Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1999 21:53:53 -0000
From: Paul1954
Subject: Double Dare
Double Dare
by Paul1954
Part 1 - The Bet
Friday 20th September, 2005 - 8:50pm
Flight BA212 - Baltimore, Washington to Heathrow, London
Matthew McDonald sat looking at his hands, not quite believing he had
agreed to the bet that he had accepted from his sister. He stretched out
his fingers and examined the coral nail varnish and the narrow white gold
ring on the middle finger of his right hand.
It was most probably just as well that he was completely unaware that, to
anyone looking at him, it would have seemed like a typically feminine
gesture made by a pretty girl.
His eyes strayed down to the short dress that finished only 4" above the
knees. This covered topped the sheer, almost bare, black pantie-hose and
the fine black sling-backs that adorned his legs. He winced a little at the
sight of the matching coral nail-varnish that decorated his toenails.
He wasn't sure exactly how he felt at this moment! He was a little upset,
for reason's he really didn't want to face, and felt threatened by his own
confused feelings, he had not expected to pass as a girl so easily and
after so little preparation!
His trip to the airport had been his first in public 'en femme' and he had
been sure that everyone was going to stare and point at him and that he
would be exposed. He hadn't even expected to get out of the hotel and had,
if he was being honest with himself, been banking on his mother spotting
the charade immediately. It would have been worth the forfeit, he realised,
to put him out of this agony!
He very nearly blew it the minute that he left the hotel as he got into the
car waiting to take them to the airport. He had gone in feet first and
nearly fell over as he tried to ease his exposed legs into the back seat.
His legs had parted and given his sister a free show, which caused her a
lot of amusement, and he only just managed to recover before his mother
arrived at the other side of the car.
The rest of the trip had been uneventful and he had avoided making
conversation with his mother which she had accepted, thinking the 'she' was
obviously too upset to talk much.
Well, he had expected to be stared and pointed at and, Oh! he had been
stared at alright, but only in a way that made him feel acutely
uncomfortable! He now knew the less than subtle scrutiny that women gave to
each other as he felt himself being constantly checked out by his
'sisters'. This was something that he had never really noticed before but,
because he was so nervous at being 'read', he had noticed every little
glance he got.
The other type of staring made him even more uncomfortable! He had
attracted considerable attention from any male that had even halfway looked
in his direction and this sort of attention made him feel exposed and
vulnerable. It was like looking down the barrel of a hunter's gun. He had
been used to being the hunter, not the hunted, and this proved to be a
sobering experience for him. Maybe all men should try this, at least once,
he thought! It might make them understand exactly how a girl feels and,
maybe, make them re-evaluate the way they acted towards them!
He was certainly going to try to change his attitude when he changed back
to his male persona, he determined, although deep down he knew that a
leopard never changes it's spots. He knew that he was never going to go
through this again, whatever the reason. This was a one-off that he had
been suckered into like a nave fool!
He was still regarding himself critically, despite his success so far.
It still seemed to take a constant effort to keep his legs together despite
the gaff that held his penis tightly back inside his legs. He felt quite
tired now; tired from the strain of maintaining this constant charade and
he would be glad when he got back to Sussex and could return to being
himself again.
He looked across the aisle at his mother - she was already sleeping but
that didn't surprise him - she could sleep in the middle of a battlefield!
He turned to his right to see his sister and flushed a little as she
grinned at him. She had short brown hair, cut in a mannish style, and was
wearing the same stylish cut blazer and trousers that he had purchased from
his Regent Street tailor just one week before.
The stewardess leaning across him interrupted his thoughts.
"Can I get you anything Miss" she said with the practised smile that
airline crew wear like a badge of pride. He wasn't aware that the level of
attention he was receiving was anything unusual - he always travelled First
Class. What did seem different was the lack of any sexual undercurrent that
usually accompanied the offer of help from an attractive and young female.
"Uh no thanks, I'm fine right now" he said in a soft soprano voice and put
the complimentary eye shades back over his eyes and inserted the ear plugs
he found in the light pink vanity bag they had given him. He would try and
sleep the rest of this six-hour trip, the less he spoke to his mother, the
less chance he had of giving himself away.
As he settled back to relax he thought back to how he had ended up like
this, dressed and impersonating his sister.
He was one of a pair of identical twins borne to John and Elizabeth
McDonald, identical that is, apart from the small matter of their gender.
When they were smaller, nobody could have told them apart they were so
similar. The tragedy was that they never really knew each other after those
early days, their parents each took custody of a child following an
acrimonious and bitter divorce.
The twins were the only part of the divorce settlement that was evenly
shared as Matthew stayed with his mother and Tamara lived with her father.
Matthew definitely ended up with the better deal as his mother managed to
retain her inherited money, coming from a wealthy family. Tamara was less
lucky. Their father had no real money of his own and, due to the
well-publicised affair he had with a 'B' movie actress, was left virtually
penniless.
Matthew and his mother had remained in the family estate in Sussex, in the
South of England, but his father had taken Tamara back to Edinburgh to
return to his family. His fierce Scottish pride had led him to refuse any
offers of money that his ex-wife made to make their lives, mainly Tamara's
life anyway, a little easier. This upset Elizabeth but there was nothing
she could do about it and tried to bury her grief at losing her only
daughter.
Matthew's life had, so far, been a bed of roses. He had received every
advantage that his mother's money, and her good connections, could have
given him. He had left University at twenty-one and walked straight into
owning his own business, courtesy of his mother. It was a 'can't fail'
advertising agency where he only employed the best creative consultants,
money was no real object, and had achieved instant success.
Within a year the business was virtually running itself and Matthew had
more than enough time to indulge in one of the real passions in his life,
managing a Touring Car Racing team. The silver spoon, that seemed to reside
permanently in his mouth showed no sign of tarnishing as his team,
sponsored by his mother of course, was soon successful enough to obtain
independent financial backing from a top brand beer company.
He was constantly pictured with a beautiful girl, usually blond, on his arm
but had recently become serious over one particular model, Katrina, who was
now his regular girlfriend and the other passion in his life. There were
even rumours that an engagement was going to be announced soon.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tamara's life was as different from this as it could get. Her father
struggled to get any regular employment and she received only the most
basic of educations that the state provided. She left school as soon as it
was legal to do so without any qualifications whatsoever and soon entered a
series of menial jobs. The latest job was that of a clerical assistant in a
small firm of accountants.
There had never been any discernible bitterness on her part, her father had
loved and protected her from any publicity and, living in Edinburgh, they
were shielded from the glare of publicity that surrounded Elizabeth and
Matthew.
Last month her father had enjoyed a small win on the Lottery and had
decided to indulge both Tamara and himself by taking a trip to Washington -
they had relations in Baltimore and he had always wanted to visit there.
It was while they were there that her father was mugged and critically
injured. He had too much to drink one night and had ended up in the wrong
part of town still carrying what was left of his winnings. Two days after
that incident he died leaving a distraught Tamara to cope with her loss.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Word of her ex-husbands death soon got back to Elizabeth McDonald and she
decided to fly out to Washington, along with Matthew, to see if she could
help Tamara and to try and re-build the bridges that had been broken so
many years ago. Neither she, nor Matthew, had seen Tamara for over fourteen
years now!
They re-united with Tamara as soon as they reached the hotel that had been
arranged for them all. After trying to console Tamara in her grief, Matthew
felt nothing for the father he had never known, they settled down and took
stock of themselves.
They were all shocked at how very much alike the twins still were and how,
despite growing up apart from each other, they had changed very little. If
they had been of the same gender, they would have been indistinguishable
from each other and Matthew felt a little uneasy, when he realised this was
more down to clothes and make-up rather than anything physical.
Oh sure, Tamara had slightly wider hips, slighter more refined shoulders
and her hair was longer but that was about all (apart from the generous
bust-line she possessed)! Their faces were virtually identical apart from
Tamara having slightly fuller lips and brighter eyes; Matthew had always
sported a narrow jaw-line.
He also had slender arms and hands, with very little muscle development.
That was the reason why he had managed a Touring Car Team rather than
participate as a driver - he could never acquire the upper body strength
needed to control a twisting car driven at high speeds, despite spending a
fortune at the gym!
Tamara was pleased to see her brother again, she had long speculated on how
he might have turned out, and bore him no real grudge. There was a little
lingering resentment about how he had everything so easy, especially in
comparison to how she and her father had struggled to keep solvent, but she
was sensible enough to realise that this wasn't down to Matthew.
She found it much harder, though, to deal with her mother. Her dislike of
her, fed by stories from her father, bordered on hatred but she didn't want
to fall into the trap of becoming hard and embittered and tried to make an
effort to block out the years of her recognised resentments. Deep down
though, she could not rid herself of the feelings of abandonment and
rejection - how could a mother ever give up her own daughter for whatever
the reason? She would never understand why she hadn't fought harder to keep
her children together!
These feelings were not intended to be critical of her father, he had done
everything within his power - apart from accepting his ex-wife's charity -
to provide for her and she had loved him deeply for that. It just signified
the gulf between her and her mother, a gulf, she believed, that could never
be bridged!
Her father had been buried in Washington - Tamara had no need to bring him
home, as he would always live forever inside of her head. She considered
the body to be merely a shell, and she took up her mother and Matthew's
offer to stay on in Washington with them for a few days. This was mainly to
give herself a chance to get to know Matthew better.
They had got on well from the start and had managed to cross the years they
had been separated with an ease that surprised them both. To her regret,
Elizabeth had failed to forge a new bond with her daughter. She accepted
that her own strong will, the same strong will that was much in evidence
within her own daughter, along with the history between them would ever
prevent this happening.
Tamara had refused any offer of financial help with a curt statement "I
have managed this far without your help and, however hard it may prove to
be, I think I will still manage on my own". She did this out of a sense of
loyalty to her father but also because she did not want to be beholden to
her mother for anything. Elizabeth was both proud and disappointed at how
strong her daughter was and knew that, indeed, she would cope!
The growing ease and familiarity that Matthew and Tamara felt led to
regular bouts of friendly banter between them and this led, one day, to a
bet - or dare - that would lead to permanent, and unimaginable, changes to
the both of their lives.
They were still a little shocked at the physical similarity between them
and Tamara knew that Matthew felt a little threatened by this, much to her
amusement. A friendly argument had led to a point where Tamara responded
with a challenge that they were so alike that with a change of clothing,
and also a little work on his appearance, that she was sure that Matthew
could have passed for her!
As she expected, Matthew merely scoffed at her suggestion and, snorted in
derision when she suggested that she would have no problem at passing as
him.
An evil glint appeared in Tamara's eyes as her challenge started to grow
into a full blown dare.
She knew that he got irritated by the fact that she preceded him by a mere
fourteen minutes, that had been one of her many interesting discoveries
over the last couple of days, and she was going to use all of her armoury
in an attempt to provoke him.
"What's the matter little brother" she needled him as she watched his eyes
harden, "are you so unsure about your own masculinity that you're afraid to
put on a frock?"
Ouch, that hurt! She could see that she had scored with her first blow.
"W .. what .. I .." he stuttered and blustered in a poor attempt at a
repost.
She pressed home her early advantage before he could think straight.
"And do you think that you're soooo .. big and tough that a poor little old
girl like me couldn't pretend to be a big strong man like you?" she
continued as she ran her delicately painted fingers down his chest and
lowered her head to look through her fluttering, and mascara'd, eyelashes
at him. She had needed to do this, as she was slightly taller than him now
in her 2" heels.
He had no real answers for her and just blustered, making futile denials
and protestations, and making the almost childlike claim that he wasn't
scared of anything! She knew that she now had him over a barrel and circled
in for the kill!
And as it has ever been, since time began, another man was manipulated by
the 'weaker' sex into acting as she desired by uttering just a few, well
chosen words proving that the pen, or in this case the voice, is indeed far
mightier than the sword!
"Well if you're so sure about that then I dare you to prove it, go on - let
me just see you put your money where your mouth is!" she said aggressively
with her slender jaw sticking out and her hands placed firmly on her hips.
"Wha.. what do you mean?" he questioned nervously, realising for the first
time that she had forced him on the defensive and had him hooked.
She started to reel him in.
"What I mean Matthew, is that we should put this to the test. You can take
my place and I will take yours".
"Bu .. but" he spluttered helplessly like a fish desperately seeking water.
"Well come on then, are you prepared to have a go at this? Go on, I bet
that just haven't got the balls to do it have you - or rather you have but
maybe you shouldn't have eh!" she said and started laugh at her own weak
joke.
He was still hesitating a little, despite the jibes until she finally said,
"Come on little brother. I dare you! Let's make it interesting and have a
bet or are you chicken?".
That was it! He could never refuse a dare and found it even harder to turn
down a bet.
"ALL RIGHT, Okay then you're on" he said as Tamara squealed and jumped in
the air clapping her hands.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
It was later the next day that Tamara and Matthew sat in her hotel room
dressed in their everyday clothes. A casual observer would have seen an
attractive young couple preparing for a night on the town.
The girl sat in front of the mirror that topped the vanity table, and
looked critically at herself. She was wearing a little black dress, barely
black tights and black court shoes. A thin gold necklace and a pair of
matching earrings completed the picture.
The young man wore a white long-sleeved shirt, a smart blazer, and an
expensive looking pair of pants and brown suede shoes. He looked pleased
with himself as he pulled at his blazer sleeve making sure his cuffs
protruded at the correct length.
"Well I think I make a pretty convincing picture, what do you think?" the
man said with a deep timbre to his voice as he looked in the full-length
mirror on the back of the cupboard door.
The girl turned around and looked him up and down.
"I've got to give it to you Tamara, I would never have believed it possible
but I'm beginning to think I might be on to a loser here" she said in a
soft soprano voice with just a hint of a Scottish accent.
"I think you're right. I'm really impressed with your commitment to the
cause, though I never thought you'd go this far," Tamara said as she looked
at his smoothly shaven legs and pierced ears.
The most impressive part of his costume however, was the realistic looking
cleavage that he now sported. Tamara had been amazed when she first saw
these and had, at first, thought he had breast implants inserted. Surely he
wouldn't have gone that far! The truth was a little less stunning but, none
the less, still surprised her. It certainly demonstrated how keen he was to
win, or maybe he was keener not to lose their bet.
He had, that very morning, visited a recommended cosmetic surgeon and had
been injected with a water based gelatine substance behind his natural
breast cavity. The gelatine had mixed with his natural body fluid and had
swelled out to give him the equivalent of a 36C size pair of breasts. He
had been assured that they would only last like this for a week before the
gelatine compound started being absorbed back into his body, but that would
be more than enough for his purposes. A little exercise would soon restore
any stretched skin that remained.
His painted finger went to his ear and played with an earring as he looked
at his made-up face in the mirror. Although the head turned as he moved,
and the mouth opened in time with him as he made an 'O' shape with his
lips, he still found it hard to believe that he wasn't looking at his
sister!
The human hair shoulder length wig mimicked Tamara's hair perfectly in both
colour and shape, and he had it tightly secured by having it woven into his
own hair. She had helped him style it for the first few times until he was
able to do it for himself.
He considered the terms of the bet with a little annoyance, mainly
annoyance at himself! He knew that he was now fully committed to this
impersonation if he wasn't to miss out on one of the loves of his life!
The agreed bet was that Matthew would impersonate Tamara for the trip back
to England in three days time. This would give him plenty of time to
prepare himself. If he could remain undetected during their trip then
Tamara would swallow her stubborn pride and live with Matthew and her
mother for the next six months. He thought that this would be a win, win
for him as he felt that he had re-discovered another part of himself and
didn't want to lose that! It might also give her the chance to get over the
prejudice she held towards their mother - he was sure that, once she got to
know her better, she would see that their separation wasn't all their
mother's fault.
If he was 'read', or found out, it in this charade, then he would have to
give up managing his racing team and give the money to charity. She had
managed to get him to agree to this by, again, daring him - some people
never learn!
He now knew that his impersonation would have to be very convincing,
convincing enough to fool even his own mother, and he didn't really know if
he truly believed it was possible! Oh yes, if even his mother spotted the
charade then he would pay the forfeit!
Tamara would, of course, have to play Matthew's role but she was confident
she could carry it off. As he looked at her he knew she had been right!
The make-up and clothes had given Matthew a convincing feminine appearance.
Much harder to mimic would be the voice and he was convinced, at first,
that this is where he would be exposed. He was not a quitter however and
had, that very day, found contacts that would provide him with a throat
spray that would give his voice the pitch and softness of a female for a
period of eight hours. Money could work wonders if you let it!
It had taken a little practice but less than six hours later he had managed
to produce a good facsimile of his sister's voice, the accent had taken
only a little more effort. He also managed to get a male version of this
spray for Tamara and asked her to use it. He needed her to be successful if
he was to pull this off! She had also had her hair cut to resemble his
natural style; she certainly was doing her utmost to succeed.
He had been a little surprised at how helpful she had been in making him
look convincing, after all - she was helping him to win his bet - but she
explained this by saying that she had a no hope job with poor pay and had
little to lose. If she had to move into the family home again for a while -
well, she could live with that!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Part 2 - Winner Takes All
The remainder of the flight went smoothly and everyone just accepted
Matthew and Tamara for who they appeared to be. Matthew's heart fluttered a
little when they were stopped as they went through customs, especially when
he presented his sister's passport to the officials, but they were waived
through with no further checks. He hadn't even considered, prior to the
trip, that there might have been the possibility of a full body search
being made on him, or even on his sister, and a cold chill ran down his
spine at the thoughts of his exposure and the publicity this would have
generated!
Tamara had sailed through her own impersonation with a swagger and seemed
to enjoy the reversed roles immensely.
Their mother had never realised that her children had swapped places.
Tamara had kept her distance a little, fearing that her mother's greater
familiarity with Matthew would allow her to spot any anomalies with her
behaviour. Matthew was less confident about fooling her but Elizabeth had
put any strange behaviour down to Tamara's recent bereavement and the
knowledge that she really didn't know her at all anymore!
They had been collected from the airport and driven back to the family
mansion on an unusually quiet drive down the M25 and M23 motorways on a
misty, autumnal Saturday morning. As the car door was opened for him
Matthew sniffed the air and drank in the heady aroma of a crisp, and
slightly damp, English morning. He had always loved that evocative aroma of
smoke and the coolness of the early morning mist that always hung in the
air, as the first fallen leaves were either rotting, or being burnt. It
made him long for the early morning practise sessions around Thruxton
racetrack that he enjoyed so much!
He had almost forgotten that he was still in disguise, his thoughts taking
him elsewhere, and he was jolted back to reality as his butler, Clarkson,
held out a hand to him and held Matthew's white gloved hand.
"Can I help you Miss?" he asked politely as he took my weight as my legs
swung around. Matthew's exit from the car was far more graceful than his
entry in Washington had been and, for the first time, he actually enjoyed
this charade as he wondered what Clarkson would have thought if he had
known who he really was helping out of the car!
It was a relieved Matthew that finally flopped down in the guestroom that
had been made ready for Tamara. The travellers had all gone to their rooms
to freshen up before enjoying a late breakfast. He removed Tamara's clothes
and went to the bathroom to have a really good soak and to start removing
every last trace of his disguise. The only thing that wouldn't disappear,
for now, were his newly acquired breasts. He would have to bind these for a
couple more days until they were absorbed. They still seemed to be as firm
as when they were first created and, as he cupped them and felt their
weight, he had to admit that he might even miss their jiggling and swaying
for a while, after he got back to normal!
The first sign that all was not well was when he found that he couldn't
take his wig off. He pulled at the hair and tugged where he thought the
loose weaves had been inserted. Shit! What was he going to do now?
He looked around for some clothes to wear but found that only Tamara's
cases had been left in his room. He saw exactly what he had expected to see
as he opened up her cases to find them all full of dresses, lingerie and
other female items of apparel, why should he have expected to see anything
else!
Realising that he didn't have any of his own clothes to wear he wrapped a
white bath towel around himself. He felt ridiculous as he made sure to tuck
it around his bosom as he had seen so many of his girlfriend's do in the
past - what on earth had made him get himself into this mess!
He wrapped another towel around his head to hide his longer hair, and poked
his head around the doorway to make sure that nobody was coming. Seeing
that the coast was clear, he crept across the hallway towards his own
bedroom.
He rapped gently on the door and gently called out "Tamara, Tamara - it's
me Matthew" but got no answer. He repeated the exercise with the same
result.
He moved quickly back to Tamara's room and considered his options for a
moment. They seemed to be pretty limited from where he was standing and he
looked to see if there were any scissors available - at least then, he
could get rid of this hair!
His thoughts were cut short by the phone ringing, and he removed the towels
as he walked across to answer it - he felt so stupid looking like some shy
girl!
As he answered it his voice started to break. This would have been alright
if was replying as Matthew which is how he had planned it, but he was
answering Tamara's phone in Tamara's room. To the rest of the world he was
Tamara.
"Tamara . . are you Okay, you sound a little horse?".
Damn, it was his mother!
"Ye .. yes thank you, I'm fine. Flying always affects me like this, it must
be the air they always re-circulate through the system" Matthew replied
struggling to maintain Tamara's high-pitched voice.
"Then we look forward to seeing you shortly. Matthew is already down here
and feeling hungry, will you be long?".
Matthew .. downstairs - what the hell did she think she was doing - what
was Tamara playing at?
He guessed that this wasn't any accident. Tamara had known that he had won
the bet and was now getting her pound of flesh by extending the joke a
little. Well, he really had no choice! He only had her clothes and knew
that they consisted entirely of skirts and dresses. He had seen her wearing
pants in Washington so she must have deliberately packed them elsewhere,
confirming that she must have set this up deliberately!
He resigned himself to continuing the charade, and had to admire Tamara's
cheek as he started to assemble what he needed to wear.
His many practice sessions in Washington had paid off and he was able to
dress, and make himself up, in just under the hour. He had changed into a
mid-thigh length maroon dress that was casual and comfortable as well as
complimenting his brunette hair. It was too much work to change the
nail-varnish and lipstick to match and he could not be bothered, still
feeling annoyed at Tamara's deception.
A quick spray of the voice altering solution followed by a quick test to
make sure he still sounded like Tamara, and he walked down the stairs,
through the hallway and into the lounge. Elizabeth and Tamara were already
waiting and were drinking some fresh orange juice. He felt his legs tremble
a little when he saw their neighbours sharing a drink with them.
"At last, I will never understand why women take so long to get ready. Just
what is it that you do?" Tamara said to him in mock surprise, tongue lodged
firmly in cheek.
Matthew was fuming. How dare she make a fool of him this way!
Tamara led him over to his neighbours and introduced him to them. He prayed
to the heavens that he could maintain his disguise as they traded small
talk for a few minutes.
It was a few minutes after this that Tamara walked over to Matthew and put
his arm around his maroon clad shoulders.
"Well, I just thought I'd tell you that we're off now. Tamara was keen to
return home as soon as possible and, if we hurry, we can catch the next
shuttle to Edinburgh from Gatwick".
Matthew was completely speechless as Tamara turned towards him with a gleam
in her eye as she continued.
"I've had your things packed again sis, now you'd better say your goodbyes
and we can get off - we don't want to miss our flight!".
Matthew was swept along like a twig in rapids, totally out of control and
following whichever way the current swept him. There was nothing that he
could do without exposing his real identity and his pride wouldn't allow
that!
His mother had shaken his hand goodbye, displaying no sign of any intimacy,
and he had been led into the waiting car that headed towards Gatwick. He
glared at Tamara as she sat next to him in the back seat, but could elicit
nothing from her except a large grin and a teasing hand on his exposed
thigh, which he slapped away. He couldn't afford to have the driver
overhearing their conversation so he kept quiet until the reached the
airport and wondered what would happen to him now!
It wasn't until Tamara had paid for their tickets, using his credit card as
well - the nerve, and they were sitting alone in the Club Class lounge,
that Matthew finally got the chance to talk to her. He exploded.
"What in heavens name do you think you are playing at" he growled at her in
a loud hissing voice. "I was going to meet Katrina tonight, and instead I'm
sitting in the First Class Lounge of an airport waiting for yet another
damn flight - this time to your 'Bonny Scotland'. Why are you doing this?".
Despite his obvious annoyance she couldn't help smiling at him in that
playful, yet lascivious and mischievous way, that he was fast becoming
accustomed to!
"I couldn't resist it, you looked so cute and sexy I just had to have you
to myself a little longer" she said in a suggestive manner.
Whatever he had expected it had not been this. He was sitting with his
sister, wearing a dress and heels and fiddling with his handbag. He felt so
ridiculous that his anger dissipated like the air out of a burst balloon.
He could nothing else but laugh at her outrageous behaviour and hugged her
as he realised how much he had missed her over the years.
The feelings that he was now experiencing were like a revelation to him. It
was like discovering a whole new part of yourself, and he realised that
without Tamara he had never, truly, been whole. He now knew that his
current predicament was a small price to pay for discovering her again and
he felt tears running down his face, smearing his mascara in the process.
He wasn't sure if his tears were from laughter or from joy, probably a
mixture of both, what's more he didn't care!
Tamara pulled his head back and kissed him gently as she wiped away his
tears with a tissue.
"Go on Matthew, you'd better go and tidy yourself up, your make-up's
running. Oh, and don't be long - the flight will be called any minute now".
He laughed, he had never expected to hear such a thing said to him! He
found the ladies restroom and cleaned his face and re-applied his make-up
until he looked presentable to himself and returned to the lounge as the
flight was called. He realised that he was looking forward to spending a
few days with Tamara again but resolved to buy some clothes for himself -
his days of pretending to be a female were coming to an end - or so he
thought!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Part 3 - The Trip to Whoever
Saturday 21st September, 2005 - 16:45pm
Flight BA BA2450 - London, Gatwick to Edinburgh
There was no real First Class in the 737, just a curtained off area to give
the illusion of exclusivity, but Matthew and Tamara sat there all the same,
courtesy of Matthew's AMEX Gold card.
They took no notice as the stewardesses went through the usual emergency
procedures for the sixty minute journey and were relieved when the aircraft
finally lined up on runway 8L after, what had seemed, an interminable
period of time.
It didn't matter how many times that Matthew flew, he still got a buzz from
the sudden burst of acceleration as the 737 attacked the runway. The
aircraft quickly grabbed at the sky and continued Eastwards, climbing to
eighteen hundred feet before starting to bank left for the heading that
would take it east of London on it's journey north.
It was as the aircraft started to turn that it first gave a slight shudder
and the passengers hands gripped the seat arms nervously, fearing that
something had gone wrong. Everything seemed to happen quickly after that
and desperate screaming filled the air along with the pungent smell of
electrical burning as the pilot tried to prevent the aircraft going into a
stall.
Twenty seconds later flight BA2450 plunged to the earth, just four miles
from the airport, slicing through a thick copse of woodland before ending
up in two parts.
There were few survivors, and these had all been in the front part of the
aircraft where the cockpit, and the two rows of seats behind it, had
separated from the main body of the aircraft. The survivors were lucky, if
anyone could have called their experience lucky, that they had ended up
thirty feet away when the full fuel tanks caught alight. Nobody, that was
still alive after the initial impact, could have survived the conflagration
that followed as the fireball lit the sky for miles around.
Even those who had been with the emergency services for years found it hard
to hold onto the contents of their stomachs as the first of them arrived
ten minutes later. Bizarrely enough the captain and co-pilot had got off
best with both still conscious when the services arrived.
Of the remaining three survivors, one died before reaching hospital.
"Quick, over here" called out one rescuer, Jeff Quigly, on searching
behind what was left of the cockpit, "I think these two are alive" although
how they had remained alive defied all sense of humanity.
The two seats, containing what was left of Matthew and Tamara, were still
joined together, linked by a piece of the railing that had held them to the
floor. Within the seats were, what could only be described as, two bloody
mounds of tissue, the bodies had sustained extensive mutilation but,
amazingly enough, apart from the chest and lower body areas, their clothing
appeared to remain relatively untouched. Seasoned air investigators often
witnessed these logic-defying anomalies and it still seemed like a minor
miracle when it happened!
The girl's dress was still recognisable, as were the remains of a bra. A
chill ran down Jeff's spine as he saw that she was still clutching her
handbag. He carefully cut the strap from her hand, and removed it as gently
as he could. This would be invaluable when it came to identification. The
handbag seemed to be untouched and, as he opened it, he was rewarded with
the sight of a passport and the carbon stub of the air ticket.
As he waited for the summoned medical help to arrive, he knew that helping
their injuries was way beyond his capabilities, he looked at the passport
details. The picture showed a pretty dark-haired girl, with a slightly
mischievous look about her. She wasn't beautiful, as in the style of a
model, but was very attractive in a much more natural way. The name read
Tamara McDonald and the birth-date showed that she was just twenty-one
years old.
He looked back at what remained of her, still strapped in the seat, and
thanked God that she would be completely unaware of the extent of her
injuries, and choked a little as he wondered what sort of future she would
have now.
He could hear help coming as he parted what was left of the mans jacket and
felt inside the inner pocket where he found another passport. This was
unusually lucky for them, two passengers still with their passports on an
internal flight! He couldn't have realised that they were still carrying
these from their earlier trip!
He was taken aback, a little, when he looked at this man's details.
"Matthew McDonald" he said aloud as he performed a double take on seeing
the man's photograph. The resemblance between him and this girl was
remarkable. Further investigation showed he carried the same birth-date as
the girl and their resemblance now made sense to him as he realised they
were twins.
The irony continued as he could see that they now shared something else. An
overhead panel had come loose from the ceiling and sliced through their
bodies before coming to rest in their laps. The same panel was still
embedded within them and he knew that they would have to cut it away if
they were to get them out of here.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Elizabeth McDonald was just lying down, trying to recover from the jet lag
that she always suffered from after a transatlantic flight, when she was
brought back to the real world by a knocking on her bedroom door. She tried
to ignore it but the knocking returned. It was not going to go away so she
raised herself from her bed and opened the door, putting her face around
the small crack, to find Clarkson standing there with a grave expression on
his face.
"Madam, I have been asked to fetch you, there are some police downstairs
who insist on seeing you" he said.
Elizabeth sighed and shut the door.
"Tell them I will be right down" she called through the door to him and put
on a jogging suit, she couldn't face getting dressed - she just didn't have
the energy. She looked in the mirror, straightened a few stray hairs, and
walked through to the lounge where two Policemen were waiting.
"Madam, I'm afraid we have some bad news - would you just sit down for a
moment!".
Her heart sank but she remained standing - could it be about Matthew -
Tamara!
"No thank you - I would prefer it if you just tell what you've got to say.
I don't like melodrama" she said with great dignity.
"There has been a plane crash to the North East of Gatwick. According to
the passenger list your son and daughter were on board".
She remained standing firm and seemed to grow a little as she inhaled,
subconsciously trying to increase her intake of oxygen to steady herself.
"Wer .. were", she nearly broke, "were there any survivors?".
"There were just four maam, but we believe your children may be amongst
them".
"Oh thank God!" she uttered and it was at this point that Clarkson stepped
in to support her - she looked ready to collapse.
"I must warn you maam" the Policeman continued, "they are extremely ill and
in a critical condition. It is not known whether it will be possible to
save them".
"No, no .. I can't let that happen. I .. I've got to see them, please take
me to them" Elizabeth said as her stoical countenance cracked for the first
time and tears started to build in her eyes.
Her long forgotten religious practices suddenly seemed to beckon to her and
she walked to the waiting Police vehicle clutching a hastily retrieved set
of rosary beads.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Saturday 21st September, 2005 - 21:12pm
Sussex General Hospital, Crawley
A trolley was being wheeled swiftly, but smoothly, along the corridor of
the Special Burns Unit followed by, what seemed to be it's exact duplicate.
Each trolley had what remained of a human being, still recognisable as such
despite the appalling desecration that had been inflicted on their bodies.
It was ironic really, the identical twin passengers had suffered,
virtually, identical injuries and were being wheeled on identical trolleys
in a identical fashion. Suspended drip feeds were attached to the arms and
oxygen masks were put over what was left of their faces.
The identical treatment they had received, symbolically, parted at that
point as one trolley was wheeled to the female unit, the other to the male
area.
The patients had only suffered minor burns damage but it was the only unit
that had the facilities to cope with the horrific injuries they bore so
would have to do!
Within ten minutes each were lying on an operating table within their
sections.
"Look at this, it's unbelievable how she has survived so long" Dr. Stephen
Budd said as he started to cut away the clothing that had almost seemed to
fuse with the body, bonded together by the dried blood that covered them.
Despite having operated on many injuries, of all types, this was certainly
one of the worst cases that he had ever seen. It appeared that a piece of
the overhead panel had broken on impact and had 'sliced' downwards catching
part of the girls face, slicing through the throat and upper torso before
imbedding itself into the lower body area. Part of the panel was still
lodged there and he knew that he didn't have the skill, or the nerve, to
remove it. He decided to leave the clothing as it was and went to confer
with a colleague.
In the male section, a similar scene was unveiling. A part of the same
panel was lodged in the man's gut. His chest had almost been peeled bare as
the panel had slid down, and lumps of tissue had been removed from all
around his torso and down to his thighs.
This hospital simply did not have the expertise to treat these injuries and
a decision was made to remove them as they were, to the a research unit in
Oban, West Scotland which was the only place with the facilities to keep
them alive. This was arranged immediately.
And so it was that Matthew and Tamara completed their third flight in
twenty-four hours and, finally, arrived in Glasgow, Scotland. It wasn't by
the East coast, where they had planned to be, and they were not travelling
First Class this time but neither had ever experienced the level of
attention they were now receiving on any flight that they had previously
been on. A high-tech ambulance took them the remainder of the way on the
two-hour trip to the Oban facility.
As with their entry to Crawley hospital, The McDonald's were placed in
separate wings as appropriate to their gender.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Part 4 - A New Hope
Sunday 22nd September, 2005 - 9:06am
Oban Research Facility, Scotland
The Doctor came out of the operating theatre and took off the green gown
and removed his cap and gloves. He washed his hands twice before filling
them with water and burying his face in them, in an attempt to shake
himself back to alertness. This had always been the part of the job that he
hated most, the moment that he had to give what was usually, bad news.
It was one of the reasons he had left the mainstream medical profession and
had buried himself away up here so that he could indulge in his first love,
research. He hated having to handle the emotional side of the job,
preferring to avoid it completely!
The research centre specialised in cloning, as well as repairing serious
accident injuries, and it was by pure chance that he had been the only
Doctor available when the patients had been brought in. At only twenty-six
he hadn't gotten very far, being just a junior within an internal
hierarchy. He had spent more time as an assistant than as a pioneer,
despite the promising advances he had made in his first year.
It had been a gruelling session in the operating theatre. The injuries had
been amongst the worst that he had seen. He had operated on the girl whilst
a colleague had dealt with the man although, if it hadn't been for the
remnants of their clothing, it would have been almost impossible to tell
who was who!
She had suffered flashburns to her face and every hair on her head had been
stripped away along with the top layer of skin. The hair follicles seemed
to have been burnt away and he didn't think it was likely that it would
ever grow back again.
The throat had been damaged considerably and the upper chest area had been
sliced clean through leaving only a few flaps of stretched tissue and skin
where the breasts had been. As the panel piece had been removed they had
found that she had been almost disembowelled with the whole stomach area
being a bloody mess. The injuries had continued downwards, leaving a huge
gash between the legs before resting between the thighs buried 2" deep
within the leg itself.
Beneath all of this damaged tissue lay a mass of broken bones. There seemed
to be no part of the body that had remained undamaged and he really did not
know where to start, shaking his head in despair!
It was later after consulting with his colleague, the surgeon who had
operated on this girl's brother, that he found that her brother had
suffered almost identical injuries to her.
"Mrs McDonald!" he said as he walked into the waiting room to see the
striking late middle-aged woman standing looking out the window. As she
turned around he could see the strain she was under, but he could also see
a steely-eyed determination in her eyes.
He continued "My name is Dr. Frobisher, that is Dr. Alan Frobisher. Please,
take a seat over here" he said as he led her towards an uncomfortable
looking chair in the corner.
He thought that they should really provide better facilities for their
visitors but they didn't really get many up here so it had seemed an
extravagance!
"I'm afraid that the news is not too good. You know, I presume, that they
both had part of the aircraft embedded in them. It may sound surprising,
but it was a good job that nobody tried to remove it. I think that the
debris helped to staunch the wounds and they would probably have bled to
death if it had been removed. We have spent the last few hours removing it
and have just finished. We have managed to stabilise their condition for
the time being, but the prognosis is not looking too good at the moment.
They have both suffered severe internal damages, as well as extensive
external injuries.".
Elizabeth wavered a little but remained resolute and Alan Frobisher had to
admire her fortitude as she composed herself.
"I need to know Doctor , what will their lives be like if they survive?"
"Well" he started to say and then paused for a second, "I think we can most
probably keep them alive. It may even be possible to re-build them to a
degree but existing regulations will not allow us to apply the techniques
we have been developing that would allow them to regain a more than decent
quality of life".
Despite her upset Elizabeth seized on his last statement.
"Legally allow you .. did you say legally! That must mean that you could do
something for them. Just is it what you are researching here?" she
questioned as she stared deep into his eyes, almost daring him to deny what
he had just said!
Dr. Frobisher's conscience was troubling him. He knew that this woman had
no other dependants apart from these children and besides, if he was honest
with himself, he was desperate for a chance to test his new technique out
on something other than pigs and lab rats. There was little hope for these
people other than the help that only he could provide.
Elizabeth listened quietly while he told her about the research carried out
here, and about his research in particular. The research centres major
activity was centred on cloning and they had been making major progress in
this area for some years now. They had kept their activities very low key,
following the revelations of the first world-wide success when scientists
in Britain produced the first surviving clone, the famous "Dolly" the
sheep, about ten years ago.
There had been a worldwide furore at the announcement and this had prompted
caution at this twin establishment. He took Elizabeth back to the window
and pointed towards the hillside.
"You see those cattle grazing over there, they are all products of this
centre" he said proudly. "Furthermore" he continued, "they are a breed that
has been extinct for over ten years, victims of the BSE epidemic that swept
the United Kingdom in the nineties.
"Are you trying to tell me that you can clone human beings - are you saying
that you can clone my children" she said almost in desperation - surely
this couldn't be true!
"No, no" he said swiftly trying to dampen her enthusiasm a little, "that is
still a taboo subject, even in this day and age, and has still never been
achieved. My own research has been centred on organ cloning with a view to
help alleviate the current shortage of human body parts required for
transplants. There had been some success in using pig hearts and kidneys
during the last decade but there were too many theological opponents, and a
natural human revulsion, to allow this to prosper as an option".
He was now in full flow as the obsession, that had dominated his life for
the last year, was given full reign.
"I have been trying to grow human replacement parts from volunteer donors.
If this is successful then it will be possible for everybody to have a
spare set of vital organs for whenever they need them. I have managed to
grow a working human heart in just six months".
"Are you telling me that you could use this to help my children! Then what
is stopping you?" Elizabeth said, as her voice raised a little in her
impatience!
"The only limiting factor now is money and some political lobbying. I know
it seems mercenary but there simply isn't enough funds to support what I
have discovered and, without that becoming available, I will never get the
support from the management here, politically or otherwise!" he said
feeling a little dirty, he almost felt like he was blackmailing her!
As he had guessed, she would not let a thing like money prevent her from
doing whatever it took to save her remaining family. He knew that he could
win over his management and she had many friends in high places to fight
the political battle. They were under ever increasing pressure from the
current Government and their facility was, with the country being in the
middle of another recession, at this very moment under threat.
Elizabeth McDonald was made well aware of the risks that this pioneering
treatment presented to her children, but still decided to sponsor the
developments needed to give them a chance to survive with a decent quality
of life. She could never have done any other.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tuesday 24th September, 2005 - 11:45am
Luing, Scotland
It had gone exactly as he had predicted, the management decided to back his
proposal and allow Mrs McDonald to fund the developments needed to restore
her children back to health.
The key development would be establishing an additional facility to the
existing one. The current centre only had the capability of treating one
patient at a time and this treatment was likely to take years before it was
completely finished. Andrew Frobisher gained an effective promotion and was
put in charge of the project to convert some of the facilities within the
existing centre at Oban and to, simultaneously, develop an existing
property of theirs on the south side of the tiny island of Luing.
Andrew had driven the thirty-minute journey along the single-lane road to
the coastline, and then took the small ferry across to the island's only
road. A ten-minute drive got him to the island's south coast.
He left the four-wheel drive vehicle and breathed in the peat-laden air as
he surveyed the research agency property.
He was a little disappointed when he saw the dilapidated house in the
middle of a large, and barren, plain. The Ministry of Defence warning signs
were still present and a, still intact, barbed-wire perimeter fence
protected it. He had been told that this place had been one of the
best-kept secrets during the cold war back in the last century. He now knew
that, underneath this innocuous looking house, there existed a small maze
of bunkers and rest rooms that would have allowed up to ten occupants to
become virtually self-sufficient for anything up to a year.
The property had been handed over to the research agency when the
government were cutting back on all defence activities , primarily due to
cost of maintaining it's upkeep. The research agency had never used it and
it was now under consideration on whether it should be left to run to ruin.
Despite the house's appearance he had been told that the bunkers had been
maintained and kept in pristine condition, who knew when they would be
needed! They had an independent power supply - as well as the standard
power feed from the mainland, sterilisation and water purifying
capabilities, and an emergency stockpile of food, although Andrew certainly
hoped that this would never be needed.
Putting his best foot forward, when he had managed to extricate it from the
damp peat swamp he seemed to be standing in, he walked over to unlock the
gate and the house's front door that would give him access to the bunker.
To his surprise, the key turned easily in the lock and he was soon inside
and heading for the basement door where he was told a passageway existed,
leading to the bunkers.
He found the passageway entrance and unlocked a heavy steel security door
that swung open smoothly as a series of overhead fluorescent lights
flickered on automatically.
He walked along the lit corridors until he finally found what he was
looking for. He smiled to himself as he entered the bunkers main reception
area and looked around the room.
"Oh yes - this will be just perfect".
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Part 5 - Resurrection
Work started on the Oban improvements immediately, and they were now in a
position to start treatment on the first of the patients within three days.
Mrs McDonald asked for her son to be treated first which was as the doctors
would have recommended anyway - the injuries, whilst still severe, were
more immediately treatable than her daughter's, a women's plumbing being
far more complex.
The girl, Andrew didn't want to start using her name - it made it too
personal, was taken to the private room set aside for her long-term
sedation. It was expected to take three months before the Luing facility
was available and she would be on life support until they were ready to
treat her.
Tissue samples were taken from the twins, individually tagged, and then
sent to the laboratory, where they would extract the base material needed
to start cloning the new organs. Dr. Frobisher was confident that he would
be able to grow all of their missing organs and then transplant them into
the host bodies. This would include kidneys, lungs, urethra, womb and
anything else needed to make the victims whole again.
While Dr. Frobisher was overseeing the fitting out of the Luing facility
his colleagues had started on repairing some of the superficial injuries on
the male victim. He had been to inspect the new organ growth programme and
stared at the glass tubes containing the first few cells, of what would
turn out to be their new organs.
It was one week later when the first tests were made on the replacement
parts, and progress had been satisfactory. Dr. Frobisher's assistants had
handled all of the laborious testing and presented the findings to him the
next day.
"Well, according to these reports everything seems to be progressing well -
have you anything else to add to this" Andrew Frobisher quizzed Mary
Colglan.
She fidgeted slightly as her colleague, Clive Mason, kept silent.
"No Sir", she said, "everything seems to be coming along fine. We've
started on producing the duplicate copies of the cell growth in case
they're needed, and we anticipate the less complex samples to be ready
within three weeks".
"Ah yes" he said consulting the report again. "So that means that we can
begin work on the damaged upper and lower lip before the month's out".
"Yes Sir" she answered, "His mother has provided us with enough detailed
photographs so that we will able to restore them to their former state".
"Good, good" he said without looking up from his notes. "That will be all
for now. Give me an update in, oh, five days time please - I want to keep
on top of this".
Dr. Frobisher's assistants left his room and closed the door behind them.
"Are you sure we've done the right thing" Mary said to Clive anxiously
under her breath.
"Yes Mary, it was only a small mistake and it won't make any difference
whatsoever so why say anything about it! If it had slipped out that we'd
got the labels muddled when we were processing the samples, then we would
lose our jobs. It is not a good time to be without work right now - jobs
are so hard to find!".
Mary thought back to when the test tubes containing the samples had fallen
in the sink full of water as Clive had laid them down for a moment. The
labels were only attached by a thin layer of gum and had peeled off leaving
a soggy mess in the sink. Mary suggested performing a chromosome test
before beginning the processing and they could then separate, and re-label
them accordingly.
Once they had finished testing they re-labelled the test tubes with the
confirmed gender and separated them so that the male samples could be
treated now. The samples labelled 'Tamara' were put into storage for later
treatment.
Both Mary and Clive were unaware that this would have been the last
opportunity to spot that the samples originally labelled Tamara were really
male, and the samples labelled Matthew were female as would have come out
in the first stage of processing.
"I suppose you're right. Nobody's going to suffer because of it, so what
difference would it make?" Mary replied and walked to the canteen for some
coffee consigning Matthew and Tamara to their fates.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Wednesday 12th April, 2006 - 3:08pm
Luing Advanced Laboratories, Scotland
"Clamps .. come on, come ON - pass me those clamps damn it! I need to
finish this now!" the surgeon said irritably while he waiting for the nurse
to get the necessary instruments.
It had been a long, and hard day, and he just wanted to get this final
insert finished and then he could rest. He had just started work on
replacing the girls damaged liver and was anxious to see how it worked out.
When the clamping and stitching had been finished he walked out of the
operating theatre and removed his outer garments and started to wash his
face and hands. Mary came in behind him and took away her mask.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you Mary" he said as he knew his treatment to her
had been unfair. "It is so frustrating, I just cannot understand why she
rejected that first liver. It had, after all, been grown from cells taken
from her own body so there should have been no problems!" he said with
exasperation and slumped in the chair.
"It was a good job we grew two of everything needed" Mary said, "it would
have set us back four months otherwise".
"I know, and that's why I'm so tense. If this fails like the last one then
we have to start again. We will just have to wait and see how Clive's
suggestion pans out. I only hope the local hormone treatment we applied
will help the body to accept the liver - it was quite inspirational the way
he predicted the abnormal hormonal activity within the abdominal area
following his earlier experience with the male patient. He suspects it's
due to the loss of the ovaries. That estrogen and progesterone solution
seemed to bring the abdominal hormonal level to that of the liver we
transplanted, and Clive said he will set up a drip to stabilise the rest of
the body so it's the same. We cannot afford to have these problems with the
rest of her transplants".
Mary relaxed for a moment and sighed.
"I hear that the male patient, back in Oban, is making good progress after
the initial setback".
Andrew sighed with her, it seemed it was contagious, as he thought back to
the Oban centre - it had been some weeks since he had been there,
preferring to devote his attentions to the female patient who was far more
seriously damaged.
"Yes, all is going well now. It was strange that he had a similar rejection
problem until they managed to graft on the new penis and testicles. As soon
as they started filling the body with testosterone the earlier transplant
problems seemed to cease. That is why I am so keen to replace the females
ovaries and womb again - it should speed along her recovery significantly
if the males experience is anything to go by".
"Everything we are doing is new and a challenge but, by God!, it's good to
be on the leading edge isn't it" he said more to himself more than anyone
else, and didn't really expect an answer.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Friday 27th October, 2006 - 6:43am
Oban Research Facility, Scotland
The first thing that she became aware was the throbbing, and heavy feeling
she had about her head. She squinted as she tried to shield her eyes from
the bright light that seemed to be burning into her.
Everything seemed to blur as she gradually grew accustomed to the light but
she wasn't able to identify the bobbing and moving images she could see in
front of her.
She let out more of a whimper than a groan but it seemed, to her , to
becoming from somebody else and she lapsed back into the long sleep from
which she had just awoken from for the first time in over a year.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sunday 29th October, 2006 - 8:14am
Oban Research Facility, Scotland
She first became aware of a sound, then a light and then a series of moving
shapes. Her experience still had a surreal quality about it but this time,
she was determined to hang onto it and not let it go. She vaguely
remembered a similar occurrence but lost the thought as she recognised
someone talking.
"Matthew .. Matthew, can you hear me" it said.
That thought alone seemed to take hours to filter into her consciousness
and when it did she was still confused!
"Matthew, why are they talking to Matthew - what's happened to him" she
thought and tried to say something but her throat only gave a slight dry
heave.
"Here have this" a voice said and she felt her head lifting slightly, and a
gloriously cool liquid making it's way down her throat.
This time, when she tried to speak, a recognisable noise came out.
"Wh .. what, what has happened to me" she croaked as the memories of
thirteen months ago started to make their presence felt. She remembered the
aircraft spiralling and the awful metallic tang of burning wiring that, she
knew, would remain with her for the rest of her days.
Amongst these thoughts came the realisation that there was an undefinable
difference about her voice that went beyond the dryness she was
experiencing. She also felt something different about her whole being but
couldn't place it.
Her efforts exhausted her and she, again, fell into a welcome sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Thursday 24th January, 2008 - 2:24pm
Luing Advanced Laboratories, Scotland
Matthew's awakening was far steadier than his sister's had been. He had
been lying, as if in a trance, for an hour now as he started to adjust to
the outside world again. All he could remember was a long succession of
dreams, which took him through his childhood until the present day.
He was a little confused by this because Tamara seemed to feature in all of
them and there had been more than a fourteen year gap in their real lives.
He almost felt like he was outside his body as he could start to make out
things around him. About ten minutes later he managed to turn his head
slightly and could make out a white shaped figure and a noise.
A little more concentration and he heard "Tamara, take it easy - can you
make out what I'm saying". He was puzzled - what was Tamara doing here and
why are they asking her questions?
The next thing he saw was a bright light moving from side to side in front
of his eyes. As it moved sideways he could make out the face of a man
staring directly into his eyes. The face gradually pulled back which made
it easier for him to focus, and he saw a dark-haired man who looked to be
in his late twenties.
He had started to have flashbacks, back to an aircraft taking off and then
banking, followed by darkness. There was something buried deep within his
mind and he got a little panicky as he tried to grasp it. He started to
moan a little and called out for Tamara and it was then that he knew that
something strange had happened to him. His voice seemed soft and
high-pitched, almost like a girl's, and, for a brief moment, his mind went
back to his impersonation and he had a vivid memory of the throat spray he
had used.
This seemed to snap him out of his panic attack a he became more aware of
what was around him.
The doctor returned and spoke to someone who must have been at his side,
that Matthew couldn't quite see yet.
"This is looking good, she is starting to come around now, completely. She
has recognised her name and telling us who she is" Dr. Frobisher said as he
indicated for his companion to come into view.
"Come over here, I think she could do with seeing a friendly face" he said
as Tamara walked over. She had been dreading this moment - how would he
take this?
"Hello Tamara" she said nervously, "how are you feeling - you've been
through quite an ordeal".
He had reasoned, by now, that he had been in an accident and, his ever
clearing eyes could see what looked to be a hospital room complete with
doctor and, what clearly was, to his astonishment, himself! He could now
remember the bet, and also Tamara's impersonation of him, but surely - he
was in a hospital now - she couldn't still be pretending to be him could
she! How long had he been here?
These thoughts spun around and around inside his muddled brain until he
could take no more and finally 'blacked out'.
"That was good progress, she even managed to say a few words though it was
strange the way she looked at you - it was almost like she was shocked!"
Dr. Frobisher said to Tamara slightly puzzled.
Tamara turned to walk out of the room, saying only "Maybe it would be
better if I saw her on her own next time" before she left.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Part 6 - Revelation
Thursday 24th January, 2008 - 7:38pm
Luing Advanced Laboratories, Scotland
The next time Matthew woke, he was on his own. The nurse monitoring him was
talking to a friend and had turned down the constant bleeping signals that
she found so irritating. This was a really boring duty and she hated it!
Nothing ever seemed to happen and she made sure that she kept glancing in
the patients direction from time to time, just in case she moved.
He was lying still and trying to compose himself, remembering what he
thought had been a bad dream which ended with him looking up at himself. He
had been like this for twenty minutes now, and his mind had been probing
his body, trying to make some sense of what he was feeling. He couldn't
feel anything at first and had feared he was paralysed but, as he gradually
willed his extremities into responding to his thoughts, began to wonder why
the feelings that were being returned were so alien!
At first, he had put this down to the fact that he had obviously been here
for a long period of time which was, as yet, undefined, and he reasoned
that everything would feel strange at first. As the feeling persisted,
however, his concern became more prolonged and he wanted to explore
further. The straps that held him secure to the bed prevented this and he
began to feel a little claustrophobic.
His concentration was focused around his abdominal area. He couldn't quite
put his finger on it, literally as it happened, but he experienced feelings
like an aching gap, yet of also being filled. It felt most uncomfortable!
Maybe the feelings of cramp were just hunger pains - he certainly hoped so!
The other area, that he was acutely aware of, was around his chest. He
reasoned that he must have something resting on it as there seemed to be an
unaccustomed weight there. He hoped that they would remove it soon, it was
making his chest sore and he felt hypersensitive all around that area,
especially where his nipples were.
It was when he tried to speak, he had hoped that the strange voice he had
heard the last time he spoke was just a part of his dream, that the nurse
became aware of him and summoned the doctor.
Ten minutes later the doctor and Tamara were outside the private room where
Matthew was being kept.
"Are you sure you want to talk to her on her own - she may be nervous, or
even become hysterical!" Dr. Frobisher questioned.
Tamara appraised him, for a moment, as a woman might have done - although
to the outside world she was anything but a woman. It had been a while
since she had lapsed into this thought pattern, having finally coming to
terms with her new male existence, and she was a little disappointed that
she sometimes still thought this way.
He was quite handsome, with his sandy coloured hair and his penetrating
blue eyes and maybe, three years or so ago, she might have fallen for him
but she shook these thoughts away.
"No, I think she", how strange it still seemed to think of Matthew as a
she, "will find it easier to accept her situation if it comes from me" she
said, a little ambiguously.
"All right then. We will turn of the acoustic monitoring as per your
wishes, and wish you luck - this won't be easy" he said as he led Tamara to
the door.
"And, by the way, she started menstruating again this afternoon. That's her
third full cycle and she seems to be settling into a rhythm now. That's
good news - her own body is now filling her with her natural hormones again
- we can stop the artificial supplements now".
This caused Tamara to pause and swallow for a moment as she thought about
how Matthew would take to having periods. She knew that she had suffered
dreadfully with hers, there was no reason to think that he wouldn't also,
and that this was one aspect that she didn't miss about no longer being
female. Well, he would now know - first hand - why women can become such
martyrs at times and also why, for a few days a month, they all seemed to
men!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Matthew heard the click of a handle turning and moved his eyes to see the
door open. He was a little more prepared this time when he saw himself walk
in the room. It must be Tamara, he reasoned, but this time on her own. He
wondered why she looked like him - surely the joke must now be long over!
"Hello Matthew, how are you feeling" Tamara said to him in voice that bore
a strong resemblance to his own but was yet, not quite the same.
"I'm feeling bloody awful actually" he said a little irritably and then
stopped as he heard the sound of his voice again. There was no doubt about
it this time, although he sounded a bit husky he definitely had a girl's
voice.
The blood pounded around his body and he felt a throbbing in his head as
he tried to take this all in - the sight of Tamara looking like him, the
sound of his voice - it was getting too much again. A few deep breaths
calmed him down a little, he was damned if was going to keep swooning like
some hysterical girl, and he looked at the very male Tamara again.
He started noticing the little things now - a few strands of hair peeking
over her open necked collar, her face which had obviously been receiving
the attentions of a razor - it just didn't make any sense!
Tamara helped Matthew take a sip of liquid and this time, when he spoke, he
did so in a slightly more melodious tone.
"Tell me Tamara, just how long have I been here and what's been happening?
You're not still in disguise after all this time are you, there's something
different about you?"
"Take it steady Matthew, you've been out for a long time and this will come
as a bit of a shock to you" she said trying to avoid building any
unnecessary anticipation - better to get this part over with!
"You've been unconscious for over two years now Matthew. We were in a plane
crash on our way to Scotland and were just two out of a handful of
survivors. We are both badly injured with you coming off the worse, and
we're now in a research facility on a remote Scottish Island".
"Two years, TWO YEARS!!! Jesus! What has happened to me, to US, in that
time - I'm beginning to get scared now - can't you untie me?" he said as he
struggled with the straps around him, acutely aware of his soprano voice.
"I can undo them in a minute if you'll just calm down a little - I don't
want you hurting yourself" she said as she leant over to check the straps
that held him. Satisfied that they were still holding firm, she freed his
right arm and loosened the straps around his body a little.
The relief was welcome but this was only a brief respite, as soon as the
pressure had been eased from his body, he started to feel other changes.
Tamara could see the apprehension in his face and determined to tell him
the rest quickly.
"Look Matthew, as far as the world is concerned you are now Tamara McDonald
and I am Matthew. We have both been through the most extensive changes that
have ever been made on two individuals but only from the best of
intentions".
Tamara rubbed her jaw and felt the hint of stubble that was starting to
appear as she considered how this had affected her, now him. Matthew said
nothing as he started to move his hand to his chest and, could now, feel
that the padding, or what he thought was padding, moving as if it were a
part of him. Tamara decided to keep quiet for a moment and let him make his
own discoveries.
He raised his right hand and he could see that they were now a little more
refined than they had been - nothing drastic, they had never been that big
to start with! This impression was gained, mainly, from the longer nails he
now possessed that added just that vital inch to make his hands appear both
longer and slender.
He managed to pull himself into a sitting position and raised the bed
covers to examine his lower body. He knew what he would find, even before
his touch confirmed it, but his horror was not lessened at the smooth mound
that greeted his probing fingers. He had felt that smoothness before when
he was impersonating Tamara, and his sex had been pulled back and hidden to
present the same effect. This was totally different however, there was none
of the uncomfortable feeling he had previously experienced and his hand
just glided, unopposed, into the void between his legs.
Tamara coughed.
"Uh, Matthew - I know this must be interesting for you but we still need to
talk".
He looked up at her as soft tears gently rolled down his smooth cheeks. He
had never doubted her confirmation of his changed condition for a moment.
"Oh Tamara, why - what's happened to us. I can't live like this - I can't
be you - I don't want to be a girl. They've got to change us back" Matthew
sobbed as Tamara put a brotherly arm around the girl's shoulder.
"That's not possible Matthew. Now just try and pull yourself together for a
while, there some other things you need to know about but however you feel,
you are now Tamara. There is no way back and if you don't want them to
think your mind has snapped then you've go to play the part like I've
learned to".
How could she be so calm and so rational about this! She couldn't just
expect him to assume her life while she took over his, surely! A thousand
thoughts raced through his mind as he desperately tried to cling to his
identity.
"This is ridiculous, nobody is going to believe that you're really me -
mother will surely know - just how long do you think you can hope to keep
this up" he said in an increasingly shrill and panicky tone.
"Look Tamara, yes - that is how I'm going to refer to you from now on -
just calm down again, this will get us nowhere! You need to know a few more
things - I said we need to talk".
He was taken aback by her authoritative tone but this seemed to calm him a
little and he slumped back against the pillow as looked at her like a
frightened, and vulnerable, child.
The original Tamara continued.
"I told you that you had been unconscious for over two years. That doesn't
mean that I was. I came back over fourteen months ago, and yes" she paused
as she saw his incredulous face, "I awoke to the same scenario as you have
only, in my case, in reverse!".
Tamara was obviously very wound up and intense as she, now he, paced around
the room. He was finding this hard and felt very tense as his soothing tone
disappeared.
"How do you think I felt when I woke up to feel hair on my face. How do you
think I felt when I found my tits had gone. How do you think I felt when I
found I had a extra piece of awkward flesh hanging down between my legs".
Matthew almost felt ashamed as he saw his former sister, now his - no her -
brother, so upset.
"I'll tell you TAMARA, I'll tell you. I felt damn awful! It took me a long
time until I could hold a conversation with them. I had been telling them
my name Goddamnit - that was the only thing I could utter for three months
- and all they thought , all they thought was that I was worried about was
YOU. Isn't that the ultimate joke! They thought they you were ME!!".
Matthew sat there just listening. He could tell that her suffering was
finally being let out and he let her continue.
"By the time I could finally communicate, they kept me under sedation
during all this time, it was too late. They had already re-built me as a
man and you know what, I accepted it. I had a long time to come to terms
with what they were doing and, to this day, I don't know how I kept myself
sane. How do you think I felt when I woke up to find I was now a man - I
was happy being a girl!".
"I . . I'm sorry, I hadn't thought about you. It must have been awful but
it still doesn't help me any - what have I got left to live for now"
Matthew said .
"You are going to have to stop this self-pity, a lot of people have given a
lot of things so that we can be here, even if it's not how we wanted. I was
going to break things to you gently but there's not much point now - we've
got this far so you might as well hear the rest" Tamara said as she stopped
pacing and pulled up a chair next to him.
Her calmed demeanour should have re-assured him. It didn't! She was
obviously, going to unleash further shocking revelations and he braced
himself - he was sure, at this point, the anticipation must be ten times
worse than anything else that was coming.
He was wrong.
"Please Tamara, can you get these straps off of me - I won't do anything
stupid and I think I'm getting pins and needles now!".
She gave this some consideration but, finally, leant over and undid the
straps. Matthew stretched his limbs slowly, looking almost feline as he did
so. As he spread his legs he could feel the new sensations from his newly
implanted sex, as the skin seemed to separate from itself and emphasise the
void that now existed there.
Tamara continued.
"I don't think you're going to like me very much after this but I want it
all out now. I told you how I woke fourteen months ago - well my first
visitor was our mother. I don't know if I was more shocked by my own
circumstances or by how she looked when they wheeled her in".
Matthew went pale for a second.
"Wheeled her in! Wh .. what happened, how is she now" he spluttered.
"She had taken the accident very badly, after first appearing to hold up
well. She had a stroke about four months before I came around".
Tamara quelled Matthew's questions and continued.
"She's Okay now but you will still get a shock when you see here. I don't
think she take any further emotional trauma's - it might finish her off".
"But does she know who you really are - I mean, surely, she must have
noticed by now!" Matthew said incredulously.
"She knows who I am Matthew - I am who you used to be. She doesn't know who
I was though. As far as she is aware her errant daughter is recovering in
this bed right now" she said as she rested her hand on the bedcovers where
he was sitting.
"That's not all, please listen" she said as he motioned to talk again. He
could see she was nervous about this part.
"My second visitor was Katrina"
Katrina, Katrina. Why hadn't he thought about her up until now - they were
going to get engaged!
"I don't know if you were aware of just how much she loved you Matthew. As
soon as she knew that I had regained consciousness she flew down here to be
with, what she thought, was you. You know, our likeness is amazing! She
didn't even realise that I was anything other than what I appeared to be.
By this time the first wave of surgery had finished for me - your re-grown
cock and balls had taken nicely and were pumping testosterone all around my
body. I had, what looked like, two days light growth on my face and a few
strays hairs were even appearing on my flat chest"
Tamara took a sip from a glass of water and continued, obviously finding
this hard.
"Anyway" another sip, "I couldn't tell her who I really was at the time,
and when I could I didn't want to. She put her modelling on hold and stayed
here with me for six months until I was released. I was so glad to have her
company and found myself very grateful, for the waves of love she gave me
that were almost tangible! She became such a support for me that I found,
by the time I had recovered enough to leave, that I was really in love with
her as well".
Matthew started to feel very uncomfortable with the way this was going and
felt a pang of jealousy as he realised that the girl he loved, had fallen
in love with another woman. She wasn't really another woman by now though,
was she! She had simply continued her love with what she thought was me -
how could that be considered unfaithful?
He felt so confused, not knowing how to cope with any of this!
"Katrina and I got married last month Matthew.
"Bu .. but how could you! How could you take over my life like this - why
couldn't you wait for me to recover" Matthew sobbed at the realisation that
his whole world, everything he had known up until now, had fallen apart.
All he had left was this female body that he didn't know how to control or
whether he could ever again shed it.
"She was pregnant - the miracles of modern science eh!" Tamara said with an
ironic smile on her face.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Thursday 25th January, 2008 - 9:12am
Luing Advanced Laboratories, Scotland
Matthew woke next morning with a terrible headache, which he presumed was a
result of the sedatives that he had been given after Tamara had walked out.
They were given as a result of the hysterical state he was in following
Tamara's news about Katrina.
He hadn't been able to understand why she said it was impossible for them
to be changed again - it may have taken a long time but there was no way he
wanted to take over her life. She soon dispelled his entreaties to change
themselves back by pointing out there were a number of good and logical
reasons why this was they couldn't do so.
1) There was no way that they could afford to spend the small fortune it
would take to get this cutting edge treatment repeated. Matthew had been
shocked to find his mother had to sell her mansion to fund this treatment
and was now living in substantially reduced circumstances.
2) The shock, for their mother, in finding out the truth would most likely
kill her.
3) The research facility would soon run out of money and, when Matthew had
fully recovered, would be wound down. The recession was really biting now
and the management had finally ceded to Government pressure.
Apart from these irrefutable reasons Tamara had told Matthew that she now
had no desire, whatsoever, to have her old life back. She had envied
Matthew's relationship with his mother - one that she had now enjoyed for
herself for over a year.
She was also in love with Katrina, and looking forward to becoming a
father. It was Katrina who pulled her through and, besides, she really
enjoyed the instant gratification she got from sex as a man now. It had
taken her seven months to come to terms with it, but her former life now
seemed like just a dream and she would never go back to it.
She had actually unzipped her trousers, and lowered them to show Matthew
the reality of her newly grown penis and this left him speechless. It was
so strange seeing something so intimate and so familiar on another persons
body - the problem was, this was not some other persons body but his own -
he just wasn't in it any more.
The sight of Tamara sporting his penis sent his thoughts racing back to his
own newly grown parts and he felt quite nauseous as he thought about the
periods, the internal examinations, and all the other unpleasant things
that went with being a woman. It was far to soon for him to consider some
of the more pleasurable aspects and he sank into a well of depression!
As Tamara left he wept inconsolably - she had taken over his life and he
was left with nothing but a new set of complicated equipment that he had no
idea how to treat or control.
All that he had left now was just the fact that he now seemed to be a girl,
a girl whether he liked it or not, and all the indications were that this
was going to be a permanent state of affairs with Tamara assuming his
identity so successfully.
Never had he thought, not in his wildest dreams, that he would have spent
the rest of his life as a female as a result of taking that stupid bet!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Although he had been devastated by his ex-sisters visit, his biggest
heartbreak was still to come.
His mother had been brought to see him that afternoon. His first sight of
her had been a shock - she had looked so much older and more fragile now.
The thing that he found the most hurtful, and also the hardest for him to
bear, was her aloof and distant regard for him. She hadn't forgotten her
failed attempts at a reconciliation, and Tamara's off-hand reaction to
them, and as she now assumed that Matthew was Tamara he bore the brunt of
her pain. It was also obvious that to a large degree, she blamed, what she
now considered to be Tamara, for Matthew even being on that fateful
aircraft on the afternoon of the crash.
She told Matthew that she felt she had done everything she could for her
'daughter' and that Tamara must now make her own path in life from now on.
The door would always be open for her if she wanted to try again but she
couldn't at this stage think how she could forget what had happened.
Matthew could not bring himself to tell his mother the truth. He showed how
much he loved her by sparing her any further anguish, anguish that could
have been fatal to her, and kept his own counsel as she left him to his
despair.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Part 7 - The Road Back
Monday 29th January, 2008 - 13:15pm
Luing Advanced Laboratories, Scotland
Dr. Frobisher sat in his underground office, tapping a pencil on the side
of his desk. He had called a meeting of his key support staff to discuss
the concern they had about the patient.
As Mary and Clive walked in he got straight to the point.
"Okay, I wanted a review of our patient as I'm a little concerned at her
progress since she regained consciousness. Let's recap. She woke five days
ago and all her bodily functions seem to be working okay but she seems to
be sinking. Any thoughts?" he said as he leaned backwards and pushed his
dampened hair back away from his forehead. He hated the stuffiness within
this complex and his heightened tension was making him increasingly
agitated.
Clive ran through his medical report. He confirmed that, physically, she
was in good health. The scarring from the cosmetic surgery had healed; all
the new organs had adapted well and were operating normally and she had
just completed her third menstrual cycle and appeared to be fertile. All in
all the ground breaking techniques they had employed had seemed to be a
100% success. He couldn't understand it!
The main thing that had puzzled him had been her lack of knowledge about
how to cope with her period. He exclaimed that it had almost seemed like
she had never experienced one before.
The men looked across to Mary who seemed to shuffle a little awkwardly in
her seat.
"Well" she said almost inaudibly, "I don't think that the physical side of
her condition is the problem. I've been trying to talk to her, you know - a
little girl talk to try and make her feel normal - and I've been getting no
reaction. She seems to have sunk into a deep hole since her brother left
and she is just not reacting like a typical woman would. I can't quite put
my finger on it but she seems so withdrawn and unfeminine, almost like a
man" she said unable to resist a small jibe at her colleagues.
"Maybe what she's been through has left her in deep shock - maybe she just
needs to try and have a little normality back in her life, you know, make
her feel like a woman again!"
Alan Frobisher looked at Mary speculatively, this would never have occurred
to him and maybe she was onto something!
Mary was quite surprised when he didn't immediately treat her comments with
derision. Maybe his 'professional' indifference of the patient was
beginning to show a few cracks!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Now that she was off the 'critical' list they felt more comfortable about
treating her like a human being again, and decided to make a conscious
effort to always call her by her name. They had decided that they would
also give Tamara a goal, something to aim for. She needed something to else
to think about other than what she had been through!
It hadn't gone too well at first. Mary had tried to engage her in
conversation about the latest fashions and what interested her but she drew
a complete blank. Tamara had no interest whatsoever in anything remotely
feminine!
Tamara was walking now, and coping better following the physiotherapy and
massage treatment she had been having but Mary had noticed how she avoided
looking in mirrors and asking to dress in anything other than the hospital
gowns that were provided. Mary was puzzled - she was a beautiful girl and
looked completely normal now - surely she couldn't be as frightened as she
appeared to be at what she might see!
It was when Mary finally lost her cool that this cycle was finally broken.
Dr. Frobisher had suggested to Tamara, in the subtlest possible way, that
she might well benefit from some counselling and therapy to help her with
her apparent identity crisis, because that was what she was appearing to
suffer from. She seemed to have no empathy with anything to do with being
female or her former life. She hadn't exactly refused to go with this
suggestion but merely shrugged - he had decided to interpret this as
consent and made the necessary arrangements.
Mary had offered to go to the mainland, back to Oban, and to purchase a
brand new set of clothes for her. She, of all people, should not have any
trouble getting the right size - she knew every inch and pound of Tamara's
measurement.
It was when she returned that her patience finally snapped.
"Oh this is ridiculous," she shouted as she threw the new clothes on the
floor in Tamara's room. She had brought back a small selection of dresses,
skirts and blouses, and a pair of slacks that were both practical but
feminine. Oban is hardly the centre of the fashion universe but still held
a modest selection of modern fashions for young women.
Tamara had, again, shown no interest and merely snorted when Mary had shown
her a short cobalt blue dress that would have complemented her natural
colouring perfectly. Mary had been hurt by her attitude and would be glad
when the therapist arrived tomorrow - she had given everything she had but
had been rebuffed and now decided to give Tamara a piece of her mind.
"Right, I've had enough of you - you're acting like some selfish little
girl. Do you know how much has been given by people to give you this chance
of a normal life?" she ranted as Matthew looked up at her. She made real
eye contact with Mary for the first time in days, shocked into
acknowledgement.
Mary failed to notice this and continued her lecture sounding, like a
mother berating a teenage girl. This analogy was fairly accurate in
reality. Matthew was experiencing a flood of female hormones - something he
had never before experienced and was completely disorientated by this. He
was now, in effect, entering his second spell of puberty but this time,
however, he was experiencing it from a new and unsettling perspective.
He was dangerously close to a total breakdown and another two or three
minutes of listening to Mary finally elicited a reaction from him.
"Don't you dare talk to me like that" Matthew cried back at her, tears
flowing down his cheeks.
"I didn't ask for you to do this, I didn't ask for you to put me through
this. Why didn't you just let me die?".
Mary stopped dead in her tracks. Finally, she had got a response from her -
she had broken though! Now was not the time to hold back.
"God, you are so selfish girl - you are just so selfish. I was not talking
about us; I wasn't talking about those who worked here. It was our job to
get you to this stage and, quite frankly, I will be pleased when somebody
else picks up the pieces and try's to deal with you.
No, I was talking about your mother. She has given up everything to do this
for you and your brother. Everything - even to the point of losing her home
and her health. If you're going to let that sacrifice be wasted then,
whether you're beautiful, suffering, in shock or what - I am not interested
- you are one selfish bitch" she almost spat at her, finishing her verbal
assault.
Matthew looked up at her through his feminine tear-ridden eyes. He was calm
again, just for a moment.
"You don't understand - I can't live like this. I wasn't Tamara I was
Matthew. You've made me this freak I am today. I am Matthew McDonald who is
now trapped in my sister's body but it's not really my sister's body is it!
It's my own body. How would you feel if you found your own body was
betraying you every time you looked in the mirror!".
With that shocking revelation Matthew broke down and cried hysterically
leaving the shell-shocked, and guilty feeling medical assistant, who was
now seeing the series of mistakes they had made as if they were standing
starkly in front of her. From the time when the samples had been mixed to
the initial rejections of the organs, only successfully completed by the
massive hormone wash.
She clasped one hand to her bosom while the other rose to her mouth as she
gasped;
"Oh my God, you poor, poor girl. What have we done to you!" as she went
across to hold what she could only think of as Tamara.
Intuitively, she knew that this girl was originally Matthew, and that he
had just told her the truth!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Friday 2nd February, 2008 - 10:24am
Luing Advanced Laboratories, Scotland
It was hard to tell who had been the most shocked that day. This girl who
everyone knew as Tamara for telling the fact that she was really her
brother Matthew, or Mary, who had listened to the whole story now from the
start to where they had boarded the flight from Gatwick.
She had implored Mary not to reveal this to anyone else, she couldn't have
borne the humiliation, humiliation from her own perspective anyway, of how
Matthew had been tricked in the first place all the way through to his
current situation. This gave Mary a lever that she could use to help him
adjust to how he now found himself - she knew Matthew had been correct in
his reasoning for why things couldn't be corrected. She also wasn't sure
that a body could have the kind of treatment that he had received twice in
such a short space of time, even if the funding and availability of this
centre was possible.
She would have to help him become this girl that he now appeared to be.
Mary had already set this train of events in motion by getting Matthew to
open up. Even now, despite knowing his story, there was no real way that
she could really imagine this lovely girl as the man she had once been.
Mary could see that by unburdening himself to her, Matthew had taken the
first tentative steps to retaining his sanity and to facing up to his
future. The first step would be in recognising that he would have to spend
the rest of the foreseeable future with the body that he now possessed.
Having done this, he would have to accept, and to start developing his own
self image, so that he would regard himself as the girl who he now appeared
to be. He had to start thinking of himself as Tamara in every way.
After letting go of him, Mary walked over to the bathroom and started
running a hot and steamy bath. She threw in a pearl of rose scented bath
oil and removed Matthew's hospital gown, and helped him settle into the
fragrant water.
"Come on now Tamara, just lose yourself - forget everything except the
warmth and what you can smell" she said as she stroked the girl's head.
"Tama .. Tamara, you called me Tamara despite what you know!" he said as he
slid deeper into the water, his breasts peeking over the water's surface.
"Because my dear, that's who you are and who you have to be from now on -
I'll never call you Matthew and you've got to stop thinking that way. Can
you cope with that, you really have no choice you know!".
Tamara just lay there; Mary could still see the inner turmoil.
"Come on Tamara, you don't have to be tough any more - not physically
anyway. If you let yourself go you might even find that just this alone can
be a release" Mary continued.
"I can understand how this might sound ridiculous now, but it can be quite
fun being a girl at times - you might even get to enjoy it. Can't you feel
how smooth the oil makes you skin feel - can't you feel how deliciously
tender the warm water makes your nipples! Come on Tamara, surrender
yourself to your feelings" she said, noticing how Tamara was finally
starting to relax.
Tamara's fingers were unconsciously playing with her breasts, making small
circles around her aureole, seeming to take comfort from it Mary noticed
gratefully.
Then another idea hit her. It would be a bit of a gamble but she had to say
it anyway, she had to try.
"Go on Tamara - I dare you, I dare you to be strong enough to be the girl
you are".
The naked girl, flushed deep pink from the steam, looked up at Mary with
her large and attractive eyes and started to cry as she remembered the last
dare that she took as Matthew, and where it had got her. To Mary's relief
the crying turned to laughter until the two women were sitting holding each
other, both alternatively laughing and crying.
Mary knew she was winning.
Part 8 - New Beginnings
The next day Tamara woke in the morning and, for the first time since the
accident, she didn't felt uncomfortable with what she found. She didn't
feel comfortable yet but it was a start.
Ironically it was Matthew's main strengths that helped him to accept
becoming Tamara. His stubbornness, and never knowing when to quit, made him
plunge headlong into his new goal - he was determined to become Tamara -
mind and body, if not quite soul.
She lifted herself out of her bed and looked down at herself critically.
She acknowledged the two lumps on her chest and removed the medical
nightgown she had worn to get a better look at them. A bra had been too
much for her to accept at first but, cupping her hands beneath them, she
lifted them, feeling their weight. She looked around the room for the
clothes that Mary had said she'd leave and saw and saw the underwear that
Mary had purchased for her.
Before doing anything though, she walked into the adjoining bathroom and
relieved herself, wiping afterwards as she had been told to. She stood and,
for the first time, examined her naked body in the full-length mirror on
the back of the door.
It was certainly strange, as she could see her own sister standing there,
looking herself up and down as this body responded to the movements she was
making.
She watched the reflection of the hands wander down to her side and felt
the soft skin as it curved along to her hips. She watched the hand wander
to her groin to play with the dark triangle of soft, pubic hair that framed
the essence of her femaleness, So much softer than the course hair Matthew
had possessed.
She watched the reflections legs part slightly to allow this body's fingers
to stroke the outer lips of what, was now, an aching void where her manhood
had once nestled. She watched this reflection lift a finger to its nose and
smelt the muskiness she was so familiar with, albeit from a different
perspective.
She turned out of the bathroom and picked up the clothes next to her bed.
She picked up the satin feeling panties and pulled them up tightly, feeling
them grip her rounded bottom with a firm snugness she had never
experienced. She ran one hand around her backside, admiring the sleek
feeling.
She picked up the matching bra and, after a couple of minutes, had it
easing the weight from her bosom. As she ran a hand across her breasts she
felt her nipples harden in response, making little tents in the fabric.
Tamara opened a packet of tan pantie-hose and gently rolled them up each of
her smooth legs in the way that her sister had shown her. This was followed
by a short, but comfortable, dress. She had chosen the dress to prove a
point to herself; choosing the slacks would have been a cop-out.
After pulling a brush through her hair she walked into the bathroom again,
she wanted to see how she looked now.
It was true that she had worn women's clothing before, but this time it
felt totally different. As she walked to the bathroom she thought back to
when she was impersonating the real Tamara. The feeling of the pantie-hose
on her thighs had been the same. The feeling of her legs moving
unencumbered felt the same. The most notable difference now though, was the
absence of anything between her legs; it felt so different from when
Matthew's penis had been taped back between his legs and she was constantly
aware of what was now missing and wondered if she would ever get used to
this feeling.
Looking at herself in the mirror wasn't so hard this time. She thought she
looked a little pale but, then again, she hadn't been outside for a long,
long time now. She thought about trying some make-up, Mary had left a
vanity bag for her - just in case - but this was going a little too far for
now. Again, she had tried it before but this time it was different, this
was not pretending!
Satisfied with what she saw, Tamara walked out of her room to join the
others for breakfast - another first.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Over the next few weeks Tamara slowly started to adapt. The arrival of the
therapist heralded the turning point. She had arrived, expecting a
difficult patient who was resisting help. What she found was a nervous, and
shy, young woman, who had to be led back along the path to womanhood. It
was as if she had forgotten everything about being female but she soon
proved herself to be a star pupil, eagerly seeking out each new experience
with an almost adolescent sense of discovery.
She had spent her first trip to the outside world shopping on the mainland.
She had gone with Mary and, although nervous, she managed to cope okay
which gave her confidence.
When Tamara, or 'Matthew' now as she had conditioned herself to think about
her ex-sister, had arrived he had been relieved and surprised to find such
a change of attitude from his 'sister'. The visit didn't last too long
though, as 'Tamara' found it too upsetting to be confronted with the
reality of her former state.
There was one breakthrough, however, during that visit.
"Look Tamara, I've got something to tell you. I've been holding back from
saying this because I know it'll upset you" Matthew said to her as she
looked at him seated on the end of her bed.
She remembered the last time he had spoken like this and the ensuing
breakdown she had. She was a different person now and only felt a little
irritated by the patronising way he was holding his cards close to his
chest.
"Matthew, stop playing games. If you've got something to say then say it,
how bad can whatever you tell me be when I've already lost my gender, my
job, my fiancee and even my life and identity. The thing is, I don't care
anymore - I'll be building back all those things again but this time as
Tamara.
Just tell me and spare the drama".
Matthew prickled a little. He hadn't been spoken to in such a direct way
for a long time, certainly since he had assumed his brother's identity. His
pride made him more direct than he had intended to be.
"I've told Katrina," he said looking at her intensely, waiting to see her
reaction.
"You've done what!" she shrieked, amazing him at how she looked so much he
had used to - even sounded like her!
"I had to, I couldn't carry on pretending and deceiving her. I love her
Tammy - she had a right to know" he said looking at his sister, not knowing
how she'd react.
If he expected hysterics or crying and wailing then he would be
disappointed. Tamara just took a deep breath and then spoke calmly.
"An .. and how did she take this little bit of news".
"Surprisingly well. You know Tam, she certainly is something special - I
really do love her".
"Yeah tell me about it" she responded, a little bitter.
"I'm sorry Tammy, I never planned for this to happen you know" he said
taking hold of her slim hand. He continued.
"Sh .. she said it didn't make any difference to her, she said she was in
love with me whatever I was and whatever happens - she just wants to have
my baby. She did say she really, really wants to meet you and worried about
you. She told me to tell you that she is dying to meet her new
sister-in-law. She's sure you'll have a lot in common" he said, not
realising the irony of his statement.
"More than I would have ever believed possible" Tamara replied softly,
tears starting to well in her eyes again.
"Look, I think you'd better leave Matt. I .. I need some time to get used
to this" she said as she took both his hands and leaned across to kiss him
on the cheeks.
They both parted with tears in their eyes.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Wednesday 30th April, 2008 - 10:05am
Luing Advanced Laboratories, Scotland
The three months since her awakening had flown by. The new Tamara was
evolving as a new person entirely. She exhibited all of the tenacity and
stubbornness of Matthew McDonald but the female hormones now pumping around
her body had tempered her original personality a little! She was now a
little less inclined to jump in with both feet and was more inclined to
consider the effect of what she was either doing or saying, and the impact
it may have on others.
The Doctors, and Mary in particular, were delighted with the progress she
was making.
She had approached the task of not only passing as a female, but also
becoming the female she appeared to be, with a passion. She almost gave
herself a breakdown, such was the intensity that she put into her
'training' until she eased off a little, as the counsellors and therapists
probed the reason why.
Oh, she had not yet mastered the genuine feminine reactions she now
desired. She would have to experience life as a female in the 'real' world
before that could happen, but she no longer viewed this prospect with
dread.
After his last visit she had come to terms with her relationship with
'Matthew', and would now talk to him on the phone on a regular basis. She
had been cautious at first, still hurt at what had happened but was now
looking forward to seeing him again - Katrina was still a problem for her
though.
She decided she would give herself some space to build a new life before
she could face them all again, that way she would be complete and better
able to cope. She was also anticipating meeting up with her mother again,
she missed her dreadfully. Matthew had promised not to tell her what had
happened, she wanted to do that herself when she felt able to.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tamara stepped out of the complex for the last time and thought back to how
she had arrived here in her shattered male body. She would never have
imagined that she would have ever been grateful to face the world again,
after the revelations of that January night.
She had felt she had lost everything. Well she had, but now she had
everything to gain again and was looking forward to discovering herself and
life again, this time as a woman. She knew she would cope!
She, and it WAS she now, felt comfortable about regarding herself this way.
With the help of the Dr. Frobisher, she had managed to find a flat and a
job in Edinburgh and it was there that she was heading now as the
four-wheeled drive car waited for her to take her back to the mainland.
The job was nothing special, she would be working as a receptionist in a
travel agency. All SHE was qualified for now was menial clerical,
waitressing, or shop work, but this didn't bother her! She was just pleased
at being alive and at having a new start in life. She was also very excited
at the challenge she would have in achieving it! This time she could prove
that she could make it, even without her mother's money.
Matthew had offered to find her something down south, possibly even working
for him, but Tamara turned it down. She wanted to make it as Tamara on her
own - she had still retained Matthew's stubbornness all right!.
The three and a half years she had spent since the accident, had provided
her with all the physical necessities she needed to live in the outside
world as a woman. Even including the possibility of becoming pregnant if
that was her desire.
The last three months had helped her to mentally accept the enforced
changes inflicted upon her, and she now regarded herself as female. She now
needed to LIVE as a female to finally become what she now wanted to be, no
schooling or counselling could ever provide that. Even the thoughts of a
relationship with a man were no longer abhorrent!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Dr. Frobisher held the door open for the beautiful young woman as she eased
herself into the car seat.
She looked gorgeous, he thought, in her short charcoal grey dress. She
definitely showed a penchant for wearing dresses as opposed to anything
else. He watched her well shaped legs swing into the seat and felt a
stirring of arousal which surprised him a little for he had known about her
past. Mary had told him everything, she had to on a professional basis - it
might have affected her long-term treatment - but had sworn him to secrecy
for the sake of Tamara's recovery.
"Thank you Doctor, thank you for saving my life" she said as she took his
hand in a typically feminine gesture.
"Well, you've exceeded all our expectations - I just hope that, one day,
we can continue this work to help others" he said sadly as he contemplated
the imminent shutdown of this facility.
The electric window started to close and the car reversed to give itself
room to turn. Something snapped in his mind as Dr. Frobisher ran to the car
and banged on the passenger window. It slid open again as Tamara gave him a
quizzical look.
"Look, I know it's most probably unethical but" he paused a little
awkwardly, "I would like to see you again" he said wondering if he had gone
too far. He felt a little shocked at how, despite her history, he really
wanted to see her again, he really wanted her!
The young woman looked up at him, through her thick lashes, and a
mischievous smile crossed her face as she replied.
"I think I would like that Doctor - or should I call you Andrew - I think I
would like that a lot" she said as she used an eye pencil to scribble down
a telephone number on a piece of paper that she handed to him.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Epilogue
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tuesday 15th October, 2009
Edinburgh, Scotland
Tamara was busy in the kitchen cooking a meal and reflecting on the last
eighteen months, as she was want to do at moments like this.
She had found it much harder than she had anticipated to start her new
life. She had settled into her nice little flat and started the job as a
receptionist, which just about enabled her to pay her own way.
She smiled wryly, as she thought about the little details that she had
never even considered in her quest to climb the ladder again, the ladder to
both a successful life and career. She had never thought about how much
money it would take to maintain her life as a woman. She was spending much
more that she had planned to on clothes, make-up and all the little
'necessities' she now needed if she wanted to fit in.
The peer pressure from other women had unsettled her at first. She had made
some girlfriends and now spent her time with them, as any woman would. She
gossiped, went shopping, took lunch, moaned about her periods and even
double dated.
Andrew Frobisher had called her and had taken her out a couple of times,
about a month after she had settled in. This had been another milestone in
her new life but not for the reasons she might have expected.
He had been awkward with her, almost as if he was struggling with himself.
She had put it down to his feeling compromised by his professional
relationship with her, not suspecting anything else could be amiss. The
most surprising thing was the feelings she felt when he hadn't tried to
take it any further. She had been nervous about what would happen if he
tried to seduce her but when he didn't try she had felt hurt and rejected,
wondering if he just didn't find her attractive enough.
After he had left that last night she realised, in a moment of self
revelation, that she had viewed this whole incident from the perspective of
a woman, not the as a man she had been! She knew, from her former
standpoint, that any man would not have been that choosy if offered the
chance of sex with even a half way attractive female and, without being
arrogant, she knew she was much better than half way!
No, she knew that she had wanted him. She had desired him, sexually. More
to the point she knew that even now, in the cold light of day, she stilled
wanted him and felt sad that she hadn't had the opportunity to consummate
this feeling but ecstatic that she now felt fully female, female through
and through.
She knew that she WAS now a woman and she knew that she wanted a man in her
life.
She finally lost her newly created virginity to, what was now her boyfriend
Colin, and was now cooking this meal for him, anticipating another night of
passion. She felt a warmth spread through her groin as she thought about
this and how much more she enjoyed sex as a girl. It was so much more all
encompassing than it she had been used to, and she really loved the feeling
of total surrender as her man claimed her each time.
She had come a long way.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
She had visited her family about eight months after her release from Luing
and, after the awkward first few moments, had held her former girlfriend
Katrina, as they shared tears of joy, sympathy and love. Matthew even
became a little jealous of the new bond that was forming between his wife
and his sister!
Tamara had found a new joy in sharing time with Katrina and had spent happy
days taking shopping trips and playing with her nephew, now her Godson.
Her mother had surprised her at how easily she had accepted the children's
story, from the original impersonation to this final moment of confession.
She had slowly recovered from her own illness and was just grateful to have
her family back together, in any form or configuration.
Her family was complete again even if her son was now her daughter and her
daughter her son - she loved them both.
This time the only tears they shed, were tears of joy as Tamara waved
goodbye to her family as she went through the departure gate for her trip
back to Edinburgh. Despite their entreaties she did not want to return down
south again, at least not yet, anyway. She had a life and friends now and,
beside, she was looking forward to seeing Colin again.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Her climb back up the ladder hadn't happened in every way though. She had
climbed a number of rungs in regaining her personal life but her climb back
up the career ladder had eluded her.
She had intended to study and regain the qualifications she had originally
had the autumn after her move to Edinburgh but, with her burgeoning social
life it hadn't quite happened. She was having too much fun just being one
of the girls and she found that she didn't seem to have the time to do both
and decided to put it off for another year.
Well that year had passed now and she still hadn't enrolled for this year's
curriculum. Somehow it didn't seem so important now. Her job wasn't the
best paid but she had no real pressure and she found her colleagues, and
the friends she had made there, were more important to her right now.
"Besides", she thought to herself with a delicious nervous anticipation as
she walked into Bruce, carrying the coq au vin she had slaved over, "I've
got a feeling he's going to propose to me tonight!".
As she sat down, and saw Colin's smile, she knew that she loved the life
she now had - she couldn't have been forced to return to her former life by
anybody now.
She WAS Tamara and loved being so.
The End