by MonicaS <MonicaS@innocent.com>
I was woken by the doorbell at 6:30 a.m. on that Sunday in November 1997 which changed my life completely. I was in my senior year in college then, majored in business and expected to graduate in summer. I lived on my own in a small apartment. At the door was my 19 years old sister, Rebecca, and she was very nervous.
"Sorry that I disturbed your sleep, but I couldn't wait," she said when she came into my apartment. "I had a vision."
"About me?" I asked a little worried and she nodded.
I wasn't that surprised that Rebecca had a vision, she has them quite often. But it must be serious if she's so nervous and has to come to me this early in the morning.
My sister has had visions since she was a little girl and they nearly always come true. Well, one part of the visions at least. Her visions always consist of two parts and only one of them really happens. For example she once saw Mom sitting in the park feeding ducks and a robber stealing Mom's handbag. Rebecca was still very young then and we didn't believe im her visions yet. Besides not everything she saw came true after all. So a few days later Mom went through a park while shopping and thought about feeding the ducks, but then she decided she hadn't enough time and so continued shopping. Well, a short time later a robber grabbed her bag and took off with it. If she had spent some more time in the park the robber probably would have stolen some other bag. After that event we recognized the pattern and usually avoided the worse part of her visions.
Some very few times we managed to avoid both parts of Rebecca's visions, at least we think so. For example my sister saw a dog getting killed by a car and then that we took the dog home and kept it. A few days later we really saw a lost dog and debated what we should do. It would be hard to care for it as we all were quite busy and we didn't have any garden. We knew though that if we'd do nothing the dog would be killed with high probability. So we actually took the dog home but then brought it to the animal pound so that either the real owner or a new home could be found. Some months later we checked on the dog and found out he had a new home and was still alive.
And now my sister had had a vision again and it seemed to disturb her very much.
"What did you see?" I asked her when we sat down in my living room.
"I'm sorry, but I've seen your gravestone. It said Dennis L. Wagner, born 14th February 1976, died 3rd November 1998. Mom and me stood at your grave and mourned you."
"Oh no!" That was a schock. "What was the other part?"
"It was a Christmas scene, you, Mom, me and another woman sitting at a Christmas tree. But you were not a man but a woman."
"A Woman? Did I dress up as a woman for Christmas?"
"No you weren't just dressing up. You looked, moved and behaved like a real woman. Much more feminine than you could ever be now."
"But how? I'm a man after all and never even dressed up as a woman."
We drove together to Mom who lived one hour away to discuss this with her. It was certainly serious and it would be better to get all the input possible.
Mom was shocked too of course when she heard about Rebecca's vision. She had lost Dad only a year ago and the concept of losing her son too now was nearly too much. But I had a way out at least, even though I didn't know yet how to manage it.
We all had heard about transsexuals, so there was a possibility to become a woman. But that certainly wouldn't be easy and not possible to do until Christmas which was only a few weeks away. But the second part of the vision didn't have to happen that year, after all the first part would happen about a year later too. So we all agreed that it would be enough to be a woman on 3rd November 1998. We briefly thought if I could somehow get out of it like we did with the dog some years ago, but we saw no possibility and the risk of dying was too big anyway. Better to be an alive woman than a dead man.
So I had nearly a year for me to become a woman, but we decided it would be best to start as soon as possible. I would research about transsexuals as I had done quite some research on the Internet already. My sister thought that I should do something more practical too. She wanted me to dress up as woman right away, so that I would get used to it. Reluctantly I agreed, after all she was right.
Rebecca started right away by getting a tape measure, ordering me to disrobe and taking all kinds of measurements.
"Good," she said, "you're not much taller than me, only a little wider at waist and chest and a little narrower at the hips. Quite some of my clothes should fit you. Now go into the bathroom to shower and shave your beard and legs."
"Shave my legs?"
"Sure, pantyhose doesn't look that good on hairy legs."
"Yes, better get used to them right away."
Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. So I did as I was ordered. While I was busy Mom and Rebecca selected clothes for me to wear from those my sister left at Mom's while she was studying in the city. So when I came out of the bathroom I stood in front of a pile of female clothes.
With some help I dressed as a woman: panties, bra stuffed with some socks, tan pantyhose, a short black skirt and a red sweater. I had no shoes though as my feet were too large for either Mom's or Rebecca's shoes. My hair was too short for a woman and I had no makeup either, but that was soon corrected as I was directed to the vanity. My mother and sister showed me how to apply makeup, but insisted I do the actual applying myself, after all they wouldn't always be around to do it for me. After many corrections they finally approved of the result for now.
When I looked at the result in a full length mirror I was disappointed though. I didn't see a woman, but a man in women's clothes and with makeup. This certainly needed a lot more work. But then I had nearly a year left to get perfect. And the short hair certainly didn't help.
Mom saw my disappointed look and said, "Don't worry, this is just the first try, and with a wig it'll look a lot better anyway. Besides you don't wear any jewelry either."
"Ah yes," added Rebecca, "You'll have to get your ears pierced so you can wear nice earrings."
"Oh yeah, what else will I have to do?" I replied.
"We'll see as you go on. Ah yes, you need a female name."
"Hmm, I don't know. Mom, what name would you have given me if I'd been born a girl?"
"We didn't select any female name because we knew you're a boy before you were born," Mom said. "But how about 'Denise'? It's close to your male name."
"Yes, I like 'Denise' too," Rebecca said after a little thinking.
"Okay, sounds good. So I'll be Denise," I agreed. "Well, I guess I can remove this all now then." Somehow I was uncomfortable in this outfit.
"Oh no, Denise, you're far from finished yet," my sister replied. "You have a lot to learn still, like how to move like a woman. And besides it's best you wear women's clothes as much as you can so that it feels natural soon."
That resulted in practicing sitting, standing and walking like a woman, and I was happy I didn't wear heels yet like my sister told me I'd do soon. Finally it was time to go back to the city though, so I removed the makeup and clothes and dressed as me again. Rebecca packed quite some of her makeup and clothes including some nighties though, so that I could dress in them when I was at home.
I was glad I lived alone, because I must have looked hilarious in my nighty the next morning. But soon I was dressed in male clothes again and on my way to college. When I had some time I searched for transsexual resources on the Internet and got overwhelmed. There were thousands of pages and I had a hard time to find those who really had information I could use. I learned quite a lot about transsexuals anyway.
When I came home I didn't really want to dress up again, but I knew it was necessary. So I selected what seemed to be an acceptable combination of clothes and dressed in them. Then I used some makeup too which took much more time than I liked. After that I spent the rest of the evening as a woman, well, as close of an approximation as I could, but I hardly felt like a woman.
The next day Rebecca took me shopping. First we went into a wig shop where we were served by an older lady. When I told her nervously that I looked for a wig for me she reassured me by saying that quite some crossdressers and transsexuals were buying wings at her shop. It was quite worth the little embarrassment to go there, because they had a big selection of good wigs and I could try them on to find one which really was right for me. It was the same blond as my own hair and shoulder length.
Next my sister took me into a shoe store. Here we were not the only customers though. But then I had to get used to that. I didn't expect to be able to become a woman without a time of being in-between, where I would be recognized as a man wearing female clothes. So when a young saleswoman approached us and asked if she could help us I nervously told her I'd need women's shoes.
"Women's shoes for you, sir? Umm, sure. Do you know your size?"
I wasn't sure, so she measured my feet and declared me a size 10. She asked me what style I wanted and Rebecca told her I'd need a pair of casual flats and some more dressy pumps, both black. The saleswoman then showed us several shoes.
"Um, may I ask why you need women's shoes?" she asked me while I tried them on.
"Well, I'm a transsexual and I want to become a woman," I replied. That was close enough to the real truth.
"Oh, that must be hard. I saw some report on TV about transsexuals. But you're cute, you'll make a pretty woman," she said smiling.
"Thanks, you're very nice. Somehow I expected a lot worse reactions."
Just at that moment a man walked by and mumbled "Damn fags!" when he saw me trying on women's shoes. So much for good reactions. Besides I wasn't a homosexual anyway.
"I'm sorry, some people are just stupid. Don't let that get to you. You're always welcome here. By the way, my name is Emily."
"Thank you, I'm Dennis. Well, soon Denise. And this is my sister Rebecca."
Emily seemed genuinely interested and asked a lot questions about what I had to do to become a woman. I told her that I was just starting and still researching and probably needed a lot of practice before I could go on the street as a woman. And then she offered to help me. I liked Emily and so I accepted. We exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet on Sunday.
I finally ended up buying 3 pairs of shoes: flats, low heeled pumps and 4" high stiletto heels. I was very wobbly in the high heels and nearly fell over when I tried to stand up, but Rebecca said I'd get used to them.
The following days I researched on the net again and dressed up at home in the evenings. Twice my sister came over to help me, but she had her own life too. With the wig I looked much more womanly and I didn't feel so ridiculous anymore.
* * *
Sunday I was very nervous. It would be the first time somebody besides my family would see me in women's clothes. I debated if I should receive her dressed as a woman, but I thought she'd like to see each step of the transformation. When Emily arrived we didn't start right away but first talked for some time. After all we didn't know much of each other. She was actually a year younger than me and still lived with her family. She didn't have the luck to have rich parents like me and so couldn't go to college full-time, but she took some evening courses. We found out that we had quite some common interests and I liked her more and more.
Finally we started my transformation. Of course putting on clothes wasn't that special, but she had some makeup tips that my Mom and sister didn't know of. She helped me selecting accessories which improved my outfit a lot in the end. So finally I stood in front of her in a blue dress, dark hose and my black pumps. A wide belt, a silk scarf and some bracelets completed the look.
"Denise, you're really pretty," Emily said and then hugged me.
I blushed and then hugged her back. "Thank you, but ..."
"No 'but', you are pretty."
And then she kissed me. Not only a peck, but a really intimate kiss. And I kissed her back.
When we separated we were both a little embarrassed, but I didn't regret it at all. We were getting hungry and so we ordered some food. It was a romantic dinner with candlelight and wine. With her smiling at me I felt comfortable in female clothes for the first time.
After dinner I modeled some more of the clothes my sister had given me. Even though Rebecca had tried to select clothes which would fit me some of them didn't look that good on me, and they were all used of course. So Emily suggested that we go shopping the following Wednesday as that was her day off. Then it was time for her to leave and we kissed again as good-bye.
* * *
Shopping with Emily on Wednesday afternoon was nice. I was less nervous this time as I didn't have to try on all the clothes, because I knew my sizes from the clothes I had already. The few clothes I had to try on I snug into the changing cubicle and only wore there, with Emily looking in of course. Then she led me into the lingerie section. I needed more underwear too of course, but she insisted on buying lacy bras and panties and even garter belts and stockings. She said she liked her girlfriends to be sexy and winked at me.
After our shopping spree we ate a little at a restaurant, but then it was time to say goodbye. We agreed to meet again on Sunday though.
At home I changed into my new clothes, but when I wore the lacy lingerie the look was disturbed very much by the socks I used as false breasts. On the net I had read about silicone breast forms and found a shop in the city that catered to crossdressers and transsexuals, so I decided to go there the following day.
I was shopping alone this time, but then this store would be sympathetic to my needs. The shop assistant actually was very nice and showed me the breast form models they had. After I selected a pair I asked if they had something to reduce the bulge in the crotch area and got a gaff for that.
The next Sunday I surprised Emily by greeting her in my most sexy outfit, a red top and, tight black miniskirt, black stockings and my 4" heels. I had practiced a lot so that I could walk quite fine in the stiletto heels. Emily was pleasantly surprised and we couldn't stop kissing each other. Then Emily surprised me by pulling me into my bedroom and saying "I want you! Right now!"
Soon I was laying on the bed and Emily removed my skirt and top. Then she had another pleasant surprise when she saw my smooth crotch and well formed breasts in my lacy, black underwear. I removed her clothes too and we made love like two women. We kissed us everywhere. I removed her panties and kissed her pussy too. Finally she turned around, removed my panties and the gaff and then she took my cock into her beautiful mouth. We were pleasuring each other until we both had a wonderful orgasm.
"I love you," I told Emily.
"I love you too," she replied and then we kissed each other for the longest time.
After we regained our breath Emily suggested to go out, with me as woman. I didn't feel ready for that yet. My girlfriend, and Emily certainly was my girlfriend now, persuaded me to go for a walk at least. Besides it was getting dark anyway and nobody would recognize me. So I dressed in some casual clothes and we went for a stroll through the neighborhood. I was nervous of course, but after several people walked by and didn't notice anything special I felt better. We were holding hands and even kissed each other when nobody was in sight.
I was so happy that I had done my first steps as a woman in public, because it increased my confidence a lot. I felt a little more comfortable in women's clothes now too, but my girlfriend's acceptance and love certainly helped a lot there. I was still worried if I could survive as a woman, or if I'd miss being a man. And I didn't want to lose my cock either. But that wasn't really necessary. Many transsexuals lived as woman with a cock and I doubt that that little detail would be important in Rebecca's vision. Besides I had read that one whole year of a so called Real Life Test had to be absolved before a transsexual could get a sex change operation, and I didn't have a year left.
For now I was happy, and I showed it to my girlfriend by pulling her into the bedroom for another round of sex. The evening was over much too early though and Emily had to go home again. But not without a big kiss and a promise from me to go out somewhere the next Saturday.
* * *
On the Internet I had found a list with support groups for transsexuals and contacted one that met in the city. They had meetings on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of each month. The next one was the following week and I decided to go there then.
Another thing bothered me: my voice. It certainly wasn't female. Fortunately I found a voice training tape on the net and ordered it. There were some samples and I downloaded them to start my voice training as soon as possible.
On Saturday I prepared myself to go out as a woman at first, but then I got big doubts. Last Sunday I had been in the dark always, but this time I'd be in lightened rooms. And there'd certainly people who would recognize me as a man and some of them might react badly then. And I didn't know where I should go anyway. I couldn't go to my usual hangouts of course, as I wasn't ready to out myself yet. So I called her to cancel, but she was on her way already.
When she arrived she was disappointed of course, but she said she could understand that I was afraid. Then she suggested we go out anyway, but with me as man. I was glad that getting ready to go out didn't nearly take as much time for a man as for a woman, so that my girlfriend didn't have to wait long and we were on our way for a fun night out.
When we came home we went straight into my bedroom. Emily had packed a bag to stay over, so we had all night. But when I wanted to make love to her she wasn't as enthusiastic as the week before. Only when I put on my wig, female underwear and breast forms did I see that glow in her eyes again. And that glow was well worth it.
* * *
Sunday morning was the first time for much too long that I didn't wake up alone. I dressed as a woman again of course, but casually in jeans and sweater. We spent the whole day together, snuggling a lot, and making love too. Emily even managed to get me out for a stroll before it was really dark, which was a confidence booster as it went all fine.
Of course the day was over much too soon. But at least my girlfriend had agreed to come with me to that support group meeting the next Thursday, so we would meet again soon.
* * *
Tuesday the voice training tape arrived and I spent quite some time using the lessons on it from then on.
In the evening the doorbell rang suddenly. I was dressed as a woman as usual now. My friends usually called when they wanted to visit me. I was very worried if I should open the door. Finally I said to myself that at some time it would come out anyway. When I opened I was very glad that it was my sister though.
Rebecca complimented me on my look and then I had to tell her everything that happened the last two weeks. Well, I didn't actually tell her I had sex with Emily, but I think she could guess. She was glad that things progressed well and offered her help again, but at that moment I had all the help I needed.
* * *
Finally it was Thursday and I had to get ready for the support group. I chose a casual dress and the low heeled pumps. I wanted to appear feminine, but not overdo it. Emily liked my choice.
When it was time to leave I got nervous again. I'd have to go out in bright daylight and then I'd have to meet several people as a woman and talk with them with my deep voice. But they would be sympathetic of course, as they had the same problem as me. Well, mostly. They didn't have a vision that said, "You'll die if you don't become a woman." But then I had read that transsexuals often committed suicide, so it was a matter of life or death for some of them too.
I got into the car without being seen and we were on our way. Emily had to hold my hand to calm me down though when we reached the destination and I had to go into the meeting room. There were several women and a few men there already or arrived shortly after us. A lot of the women were recognizable as transsexuals (or crossdressers) and most men looked rather boyish. The clothes ranged from casual to evening wear and the age from about 20 to 50.
One woman approached me. "Hello, you two must be new here," she greeted us. "My name is Hellen Francis and I'm the president of our support group. Welcome here."
"Thank you," I said in my not so female voice, "I think we phoned last week. I'm Denise and this is my girlfriend Emily."
"Yes, I remember you. Well, as you can see we're quite a mixed crowd. Today we first have a lecture about the different methods of beard removal, then some general discussion and after that most of us go to a bar for a nice evening among friends."
She then gave me some information material and a membership form. After that she introduced us to some other members of the group. They all made me feel welcome and we chatted a little. Then it was time for the lecture.
The lecture had quite some useful information. It seemed traditional electrolysis was still better than the new laser treatment. I got some address for a good and cheap electrolysist too.
After the formal part was over we joined the members who went to a nearby bar. In the group I felt comfortable and secure, even though I knew that I'd probably be recognized as a man, especially if I said something. But the people here must be used to transsexuals and crossdressers by now.
The chat with the others was nice and informative. I got recommendations for a shrink and endocrinologist (that are the doctors who administer hormones) and some other places to go out to. I even got invited to join some of them on Saturday. Emily and me accepted and this time I'd really go out as a woman. After all I was out as a woman now already and I had got quite some compliments on my looks.
The next day was a workday, so the evening ended quite early. The next support group meeting would be in four weeks as it was Christmas in two weeks.
* * *
Friday I made appointments with the shrink and electrolysist whom I got recommended. The electrolysist had time the next Wednesday because of a cancellation, but the shrink was busy until 5th January. Well, Christmas was probably a bad time to start.
Saturday the evening out as woman was nice, but when I left my apartment I met a neighbor on the stairs. He looked strangely at me but didn't say anything. Well, that was supposed to happen at some time.
I spent Sunday with Emily again and she pulled me out for a walk again. When we were at a cinema she saw that a movie she'd like to watch showed there. Well, it is dark in a cinema anyway, so I agreed. Of course I forgot that there is a lot of light before the movie begins. But then I'd have to learn to be in public. Emily told me that I looked just fine and nobody would guess I'd be male. And really, nobody noticed.
Wednesday I had my first electrolysis setting and I experienced why the other transsexuals called it zapping. Ouch! And I would have to do that every week for at least 2 years.
It was Thursday, only one week before Christmas, when my sister visited me again. We chatted a little and then she suddenly got serious.
"Does Emily's family know about you? Did you see them already?" she asked.
"No, I didn't meet them yet and they don't know about me, at least not about Denise. Her parents know that she has a boyfriend though."
"But do you intend to visit them soon?"
"Hmm, yes, we talked about that. Her parents are curious and want to meet me, and we thought Christmas would be a good time."
"Okay, but go as Dennis and not as Denise. And better don't tell them about Denise yet."
"I had a vision again. First you as Dennis and Emily meet some older people, I assume her parents. Then Emily is thrown out by her parents. Emily still lives with them, doesn't she?"
"Yes, she does. So you think her parents won't accept me as Denise?"
"Yeah, I don't see what else is significant about you visiting them as a man."
"You're probably right. But at some time they will have to know about me. So they will just throw her out at a later time."
"Perhaps, but perhaps it's just the wrong time now."
"I hope so."
* * *
Emily and I spent Saturday evening and Sunday together again. We talked about visiting our parents too. My mother had invited us for Christmas Eve and her parents for the next day.
"I think you should meet my parents as Denise," my girlfriend said. "You seem to be quite comfortable as a woman now and I don't want to hide you from them."
"No, I can't. I don't think your parents would react well on me this way."
"Why do you think that? You don't know them. I love you so much, they just have to like you too."
"Parents sometimes have strange ideas whom their children may love."
"So you think may parents are some rednecks who tell their daughter whom to love and whom not?" she replied annoyed.
"Well, I certainly wouldn't be the model husband in their eyes."
"If you think that, why do you even want to meet them at all?" She was really angry now and I didn't know how to calm her down again, except to tell her the truth.
"Okay, I'll tell you something now. You might not want to believe it, but it's true anyway. Please calm down and listen."
"Hmm, okay, go on."
"Well, my sister is psychic. She has visions sometimes and nearly always they come true. Some weeks ago she had a vision that I have to become a woman or I'd die. That is the reason why I do all this. I'm not really a transsexual in the sense that I feel to be a woman inside, but just like them I have to become a woman."
"And what does have to do with my parents?"
"My sister had another vision this week. She saw that if I don't visit your parents as Dennis then they'll throw you out."
"That is thick."
"I know it's hard to believe, but why should I make this up? I love you and I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to get problems with your parents either. So even if you don't believe me, could we keep Denise secret for now, just to be on the save side?"
She wasn't persuaded yet, but after I told her more about Rebecca's visions she finally seemed to believe me. At least she agreed to visit her parents with me as Dennis and not to mention my female side.
* * *
As Christmas Eve was a Wednesday Emily didn't have to work that day fortunately. So we drove to visit my mother early in the morning. As I really was quite comfortable in female clothes now and Mom certainly would want to see how I managed now I chose to go as Denise. I wore a nice dress with a floral pattern, tan hose and my 4" heels and Emily wore a dress too, even though she was usually a jeans and sweater girl.
When we arrived Mom and I hugged each other, which we didn't do often before. She liked what she saw and complimented me on my looks. Mom was glad to meet my girlfriend too and they hit it off well. My sister arrived a little later and we spent a nice day with each other. Mom was very happy to have three daughters now.
"So, Rebecca, is this the scene you saw in your vision?" Emily asked when we all sat beneath the Christmas tree.
"I told her about your visions," I explained.
"Hmm, it was quite some weeks ago already," Rebecca said, "but I think it's not quite right. You are the fourth woman whom I didn't know then. But Denise isn't as feminine yet as in the vision. But that doesn't matter, we expect the vision to come true next year anyway."
I really hoped it would come true, because that would mean I'd stay together with Emily too, and I was very much in love.
* * *
The next day I finally met my girlfriend's parents. But as we agreed we kept Denise a secret. It was actually quite fun to talk with them, but I just hoped they could somehow accept me as Denise too. Fortunately Rebecca had had her vision or we probably wouldn't have sat there happily in their living room. For now they seemed happy that their daughter had found a boyfriend.
On Saturday after Christmas Emily and I went out to the transgender friendly bars and met our new friends from the support group again. This actually became our usual activity for Saturday nights. Some men tried to pick me up at the bar and this made me feel good even though I had no intention to ever date a man.
I was finally comfortable enough as woman that I dared going shopping in bright daylight, first only with my girlfriend, but then alone too. And it seemed everybody accepted me as a woman even though I got probably read as a man sometimes. I had spent most of my time at home in female clothes in the last weeks, but now I started to appear in public as woman often too.
I met some more neighbors on the stairs. Most only looked and said nothing for now, like the one whom I had met before, but one woman congratulated me to my courage.
And then came the appointment with the shrink on 5th January of the new year. I had read a lot about transsexuals by then and even talked to a few who had visited exactly this shrink, so I knew what kind of question to expect and what she wanted to hear. I wanted to get my recommendation for hormones as quickly as possible. And appearing comfortably as woman was probably a big factor too. So I dressed in a stylish business suit and high heels for the meeting.
I was nervous when I met her at first anyway, but soon she managed to calm me down, telling be how she was here to help and not to judge me. I told her actually the truth about me, except for the reason why I needed to become a woman. As I was slight of built I had really had some problems with bullies in school and I had kept to myself like many transsexuals for example. I just added that I felt that I didn't fit in and that I finally found out why. And that I felt much better since I spent more and more time as woman. That I had to become a woman was the truth again.
She seemed impressed by my natural appearance and my determination. She liked the support group, the electrolysis, the support by my family and girlfriend and my plan for transition. I didn't appear to be psychological unstable or deluded and so she okayed hormones right away. I didn't expect that, but was happy about it of course. We made an appointment for the 9th February for the next consultation and she wished me much luck on my way.
On the next day I had my second electrolysis session, which would be a regular date on Tuesdays and Saturdays from then on. I went there as woman too.
Thursday was a support group meeting again and I met most of my new transgendered friends. Four weeks before I was still doing my first steps as a woman in public, but I had changed a lot in the meantime. And a lot of people told me it was visible for them too. Even though I didn't seem to need that much support anymore I'd continue to go to the meetings, to meet my new friends and perhaps give support for my peers too.
The Tuesday of the following week I saw an endocrinologist about the hormones. He took some blood sample and if everything would be okay I'd be getting a prescription the next week. So on Monday the 19th I had the first prescription of Estinyl in my hands. He would have prescribed an anti-androgen too, but Emily and me liked it when I penetrated her and with estrogen alone I'd get the feminizing affect and had a chance that my cock stayed functional.
The hormones would make me infertile soon though, so I had actually deposited some samples at a sperm bank in case we wanted children later.
* * *
It was finally time to tell my friends. I had seen them less in the last time because of Emily and because I spent most of my free time as woman now. Some had met Emily already and so thought that she was the reason. So when I finally told them of the real reason they were all quite surprised. Most of them were okay with it, but a few rejected me for my decision. Well, there's always some loss. I could live with it, even if it was sad.
As I didn't want to live two lives I intended to transition at college as soon as possible too. One step in that direction was to give a transition party for my friends, so that they could get used to see me as woman before they saw me that way in college. I didn't have enough room to host it myself, so I invited them to a bar and would pay the first two rounds of drinks. And as my birthday happened to be soon I chose that date to be my transition date and combine my birthday and transition party.
From the 14th February 1998 on I would appear as woman full-time. It would be the official begin of the Real Life Test, but then that didn't matter as I didn't intend to get any surgery.
A few more things needed to be done. First was to change my name legally. That was actually much more easy than I had thought. I just went to the DMV and had to fill a form. I had got a letter from my doctor that I was undergoing treatment for gender dysphoria and needed to live as a woman for that which I added to my request and they said I'd get my new driver's license in four to six weeks. I'd have to wait that long before I could change my other documents.
I talked with the student counselor at college and he said it would be no problem. I seemed not to be the first student who transitioned. I'd have to wait for my driver's license to change my records, but I could attend the classes as woman before that. To be on the secure side I told my teachers about my upcoming change too.
On 9th February I had my second session with my shrink. I just reported how my life went and of my upcoming transition at college. As I didn't really have a need for another session we agreed that I'd see her next in about 6 months.
Finally it was my birthday. I was woken by Emily with a kiss and then she served me breakfast in bed. Usually she would have to work on Saturdays, but she took the day off, so we could celebrate. After I had finished my meal my girlfriend gave me my birthday gift and told me to open it immediately. It was a very sexy set of lingerie, a beautiful red teddy with black trim and garters, matching panties and black, seamed stockings. Emily demanded that I wear it on my birthday. I actually put it on right away and then I pulled her back into the bed and showed her how much I liked her gift. It was a good start into the rest of my life as woman.
At 4 p.m. I had an appointment at the beautician. My hair had grown long enough meanwhile so that it could be cut and styled femininely, even if it was still quite short. Then I got a professional makeover including nail extensions. Even though I was quite accomplished in doing my makeup by now, a professional still could do it much better. I was beautiful when I looked into the mirror before I left.
For my party that evening I wore my new lingerie including the seamed stockings, a tight, black dress that only went to mid thigh and my 4" high black heels. I wanted to impress my friends and I seemed to be successful. Many of my male friends stared quite unashamedly at my features when they saw me. And the female friends congratulated me on my looks too. Only a few had seen me before when they visited me at home in the days after my coming out, but I was dressed casually then.
My friends actually related differently to me now. I was a buddy for the men before which I actually would have liked to stay, but somehow most couldn't and instinctively treated a woman differently. With the women the change was more positive. I was accepted as one of them by most and we got much closer than before.
I had invited a few new friends from my support group additionally and was glad they were accepted by my old friends too. It was especially nice how one cute transsexual and one of my male friends got close and finally even kissed each other. The evening stays as one of the best in my memory.
Two days later was my first time time as woman in class. Most who knew me had already heard about my change, so it was no surprise. I wasn't dressed that differently than before, in jeans, sweater and flat shoes, only that my clothes had a feminine touch to them. Of course my face looked different with my new haircut and a little makeup. Fortunately that day was quite uneventful, I was just another young woman now.
It was March and the only time I still appeared as a man was when I visited Emily's family now, as we still had seen no way how to tell them about me. That vision about them throwing her out couldn't come true anymore, but then Emily didn't really live with them anymore as we spent most of our time together and she usually slept in my apartment too.
Then Rebecca visited us with another vision. It was embarrassing for her to tell us, but she had seen us having sex and I was using a condom. The alternative was Emily with a big belly.
We were not ready for a baby yet and Emily took the pill therefore. But my sister's vision indicated that somehow that wasn't enough. Well, so I used a condom from then on when we had sex, even if I didn't like it. Unfortunately a few days later we had a night of hot sex and I somehow forgot the condom on the second round. When I had just finished pumping my sperm into Emily I realized what I had done, but it was too late.
Oh well, so much for family planning. And the pregnancy test a few days later showed that we were getting a baby too, due the 14th December.
I had wanted to do it anyway, but now I had an additional reason. I asked Emily if she wanted to become my wife. And she said yes.
We decided that we'd marry on the 20th June, two weeks after my graduation, so that I didn't have to worry about the preparations too much when I had my finals, and Emily hopefully wouldn't show too much yet. On the other side I'd probably show then, after 5 months of hormones. Not that that mattered, as we would both be wearing wedding gowns.
I had got my name changed to Denise, but I was still legally male and even had an 'M' on my driver's license, so I still could really marry Emily.
The only problem left were my future parents-in-law. We had to tell them now. So on the next visit they got to hear quite some news. First about the upcoming wedding which they were happy about as they still thought of me as the model son. Then the baby which made them happy too. And then that I was living as a woman which only stunned them at first. But soon it got ugly and Emily's father threw me out before we could explain. Emily stood by me and left too.
We had hoped that it wouldn't get that bad, that they got to like me and would accept me as a woman too. We tried our best, but had no chance. It made us very sad and we both cried for several minutes when we sat in the car after we left.
* * *
Life went on and we managed to talk with Emily's mother a few weeks later. She could actually accept my change after some explaining, but her husband refused to talk to me at all and wouldn't talk about me with his daughter either.
Meanwhile my breasts started to grow for real and when it was time for my finals I actually filled my A-cup bras. This made wearing the breast forms uncomfortable, so I gave them to a sister in need and used some padded bras for myself from then on.
Two weeks later I had my graduation diploma in my hands, in the name of Denise Wagner of course. I had found a job at a bank that would start on 1st July, which was just right, so that I'd have 2 weeks of free time for preparation for the wedding and then a week for the honeymoon.
The wedding was beautiful, with not only one but two brides. Even Emily's mother came and actually saw me as woman for the first time. And she seemed to accept me fully, even complimented me. The only downside was that my new wife's father still couldn't accept me and even missed the wedding of his daughter therefore.
The wedding night was the high spot of the day. We had great sex, and I was glad my cock still worked after 5 months of hormones even though it took a little longer to get hard. But we weren't worried actually, as we liked non-penetrating sex too. Foreplay and cuddling after sex was always an important part anyway.
We spent a week of honeymoon at the Niagara Falls, but then the seriousness of life got us back. I had to start my new job at the bank soon. Somebody had to earn the money to support our small but growing family after all.
It was that special date, 3rd November 1998, the day I'd die if that part of Rebecca's vision came true. But I was confident that that wouldn't happen. After all I was a woman now and if I'd die my gravestone would read Denise Wagner and not Dennis Wagner.
I was now living as a woman full-time for over eight months and working at the bank for four months. Emily's pregnancy was developing nicely and her big belly was quite a sight. Life was good.
I was just talking with a customer about his investments when suddenly two armed, masked men came into the bank. They disarmed the security guard quickly and then told everybody to stay calm and nothing would happen. I really hoped so, but of course I pressed the silent alarm button. We then had to sit down in a row at a wall while one teller had to collect the money for them.
When the robbers wanted to leave the bank we heard police sirens. They were actually quick this time. Unfortunately the robbers didn't give up, but took us hostage. They demanded an escape car and 2 million Dollars. Of course that took quite a time to organize and the police probably put them off additionally.
As time passed the gangsters got more and more nervous. Finally it was too much for one of them and while talking on the phone he came over to us.
"I bet you don't believe I'll do it. Or why don't you get the fucking money here?" I heard him say into the phone, "I have enough of this. I'll show you I'm not to play around with."
Then he raised his gun and looked into my eyes. I was very frightened that he'd shoot me. But then he turned to the man next to me.
"Stand up!" he told that man and led him over to the entrance so that the cops could see him. And then he shot him.
Then it became clear. He would have selected me. But I was a woman now and he probably didn't want to shoot a woman. I was glad that I was still alive, but now somebody else had to die instead. And I could do nothing.
Then suddenly I heard more shots. But not from the robbers. The robbers were actually hit. It seems the police finally decided to storm the bank as the gangsters were likely to kill more hostages now. After the first robber had shot that man the second one got mad on him and the cops used the resulting confusion to take the gangsters out.
The gangsters were actually dead, but the man they had shot was heavily wounded but still alive. As there was an ambulance already they quickly drove him to the hospital. We others were fortunate to come out of it unharmed, at least physical. The emotional shock sat deep though.
I was glad that nobody had to die for me after all, but I had to assume that if I'd still been a man I would have been shot and probably not survived. Thank God for my psychic sister.
It is Christmas 1998 now and I sit with my wife, my sister and my mother under the Christmas tree, just like Rebecca saw it. And we are very happy. My beautiful daughter is already sleeping in her bed. She was born two weeks early, but has developed splendidly since then. Emily is trying hard to get back to her former weight and will probably soon reach her goal.
My father-in-law still doesn't want to know anything about me, but I hope he'll come around at some time. The relationship with my mother-in-law is much better. She even visits us often in our new home. My small apartment certainly wasn't big enough for three and now we have a three bedroom apartment, so there's space for another kid in case we want one.
The danger of another 'accident' is slim though as my sperm isn't fertil anymore. The female hormones saw to that. Fortunately they didn't stop my erections even though my breasts grew nearly to B-cups, so we can still enjoy sex as before.
As the initial reason for me to become a woman is gone now I could return to manhood. But I actually like my life as it is now and returning would probably be much harder than becoming a woman was. I don't really miss being a man, so I'll stay a woman.
I'd like it very much to get comments on this story.
This Story is © 1998 by Monica S. <MonicaS@innocent.com>. Redistribution permitted for non-commercial purposes only. Please notify me in case of addition to an archive.