This story contains sex and stuff innapropriate for kiddies. I hope you enjoy it. Any comments, constructive criticism or whatever send to me at

>Landing on Your Feet
By Kismet

"So tell me, what do you desire?" the mage asked, dark thick eyebrows upturned questioningly.

Rupert the woodsman grinned, "one of your statues, milord." He had heard that this wizard provided the best statues imaginable. Apparently they were magical and when touched would turn to flesh, trapping whomever touched them within their confines, binding the person to the first being they saw.

"Any in particular?" The warlock asked, a lascivious grin on his face. He knew exactly what the lumberjack was after but enjoyed interacting with his customers, plumbing the depths of peoples desires.

"Well, I saw one coming in. The short curvaceous one with the face of an angel." The woodsman rubbed his hands together in anticipation. The wizard pulled out a ledger and scanned his inventory list.

"That particular one is worth five hundred gold sovereigns," the wizard stated, slamming shut the tome.

"I have only four hundred, but I hear you collect riddles. Would an exceptional riddle be worth your while?" the wood cutter inquired hopefully.

"It had better be exceptional for a hundred sovereigns," the magician said ominously.

"Oh, it is. Do we have a deal?" asked the rugged man.

The wizard ran his eyes over the unkempt man before him, pondering. After a long silence he nodded, "yes, but if I've heard it before, I will not be happy."

"You shan't of heard this before. What has whiskers, claws, tail, furred tongue, slitted eyes and sharp teethe like a cat, but is not a cat?"

"I will give you my answer in the morn," replied the wizard, "after I have had time to think..."

The woodsman smiled in triumph, passing his gold to the mage. Pulling a wand from the drawer, the mage aimed it at Rupert who held still in fear. "Remember, the first person to touch the statue shall be trapped in the magic of the stone and dote upon you for the rest of your life. This woman will also obey any command which you can give her." He waved the wand above the lumberjack's head. "Shazam," the wizard said.

Rupert felt a ripple pass through his body, his hair standing on end. Then the sensation passed. "What was that?" he asked fearfully.

"I had to mark you so that the person trapped in the statue would recognise you as her master," the sorcerer explained off handedly.

"Oh, sure," Rupert replied, "about that statue - how do I get it home?"

"I'll teleport it and you as well."

"Great," it was almost a months hike to the wizards hidden and remote tower.

Rupert barely contained his excitement as the wizard magically transported him and his new acquisition home. The woodsman could not wait until Sarec came by for their next game of cards. Boy was that cheat in for a surprise...

* * *

"She's a beauty, isn't she?" Rupert said proudly as Sarec wandered over to inspect the lovely statue in the corner of the woodsman's large timber house. Unable to wait, Rupert had invited his friend over that night. "Just look at that craftsmanship, magical isn't it? Touch it and you'll see what I mean."

Sarec walked up to the statue and ran a hand over it. The stone was incredibly crafted, and Sarec could not even tell where the carving had been done, the stone was so smooth. "Wow, incredible." Sarec bent down and examined the statue very carefully, marveling at the workmanship.

Rupert watched Sarec expectantly. Something interesting was about to happen to his friend.

Sarec paused as his muscles seemed to become leaden and unresponsive. The stone he was touching felt soft, almost alive. Sarec's jaw dropped into open mouthed surprise as the gray stone took on the cast of human flesh. The woman before him was real! Just as a grin appeared on his face, Sarec felt a pounding in his head as though he had just run headfirst into a brick wall.

Vision swimming, the room spun around on itself. Sarec staggered backwards and collapsed to the ground, his large backside cushioning the fall. Sarec tried to clear his vision. He was looking at a statue again, but this one seemed to be of himself.

The surprised man looked at Rupert then down at himself, hardly believing what he now saw. He was a woman. Somehow the statue he had been examining had turned to flesh and trapped him inside it! And what flesh. If he had been anywhere else but trapped in it he would have been overjoyed to see this body unclothed. The large firm breasts, narrow tapering waist, large rump and long dainty legs were incredibly attractive... but.

"Sarec, how are you?" Rupert asked. If anything the woman before him was more attractive now that she was flesh and blood.

Feeling a strange compulsion to reply, Sarec said, "I've been better."

"Come over here," Rupert said, walking towards his hide covered bed. Once again Sarec had to obey.

Rupert slowly unclothed and sat on the bed. Sarec was his to do with as he pleased! He ran a hand over her body, drinking in her beauty. Her large breasts tipped with deep pink nipples were firm and soft and most inviting, as was the rest of her delicious body.

To Sarec the hand caressing her mammaries felt magnificent, her teats standing erect and tender in the open air. Sarec fought an internal battle. She had no control over her body and the way it was reacting and was unable to do anything to stop Rupert but that didn't stop her from trying.

As Rupert's hands moved down to the warmth of her new sex and started to play with it, she felt a ribbon of pleasure knotting in her stomach. It was at this point that Sarec knew that her mental battle was lost, her legs opening invitingly.

Congratulating himself, Rupert motioned for Sarec to join him on the bed. The woman stood motionless. She had not been told what to do and so could exert some of her own free will.

Remembering what the wizard had told him about having to tell her what to do, Rupert said aloud, "join me on the bed." Sarec was forced to unwillingly obey.

* * *

The next morning Rupert lay on his bed in a daze, slowly massaging Sarec's breasts. They felt so much bigger. Actually Sarec seemed positively mammoth.

Rupert scratched his face in confusion, then paused as he felt a long hair on his face. It was slowly growing. There were more than one as well. He tried to grip it in his hand, but wound up scratching his face. He looked at his nails. They were changed. Thin, curved and pointed. Very sharp, not like his nails at all.

What was happening?

Rupert felt a undulation of flesh just above his rump. He looked behind him and saw a long thin prehensile appendage growing from his backbone. It developed to become a long thin swishing extension.

His mouth grew dry in fear and he briefly wondered what he was turning into. His mouth felt strange, furry...

Rupert's vision blurred then came into focus again in startling clarity.

Finally his teethe started to narrow as they grew sharp and needlelike. He let out a low growl of fear as his skin sprouted fur, a mottled gray, just like a cats. His whole body dwindled, smaller and smaller as he became something else. He struggled under the now heavy blanket, but could not free himself.

'Whiskers, claws, tail, furred tongue, slitted eyes and sharp teethe like a cat, but not a cat,' he thought as he struggled to comprehend his new reality.

There was movement in the bed and Sarec turned around then looked down at the small bundle of blankets in the centre of the empty cot.

"Rupert where are you?" Sarec asked. A meow answered her. Twisting, Sarec freed the trapped animal, holding it by the back of the neck. "Aren't you a cute kitten?" She immediately felt a strong affection for the little animal. Looking around the room again then back at the animal, a suspicion developed in her mind.

"Is that you Rupert?" she asked.

The cat meowed in response, causing Sarec to smile in glee.

"Well, well, aren't we a cute little pussy?" holding the cat up Sarec grinned, "and a girl at that!"

Rupert let out a plaintive yowl.

"This is so funny. I'll do anything you tell me too, but you can't talk any more, can you!" Sarec said as she stroked Rupert's fur. "You're going to have lots of kittens Rupert. How do you like that idea?"

Rupert hissed indicating that she didn't.

* * *

The riddlemaster passed his hand over his crystal ball, the image of the woman and the kitten fading. He shook his head in amusement. It would take a better riddle than Rupert's to earn the title of 'exceptional riddle'.



The statue idea was not overly original and has been done better before. Sorry, next time the mechanism will be more interesting. I was more interested in the riddle bit anyway.

I'll make it clear here; I don't write the riddles, but I do paraphrase them. A good source of riddles is;

'The riddle book', Kevin Crossley-Holland 1982, Macmillan Children's Books. (Pp 72 "What has a head like a cat, feet like a cat, tail like a cat, and isn't a cat? A kitten.")

I intend to search out some good riddles and classic conundrums and use them in conjunction with stories (I am uncertain if this has already been done but I hope it hasn't). Obviously the copyright of riddles is not really an issue (most are ancient or are spread by word of mouth like jokes) but verbatim copying from books is in poor form, hence the paraphrasing and rewriting. Well done if you answer the riddles, (heck some of them are easy but there are some tricky ones.). More to come, hopefully. (I also intend to putter around with some classic folk-tales and world stories, time permitting. There's some pretty interesting untapped stuff out there.)

If you are interested, this story was written after a forthcoming story which is quite long (currently trapped in editing limbo.) This little beast precedes the other one chronologically (make sense?) so in some ways it is a prelude to better things.