The Girls-Only Club
by Pamela

(c) 1997 "peter bernard" <pamelapamela@hotmail.com>. 


14. Chapter

The next morning Blake had put on his panties and was just in the process of
lining up his bra to put around his waist, when he heard a light tapping on
his door.  ``Who is it?" he called out apprehensively.

``Its me," he heard his mother's voice.

``I'm getting dressed."

``Its OK, honey I want to see what you're wearing."

Blake opened the door and she came in.  ``Here, let me help you with that,"
she said, taking the bra from his hand.

``I can do it mom."

``I know you can, but I guess I just want some opportunities to get to know
you better as a girl.  I remember teaching Janice how to wear bras like it
was almost yesterday, and, well, I think it might help my adjustment to you
becoming my daughter if we share some experiences like that."

``OK, mom, I think that would be great."

``I remember that when Janice and Ann were small they often watched me get
dressed.  They knew what my breasts looked like.  They were always
fascinated how I could fit these big things inside my bra," she indicated
her large prominent bust.  ``Janice was a little late in developing - you
would never know it now!  - and she used to lift up her tops to show me her
chest.  And she would say, ``Look mommy, do I need a bra now?  Please,
please, can I get a bra?" and I would have to say, `not just yet Janice but
I'm sure in no time you'll be ready.'"

``That's really neat, mom, I wish we had those kinds of memories!"

``Janice and I sometimes played a little game, `pick me a panty' I think we
called it.  I would sit on the end of the bed, and I would cover my eyes and
she would go in my dresser drawer and pick out a pair of panties for me to
wear.  I had to try and guess the color.  She always tried to make it as
difficult as possible - usually going way down the pile to the bottom - to
the panties I didn't usually wear too often.  They were the really lacy ones
that I usually only felt right about wearing on special evenings."

``It sounds like you and Janice had a lot of fun.  I sort of remember
hearing the two of you laughing together in your bedroom, and I always
wondered what was going on."

``When you very little, Janice and I let you wander about while we played
`pick me a panty'.  You were too young to know what was going on.  Sometimes
when I wasn't looking Janice would put one of my panties over your head like
a chef's hat or something.  The two of you used to get hysterical laughing
at the joke.  And you would run around saying in baby talk something like
`panty hat panty hat'."

Blake had a sudden sense of remembrance, a dim hazy image of his mother's
panty drawer and looking at the panties with Janice.  ``Did Ann ever play
it?"

``One time.  She hated fancy panties.  The second time we tried to do it,
she wanted to give me one of your fathers jockey shorts to wear so we never
did it again."

Blake and his mom laughed together at this.  ``I guess I'm too old to play
that with you now," Blake said continuing to laugh.

``It would be very silly for a girl your age, Pamela!  But maybe one day
after you've officially become a girl, we could play something like that.
Just to get to know each other better."

``That would be fun, mom, but seeing each other naked, isn't that a
problem?"

``You mean seeing your mother naked?  I should hope that it wouldn't be once
you are Pamela!"

``You're right mom.  I'm sorry.  There are so many little things about
changing to Pamela that I haven't become fully aware of.  Though I
absolutely can't wait for it to happen, I so much want to be in dresses al
the time."

His mother smiled at him and held up the bra she was holding, ``Now put out
your arms and I'll slip the bra on you."

Blake held his hands out and then through the straps, and then turned around
so his mom could attach the back hooks.

``That seems to be a good fit," she said.

``Its very comfortable, mom."

``Those are very pretty panties you have on.  Are you going to wear
pantyhose too?"

``Yes mom, underneath my jeans.  Do you think it's silly?"

``A little, I guess.  You don't have any knee-high stockings?"

``No."

``Well, I'll get you some today.  They are what a girl would normally wear
under her jeans, unless she were wearing sneakers."

``Yes mom.  But I think I'll probably only wear dresses and skirts next
year, I don't think I'm the kind of girl who wants to wear jeans."

``Sometime in the summer I'll take you shopping for some fall dresses and
skirts, to get you ready for school."

``Thanks, mom."

``I just wanted to tell you that I will love you just as much when you
become Pamela as I did when you were Blake.  Last night was a shock to me
but I'm so glad that Mrs.  O'Connor had the strength to fight for you and to
convince me of your femininity.  I only hope I can do as well with your
dad."

Blake went up to her and embraced her.  ``I love you so much, mom."

``In some ways you are the daughter I've always wanted.  Janice was
certainly girlish at your age, but she was also very ambitious about her
Navy career and she would rather wear jeans than skirts most of the time.
Ann, of course doesn't even own a skirt, and I could never get her into one
if I tried.  When I was your age I was sort of like you.  I had my dolls and
a closet full of pretty dresses and I dreamed about having some babies.  It
wasn't that I didn't want a career also, but I knew in my heart that having
a family was a very high priority with me and making a safe and pretty world
for my kids meant a lot.  I used to have a magnificent doll house that I
played with all the time.  Its somewhere in the attic.  Neither Janice or
Ann ever took to it."

``I would love to play with it mom!  It would be so fantastic!  I love
miniatures."

``There's one other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

``What's that?"

``It's just, I don't think you ought to let your sisters or brother or any
of our relatives know about your changeover to a girl, at least until after
I break the news to your dad.  OK?

``Oh, I won't mom," Blake said.  Technically speaking he wasn't lying but he
felt a pang of guilt not telling her about Janice at least.  But that might
just get Janice into trouble, so he kept his mouth shut.

She smiled at him and left the room saying, ``I'll fix your breakfast.  See
you downstairs in a minute."

                   **********************************

Blake sat down to a bowl of cereal his mom had prepared for him.  He was
eating in silence when Ann came in the dining room.  ``Get me my breakfast,
I want an English muffin with butter," she ordered him.

Realizing that she was in a terrible mood, Blake immediately got up to fetch
her breakfast.  ``It'll take me just a second."

``Hurry."

In the kitchen he went to get a muffin to put in the toaster hoping his
mother wouldn't find it strange.  ``You're really hungry today," she said.

``I'm getting it for Ann."

``Why are you doing that?"

``Its nothing mom.  Ann likes me to get her her breakfast.  I don't mind
doing it, really."

``Blake, this is silly.  She is perfectly capable of getting her own
breakfast.  You tell her to do it herself."

``Mom, its best if I just get it."

``Why?"

``I can't tell you."

``Tell me the truth."

``She might hurt me mom.  I'm afraid she'll get mad and punch me or
something."

Hearing this, his mom got angry and walked out to the dining room after
telling Blake to follow him.  ``Ann what's this I hear about you threatening
to hurt Blake if he doesn't get your breakfast for you?"

Ann scowled at Blake and he tried to look as if it wasn't his fault.

``Blake's lying, mom.  I just asked him to get it and he doesn't mind.
Anyway he likes being my servant."

``Don't you ever refer to your brother as a servant, young lady.  Just
because you can beat him up doesn't give you the right to enslave him!"

``But mom..."

``Ann, I won't hear of it.  Don't take advantage of people who might be
weaker than you or less able to defend themselves.  Being a bully is not
acceptable in our family."

``But being a sissy is?"

``Ann, if you don't apologize to Blake this instant, you'll be grounded this
afternoon."

``Mom!"

``Say it!"

``I'm sorry, Blake," Ann said with a clearly phony voice.

``That's better.  Now I don't want to hear of any more problems between the
two of you," his mom said as she went back to the kitchen.

Ann got up to get her muffin and Blake tried to eat as fast as possible so
he would be gone before she got back.  Unfortunately, he was just about to
leave when she came in.

``Where do you think you're going?" she said venomously.

``I have to get ready for school."

``Sit down you little perverted tattle tale." Blake sat down.  ``Now I want
to go over once again some of the rules of our relationship which you don't
seem to have learnt yet."

``Ann, I swear I didn't tell mom."

``Shut up.  Now apologize."

``I'm sorry Ann."

``Sorry for what?"

``I'm sorry I spoke out of turn with you.  And I'm sorry that you got in
trouble with mom.  I promise I'll never do that again."

``What will happen to you if you do?"

``You'll beat me up and make me cry."

``And what else?"

``You'll tell dad about...  you know what."

``About what?"

``You'll tell dad that I wear bras and panties all the time."

``What bra are you wearing today?"

``Its my `almost a B' bra."

Ann laughed, ``you're `almost a B' bra.  How cute Blake.  Show it to me."

Blake pulled up the front of his shirt revealing the bra.  ``Come closer."
Blake walked around the table and stood next to her.  She reached underneath
the bra cups and grabbed a hold of his nipples, one in each hand.  ``Now
girls really like their nipples pinched, don't they?"

``Yes, Ann."

``Do you like your nipples pinched?"

``Yes, Ann."

``Good, cause that's what I'm going to do, and you better not let mom hear."
With that she pinched his nipples as hard as she could and Blake felt a huge
surge of pain in his chest.  Just when he was about to scream in agony she
let go.

``Feel good?"

Holding back tears, Blake said, ``no, Ann, it hurt."

``I thought you told me that you like your nipples pinched, or didn't I hear
correctly."

``I did say it, but you pinched them too hard.  You've got to be gentle with
a girls nipples."

``Be gentle with the fairy's nipples!  Are you telling me what to do?"

``No, Ann, I'm sorry.  Can I ask you a question?"

``What is it?"

``Why do you hate me so much?  What did I ever do to you?"

``You insolent little twerp!  How dare you talk to me like that!"

``I'm sorry Ann, but I don't mean to be rude to you.  I just feel like you
always hate me and am trying to hurt me.  I'm scared of you!"

``Blake, there is only one reason I hate you and that's cause you got a
fucking penis which should have been mine."

``But how did I ever take it from you?"

``I don't care if you didn't do it, its just that as long as you've got it
and you act like a little sissy girl all the time, its just a waste."

``But I wish I didn't have it, Ann.  I want to be your sister, and if I
could, I would always try and be good to you.  I mean if you want to be my
brother, that's OK I would be happy to look upon you as my brother."

``I want your penis, Blake."

``You can have it!" Blake said emotionally.

``Someday, I will get it," Ann said ominously ``Now get the fuck away from
me."

``Yes, Ann," Blake said as he left the dining room as fast as he could.

                       *************************

After school that day, Blake went home with Kathy to tell Mrs.  O'Connor
that everything was going great with his mom.  She wasn't home, however, and
Blake decided that he would like to get dressed up and maybe take a walk
through the town.  He went to his special room and put on a wide pink
peasant skirt and a sleeveless white blouse.  He applied some make up and
looking in the mirror decided that his hair was now long enough that he
didn't need the wig.  He styled it the way Penny had once recommend he ought
to do it, framing his cheeks with a slight curl.  Looking at himself in the
mirror he felt it looked good but decided to ask Kathy if it was okay.  He
knocked on her door and she called for him to enter.  She was sitting at her
desk doing homework.

``What can I do for you Pam," she said as she turned toward him.  When she
finally saw him, she made a small exclamation of excitement, ``oh, you've
styled your own hair!  It looks really nice."

``Do you really think so?"

``Yes, I do Pam, I would never lie to you!"

Blake thought he detected a little hurt in her voice and said, ``I'm sorry
Kathy, its just that I sometimes wonder if I really am pretty or not.  Maybe
you girls just say that cause you don't want to hurt my feelings.  When my
mom was really angry with me yesterday she said that all you girls were
playing a trick on me, but of course she doesn't think that way now.  But to
be honest, Kathy, and I don't want to hurt any of the girls feelings in the
club, but I did sort of begin to doubt it.  I mean, here I was a boy just a
few weeks ago and now I'm about to be a girl all the time.  It has really
happened so fast and I can't help but be a little afraid.  Do you know what
I mean?"

Kathy nodded sympathetically, ``I do Pam, and I think that maybe the rest of
us club members have been a bit guilty of taking you for granted as being a
girl now.  Its a lot more of a struggle than we realize, I guess."

``One thing which I want to know truthfully," Blake said, summoning up his
courage, ``is would you girls ever have found me suitable as a boy friend, I
mean when I was Blake?"

Kathy stared at him intently and Blake couldn't imagine what she was
thinking.  He was scared that she would be offended or worse that she would
think that his becoming a girl was just an act.  ``I mean, Kathy, that I am
absolutely one hundred percent happy that I'm Pamela now, but I can't help
but be curious.  You know it never came up in our club meetings, like at the
start."

``Pamela, its OK to ask these things, but maybe the answers will make you
sad.  Speaking for myself, but its probably true of the others, I think I
saw you as being a very nice friend but not a boy friend.  How can I put it,
Pam?  You weren't masculine enough as Blake.  You were too delicate, too
pretty, you didn't have that kind of masculine strength which I am attracted
to sexually.  But all those feminine qualities are things which make you
such a beautiful girl friend of mine."

``But I did have a penis?  I mean you remember taking care of me in the sink
the first day?  Wasn't that sexual?"

``Was it sexual for you Pamela?  You never acted like it was.  For me it
never really did seem sexual.  Your penis, or clitoris, seemed kind of
feminine to me, if that is possible.  You were so lovely in the pink dress
and so sweet, you were more like a little sister or something.  The boy in
you was not there.  In our private meeting we talked about that because we
were concerned that maybe as you grew older some masculine traits might
start to come out.  But it just seemed impossible to us.  We felt that your
body had this sort of desperate need for breasts, like it was incomplete the
way it was.  We were so happy you agreed with us."

Blake thought about what Kathy was saying and then said sort of depressed,
``then no woman would ever be interested in me, to marry me, so I could have
children."

``Well no normal woman who wants a man, but I would think maybe certain
Lesbians or women that prefer a penis on their lover without any of the
emotional make up of a man.  There are a lot of girls out there like that.
One of them could make you her bride and give you a baby.  The bottom line
is that most girls prefer real men and I think you share that too.  I mean
would you want to date a boy who was really effeminate and cross dressed?"

``I guess not."

Blake thought about Juergan and then Barry and tried to imagine them
cross-dressing.  It was a silly thought; they were so truly masculine, there
was no way they would look anything but ridiculous as a girl.  ``I guess its
really good what your saying Kathy.  I mean if you could actually think of
me as being a boy, then I would not really ever belong in the
Girls-Only-Club.  I wouldn't want any boys who just dressed up as a girls to
join.  I would only feel OK about boys who were so girlish that they didn't
seem to be boys at all."

``Exactly our feelings about you, Pam!"

``I think I'm going to go for a walk outside.  It's such a beautiful day.
Do you want to come?"

``I'm sorry Pam, I've go a report due tomorrow which I've got to get done.
But hopefully another day soon."

                  **************************************

Blake set out on an aimless path walking through various neighborhoods until
he came to one of the large avenues.  He walked along it lost in his
thoughts when out of the corner of his eye he had the feeling that a car was
slowly following him near the curb.  He turned enough to see that it was a
bright red convertible and the top was down.  A voice from the car called
out to him, ``hey wait up Pamela!"

He stopped and turned and saw that it was Randy behind the wheel.  Blake
kept on walking slowly and Randy sped up so that he was just ahead of him.
``Wait up, Pamela!"

Blake was scared and started to walk faster and Randy yelled out angrily,
``you better stop."

Blake stopped and turned toward the car.  Randy parked it and got out and
walked over to him.  ``That's better Pamela.  I almost got the feeling that
you weren't so happy to see me."

``What do you want Randy," Blake said with an obvious tremor in his voice.

``I just wanted to say hi to you, that's all."

``Well hi Randy, I've got to go."

``Where are you going?"

``I'm visiting a friend."

``Which friend?"

Thinking quickly, Blake made up a name.  ``Carly."

``Where does she live?"

``Right down there," Blake said pointing down a side street.  It was a very
wealthy neighborhood with large homes separated by sizable distances.

``I'll take you there."

``No thank you Randy, its really just a short distance."

``I'll follow you to make sure your OK."

``There's no need."

Suddenly, Randy grabbed Blake's hand and spun him around hard.  ``Look here
Pamela, you're period has got to be over by now and my cock is really ready
for you."

``Randy, don't talk to me like that."

``Oh, aren't we being real uppity.  One day you're a slut and the next you
act like your so pure."

``I was just doing that for Joyce."

``Why?"

``It was like an initiation into her club."

``Sucking off four guys and getting your ass fucked?  No decent girl would
ever do that!"

Blake was hurt and felt tears welling up in his eyes.  ``That wasn't the
real me, Randy.  I'm not that kind of girl."

``You did a pretty convincing act that you love a good cock.  And you'll
never find a bigger one than mine."

Blake didn't have to be reminded of the mammoth organ lurking in Randy's
pants.  He said, ``size isn't everything," and realized that sounded pretty
lame in reference to Randy.

``It was the other night!"

``I'm sorry Randy, I've got to go."

``It's too bad, Pamela.  I always get the girls I want, and I want to see
what your pussy is like wrapped around my cock." He grabbed onto Blake's arm
with a vise-like grip and began leading him to the car.

``Now get in and we'll go back to the forest, where we were the other
night."

Blake struggled futilely against Randy, but as luck would have it, a couple
of well dressed women came by on the sidewalk staring at Randy, and he let
go of Blake's arm.  Immediately, Blake ran off behind the women and kept
walking.  He didn't look back to see Randy's angry face, but he heard him
get in the car and start the engine.  He could tell that Randy was following
behind him waiting for his chance.  The women walked up the block of large
homes with Blake ten paces behind them.  They turned into another side
street and then suddenly went up a walk way to one of the houses leaving
Blake on the block alone.  Terrified, he walked swiftly and then began to
run as fast as he could in his heels and holding his skirt down.  It was
clear it wasn't doing any good.  In a minute he would be out of breath and
then Randy would get him for sure.

He came to an intersection and realized that the street name was familiar
though he couldn't remember where he had heard it before.  Looking up the
road he saw a large estate with a Victorian manor house on it and suddenly
remembered that it belonged to those two nice ladies he had met the day he
went bra shopping at the mall.  What were there names?  Molly was one of
them and he couldn't remember the other.  Randy had parked the car and was
now running to catch up to him.  Blake turned up the driveway of the large
estate and ran to the front door and rang the bell.  Randy was intimidated
by the grandeur of the place and stopped half way up the driveway watching
to see what was happening.

After what seemed an eternity, the door opened and Blake was face to face
with Molly.  ``Yes?" she asked, what can I do for you?"

``Oh, don't you remember me Molly?  I met you at Lord and Taylor's.  I was
buying some bras and panties and we met in the ladies room.  I helped you
put you're earring on?"

``Why yes of course, I remember now.  You're name was, Paula, Penny,..."

``Pamela."

``Yes Pamela.  Why how good of you to come by.  Please come in."

Blake entered the house and turned around just in time to see Randy walking
back to his car.

                     ******************************

``Look who's here Grace," Molly said as she escorted Blake to the enormous
living room to present him to her sister.  Also seated there was a younger
woman dressed in a skin tight black leather pants and a white blouse with
wide lapels.

``Grace, do you remember Pamela?  You know from the other day when we were
shopping?  She helped me put my earring on in the ladies room."

``Yes, yes of course I do.  My what a pleasant surprise!  We're just sitting
down to tea, will you be able to join us?"

``Thank you, maam, that is kind of you, I would love to," Blake said shyly.
``I'm sorry for just dropping in, I hope it isn't rude of me."

``Tush, tush, Pamela, don't even think that.  It is such a treat for us to
see you again.  And we can introduce you to our grand niece, Joanna."

Joanna sat leaning back comfortably on a sofa and smiled at Blake.  She was
strikingly beautiful, with flashing dark eyes, straight very black hair and
a shade of dark red lipstick.  Blake thought he saw a twinge of amusement in
her expression.  ``Pleased to meet you Pamela."

``Thank you," Blake said smiling back shyly, ``I'm pleased to meet you too."

At that moment a servant came in carrying a tray of tea and Molly asked him
to please bring in another cup and saucer for Blake.

Blake sat down on a sofa and the eyes of the two older sisters and Joanna
were upon him.

``So what brings you over here?" Molly said.

``I was just passing by on a walk, enjoying the flowers and I noticed that I
was on your street, so I thought it would be fun to say hello."

``Joanna," Molly said, ``Pamela was just the sweetest girl when we met her.
She had been shopping for a whole new set of lingerie and she was so
excited!"

``She has the most delightful taste in bras and panties.  Just pinks and
very feminine blues and yellows with lots of flowers and lace.  It was such
a breath of fresh air to meet a girl like her."

``Oh, don't go on like that Molly," Joanna said laughing.  ``Pamela, I've
heard this speech a hundred times about how modern girls just all want to be
boys now."

``Well, Joanna dear, it is true.  Just look at yourself!  You're wearing
men's pants and a pirates top and those shoes.  So plain and unladylike."

``But very comfortable, just like men feel."

``How would you know how men feel?  There's nothing more comfortable than a
dress and pantyhose, isn't that true Pamela?"

``I quite agree, Ms.  Molly," Blake said crossing his legs and gathering his
skirt to his side.

``See how pretty she is dressed now, and how perfect her legs look.  In the
old days we wore corsets that made us even more beautiful," Molly said.

``Indeed," Grace added.  ``There is nothing like a good corset!  They gave
us wonderful posture and a sense of elegance.  And oh, the delicate
lacework!  It was a true artform that all women got to enjoy in a world
hidden from the men."

``You're so silly, Grace and Molly!  Corsets were nothing but one woman
prisons that made them completely useless for anything except being
ornaments for men."

``Being an ornament for a man, as you say, actually had a lot of advantages
for women.  With a good corset on, we gained an authority over men that gave
us unlimited power in manipulating them."

``You know, I met a woman at the girdle shop, when I was buying my girdles,"
Blake broke in excitedly, ``and she was saying the same thing.  She told me
that I could get any man to do what I wanted with the right corset on."

``Now she's a woman after our own hearts!" Molly said.

``Molly, don't you have a whole trunk of corsets in the attic?" Joanna
asked.

``Why yes we do!"

``Well lets see what Pamela really thinks about them!  We'll make a bet.  I
say that after she tries one on, she'll hate them and you can bet the
opposite!"

``A splendid idea, Joanna.  The two of you run along upstairs and after
you've got Pamela dressed in a corset, bring her down for us to see."

``How do you feel about that Pamela?" Joanna asked.

``It sounds like fun!" Blake exclaimed and he followed Joanna as she led him
up two flights of stairs to the attic.

                  **************************************

In the attic they found a steamship chest filled with corsets.  Joanna
searched through them saying, ``let me see...  do you want a black one or a
pink one or a red one?  I'll bet you want a pink one.  Ah, here's a perfect
one to start with." She held up a pink and white striped corset and held it
up for Blake to see.  He took it from her and examined it closely.  It was a
complicated affair with many hooks and strings and Blake was at a loss as to
how it was to be put on.

Seeing his confusion, Joanna said, ``I know its really medieval isn't it.
I'm sure we can figure it out together.  You first better get undressed."

``Joanna, there is something I have to tell you," Blake said as he began
unfastening his blouse and taking it off.

Jonna stopped rummaging through the chest and looked up at him.  He was now
wearing just a bra and had unzipped his skirt and was holding it up with his
hands.

``My aren't you precious," Joanna said smiling at him.  Her eyes were
riveted to his and he saw them dart down to look at his breasts.  She got up
and walked over to him.  She was a couple of inches taller than he and he
had to look up slightly to see into her face.  She had a strange expression,
slightly amused but masking some deep inner calculation.  ``What did you
want to tell me?" her voice was firm and almost commanding in tone but in a
gentle way, like a mother who finally was allowing her daughter to speak
after having first admonished her about rushing her words.

Blake let the skirt fall to the floor around his ankles.  ``Joanna, you see,
um," he suddenly realized this was going to be more difficult than he
thought, ``you see my panties?"

Joanna took a step back and looked down, ``why yes Pamela, they are so very
pretty."

Blake realizing that he must sound very silly, said, ``no Joanna, I wasn't
trying to tell you about my panties.  I mean, look at my panties." He was
frustrated trying to get it out right.  ``I mean in my panties, look in my
panties."

``You want me look at your vagina?  I'm sure its quite a pretty one and I'd
love to see it once you pull your panties down."

``No, thats not what I want to show you!  What do you see when you look at
the front of my panties?"

``I see a lot of pretty lace and a little ribbon.  Trust me, they really are
beautiful.  You have the most exquisite taste in panties of any girl I've
ever met."

Blake could tell she was being playful and he laughed a little and said, ``I
know you must think I'm crazy, but I just don't want you to be surprised
when I take them off."

``Are you're trying to tell me that you're having your period?  I really
think I can handle seeing a bloody pad.  I've seen enough of my own!"

``No, Joanna.  Its not that, its just that inside my panties I have
something that maybe I shouldn't have, I mean that you weren't expecting
maybe."

He could see Joanna's face pass through a momentary puzzled expression to
sudden enlightenment.  ``Oh my goodness, you're telling me that you have a
tattoo?  Some horrendous tattoo?"

``No, not a tattoo.  Guess again."

``A scar?"

``No!  Don't you see a little bulge there?"

``Don't tell me you're really a little boy!" Joanna exclaimed.

``No, well yes, no well no, no yes." Blake was tongue tied.  ``Joanna!  I am
a girl, but in my panties I have a penis!  Do you see what I'm saying?"

``You're a transvestite?"

``No, not really, not now.  For a while, I guess maybe I was but now I'm a
girl.  That's why I'm telling you this.  So you will understand when you see
it." Blake then pulled down his pantyhose and panties and stepped out of
them so he was now just in his bra.  Though his penis was doing its best to
be invisible, it was quite clearly a penis nonetheless.

``Oh, how darling, Pamela!  God you sure fooled me and my aunts.  A little
boy dressed up as such a pretty girl.  Imagine that.  God are you cute!"
Joanna looked at him intently and smiled.

``You see Joanna..."

``Pamela, you don't have to do any explaining to me.  Not another word.  I
think its just marvelous how precious you are.  All your concern about
getting me upset.  If anything, I'm very happy you're a boy who has become a
girl.  You're the type of boy who could make some woman very happy one day."

``What do you mean?" Blake said surprised.

``Oh, its just that a lot of women would find you a very safe affectionate
partner.  They can get all the benefit of you having a penis, like for
having children and so forth, but you won't be any competition to them in
other areas.  They can be the breadwinner, you know build the relationship
around them, without having to worry about you trying to dominate them."

``But I may want a career too!"

``Perhaps, but I don't think that being so effeminate, you know, worrying
about all your pretty lingerie and dresses and makeup and so forth, you're
going to be very competitive in advancing in your career.  But don't look so
down, that's no problem.  Millions of women choose to be house wives, or
have a career from their home, such as writers and artists and so forth."

``But Joanna, I do want to be a scientist.  Well, I do want to be a mother
first but I also want to be a scientist."

``Well maybe one day your husband or wife or whatever will let you be one."

Blake thought about this and then said, ``it sounds like you don't respect
me."

``Oh, go on, Pamela, don't think that for a second!" Joanna took Blakes
hands in hers and looked at him sympathetically.  ``If I had the chance, I
might even want to have you all for myself!"

``Do you really mean that?" Blake said increduously.

``I certainly do!"

``Aren't you interested in real men?  I mean you're so beautiful and
everything."

``That's real isn't it?" Joanna said, touching the tip of his penis with her
finger.

``You know what I mean.  I'm emotionally a girl now and I don't see how you
could find me attractive."

``Pamela, you might have guessed looking at me.  No, well I guess you're
kind of young and inexperienced, but anyone else would know by looking at me
that I'm sort of a very male kind of woman.  I like making all the
decisions, I don't like men telling me what to do.  I especially don't like
them controlling me sexually.  In fact, Molly and Grace, bless their hearts,
have given me so much flack about not dating nice men."

``You're not a Lesbian are you?"

``No, not really, though I have done some experimentation.  No, I don't date
very much because most men turn me off.  All that body hair and muscles and
sweat."

``You don't like penises?"

``They're OK. They're the one thing I can stand about men.  What about you,
Pamela?"

``Well, I'd be lying if I said that I found strong men repulsive.  Part of
me really likes to feel their hard biceps and to be held in their arms and I
don't mind their chest hair as long it isn't like a rug or something.  And I
guess there really is something nice about a long hard penis, the way it
makes me feel kind of important because I can give it so much pleasure."

``It sounds like you've had a lot of experience!"

``I don't want to give you the wrong impression Joanna.  A few men have had
their way with me in the last couple of weeks because I didn't know how to
stop them, but everything is much better now.  I feel a lot more confidant
that I can be respected by men.  In fact I sort of have a boy friend now, or
at least I think I do.  He's a very nice man, in college who likes opera and
I think he's wild about me."

``What's he going to do when he finds out you have a penis?"

``I don't know Joanna and it makes me very scared.  In fact, part of me
thinks that maybe its a bad idea to have relationships with men cause I
couldn't have a baby with a man, for example.  Its very exciting to me what
you said before, about that you might like a girl like me, because if I met
someone like that, it could maybe solve all my problems."

``But women wouldn't have bulging biceps and broad shoulders."

``Well thats not that important.  Most of my girl friends are a lot stronger
than me, so I guess that a woman like you would be so much stronger than me
it would be like you were a man in comparison."

Joanna was giving Blake that same mysterious look she gave him before.

``Why are you looking at me like that?" Blake asked.

Joanna walked over to him and put her arms around him and drew him in close
to her so his bra was pressed against her blouse.  ``Pamela, why are we
talking so abstractly about `if I met a woman like you' or `if I met a boy
like you'?  The fact of the matter is that we have met each other.  Isn't
that true?"

``I was too shy to say that myself Joanna, but I do feel like I really like
you." Blake looked up into her face and felt an excited twinge of emotion
race up and down his spine.

Joanna leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on his lips and Blake felt
like an ocean of blood was running up to his head and he felt dizzy.  She
broke off the very tender kiss after a few seconds and said, ``Now lets see
what you look like in that corset."

Joanna helped wrap it around Blake's waist.  It was a Victorian wasp-waist
corset, very heavily boned with front hooks and top-to-bottom back lacing
and a fluted waist.  Four garters with metal fasteners dangled from the
bottom hem.  ``Now we have to take off at least four inches from your waist
if we're going to be wearing this properly.  Is that OK?"

``Yes, Joanna.  It might be a little old fashioned, but I think its really
pretty and I sort of like all the boning and its shape."

``We'll see if you still feel the same way when we're done." Joanna began to
lace up the back, pulling in the strings as hard as she could.  Blake felt
the air being forced from his lower lung and a very tight grip on his waist.

``Breathe out while I do it, so we get it tighter," Joanna said and Blake
let out all his air as she gave the laces a mighty tug with her knee up
agains this back.  The corset jumped in a couple of inches and Blake found
himself being pushed toward a whole new level of femininity.  After a few
more mighty pushes the job was done and Joanna tied the end of the strings
into a bow.  She then helped him put on his panties and then some stockings
and fastened them on the garters and then helped him on with his heels.
Blake felt utterly helpless in a way he had never anticipated.  The corset
was controlling his every gesture and thought.  He could take only small
girlish steps now and he instinctly held out his hand for Joanna to guide
and escort him.  He was acutely conscious of his figure, his breasts held up
high and jutting outward and his behind pulled out and to the rear.

``Oh Joanna, I feel so wonderful."

``Go on, Pamela, it looks so completely painful to be in that."

``No, no Joanna.  For me its like a complete liberation from my male self.
I have never felt so totally feminine, like I could just swoon in your arms
and do anything you want me to."

``Well thats the exact opposite of your friend at the girdle shop!"

``I don't know, Joanna, I guess I'll never be that kind of woman.  If
anything she is more like you than me!  Oh, I don't know what I'm saying!  I
just feel so wonderful in some new sort of way I've never felt before.  I
want to float though the house.  Let's go down and see Molly and Grace, can
we!"

``Of course, Pamela, that was the point of dressing you up!  Just take my
arm!"

Joanna held out her arm, like Juergan had done at the rehearsal, and Blake
gently laid his hand on her forearm.  She led him down the stairs and he
felt nearly dizzy with ecstasy.  His legs swished delicately in their small
steps and his arms had lost all their muscles as he had become light as a
feather being led along by Joanna.  At the bottom of the stairs he rushed
forward to the ladies exclaiming, ``Oh Molly and Grace, I can't tell you how
much I love wearing a corset.  It feels wonderful in a whole new way!"

Blake excitedly embraced them both and laughed and pirroutted around them on
the hardwood floors.  ``Oh and I love Joanna so much.  She knew exactly how
to lace me up!"

``Now see Joanna, didn't we tell you that corsets are a woman's best friend!
Look at Pamela, she's in love with the corset and she's in love with you."

``And with you and Grace!" Blake said.

``She's in love with all of us!''  Molly said.

``Come, come Pamela, sit down here next to me," Grace said as she led Blake
to the sofa next to her.  Blake found that he could only sit with his back
rigidly at attention with his breast thrust forward.

``It looks like the two of you outfoxed me," Joanna said.  ``You must have
known how some girls respond to corsets!"

``We did tell you, but you wouldn't listen.  Anyway, your aunts have seen an
awful lot in their time and we do know the power of corsets.  I'll bet that
Pamela is going to find it hard not to want to wear one all the time!"

``Can I?" Blake said.

``Sixty years ago, in Paris, when we were young, but not nowadays my poor
dear, you'd be treated like a mental patient if you did."

``Well, when I'm home sometimes!"

``But you can't get into it without someone to help you.  For that matter
you can't get out of it unless someone unlaces the back!" Joanna said.

``I don't care, then I'll just keep this on the rest of my life!" Blake
laughed.  ``But it is your corset, so I'll need your permission."

``Well, Pamela, you can wear it until you have to go, and then when you come
back - and of course we hope you'll come again - we'll let you try another
one on.  We've got dozens as you saw," Molly said.

``Speaking of going, I guess I do have to go," Blake said dejectedly.

``When will you come again?"

``Whenever you invite me!"

``Molly and Grace, let me get Pamela out of that corset so she can get
going," Joanna said, ``and she and I'll set up a time to meet again."

``Splendid idea," Molly said and Joanna led Blake back upstairs.

In the attic she unfastened the laces and unhooked the corset until it came
off.  ``Your breasts look so real," Joanna said when Blake was standing
naked gathering up his underwear to put on.

``I want to get real ones, I mean I am definitely going to get real ones put
in by surgery, you know silicone ones as soon as I can.  I want to be at
least a C cup like my sister, or maybe even a D cup like my mom."

``God, Pamela, you'd be impossibly sexy with a chest like that!"

``Do you think so?"

``You're slender in just the right way to have large breasts.  But what
about your penis?"

``Well eventually I want to lose it, but not until after I have some kids.
Then, I really would want to get my very own vagina."

``Well thats all very far in the future.  Now, come, let me walk you down to
the road," Joanna said.

                    ********************************

After saying good bye to Molly and Grace, Blake stepped outside with Joanna
and they slowly made their way to the end of the property.

``How can I get a hold of you Pamela?"

``I'll give you my phone number and address." Blake took a pen and paper out
of his purse and wrote down the information for Joanna.

``In a few weeks I'm going to be Pamela all the time.  Then I would love for
you to be my girl friend!"

Joanna looked puzzled at Blake and he said, ``you see only my mom knows
right now and she's going to tell my dad in a couple of weeks.  Once he
knows, I can then be Pamela all the time."

``You're younger than I thought."

Worriedly Blake asked, ``please don't be upset."

``I think we'll have to wait a few years to find out if our relationship can
work out."

Blake started to fight back tears.  ``But Joanna..."

Seeing his tears, she but her arms around his shoulders, ``there, there,
Pamela.  I didn't say we shouldn't see each other, just that, well you know,
with your parents involved it'll be very restrictive."

``But we'll be girls, I mean you'll be my girl friend and then we can see
each other as much as we want."

``I suppose you're right.  Anyway, I'll give you a call next week to see
what your doing."

``I'd really like that Joanna!"

They exchanged a brief kiss and Blake set off homeward.  Randy was nowhere
in sight and he decided to take small streets all the way back to Kathy's
house to make it very unlikely that Randy could find him.

Along the way he decided he really had some important thinking to do.  All
of a sudden he had Juergan, who he knew he had a real crush on, and now
Joanna, for whom he also felt the early pangs of love.  What could he do?
What should he do?  But Joanna was right about one thing.  The whole issue
might be solved very very fast once Juergan knew he had a penis.  The
thought of Juergan being revolted by him gave Blake a nauseous feeling.  He
could never do that to Juergan, yet, unless he were to have surgery almost
immediately, Juergan would eventually find out.  He would have to be very
chaste with Juergan!  Only kissing for a long time to come until he knew
what he wanted to do.  Of course he could give Juergan a lot of pleasure
with his mouth and hands, but Juergan would want to reciprocate, and that
would be a problem.

                    *********************************

At Kathy's house he ran into Mrs.  O'Connor and they sat down to have a chat
together.  ``Mrs.  O'Connor, I wanted to tell you that everything is turning
out great with my mom, and she and I can't ever thank you enough for all you
have done for us."

``I am so glad for you Pamela!  But I must admit that I am a tiny bit sorry
about what happened since I am a little jealous of your mom.  I would have
so much liked to feel that you were my daughter."

Blake couldn't stop tears from filling his eyes and he leaned over to hug
her.  ``But Mrs.  O'Connor you will always be a mom to me, and just as close
as my real mom!  Please don't ever feel jealous like that.  I can't stand
the thought.  You know I love you more than anything!"

``I didn't mean to upset you, honey, I do believe what you're saying and I
will always see you as my daughter.  Then you must always promise to visit
me as often as you can after you become Pamela all the time."

``I certainly will, you know that!"

``This has been such a busy time with the final preparations for the
wedding.  I've been running around like the mad hatter.  Have I told you
what time to show up here Saturday morning?"

``Twelve O'clock noon."

``Yes, that should give you an hour to get ready before we drive over to the
church for the ceremony at 1:30.  By all means you better be prompt!"

``You can count on me!" Blake said, realizing with limitless excitement,
that the big day was almost here!


(c) Copyright 1997: "peter bernard" <pamelapamela@hotmail.com>. 

If you want to post this anywhere else, please ask the author for 
permission first.  Thank you