-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Tuck a Cheap Shot -*- Copyright 2003 by Ellen Hayes. Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes. This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country. All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights. Tuck A Cheap Shot *** 15:24 5 Oct "Eugene, come into our room," Dad told me. "What now?!" "Part three," he said sternly. "Now that your mother is calmer, we have some more questions to ask you." "I told you everything!" "No you did not," he stated. "But, you will. Out!" As we left the laundry room, he added, "And if I were you, I would not bring up Debbie's visit today, at all." He tried pushing me to get me to go, but that didn't work; and I almost lunged free. "Eugene! She's drugged!" "What?" I asked as I stopped. "She decided some sedation was in order," he explained sourly. "MOM did?" "Which means, you have an obligation to show up." "Can I have some too?" "Only if you don't talk; then we pull out the pentothal." I wasn't sure if he was kidding, but I really didn't want to find out if either of them could set an IV in my arm. *** 15:26 5 Oct "Why is Brian in here?!" Mom announced, "He's got a right to know what's been going on-" "No he does NOT." "Shut up!" he complained at me. "KNOCK IT OFF!" Mom screamed suddenly. Pause. "I would suggest," Dad said calmly from behind me, "that you two don't put on your usual sibling rivalry act right now. Your mother has about had it, and I have about had it myself. Eugene, you've set him up for shit as well, and he doesn't know what's going on either." "Erk," I mentioned, but quietly. Dad shut the door, went over to the bed, and tossed me and Brian each a pillow. I sat on the floor and wrapped myself around mine like it was shielding or something. That's why we'd gotten them. "Brian is in here," Mom said, far more calmly than I'd heard her all weekend, "because the essence of what you've done is lied to us, all of us. Now, the truth will be exposed. And if you don't like it, you should have thought of that before hiding things like you have been. Brian," and he ducked, "will not discuss this outside of this room. Agreed, Brian?" He nodded silently and quickly. "Brian's been given the basic details, and he will be quiet for the rest of these unless he has something useful to add. Do you agree to keep this matter within this house and to stay quiet unless you have something to add?" She stared at him until he agreed, "Yes ma'am." "Eugene," she started on me. "You will answer questions put to you, and you will NOT lie," she growled a bit. "Right?" That was one of those questions you couldn't answer 'yes' or 'no' to safely, so I said, "Aye-aye ma'am." Pause. "Eugene," Dad started. "Why are you doing this?" "What? Doing what? Sitting- Don't yell at me!" I complained at Mom before she could say whatever it was, driven to incredible speeds of reflex by fear. "I don't understand the question!" Dad sighed as Mom did not come over and try to eviscerate me. I breathed a lot and wondered if we had any asthma medication in the house that was still good. "You spend," Dad tried again, "a great deal of your time as a girl, is that correct?" "Not a great d- Okay," I admitted after Mom locked on again. "Postulated." I glanced at Brian as I started to blush in shame, but he was holding the pillow in front of his face to keep from letting anything like an exclamation escape. Which was another reason we had pillows. "Why?" "Wh- Uh. I don't know?" I whimpered. "Wrong answer," Mom told me. "Sheila said," Dad said, "and you agreed in session, that you feel more socially accepted like that, as a girl. Is that correct?" "Oh god." I resolved never to talk to Sheila again, and never to let my parents attend another session either. Not that I'd invited them to the last one. "Is that true?" Mom asked. "I, I guess," I admitted, starting to choke up. Mom stopped, and lay backwards on their bed and looked at the ceiling without saying anything for a long time. "Brian," she called eventually, and Brian squeaked a bit. "What's the general rule on punishments in this house?" He finally answered, "Uh... Once you've been punished, you've been punished; that's it, unless you do it again." "Eugene, you've been punished for lying to us about where you were going and with whom, and in general for not telling us something important and dangerous that you were doing," she said, still apparently looking at the ceiling. Pause. Then she pushed herself upright again and looked at me. "You're not going to get it twice, okay? Just answer the questions. I... I don't understand this," she admitted, "and I don't know why you're doing it, or what you see in it..." She trailed off. "Well, I mean, I don't understand it either, I mean..." "Then tell us what you do know, alright?" she said calmly. "Okay," I breathed. Then I did some more breathing, because it felt good. "Why do you feel more socially accepted as a girl?" Mom asked. "I don't-" "Tell us what you SEE, Eugene," Dad said dispassionately. "What you feel. You don't have to explain WHY, just tell us what." "Okay." Maybe I could do that. "Um." Pause. Maybe I couldn't. "Eugene?" Mom prompted, but quietly, or I would have jumped out of my skin. "Is it because you want to be a girl?" "What?" "Live your life as-" "No!" They blinked at that. Several times. Dad said eventually, "So you weren't bullshitting us when you said you wanted to take the testosterone shots." "Well, I said I was willing," I corrected. "It's, I mean, it's worth the tradeoff, I think. I still don't like shots." "They'll change your body from the way it is now," Mom pointed out, like I didn't know that. "You won't be able to look like a girl as easily then." "Yeah, but that'll take a while," I said. "An' what I thought was, I could keep working an' stuff until it started happening, and then quit work, stop going out, stuff like that." "Why not now?" Dad asked. "'Cause, I mean, I wanted to, to do it longer... I mean, it IS a job, and I agreed to do it, right? So, I mean, if I quit later, I'd like tell people in time to set up a new arrangement and stuff. Not sudden like this." Dad nodded at that. "Doesn't..." Mom started, then stopped and looked like she was thinking about what she wanted to say. That was a VERY good sign; I wasn't sure she'd been thinking at all this weekend, and her reflexes tended to the violent sometimes. "Doesn't being a girl at work there BOTHER you? Or what about other places?" she asked. I shrugged. "No... I mean, except for the fact I don't have to worry about getting beaten up and stuff, I mean-" Brian made a lot of noise relatively speaking from behind his pillow. "No I'm serious!" I complained at him. "You've never seen it, so shut up!" "Brian," Dad added, "he's been doing it for a long time, and you said you'd never been caught, right?" "Yeah," I agreed. "IF you're right," he emphasized at me, "then obviously you're doing it that well, and you don't have to worry about discovery except under unusual circumstances." "That's exactly what I'm worried about!" Mom burst out. "Eugene, what if something happened to you? What if you got an asthma attack, or broke your arm or something? What if you got stopped for speeding?" "I don't speed!" "Eugene!" "Sarah!" called Dad. "Whoa, time out," he announced right after he hollered at Mom. Pause. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see anyone who'd pissed me off or upset me recently, i.e., everyone in the room. "Okay," Dad said, "Sarah's right, what if something happened?" I shrugged. "I've lived a long time without ID, before I got my license I mean, and so..." I shrugged again. "Unless I was driving, it wasn't going to be a problem, and if I'm driving I'm real careful." "Accidents are not always your fault, Eugene!" Mom protested. "What if someone else got in one with your car!" "Mom! Come on!" I complained, "That's not gonna happen!" "Whoa!" Dad called again, and we both stopped. "Eugene, you are wrong on this one; accidents can happen no matter how good your reflexes are or how much attention you are paying to your surroundings. Sarah, he wasn't thinking about that, or that far ahead; this is why we don't let them vote." Mom and I glared at Dad for a while. "You said," Dad said to me, "that you DON'T have to worry about being beaten up, if you're dressed as a girl, right?" "Uh... Yeah," I agreed. "Why not?" "Um." I thought. "Well, um, it's like, guys, everyone, they don't see me as a target or something; I just disappear into the crowd usually or something like that. Like this, people'll- especially at school, they'll cross the street to pick on me. Like that, they don't." "'That' being as a girl, and 'this' being as a boy?" Mom asked. "Uh. Yeah," I nodded. "Why is that?" "I don't fucking know!" I complained. "I wish I fucking did! Fuck, I think some of it is just fucking habit, they think they can pick on me all the time, and they don't want to give it up!" "Language," Mom said, and I almost told her to fuck off before my baser instincts towards survival kicked in. Besides, she didn't sound that pissed off, which was a little weird. *** 15:44 5 Oct "You said, except for NOT having to worry about being beaten up," Dad rewound. "And then you got interrupted and we went off on a tangent. What were you going to say?" "Uh, what was 'except for not having to worry'?" He frowned, trying to remember. "Um-" "Does being a girl at work or other places bother you?" Mom asked again, and now I remembered something like that. "Oh, yeah..." I shook my head. "No, it doesn't. I mean, it bugs me if I'm, like, doing the guy thing and someone thinks I'm a girl, but that's dangerous. Guys beat up fags, and that's a stereotypical 'fag' thing to do, act girly or something, so they'd take it as a sign from God that I was marked for abuse. And, so far, I mean, I've been lucky and that hasn't happened around someone unfriendly." I shrugged. "I mean, like they'd do anything besides make fun of me and beat me up and stuff, like they do now anyway..." "Eugene," Mom sighed. "Back to the question." "Does being a girl bother me?" She nodded. "Um... No, not really." "Why not?" she asked. Pause. When I got unstunned, I complained, "WHAT?" "It would bother me," Dad mentioned. "Yeah, me too," Brian agreed after a gesture from Mom. "I mean, if someone did that to me I'd kick their-" He stopped after a different gesture and went back into his pillow. "And I don't want to be taken for a man," Mom said. "A- It- Well, it doesn't bother me!" "Why not?" I tried to say something, then something else, then gave up, because nothing would come out. I mean, at all. "I don't know! It just doesn't!" *** 15:54 5 Oct "Is there anyone BESIDES us in this room who DOESN'T know?" Mom complained, sounding bitter. "Yeah, lots of people!" "Like who?!" "Um, Dana, the rest of the family... Most of the kids at school don't know, or I'd be in more sh- uh, having more problems than I am now." "Oh my god," Mom complained to the ceiling. "Oh my god." "He probably knows too," Dad said, and Mom hit him. "None of my friends know," Brian mentioned, "or I'd have heard about it. They just think you're gay." "Your little faggot friends think I'M-" "EUGENE!" Dad barked. "Quiet, and don't be a bigot. You pipe down too," he ordered Brian. "ARE you gay?" Mom asked. "NO!" Brian shrieked, his voice cracking. I almost did too, but I couldn't, quite, and I think the inadvertant pause told them everything they didn't want to know. *** 15:58 5 Oct After a long silence, during which I'd had to get up and blow my nose because I felt very very bad, Dad asked, "Eugene? What makes you think you are?" I trembled for a while, then said, "I don't want to answer that question with Brian in the room." My voice trembled too, I was mildly annoyed to note; I hated sounding like a wimp in front of my parents. It happened often enough, but I still didn't like it. Long pause, during which I studied the overly-familiar carpet in front of me. After a while, I noticed I was rocking again. "Brian, go get us some drinks from downstairs, and knock before you come back in," Mom told him. "I don't think I want to hear this either," Brian agreed as he got up and got out of there quickly, closing the door behind him. Pause. "I changed my mind," I said sickly. "Can, can we not talk about this for a w- Two weeks?" I corrected. It was too painful to deal with right now, I was discovering; and it was getting worse by the second. "Why?!" she demanded. "Please Mom!" I almost sobbed. "Just two weeks, I swear I'll talk about it then, just not now, please?!" "Until the next session with Sheila," Dad bargained, and I nodded frantically. Anything but now- "ARE you homosexual?" Mom asked. "Yessss!" I forced out, and then I was really crying again. Then I went, "Ahh!" because I wasn't expecting to be touched, but it was Mom just kneeling and hugging me, and then I lost it completely. "Eugene, We still love you," she crooned into my ear, but that just made me feel worse. *** 16:22 5 Oct "Sarah, let's call it a day, huh?" Dad suggested, sounding like he had a headache or something. "Yeah, I think so," she agreed. "Eugene, why don't you go lie down before supper?" "Okay," I agreed numbly, and she had to help me up, but I could make it the rest of the way. I ended up falling across the remainder of the laundry, which I was going to finish later, and I think I passed out about that fast. *** 19:23 5 Oct "Wow, you weren't kidding," I mentioned dully; I was still pretty dull from the nap I'd just woken up from. The dining room table was FULL of white cardboard and styrofoam boxes, and for a change it actually smelled good. "What did you get?" "One of everything, I think," Dad grumbled. "I let Brian order." "Dad, you fool," I commented with a vague smile. "Shaddup, kid," he replied casually, and ruffled my hair. *** 21:31 5 Oct "Oh, man," I moaned as I crawled into bed. "I can't decide which is worse, school days or weekends." They were all stressing me out. "Maybe I should've let Sheila lock me up... jus' f'r a couple weeks..." *** 23:17 5 Oct Too much stress had made me stupid; I'd begun to think I could sleep without the nightmares trying to kill me. As I was rubbing my hands, trying to erase the feeling of handcuffs and needles, Brian peeked in, and I had to fight an urge to just slam the door into his face. It hadn't been HIM that had ordered the door permanently broken... "Just another fucking nightmare," I sighed, and Brian left. *** 05:44 6 Oct *Well, if this doesn't do it, nothing will,* I thought with a sigh of contentment. Modified PROM for the BIOS, plus a call-home buried in the Windazed side of the disk, pretty much insured that if my laptop got stolen it'd scream for help, and if it couldn't do that then it would be returned for factory service, and sent back to me. And, everything except the PROM tested out & worked on Niflhelm, my desktop Windoze box. *If only I had my laptop-* Then the fatigue and pain and shame and everything fell on me again, and I wished idly that I was dead, so I wouldn't have to keep carrying it all. *** 06:44 6 Oct "Dad! We have to GO!" I complained, seething. I didn't have car keys any more, and he was SUPPOSED to take me to school since the school buses didn't run this early and it was too far to walk easily. If I'd known he was going to pull this shit, I could've gotten off the systems a couple hours ago and walked and made it on time, if I'd known, which I didn't. He fumbled his way out of his room, cursing and dancing with his pants, and I turned away. *** 06:57 6 Oct He'd sped far too fast for my comfort, but I did make it on time, which I didn't think was going to happen. He also hadn't said anything, which I hadn't imagined either, but was more understandable; he didn't talk much when he was just waking up. The girls were nowhere to be seen, which I wondered at as I got out and sped towards the Industrial Farts building. *** 06:59 6 Oct "Tuck?!" Jill asked, and Kim jerked her head up, looking very startled. "Mike said-" "Not here," I ordered as I sat down. "But if he told you about an eight word message Saturday, it's all true." I was so tired... "We weren't waiting for you outside because, because of that," Kim said carefully. "Oh." I thought a bit. Well, a few bits. "Good idea." "You're shaking," Jill observed, pointing at my hands. I looked, and they were, so I sat on them. "I didn't really have a good weekend," I admitted, with a sickly laugh. *** 08:04 6 Oct "Jeezus, I am tired of hearing about this," I sighed as the speaker droned on about homecoming and all the wonderful things that could happen if only we'd cough up more money for things like tickets and floral arrangements and photography reservations. "Just one more week," Kim tried to console me. "Then we get the Halloween bullshit," Jill reminded her. "Tuck? Are you... Okay?" she asked hesitantly. I sighed deeply. "I dunno. Grounded for three weeks, which means I have no car any more... A fine, and-" "Oh!" Kim startled. "Did Debbie give you your pay?" "No?" Beat. "Why did she have it? I thought that stuff went through you, so we wouldn't have to..." "Uh well, she said she had to go over there to talk to your parents about your job..." Kim looked nervous now. Probably because I was about ready to strangle her. "You LET her?" I hissed, but that got the attention of Mrs. Singley who shushed me, like I was still in grade school. I almost stood up and screamed at her to shut the fuck up, that I had to hear THIS one, but managed to just sort of vibrate the urge away. "It wasn't like I LET her, Val!" she whispered frantically at me. "She just TOLD me she was gonna do it!" I'd never understood why people ground their teeth; I wanted to bite something in those situations. Jill tapped me on the head and hissed, "Stop it!" I turned and glared at her, and she continued at the same low volume, "You're growling!" That was because I wanted to bite something. *** 09:52 6 Oct "Well, at least my nails look really nice," I commented, before making hanging-self motions. "Stopit!" Kim ordered as she slapped my shoulder. "That isn't funny!" "It's gallows humor," I smirked and she hit me again as Jill groaned in pain. *** 09:53 6 Oct "We'll see you at lunch, right?" Jill asked me, looking a little strange. Stranger than usual, I mean. "Yeah, I think so... Yeah, I'll be there," I said more firmly. For one thing, I'd have to explain things to the guys. *** 10:42 6 Oct "Faggot!" The shove sent me spinning sideways into someone else, and I rebounded back into the path of the orc that had shoved me the first time. He shoved me again and I went down that time, but almost reflexively hooked one of my feet behind his knee and shoved the other one hard into his crotch. From the noise he made after that, you'd have thought I'd shot him or something. Luckily, the noise also cleared enough of the casually- kicking feet away from me that I had room to get up, and then I left. Quickly. *** 10:44 6 Oct When I came into Government class, Sabrina and Amanda both looked at me guiltily. "Hey," Amanda said as she quickly put a smile on her face. "What are you two plotting?" I demanded. "Wickedness," Sabrina claimed. "Are you working, still? Debbie wasn't sure... and if I could tell her, you wouldn't have to." "Oh." That made a lot of sense, even to my tired brain. Eventually, anyway. "Yeah, I think so... At least today." "Tomorrow?" Amanda asked. "Man, I have no idea," I sighed. "Dad seems to have calmed down, but Mom..." Even if she had hit the drug locker for Sunday night's interrogation and been calm, she wouldn't STAY that way. "Yeah sure your dad's calmed down," Mike complained as he dropped into his seat. "He's been looking for me." "Wh-" "Surveilling my house for one thing," he answered before I could ask. "Asking my parents where I was... He's got ah pow'r'ful burnin' desahr to have a tawk wi' me," he drawled. I commented, "Oh shit," and Amanda nodded while Sabrina just looked pained. "So what did you tell him?" he demanded crisply, but the bell rang before I could say anything. "What about me?!" Sabrina suddenly spazzed, but I couldn't tell her right now either. *** 11:33 6 Oct "I knew this was gonna get you into shit," George mentioned. "Fuck you, George. What I want to know is, though, who did YOU call?" I asked Mike. "'Cause Debbie showed up at my house Sunday, and-" "Oh, no!" the guys complained. Then Mike glared at Kim. I continued, "And they had a 'nice discussion' about my work and such things. And Dad wouldn't let me leave; he kept intercepting me." "Debbie?" Kim asked. Guiltily, I thought. I angrily affirmed, "Oh YEAH Debbie-" "Look, I HAD to tell her," she explained quickly. "She's officially your boss, and if you started talking about what you- uh, you and her did, and stuff, then, um..." "Then what?" Mike asked calmly when she wilted. "Um... "Thenwhat?!" I demanded. "Well shit Tuck!" she complained, with a great deal of fear behind it. "Your whole family is as psycho as you! I wanted to warn her in case your mom or someone came after HER for dr- uh, this," she just barely corrected. "Great, you warned her," I grumbled. "Fantastic." Kim's eyes were now bugging out a bit. "You don't have to worry about them," Mike told Kim, I guess to be reassuring. "They're not gonna hunt anyone down and torture them or anything like that." "Unless Mom goes completely unilateral," I mentioned, which could be taken as a euphemism for 'acute psychotic' if you knew her. Mike notified me that I shouldn't have said that by the usual method. "What?" Kim complained as I bent down and rubbed my new bruise. "Never MIND," Mike insisted. "Tuck's just being a dork again." "Look, is Debbie in trouble?" Kim demanded. "Shit, ask her!" I complained back. "She showed up at MY house at a REAL bad time; she probably knows whatever trouble she's in better than I do, 'cause I stayed about as far away from that scene as I could get. Is she here today?" I asked. Kim and Amanda both nodded. "Then she's still alive. Mom's not one for delayed assassination; if she wanted Debbie's heart because of Sunday or whatever, she'd have gotten it already." "You are so reassuring," Kim told me. I think it was supposed to be sarcastic. "Hey, Tuck?" Sabrina called from behind us. I looked over my shoulder and she was coming towards us. "Listen, I wanted to know, uh... What do I do about math tutoring?" "Aw hell, I don't even know," I sighed. "Here, lemme give you a couple numbers to call, talk to my dad. If he gets nasty, just hang up on him." I yanked out a piece of paper and started writing numbers. "But I NEED the help!" she whined. "Maybe I can help," Mike said. "I'm only a class behind Tuck. And I speaka da Englitz better dan him." "Um... Thanks," she said with a smile to Mike; I thought it was fake. "I hope I don't need it. Mister Tucker's good." I handed her the paper and wished her luck; I had no idea what Dad or Mom would do. "So what else is gonna happen, Tuck?" George asked. "Fuckifino," I sighed. "Hey, where were you Thursday?" Amanda asked Sabrina. "Rosh Hashana, like I said. Religious holiday; I got to take the day off and go to synagogue the whole day," she sighed to us. "Hooo, what a horrible fate," I said sarcastically. As her face twisted angrily, Mike kicked the SHIT out of my shin, and as I was gasping in pain, announced, "Tucker, don't be a fuckwit. When was the last time YOU spent two hours in church? Happy new year," he said to Sabrina. "Hngh," I agreed and nodded, and tried to figure out if my leg was bleeding from the kick. "So did you do the candles thing?" George asked. I think everyone ended up staring at him, in the awful silence. Kelly finally admitted, "I thought that was Christmas?" *** 11:58 6 Oct It was becoming apparent that we weren't going to play today, and I wished the freshthings would wander off because they weren't cleared for a lot of the things that everyone else wanted to talk about. "Tuck, did you call," Mike started, then yanked my collar over to his neck and whispered, "Travis? Or him call you?" "Erk!" I said, partially from strangulation, and pushed away from Mike. "Shit, I dunno... I was kinda preoccupied this w-" "Check your pager?" he suggested. I looked where I remembered it last, and it wasn't there. Then again, I wasn't wearing a bra today either. "Oh shit... I dunno what I did with it! Fuck... Maybe I dumped it in the bathroom?" "Dumped it?" "In my p- Uh, bag. When Mom wasn't there yet. Oh shit I hope so, I dunno what the hell-" "Huhhhhh boy. Did you mention... this, to your parents during the interrogation?" I shook my head painfully. "It... it hurt too much to talk about. I put it off." "Mention what?" George asked. Trouble usually got his attention. "Tuck," Mike warned. "I am currently in enough shit to drown in," I told Mike. "The LAST thing I need is to tell them more." Mike demanded, "When?" "When what?" Paul asked. I sighed. "I said, uh, next time we saw Sheila." "You SAID?" Mike gasped. "You set a TIME?" I shrugged. "Damn, mano!" he crowed happily, slapping me on the back, "I thought you'd never start thinking ahead!" "What are you guys talking about?" Paul imagined he wanted to know. "Besides, I don't know what the hell's going on," I sighed, feeling sick again. "I can't talk to them until I figure that out." "I can talk to him after school," Mike offered. "What?" This was truly unusual. "Bet yer dad won't think to look there," he chuckled a bit. "If he's surveilling you, he could tail you there," I reminded him. "I don't think he's that good. Besides, I got several hours to get rid of him, right?" "I guess," I sighed doubtfully. There was just enough of a pause for Kelly to distract me with an almost-shriek of, "Dance? What do you mean I have to go to a dance?!" "You HAVE to come," Kim assured her. "Besides, we're taking Tuck," Jill smirked. "You ever think of asking me first?" I complained. Anne Marie, Jill's little sister, asked politely, "Would you please come with us?" I stared at her in shock for a moment, then complained, "Where are you all coming from today?!" The freshthings seemed to be budding or something this morning. "Maybe it's the pheromones," Paul smirked. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. "That'd be Tuck," George agreed. "Oh fuck," I mentioned, which got me everyone's attention. "My ass is still completely and utterly grounded for three weeks. I can't come. My parents," I said over the groaning, "keep a closer eye on me around prime time, and by the time they'd go to bed, the dance is over." I guessed I'd blocked it out. "You said you were grounded this morning," Jill groaned. "Tuck, I'm sorry... I forgot." "S'okay..." It wasn't okay, but that wasn't Jill's fault. *** 13:12 6 Oct I was completely shocked by the cold/wet that hit my neck, and so missed the golden moment when I could've maybe dislodged the coke someone had upended and shoved inside the back of my shirt collar before I got too wet. But I missed, and ended up getting completely drenched. I whipped around when I could move, looking for the one laughing, but everyone who'd been behind me was laughing their ass off. *** 14:04 6 Oct I headed to the rendezvous point as fast as I could, getting out of the building in favor of the maneuvering room outside, even though that meant I had to run around two sides of the main building before I got there. Dad, stunningly, was waiting there for me, instead of it being Mom and fifteen minutes late. "Oh man," I sighed, and hustled over to the car. "How was-" "I hate this fucking school; pop the back so I can get a towel to put over the seat," I told him. "Someone dumped a coke down my back shirt." "Just-" "An hour ago, it's still sticky, open the fucking tail!" I screamed as I lost it. He did, but he also got out to guard me and watch my backtrail as I fumbled with the big plastic box that held emergency gear, finally finding a towel sealed in a ziplock. I unpacked it as I ran around to the passenger side, and shoved the purse that was sitting in the seat to the floor so I could put the towel down so we could get the hell out of there ASAP. *** 14:09 6 Oct "What purse?" I finally realized. "You left that in our room after the first session," Dad said neutrally, the first words he'd said since we left school. I whipped over and glared at him, but he had a neutral expression on his face, too, as he watched the road. I reached down slowly and picked it up... then put it back down. It could stay where it was. "Where's Mom?" I asked, suspicious now. "We had another discussion, and we decided that she was, hmmm... Not in the mood to watch you while you babysit today." "Oh g- WATCH ME? WHILE I babysit?!" I complained. "Oh no, no no no no-" "Oh yes," Dad nodded. "Quiet. Even if she doesn't want to, I have to see some more of this in action. I'm... I don't know how you can DO this." "Dad it's just CLOTHES-" "No," he shook his head, "it is not. It's not your medical problems either. And you can do it, somehow, and if Beth Parker was any indication, you do it almost as well as you think you do." I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not. "So," he said as he adjusted himself in his seat a bit, "I want to watch this at closer range, for a while." "No, Dad! What if you mess up?" I whined, truly afraid of this. "What do I call you normally?" he asked with a glance my way. "What?" "Tucker, right?" "Ye-" "That's your last name, isn't it?" Pause. The asshole had actually THOUGHT about this. "What if you say 'he' or something?" "Good grief, Tuck," he complained, like I should know the answer to this already, "parents with more than one kid do that sort of thing all the time. Remember Bill Cosby? 'You! Tell me your name, and don't you lie to me because I'll find out!'," he quoted at me, ending with a chuckle I didn't feel. "Besides, she's expecting us." "She who?!" "Beth Parker-" "WHY?!" I accidentally screamed. "Quiet!" he ordered sharply. "Because she wasn't sure if you were going to be working today, remember? So, I called her today, to check on some things, and she said she stayed home today, in case..." "Oh god," I moaned over whatever he was driveling on with. "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime," he quoted at me. I debated how long I would be sentenced to prison for, for patricide with the current set of extenuating circumstances including old cliches. Longer, I decided, than the grounding would last. Damnit. Pause. "Where am I going?" he asked. "What?" "Where do you store your clothes? I assume that you have more than one set?" "D- Y- Wh- B- No reprisals," I finally uttered after a mental train wreck. "What?" he asked back. "No reprisals, remember?" "Agreed," he agreed. "And there's a bag of stuff in the back seat, that you also didn't take with you to school today." I looked back, and there was indeed a plastic garbage bag with stuff in it. "Like those fake..." "Boobs?" I smirked, enjoying his apparent discomfort. I'd had far too much of my own lately; I was glad to see someone else in distress. *** 14:23 6 Oct "You have a key?" he asked as I used it to open the door. "I have to get in and out when they aren't home," I told him. "Besides," I started, and then remembered that I'd left my laptop here Friday night, and I ended up running up the stairs to make sure it was still there. It was. "Oh man," I sighed, sick with relief. "What was that all- Oh," he said when he saw me and the laptop case. "You left it here?" Eventually I could get out, "I didn't want to take it to a mall on a Friday night." I was really post-panicked at the moment. *** 14:30 6 Oct When I opened the bathroom door, still dripping, Dad asked, "So what are you going to-" "Dad, do we have to pick Ricky up?" I asked, interrupting. "Or is Miz Parker gonna do it?" The water and lack of people had actually enabled me to concentrate for a few minutes, and I'd found this lying around in my head. His eyebrows bobbled. "Uh-" "Call her," I demanded, "If we have to pick him up at school, we are leaving in ten minutes." He saluted me, I suppose as a joke. "Go!" I ordered, and he got. *** 14:33 6 Oct *What the hell do I wear?* This was not as easy a question to answer as usual. Not only did I have to worry about babysitting and what's clean, but there was my dad to consider. Thinking about that made the room spin, but I held onto the clothes rod and kept thinking. If I went too out-there, he'd freak; if I went too 'normal', it was more likely he'd screw up the names. It took me a couple of minutes to decide, but I got a floral-print heavy top and one of my shortalls, which ought to be warm enough for the various dashes to and from warmed-up cars. Those plus long 'trouser socks', which I was not nor had I ever worn with trousers or slacks, plus my trusty flats, ought to be enough to tip the scales even in Dad's rather thick head. *** 14:41 6 Oct Locking the bedroom door had kept him out - I did not feel like changing while he was watching. I could tell he wanted to watch by the way he kept jiggling the doorknob. I also really didn't want him screwing up the phone call to Miz Parker, not after all the shit this weekend about me working there. And a distraction, like watching me stuff fake boobs into a bra I was wearing, was just the sort of thing to get him to screw up on the phone. "Stop trying to look at me naked and let's go," I announced when I opened the door and yanked the knob out of his hands. He took a couple steps backwards and tried to look innocent or something. "What did she say?" "Uh..." He was staring at me. "Whatdidshesay?!" "Uh, yeah, if we can pick him up..." "Then," I sighed, "let's fucking GO!" "What the hell is-" "I have a JOB to do, and YOU are INTERFERING with it!" I reminded him. "If we have to pick him up, he expects me there at three. And I don't want to leave him there too long," I remembered as I gathered my stuff up, including the laptop. "I think he gets picked on or something if I do." "You wanna drive?" he asked, and I yanked his keys away from him before he could take them back, and then I was aiming for the front door. *** 14:53 6 Oct "Would you stop staring at me?" "I can't believe you," he said, shaking his head. "What? So I'm not driving like a maniac, so-" "You look almost like your sister," he mentioned, and at the reminder of the girl thing, I started to flush hard. "It's... Eugene, this-" "DAD! DAMNIT!" I yelled at him. "That is EXACTLY why I didn't want you to come! Shit... can you just leave me there and pick me up at seven?" I panted in horror. "I will not make that mistake again," he said solemnly. "Valerie." I guess he said that to show me he knew what to call me... when he was thinking about it. "Oh god," I moaned. I WANTED to believe him; but I didn't think he'd done it a minute ago on purpose either. Best of all, of course, would be if he would just go away, and let me babysit in peace. "May I finish?" he demanded. "Yeah, go on..." Pause. "Now I can't remember what I was going to say," he complained. "Aw jeez!" *And I'm stuck with this the rest of the day?* *** 15:02 6 Oct Ricky didn't come rushing up to the car, and I had developed a bad mood, for some reason. Haha. So I got out of the car, took a deep breath, let it out and cleared my throat, took another deep breath, and screamed, "RICKYYYYY! FRONT AND CENTER! NOW!" "And you sound like Susan when y-" "Dad, shut the hell up." Finally, Ricky appeared out of the mass of seething prepubescents, and I waved at him until he changed bearing towards us. "I'll drive there," Dad told me. "'Kay, whatever," I said as I went around the car, still concentrating on Ricky. "Hey sport!" "Hey," he sighed. "Who's that?" he asked suspiciously. 'Some pervert who's kidnapping me; go call the cops!' flashed through my mind, and I had to bite my lip to restrain it. "Um, my dad. I'm grounded, and he thinks he has to take me to work and school and stuff. It's a rule at our house," I corrected. "What did you do?" "I'm NOT telling you, neither is he, and your mom doesn't know so don't ask her either," I said as I opened the back door for him. "And if you start guessing out loud, I'll tie your neck in a knot." "Shotgun!" he shrieked. "Awwww..." *SHIT!* That was how the entire damned day had- No, the entire WEEK had been going. I was starting to feel like my astrological house had moved into the sign of Wrong Way. "Get in the stupid car." "Haaaaa!" he jeered at me, and I almost stuffed him in the glove compartment. *** 15:22 6 Oct "Hi Miz Parker," I sighed as I came in. "Hi Valerie!" she smiled at me. "Why the-" "Good afternoon," Dad said as he came in and shut the front door behind me. I pointed covertly at Dad to show her why, and she nodded a bit as she stood up to do whatever adults did for politeness. I had to get some food into Ricky before he died of starvation, so I just proceeded into the kitchen. *** 15:24 6 Oct "What-" "Ahhh!" "-ya fixin'?" Dad finished. "I'm fixing to die of shock," I gasped as I leaned against the counter. "Gee," Dad said innocently, "you seem nervous today." "Ican'tpossiblyimaginewhyI'dbenervous!" I accidentally yelled at him. He stared at me and ordered, "How about some fruit and cheese out front? We're hungry," and then left before I could find anything good to throw at him. *** 15:31 6 Oct "Valer-" "Ahhh!" "I'm sorry," Miz Parker apologized. "S'okay, I'm just on edge today," I apologized. "Did you want something?" "Would it be okay with you if I ran some errands for the gallery?" she asked. "Uh, yeah, sure... Why wouldn't it be?" She made a face and pointed back to the front of the house, which I didn't understand. "Uh, your father?" she amplified quietly, which I got. "Um, sure... He's just getting on my nerves, I mean, it's not like he's gonna beat me in front of Ricky or anything like that," I said. "On the other hand, if you'd rather ME run the errands for you..." She made a sad face like she'd like to help but had to say no. *** 16:03 6 Oct "Ricky?" I thought he'd be up front trying to wheedle what I'd done out of my dad. Which, if he did, would be the perfect excuse to kill everyone in the house and become a fugitive. "Sup?" I asked instead of heading for the Open Road. "He turned on CNN and he's working on HIS laptop," he sighed as he plopped down in a chair. "I'm bored." "Wanna help cook?" "I'm not that bored. What are you doing?" "Working on my homework," I lied. I was working on booby-trapping my laptop, is what I was doing. If Dad burned the PROM tonight, I'd be all set, except for installing the stupid thing. *** 17:44 6 Oct I hadn't seen either of them for a while, so when I got to a pause in cooking, I went to look for one or both of them. Actually, I wasn't so hot on finding Dad, but Mom would probably be even more pissed with me if I lost him than she had been Friday night. When I found them, I almost wet myself. "DAD! WHAT are you DOING?!" "Jeez, just teaching him how to play cards-" he got out before I could recover and get over to the coffee table and confiscate everything. I could just see Miz Parker going, 'You let WHO do WHAT to MY CHILD?!' "Oh my god, I leave you alone for twenty minutes and I can't BELIEVE the trouble you get in-" "You know what?" Dad interrupted. "You sound just like your mother when you do that." *** 17:47 6 Oct "Is he gonna ground you more for kicking him?" Ricky asked. "He can't ground me without Mom's permission, and if he tells her about this one, she'd laugh at him," I answered, and decided that the Parkers were going to have a salad tonight. I felt like using a knife for a while. *** 18:32 6 Oct "How come you never cook like this at home?" Dad complained. "A, I do every Sunday, and B, you don't pay me enough to do it every day," I snapped back. "You're in a mood." "Get out!" He left. I almost threw a bell pepper at him, but I was shaking a little too hard to pick it up before he got past the door. *** 19:13 6 Oct "I didn't realize," Dad said after several nasty minutes of silence in the car, "just how... How far, this had gone." I stared out the window, not replying. "What did you think you were doing?" he asked casually. "Both adults spoke highly of you... and I don't think they have the least idea of what's going on." "I told you I was good. But you never listen to me." "You don't ever listen to me any more either," he lied. "Why the risk? Why there, of all places?" "I like the job, and I like the family, okay? They don't give me a lot of grief, and... and it works, it meshes. I can do what they don't want to do, and they pay me more money than I'd get somewhere else for the same stuff." "Girl's-" "What the fuck is the goddamned difference?" I complained, now facing him. "You wore a suit and tie for a few years! What the hell is the difference?" "Gender," he said simply, and that took me a while to figure out. "Maybe it's different for me than it is for you," I complained as I turned back to the window. "I KNOW that," he said, softly exasperated. "One of the questions which you haven't answered yet, is WHY is it different?" I sighed deeply. "You need to think about that." "Shut up," I muttered. *** 20:44 6 Oct I'd wondered where Mom was, since she wasn't around, but finally I found out, when I aurally detected her crying in her bedroom. I guessed that was where Dad had ended up too. I went to my room, shut the door, and wondered if I could ever fix this mess. *** 21:01 6 Oct I actually had email again. This one was from Mike. he'd written an hour ago. "Well, it didn't come up!" I complained loudly back at the email. he continued. "Well, shit..." I didn't think I needed to cry again, but I was already. *** 00:16 7 Oct At least I hadn't screamed this time, when Travis spat on me and everyone started laughing... *** 00:33 7 Oct I had stopped crying after about twenty minutes, so I went to shower and stuff. It wouldn't make me feel better, but I might smell better after a good scrub. *** 00:57 7 Oct "Oh man oh man oh man..." Dad had burned the PROM, sometime, and now all I had to do was take the laptop apart, pull the old one, install the new one, make sure it worked, then reassemble the 3D jigsaw puzzle into a working computer. In five hours. "Yes! Life is good..." *** 06:16 7 Oct *And a change of clothes, or at least a shirt, inside the pack for padding... Add a towel too,* I decided. *Can't hurt to know where that is. Underwear,* I decided as well. I was feeling psychically sticky after yesterday afternoon, and I didn't want to feel that way again for that long. *** 06:38 7 Oct "You again?" I asked as Dad came mumbling out of their bedroom. He said something nasty at me, so I told him, "Give me your keys so I can warm up the car." He did, and I did, and waited for him to get there. Leaving without him was tempting; on the other hand, I had little doubt that he'd do something rude as punishment, like get me busted for grand theft auto. *** 06:49 7 Oct "It work?" Dad asked after a long silence. "Huh?" "PROM?" "Oh yeah!" I enthused. "Boots fine, password is fine, loads good, works with the tracer program, both ends... Worked on it most of the night, but man, it works!" "Ung, great," he nodded dazedly. He wasn't awake yet, but I thought he'd be impressed when he did wake up finally; which is why I'd left him some notes and source and suchlike in files. *** 06:57 7 Oct "When I'm grounded," I explained, "or any of us, the 'rents take us to and from work. And sometimes they stay there, and watch what we're doing." "Aw MAN!" Jill complained bitterly, like she had anything to worry about. "Sabrina chickened out last night too," Kim mentioned as she played with her coffee. "I think she called and left a message, but she said she was too scared to show up." "What... Is there anything we can do?" Jill asked me again. I'd thought of one thing. "Yeah. If they wanna talk to you about me, avoid 'em. They're good at interrogating, and I... I think I told them enough of the basics, but..." I shrugged. "I HAVE been doing this for almost a year, and I hadn't been keeping a fucking logbook, so I could've missed some things, and Mom could use one or more of those as an excuse." They just looked sad, or melancholy. "Hey, could've been worse; you could've been there when Mom caught me, and then you'd still be locked in the basement or being interrogated." "If you weren't so fucking optimistic about things I'd be worried about you," Kim snapped, and got a cuff from Jill. "It's my cheerful and carefree nature," I shot back, and then the bell rang, so all she could do was kick me for a reply. *** Few parents nowadays pay any regard to what their children say to them. The old-fashioned respect for the young is fast dying out. - Oscar Wilde Distribution: No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another person or group. Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic means, as long as the entirety of the work (from the BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE header to the END PGP SIGNATURE footer) is distributed, and credit is given to the original author, me. And no fee may be charged. Archiving is permitted provided no fee is charged for access. All rights reserved. + @>--,--'----- Ellen Hayes o===[-------- __ vicki .sig + -=[1990]=- \/ virus 12.2 + http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes PGP key: EFC9 5D55 (1996) + -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.2 iQCVAwUBP8t8JHYDebnvyV1VAQH6swQApmm9xRrslAoOTWgFKq5IhWsf+XrxOvE9 sMtrmbKJP9VZDmZC0VhY/ZgoC4nIrUsWcGvwWTmvwsWPShiSwlH4E3SOIDJjbvbq Zlrp+6CWByqudu/BoyGwU8va2k9GUoBps/YblxDPMaRa4KZrgs1zUz0LyojrAX3q V/pPbi9+rwQ= =UnOZ -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----