-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Tuck Your Lumps -*- Copyright 2003 by Ellen Hayes. Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes. This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country. All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights. Tuck Your Lumps *** 21:04 3 Oct "Mom, I can't give her back until eleven," I moaned. This wasn't gonna make her happy- "You what?" I whimpered. "Why NOT?!" she demanded. *** 21:06 3 Oct "Fine," she said, shutting me up. "Where's your car?" "Um." I had to think about it for a really long time before I could point to it in the parking lot. "Good. You DO have a car seat for her in-" "Yes!" "Then we're taking your car-" "What? Where?" "Home." "OUR home? WHY?" I gasped as I stopped walking. "Because if I don't get your father between us, I am going to beat the story out of you right now, and that's not right." I thought- well, sort of thinking, mixed in with a lot of panic, trying to find other options, except there weren't any, not while Mom was carrying Stella. That, and not 'calming the baby' like she'd said, had to be the reason Mom said she'd carry her. When I couldn't find anything else to do, I started walking towards my car again. I couldn't help crying, but I tried real hard to keep it quiet. *** 21:10 3 Oct I found out why she'd told me to drive, as she pulled out her cellphone and hit a button. Shortly thereafter, she said, "Bill? Break, flash." "Oh, shit, shit, shit," I moaned, and I would have continued doing that except she slapped me on the leg and pointed at the stoplight, which was now green. "Anyone else in the house?" she asked. "I need 'em out." *Oh my fucking-* "Now, Bill," she stated. "Because... I can't explain this over the phone at the moment, Bill, just get rid of them," she ordered, sounding exasperated. "Half an hour." I wanted to throw up but that wasn't going to help. "Eugene, who else?" she complained to Dad. I almost complained, 'That's not fair!' but managed to stop myself just in time. That was the sort of thing that led to her exploding, and that would be a bad thing since I was driving and doing thirty at the time. Dad or someone else might have waited, or just yelled, but Mom wasn't good at controlling her temper when she was this mad. *** 21:44 3 Oct "Sarah..." Dad started, then trailed off as he saw me. I didn't look my best, what with the crying I'd been doing steadily all the way home just thinking about this moment, plus every other moment that was going to come after this. And I was sure the girly bits like the clothing didn't help matters. "What is going on?!" Dad asked, sounding SO much calmer than Mom. "_I_ don't know, Bill!" Mom burst out sarcastically. "But EUGENE does!" "Uhhh-" I groaned, which didn't help either. "Upstairs, our room," Dad ordered. "Sarah, WHAT are you doing with a baby?!" "It's fucking evidence!" Mom yelled as she went out of the kitchen. Dad watched her go, then turned back to me, looking extremely confused. "DO you know what's going on?" he asked. I had to nod. "Then, we'd better get upstairs. I want to hear this." *** 21:48 3 Oct We'd been delayed a bit, as Dad decided to put Stella to bed in Susan's room temporarily, I went to try vomiting again, and Mom changed into something more suited to interrogation than what she'd been wearing. I wished I could have, but they wouldn't let me. "Now," Dad said to start things off. "What is going on?" "I found him," Mom started quickly, "in the food court of Westcross Mall, dressed like that, sitting at one of the booths, singing to the baby, like, like, like he-" "Okay," he said to Mom. "Calm down, and we'll get to the bottom of this. Eugene?" While I was thinking about what to say, my hindbrain decided to try hysterics again. Didn't work. *** 21:52 3 Oct Mom had been banished to the basement to 'work some feelings out' on the body bag, and Dad had grabbed me and made me aware that if I tried to run it would only make things worse. *Next life, I get some fat geek for a father, not a runner,* I told myself in a slow moment. It didn't help me feel better; I was stuck in this life. "Promises made under duress aren't binding, are they?!" came out the instant I thought of it. Dad thought, then said, "No." *Ohmy-* "However," he continued, which crushed me again, which hurt. A LOT. "Now that you are here, _I_ want to know what you were doing, and if you don't talk I'm going to tie your ass up and throw you in the basement until you do," he said calmly. "Get Mom outta there and you gotta-" "Eugene." I sat down on the floor and started to cry again, really hard this time. I couldn't help myself. *** 22:01 3 Oct "Ready?" Dad asked as he adjusted the intercom headset he had on. At least this way, Mom wouldn't be screaming at me after every word. I'd never be ready, so I nodded. "When did this start?" Dad demanded. "The babysitting, or-" "You wearing women's clothing, Eugene," Dad said disgustedly. "We know when the babysitting started." "Uhhhh-" "You will tell me the truth," he stated. "Since last year, Halloween," I admitted as the tears started leaking out again. "Um, Debbie had this idea for the Halloween costume contest..." *** 22:34 3 Oct "Don't you have to take her back soon?" Mom asked as she came in. "Wh- Oh yeah. Oh god," I moaned. "I can't go looking like this?" "Why not?" Dad asked before Mom could. "If she sees I've been crying, she'll want to know why, and..." I trailed off because of the looks I was getting, and then I added - slightly - to the problem of tear-smeared makeup. Though at this point it probably couldn't get any worse. *** 22:38 3 Oct "Well," Dad said sarcastically, "if you've been doing it all this time, then you ought to be pretty good at it by now. So go fix it." He pointed towards their bathroom. I got up, but went to the kids' bathroom instead, since I didn't want to be around them any more than I had to at this point. *** 22:40 3 Oct If I didn't do something drastic, I wasn't gonna make it all the way to the Parkers' house. I was what you might call 'upset'. So I pulled a safety pin out of the medical locker and stuck it through the skin on my arm. That sobered me up, as I knew it would, though it made me feel worse. Then I pulled out a band-aid, threaded it between the bars of the safety pin, and peeled the backing off and stuck it there, so the blood wouldn't get on anything. *** 22:46 3 Oct "Holy FUCK!" Dad gaped as I opened the door and came partway out. I started to go back in, but Mom was standing there, and she stuck her foot in the door before I could close it. "Get out!" she ordered. *Why?* came to mind, but it wasn't like I had much of a choice at this point. *** 22:49 3 Oct "What? BOTH of you?" I complained. "We need to get your mother's car back," Dad commented as he opened the door on his Volvo. "Oh..." I should've run off with Stella when I had the chance. Except I hadn't had one. "Nnnnn," Stella moaned in sympathy. *** 23:17 3 Oct I was halfway to the front door of the Parkers' with Stella asleep in the sling and me pushing the stroller, when I noticed that I was being followed. "What in HELL ARE YOU-" "I gotta see this," Mom told me, not happy about it, and Dad nodded in total agreement. "Don't you fuck this up or I'm going to jail," I 'threatened' them as my heart started energetically tap-dancing. I'd have tried to convince them otherwise, but the last couple hours had told me that they wanted to know far more than was good for me, and they were perfectly willing to squish me in the process. "Fuh?!" Stella asked. "Oh god," I moaned. "Ring the doorbell," Dad ordered as Mom grabbed my arm and we all went up to the porch. "I mean it," I emphasized as Mom rang the doorbell. "Don't say anything about tonight or- Hi," I smiled at Miz Parker. "Oh hi Valerie!" she said smiling at me, then looked at my parents and didn't say anything else, but I could see the question. "We're her parents," Dad stated, sounding a little odd to me. Like he was talking to someone who didn't get the joke, haha. "She's grounded," Mom 'explained', "so we thought we'd bring her over here and make sure she didn't go somewhere else after she dropped Stella off." "Miz Parker, my parents," I sighed by way of introduction. "We've heard so much about you," Mom schmoozed at Miz Parker. Miz Parker smiled back at Mom and stepped back as she said, "Please, call me Beth. Well, why don't you come in for a few minutes? I think there's still some of Valerie's hors d'oeuvres left..." For a moment I wanted to kill her, but if I tried it now I'd end up dead probably before Miz Parker did, and then they'd all talk about me. Hell, Mom would probably take my corpse home just so she could lecture it. "I think Stella needs to be put to bed, though," I mentioned instead. *** 23:26 3 Oct After I'd put Stella into her crib, I just stayed there and watched for a while. She looked so peaceful and calm... and she was so quiet it was almost unreal. And she wasn't yelling at me, which was a big bonus at this point. "Come out," Dad ordered softly. I sighed, made sure she was covered up and had her bear with her, and her pacifier tied in. Then I had a wild moment of thought involving some kind of escape, but I didn't have any gear with me at all, and if I took off, then one of them would race back to our house and reset all the codes while the other one hunted me. In other words, no chance at all. It was an extremely depressing calculation, but I jiggled the safety pin that was still in my arm, under the blouse, and just whimpered instead of crying again. *** 23:28 3 Oct "You've been," Dad almost whispered, "doing this, every day, like..." "Yes," I grumbled. I was upset enough with the interrogation; I didn't need to have obvious stuff like that questioned, just for stupidity's sake. *It's not THAT hard a concept, dumbass!* *** 23:30 3 Oct "Val, I hope you're not in too much trouble," Miz Parker said to me in a sort of supportive-worried tone. "Yeah, me too," I sighed, and tried to smile back at her. It didn't work very well at all, I could tell, so I stopped. "We'll be discussing that this weekend," Mom said. "Are you going to be able to work Monday?" Miz Parker asked me, sounding only-worried now. I caught Dad doing something subtle to Mom, and as she huffed in pain Dad replied, "We haven't worked that out yet, but you'll be told in plenty of time to work something out." Miz Parker frowned in worry, still looking at me. *** 23:33 3 Oct When we were back in the car, I undid the safety pin and pulled it out, and half-fainted from the pain and shock. So I missed whatever else they were whining about for a while; what a shame. I might've thrown up except I'd already done that. *** 00:18 4 Oct "Come on. Out," Dad ordered, which pulled me back out of my induced coma. I hated him for it, but sat up in the back seat and wriggled until I got to a door, and got out of his car. "Back upstairs," he directed. *** 00:26 4 Oct "YOU always said it didn't matter what clothes-" "That's not the issue," Dad said loudly as he put a hand on Mom's shoulder to shut her up, or keep her from getting up. "You lied to us about what you were doing, where you have been, and who you were with, and you have done so consistently for the last year." "But-" "There's no excuse for that, Eugene," Dad stated flatly. "None." "The sit-" "I was getting to that," Dad interrupted Mom. "In addition, you have exposed yourself and the rest of this family to criminal or civil prosecution, by babysitting those children like, like that." "What? HOW?!" "What if you got caught you idiot?!" Mom snapped. "I wasn't gonna-" "Oh right like you know SO much-" "All RIGHT!" Dad barked, which shut me and Mom up. "Eugene, you knew it was not right, and you knew we would be upset, and you hid this from us." "Why didn't you tell us?" Mom complained. "Because he knew we'd react like this," Dad answered before I could. "That's no excuse," he said to me. *** 01:13 4 Oct "Eugene." Dad waited until I looked up. Apparently it was required to look at the judge during sentencing or something. "Five hundred dollar fine, you are grounded for six weeks, and your telecommunications are under lockdown, as of now." I would have screamed protest, or cried, or run, or thrown up, or something, a few hours ago; I was too drained to do anything like that any more. I just flinched a lot. "Keys," Dad demanded, and I numbly handed them over, and he worked off my car keys and handed the lump back to me. "Get out of here." "And don't forget," Mom sneered, "you have therapy at ten this morning. And I think it's going to be a long session." *** 01:21 4 Oct I was about to shut the door to my room, but it wouldn't shut. I looked around, and Mom was holding it open with her foot. "Bill! I don't want this door shut any more either!" she yelled over her shoulder. "Mom!" I managed to protest. "You should have thought of that before you lied to us," she said, like she'd been saying all fucking night. *** 01:30 4 Oct I'd thought I was cried out before, but when Dad snipped the power cable to the door locks with bolt cutters, I managed to find a few more tears. The heart arrythmias hadn't stopped, but the couple twitches this time gave me hope that I would actually die this time. *** 01:39 4 Oct I managed to get to my computer station and dial Mike's computer line and drop an eight-word authenticated message - "VAL BUSTED BY PARENTALS STOP NOTIFY CONCERNED PARTIES" - before Dad caught that and cut Brian's line off too. He'd end up rewiring Brian's phones again or something, to keep me in lockdown, but sometimes you just had to burn a resource. That might have been the only way to get word to Mike, or anyone else, before Monday morning, and I didn't want to think about what could happen if one or more of the girls came over at this point. *** 01:46 4 Oct If I was stupid enough to lie down and close my eyes, I wouldn't see the dawn. The nightmares tonight would kill me. I couldn't concentrate on anything, though - I was fried. So, I sat on the floor, and within seconds I was rocking back and forth, thumping my head against my bedframe, like I used to do when I was little. *** 08:28 4 Oct "EUGENE!" Dad called as I stopped rocking, and I realized it was his hands on my shoulders stopping me. "Are you okay?" "Nahgh," I tried to answer, but found my mouth and throat had slimed up. I shook my head instead, and started rocking again. "Eugene?" "Uh?" "We have to go to therapy today." JUST what I needed this morning. I laughed at the idea, and found that my head was whacking the bedframe again. Which felt better than thinking. *** 08:29 4 Oct I found myself on my back, looking up at Dad. "Uh-gggrk," I started before I rolled over on my side and cleared my pipes. When I was done, he said, "Eugene, you HAVE to go to therapy today." I laughed at the idea. The rhythm called to me and so I started rocking again. *** 08:31 4 Oct If I'd really been conscious, I would have objected when Dad picked me up and carried me out of my room. Then again, consciousness was what I was trying to avoid. So it came as a tremendous shock when I bounced off the wall. "Eugene?" Dad asked calmly after he caught me and spun me around. I looked up at him, and he was examining me leisurely. "Huh?" "Are you feeling better?" "Why- Oh." Now I remembered last night, and everything else. The pain curled me up into a rigid ball and I started to sob. It hurt. Everything hurt. *** 08:55 4 Oct "Eugene, you need to take a shower," Mom ordered. I sighed raggedly, then got up. My face was slimy again, so I wiped it with my hands - which had the added benefit that Mom wouldn't touch me for fear I might touch HER - and staggered off to the bathroom. *** 09:17 4 Oct "Wear what you were wearing last night," Mom told me. "No," I told her back. Pause. "What," Mom asked rhetorically, "did you say?" "I said, 'No'." We stared at each other for a long time. "Sarah, I got it," Dad said tiredly as he pushed Mom a little, towards their room. "Eugene..." Eventually, when nothing else came out, I repeated, "I won't." "You said you'd been doing this for a long time. Why not now?" "Because you'll use this to get me into trouble, PSYCH trouble," I emphasized, "and I refuse to, to... to assist you. Self-incrimination." "Psych trouble?" "Hospitalized or something." *You dumbfuck.* "You're kidding," he suggested. "Like hell." Pause. This one was different than the one with Mom; Dad was trying to figure this one out - what was hard about it I don't know, but he WAS thinking - and there wasn't the sense of a cloud of menace building up like Mom had been doing. "You think WE would do that to you?" "I think that therapist might." Dad's brain whirred and buzzed away at this datum. He finally tried, "I thought you liked her?" "She's a psych, Dad. All them people are fucked up and can't handle the idea of weird-but-okay," I explained. "If you're not in the first few sigmas, off you go." Buzz, whirr. He tried something else. "And do you think we would let her do that to you?" "Yes," I choked. "No," he stated. "Never." I suddenly vomited up, "YOU HATE ME! I FAILED YOU!" and choked on the pain which knocked me to the ground. *** 10:01 4 Oct "Hi," Sheila said, and we all got up, me with 'assistance'. "You said you needed a double session today?" I wiped my hands on my pants again, like I'd been doing. "It's going to take at least that long," Dad said. *** 10:22 4 Oct After she'd told my parents to wait outside, Sheila came back in, shutting the door behind her, and looked at me as she sat down. Pause. "Why did you assume that your parents would hate you?" she asked, which made me start to cry again. I hated her. *** 10:38 4 Oct Sheila looked at Dad in amazement for a while, then said carefully, "I think that punishment is... excessive." "He lied CONTINUALLY to us for a YEAR, about where he was, what he was doing, who he was with..." Mom didn't run out of steam; she got so much up that it blocked her voice. I got ready to dodge her if she lost it and jumped at me. "Well, I understand the magnitude of what he's done, but grounded for six weeks? AND a five hundred dollar fine?" "And the lockdown," I mentioned, which was the worst of all. *** 11:07 4 Oct Sheila had done something, I dunno, maybe she'd traded her soul for skill, but she had agreed with most of what Mom and Dad had said, percentage-wise, and simultaneously gotten them to knock the penalties back to three weeks grounding and a hundred dollar fine, and no lockdown at all. On the other hand, I'd had to sign another contract in blood, which is why I'd gotten the couch and Mom and Dad were in chairs. This one was a reiteration of an earlier, family-only deal, about keeping a record of some kind about where you were going, and sort of who you were with. In case something like Susan happened again, or several things I'd experienced, it was good to give people a clue as to where and when you were so they could come get you or send the cops or an ambulance or indirect fire or something. "I think I need to speak to him alone again," Sheila said, and I knew it was The Big One. *** 11:09 4 Oct "It is NOT the big fucking deal that everyone thinks it is!" I complained. "I mean, MOM has been saying for all my life that she's as good as any man, and I can believe that, and she can wear pants and doesn't have to look like a feminine piece of fucking art alla time, and I believe that too, so whattahell's'a problem with me doin' it?" I needed a breath at that point, so I took one. "You seem defensive," Sheila mentioned casually. "You would too if you just got your ass grounded for a month and a half!" "But they said-" "They said six weeks first," I interrupted. "Plus a fine, plus a COMPLETE fucking lockdown on outside communications! Then they got the fucking nerve to wonder why I'm freakin' out! I'M DEFENSIVE AND UPSET!" I yelled at Sheila to pre-empt her. She nodded with me emphatically, like she was in serious agreement with what I said. I was preparing to counter-argue, though, and so I sort of mentally stumbled, and stopped, just standing there- *I gotta watch that,* I realized, and sat back down. *** 11:18 4 Oct "It's just, I mean... I mean, people, I mean strangers and stuff, they LIKE me when I'm like that. They don't like this." "Why do you say that?" "Because they smile at me and talk to- I mean, start conversations with me and things like that, like they want to know- I mean, associate with me, like being seen with me ISN'T a social embarrassment. I mean, do you know what it's like, to have all your life people acting like you've got a big booger hangin' out of your nose?" "People act like that around you?" she asked in surprise. "Yeah!" I agreed, really loudly. Then I remembered what I was talking about. "But, I mean, not like if I look like a girl. I don't KNOW why!" I said to get that over with, because she would've asked that next. "But, they do..." *** 11:20 4 Oct "Yeah, I do like it," I admitted. "I like it when people are happy to see me, instead of like sickened." "I- That could be important," Sheila agreed, stumbling a bit. "Can, can you think of what the difference is, though?" I shook my head. "No. And I've thought about it, sometimes. It's just, people... People act different. Depending on which way I am at the time." *** 12:17 4 Oct "Would you like to get some lunch?" Mom asked. I gagged and retched a couple of times, so I missed Dad's answer, if he'd had one. "I'll pass, thanks," I gasped when I could. *** 13:08 4 Oct They'd decided not to go to lunch, which made no difference to me at all. If they thought I was going to run away after this... Well, it was a nice idea, but I wasn't sure I could run in a straight line at the moment. So, of course, Dad reminded me that I had chores I could be doing. I'd managed to mop the floor quickly while everyone else ate; the smell of the floor cleaner mercifully covered the scent of food, which would've made me retch myself inside out at that point. It had just about dried when they came back in, and I left immediately. *Laundry next, I guess,* I decided, and went up the stairs to get that started. *** 13:17 4 Oct I'd gotten laundry baskets, plus all the dirty clothes I could find, and had them on top of my bed, but by the time I had them sorted out I was so exhausted my eyes were closing by themselves and I wasn't noticing. Not to mention the flu-like aches and pains, and a headache that was bigger than my head, and a few other things. *** 14:05 4 Oct I slid off the bed and woke up very confused, but after five minutes or so I'd figured out what happened, during which time I made it to the toilet and back. I 'decided', in a sort of random-neuron-firing sort of way, to arrange things on the bed so I'd be in a more stable position. *** 18:03 4 Oct "Uh?" "DO you WANT to EAT?" Brian screeched. "Fuck OFF!" I replied, and threw something at him. I dunno if he left or what, but he shut up, and that was all I cared about. *** 03:36 5 Oct I woke up in a great deal of pain, which I eventually localized to my crotch. *Oh god they did something!* I panicked at first, but before I could turn on the light to look, I realized that 'all' I had was a bladder about to pop, and the side-effectual erection, as if an extended urethra was gonna give me a few cc's more capacity or something. *Stupid spinal cord,* I thought as I staggered into the bathroom and did an awful lot of business. I wasn't sure I'd ever get done, either; it seemed that about the time I'd think I was through, my bladder would contract another notch and I'd have more to pump overboard. Which gave me plenty of time to realize just how thirsty I was. *** 03:47 5 Oct Having finally replaced what water I'd lost, I 'decided' that I was still tired, I guess; I found myself crawling back into bed with a sense of joyous anticipation, anyway. *** 08:51 5 Oct "Eugene!" Mom barked. "Uh!" I complained as I shot up, almost slammed my head into the bunk bed frame above me, and in reaction fell right back where I'd started. "Are you going to sleep ALL weekend?" "Thassoun's good," I agreed sloppily. Getting up looked dangerous. She warbled a complaint but left. I was glad she had, but I couldn't go back to sleep for some strange reason. It took me a while to identify it as a semi-familiar pain. *Stupid spinal cord,* I grumbled as I got up to go drain the system again. *** 08:56 5 Oct Clever me had taken a cup into the toilet/bathtub room this time, and I could just reach the faucets on the tub while sitting down, so I got to fill and drain at the same time. Which meant I was back in bed that much sooner. *This,* I decided, *is what a weekend ought to be like.* I realized there was something I was missing, but I lost consciousness before I could figure out what it was. *** 12:31 5 Oct "Eugene Wallace!" was followed by a blinding pain. *That was why I took the top bunk off,* I remembered dimly, as I held my skull together. "Were you ever going to WASH that laundry, or just sleep on it for the next week?" Mom bitched. "Get UP and get it DONE!" I thought about it. *** 12:32 5 Oct "NOW!"-thump-*Ow! Shit...* I wrapped my arms around my head this time before I tried sitting up, partially for protection and partially to keep my brains from leaking out, and slithered out of my bed and onto my feet. "I mean it," Mom snarled, and stomped off, leaving me to try and figure out what she meant. I finally remembered, *Laundry,* and so I started sweeping piles-on-bed into baskets to take downstairs. *** 12:37 5 Oct "You still have to cook this weekend," Dad said as I was shoving whites into the washing machine. "Yeah, I know, but that's tomorrow," I said tiredly back. I'd taken some ibus to banish the headache, but I was still feeling sort of concussed. "Today is Sunday," Dad ordered. "No it isn't," I sighed, not in the mood for his stupid games. "Check your watch," he suggested. I did, and was well stupefied to find out that he hadn't been kidding or trying to get me to cook twice in one weekend. "How long did I sleep?!" He sighed. "Nearly twenty-four hours, as far as I can-" "Nuh UH!" I interrupted. "I NEVER sleep that long!" "You did this time." Pause. I restarted filling the washer. "Why...?" "I think it was because you were tired." "That never made a difference before," I told him. "Yeah, Sheila mentioned your sleeping problems." "Wh- Oh, shit." Therapy. "We still have a lot to discuss," he declared. I sagged. The last thing I needed was any more discussion, about anything. Right now, I'd be happy to go into a monastery and swear vows of silence. Unbelievably, though, at that point he just turned and left. *** 12:43 5 Oct *Oh, just for a minute,* my bed said to me. "Don't lie to me," I grumbled. *But you're so tired...* *** 13:12 5 Oct I was out of bed and halfway up the spiderhole in my closet when I realized what had woken me up and why I was so scared. My mother and Debbie were having an argument downstairs, and loud enough I could still hear it from in here. Of course, my door was open... because I couldn't lock it any more. *Uh huh,* I decided, and went the rest of the way up the spiderhole. I had to fumble a bit with the spring latch to open the trap, but I got it quick enough, and snaked through and closed it quietly and making sure it relatched. Then I had to carefully snake through the attic to the dropshaft, and down into the basement. Luckily I was good at this. *** 13:13 5 Oct I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do with the gear I was pulling out of my lockers, but I was real damned sure I wanted it. "Tucker-" "Erk!" I gasped, but I already knew it was my dad even as I tried yanking on the ARM's handle. It didn't come loose the first time, of course, and I didn't feel the need to try it the right way. Yet. "Put it away," he said tiredly. "Debbie wants to know-" "How did she get in here?!" "She demanded to speak to Sarah about your job," Dad said, sounding not amused. "Seems she resents us interfering in commercial contracts. So they're discussing what you're going to do about your job. What we're going to do," he corrected himself. "Well?" my stupid mouth said. He gestured upstairs, as I considered the virtues of superglue lip gloss in assuring me a longer lifespan. "They're 'discussing' it right now." "Oh great," I said, which was a lie, and unlocked the ARM and pulled it out. "Eugene!" "If EITHER of them come down here in the moods they're in, I'm gonna die," I predicted. "Or wish I was dead until I can manage to off everybody." "You are Not Allowed," he emphasized, "to shoot your mother, and shooting your boss looks bad on your resume." "So does 'deceased'." "Rack 'em, now!" Dad ordered sharply. I guessed he'd had enough of the witty banter, and he was going to sacrifice me to one of the two. Maybe both, like a wishbone or some- *WHY do I have to THINK of these things?!* I complained bitterly to myself as my body temperature dropped twenty degrees and I had a fit of shivering. But I replaced the ARM and closed the rack clips, and hung everything back up where it was supposed to go, and shut the locker doors and spun the combo dials. *** 13:15 5 Oct "Then," Debbie yelled as Dad opened the top-of-the-staircase door, "WHY don't you ask HIM what HE wants to do?!" "Oh no," I said, and Dad tried to grab me harder but the sweat that usually broke out when I felt I was getting too close to Death, was a nice lubricant - which was probably why I sweated at times like this - and so I pulled loose and went back down the stairs into the basement. I wanted to get the stuff out of my lockers, but I had no time at all, so I went back up the dropshaft instead, snaked through the attic, dropped down the spiderhole in Brian's room, and came out of his closet. "Whatthe-" Brian yelped as he had some transient epilepsy. "Just passing through," I panted, and opened his window enough to slide out, and then I was on the porch roof and getting ready to jump- "Get back in that house," Dad ordered, staring up at me from the lawn. *Goddamnit, how'd he know I was going out this way?! You fucking PRICK!* I yelled at him, which fazed him not at all. He just stood there, arms crossed and looking irritated. I sighed and went back in through the window into Brian's bedroom, which didn't make him happy at ALL. Unfortunately, when I opened the door into the hallway, Mom and Debbie were RIGHT there. "Aguhk!" I commented as I backed frantically, which didn't work, and tried to slam the door shut, which didn't work either, because my loving little brother was pushing me from the other end. "Get OUT"! he yodeled into my rear ribs. I stuck a leg up, got good traction on the doorframe, and just about walked myself into a loop over the top of him, except he threw me sideways when I was on his back, and then he kicked me while I was falling, I think. In any case, I was in too much pain to resist the arm lock until it was too late, and then he was hauling me to my feet and pushing me out of his room and into the hands of Debbie and my mother, both of whom looked angry enough to- That's when I fainted. *** 13:20 5 Oct The first thing I heard when I woke up was Dad complaining, "Because you're going to kill him!" I didn't like the sound of that, so I started wriggling away as fast as I could. Debbie and Mom both protested, loudly, and at the same time, which would've made me go faster, except they were in front of me. Before I could back up more than a foot, Dad stepped on a kidney and put weight on it, which made me stop. "Go downstairs, BOTH of you," Dad ordered. "GodDAMNIT Bill!" Mom yelled. I dunno what she said after that; that was when I stuck my pinkies in my ears and pushed hard. *** 13:22 5 Oct Something slapped my shoulder, which caused me to make an unmanly noise and flail around for several seconds, which caused me to yank the pinkies out of my ears. Which deafened me quite effectively. When I realized I wasn't being beaten, I spent some time trying to pop my ears, and staring at Dad, who was staring back at me. I noticed that I was sort of against Brian's door, and Mom and Debbie were nowhere to be found. Or heard, I noticed as my hearing re-expanded. "Are you ready to go downstairs?" Dad finally asked. "I don'wanna!" I whimpered. "Tough shit, kid," he sighed. "They're both pissed, I'm tired of the yelling, and it's all because of you. What the hell made you decide to BABYSIT like that?" he asked incredulously. "It was better than talking to your idiot customers!" I spazzed back. "Wiping stinking baby shit every-" "She breast-fed, it didn't stink!" That stunned both of us. He bowed his head and put his hands over his eyes, then moved them to his mouth and started making choked-off amused noises. I did the same thing hurriedly, then removed one hand so I could pound on a bruise; the LAST thing we needed was for either of them to hear us laughing. *** 13:25 5 Oct I was about ready to go downstairs or something, when Debbie raised her voice. "It's none of your business!" "Just hold it," Dad said into my ear as I went into reverse again and backed into him. "-well IS my business what you're doing to my SON!" Mom replied. "_I_ didn't make him do it, he said he WANTED to babysit!" "Like THAT?!" Mom didn't specify like what, but I thought I could guess. "Miz Parker wanted a girl sitter, and when I took Vv-Tucker-" "Eugene!" I flinched. "My son's name is EUGENE!" "Then why the hell doesn't he introduce himself like that?" Debbie shot back. "He HATES that name!" "Oh shit," Dad mumbled, and we both backed up. "Jeezus," he sighed, "I'd better get down there. Tucker, go to your room and STAY there this time. I don't think you can dodge both of 'em and I'm not taking the rap if you aren't around." "Okay," I lied, just eager to get him between Mom's opinion of my given names and me, and twisted aside to let him pass, then ran for my room. I entered the door code as fast as I ever had in my life and then got stuck when the door bolts didn't clack open. *Fuck!* I finally remembered, and just opened the door and zipped inside, then closed it to keep the noise down. Then I had a classic case of the shakes, and finally I had to crawl into bed to get blankets to keep myself warm. *** 13:39 5 Oct A single red flash told me it was probably Dad outside my door. "Come in," I croaked. He opened the door and said urgently, "If you hurry, I think we can settle this before they start yelling at each other again." "Shiiiiiiit!" I whined as I got unwrapped and out of bed. I didn't want to go now, but I didn't want to go later worse. Or something. *** 13:40 5 Oct "Eugene," Mom started as soon as I appeared, and Dad forced me to keep going into the living room. "Were you ever coerced into wearing girl's clothes as part of your job?" "I- What's 'coerced' mean again?" If there was ever a time to check if a word meant what I thought it meant, this was it. Debbie and Mom just stared at me like I was a lunatic. "Forced or under threat of force or harm," Dad defined from behind me. I flinched and admitted, "Uh, no." A poke from Dad told me I should elaborate. "Just, uh, Miz Parker wanted a girl there, and, uh, she liked me when Debbie and I sat there one day, uh, and, uh, later she asked me if I wanted to work there all the time. Uh..." "Do you WANT to keep working at the Parkers' house sitting," Debbie took her turn at me, "knowing that you'll have to go in women's clothes?" She was wearing one of her power suits with heels, and looked like she was totally capable of being in charge of anything she wanted to be. Of course, that wasn't counting Mom, who was radiating little lightning bolts of rage... Mom started, "He does NOT have to wear-" "Sarah!" Dad yelled, which made me eep. "If he doesn't, he's gonna have more to explain to them, than he did to us this weekend." "And everybody loses in that case," Debbie added. Pause. I was glad nobody had to explain to anybody why explaining Everything to the Parkers was a decidedly non-optimal path. "DO you?!" Mom demanded. "Do what?!" I panicked a bit. "Want to keep working at the Parkers," Debbie repeated. "Uh. I, uh. Uh-" "Assume," Dad said from behind me, which made me twitch again, "that you would be allowed to do so, under your previous terms of employment." "Why did you want to work there in the first place?" Mom asked. "Um, 'cause, um-" "Sarah, let him answer the last question-" "This one bears on that one," she objected. "Eugene?" "Uh." This one was easier to answer, anyway. "Um, the kids were okay, I guess, and it was pretty easy work for the money. Not like fast food or tech support, with lots of stupid people all day; it was just a few kids and a baby, and they weren't any big trouble..." "So you like the work?" Dad confirmed, and I had to nod. "What about," Mom asked, and I knew this was going to be a nasty one by the way her voice darkened, "the gender issue?" "The what?" "Being a girl for work, dummy," Debbie sighed impatiently as Mom's mouth opened then closed. "Oh, uh, well, uh, that wasn't... uh, that wasn't like such a big deal, I guess... I mean, it's sort of a dorky uniform except I got to pick it each day." Debbie looked away at that. Mom repeated in this tone that said she could not possibly believe what I'd just said, "It's just a-" "Well jeez, Kathy gets six and a half an hour and has to wear a stupid Wendy's uniform and a headset all the time. I get paid nine an hour and all-" "NINE DOLLARS?" Mom and Dad both gasped in horror. "Since the start of school," Debbie confirmed with an evil smirk. "Miz Parker said that... Tuck deserved a raise." "I thought I told you that?" I mentioned limply. "Maybe we keep blocking it out," Dad said. "Regardless. Do you want to keep working there?" "Well..." I glanced at Debbie, who looked utterly disgusted, and that pissed me off. I mean, yeah, her mom was a sheriff's deputy, but one of mine was a government-trained killer and the other one was REALLY scary and there were two of them and I KNEW they could hurt me a lot, so where the fuck did she get off looking at me like I was some kind of pathetic lapdog kid without any will of my own? "Yeah I do!" burst out of my mouth. "Unless you can pay me nine an hour for chores here-" "Like hell!" Dad got out first. "WWWWWHAT?" Mom shrieked. "HE decided!" Debbie yelled at Mom, and it sort of went downhill from there. I feinted and dodged past Dad, claiming, "Dryer!" as I went past and ran for the laundry room. *See, I'm not running away, I'm paying attention to my chores,* I tried to beam at all of them as I ran away. *** 13:49 5 Oct Somehow, the preceding two days had ignited in me a burning desire to do the laundry RIGHT. Or I was afraid I'd set Mom off if I did it wrong. And neither Mom nor Debbie were in here, which was a REALLY good thing. In any case, I was folding and hanging for all I was worth when Dad said, "I shoulda strangled you at birth." "Nergk," I commented, not realizing he'd come in. "Debbie 'won'," he announced, "you babysit tomorrow, but I have to take you to school in the morning-" "Oh no." "-And your mother picks you up at two and takes you-" "Oh NO!" "Oh yeah," Dad snarled. "Your ass is still grounded, kid, and you know the rules on that, you signed 'em." "I take it b- No, I'll pay the-" "Not acceptable in this case." "Why NOT?!" "Sarah overruled it." "Oh SHIT!" "That's a fairly good description of her mood right now," he mentioned. "I think you'd better stay out of the way the rest of the day. Forget cooking today, too." He shook his head. "And I know you didn't say where you changed, but you're gonna have to show her tomorrow." "I- No reprisals." "What?" "No reprisals, against the person helping me out there," I said. '?' said his eyebrows. "Look, Dad-" I almost said 'she', which was too much of a clue. "This person is doing this as a favor to me, and I asked for it..." Well, come to think of it, Debbie had, but I'd 'helped ask' or something like that, and I'd paid Rachel back with a few favors myself. "So this person shouldn't get any shit for helping ME out." Dad sighed and rubbed his face for a while. "Negotiating fee, ten bucks." If I paid, I wouldn't have to say anything to Mom about it. "Done!" I agreed instantly. "I shoulda strangled you at birth," he mumbled as he left. *** 13:59 5 Oct "She agreed," Dad said as I was gathering clothes off my bed. Unfortunately, I hadn't known he was there, and the sudden voice caused me to whack the back of my head into the top bunk's frame again. *This is starting to hurt,* I moaned to myself as I huddled on top of the clothes on my bed and waited for the sparks to stop. "And the rate for negotiations just tripled," Dad informed me. "Your head okay?" I thought about pretending I was dead and then escaping from the morgue, but then realized that they'd let EMS have a few whacks at me first. And I hated EMS whacking on me. "Yeah, I think," I admitted. Besides, I'd probably end up at a taxidermist. *** 15:04 5 Oct A question occurred to me as I was playing with the laundry, and Dad had been in the kitchen when I went through last time. I carefully peeked, and Mom wasn't there. "Dad?" "What?" he asked, sounding very tired. "Um... why was Debbie here, and why did anyone let her in?" He looked at me. "I have no idea," he said carefully, "how she knew to come here. You obviously sent something out; we haven't seen any of your friends this weekend. I'd guess that Debbie got the information from one or more of them." "Oh, crap." "As for why your mother let her in..." Dad shook his head. "I think Sarah wanted to eat some of Debbie's ass about her part in all this, and then the two of them got to 'talking', and-" "That's what woke me up," I interrupted. "They'd have woken up the neighborhood if it was night," Dad mentioned. "I'm just glad she got here in daylight, or we'd have had a noise complaint and cops to deal with too." I shivered at the thought. "Tucker?" Pause. "Yeah?" I whimpered. "You have gotten yourself into some deep shit," he announced like it was news. "And the reason is, you have not been thinking. You need to do so immediately." "Yeah," I said, and zipped out of there and back into the laundry room, where I could cry into the dirty stuff without anyone hearing me. Of all the stuff this weekend, that was the worst cut of all. *** "The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children." - Clarence Darrow Distribution: No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another person or group. Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic means, as long as the entirety of the work (from the BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE header to the END PGP SIGNATURE footer) is distributed, and credit is given to the original author, me. And no fee may be charged. Archiving is permitted provided no fee is charged for access. All rights reserved. + ==[-------- Ellen Hayes @>--,--'--- ellen@barkingduck.net + PGP DH/DSS keyfing: 33D4 156A AE39 53E2 0313 6714 2878 56A8 61B0 9CDC + http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes -=[1990]=- vicki .sig virus 11.4 + -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.2 iQCVAwUBP5vKZ3YDebnvyV1VAQGSfQP+Jv4L+UnWSC68vaqWOqpXntAtXmrUEgvf 0eSc5YQXnHu0/rhgX/xSI5QskP02Ri8YcUXvGgrUwapHrjDzmNcALiPJj3erBz/E 470HxVqBT7Np6Af2s+nWze69+fvjCCKjjZ1YsZhUaY1qX+cm8Y50XXvYF4+7+kUR d+RZdSlkk64= =nG5J -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----