Date: Sun, 6 Mar 2005 21:21:22 -0800 (PST)
From: Phyllis Wood
Subject: Ephraims Chalice   TG magic

Ephraim's Chalice
Copyright 2002,2005
Phyllis Wood
(TG - Magic)

This is a work of fiction.  This's my story and I'm sticking to it! Anyone
reading this younger than eighteen years old, please remove your eyes at
your earliest inconvenience.  Anyone wishing to repost this to any FREE
story archive is encouraged to do so on the condition of this header
remaining its integral part.

May 15 2002

It started so innocently.  My Grandmother died peacefully.  The funeral was
a simple affair, just her five children, ten grandchildren, a few great
grandchildren and a few friends of the family.  She was the matriarch of
the family and was 103 when she died.  She was of medium height and beauty
but had a dominating personality.  She didn't take any BS from anybody.
I'm 28, wife 26 & two kids 6 and 1.  After the funeral, the will was read.
The money was divided equally between four of the siblings.  The fifth
share went to my dad in lieu of the money and included the house, all the
furniture and objects therein and $50,000 to cover expenses.  It came to
around $500,000 for each child.  There was some grumbling about this as
various relatives wanted this or that, but the lawyer was adamant about the
issue.  If anyone disputed the issue, the money would go to women's
charities such as Planned Parenthood and Breast Cancer Fund to name a
couple.  Besides, in today's market the house probably wasn't worth
$500,000.  When everyone agreed not to dispute the issue, the lawyer handed
Dad the keys to the house.  Everyone went back to the house to talk of old
times before going back home tomorrow.

   The house is a huge old yellow brick house in Eastern CT from the 1820's
with adjoining carriage house and a large garden that looked out over the
sea.  When we got back to the house, my dad gave a whistle.  "Wow! Look at
all the junk Mom collected.  We'll have to get a dumpster.  In the meantime
we'll put the stuff to throw out in the carriage shed.  Let's go through
the stuff.  Make sure you check with me before you throw anything away or
keep for yourself."  There were magazines, plastic bags, broken furniture,
etc., etc.  When we got to the attic it was just as full.  There were
Christmas ornaments, china, pictures, and lots of toys.  Dad said to keep
all of those things.  In a corner, near the chimney, was a sea trunk with
the initials EF engraved on the top.  It was locked but a few minutes
search turned up a key in a hidden compartment on the side.  We opened the
box and found all sorts of really old men's clothes.  As I was pulling them
out I found a goblet.  At that point someone called dinner time.  We put
the clothes back in the trunk and headed down to the dining room.  I
brought the goblet with me and washed it as well as my hands.  The base was
of stoneware with images of a man on one side, of a woman on the other side
and a combination image on each side.  Also some writing I didn't
understand on the bottom.  The bowl of the goblet appeared to be silver and
gold with a Yin/Yang symbol as viewed from the top.  Very strange and
rather beautiful.  Dinner was good as usual but not as good as Grandma's.
After the kids were put to bed, we sat around the table telling stories.
Someone pulled out a bottle of wine and proposed a toast.  I held out the
goblet.

   "Pretty goblet, is that the one from the chest?"

   "Yup, cleaned it on the way down."

   "A toast to Grandma Catherine Fairchild and all her descendants."

   We clicked the glasses together and I drank the wine to the bottom.  A
moment later the feeling of fire began from my stomach and spread
throughout my body.  I screamed!  The fire continued in intensity for a
couple of minutes (seemed like forever!) finally subsiding to a dull throb
that finally went away leaving me shaken and sweaty.  I remembered hearing
the rest of the family screaming and shouting and a great commotion but
couldn't pay much attention as I writhed on the floor.

   I tried to sit up.  The whole family was looking at me as if I had some
strange disease.  Can't say as I blame them.  I felt different.  I noticed
my shirt had popped the buttons and my pants were split on the side.  I
looked down and noticed I had breasts that were spilling out of my shirt in
view of everyone.  I tried to cover myself and felt tears coming to my
eyes.

  I vaguely heard my cousin Jessie reach for my hand and said "Come with
me."

   I held up my pants and covered my breasts as best I could and went up
stairs with her to her room.  She sat me on her bed and proceeded to
undress me slowly as I sat there in shock.  When I was naked, she brought
over a floor length mirror and helped me stand in front of it.  Not only
did I have breasts I also didn't have a cock or balls any more.  I gingerly
felt my body's new form: no beard or body hair and much longer head of hair
falling to the middle of my back.  I seem to have shrunk from my old 5' 10"
to 5'6".  Average for both men and women I suppose.  Jessie took my body
measurements: 38-26-36C.  Not bad considering.  She made a comment that
while I wasn't stunning, I was certainly very pretty. (prettier than my
wife)

   I remembered our conversations in the past.  I have always wanted to be
a woman since age four when I found out there was a difference.  I often
dressed in woman's clothes in private but rarely after our marriage.  My
wife wanted a man to share her life not a woman.  Some clothes I gave to
her. She was about my size.  Others I stashed in a rarely used drawer.
"She'll have a fit about this I'm sure."

   I felt a hand on my breast.  I looked down.  Jessie was caressing my
nipple.  I could feel it harden under her touch, she caressed my skin down
to my pubic hair.  I practically jumped when her finger went between my
legs.  I guessed she found my clit.  Then she licked her finger and
returned it to my slit and slid it into me.  It felt so nice.

   There was a knock at the door. "How's he doing?"

   "She's doing as well as can be expected.  We'll be out when we're
ready."

   Yeah, Right, OK."

   Jessie giggled, "I guess we'll have to save this for later."

   "I guess so."

   "What to wear.  You're about my size, let's see what fits."  My
underwear was replaced with black panties, I put on Jessie's bra, and a
very nice white ankle length dress that had lots of extra fabric on the
bottom but showed my cleavage a little.  A pair of her sandals replaced my
old sneakers.

   "You need some makeup."

   "What do you recommend?"

   Jessie got out her purse.  "Our color schemes are similar enough that
this should work.  A little blush on your cheeks, some eye liner, some lip
stick - nothing too flashy.  OK you ready to go down stairs?"

   "I need to pee."

   "Oh, OK, remember girls need to sit."

   I pulled down my panties and the dress up around my waist.  This felt
weird.  My pee just gushed out.  There wasn't any feeling of it coming out
a hose of course, took less time and left drops of pee on my pubic hair.  I
dried, pulled up my panties and let my dress fall.  I saw myself in the
mirror.  I really did look pretty.

   Walking felt funny though, felt different some how.  I guess wider hips
and my breasts jiggled as I walked even though I was wearing a bra.  My
hair felt wonderful on my back.

   "OK lets go.  Here we come!"

   All eyes were on me as I came down the stairs.  I heard gasps and
whistles and an "Oh No!" from my wife.

   "Yes folks she's all woman.  I checked."

   Everyone asked how I felt.

   "OK I guess, just a bit weird.  Does anyone know what happened?"

   I noticed the goblet and the chest on the dining room table.  The
clothes were all to one side and there were what looked like a couple
diaries next to it.

   "We took the liberty of trying to figure this thing out.  I'm afraid you
won't like the answers."

   "What are you talking about."

   "The goblet - do you know what it does?"

   "I can guess." I looked down.

   "It changes your sex."

   "Can I change back?"

   "Not according to these." pointing to the diaries.

   "How do you know all this?"

   Well. look at the goblet.  Did you notice the symbols?"

   "Yes, didn't think much about them."

   "Did you read the writing?"

   "Don't even know what language its in."

   "In this vessel - Happiness.  Its Latin."

   "Oh wonderful."

   "I told you Latin would come in useful but you wanted Art Appreciation."

   "Thanks Dad."

   "Apparently these journals are from our ancestors.  This is from Ephram
Fairchild - Grandma's Great Great Grandfather.  Apparently he was a sea
captain who acquired this goblet in Constantinople in 1820.  He drank from
it, turned into a woman and had to return as a passenger on his own ship.
According to this, he tried the goblet on sheep and pigs on board ship to
find out how it works.  And according to his, ah her notes, you can go from
male to female or female to male but not both.  If you try, you become
sexless; no genitals or nipples even.  I don't suggest you drink from this
again."

   "Can I have the goblet and the diaries?"

   "Apparently you don't have any choice.  The goblet is yours until you
die."

   "OH"

   I noticed all the rest had gone to bed by this time leaving only Jessie
and Dad. I tried going up to my bedroom to sleep with my wife.

   "Get out! I refuse to sleep with a woman."

   "What am I supposed to do.  I didn't know this was going to happen."

   "If you'd checked things out you would have."

   "Where am I supposed to sleep?"

   "Try on the couch.  Or maybe your cousin Jessie, we all know she's a
lezzie."

   This was indeed true.

   I walked down the hall and knocked on Jessie's door.

   "Can I sleep here? My wife kicked me out."  As I said this, I realized
how much my voice had changed.

   "I hoped you'd come."  She pulled me into the room.  She was nude and
very pretty.  I could see her nipples swell as she looked at me.  "Brush
your teeth and come to bed."

   So I did.  I turned out the lights and crawled into bed next to Jessie.

   "Here take this," as she put a pill to my lips.

   I took it away with my fingers. "What is it?"

   "A birth control pill, one of mine from next month.  I suspect you'll
need it soon.  Can't be too careful."

   I popped it into my mouth, swallowed and kissed her.  Just looking at
myself in the mirror had made me aroused.  I felt her finger slide between
my legs.

   "mmm, You're wet."

   She put her finger to my lips.  "Taste yourself.  You're one hot woman,
Hot for me? Probably hot for yourself."

   I kissed her and she sucked my tongue into her mouth.  I ran my tongue
across her teeth. Mmm.  She caressed my breast and pinched my nipple.  I
felt her thigh slide between my legs.  I wrapped my legs around her.  It
all felt so wonderful as her thigh rubbed my cunt.  I could feel myself
getting closer to orgasm.  So like a man's but so different.  The intensity
deep inside my womb and then, there it was, I shook and felt my womb
contract over and over again.  My whole body jerked again and again as I
came.  When it was over, she looked down at me and smiled.

   "So, which is better, a man's or a woman's?"

   "They're so different and so the same its hard to tell.  Right now I'm
too tired to decide."  I rolled over on my side and fell asleep as she
continued to gently stroke my hair and back.



May 16, 2002

   When I woke, Jessie was still asleep.  I got out of bed and walked to
the bathroom.  The sea breeze wafted by my body.  I felt my nipples perk
up.  I was about to pee standing up and remembered to sit and that I didn't
need to push my cock down between my legs.  I felt my pee flow out of me
and tinkle into the bowl.  I wiped and started back to the bed when I saw
the diaries.  I picked up the older of the two.

   Log of Ephram Fairchild and Susan Tucker.

I opened it.  The first entry was dated May 16 1820.  Wow, that's what? 181
years ago.  The first entry began in fine flowing script.

   "How this happened, I don't know but I shall relate the events as they
occurred in the hopes that they may be of some use to someone."

May 16 1820

   I began this voyage as Ephram Fairchild 25 years of age and captain of
the Mary Jane, three mast barque out of Stonington Connecticut sent to
Istanbul to find art treasures and sculpture for the rich in New York.  My
first mate was William Tucker, a competent and well mannered fellow.  Our
hold was full of treasures that would do well in the New York market so
William and I had a glass of wine at the local tavern.  A table nearby was
playing cards.  There was a commotion, a shot rang out and a man fell dead.
When he crashed to the floor a chalice slipped out of his robes and rolled
to my feet.  I picked it up and slipped it into my jacket.  We moved on to
another tavern to be safe.  We asked for a bottle of wine and I decided to
drink from the chalice.  When I took a drink of the wine I cannot describe
the agony that befell me.  I screamed at the intensity of it and the utter
despair as I wished I'd die to get it over with.  A minute or two later the
agony subsided.  I felt strange, my hair was much longer, almost waist
length, my chest jiggled and my beard was gone.

   "Are you all right? You gave me quite a shock!"

   Then his voice quavered and stopped as he looked at me.

   "Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph! What's happened to you - you look like a
woman!"

   I quickly stuck my hand in my pants to reassure myself but instead of my
cock and balls all I felt was a cunny that felt very womanly.  A shiver of
fear went down my spine.  I felt my chest and indeed I was now well endowed
with breasts.

   "We've got to get back to the ship."

   Fortunately I still had my uniform on even though it didn't fit anymore.
I hid in the cabin the next day while I sent Mr. Tucker out for some
clothes fit for a woman.  Travel clothes mind you, and none of the fancy
clothes that women wear these days.  I've got a sea voyage to make.

   When Mr. Tucker got back I tried the new clothes.  They fit well enough
but weren't nearly as sensible as a man's clothes.  Who designs them
anyway.

  When I came out of the cabin William let out a whistle.

  "You look fetching."

  "What are you looking at?"

  "A rather pretty woman."

  "This will never do, the men will never accept me as captain."

  At this point Mr. Tucker came up to me beside me and put his hand on my
breast and tried to kiss me.  I belted him as hard as I could with a left
uppercut and he fell backwards with a crumpled thump.  He got up and tried
to kiss me again.  I reached for my boot dagger - damn this dress!  As he
pulled me to him I put the dagger against his groin.

   "Try it again and you'll be a gelding."

   Mr. Tucker looked at me in surprise.

   "I may look like a woman but inside I'm still your captain.  I'm still
the man who can best you in any fight.  With some luck we'll get through
this but remember, you will treat me with the respect due an equal. You
will have to take over as captain of this ship.  We'll spread around the
story that Captain Fairchild was captured at a tavern last night and you
only got back by the skin of your teeth.  You went to get help but couldn't
find him.  You took on a passenger - me - as a service to a lady in need.
You stand to inherit this ship when we get back to Connecticut but remember
first, unless you treat me as an equal in this in every way, you are likely
to wake up with your throat slit. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!  Say 'I understand
you and will treat me as your equal."

  "I understand you and will treat you as my equal."

  "Do you have any problem with this?"

  "No sir - Ma'am."

  "Then off you go."

  I can't believe he tried that.  I thought I knew him better.  The thought
that he might have raped me angered me and at the same time scared me.
I'll have to keep an eye on him.  I went back to my bunk to rest and assess
the situation.  I could hear Mr. Tucker giving orders.  He seemed on top of
the situation.  I looked up and noticed the chalice on the desk.  How did
that get there.  Maybe I could figure out how to reverse my situation.  I
looked at it closely.  A strange symbol on top like a Chinese sigil I've
seen in China. A yin/yang looks like gold male and silver female.  The base
is salt glazed stoneware with bas relief of a man on the gold side and a
woman on the silver side and a mix on the sides where they meet.  They have
breasts but also cock and balls.  The writing on the bottom edge "IN HOC
ACETABULUM BEO" "In this cup happiness".  Looks like the bowl was made in
China but the stem was made locally.  Can't determine age but it seems old.
While the crew was off looking for the captain I took the opportunity to go
down to the stables and see what the chalice would do to the animals. After
ten minutes or so, I turned five goats from does to rams or rams to does as
the circumstances dictate.  In all cases however, the second drink turned
the poor creature to geldings with no evidence of sex at all, not even
teats were evident.  I left some of the does alone so we could have milk
for the voyage home.  The screams of the livestock were also setting my
nerves on edge, the poor creatures.  I felt so sorry for them I had to
stop.

   If I couldn't use the chalice to regain my male form, I decided to
destroy it.  I tried smashing it with a belaying pin, the black smith's
hammer, putting it in the forge, and throwing it overboard.  In all cases
it remained undamaged or returned to my hand moments later.  I resolved to
keep it in my sea chest with the captain's uniform and other male clothes I
had.  If I must wear woman's clothes They'll be kept separate.  I returned
to the captain's cabin to await the return of the crew.  I don't think I'll
ever get used to pissing sitting down.  So many clothes to get out of the
way.

May 17, 1820 clear, wind 5 S

   We set sail at sunset to take the tide.  I have been introduced to the
crew as Susan - Mrs. Susan Winter, a passenger who was stranded in Istanbul
when her husband became ill and died leaving her penniless and dependent on
charity for survival.  Mr. Tucker has been better behaved than formerly.
Lets hope this continues.

June 13, 1820

   My courses came on schedule.  Such a bother having to tie rags between
my legs.

June 21, 1820 clear, wing 20 E

   Mid Summer's Eve.  The voyage has gone smoothly.  We are currently half
way across the Atlantic.  The crew has been respectful as befits my station
and Mr. Tucker has asked my advice in many things but takes his own council
as the captain should.  I find I've grown fond of him in a way quite
different from before.  This eve at sunset he put his arm around my waist.
I found I rather enjoyed it and laid my head against his shoulder.  I knew
the men would see.  What of it, Mr. Tucker and I are both unmarried and
according to our story I'm not a virgin although in truth as a woman I am.
As Captain Fairchild, I had affairs with several women and enjoyed
intercourse with them.  I've even envied them and their ability to bear
children.  I've wondered what it was like and secretly wanted to be a woman
despite the disadvantages of their circumstance.  I wonder if that's why
the chalice rolled to me. But, one makes due with what God gives you.

June 22, 1820 clear wind 20 E

   I let Mr. Tucker kiss me this morn, not just a peck either but a deep
passionate kiss that made my toes itch.  I found myself growing wet between
my legs.  I think I've fallen in love.  Lord help me.  Just looking at him
makes me smile.  He's kept his promise to treat me with respect as his
equal.

June 23, 1820 cloudy, wind 35 N

   Last night I let him make love to me.  An hour so after sunset we were
looking at the moon rise through the stern lights and drinking sherry by
the moon light.  Mr. Tucker (Bill - I asked him to call me Sue) kissed me
again.  We held each other close, I'm sure he felt my breasts against his
chest as I felt his hard cock against my belly.  His hands kneaded and
stroked my rear making me positively wet.

   "May I make love to you tonight, I've grown exceedingly fond of you."

  "As I you.  This is still strange to me.  I find I love you yet you're a
man."

  "As it should be for a woman to love a man."

  "Yes but in many ways I still feel like Captain Fairchild."

  "You were once, now you're a fetching woman in love with a man who loves
you in return."

  "Mm, I do love you so."

   He pulled me to him, his cock felt harder than ever against my belly.  I
unbuttoned his pants.  His cock burst out in its firm majesty.  My lust for
him grew as it pulsed in my hand.  I knelt down and licked it.  A bit salty
and slippery.  I remembered the familiar taste when I used to jack off.  My
cunny has such a different taste I'd almost forgotten what a man tastes
like.  I sucked his manhood into my mouth.  He groaned and began fucking my
mouth.  A few seconds later he flooded my mouth with his seed.  I swallowed
what I could and licked the rest with my fingers.

   Bill unbuttoned my dress and kneaded and suckled my nipples.  I pulled
my clothes off until I was naked in the moonlight.  I felt his manhood
become hard once again.

   "Fuck me, oh fuck me!"

   He leaned me over the table and thrust into me from behind.  Oh, oh, oh,
his cock filled me so wonderfully.  I groaned in pleasure.  "Oh, yes, fuck
me!"  He thrust into me faster and faster.  For the first time I felt what
it was like to be a woman.  My climax came from all over my body.  I
pinched my nipple almost to the point of pain and felt my climax rise again
and yet again.  Finally I felt Bill spurt into me.  I squeezed my cunny
muscles as hard as I could to get all his seed.  I was hot and sweaty by
this time, I sat back in the chair and swigged some wine.

  "Mm, that was fun!  I'm so glad I'm a woman, you can fuck me anytime you
want."

  "If we're going to do this on a regular basis we should be affianced.
Susan Winter, will you marry me?"

  I thought for a minute or so and the possibilities went through my mind.
If we keep this up before long I'll be with child.  He is a sea captain who
will be gone for long periods of time but should be wealthy soon.  Legally
I will have no rights or property but if I don't my situation could rapidly
become much worse.  He's a good man even if he will be an absent father.
Its a dangerous job, most of all I love him and he loves me.

  "Yes, I will gladly be your wife."  Now lay on the floor, I want to be on
top this time."

   Bill lay on a blanket.  I straddled his chest and let him play with my
breasts.  I moved back a bit and felt his cock between my arse.  I kissed
him passionately, lifted myself up reached between my legs to position him
and slid down on his cock until my nubbin was rubbing him.  He felt so deep
inside me.  Mmm, I rode him slowly and clenched my cunny muscles on him
each time I pulled up and relaxed on the way down.  Within minutes I was
climaxing again and again.  I wanted to keep going for as long as he was
hard and inside me.  I don't know how many times I climaxed but it was his
third.  I finally felt him spend inside me.  My sweat was dripping from my
nipples.  I collapsed on him and moaned in happiness.  As I cooled, I
pulled the other blanket over us as we slept on the floor.  I guess the
chalice was right.

5/16/2002 continued.

 I put the diary down.  I was still sitting in the chair nude, the spring
air wafting into the room.  The entry had left me very aroused and very
wet.  I had already been toying with my breasts as I read.  I lay back and
caressed my body, examining every inch.  I even used Jessie's hand mirror
to get a view of my cunt.  The lips were all puffy and slippery.  Just the
view of my breasts and pubic hair was arousing to me.  I'd always wanted to
be a woman but never wanted to admit it to most people.  I imagined the
feeling of a cock entering me - my fingers provided reality.  I finally
found myself pounding my cunt until I came, rather loudly it seems.

   "That was impressive." from Jessie still in bed.

  "Sorry to wake you, I was reading Captain Ephram's diary and it made me
very horny."

  "I guess I'll have to read it.  You look marvelous!  You almost make me
jealous.  Come here I want you."

  "Sounds tempting."

  I've made love to women many times before as a man, most frequently to my
wife but this was so different.  Everything she did to me I did to her.  It
finally clicked how to make love to a woman.  We ended up in a 69 position
with me on top.  I can't tell you the pleasure that went through me as I
smelled her musk and tasted her juice.  I can't count the number of times
we both came.  Finally, too tired to continue, we curled up in each other's
arms and took a short nap.

   BAM, BAM, BAM

   Huh? What? Who's banging on our door?

   "Time for you two love birds to get up and face the day" My father's
voice.

   "Oh, shit!"

   "Phil, is that you?"

   "Of course its me!"

  "You sound so different."

  "Well Duh!"

   Jessie interrupted the beginning argument "We'll be out in a few
minutes."

   "Thanks"

   "Lets take a shower together."

  Although it was a quick one, it still felt good to run soap over my body
and feel her hands across my slit - sent shivers through me.  Washing my
hair took a while but its a beautiful brown.  I knew my hair would be nice
if only I'd let it grow.  We dried off quickly.

   What to wear, what to wear.

   I put on a clean pair of panties, and Jessie lent me a yellow sun dress
light and airy, no bra.  She didn't have an extra one and I wanted to see
what it was like without one.  Some blush and lipstick.

   We came bouncing down the stairs.  I found the jiggle of my breasts
distracting.  My uncle and cousins openly stared at me until I spoke.

  "What are you all staring at.  I'm beginning to think you've never seen a
woman before."

  Dad sputtered "Its just that you're so different."

  Cousin James added "I knew as a man you were handsome, now you're
beautiful."

  I curtsied "Thank you."

  "What's it like?" cousin John asked.

  "What's what like?"

  "Being a woman?"

  "Why ask me, I'm new at this, ask them." pointing to all my female
cousins.

  "I'm starved, whets to eat?" changing the subject.

  Mom chimed in " The others have already eaten.  You can have pancakes and
sausage and here's your OJ.

   "Have to watch your weight - wouldn't want to spoil your figure with too
much food."

  "Thanks James, I'll remember that.  Where's my wife and kids?"

  Dad responded "They left early this morning.  She said it was unnatural
and she wouldn't stand for it.  I suspect she'll want a divorce and try to
keep the kids."

  "Oh wonderful! fighting this could be difficult to explain to a judge."

  You're going to have to get your gender changed on your driver's license
and passport.  Looks like lots of paperwork to me."

  "I'm sure you're right Uncle Bob."

  "If my wife is leaving me, I'll need a place to stay.  I'll have to take
some time off from work.  I wonder if they'll still let me teach.  Probably
not, but worth finding out."

   "What are you going to call yourself?  Phil doesn't seem adequate as a
name.  Seemed OK when we named you though didn't it June."

  "Yes it did Bill."

   Mom came over to me and burst into tears and gave me a big hug.  She
seemed taller than she used to be or was I just that much shorter.  Dad
seemed taller for that matter.

  "Oh, honey, I suppose I'll get used to it but I never had a daughter
before."

  Dad turned to my brother Steve, "You stay away from that chalice.  We
don't want any more daughters in the family."

  "Don't worry Dad, won't even touch it."

  "Good!"

  "Probably should destroy it." said Uncle Jeremiah.

  "I don't think you can.  Ephram Fairchild tried every way he knew, even
throwing it overboard.  He couldn't hurt it and it kept coming back."

  "Just like the cat in the song."

  "Yeah, I suppose so."

  "You didn't answer my question about your name."

  "I've been debating between Phyllis and Susan.  I kind of like Susan
because its the name Ephram Fairchild took when he became a woman.  I kind
of like it."

  "So how did Grandma get it."

  "I just skimmed the beginning of her diary but it seems he found it in
his Great Great Grandmother's sea chest (Susan Tucker/Ephram Fairchild) and
drank from it becoming a woman in her early twenties."

  "What was his original name?"

  "Bill Tucker, he was named after his Great Great Grandfather."

  "Huh!, Doing genealogy in this house could be strange" said Dad.  "I
wonder if anyone else drank from the chalice."

  "I don't know but it would be fun to find out.  This diary is rather
thick.  I think I'd like to track it down.  Mom, as always you make a great
breakfast."

  "So, what's next?"

  "Well, I can't keep borrowing Jessie's clothes although she does have
good taste.  I think I'll do some shopping.  Anyone care to join me?"

  "Of course I will." spoke Jessie.

  "I'd love to." said Gail.

  "I think it will be four." added Jill.

  "Well lets start with the malls and see what we can find.  I'll drive -
you don't have a license."

  "OK"

   We got into Jessie's Toyota van.  As we drove off they had a lot of
questions that they weren't willing to ask in front of the others.

  "Well, how does it feel?"

  "Did you two make love last night?"

  "Does it feel different?"

  "Do you prefer being a man or woman?"

  "Hold it, give me a chance to answer.  It's sort of hard to describe.  In
most ways I feel the same.  A little shorter - gives the view a different
perspective.  I'm still getting used to a dress, makeup, sitting to pee, my
breasts jiggle when I move, thing like that."

  "Wait till you try heels."

  "and your period"

  "and cramps"

  "and childbirth Are you going to have any children of your own?"

  "Maybe if I can find the right man?  If Lynn divorces me, I wouldn't mind
marrying a man.  In answer to your other question, we didn't do much last
night but Jessie and I definitely made love this morning." and I held her
hand.

  "Oh God, look at her blush." said Gail.

  "You cad, taking advantage of a virgin like that." said Jill. "Was she
good?"

  "Don't let them fool you" replied Jessie.  We've all been lovers for a
while now.

  "No!" I responded "Since when?"

  "Since we were teenagers spending summers in the house." said Jessie.

   "I don't believe it, I never knew.  What about the rest?  Did you fuck
the guys?"

  "We thought about it but it would have been an orgy and we didn't want
our parents to find out."  said Gail.

  "But we fantasized about it" commented Jill.

  "That would be fun.  I'm dying to get laid by a man.  I want to find out
how it feels to be on the other side.  What will it feel like when a stiff
cock enters my cunt?"

   "You'll love it!"

  "I can't wait!  Yes I want to make love to men, no I don't know which
I'll prefer more but I can't do anything about it now.  This is permanent."

  "You'll need birth control if you don't want kids yet."

  "I already started her on my extra pack of pills"

  "Good thinking, Jess."

  "Well here we are.  Filene's first? or Nordstroms?"

  "I'll bet Grandma's money will help cover costs."

  "Probably will, but lets start at Filene's anyway and end at Nordstroms."

  "So, What department first, I've never shopped for women's clothes."

  "Let's start at the skin and work out."

  "I need some bras, half slip, panties.  As some of you know, I've wanted
to be a woman all my life.  I guess that's why the chalice came to me.  I
do have some woman's clothes at home.  Lynn's probably thrown them all out
by now.  Ah, here we are, Vassarette, lets see, 10 panties, matching bras
in assorted colors."

  "What size are you and what does assorted mean?"

  "She's a 36C and size 10."

  "I'm jealous!"

  "Sorry, this body was given to me.  I haven't had a chance to mess it up
yet."

  "Don't forget a couple of sports bras."

  "Colors - how about plum, several black, dark blue, pink, light blue, oh
I like these flowers.  What do you think?"

  "They look good on you."

  "Here are a couple slips size 10 and a couple half slips.  What about
stockings?"

  "Yeah, get a few pair.  I gather they run like crazy."

  "I'll have to give you some tips on how to stop the runs."

  "Don't you use clear nail polish?  What's next?"

  "I guess dresses and skirts."

  "I want a short sleeve ankle length denim dress and a long sleeve denim.
I love this sun dress Jessie, I'll have to get several like it.  Here we
go, white, light yellow, and one with blue corn flowers.  Are they size
10?"

  "What about a broom skirt from India?"

  "Oh I love this gold and maroon one with little bells in the hem.  I love
the smell when they're new. What next - some blouses - Do you think this
peach one goes with my hair or the khaki one?"

   We spent the morning picking out blouses, jeans, slacks, pantsuits, and
shoes and trying them on.  They insisted I get some spike heels in addition
to sneakers and pumps.  I'm not sure I can wear them They seem like stilts.
I also got some boots, my shoe size is 8.  Fitting took forever.  They only
let me take five things in at a time.  I ended up keeping almost all of it.
I put it all on plastic.  They assumed I was using my husband's credit
card.

  "Don't forget a bathing suit."

  I chose an electric blue one piece and a burgundy bikini.  I hope it
doesn't fall off when I use it.

  "While we're here you might as well get your ears pierced."

  "I've always wanted to do that.  No other parts though, I refuse to
pierce my tongue, belly button, lips or anything else."

  "Totally."

  "Didn't hurt as bad as I thought."

  "You should have some gold studs to wear while it heals."

  "OK, I love these lapis and silver tear drops.  I want to wear them now."

  "What about makeup?"

  "I know I need lipstick, blush and liner, what else do you recommend?"

  We decided on a dark red lipstick, a hint of blush and some liner that
complemented my face.

  "I'm hungry.  Lets take all this to the car and find something to eat."

  Gail said I still shopped like a guy.  I seemed to know what I wanted and
didn't look at all the other stuff and compare prices and fuss over fabric.
As we sat talking over lunch, the girls told me that I had what I needed,
now they were going to take me to Nordstroms to get me what I wanted but
didn't know it yet.

  "Everything you got was ankle length, Summer is here, you need to be
risque."

  "Are you sure?  Nordstroms is very expensive."

  "You done stuffing yourself yet?"

  "I find I'm not as hungry as I was this time yesterday.  Smaller
stomach?"

  Jill pulled my hand.  "OK, OK."

  They steered me to the leather section.  "This is what you need."

  A really low cut black leather dress that just barely covered my ass.

  "Wow, I can't wear that!  Everyone would see all of me."

  "That's the idea silly."

  "If you say so."

  "Try it on."

  So I did.  They helped me put it on.  Jill and Jessie each pinched my
nipples to make them stand up.  I have to admit I looked Hot!

  "How do I sit in it?"

  "Make sure you keep your legs tight together and what ever you do don't
bend over."

  "What if I do?"

  "Try it."

  So I did.  As I bent over my breasts spilled out the top and Jessie slid
a finger along my slit.

  "This dress is made to get laid isn't it."  I backed up onto her finger.
She slid it into me a couple of times and then took it out sniffed it, "I
can't wait." and licked it.

I stood up and changed into the sundress.

"OK, what next."

  "There are a couple of things we want to show you."

  They ended up getting me a suit, a couple of pant suits, a black lace
dress that was long but very see through and a short denim skirt.  Also a
couple silk blouses in dark red and black and a dark blue silk dress with
roses embroidered on the hem (felt wonderful against my bare nipples. They
also found a pair of black leather lace up boots that went to my thigh to
go with the black leather dress.

  "Is there anything else I need."

  "Of course.  We've only begun."

  I remembered I've always liked honeysuckle perfume, also tea rose and
myrrh.  I decided to save the name brands for later, my nose was starting
to itch.

  "Do you have a purse, belts, ear rings, necklaces, hats ACCESSORIES?  Get
into the spirit, try things out, experiment, you're a woman now with twenty
five years of catching up to do!  Shopping is fun because there's so much
beautiful stuff.  Men just buy utility clothes in blue black and grey.
Barf!  We get the whole range of colors and we've only scratched the
surface of this store."

  So they taught me the finer points of shopping.  We all tried things on.
I found a wonderful red velvet backless dress.  We wandered the mall and
found all sorts of jewelry.  I got a couple of purses, several pairs of
shoes to match the new outfits.  It all felt so wonderful, almost like
Christmas.

  On the way home we stopped at the DMV and tried to explain my new
identity.  They told me they'd need a doctor's release saying I was now
female and fingerprints proving I was the same person would help.  I told
them I'd have it all by tomorrow.  Such a hassle.  We'd left the house
around 10 and got home at 6.  Of course after dinner, I had to model my new
clothes, even the risque ones.  Dad hrumphed a couple of times but Mom said
to him "She's a grown woman now. She can get clothes for herself."

  "Yeah, but she's new to this and doesn't realize she's playing with
fire."

  "I think she has a better understanding of men than most women."

  "I guess she does at that."

  "Lets go dancing.  I want all my cousins and brother to be with me."

  "Woh, Why don't you Jill and Jessie go out together.  The rest of us will
be going home in the morning."

  "In that case, I'll give you all hugs now.  I don't know if I'll be awake
by the time you all leave.  You've no idea how wonderful it is to have a
supportive family."

  "Not a problem.  We stick together and apparently gender changing has
been a part of our family for almost 200 years."  said Daniel.

  "Hope you work things out with your wife." added Jeremy.

  "Thank you all.  Bye now."

  "Bye!"

  "Bye- oh wait, Phil - I mean Susan, your wife's on the phone."

Suffice it to say it was not a pleasant conversation.  She informed me she
wanted to get a divorce.  I told her I could understand, but that I wanted
my personal stuff, she could have the house and I wanted to share custody
of the kids.

  "We'll see." was her answer.

  I wanted to say good night to Denise but Lynn said she was already in
bed.

  As I hung up the phone I couldn't keep from crying.  I just sat on the
floor in the corner and cried.  Jill, Jessie and the others did their best
to comfort me.

  "Tomorrow I'll call my lawyer.  If you're going into a divorce, you'll
need a good one."

  "Thanks Dad."

  "No Problem."

  "Listen Sue, Jeez its going to take some getting used to you being a
girl."

  "Sorry."

  "No apologies necessary.  Listen, as I was going to say, if you don't
have a place to go home to why don't the three of you live here.  Jill and
Jessie both have short term rents and jobs in the area.  I'm sure your job
teaching will be chancy.  You need a place to stay while you get back on
your feet and family to stay with you.  You know your Mom and I are only a
phone call away."

  "Thanks Dad."

  "Now you three go off and have a good time.  Just don't get into any
trouble and one of you stay sober OK."

  "Count on it Dad."

  So we drove off to the clubs along the Rhode Island beaches.  It was
still a bit early in the season but I wanted to dance.  I looked hot in my
leather dress!  When we got there I couldn't believe it.  They carded all
of us and of course I didn't have ID.  They didn't believe I was the mother
of two daughters even though I had the pictures.  We tried a few more
places when they finally let us in.  I asked for a Bud and Jessie said it
was a man's drink.  Had I ever had a strawberry daiquiri?

  "No." So I tried hers - yuck!

  "How about a margarita?"

  "I can live with that."

  Spent most of the time dancing to 60's rock.  Felt so good.  Jessie and I
danced together a while.  A few men asked to dance with us.  We agreed
sometimes.  Most felt like slime balls.  Maybe I have some feminine
intuition, maybe I remember how men act, they just didn't feel right.
Toward the end of the evening I noticed the Ladd brothers sitting at a
table.  As far as I know they're not married.  We walked over and Jessie
said "Fancy meeting you here.  Care to dance?"

  "Hi Jessie, hi Jill, who's your friend?"

  "She's our cousin Susan.  Susan, meet Paul, Steve and Alan."  I actually
know them quite well.  Steve was in my class from grade 1-12.  Used to be
the best of friends.  I didn't let on who I was - this could be fun.  Paul
was a year older, and Alan a year younger.  I reached for Steve's hand and
helped him to his feet and to the dance floor.  We danced several fast
songs.  My preference is swing.  It was difficult at first.  I'm used to
taking the lead when I danced with Lynn and Steve had forgotten most of
what he learned when we had dance for gym in grade 11.  I explained the
moves as best I could and what he was supposed to do.  By the end of the
three songs he was doing OK and he was a very good sport about it.  The
next was a slow song.  He pulled me close.  I lay my head against his
shoulder.  As the dance progressed his hands went further down my back and
then my ass.  I didn't mind him caressing my ass but I wouldn't let him
pull up my dress.  It's short as it is.  Didn't want my naked ass in a club
like this.  By the time the dance was over, I could feel his cock up
against my belly.  I thought of Ephram Fairchild/Susan Tucker and the first
time she had sex with Bill.  I wondered how it would be if Steve fucked me
and would he still care for me in the morning.  When the song ended Jill
pulled me away and said come with us we're going to the ladies room.  When
we got there, as I expected there was a line.  I was a lot cleaner than the
men's room.  I didn't feel afraid to catch anything.

  Jill began "Do you believe this or what?  Alan and Paul want to take us
to their place.  I've had a crush on him since the seventh grade.  I want
to fuck him but I don't want to do this alone.  Jessie, what about you?  I
know you prefer women to men but you take the pill so I know you must do
men."

  "Paul's nice.  He and I were lovers in high school so this should be a
lot of fun."

  "This is so weird!  We were best friends in high school and even still we
visit and do things together every month or so.  I feel like I'm gay or
something."

  "Hey, there's nothing wrong with being gay!"

  "Sorry, it just feels weird."

  "Hey if you're his best friend then you should make great lovers.  Did
you ever talk about sex?"

  "Not details - just did we score or just get to first or second base."

  "Please Sue, give it a try."

  "If I'm going to have sex with a guy I'd like my first to be someone like
him."

  A couple of stalls opened up.  I listened and the other women were having
similar conversations.  I thought men's room conversations were raunchy but
these were just as bad.  The women behind me were discussing giving head in
the parking lot and the taste of cum on their lips.  My turn.  I'm so glad
the toilets were clean.  My dress is so short I hardly had to pull it up
and my panties only had to go down six inches to get past my slit.  Felt so
good to pee.  I was beginning to wonder if the line would ever end.  Wipe,
pulled my panties up, noticed my slit was wet as well.  I slipped a finger
inside, hot and slippery.  I tasted it - yumm.  This should be fun.

  When we got back to the table, Jill ran up to Alan and hugged him.  He
bent over to kiss her.  I felt like a voyeur watching how passionate they
were.  I sipped my margarita and felt Steve's hand move onto my thigh.  I
ignored him at first, then as his hand reached higher, I spread my legs a
little and sat back in the chair.  I reached over to feel his cock thorough
his jeans.

  "Our beach house is just down the road.  Why don't you meet us there."
Alan said.

  "I know where it is." said Jill.  We'll be right behind you."

  OK, I finished my drink and walked with Steve to our car.  He pulled me
to him and kissed me.  I opened my mouth to let his tongue slide into mine
and pulled him closer.  He pulled my dress up and slid his hand into my
panties and I could feel his fingers toy with my slit.  Oh, it felt so
wonderful.

  "Come on you two or we'll end up fucking in this parking lot."

  We got into our own cars and drove off.  Jessie reminded me to take the
next pill so I don't start anything.

  "Oh, yeah, glad you mentioned it.  My thoughts were on his cock filling
my cunt."

  "You have such a dirty mind."

  "I have a good teacher."

  "I found the pack in my purse and swallowed the next one.  We pulled into
the driveway a few minutes later.  They opened the door for us and helped
us out.  As I got out of the car, Steve helped me up then unexpectedly the
three of them picked us up and carried us into the house.  We all shrieked,
screamed and giggled at the idea of being carried.  When we got into the
house, Steve put me down and gently kissed me.  I found it strange and
somehow reassuring to look up as I kissed.  Having someone strong enough to
lift me was somehow arousing.  His hands lifted my dress and kneaded my
ass.  I loved the smell of his body and the feeling of his hands.  His
attention was getting me wet.  I could feel his cock stiffen and press
against me.  I loosened his belt and unzipped his pants.  Then I reached
into his boxers and gently stroked his cock.  There were beads of pre-come
already on the tip.  He slipped his finger along my slit from behind.  A
minute or so later he stopped me.

  "If you keep that up, I'm going to come."

  "Don't waste it, lets go into your bedroom."

  He kicked off his shoes, pants and underwear and led me half naked into
his bedroom.  I could see Jill over on the couch sucking Alan's cock and
Jessie was fucking Paul as he sat on a chair.  In a way I wanted to watch
but I wanted my first time as a woman to be special.  Steve took off his
shirt and helped me with the zipper on my dress.  I went down and sucked
his cock.  It felt so much like mine did.  I remembered stroking his cock
in the sixth grade and wishing I could suck him off then.  His pre-come
flowed more constantly.  Loved the taste on my tongue.  I tried to deep
throat him and was pleasantly surprised to feel his cock slide down my
throat and my lips touched his pubic hair.  I guess my practice with my
wife's dildo helped.  I felt his cock expand a bit and I wondered if he was
about to come.  He started fucking my throat.  I tried not to gag and then
felt him spurt off into the back of my throat.  I swallowed what I could
and let the rest fill my mouth.  Then I stood up and kissed him with my
mouth full of come.  He was shocked at first but I wouldn't let him pull
away.  Eventually he accepted his own come into his mouth.  When I knew he
swallowed it, I swallowed the rest.

  "I love the taste of a man's come, don't you?"

  "I suppose so - I never tasted it before.  Why, have you tasted a woman's
cunt?"

  "Of course silly, I love it almost as much as I like the taste of come.
now its your turn to do me."  I pushed him down to the bed and sat on his
face.  He licked my lips and stuck his tongue inside me and tickled my clit
but he wasn't anywhere near as good as Jessie.  I should have figured on
that.  It did keep me aroused while he got hard again.  He reached up and
pinched my nipples hard enough to give me a small come.  I started to move
back so I could sit on his cock but he rolled me over on my back.  I pulled
him down to me and kissed him.  I could smell myself on his face.  "Mmm,
you smell wonderful!"

  "You smell you."

  I could feel his cock against me on my belly.  "Put it in me, fuck me,
please!"

  He lifted up and tried to enter me but was having trouble at first.  I
grabbed his cock and gently put it at the entrance.  He slowly sank into me
all the way.

"Oh, yess, that feels wonderful!"  He filled me up! God he felt so good
inside me.  "Fuck me!, start slowly and then go faster!"  The friction of
his cock in and out of my cunt focused me.  I looked between my breasts and
looked down at his cock fucking me.  I couldn't see it actually enter me
but I knew what it looked like.  I watched a few more strokes and looked
into his eyes.  They were full of passion and lust for me.  I felt my womb
contract more and more and then my whole body contracted and shook with my
orgasm.  "Oh, yea, FUCK ME - FUCK ME - FUCK ME!"

  I looked up at him and wrapped my legs around his ass and pulled him to
me as deep as he could go while I contracted around his cock.  Then, when I
caught my breath, I kissed him.

"I want you more, fuck me harder now!"  Beads of his sweat and mine flowed
around my breasts and tickled.  As I asked, his fucking increased.  He
pounded into me now, his pubic bone pounded my clit.  "Oh, YES, FUCK ME,
umph umph."  I came hard this time and barely had time to catch my breath
when I came again.  My legs were helping urge him on faster and faster.  My
cunt was making farting sounds as he pounded into me.  Finally he stiffened
and I felt him throb in my cunt. and felt him spend into me.  He throbbed
in my cunt a few times and then he fucked me slowly and gently until his
cock got soft and he fell out.  He rolled off me and I lay in pure bliss.
"That was wonderful!"  So much better than as a man, I can't even describe
it.  At last I cooled down some, felt thirsty.

  "Want a beer?" I asked

  "Yeah, there's some in the frig."

  I got up and walked naked into the living room and saw the others quietly
enjoying the afterglow.  I got the two beers.

  "Come over here for a sec." said Jessie.

  So I did.  She reached a finger into my cunt, then sniffed it and licked
it.  "You got fucked."

  "How'd you guess."

  Paul must have gotten hard seeing my body because Jessie sat on his cock
and began fucking him again with me standing there.  I watched as his cock
repeatedly became enveloped by her cunt as she slowly rode him up and down.

  "Looks like you're getting fucked as well."

  "Oh shut up."

  I pinched her nipples and licked behind her ears.  I left them fucking
and went back to Steve.  Watching them was making me horny again.  When I
got there I handed him a beer and ran the other between my breasts.  I ran
my finger down his belly to his cock and then sucked his cock slowly until
he got hard again.  Then I straddled his legs, positioned myself above his
cock and sat down hard on him.  We both grunted in pleasure.  I drank my
beer as I rode his cock, slowly at first and then much faster.  I lost
track of how many times I came before he had his third for the night.  I
lay down on his chest and kissed him.

  I must have fallen asleep because I felt Jessie shaking me awake.

  "Come on Susan, time to go."

  "Do we have to?"

  "yea, they're probably waiting up for us."

  "Probably right."  I grabbed my sandals and dress and walked out to the
living room.  Jill was waiting for us.  She'd dressed while waiting, I got
my skirt on in the car.  The seat was cold.  I feel sweaty, sticky,
disheveled, and I smell of sex.  God its great to get fucked!  Thank God
everyone was asleep when we got home.  Crawled into bed as is.  Such a
long, busy exciting day I'm glad I'm on the pill.

May 17, 2002

  Had all sorts of wonderful dreams.  Came several times in my dreams.  It
was after 10 when I woke.  Spent a while writing these pages.  Still feel
grubby from last night.  Took a shower, shaved my legs and arm pits.
Jessie joined me part way through.  I hugged her, kissed her and whispered
"Thank you for last night."

It was all I could manage before I broke into tears.

   "Oh Susan, not a problem. You've had such a change.  You need someone in
your life.  I almost envy you."

  I looked at her.

  "You have a chance for a fresh new life."

  We got dressed - a peasant dress with nothing under it - and I came
downstairs.  Only Mom was there.

  "Hi Mom.  Did everyone leave?"

  "Yeah, just the three of you left.  Dad had to go to work.  I stayed to
make breakfast and then I'll leave as well.  Here's our lawyer's number.
Dad already called and told her what happened.  Not surprisingly she's
rather incredulous.  She wants to meet you and see the chalice.  If this
wasn't premeditated on your part she thinks you'll have no trouble winning
at least partial custody."

  "Cool.  I have so much to do.  I also need a new license.  Talk with my
boss and get a few things at the supermarket.  Is there anything in the
frig for food this week?  Oh damn, I'm going to have to open a new bank
account that's not in Lynn's name."

  "Dad thought of that.  Here's a check for $5,000.  Some of Grandma's
money.  If you three live in this house you'll need to pay all your bills.
The money won't last forever and if we give you more it will only go to
Lynn as part of the divorce.  Those clothes you bought must have cost
$2-$3000.  The bill will have to come out of your share."

  "$3200 and of course.  Actually I put it on Phil's credit card.  It'll
come out of the settlement."

  "One more thing.  I know its the modern age and all but be careful how
you dress and who you fuck.  I don't want my only daughter to be a slut."

  "Mom!"

  "Pardon the French but I mean it.  When you came in last night all three
of you smelled of liquor and sex.  As you stand there I can see your
breasts and no panties or bra.  You need to be careful.  Did you take
precautions?"

  "Yeah, Jessie let me use next month's pills."

  "What about AIDS?"

  "I know the guys we were with last night."

  "Yeah? Who."

  "We met the Ladd brothers and I slept with Steve.  You remember him, one
of my best friends in high school."

  "A good family, must have been strange having sex with your best friend.
Didn't it feel funny?"

  "At first but then it just felt great."

  "Yes it does, don't get addicted to it.  Any chance he'd marry you?"

  "I don't really know but if he asked I'd say yes.  I've liked him all my
life and I think I'm falling in love."

  "It was only one night and its called lust."

  "Mom? was sex with you and Dad this good?"

  "Was then, still is.  I'm 66 and we still make love about every night."

  "I never realized."

   "We grew up in a different age.  We didn't want to be obvious."

  "Thanks Mom."

  Jessie and Jill came down for breakfast.  "Hi Aunt Jane." almost in
unison.

  "You three have a lot of errands to do.  Check out the frig, figure out
what you want for food.  Susan, here's the check.  Might want to get a
doctor's appointment and get your own pills."  Jessie and Jill looked at
me.

  "We had a Mom/daughter talk."

  "Oh."

  "I'll get back Saturday around noon.  Call me if you need anything.  Once
you get your life straightened out, you'll need to get all the house bills
put in your name.  I know the three of you will be living here but for
legal reasons the bills have to be in Susan's name.  Oh, one more thing.
Grandma left one more gift for you.  I can only guess how she knew.  It's
on her bed.  Bye."  With that she left and drove off.

  "Huh?  What is it?" but she was gone.

  We all raced up to her room to find out what it was.  Lying on the bed
was what appeared to be an 18" piece of ivory about two inches thick.  It
appeared to be very old as the color was the yellow-orange of old ivory.  I
picked it up.  It was spiral and one end was carved to a penis shape.  The
other end had the inscription "To my wife ST".  It looked like a norwal
tusk.  An ivory dildo from the 1820's to Susan Tucker?  I'll have to see if
she mentions it in her diary.

  "Wow! that's awesome."

  "Sure looks bigger than Steve's cock."

  "How would you know?"

  "Because I fucked him a couple years ago silly.  He probably told you all
about me."

  "No actually, he never said a word."  An interesting thought, a discrete
man who doesn't brag about conquests.

  "Does it fit?"

  "Don't know, lets find out."

  I lay back in the bed.  The thought crossed my mind, wonder how many
times she had sex on this bed.

  Jessie sniffed it, "Smells clean"

   She licked it while Jill licked my clit.  In a minute or two I started
to get wet.  Jessie slid it into me, slowly but persistently.  It was
indeed bigger than Steve.  She got twelve inches in before it became
uncomfortable.  "Mmm, feels good but I'm not in the mood now, save it for
this evening.  I have too much to do."

  "Such a pity, Jessie pulled it out with a pop.  The spiral came out so
quickly, I almost came right there.  I wiped my cunt with a towel while
Jessie licked the ivory clean and washed it.  I took it and put it next to
Jessie's bed.

  "Jessie, Sue, Are you going to sleep together?"

  "Probably."

  "Well, there are seven bedrooms in this house.  I feel a bit lonely
sleeping by myself."

  "We'll open the door between our rooms.  The bed is big enough for three
and if someone needs privacy, she can go into Jill's room.  There are twin
beds there."

  I took a quick walk through the house.  Man my aunts are thorough.
Everything washed and put away.

  "Lets go, I've stuff to do."

  "Don't forget lipstick and a little makeup."

  First I went to Dr. Irving for check-up and exam. (a gyn exam is so
embarrassing and uncomfortable why does everyone put up with it.  "You seem
to be 100% female even down to your DNA.  I can't explain it.  You say it's
the chalice.  You realize if it indeed works as you say, you could make
some serious cash from other transgender people.  When you talk with Ms
Borner (lawyer) ask her about it.  Sometime I'd like to see it in action."
Next, to DMV with calls to Dr. Irving, the central office and the police.
Next to the police for fingerprints (they were the same as my male
prints). Back to DMV with success. Then to the Lawyer - Ms Borner, the bank
to set up a new account, the school to discuss my teaching there.  The
solution we came to was that since I was a beginning teacher, I can come
back in September as a new hire when all the paperwork was sorted out and
the students wouldn't be confused.  There is only a month left in the
school year anyway.  Then to the grocery store for script for birth control
pills and food.  By this time it was almost 3:00.  I decided it was a
gorgeous day and I wanted to lay in the sun.  We dropped off the groceries,
changed into our bikinis.  We found a secluded spot in the garden, lay out
a towel and lay in the sun with an iced tea to keep us cool.

  Jill came and put the towel next to mine.  "Care for some suntan lotion?"

  "Sure."

  Felt good as she rubbed the lotion into my skin.  She unsnapped my bra
and untied my panties so she could get everything.  Her hands felt good on
my butt.  I ended up falling asleep before anything else happened.  Woke up
about 5 with a bit of a burn.  I looked over and saw Jill and Jessie in a
passionate 69.  I thought about last night and Steve.  I could feel myself
getting wet at the thought of his cock between my legs.  Before I knew it,
I found myself rubbing my clit and pinching my nipple.  I came while they
were on their second? or perhaps third.  I went inside to take a shower.
Stung a bit.  My burn must have been worse than I thought.  I just love the
feel of the water splashing on my face, through my hair and between my
breasts and legs.  So glad I'm a woman!  After I dried myself off, I tried
pulling my towel around my chest instead of my waist.  Decided I'll have to
learn to dress under a towel or change my clothes while wearing a dress.
I've marveled at sow simple it looks.  I put on an evening dress.  Tried
putting on makeup - I think I did a pretty good job of it.  Put on some
nice ear rings and took my pill.  I looked out the window and noticed Jill
and Jessie were snuggled together nibbling ears.  I learned out the window.

  "If you love birds are done we can go out for dinner.  There are lots of
nice restaurants in the area"

  "Can we invite the Ladd brothers?"

  "Sounds like a great idea."

  "Do you know their number?"

  "Try speed dial 27."

  "Should I ask if 69 has a person listed for it?"

  "Wendy - but we won't go into that." Jessie responded.

  So I called.  They were just about to start dinner.  They agreed to meet
at a local restaurant overlooking the bay at 6:00.  Excellent food for a
reasonable price.

  "You two have a half hour to get ready.  I'll be on the porch reading."
Grabbed the diary and opened where I left off.  As before I skipped the
mundane entries and read about their relationship.

June 24, 1820

   We awoke to the sound of wind in the rigging and a different pattern of
waves.  We both dressed hurriedly.  A storm was coming.  There were a few
tense minutes while the sails were struck and the hatched sealed.  I came
on deck to watch.  At first Bill was about to tell me to go below where it
was safe but a glare set him to rights.  It was a pleasure to watch a well
trained crew work together.  I was proud of them.  The sea worsened and the
waves built up.  It made life difficult but was no worse than a thousand
we'd experienced before.  Cuddling up with Bill at the end of his watch
felt nice even if he was soaking wet.

June 26, 1820

  Storm over, seas calm, wind from the west.  Perfect sailing.  I've been
keeping myself occupied by doing mending.  Its a skill sailors know more or
less.  I'd always been pretty good at it but never tried fine woman's
material.  Found I was better at it than I expected.  In between times I
kept Bill entertained.  Whenever he passed by he stole a kiss.  Often if I
was bent over a table doing something, he'd come up behind me, lift my
dress, wet my cunny with his tongue and slip inside me.  Most of the time I
reached climax before he did.  At other times I'd drop to my knees and suck
his manhood.  I know this life must end but for now I'll enjoy it.

July 20, 1820

  Almost home, should arrive in Connecticut sometime tomorrow eve.  Our
arrival can't come too soon.  I fear I must be with child.  If my
calculations are correct my courses should have begun July 12.  For the
last week or so the heat and waves have made me nauseous to the point where
I can hardly keep anything down.  It must be morning sickness as I've never
been seasick.  I hope to stay with my sister - if she'll have me.  I hope
convincing her that I was Ephram won't be too difficult.  Bill and I hope
to be married by mid August.  The flowers must be gorgeous this time of
year.  Bill plans on taking the cargo to NYC and then back to help me get
settled.  Normally I go with him to get the best price but I don't feel up
to it.

July 22, 1820

  We got into port in the early afternoon.  Bill escorted me to my sister's
house.  When my sister Catherine opened the door she saw Bill standing
there.

  "Bill! Why isn't Ephram here to great me?  Usually he come to the house
while you unload the boat."

  "Catherine, Ephram's all right.  He asked me to escort this lady to your
house.  We're to continue to New York City this evening.  This woman, Sue,
is my betrothed.  She has a story to tell.  Believe her as it is true.  I
witnessed it with my own eyes.  I need to go but I'll be back tomorrow or
the next."

  He hugged Catherine and left.

  "Well, that was abrupt.  He almost seemed afraid of something.  I'm
sorry, what was your name again?"

  "Sue."

  "Sue, you look like you haven't got your land legs yet.  Come, have a
seat.  Do you have any baggage?"

  "Yes, Bill is having a hand send it up as we speak."

  "Good - have a cup of coffee?"

  "Please."

  "So, you have a story to tell - Oh here's your luggage now."  To the
porter, "Please take it to the bedroom at the top of the stairs first
left."

  "Yes Ma'am."

  "Thank you.  Where were we.  Oh, yes.  Your story."

  So I told Catherine the story of Ephram, Captain of the Mary Jane,
visiting taverns in Istanbul.  I explained his transformation into a woman
all in third person as if I was an observer.

  "Oh, how horrid!  What became of my dear brother!"

  "I'm right here sister."

  "Ephram?  Its really you?  A woman?  Oh, my heavens, I can't really
believe this."

  "Its true, every word."

  "Sue, Ephram told me things under this porch when he was a boy of ten
that he'd never tell anyone but his older sister."

  "You mean when I told you I wanted to be a girl?"

  "And do you remember what I told him back?"

  "That you wanted to be a boy.  Catherine, my wish finally came true.  I
did turn into a girl."

  "Oh, my God!"  She came over and gave me a hug.  "I can't believe this,
its wonderful.  My little brother the ships captain is going to marry his
first mate Bill Tucker.  I can see why you didn't want this to get out.  It
was a good story about Captain Ephram being captured and Sue coming on
board for her voyage home.  Have you two made love yet?"

  "Oh, yes, many many times.  Its absolutely wonderful.  I love the feel of
him in me.  Just thinking of it sends chills through me."

  "Aren't you afraid of becoming with child?  The prospect terrifies me!"

  "On the contrary, it excites me.  I've always wanted to bear children.
To feel them growing inside me, suckling them and raising them."

  "I'm surprised you're not already with child."

  "But I am.  My courses are two weeks late."

  "And you're not even married.  You'll be the talk of the town."

  "We expect to be married in a couple of weeks."

  "Good, that will calm the gossiping biddies."

  We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening discussing travels and old
times; especially her longing to go to sea as a sailor in a man's world
vs. my longing to be a wife and mother.  Dinner was simple as she had sent
the maid home to her sisters to ensure privacy.  We spent the evening on
the widow's walk watching the sunset and then the moon rise over the bay.
She lit the whale oil lamp and we went down stairs to the bedrooms.  I'm
beginning to get used to walking downstairs is a dress.  Pretty but not
practical.

  "Could you help me undo my dress, usually the maid does much of that."

  "If you'll do mine.  Bill has been doing the buttons for me.  I've found
they're very difficult by myself."

  At first the exchange was innocent.  I undressed her down to her shift.
She undressed me to my shift and then when I was about to turn around she
quickly lifted it over my head leaving me standing naked before her.

  "My, My.  You're 100% woman."

  "Yes I am."

  She dropped her shift to the floor leaving her as naked as I.

  "May I?"  as she reached her hand to my breast.  She caressed it lightly,
then she leaned forward, licked my breast and suckled it.  I pulled her
head up and kissed her.  I've kissed dozens of women before but never AS a
woman.  It was so different.  She was much more gentle than Bill.  I felt
her leg slide between mine and press against my cunny.  I pressed harder on
her leg.  We fucked on each other's legs, our passions both growing and we
fell on the bed. She on top, our cunnys together.  I spread my legs around
her to pull her closer.  She ground herself against me as she fucked me.  I
pinched her teats and felt my arousal reach its climax.  I pulled her
tightly as my contractions coursed through my body.  As mine were ending,
hers began.  I kissed her passionately and pinched her teats harder as she
pressed onto me.  "Yes Catherine, Fuck me fuck me."

  As she calmed down, she commented how wet we'd become.

  "I felt you spend on me almost as if you were still a man."

  "You did the same to me as well."

  "Turn around and sit on my face, I want to lick your cunny." I said.

  "Isn't that disgusting?  We pee down there."

  "True but when a woman is aroused it tastes wonderful."

  With that she sat her wonderful cunny on my face.  What a heady aroma of
aroused woman.  A whore in France taught me how to love a woman this way.
Since we had both reached our climax, Catherine was very wet, open and
puffed with her arousal.  I licked her lips and then her pearl at the head
of her slit.  She quickly rose to another climax and then several more.

  "Stop, Stop! I've had enough."

  "So soon? We women are quite capable of many more."

  "Yes I know, but I can't help myself, I imagine myself as a man."

  I kissed her and pulled her on top of me.  "You smell of woman." she
said.

  "I know and I love being a woman.  I love the whole feel of it. and I'm
willing to take the bad with the good."

  "I'm not sure you know how much bad there is in this world of men."

  "I've seen my share."

  "Yes but from the other side.  You haven't experienced it personally."

  "I know but I've always wanted to give it a try.  This happened because
it was meant to happen.  It wasn't something I expected, but once it
happened I'm glad it did."

  "I've so wanted to be a man.  Could I drink from your chalice?"

  "Are you sure?  You can't imagine the pain of the change."

  "It can't be any worse than childbirth."

  "If its something you really want to do, who am I to say no.  But if you
could post pone it until my marriage to Bill I'd be grateful.  I need to be
accepted by the women of the community before you and Bill go off sailing
for months at a time.  I need support from the women to get through bearing
this child and probably many more.  It'll only be a month or so."

  "I suppose so.  It'll be a hard wait having my dreams so close."

  "Just when you're with another woman, remember the woman you were."

May 17 2002 cont.

  "Sue, Are you ready to go?"

  "Coming!"

  The Inn is one of those old colonial houses looking over the rocky
Connecticut shore.  It has a high class French menu with service and costs
an arm and a leg.  Its usually crowded but its not Memorial day yet.  We
met the Ladd's at the door and were seated overlooking the sea.

  Steve kissed me and had his arm around my waist as we walked to the
table.  I had lobster scampi and he had a king cut rib.  We shared an
orange Charlotte for dessert.  Conversation was fun but strained.  I didn't
want him to know my past so I gave generic answers that were true but
didn't tell him anything.  I kept steering the conversation back to him.
Not hard to do as men are so full of themselves.  I'd heard all of the
stories so I knew what questions to ask.

  We went for a walk and watched the sunset from the rocks.  Late spring
sunsets are so beautiful and it was promising to be a great summer.  He sat
behind me and I leaned back against his chest.  He said he loved the smell
of my hair and ran his fingers through it.  Sent a chill down my spine.  I
leaned back and kissed him.  He gently caressed my arms and breasts.  He
felt so warm and safe behind me.  The sun set as it got dark, as if by a
pre-arranged signal, we all decided to go back to their house.  We paired
up as we got into the cars.  As we drove, he kissed me and nibbled on my
ear and neck.  Felt wonderful.  I ran my fingers through his hair and
wondered how long he'd keep it. He unzipped my dress.  It was one of my new
strapless dresses so it fell to my waist and left me naked from the waist
up.  I pretended not to care.  I pulled his mouth to my breast.  He took
the hint and licked the aureole and then on the nipple.  Oh, Goddess that
felt wonderful.  I could feel myself getting wet.  I started to unzip his
pants when we got to his house.  I quickly pulled up my dress and zipped
it.

  As we walked into his house I went to his frig for a couple of ales.  It
always helps to wash down the taste of come.  Steve was already in bed when
I got there.

  "Come here." he said.

  "Not so fast."  I lit the four candles in his room and then did a slow
striptease emphasizing my breasts and hair and finally pulling my panties
through my pubic hair and passing them to him.  I could see his cock
standing straight up in the candle light.  I ran my fingertips across his
skin and felt it twitch.  I knew he'd love it.  I gently caressed his
thighs and again his cock.  I lay between his legs so I could look up at
his face as I licked and caressed his cock.  Then I nibbled gently on the
helmet and sucked it into my throat.  I'm still amazed that I can get a
man's cock down my throat without gagging.  I slowly fucked my throat with
his cock.  My cunt was dripping down my thighs and I could feel my breasts
sway from my movement.  Steve moaned from the pleasure.  More than anything
I wanted him inside me.  I sucked one last time, moved forward, positioned
his wet cock against my slippery lips and sank down until my clit was
against his pubic bone.  The feel of his stiff cock inside me was heavenly.
I squeezed my cunt muscles against his cock a couple of times and then rose
up until he was almost out of me and then sank back down on him.  Faster
and faster.  He tried to roll me over.

  "No! I want to be on top."

  I reveled in the sensations of his cock filling my cunt, the friction
against my lips, my tits bouncing and then his fingers pinching my nipples.
I felt him come inside me.  His cock throbbed inside me and then I came.
My whole body contracted around him.  After I finished shaking, I sat back
up.  His cock still inside me.  I squeezes my cunt and pulled up.  He came
out of me with a pop.  I moved up and put my cunt over his mouth.

  "I want you to suck your come out of my cunt.  I know you like it.  You
told me once."  In my passion my defenses were down and I wasn't thinking.

  He sucked my cunt until I came again and then rolled me over, stuck his
cock in me and fucking pounded my cunt.  I lost track of how many times I
came.  They all blended into a more or less

constant series of contractions.  Finally he stopped breathing for a few
moments as he held himself deep inside me.  I felt his cock and the rest of
his body tense a few times and then relax as he came.  I looked up into his
eyes and kissed him and then cried a little.

  "Oh, honey that was great!  I can't believe anyone could make me feel so
wonderful."

  We lay there a minute or two until his cock shrank and came out of me.
Steve rolled on his side and ran his fingers through the sweat that had
puddled between my breasts.  I looked into his eyes expecting love.
Instead they had a questioning look.

  "What are you thinking?"

  "I'm not sure how to ask."

  "Do the best you can."

  "See! There, you did it again."

  "Did what? Steve what's wrong?"

  "You're acting just like one of my best friends.  And how did you know I
like the taste of my own come.  I've only told one person that - again my
best friend, I doubt he'd tell a woman my fantasies."

  "I don't think he would either."

  "So how do you know?"

  "Who's the best friend?"

  "Philip Fairchild"

  "Have you considered that Jessie, Jill and I are Fairchild's also?
Philip is a cousin."

  "That explains some but not all of it."

  I looked into his eyes for a few moments.  I hoped he'd understand.  My
heart was in my throat as I told him.  I love him so much I didn't want to
lose my best friend and love.  "Steve, can I tell you something personal
and not have you freak out on me?"

  "I guess so."

  "OK, I know so much of what Philip knows because I am Philip."

  "What?  Phil's nice looking and I've seen him naked and he's not a
woman."

  "He is now."

  "Can't be!"

  So I told him the story of the chalice and how I found it and was turned
into a woman.  Then I told him about the time we were 12 and we were
fooling around in the camper in his back yard and we sucked each other off
with the cat meowing outside.

  "Wow, only Phil knew about that."

  "Yes."

  "So, do Jessie and Jill know?"

  "They watched it happen."

  "Wow, I need to think about this."

  "Well, think as long as you need.  You are my best friend and now I love
you.  Meanwhile I need to pee.  I grabbed a pill from my purse took it and
got some water.  Then with the bathroom door open so he could see I sat and
peed.  I wonder how long it'll be before I get used to the idea of peeing
out my butt.  When I got up I took a wash cloth and wiped the come from my
cunt and legs.  What I really needed was a shower.

  "Want another beer?"  I asked as I came out of the bathroom.

  "Sure."

  Jill was sitting on Alan's cock and was rocking back and forth on it slow
and easy.

  "Hi Sue, I love how long Alan stays hard inside me.  I can fuck him
forever.  Is Steve just as good?"

  "Yes he is, maybe better."

  "Good job."  She reached out for a hug as I did - while she kept fucking
Alan.

  I watched a few moments longer.  Her tempo increased.

  "Watch me please, I'm about to come!"

  Her moans got tense and quick and then her body tensed a bunch of times
and then she let out a sigh.  I kissed her quickly and went back to Steve.

  "Have fun, don't get fucked to often."

  "You either."

  I sat on the bed cross legged, my cunt open to his view and handed him
the beer.  "How you doin'."

  "I don't know, I guess I believe you.  Is it permanent?  Can you get
pregnant and have kids?"

  "Yes, yes, and yes."

  "Is it reversible, I mean can you go back to being Phil?"

  "No."

  "How do you know?"

  "The chalice has been in my family since 1820.  I read some of their
diaries.  They tried everything and nothing works.  So I guess I'll just
have to accept being a woman."

  "As I recall that was your first most private wish all your life."

  "Well yes."

  "So this is no heartbreak."

  "Actually its like a dream come true.  Making love to you is one of the
best things I can think of.  I've wanted to be your lover ever since we
were twelve in the camper.  If I have to be a woman this is one of the best
times in history for it."

  I leaned forward and kissed him.  "I want to spend a lot of time with
you.  Maybe the rest of my life."

  "Aren't you rushing things?"

  "Probably, but its not as if we're strangers who just met yesterday.
I've known you all my life.  I know you're the right man for me.  Will you
marry me?"

  "Isn't the man supposed to ask the woman?"

  "Only in old fashioned society."

  "What about a ring."

  "My grandmother's is at home.  Her funeral was two days ago.  She was
also born a man by the way.  I don't think she'll miss it."

  "What about your wife, Lynn and the girls."

  "Lynn told me yesterday she wants a divorce as soon as possible.
Something about being married to a woman.  I don't have a problem with
that.  She can keep the house and most of what's in it.  I plan on fighting
for joint custody of the girls.  Being engaged and having a steady job will
help."  I felt a tear and then another roll down my cheek at the thought of
my children.

  "Come here."  He pulled me on top of him and then rolled on top of me.
"All this talk of marriage is making me hot."

   His hard cock slid easily inside me and he fucked me to another orgasm
before he came.  I fell asleep with him inside me.

May 18 2002

   When I woke I felt all icky from dried sweat and come.  Took a shower,
at least his bathroom is neat.  I think he cleaned it since yesterday.  I
peed standing up in the shower just to see what it was like.  Found if I
spread my legs the pee goes straight down - cool.  Also found if I spread
my lips I can aim it forward enough to pee into a urinal if I had to.
Squatting or sitting seems so much easier though.

  I found a long shirt in Steve's drawer - didn't think he'd mind.  Put on
some lipstick and a quick bit of blush, brushed my hair and teeth (love my
long hair!) and went to see what was for breakfast.  Hoped the others mind
me walking around with nothing under the shirt.

  Milk, eggs, bread, bacon, cinnamon, OJ, French toast and bacon.  Looks
good, even maple syrup.  Glad Mom taught me how to cook.  A few minutes
later the others came into the kitchen.

  "Smells good.  What's for breakfast?"

  "French toast and bacon."

  "Any coffee?"

  "Couldn't find your coffee pot.  Have OJ."

  "We use instant bags in the cupboard."

  "Have hot water in a couple minutes."

  I noticed the others were in various stages of undress and frumpiness.
Jessie had one of Paul's shirts but hadn't bothered to button it.  I could
see her breasts from here.  Alan's balls hung out a little from under his
shorts.

  "Here we go." As I put the French toast on the table.

  I sat down, grabbed a couple for myself and passed them around.

  "So what's on the agenda for today?" said Jill

  "We go home, get changed and I have a bunch of errands that need taking
care of.  After that I'd like to spend some time on the beach.

  "Steve, got some shorts I can borrow?"

  "Sure, they're in the third drawer of the bureau."

  Found several pairs of cut offs.  I took the shortest pair.  I hadn't
closed the door and I could see Steve watching me get dressed.

  "If I take your car can you get a ride home with the guys?"

  "Sure" they all said.

  "Thanks."

  I grabbed my purse and left over clothes and drove home.  When I got
there, Lynn's lawyer handed me the divorce papers.  Since he was there I
asked if I could get my stuff.  He said he wanted to be there.

  "Mind if mine comes as well?"

  "No problem." he said. "We'll call Lynn to set up a time."

  A couple of calls and we agreed on 12:00.  Dad's lawyer said she would be
honored to represent me as well.

  "Well, that's done at least."

  Spent an hour or more making phone calls about my name change, SS card,
taxes, bank accounts, pension funds, stocks, the list seemed endless.  I
swear, when I get married I'm going to keep my name!  At 11:30 Ms Borner
(my lawyer) came to pick me up.  She has a van.  It should be enough.  Half
an hour later we were there.  Lynn met us at the door.

  "Hi, I see you brought your lawyer."

  "Of course, I assume the girls are at school."

  "Yup."

  "May we come in?"

  At that moment her lawyer told her to let us in.

  "Perhaps if you gave us a list of what you want."

  "If that's what you want."

  "I asked for my journals, some family photos, a number of CDroms - back
ups of all my files. (I'm glad I keep back ups), my paintings, my guns and
a few nick nacks I value.

  "I don't want guns in the house with the kids, you knew that."

  She wouldn't let me have the china, sterling flatware, computer or
furniture.  I guess I'll have to replace them when I get a chance.

  "Oh, yess can I get the house plants.  You always kill them with thirst &
neglect."

  "Sure"

  An hour or so later we had it all in the van and drove back to the house.
Took another twenty minutes to get it in a spare bedroom.  I'll store it
all later.  The plants can join Grandma's on the porch.

  2:00, time for the beach.  So nice, the tourists aren't here yet.
Changed into a bikini and drove to my favorite beach.  After some walking I
found the other five soaking up the sun.  The benefits of going to the same
part of the beach every year. I put my stuff down and ran into the waves.
Yow! that was cold.  I'd forgotten how cold the Atlantic is in May.  When I
came out of the water Jill teased me about my stiff nipples.  I looked at
them and was surprised be their size and stiffness.  "Cool!"  I lay on the
blanket to soak up the sun.

  "Aren't you forgetting something?  Sunscreen?"

  "Can't stand the stuff, Sand glue."

  "Maybe but without it you'll be an old wrinkled woman before you know
it."

  "Sure go for it but don't wake me."

  I must admit the feeling of Jill's hands on my back and neck felt good.
She started at my ears and neck and worked her way down my back.  She
untied my bra straps and caressed the sides of my breasts as she added
extra lotion.  She continued to my bottoms and then did my feet and ankles
and worked her way up my thighs.  As she got closer to my bottom I could
feel myself become wet. I'm starting to like the feel of my clit becoming
rock hard and my cunt becoming wet.  Sort of like getting a hard on when I
was a guy.  I spread my legs a little to give her access to my upper thigh.
She took the hint and massaged my thighs and then slid her hands inside my
suit and massaged my buns.  I looked around to see who else was there, only
a couple 100 feet away.  They were kissing.  The guys were watching though.
They were lying on their sides watching as Jill's hands rubbed my buns.  I
could hear the squishy sounds as my cunt got even wetter.  Jill ran her
fingers across my clit and into my slit.  I moaned with pleasure "Yes!"
She put her thumb in my vagina and used her fingers against my clit.  I
could feel my climax building slowly.  I looked over and Jessie had opened
Paul's shorts and was sucking on his cock.  Seeing her lips touch his pubic
hair was making me more aroused.  Suddenly Jill stopped!  "What? Why?"

  "Don't worry, I'm here." Steve whispered in my ear.

  He kissed my ear.  I half turned to kiss him.

  "Help me a bit." he said.  I held my bikini bottoms aside as he slid his
cock into me.

  "Oh yeah, mmm" he filled me so.  He pretended to rub my back as he fucked
me while I had my bottoms on.  He continued ever so slowly so as not to
attract attention.  Such a tease.  The feel of his cock inside me, slowly
pulling in and out, I was so close.  I used my fingers to bring myself off.
I felt my body spasm against his cock.  He stopped as I came.  When I
calmed down, he continued again.  I don't know how many times I came before
him but it must have been five or six.  I saw Paul spurt into Jessie's
mouth.  I turned my head to see what Jill and Allan were up to and they
were doing the same as Steve and I.

  Jill mouthed the words "I love you."  She reached her hand to mine as she
shuddered in climax.  I marveled at the look of pleasure on her face.  A
few moments later I felt Steve's breath change and I felt his cock spend
inside me.  Allan came soon after.  Watching a guy come is kind of neat.  A
pleasure/pain kind of face.  After they pulled out of us we rolled over,
they put themselves in their pants and tied our bra straps.  We pulled them
on top of us and we spent I don't know how long kissing and looking into
their eyes.  Lord help me I do love him.  After what seemed like a couple
hours I noticed I was getting hungry.

  "Why don't we go back to your house and continue there."

  "I suppose so, what about it."

  "OK" from the rest.

  I ran into the water to wash off the sand and the come.

  "We should stop off at Stop & Shop to get some ribs for a BBQ.  Anyone
have some money?"

  We pooled our money.  I got a dress and sandals from Jessie.  A few
minutes later for a bag of groceries and we were at their house.  Paul lit
the grill while we took a shower.  It started with just Jessie but the rest
of us crowded into the shower. (An outside area enclosed on all sides with
three shower heads.  It was meant for crowds of kids to wash the sand off
before they came into the house.)  The six of us began by everybody soaping
everybody.  Hands and fingers every where and in all the nooks and
crannies.  I felt someone enter me from behind.  I don't think it was
Steve.  A few minutes later after he came inside me, Paul came in my hand.
Steve was being kissed by Jessie and Jill.  I felt a little jealous at
first as Steve fucked Jessie.  When we had all come, I rinsed off, grabbed
a towel, wrapped it around me and went inside.

  I decided not to get dressed.  Instead I made a tossed salad, opened a
bottle of wine and opened the potato salad.  About this time Paul came in
with the ribs.  I looked around and Paul was the only one dressed.  Steve
pulled off my towel and Jessie pulled off Paul's shorts.  We were all nude
in front of each other.  Love the evening sea breeze on my breasts and ass.
We set a sheet on the floor and had a picnic.  I cut up the ribs, grabbed
one, and began eating it.  I noticed Steve had an erection again.  I spread
some BBQ sauce on it and licked him clean.  He spread some on my nipple and
did the same for me.  We ended up spending most of dinner playing, sucking
and generally teasing each other.  At one point we played switch.  The guys
sat on the kitchen chairs.  They looked so sexy with their cocks sticking
in the air.  We got the egg timer and after one minute we switched.  I
started with Paul.  I hungrily kissed him and then looked him in the eyes
as I lowered myself on him.  "OH, Yeah!"  He pinched my nipples as I rode
him.  We only had time for a few strokes.  I squeezed my cunt muscles on
his cock trying to get him to come.

   Ding!

   "OHH?"

   Next for me was Allan.  So this is what Jill was so excited about.  We
were both very wet.  I held his cock and sat down on it.  He nibbled my ear
and diddled my clit and then squeezed my breast.  I was almost there.

 Ding!

  With Steve I took my time.  I'd already enjoyed his cock several times.
I came almost immediately.  The guys took a lot longer - they'd already
come a couple of times today.  I was rising to my second.

 Ding!

  Back to Paul.  By now I was hot for as many as I could.  I jumped on his
cock and somehow he went right in.  I could hear the sloppy squelching
sound as I fucked myself on his cock.  Oh, Oh yess!  I felt my body
contract as I hugged him to me.  I was just coming down when the bell rang.
Alan's turn again.  He pulled me to him and he fucked me as much as I
fucked him.  I was almost at my third when the timer dinged.

  "No! I'm not there yet!"

  I ignored the timer and rode Allan for another minute or so until I came
again.  The others clapped and cheered.  I slowly got off Alan's still very
stiff cock and sat back on the couch, my cunt wide open and very wet.  I
felt exhausted but so happy.

  "Our turn to come!"

  Steve lay on the floor and pulled me on top of him.  I positioned his
cock and sat down on him.  A moment later I felt someone hold onto my ass.
Paul licked my ass and then put his cock against it.  I've never been
fucked in the ass although I've used my wife's vibrator a few times.  A
real cock in my ass felt so much better.  I was tight at first and it hurt
a little but all at once I relaxed and he slid all the way in easily as we
were both very wet.  Allan was next.  I saw his cock in front of my mouth.
I pulled him close and the three of them fucked me all at once.  The
thought of it filled me with wonder.  Three men and I'm the object of their
lust.  The thought must have gotten to them as well because a couple
minutes later they came inside me in quick succession.  The thought of it
set me off again.  I swallowed what I could of Alan's come.  They pulled
out in reverse order.  I moved up on Steve's face and sat on his face.

  "Lick me clean. Please."

  I also grabbed Alan and pulled him to me and kissed him and let him taste
his come on my face. Steve seemed to enjoy licking my cunt and ass clean.
I looked over and Jessie and Jill were 69 on their sides.  When Alan
finished, I was about to get up but Steve held me down.  He wasn't finished
and gave me another quick come.

  "Enough! Lets save some for later."  I'm so glad I found the chalice and
so happy to be a woman.

  I sipped a glass of wine and felt a quiet buzz of my cunt, feelings left
from our activities.  I savored the aroma of Alan's come, strong in my
nostrils.  It went well with Chardonnay.  The rest of the evening was
relatively uneventful.  After we finished eating we took another shower
together and then we went out dancing.  I wore one of my most daring
outfits with no panties and spike heals.  There were a number of guys who
wanted to dance but the six of us stayed together.  I danced a bunch of
times with Alan and Paul.  We got home to Steve's house well after midnight
and mildly drunk.  I think its convenient that the guys are all finishing
their Masters or PhD's and have the summer mostly off.  Classes are all
over and all they really have to do is work on their theses.  Took my pill
before I fell asleep.

May 19, 2002

  Woke up around 6:00, the first one up.  Took a hot shower, looked like a
hot day coming so I put on a light dress with small blue flowers, no bra or
panties.  Last time I was at Grandma's I brought the Captain's diary.  I
grabbed a glass of OJ and went out to the deck to read.

July 23, 1820

  I woke this morning seasick again - only I was on land.  Being with child
has its downside.  The wretchedness gradually subsided.  I was able to
dress at noon.  We took a carriage into town to meet the local women and be
introduced as the betrothed to Bill Tucker.  We took the carriage to
Matilda Peckham's house for afternoon tea.  Met Lydia Pierce and Mary
Caldwell.  They were of course eager to hear my story.  Told them I'd
originally come from Newport RI of a sea faring family and had married an
English gentleman.  We had been touring Europe and the Ottoman Empire.  We
were in Constantinople when my husband was waylaid by bandits.  Fortunately
Captain Fairchild came to my rescue and gave me to Bill - his first mate -
to keep me safe while hew tried to find the bandits but unfortunately he
didn't return.  The crew searched in vain for him.  After a week Bill was
obliged to leave without him.  On the way across the ocean I ended up
falling in love with Bill.  He asked me to wed and I accepted.  He's in New
York City at the moment off loading his cargo and should be back tomorrow.
We plan on marrying mid-August.

  "My my, that's quite an adventure."

  "It just seemed scary at the time.  Can I know something about each of
you?"

  They each gave a short history.  Lydia I knew quite well.  We'd been
lovers several times before she got married.  All three were married to sea
captains and all of them were off whaling.  Its a hard life.  I know, I've
done it. But didn't realize how lonely the women they left behind were.
All three of them have several children.  I could calculate when their
husbands must have come home and none of them were present for the
birthing.  I'm sure Bill won't be home when I have my child.  As I was
thinking this, they and Catherine were crying on each other's shoulders and
holding each other close to console each other.  I did what I could to
help.  After a few minutes I noticed Matilda was kissing Mary.  I must say
I was a bit surprised.  Their kiss became more passionate.  Matilda reached
her hands in between the folds of Mary's dress to caress her breasts.
Lydia's tears had melted to heavy breathing as she watched as well.  I
reached my fingers between the myriad of buttons and folds of fabric to her
breasts.  Her breast was of medium size, firm with only a slight bit of
sag, very large nipples.  I gently caressed her breast and held the weight
of it in my hand.  Then I pinched her nipple, gently at first.  I kissed
her more passionately and moaned from the feel of it.

  "Touch me, please touch me!"

  She lifted her dress and I reached my hand under.  She lay back on the
settee, my fingers found her bush.  For a moment I thought I should have a
cock to give her the fucking she wanted.  Instead I thought of the pleasure
that could continue all evening.

  My fingers parted her hair and found her slit.  She was very wet.  I
brought my fingers to her lips so she could taste herself.

  "Do me - Please!"

  I ran my hand under her dress again.  I slid a finger then two then all
four inside her.  Her experiences of child birth had made her larger than
I'd remembered.  I fucked her with my hand while my thumb touched her
pearl.  "Harder! Faster! Please!"  A few moments later her breathing became
faster and then faster with little stifled moans and then stopped as she
came - flooding my hand.  I looked at Mary and Matilda.  They had their
dresses up and were grinding their cunnys together, their legs in a X
arrangement.  They appeared to be going from climax to climax, their bodies
shaking as they did so.  Catherine was filling herself with something that
looked like a whale bone.

  Lydia had calmed down a little by this point.  She turned to me,

  "May I taste you?  I don't know if you've done this before but we get
together twice a week and console our loneliness.  We have been doing it
for several years now."

  Her hand was kneading my breast as we talked.  I felt my wetness seep out
of me and the same feeling of having an erection that told me my pearl had
come out of her hood.

  "There are others who fool around on their husbands.  We don't want to do
that.  Have you ever made love to a woman?"

  Catherine introduced me to it yesterday.  You make me wet.  I can feel
it.  Touch me, Please!"

  "I'll do better."  With that Lydia put her hand under my dress and spread
my nether lips to the air.  She ran her tongue between them up to my cunny
and to my pearl.  I nearly screamed in pleasure.

  "Mmm, you smell as if you're with child.  I think you haven't told us the
whole story."

  Bill and I fuck 'most every day.  I love the feel of his hard cock in me,
filling me up.  I love the taste of his come on my lips."

  As I said this, she sucked on my pearl stretching it into her mouth and
nibbling on it.  "Oh, GOD!"  I came, I could feel my wetness gush from me.
She kept going and moments later I felt myself rising to another and
another.

  "Stop!, Stop!"  I pulled her up to me and kissed her.  I could taste
myself on her face.  It filled my nostrils.

  "Let me do you."

  She moved herself over my face.  Her cunny was over my mouth.  I pulled
her to me and licked her cunny, her lips and up to her pearl.  God she
tasted heavenly.  I sucked on her lips and then her pearl again.  She began
grinding herself against my chin and nose.  I could barely breath as she
fucked herself against my face.  When she came, her honey squirted my face.
I drank what I could.  Not pee but something smoother and tastier and more
wonderful.  She rolled off my and to her side.

  "Oh Lydia, that was wonderful, so different from loving a man."

  The others came to me and gave me a hug.  I could smell their various
woman scent.

  It had gotten on toward evening.

  "We must be going, our children will be coming home soon.  We look
forward to seeing you all on Thursday."

  "Lydia, in answer to your question, I am with child. I missed my monthly
courses."

  "I thought so and congratulations!  See you soon."

  Catherine and I talked on the way home.  "Isn't being a woman wonderful?
I'm so glad its happened to me.  I could make love all day."

  "Yes its fun but didn't you wish you could have fucked her properly with
a cock?"

  "Only for a moment and its unlikely a man would have come more than once
or twice.  I had far more fun this way."

  "Didn't you see the loneliness in their eyes missing their men?"

  "You think its better on board ship for four years? not even knowing if
we'll make it home alive?"

  "What about birthing your child, many women don't survive that either."

  When we got home Cloe, middle aged negro maid, helped us undress.

  "You two smell like you could use a hot bath.  I have one drawn for you.
You ladies must have some fun at your afternoon teas."

  "Thanks Cloe, and yes we do.  Sometimes we need it when our menfolk are
gone."

  "Your bath is ready, you two goin' to share?"

  "Susan?"

  "Sure."

  We sat facing each other.

  "I'll let you soap yourselves - don't need me."

  So we did.  She soaped my breasts and worked down to my cunny.  I did the
same for her.  We ended up making love.

  "The water's getting cold."

  "I noticed."

  We stepped out of the tub and at that moment Cloe came in with the
towels.

  "You two love birds done in here?"

  "I suppose so Cloe."

  She helped us put on our evening wear.  As we came down for dinner I
heard Bill walk onto the porch.  My heart leapt and I ran to give him a big
kiss.

  "How are you darlin?"

  "I'm just wonderful.  I've had a great day.  I visited Catherine's
friends and we talked about all sorts of things."

  When dinner was over, we talked about wedding plans and I told him about
Catherine wanting to be a seaman on his ship.  "Susan, you know women can't
crew on a ship."

  "Of course not dear.  She wants to use my cup."

  Bill's jaw dropped.  "Well, brother and sister, two of a kind.  You'll
have to start off as a green horn but its in your blood.  Its a lot harder
than it seems but unless I miss my mark you'll be a captain in no time.  I
plan on shipping out two days after the wedding.  You going to change
then?"

  "That's the plan."

  "Oh Bill, that sounds great."  I sat on his lap and kissed him.  The kiss
grew more passionate.

  "Good night." from Catherine.

  "Good night" we mumbled.

  I unbuttoned his fly and pulled out his cock, "Fuck me Bill" I pulled up
my dress and positioned his cock and sat down on it.  He slid inside me
easily.  I was still wet from loving Catherine.  We fucked quick and fast
until we both came a few minutes later.  I stood up and his cock came out
of me with a pop.  I licked his cock clean and pulled him to bed.

May 19, 2002 cont.

  Wow!  what a great woman.  Almost 200 years ago and she fucks as much as
I do.  I was so wet and horny it took only a few moments touching myself to
come.  Mmm what a wonderful feeling.  I enjoyed the afterglow for a while
and looked at the early morning sun and felt the breeze on my body.
Everything is so right in the world.  I went inside and made crepes for the
others.  I thought of Ephram and Catherine Fairchild and wondered how many
others desperately want to change gender.  On a whim I checked the phone
book and internet for psychiatrists and got a listing of help groups for
transgender individuals.  The next should be tomorrow night in New London
CT.  There was another in Westerly RI on the first Wednesday of each month.
Next I called my lawyer to get her opinion on the matter.  She said she
wanted to talk with me personally and please bring the chalice.  Seemed
strange as she'd already seen the chalice after I retrieved my stuff from
my wife's house.  Told her I could see her this afternoon.

  By this time the others were getting up.  Jessie had made omelets.
Remembered to tuck my dress under me as I sat so it doesn't bunch up.  Its
the little things that get me.  We talked about what we wanted to do today.

  "The beach is always an option."

  "staying home and fucking" from Alan.

  "You're so crude!" from the rest of us.

  "We could go shopping." mentioned Jane.

  "Sounds good to me." from Jessie and me.

  "Where do you want to go?"

  "How about Newport."

  "I have to be back by 5:00 to meet Ms Borner, our lawyer but other than
that I'm set."

  "Maybe you can meet her tomorrow and we'll make reservations for the Inn
at Castle Hill or The Clarke Cooke House."

  "Who's paying?" we asked.

  "We are." the guys said.

  "Sounds good to me, pass me the phone."

  "Bring a sweater, it gets chilly in the evenings."

  I grabbed one of my new sweaters, my sandals, my purse, quickly brushed
my hair, put on some lipstick and blush and I was ready.  Start to finish
15 minutes.  Jane took a little longer but she was in a towel for
breakfast.  I'd already shaved my legs and pits in the shower.  Called
Borner to rearrange the schedule and we were off.  We took Jill's van,
easier to deal with six.  We ended up having a great time wandering through
all the little shops.  It was before Memorial day so there weren't as many
tourists as there will be in two weeks.

  Found some gorgeous earrings and matching necklace in lapis and sterling.
Also found another dress I just had to have.  Had a light lunch at the
Clarke Cooke House and Dinner at the Inn at Castle Hill.  Enjoyed watching
the kite flying along Ocean Drive.  A wonderful evening to be with my love.
Had a couple beers at The Brick Alley Pub and listened to a jazz band.
Back to Steve's house around 12:00.  Made love slowly and gently.
Remembered my pill before I fell asleep.

May 20, 2002

  Drove to Ms Borner's office with the chalice.  When I got there she had
her sister, Isabel there.  We talked about how things were going with my
new body and how I was fitting in and what were my chances for visitation
of my children.  After a few minutes of discussion Ms Borner stated

  "Susan, I'll get to the point.  Isabel would like to use the chalice."

  I looked at Isabel closely for the first time.  She was dressed in jeans,
close cropped hair, dirt under her fingernails, a bulge in her pants
(probably a sock).  She was evidently a butch trying to pass as a man.
Fair job of it.

  "Why would you do that?"  I asked.

  "Because I'm a man trapped inside a woman's body."

  "What's your real name then?"

  "Pete."

  "What sort of things did you do as a boy?"

  "Play football, soccer, too short for basketball."

  "Ever write your name in the snow while you peed?"

  "Tried, didn't work very well."

  "I can vouch for these statements.  My sister always was a tomboy."

  "What job do you have?"

  "I fix motorcycles, especially Harleys."

  "Well that fits.  Did she tell you this was going to hurt - a LOT?  That
every cell in your body is changed and you'll scream as they all hurt at
once."

  "Yeah, she told me."

  "Afraid?"

  "A little."

  "Good, you should be.  Is there any paperwork to fill out, witness forms
etc.?"

  "After.  When Isabel becomes Pete."

  "Can we get to it?  I've been waiting all my life."

  I unwrapped the chalice.  "What beverage are you going to drink?"

  "I thought a burgundy would do."  She brought out the bottle and two
glasses.  She opened it, poured some for each of us and filled the chalice.

  "To a new life"

  We touched glasses.  I took a sip, put the glass down, put my hands over
my ears and turned away as Isabel was just finishing her wine.  Almost
immediately there was the look of pain and horror on her face.  My hands
tightly covered my ears but I could hear her screams.  Sounded like she was
being murdered horribly.  Slowly the screams changed pitch and became
hoarse.  As they died away, I turned to look at Isabel.  Kim was kneeling
over her/him with a horrified look on her face.  We were all shaken and
sweaty from the experience.  Slowly, Pete sat up.  There was a haunted
pained look in his eyes that slowly turned to normal.  He slowly stood up.
Wow! He must have grown almost a foot or so, a bit over 6' and had a 2"
beard.  His shoulders are much wider.  The jeans ripped at the seams and
the extra large t-shirt that covered Isabel's figure was now just right.
He reached and pulled the torn bra from under his shirt.

  "Well?  how do you feel?"

  "Shaken and a bit weak but this is great."

  "You need new clothes, these have had it."

  "I wonder what size you are now.  You're a lot taller but very skinny.  I
guess the mass needed came from your weight.  I guess when I became a woman
my mass went into my breasts."

  We took measurements and Kim went to Wal-mart just up the street to get
new clothes.  While she was gone we talked about his new life as a guy.  He
suggested that I use the chalice to help all sorts of transgender people
that would anything to change.

  "I've thought about it but I'm concerned that someone might change his
mind and sue me.  I don't really want to spend my time in court.  My
divorce was going to be bad enough.  We talked about that.  As we were
talking I noticed he had an erection.

  "Pete, before you changed were you a lesbian?"

  "Yes, why?"

  "I noticed you got hard.  Was it me or were you thinking of other
things.?"

  "Both."

  "Can I take your cherry?"

  "I'm not a virgin."

  "You are as a man."

  "I suppose so."

  I slipped off my dress.  All I was wearing underneath were thong panties.
I stepped toward Pete, ran my fingers through his beard and slowly took off
his t-shirt.  What a hunk.  I pulled his face down to me and I kissed him.
He's a bit taller than Steve, still strange to look up to someone I'm
kissing.  While we kissed, he ran his fingers over my breasts and tweaked
my nipples.

  "Still remember how to make love to a woman?"

  "Yes."

  "Don't ever forget.  You'll do women the world over a great service."

  He took his time loving me.  I went down on my knees to suck his cock.
Soft, silky on my tongue yet so hard.

  "Oh, yes better than a clit."  His pre-come oozed from his slit, slippery
and slightly salty.

  "I want to fuck you."

  "Yes fuck me with your hard cock, slip it into my hard cunt.  Don't need
a dildo do you.  You can feel what its really like to be a man."

  As I was saying this I lay back on the carpet.  I pulled him down to me,
I positioned him at my entrance.  With a groan he thrust into me.  Felt
good for me as well.

  "Oh, yes, fuck me, fuck me."

  I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him into me.  The feel of his
hard cock thrusting into me was great.  Mmm, I squeezed my cunt around him
in time to his thrusting.  A couple minutes later I felt him stiffen and
then spurt into me.  The feel of his orgasm helped me with mine.

  "Oh, excuse me!" from Kim.

  "Oh, come in, Pete was trying out his new equipment.  Go get yourself
cleaned off."  He ran into the bathroom, and I used his t-shirt to clean
myself and then got dressed in front of Kim.  She tried not to look but I
could tell she was curious.

  "Susan? Could you come here for a moment?"

  "Sure, what's the problem.?"

  "I have to piss but it won't come out."

  "Still have a hardon don't you."

  "Yes."

  "It has to go down or nothing but come will come out.  Its so you can't
pee inside a woman."

  "Oh, How long will it take?"

  "You just fucked me, give it a minute or two.  Don't forget to aim."

  "OK, here it comes.  Whoa!" The sound of piss splashing on the floor and
then the bowl.

  "Make sure you clean up the mess."

  "How do you aim?"

  "Lots of practice, remember writing your name in the snow? Or try sinking
bits of toilet paper."

  "Guys can play all sorts of games when they pee huh."

  "Yup."

  While Pete played games with his pee I asked Kim to come up with a
contract for letting transgender individuals use the chalice with a minimum
of lawsuits.  When Pete came out I gave him a kiss.  He put on his new
clothes.

  "Looks good.  You're going to have to change your entire wardrobe.
Should be cheaper than mine was.  In the meantime, I'm hungry.  Lets have
lunch."

  We went out to a local diner.  Couldn't believe how much Pete ate.  I had
a salad and a coke.  Went home to Grandma's house after.  Mom was there to
see how I'm doing.  We hugged.  I told her about teaching next year but
taking the rest of the spring off.  We discussed the divorce and custody,
getting a new driver's license and the differences in people's perceptions
towards women.

  "You're just figuring this out aren't you."

  "Well yeah."

  "The rest of us learned the hard way as little girls."

  "Sorry."

  "Speaking of which, you smell of sex."

  "Not surprised I just made love to Steve."

  "Steve who?"

  "Steve Ladd, you remember, the one I mentioned the last time you were
here.  The one who's been my best friend since first grade."

  "OK, I wondered if it was the same one.  Does he respect you as an
equal?"

  "So far."

  "What does he think of a long term relationship and does he know who you
were?"

  "I told him the third day and he accepted it with very little problem.
He says he very rarely thinks of me as the man I was.  He said that when
the divorce is final he wants to marry me.  Oh Mom, he's wonderful he's
been my best friend for most of my life and his brothers are great as
well."

  "Doesn't it feel strange to make love to a man?  I keep thinking of you
as my little boy.  I don't recall you having gay feelings."

  "It felt very strange at first.  He's been my best friend.  Kissing him
was weird but after that it was a bit easier until we fucked.  I'd always
imagined the feeling of being penetrated by a hard cock but my cock did the
penetrating.  The reality of being a woman is very different.  The feel of
a hard cock entering me is wonderful.  I love the fact that I can have
several orgasms in a row and I've decided I really love the taste of come."

  "I told you not to get addicted to sex but you did anyway."

  "Oh, Mom, it's all new to me.  I'm sure it will be more common place
after a while."

  "What does Steve think of this?"

  "I think he enjoys making love on a regular basis."

  "We'll see how long it lasts.  Just remember if you're going to be a
teacher you can't afford to ruin your reputation.  How long are you going
to be here today?"

  "Probably most of it.  Need to do laundry and a few things."

   "While you're at it, the lawn needs mowing, the garbage needs taking
out, the asparagus needs picking and you could bring in some lilacs to
freshen up the house.  While you're doing the wash - don't forget the
sheets and curtains haven't been done in ages.  Do you remember the laundry
settings for each fabric?  Remember, you can't just dump all the colors and
whites together like some frat boy."

  "I remember some of them.  Don't we have a gardener?"

  You've got to be kidding.  They're too expensive and your grandmother was
too frugal.  Besides those gardens were her pride and joy.  It would do you
good to do something constructive.  Good exercise and a good hobby."

  "Well, where do I start?  The laundry I guess."

  "I'll help you."

  "Thanks Mom."

  So we spent the next twenty minutes making piles of colors, darks and
whites, doing laundry and discussing the care of all my new clothes.  Then
we took a walk through the garden and discussed all the upkeep that would
be needed.

  "Mom, tell me in two week increments.  Maybe I'll remember it."

  "You're lucky, all of her seeds have been started and planted and even
some of the weeding done.  We picked asparagus, rhubarb and lilacs threw
all the flowers from the funeral on the compost and set new vases.  Then
more laundry, mowing and more mowing.  By this time I was hot and sweaty.
Added two tanks of gas.  Put it away and came in for a drink.

  "Have some iced tea- still your favorite drink I hope."

  "Yes Mom, that's wonderful."

  "Go take a shower.  We still have all the laundry to fold and put away.
I'll do the curtains while you're in the shower."

  Soap and hot water felt great on my face and chest.  I was almost
finished and was rinsing my hair when Mom slipped into the shower with me.

  "I see you already know how to take care of your hair."

  "MOM! What are you doing here!" as I tried to cover my breasts.

  "Oh, don't mind me.  The girls in our family have been sharing showers
and baths for generations.  You do look very pretty.  Let me look at you.
I always wanted a girl.  Instead I got two boys.  I hope my feelings didn't
make you want to be a girl."

   "Don't think so Mom."  I let Mom get to the hot water.  As she filled
the tub I realized how sexy she looked.  Her breasts were medium sized like
mine, probably C cups.  A little sag but still very nice.  Very little fat
on her.  Thin but strong.  She faced me as she soaped and rinsed her
breasts, face and cunt.  Then she turned around.

   "Do my back please."  She handed me the soap. I started at her shoulders
and worked down the curve of her back to her ass and then from her feet to
her ass.  "Don't forget the nooks and crannies." and she bent forward.  I
could see her lips peeking between her buns.  I ran my finger between the
lips.  She moaned.

   "Harder dear!"

   I soaped my fingers and ran them over her lips and into her vagina.  The
soap had gone by now but the natural lubrication made her slippery.  I
slipped a couple fingers into her and then back to her clit.

   "Fuck me - fuck me hard, fuck me with your fingers!"

  I was somewhat shocked by her language but it excited me.  She leaned
forward against the wall.  I slid four of my fingers into her and fucked
her.

  "All of it - your whole hand!!"

  Huh?, OK.  So I tucked in my thumb and slipped my hand inside her.  I
curled my hand into a fist and then fucked her with it as forcefully as I
could manage.  A minute or two later, she screamed and her cunt grasped my
hand like a vise.  Her vaginal muscles cramped my hand as she came.  I
slowed down some - it was hard to move my hand.  When her body relaxed some
I started to remove my hand.  She screamed at me.

   "Keep fucking me!  I'm going to have another!!"

   So I did.  A minute or so later I felt her body tense again.  A throaty
scream came from her, the tightness on my hand was incredible as her cunt
pulsed around me.  By the time she had calmed down the water was cold.  It
actually felt good after the heat of Mom's passion.  I pulled my fist from
her cunt with a loud slurp and a pop.  I rinsed it off and she turned
around and gave me a big hug.

   "I love you so hun."  She grabbed a towel for each of us and we dried
ourselves off.  Playing the scene in my mind of my fist lost up her cunt
made me extremely aroused.  As I dried myself off I discretely fingered my
clit.  I was dripping between my legs.  Mom noticed and led me to the edge
of the bed and sat down.  She knelt in front of me, parted my legs and
licked me from vagina to clit.  A hot shiver ran through me.  She sucked my
clit into my mouth and fucked me with a dildo that came from somewhere.

  "Oh yes! Mom, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!"

   I looked between my legs at her face concentrating on giving me pleasure
and her sucking on my clit.  I felt my body tense and the feel of being
about to come.  Then, Yes, there it was, I clenched as I came.  I guess I
squeezed her head between my legs as I came. She didn't stop but sucked
harder and fucked me faster.  My orgasms continued and spread out into two,
three, more?  I don't know.  After a while I stopped coming because I was
too sensitive.  I pulled her up to me and lay back.  I kissed Mom.  Despite
the last few minutes I was surprised when she French kissed me.  The smell
of my cunt on her face was familiar yet almost overwhelming.  She stopped
and looked into my eyes.

  "I love you - I always have.  I'm so glad we had a chance to share our
love.  I'd like to continue. You aunts and grandmother and I used to make
love every chance we got.  Still do to a lesser extent.  Somehow the men
never seem to get involved.  I guess they're concerned about being gay.
I've heard your female cousins make love on a regular basis, especially
Jessie."

   "Yes, Jessie, Jane and I have made love a number of times.  The three of
us are spending nights at the Ladd's beach house.  Occasionally we share
boy friends and a couple of times had orgies where everybody fucked
everybody.  I even got Steve to suck his brother's cock while he was fucked
in the ass by the other brother."

   "I'm surprised, usually men are stuck up about it."

   "Mom, are we going to fuck some more or finish the laundry?"

   "Oh yes, let me wash my face."  She gave me a damp wash cloth.  I
started to dress.

   "Don't bother.  I usually do my indoor chores nude anyway."

   "Do you ever get caught?"

   "Rarely.  When I do its because I want to and feel like getting laid."

   We spent the rest of the afternoon folding laundry, making beds and
putting it all away.

   "Tomorrow we clean the bathrooms and sweep and mop the floors.  Care to
start dinner?"

   "Sure, but I wear clothes to cook.  I used to burn my cock when I
touched the hot stove, now I'm more afraid of burning my tits.  I'm getting
used to them but sometimes they get in the way when I least expect it."

  "Same here.  Here's a t-shirt."

  I made a salad and spaghetti with garlic bread.  Simple yet tasty.  After
dinner I told Mom I was going to a meeting for transgendered individuals.
She asked why and I told her a little about Pete.  After dinner I cleaned
the table, washed the dishes and put the food away.  I had some time before
the meeting so I read from Susan Fairchild's diaries.  There was a bunch of
entries about mundane details of the summer.  The next entry skipped to the
day before her wedding.

August 19 1820 continued

   "Tomorrow I marry Bill.  I've heard most brides have second thoughts
about getting married.  As for me, it's the best thing I've ever done.
Bill is a good man.  He does treat me with respect.  He listens to what I
say.  He's gentle and kind and he has good prospects as a sea captain and
part owner of his ship.  It's hard when he's gone on his voyages but when
he's here he's wonderful.  The feeling of his sex plunging into me is
heavenly.  We take every opportunity to make love.  We must have done so in
every room in the house, even in the garden in daylight (clothed of
course).  The old saying is true - a woman's dress falls down faster than a
man's pants pull up.  The excitement of discovery made it all the more
exciting.

   I can't say I'm excited about feeling like I'm going to vomit every
morning.  The feeling does pass by noon though.  I've heard it goes away
sometime between the fourth and fifth month.  I've noticed my breasts have
grown larger - the better to suckle the child with.  I do hope I don't need
a wet nurse.  I want to feed it myself.

Aug. 20 1820

   Today I was wed in the Stonington Congregational church.  Rev. Sykes
presiding.  It was a quiet ceremony with our friends attending.  Bill asked
me if I wanted to go somewhere after the wedding.  I told him I've been to
every port on both sides of the Atlantic.  I just wanted him home with me.
We made love several times before he was unable to continue.  This has
truly been one of the happiest days of my life.

Aug. 22 1820

   Catherine has been pressing me to let her use the chalice.  The question
has been who to tell.  We agreed on Bill and our friends Mildred, Mary and
Lydia.  (We told them on pain of death and telling the town they were
lovers of women.).  They agreed.  They thought we were joking.  We poured a
bottle of wine to celebrate.  I'll skip the description, its too horrid to
set down on these pages.  Shortly, Catherine - Gordon now - sat up.  We all
were stunned by the change.  Bill walked out muttering something about not
wanting to go through that again.  Mary went to the window to make sure he
would be gone for a while.

   "Cath - Gordon, how do you feel?"

  His voice was much lower and he was considerably taller.  Lydia said what
we all thought.  "My, what a fine looking man you've turned out to be."

   She dropped to his knees and unbuttoned his pants.  His sex came out
soft and short as mine used to be when not aroused.  She carefully sucked
on it until his sex became hard and glistened with her spit.  "Fuck me
please!"

  She leaned back on the settee and pulled her dress up.  Gordon gently
slid his new cock along her sex.

  "Catherine, just fuck the hell out of me.  I want you inside me!"

  "What ever you say."  With that he plunged into her.  They fucked like
horses until they both reached their climax.  My fingers were on my sex and
I climaxed shortly after they did.  We took turns with Gordon and each
other until the sun came up.  It aroused me so to know that just hours ago
she was a woman, my sister and now was a man, my brother.  We kissed
passionately and cried.

   "Oh Susan, I've wanted this so much, I can't thank you enough."

   "You don't have to.  We each have what we want.  It's a shame we
couldn't have started this way."

Aug. 24 1820

   Bill and Gordon set sail for the Mediterranean again.  The two men I
love most in my life are gone.  Bill hopes to be back in time for the
birthing but I know he probably won't.  Gordon spent the last day trying to
learn all the lines and sails of the Maryann.  It'll be hard for him,
learning to be a man: peeing over the bow of the ship while the waves are
crashing about and becoming comfortable with men's talk and crudeness after
a life of women's refined society.  He'll handle it because he wants to
more than anything.  I spent the afternoon at Lydia's crying on her
shoulder.  We ended up fucking each other silly using Catherine's two end
ivory dildo.

May 20 2002 continued

  Oh, time to go to the meeting.

"I'm back."

  I picked up Pete and Kim Borner and drove to the meeting.  I don't quite
know what I was expecting but when we got there, there were eleven people.
Seven presenting as women and four presenting as men.  Most of them seemed
to have done a good job on their image.  I had to look really hard to see
they weren't female or male.  A couple I'd swear were as they presented.
We all sat on couches in a large circle and introduced ourselves.  The
woman who seemed to be running the meeting said

   "Susan has a special story to tell us.  Susan?"

   "Hi, I came this evening because I have something I think you all want.
Something I wanted desperately but didn't want to admit.  I was a woman
trapped in a man's body.  Apparently it runs in my family."

   I then told them about finding the chalice in my grandmother's trunk and
drinking from it and becoming the woman I know I am.  I mentioned how it
changed my life, how my wife and children left me and how I've found a new
man to love me.  Then I described my relationship to Kim and Pete and how
he changed to a man using the chalice.  I also described the pain involved.
When I asked, there were dozens of questions about its history, what it
felt like to change, that its not reversible, did it really hurt as much as
I said, etc.  Pete emphatically said yes.  Then they wanted to see the
changes in us for themselves.  So, Pete and I disrobed.  I felt a bit
embarrassed to be the center of their attention.  Pete seemed to enjoy it.
He's a guy, he would.  Before long he had an erection and a couple of
"ladies" were going down on him.  It didn't take long at all for him to
come in their mouths.

  "Mmm tastes like real come."

  "Sure does."

  "Now, now we didn't intend for this to become an orgy."

  Watching them had made me hot but there were things to do first.

 "The question I pose for you is, do you want to try the chalice.  We know
the transition is extremely painful and we don't know how the extra
hormones and surgeries will be effected by it.  I do know that my gall
bladder scar is still there."

   There was a rush of hands all wanting to be the first to try.

  "OK, OK, you'll get a chance.  We would like each of you to sign a form
stating that we have told you about the risks, you understand them and will
not hold us liable in case you change your mind later."

   They all grabbed the form and signed for each other as witnesses.  The
first was a "woman" who passed extremely well.

  "I've been on hormones for two years now, the breasts are my own and no
implants.  My balls have shriveled up to nothing.  I'd like to have
children but we'll see what happens."

  She drank from the chalice.  I'll skip the details.  Suffice it to say I
plugged my ears and looked away.  The rest of them had the look of watching
a train wreck or the look of a deer in car headlights.  A couple of minutes
later the woman sat up.  She was a little shorter, her breasts were about
the same size.  She lifted her dress and pulled down her panties.

   "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, They're gone!"

   She licked her finger and inserted it into her cunt.  "Well, Well, it
seems I have a vagina.  I guess we won't know if I can have children until
later."

   They all bombarded her with questions and wanted to see her without her
clothes.  I was mildly surprised.  The chalice only seemed to finish what
the hormones had started.

   "Let's try a man next."

   The screams were lower pitched but just the same really.  They all
started to send shivers down my spine thinking of them.  A few minutes
later he sat up and felt under his pants.

  "Don't just stand there, take off your clothes so we can all see."

  "Yeah, lets see."

  "Oh all right."

  The man seemed to be normal, had all his parts, and was uncircumcised.  A
woman leaned forward and licked it and began to suck on him.  He moaned for
a minute or so and began to fuck her mouth.  They all cheered when he came
onto her mouth.  She sucked him dry and turned around to look at us, opened
her come filled mouth so we could see and swallowed it.

   "Tastes like real come."

   "How does it feel to be a man? Different?"

   "How do I explain - more focused on my penis I suppose, not so body
centered.  Felt wonderful, just different."

  "Who's next?" I asked.

  The evening continued on.  The only surprises were from a female to male
who had a double mastectomy didn't have any nipples as a man and a woman
who had a hysterectomy didn't have any testicles.  I'm not sure how they're
going to deal with it.  The effect of the hormones already in the body
seemed to make the change less painful.  Maybe they made the change less
drastic because the body had begun to change naturally, who knows.  By the
end of the night there were eleven happy campers with their new bodies.  We
all ended up having an orgy.  I can't even guess the number of times I got
fucked.  By the time I got home it was close to midnight.  Took a shower
and crashed into bed.



May 21, 2002

   Last night's transgender meeting was grating on my nerves from all the
pain and screams involved, but very gratifying in the end.  I've never been
fucked so many ways.  I see now why people become addicted to orgies.  I
took my shower and once again marveled at my new body, (now a week old).
I've gotten better at peeing standing up but its so much easier to pop a
squat.  I see why skirts are so useful.  If I'm not wearing panties (most
of the time) I just have to squat and pee.  Don't even need to lift my
skirt really.  I put on a light dress for breakfast.  Today's agenda is to
mop the floors and clean the bathrooms.  Mom and my cousins do their
cleaning in the nude so it'll be easier to undress later.

   "Good morning, how was your meeting?"

   It went well, there were about a dozen who wanted to change their
gender.  They were grateful.  Their most important wish came true.  Years
of dreams, done for the cost of three minutes of agony.  Who knows, I may
go into business of granting wishes - one to a customer."

   "You sound regretful, is there anything wrong?"

  "Its the screams.  You heard mine - sends chills down my spine - it makes
it hard."

  "I can understand that.  Anything worth while has a cost.  Giving birth
will hurt at least as much and will last a lot longer.  Have you thought of
that?  You were there when your wife gave birth to your daughters.  You
said yesterday that you want to have some of your own.  You'll experience a
similar agony for each one.  Have another waffle.  Drink your OJ."

  "No thanks, two were enough.  This OJ is good."

  "You must be a woman.  You used to eat six only last month."

  "Hi Jill, hi Jessie, Mom made waffles for breakfast."

  After another twenty minutes of conversation about this and that - mostly
about the Ladd brothers, it was time for work.  We started with the
bathrooms.  Each of us had her own, and worked our way down.  Then the
vacuuming and mopping of all the floors.  I'm still getting used to keeping
my tits from getting in the way.  Afterward we shared a shower and had a
lot of fun soaping each other's bodies.  Then we made love together.  Made
great use of Grandma's ivory dildo.  I thought of Susan Fairchild and
Catherine Tucker who used it so many years ago.  I've been a woman for a
week.  I can't begin to say how many orgasms I've had this week.  As a man
I'd have had three or four in the same time.

   "Penny for your thoughts, Susan?"

   "Hi Mom, just thinking how much fun I'm having as a woman."

   "There's a lot of fun but a lot of pain and frustration - you'll see.
Good and bad in every woman's lot in life."

   "Mom, you're the best."

   She kissed me and said "Enough sex for now, time for supper."

   We made supper in the nude but got dressed for dinner.

   "One should always dress for dinner.  It gives atmosphere and is good
manners."

   We were just starting dessert when the police showed up at the door and
arrested me for practicing medicine without a license.  Needless to say I
was surprised.  Mom came with me to the station.  She must have called our
lawyer Kim because she met us there.  Apparently, one of the transgender
doctors was upset by my taking away their business.  Mom paid the bail
pending a hearing June 28.  I guess I was afraid of something like this.
No matter the outcome, its something I need to do.  I wonder what being
arrested and maybe having a trial will do to my teaching carrier or getting
visiting rights to my daughters.  I wonder if it would be fair to make a
living selling my use of the chalice.  By the time we got home it was after
12:00.  The Ladd brothers were there but I wasn't interested in sex.
Mostly the idea of making the chalice available to any who want it for a
reasonable cost became my mission.

May 22, 2002

   Up early, didn't sleep well.  Kept thinking of the hearing scheduled for
next month.  I rolled over and looked at Steve.  He looks so calm.  I feel
my heart fill with love for him.  I kissed his cheek, lay back and watched
him sleep.  He must have been dreaming of me because his cock grew long and
hard.

June 28, 2002

   Finally, the court date.  The deposition was a horror show.  The other
lawyer kept bringing up all the cases where the chalice had changed the
gender of the individuals.  Of course they were all hostile witnesses but
they still had to tell the truth.  My lawyer didn't have much to say other
than it wasn't a medical procedure so the law doesn't apply.  Didn't
matter.  Had an injunction to stop using the chalice until the outcome of
the court.

   The judge looked like she was a bit put out by the whole deal, seemed a
bit far fetched for her.  The prosecution went through several witnesses
that the chalice had indeed changed their gender simply from a drink from
it.  I was called to the stand and explained where I got it and how it
worked.  No one mentioned the diaries so I didn't bring them up.  After a
half hour or so, the judge called a recess.  When we came back, she had a
young man with her, early twenties I'd guess.

   "This is a client of my nephew, Charlie.  He says he's a woman born in a
man's body.  Doctor, (speaking to the plaintiff) if he were to get a sex
change operation what procedures would he expect."

   The doctor proceeded to give a detailed description.

   "Doctor, what would be the negative possibilities? Remember you're under
oath."

   He gave a short list.

   "I happen to know you missed some.  Now Miss, if Charlie here drinks
from your chalice what happens again and don't leave anything out."

   I mentioned the pain, screams, pre-surgery effects, permanence, and
irreversability.

   "Sounds like a better option to me.  Charlie, based on what you've heard
do you still want to try it?"

   "Yes your honor."

   "Bailiff, fill the chalice with water and bring it to me."

   He did so.  She gave it to Charlie.  Within seconds the expected screams
began.  A few minutes later the judge asked Charlie if she could see her in
her chambers.  Charlie was by now a new comely woman.  After a couple
minutes the judge returned.

   "It is my opinion that this is not a medical treatment.  It is magic.
As there are no laws currently on the books prohibiting magic. The chalice
may be used until such time as the legislature sees fit to institute such
laws.  I hope that's a very long time.  Young lady, if you offer the
chalice free it also bypasses all of the business laws as well and will not
be under jurisdiction for regulation."

  To the doctor, "You may of course appeal but I really don't see a leg for
you to stand on.  Case dismissed."

   It was a load off my mind.  I hugged Kim, my lawyer and Charlie.

"Tell that friend of your's this could be the answer to their dreams."

11/7/2002 Sunday

  Had a dream last night.  I was in an army, looked like the Civil War and
my brothers and sisters were with me.  We were ordered to cross a small
river.  There was shooting every where.  As we crossed the river a terrible
fusillade of fire opened on us.  I saw all my brothers and sister fall and
then I felt a terrible pain as I was hit.  I fell intro the water and felt
myself dying.

   I woke up with a scream.  I looked around and remembered I was still
here, safe in my bed with my fiance.  Oh, Thank GOD!  I snuggled behind him
for comfort and spent a while remembering my dream, trying to remember
details and maybe figure out who these people were and what battle.  Slowly
my terror became sadness at all the useless death.  Steve woke a while
later and asked why I was crying.  I told him of my dream.  He asked me
details.  As with many guys, he's a Civil War buff.  I described the river,
the bridge and where the fighting was.  He said it sounded like it was the
battle of Anteitam. From a Connecticut soldier's point of view.  Apparently
they were raw recruits and most died in that battle.  We talked a while.  I
decided when I got a chance I'll have to check the diaries.  I seem to
recall a bunch of my ancestors died in the Civil War.  We lay together for
a while and then he started to caress me.  It felt good to get my mind off
death.  First he started to make love to me then I rolled him over so I was
on top.  I fucked myself on his cock until I'd come a couple of times.  A I
finished my second, I felt him come into me.  We lay for a while. Playing
with the sweat dripping off my breast onto his chest.  Took a shower
together.

    Its been a while since I've written in my diary.  The Summer went too
quickly as they always do.  I've become so used to my life as a woman that
I rarely think about it or my previous life as a male.  There is a steady
stream of transgender people who come to my door once or twice a week.  I
set up a padded room in the basement so the screams won't disturb the
neighbors.  BTW we all moved into Grandma's house.  The Ladd's house was
nice but a little small for the rest of us.

   I finally got my paper work straightened out and went back to my old job
as a high school teacher in the local school system.  I noticed the
student's perception of me is very different from their perception of me as
a man, but its working out well and I enjoy it.

   This afternoon I started flipping through the collection of diaries.
After a while I found what I was looking for and read bits and pieces of
Elizabeth Tucker's diaries (my Great Grandfather)

8/1/1862 Today the menfolk joined the newly formed 16th Connecticut
regiment.  My four brothers, my sister Mary (now brother David), my father
and Uncle Eric.  I cannot believe that even my sister Mary joined.  She
asked Grandmother for the chalice and became a man.  I'm only 15 so they
wouldn't let me join as well.  They were so cheerful as they left.  I fear
I shall never see them again.

9/16/1862 There's terrible news.  The newspaper says there was an awful
battle at Anteitam Maryland.  I looked at the list with trepidation.  All
of the menfolk are listed as dead.  Dreadful day.  I can't help crying.
Mum and my aunts came as soon as they heard the news.  We have no idea when
the bodies will be returned to us if ever.  There are no men left in the
family.  Who shall carry on the family name.  I'm the last in the family.

   There was also a clipping from The Hartford Courant newspaper describing
the campaign so far.

4/ /1865 Glorious day, the war is over.  I shall turn 18 next week.

5/1/1865 Grandmother Tucker took me aside this morning.  She reminded me of
that awful day three years ago when my family died and the day they all
signed up.  We talked about Mary changing to a man so she could go off to
the war and how badly I wanted to join them.  Then she asked me if I still
wanted to become a man.  I must say my heart skipped a beat.  Of course,
how could I not.  She started to discuss reasons why it would be a good
idea for the family.  I thought of me best friend, my lover, my Ida
Johnson.  What would she think if I became a man.  We'd been lovers since
14.  Would she accept me as a man?

   "Grandmother let me talk it over with my girlfriend first to make it
easier for her."

   "My, I didn't know you had a female lover."

   "We've been lovers for four years now.  Oh, Grandmother, its what I've
wanted for ever."

   "Well then come back tomorrow and you can have your wish.  Bring this
girlfriend of yours with you.  I want to meet her."

   I ran out of the house and practically flew the three houses to Ida's
house.  I knocked twice and went in without waiting for someone to answer
the door.  I met Mrs. Johnson in the hallway.

   "She's upstairs in her room."

   I ran up the stairs to her room where I found her reading.  I
practically jumped on her, gave her a kiss and spent the next few minutes
telling her everything.

   "Oh, Jane, are you really going to turn into a man?"

   "Yes, will you still live me? Will you still find me desirable?"

   "Of course I'll still love you.  I've loved you all my life.  I admit
making love to a man will be quite different from your soft sensuous body
but I'm sure I'll manage."

   We reminisced about past friendship, days as little girls wading at the
beach, playing dress-up, learning to sail.  How I'd always wanted to be a
sailor and captain of one of Daddy's ships.  So whenever Mum wasn't looking
I dressed as a boy.  She despaired of ever having a lady as a daughter.  We
also talked of the first time we made love.  It was the summer we were 14.
We were being tutored in reading writing arithmetic, geography and logic by
Grandmother Tucker.  We had been talking late into the night.  We were nose
to nose whispering secrets.  I just knew I loved her and kissed her fore
head. She froze and I bent a little and kissed her lips.  After a bit she
began to kiss back.  I gently brushed her hair from her face.  Our kisses
grew deeper.  It seemed like hours but was only minutes.  Ida pushed me
away a little and then put her hand inside my chemise to caress my breast.
I did the same for her.  Our clothes began to get in the way but we didn't
dare take them off.  We caressed each other and giggled at the pleasure and
trembled at the magnitude of what we were doing.  I finally reached under
her chemise and slid my fingers between her sex and found she was wet with
desire.  It sent my heart a flutter.  I gently rubbed my fingers in circles
over her sex as I do to myself some nights.  She moaned in pleasure and
later added her own hand to increase both the speed and force of my
motions.  She whimpered some and then shook with her pleasure.  She sighed
and looked into my eyes with love and tenderness.  I practically melted
into her eyes.  We repeated this form of lovemaking as often as we could
arrange it.

5/2/1865 Today I become a man.  Grandmother Tucker warned me it would but I
can't wait.  Ida is a mess of tears and smiles.

   This was the last of John (Elizabeth) Tucker's Diaries.

   I found Ida's diaries.  There were a lot of those.  They began at age 12
and were remarkably detailed.  They reflected the beginning of love at age
14 and described the details of conception, bearing children and life until
she died.

5/1/1865 Liz came to my house and was practically jumping up and down with
excitement.  I got her to calm down enough to tell me she was going to turn
into a man.  Needless to say my disbelief was total.

    "No, You've got to believe me." She said.  "Grandmother Tucker wants to
meet you.  I told her about us."

   My heart sank.  I was afraid I'd never be allowed to see my love again.
She practically dragged me to see her grandmother.  I'd seen her around of
course.  She only lived three doors down for heaven's sake.  I'd remembered
her as being stern and demanding.

   "So, You're Ida Johnson.  I know your grandmother well.  We grew up
together.  Your mom played with my second daughter.  I hear you're in love
with my grand daughter."

   "Yes Ma'am."

   "Did she tell you she was going to become a man?"



     "Yes but its hard to believe."

   "Its true none the less.  I started life as a man yet I've borne six
children.  And now my grand daughter wants to be a man.  Remember Mary,
Elizabeth's older sister?  She became a man so she could join the Union.
Got herself killed with the rest at Antietam.  The story that she went to
visit her aunt was a ruse."

   "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.  Mary was kind to me and I liked her a
lot."

   "Listen Ida, you love Elizabeth as a woman.  Can you lover as a man?
Men are different.  They're rougher and more crude. When she changes she
will be a different person.  What ever it is that makes us different sexes
will change her as well.  She has made love to you tenderly and gently.
What do you think of a man pounding into you all hot and sweaty?  What
about having babies."

      "I think I'd like that Mrs. Tucker.  I actually prefer men.  It's
only my love for Liz that makes me love a woman.  I want children.  I'd
given up on the idea if I was going to have a relationship with Liz."

      "There are ways around it if she were to remain a woman.  I'm glad
you prefer men."

      We talked all afternoon and had dinner together.  After the dishes
were cleaned and put away, Mrs Tucker told Liz and I "Go upstairs and spend
the night making love.  It'll be your last as a woman.  Its a special kind
of love that men can never give."

     Liz looked into my eyes and reached for my hand.  It felt so great to
be open about our love; approval from Mrs. Tucker.  When we got to the
bedroom, we kissed - lightly at first.  Then deeper.  I felt her tongue
enter my mouth MMM, I sucked it into me.  Then we stopped and began to
undress each other.  I've never seen another woman naked before.  She was
more beautiful than I'd imagined.  I pulled her to the bed on top of me.
Her kisses became more passionate.  Her breasts brushed mine.  She
straddled my thigh and rubbed her cunnie against my thigh.  I felt myself
approaching my peak, and I looked into Liz's eyes.  The look of love and
lust in her eyes drove me over the edge.  I held her tight as I spend.  A
few moments later she spent as well.  I felt her wetness on my thigh.  As
our breathing slowed she covered my face in little kisses.  She rolled off
me and ran her fingers through the perspiration dripping between my
breasts.  We talked a while and speculated about the future.

     "I over heard one of the sailors on Father's ship discuss making love
to a woman.  He mentioned licking her cunnie and sucking on it."

     "Eew!  That's gross.  Its where you pee."

     "He described it as delicious, like a fresh oyster."

     She leaned over and kissed my breast.  She kissed my belly and worked
her way to my cunnie.  I was hesitant at first but when I felt her tongue
on my slit a shock of pleasure went through me.  I gripped her hair and
pulled her closer.  She sucked my lips and button.  I spent so quickly.
She continued - Oh Yes!  I cannot count the times but I nearly smothered
her as I wrapped my legs around her head and held her to me.  Seemed like
forever before she stopped and crawled up to me and kissed me.

     "My tongue got tired."

     I tasted myself on her lips.

    "Please let me do you."

     "Sounds wonderful."

    She turned around and lowered her cunnie on my face.  I could see every
fold, slippery with pleasure.  I hesitantly tasted her, Her aroma was over
whelming.  She moaned and lowered herself on my face.  I followed her lead
and suckled and used my tongue to enter her slit I flicked my tongue
quickly and then back to her opening.  She spent not to long after and I
felt her squirt into my mouth.  Didn't taste like pee.  Her moans and cries
sounded as if she were dying.  She collapsed to the bed but I kept going so
I could give as much pleasure as I'd gotten. From her shaking body I could
tell her pleasure continues unabated.  Her legs clamped around my face as
she rubbed herself hard against my face.  I couldn't breath and almost
drowned as her liquid filled my nose and mouth.  Eventually she gasped to
stop.  I gasped for breath and blew my nose.  All I could smell was her
sex.  I rolled over and kissed her.

     "I love you." Came from both our lips.  We fell asleep in each other's
arms on top of the bed.

5/2/1865 We were awakened when both our mothers and Mrs. Tucker came in and
awakened us.  I was mortified!  They brought breakfast in bed and a tub
with hot water.  I expressed shock at their acceptance of Liz and I making
love.  Woman lovers are so hated by our society.  Mrs. Tucker Chuckled.
Our moms giggled.  Then gave each of us hugs and kisses.

     "Oh, my naive daughter.  How little you know.  Our husbands it seems
are always off at sea and only show up for a night or two of fucking and
then they leave us with child.  How do you think we get pleasure when we're
gone.  There are generations of women lovers in this town.  We daren't let
the men know.  They're pride would be hurt."

     We finished our food and stepped into the tub.  We washed each other
and our moms held the towels.  I dressed in a casual dress.  Grandmother
told Liz not to get dressed.  She asked the rest of us to go down to the
kitchen and wait.  A few minutes later we heard a shriek and a wail that
sent shivers down our spines.  A few minutes later Grandmother Tucker came
down stairs with a fetching young man dressed in dapper men's clothes,
probably Liz's brother's.  He came up to me.  I hardly knew what to do.  I
looked into his eyes and saw Liz's eyes.  He looked at me.

     "Ida, I'm still here.  Its still me."

    I hugged him and buried my face in his chest and cried and cried and
cried..  My Liz was gone and in his place was this man.  Liz was in there
some place but barely.  We sat down to lunch.  The scene was strange,
ghostly almost.  This man talked as if he knew me but it didn't seem as if
I knew him.  Then he asked me to marry him.  I told him I needed to think
about it and get used to him as a man.  Grandmother Tucker suggested we all
walk along the beach, so we did.  The conversation was a bit strained.  It
felt weird to listen to a man discuss things from a woman's point of view.
He seemed excited about hoe he could sign on board one of the family ships
and be a sailor.  Liz had always wanted to be one.  We all had dinner
together.  Afterward Mom and I went home.  We talked of the day's events
and then I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

5/3/1865 Liz came over in the morning.  He's calling himself John now.
Another thing to get used to.

5/8/1865 I'm finally getting to know John and I'm finally falling in love
with him.  I suppose it helps that he knew me before.  We kissed for the
first time this eve.  He still has her passion.  I told him I would marry
him.  Our mothers won't let us make love until we're married.  I suppose
old habits die hard.

8/8/1865 The summer has been a blur of activity scheduling the wedding,
guests etc, etc.  John is now a sailor on one of the family ships.  They
say he's doing well.  In a few years he may get command.  He'll probably
take over our ships when Grandpa dies and Grandmother Tucker's when she
dies.  Tomorrow we wed.  I love him but I feel all trembly inside.

8/10/1865 The wedding was a blur but last night was wonderful.  We went to
Grandmother Tucker's house to the same bed we made love in in another life.
He gently and slowly undressed me as I him.

   "You're as lovely as I remembered." He said.

   "You've changed.  Let me get a look at you.  Now you're tall and lean.
Sailing has given you hard muscles and a tan."  He bent down and kissed me
with his scratchy face.  I felt his hairy chest against my breasts.  His
cock sprang to life as we kissed.  I could feel it raising between us.
John picked me up and placed me on the bed.  I ran my fingers across his
face, through his hair and then through the hair on his chest.

   "Can I get a better look at your cock?"

   It made me quiver inside as I looked at the purple head and veined shaft
that would soon be inside me.  It seemed so big, perhaps two hands long and
I couldn't quite reach around it with my hand.

   "Lick it and suck on it." John said.

 It had a musky scent.  I thought about it for a moment and then did so.  I
ran my tongue over the head and then into my mouth to suck on it.  John
pinched and twisted my nipples as I did this.  He started moving in and out
of my mouth.  Soon he was thrusting so hard he made me gag.  He was
breathing hard so I guessed he was about to spend.  Then he squirted into
my mouth.  It didn't taste as I expected but not too bad.  A bit salty.  I
swallowed what I could.  He had said months ago that a woman tastes of
oysters.  I think that a man tastes amore like it than a woman.  Then his
cock shrank to a tiny little thing that was almost amazing.  He rolled over
and kissed me and then suckled my breasts.  I felt myself getting wetter.
Then he moved down to suckle my cunnie.  His face was scratchy but he
hadn't forgotten what to do.  In no time I began to spend.  A little one
first the second was beginning to be much bigger.  He stopped for a moment.

   I groaned "Please don't stop! Please don't stop."  He moved up and tried
to thrust his cock into me but he was too low and missed.  I grabbed a hold
of him and next time he struck home.  He thrust into me.  There was a
moment of pain as my hymen broke then pleasure as he sank balls deep into
me.  I felt so wonderfully filled and his balls tickled my butt.  He waited
a second.  I could feel him throbbing between my legs.  Heaven can't be any
better than this.  Then he began to thrust into me.  Oh, Lord what a
feeling.  I heard myself wailing in pleasure and then I spent again and
again.  I felt him grunt and thrust deep into me for a few seconds and then
I could feel his cock throb deep into me and his thrusts were fast and
furious as he spent and then he collapsed on top of me.

   So this is what it's like to get laid by a man.  No wonder women like it
so much.  I hugged him as tightly as I could. I love him so.  After a while
his cock shriveled up and fell out of me.  He rolled off.  I felt his seed
dribble out of me and between my buttocks.  I spread it around and tasted
it.  The combination of his seed and my fuck was exquisite.  I used a towel
to wipe myself clean and fell asleep in his arms.

11/8/2002

I finished reading Ira's diary for that day.  I thought of her life and

mine. Steve came in and noticed I was finished reading and had the flushed

look on my face.  He came up behind me.



   "Still reading those diaries?"

   "Yes."

   "How many of them are there?"

   "Counting all the relatives there are 206 from 9 writers.  Only 3 go
into a lot of detail describing sex.  I was just beginning Ida's.  She was
my Great Grandmother.  Seemed she enjoyed sex as much as I do."

   He kissed my neck and nibbled my ears.  I enjoyed it immensely, sent
shivers down my spine.  He caressed the skin around my breasts.

   "The diaries make me hot and now you add to it.  Fuck me, Fuck me hard."

   He pulled me out of the chair and onto the carpet.  He already had his
clothes off, I hadn't noticed before.  I was so wet.  I thought of Ida as I
guided him into my vagina.  He plunged home and I gasped in pleasure.

End