in to the newly renovated DIGEM Hilton?"
	"What did you call it?"
	"Drug induced Genetic Mutation."
	"OK, I came packed."
	"Billie will show you the living quarters.  I have a dorm style
setup.  There is a reasonable amount of privacy.  We will allow you
complete freedom to wonder around the facility and the lab as much as you
are physically able.  Then tomorrow, we will start.  There are documents to
sign.  Releases and contracts."
	"I understand", Kate said.
	"OK, you are now the second person to be put on the program."
	"Wow, gee whiz.  This is going to be a fun place".
	"And we are going to keep it that way.  We will not be control
freaks around here. It will be a family environment with a lot of help from
each other.  You may have to help the men who are going through this too.
They are the ones who will have the most trouble.  You, as a female, will
not have the social problems that a man to woman will."
	"Just so long as these people aren't perverts."
	"Don't worry, they will be in the same condition as you and when
the drug starts to affect them, they wont care too much about you
sexually."
	"Then its done.  I'll be up to see you later."
	"Great Doc."
	Billie came back down and reported Kate's reaction to the
"Quarters" upstairs.
	"Doc, I've seen the type before.  She is used to better."
	"Well we aren't.  She will do just fine."
	"Did she sign the limited power of attorney".
	"She read it closely.  But, yes she did."
	"Good.  That helps us out allot."
	There were several patients who had just been sent to see me
without being informed of what the program was.  It was obvious as to who
they were very quickly.  The next two people were not very receptive of
being turned into women.  Both men were family types and had some other
recourses in treatment.  So they opted to try other things before getting
drastic.
	"Who is next?"
	"Larry Powell."
	"Go get him."  Larry was in a wheel chair.  He was in very poor
health.  The paperwork showed a diagnosis of lung cancer.  Asbestos had
caused the problem.  He had 2 to 3 months.  He was 6' tall and thin.  At
one time, he was a very physical person.
	"Hello Larry, I'm Dr. Gurber and this is my assistant Billie.  We
need to evaluate you and your tolerance to this program.  You do understand
that you will become a woman."
	"Uh, that is what my doctor said.  What choice do I have?"
	"That is up to you.  Do you think you can function as a female?"
	"Doc, I have no idea.  How has the other people reacted to all
this?"
	"That will come later.  First, are you single or divorced?"
	"Believe it or not I am single.  Never married."
	"OK, what about work?"
	"I don't know about that either.  I'll come to that when the time
comes."
	"What kind of work do you do?"
	"I do custom engineering of computers and hardware for industrial
applications.  I mostly work in an office with a bunch of women draftsmen
and secretaries."
	"Can you go back to your job as a woman?"
	"I think so.  After all, when they found out I was terminal, they
offered all the help I needed.  They even continued the insurance."
	"Sounds like you were a valuable employee of that company."
	"Yea, from what I hear, its taking 3 people to replace me."
	"Have you read the paperwork?"
	"Not all the way through, but I skimmed it well enough to know
about the year agreement to help others in the program.  I can deal with
it."
	"Good."
	"I also noticed the provision that I had to move here and live here
for the year.  I can deal with that too.  I came mostly ready.  I can have
someone ship my belongings here if necessary."
	"OK".
	"By the way, can I meet the person who already has been on the
program?"
	"OK, Billie here is the first to go on the drug."
	"Holy mackerel!"  "Billy wasn't ready to do a show for you but
later we will show you what we mean by changing into a woman."
	"I was worried that I would look like a freak.  But its obvious
that the change is convincing.  Someone will have to show me how to live
like a female?"
	"Don't worry about that.  You will be living with people who are
going through the same things you are going through and the environment
will help.  There will be 3 female to male patients and 2 male to female
patients.  I figure you can teach each other."
	"OK Doc, it sounds good to me."  I thought to himself, 2 down and 3
to go.
	Larry went upstairs with Billy to get settled in.  Kate was resting
in the female side of the residence.  They were introduced and left to
talk.  This is why I had set this up this way.  The interaction and support
would be invaluable.  They would teach each other to be the new woman or
man they needed to be.
	It was lunch time.  Both of us needed a break.  So we slipped off
and went to the local restaurant and coffee shop.
	"It's amazing how people have reacted to the change of sex, Doc."
	"Yes, I have noticed that the people best suited for the drug are
the ones that don't mind.  They seem willing to fight for life.  I think
they know that this is there last hope."
	"Allen, what are you going to do if you find a 6th or 7th patient
that really fits the profile?"  "I really don't want to think about it too
much.  I can't cure everyone.  I don't want to play God here.  I can only
have 5 patients.  It's not me, its the Feds."
	"You have to face the possibility that one of these people is going
to pull your heart string and get you choked up inside."
	"That is a personal fear that I have to deal with.  If I don't
accept them, they will die.  But if I follow the rules, then I can help
millions of people who need it.  I can't risk it.  I don't want to play
God."
	Yes, lunch was rocky that day.  I had the toughest decision of my
life in the next couple of hours.  Who would live and who would die?  I was
a doctor.  I wanted to and had the means to help.  But if I broke the law,
then there would not be a program.  They came back to a full lobby.  It
didn't help my attitude at all.  This was going to be hell.
	"Hey, Billie."
	"Yes, Allen?"
	"Can you go and put on the special?"
	"I would have to change from the nurses outfit."
	"Do you have something appropriate for a little demo?  It would
help if we could show some of these people what to expect."
	"I know just what to do.  Be back in 15 minutes."
	Frank would be the next person interviewed.  He came with his wife,
Helen.  Both were very nervous.  It was so thick that I had to do
something.  Frank had filled out the questionnaire and had his medical
records.  Frank was 45 and chemical plant worker.  3M had treated him well.
But an exposure to something obnoxious had given him a host of problems
including liver cancer.  He had indicated that he did not drink
excessively, so it was time for the personal part of the interview.
	"Frank, I'm Doc Gurber.  I run this experimental program.  This is
Billie. She is my executive assistant.  You do understand that you will be
participating in a new experimental drug program which has serious side
effects?"
	"Yes, I do.  The people at the hospital told me that I would change
sex or something.  Doc, is that true?"
	"Unfortunately, Yes.  But I ask you, Would you want to live and
have a chance or let the cancer beat you?"
	"Doc, I'm here, am I not?"
	"OK, question time.  What do you want to know?"
	"Doc, will I become some kind of freak or really become a girl?"
	"The change is very convincing.  I will show you some of the
results later."  Helen was sitting to the side and being very quiet.
	"How do you feel about this, Helen."
	"I want him to live.  If this is the only way, then so be it.  I
don't know how to feel about being married to a woman, but I'm gonna give
it my best."
	"Helen, he will be the same person, but the body will be different.
You will have to help him a lot.  This will not be easy for either of you.
But he will have a chance at a long life with this drug.  No more cancer.
If a new one starts, the drug will stop it too.  Now for both of you, we
have a support program where there will be 24 hour a day help with any
problem you might have.  We will ask no money of you.  We will use what
insurance you have and find other ways to pay the bills.  We are very
creative in the ways we finance things here.  We do require that Frank live
in the here for 1 year.  You, Helen, can live there too if you wish.  But
Frank has to.  We have to monitor his progress on a daily basis.  We can
alter this later. Before you ask, the personality will not change.  It will
be the same person.  Just a new body.  That is going to be a problem.
Society will not understand.  So he will have to be retrained socially.
That is why we need him to stay here for a year with us.  It would be of
great help if you were there to help. Now the thing to remember is that we
do not limit his movements or tell him what to do.  His time will be his
own.  There will be a general sharing of household chores and everyday
things.  But very few rules.  Depending upon how you progress is how we
will approach the dress code.  If it is no longer possible to hide the
changes in your body, then we will start requiring you to dress and act
accordingly.  Frank, that means that if you develop a large chest, then you
will have to dress female.  Now there are ways to approach this.  Your wife
can help.  Now do you have any other questions?"
	"I would like to see the person who has been on the program and
changed.  I want to know if its real or a freak show.  I like everything
else.  I can live in a dorm and do the year.  But I gotta know."  Doc
turned around and looked at Billie.
	"Frank, this person who you are looking at was once a man.  The
only thing that has been done is the administration of the drug.
Absolutely no surgery."  Frank looked at Billie in total wonder.
	He turned to Helen and just said "Its true then."
	"Do you want me to do this?"  Helen was looking off in space then
turned and said to Frank,
	"It doesn't matter.  We have no choice.  Its either this or I lose
you.  I had rather have you this way than no way."  Doc sat there and
waited.
	"OK Doc.  I'll do it."
	"Billie will take you both up to see the facilities.  You can make
arrangements to get your personal belongings here next week.  I would like
Frank to stay tonight and let us start the blood work."
	"We packed a bag."
	"Good.  Helen, there is ample space upstairs.  I did set up a
private room for a married couple.  You both can use the room when you both
are here."
	"Thanks Doc."
	When Billie came back, I asked her, "How did they like upstairs."
"They liked it. They got to meet the others."
	"Is it going to be smooth sailing or rough seas?"
	"Who knows Doc."
	"This is the first time anything like this has been done.  I hope
we make this work."
	"Doc, These people have to make it work.  Its their only hope."
	"I know.  I just don't feel to safe here.  My neck is so far
stretched out on the block, it might break before the ax falls."
	"Don't worry Doc, I can keep the paper pushers away.  We are going
to save peoples lives here."
	"I am glad you feel that way.  Lets go back to work."
	"Two more women.  who is on the list?"
	The next person on the list was an admitted lesbian.  She had a
male job as a truck driver.  She was one of the lung cancer patients who
hadn't quit smoking when the doctor told her to.  She was not in good
condition.  She came in with oxygen and a wheel chair.  She would be touch
and go.  Her name was even kinda butch.  "Jerrie" had no problem with any
of the spill.  In fact she wanted the change.  This was one of the more
interesting cases.  "The others may not react well to her," I thought to
myself.  "We'll see."
	The last patient for the day was Maureen.  Maureen had a brain
tumor which was growing.  It was in a place where operating was impossible.
She was losing her sight and having terrible headaches.  The doctor who had
diagnosed her shook his head and told her to try anything she could.  He
could not help her any more.  Radiation had caused her hair to fall out.
She had a thin growth of hair trying to return.  She just wore a baseball
cap.  This patient seemed to be the most difficult to predict.  She lived
with her dog and made a small living writing fiction novels.  That was all
she could do by now.  Her health wouldn't permit anything else.  Her dog
went everywhere she did.  When we came in the room, I looked down to see
this little herding dog growling at me.  I was used to eccentric patients
but not used to dogs.  But I knew that to some of these patients, a dog or
pet of some kind was the difference in living or giving up.  It was a
package deal.  No problem.  Again it was the same spill.  She accepted the
program and the side effects.  But, when introduced to Billie, she didn't
react like the others.
	"Billie, why do you like being an artificial person?  Why can't you
just be your normal self and let the world think what it wants?"  Billie
looked at Maureen and said the most profound thing Doc had ever heard her
say.
	"Maureen, I want to be like this.  I didn't think I would like it
at first, but now I do.  I don't care if I might be a freak of nature.  I'm
me and I am going to enjoy myself.  I am now female.  I am going to go with
it.  When you become male, you will find a new world.  Maybe a better one.
Who knows, a door or two might open that once was shut to you.  Some of my
doors closed.  Most of all, I wanted to live.  This is the consequences.
But again, I like it."
	Maureen just looked at Billie and said, "Your right.  Doc, can I
keep my dog?  I can't sleep without him."
	"Just as long as he doesn't bite anyone or pee on the furniture, I
don't care."
	"Look, he won't bite anyone who doesn't deserve it He is house
trained."  Doc looked at Billie.
	"Do we have anyplace where she can have her dog and not get any
problems from the other patients?"
	Billie looked at a note pad and said, "Sure.  I got just the
place".  The dog would be only a minor annoyance.  There would be more
pressing problems ahead.  Billie took Maureen up to the "Hormone Hotel".
This was our new joke.  After all, one has to laugh occasionally.  One of
the patients had taken a piece of cardboard and put it over the door in the
dorm.  It got a good chuckle from everyone.