SoulMates Part Three: Life and Love Decisions

Next Part Four: First Times
Previous Part Two: Another Kind of Dance

Chapter 6: First Commitment

I arrived at work Monday morning, much the worse for wear. I was dead on my feet. The weekend had not been restful at all. My mind was still churning, still seething from the events of the past few days. I was still trying to understand these new and strange concepts, and trying to reconcile what I wanted and needed from the woman in my life with what Monique had told me she would demand from me. Even a physically exhausting ten mile run had been insufficient to relax my mind and let me rest.

There had to be another way, a better way to be with her. Hours of painfully honest soul searching had brought home to me two very basic truths. The first was that I had never honestly considered such a relationship with another person before. The material I had read in the past, in Penthouse magazine, for instance, had been titillating, but I had never felt the urge to go out and find a woman to play those games with me.

The second basic and hard truth was that I was in love with my Flower Lady, with Monique. Not merely as I had imagined her in that near meeting back in Crystal City, but with the strong, vital and vibrant woman I had come to know and respect here in this office. If I stayed on, I would soon be, if I was not already, irrevocably in love with this woman. Existing without her in my life would not be living. If her ultimatum (that is all I could call it) was real, the choice I had was to accept physical, emotional and mental discomfort as the price of having her in my life.

That I could (and probably would) accept and tolerate her domination games was not an issue to me; you do not spend twenty years in the armed services and not develop very high resistance levels. My big fear was of the pain I would have to endure if I accepted her challenge, accepted her domination, in effect, surrendered my pride and my basic ego to her and then, still lost her. What else of myself would I lose then?

Actually, the book had given me some hope. If it was on the level, if that was the way these relationships really worked and if that was what Monique intended, I could accept it. At least, I could accept it part of the time. The continuing themes of the book were trust, caring and "sanity, rationality, consensuality". I had even built a my own list of needs and requirements because of that book. Unfortunately, my best guess was that Monique would be a little unhappy with the list's contents. None of the games appealed to me very much, so the list primarily consisted of limits and personal concerns for when we were "inside the scene".

I finished my morning routine of coffee, email and action item review, and knowing that I could delay it no longer, picked up my paper brain steno pad, and knocked the interconnecting door to Monique's office. She answered and I entered, taking my normal place across from her desk.

She was dressed, as always, in a well cut and professional looking suit. This one was an olive green that set off her auburn hair. It was probably only my imagination or maybe my suddenly heightened awareness of her, she seemed brighter, more vivid this morning. How would I ever live without this woman in my life? I sighed inwardly; it was no longer a matter of if I was going to accept her conditions. I knew that I already had.

She smiled at me, as she looked up from some paper on her desk. "Good morning, Nathan. I hope your leg is better."

Small talk, I thought. Well, it was a start. God knew I had no idea how to proceed. "No pain, Monique. I ran on it yesterday and it is fine for all it looks like a five year old used it for a finger painting canvas."

She chuckled at my joke and shivers ran down my spine. "How are you," her tone changed, becoming quieter, more intimate, "otherwise, Nathan?"

I flipped to the pages in my steno-pad notebook where my list was. I reread the first sentence several times as I tried to formulate a response. Finally, I could not frame the answer in any but bluntly honest terms. "Confused, Monique. Perhaps disoriented is a better word. I am very unsure about what you have said you expect from me, and what I can expect from you in return. The book was helpful, maybe even encouraging, but I can tell you that I am not in a muck sweat of excited anticipation to enter into that type of a relationship. I cannot point to anything I read or thought about that excites me very much."

Her voice was calm, but her face showed traces of sadness, disappointment. "So, where does that leave you, Nathan? What do you plan to do?" She was not going to help a bit, damn her.

"It leaves me in love with you, damn it." My voice was harsh with emotion. "It leaves me wondering if there is anything for me in this little arrangement you have proposed. I am more than a toy for you to play the games in that book with, Monique. I am a person who wants to pursue a relationship with you, even a life with you. I want to be strong for you, to be the person you come to when you need to be held. I want to fight dragons for you. I want the right to court you, to pamper you and to take care of you. Just as I want you there, being strong for me, when I need to be held or need to be pampered or taken care of. I want to go to sleep with your head on my shoulder, and then awaken to make love with you in the dawn's light. I don't want this relationship to make either one of us less than we are. Do you understand that?"

Her eyes had widened at my outburst, then smiled. "Nathan, I don't want to diminish you, either. I want you to be everything that you can be for me and for you. I don't want an automaton, Nathan, I want a man. I want all the things you mentioned from that man, but there are times, and they will be often I suspect, that I will want his submission as well. The question is, Nathan, can you give me that submission and still be that man you want to be?"

That definitely was the question. I forced myself to calm. "I don't know, Monique. I wish that I did, so that I could walk out here, out of your life right now if I was not. I am afraid that I am not clairvoyant. The only way to know for sure is to try." The smile those words evoked in her made me stop in mid sentence. God, but it made her even lovelier. I would walk through hell barefoot to put that smile on her face again.

"Monique, we need to talk some more about all this, about some of the things in that book you gave me. But, pending the completion of that talk, and assuming we resolve those issues, I will try to be the man you say you need, because, I very badly need you.

She once again became very serious. "Thank you. I am honored by your commitment. And yes, Nathan, we do need to talk. We will need to talk often as we progress, if we progress. I have a very powerful need in me, and I hope, no, I think that you are the answer to that need. Nathan, whenever we are alone in here, in this office, and the doors are not locked, you may speak freely, without reservation, about anything. It is a free zone for you, without restrictions, without constraints. If I lock the doors, then no one can enter and our reputations will be safe, and we may have an impromptu scene here. Only Roselie will enter the unlocked door without knocking and she will know soon enough if we are becoming close. She also knows that I would not have a relationship with a man if dominance and submission were not parts of it, so she will believe that you are submitting to me, anyway. However, for now, I will order her to knock so that you will have warning when our privacy may be invaded."

"Monique, we have to discuss limits and personal issues, too. I am not ready or willing to go as far as that book indicates some people do. I do not want either of us hurt by this."

Her smile was gentle. "I knew giving you that book was a good idea. Yes, we need to negotiate, Nathan. You have much to learn about the scene, about me and about yourself. I have much to learn about you. Negotiation is the first part. Most novice submissives do not fully appreciate the importance of that." She beamed at me like a teacher with a prized student. Hell, maybe she was going to be my teacher. "That is perhaps because you are not, by nature or training, a sub. Nathan, the two things that will sustain us in this exploration are trust and caring. I do not want either of us hurt either." The intercom on her desk phone buzzed. It was Roselie announcing Monique's first appointment of the day. She looked up at me. "We will talk some more later, Nathan." She returned her attention to the phone and I went back to my office.

I did not accomplish much that day. Either I was staring at the door to Monique's office, or down at the list of issues I had prepared. Monique was tied up with a stream of appointments, meetings and calls all day. All I could do was try and work, and wait.

At five pm, a somewhat harried looking Monique opened my door and came into my office. I offered to get her some coffee, but she waved that off and sat down in one of the other chairs. "What an awful day!" she exclaimed. "All I want to do, is talk with you, and everything conspires to prevent that. I am sorry, Nathan." her eyes and tone were softly sympathetic. "I know that you made a very difficult decision today, and you are still very uncomfortable about it. Probably even unhappy about it. You deserved better today." I tried to reassure her, but she waved that off, as well. "Don't talk nonsense, Nathan. After the commitment you made, ambivalent as I know you feel about submitting to me, you needed encouragement, and you needed some compassion. It is my responsibility to help you, and I was unable to." She looked at her watch.

"Nathan, I know that I said we would not go out together until after your first submission scene with me, but why don't we go someplace quiet and have some dinner. We can talk and start our negotiation. You have a lot on your mind, and if we don't talk, at least a little, you won't rest at all." She certainly had me pegged.

"How about I buy you some dinner?"

She laughed. "Negotiating already, Mr Evans? No, I don't think so. That would make it too much like the date I said you could not have until you paid for it in services rendered. All right, we will go Dutch. How is that?" I nodded my assent.

The place we went was a small Italian restaurant in Fairfax. It had a little dining room off the main room that was nearly empty on a Monday night. We were seated in a dark corner, well away from any other diners. Hanging plants abounded in the room, giving the appearance of isolation.

I ordered a light pasta dish and salad. My stomach was already roiling and would not have tolerated anything rich. Monique did the same, ordering some wine with her meal. The food was excellent, and we enjoyed the meal. It may not have been a "date" by Monique's decree, but it was warmly intimate, a meeting of close friends enjoying one another's company. Certainly it was more enjoyable than any of the dates I had been on since my retirement.

After coffee was served, and the bills dispensed with, Monique's attitude changed subtly. She seemed to become taller in her seat, and she felt further away. "Mr. Evans, you need to talk. Let us begin with some ground rules. Once we complete these negotiations, when we are alone, and involved in a scene, you will always refer to me as "Mistress" or Mistress Monique". It is my title and my honorific, and I will expect that as a matter of respect." This was not unexpected. "Since you do not know me as well as you will need to yet, I will key you to a scene in progress. If I say "present yourself", a scene is on. If I call you on the phone and say that "This is Mistress Monique.", a scene is on. Letters signed by "Mistress Monique" or addressed to you with your name in lower case letters will do the same. Finally, if I lock the doors to my office after you enter, I expect you to submit to me there. Do you understand, Nathan?"

"Yes, Monique. I understand those clues."

She nodded at the deliberate use of her name. We had not yet begun to negotiate. "Very well, do you understand the meaning of a safeword?" I nodded. "Well, you will need one. I want you to think on that word, and make a recommendation to me in the morning. Before we meet for your first full submission session, you must have an approved safeword. I will expect you to use it, Nathan. Roselie doesn't, and for that reason, she sometimes takes more than she should from me. I am strict, and sometimes, I am severe." Her face seemed to darken in the candle light. "Those times you noted her absences were the days after scenes in which she did not safeword, and in which I erred. She was badly bruised those days and could not sit. You will find this hard to understand, but Roselie loves being corrected corporally, and does not recognize her own limits. Your intervention forced me to accept that fact, and now, I am much more careful with her.

"However, you are not like that. You will have to help me as I probe your limits, Nathan. I want, need to go to the edge with you." The look on her face was incredible. I can only describe it as rapturous. This was how she felt about hurting me? My stomach told me dinner might not have been light enough. She saw my look, and interpreted it correctly. "You will be trained to it, Nathan. You will learn to accept it, if not enjoy it. If you stay, that is."

She continued. "I play and enjoy many games, Nathan. Some, perhaps many of them, you will not enjoy. If there are any you simply cannot tolerate, use your safeword. Stop the scene, and we will regroup afterwards. It may be that we will adjust some part of the game, or that we may need to simply discard it. Your safeword is literally your self protection, Nathan. Use it wisely."

"Except for one specific set of circumstances, Nathan. This is very important." She was leaning toward me, now, her body rigid, her voice intense.

"Some games are very, very important to me. I enjoy them intensely. I take great pride in their planning, in their preparation and in their execution. I do not want to discard them. I will not discard them. These games do not involve much pain, perhaps no more than a hand spanking or mild paddling. They will, in all likelihood, be embarrassing to you. You will have to face that, Nathan, that I will revel in your embarrassment, your discomfort. Those emotions are reactions are very important to me. If we are to be together, you will have to be prepared to feed those needs. I call scenes such as I have described "go no-go tests". If I ever use those words to you, either in person, by phone, or by message, then that means that your safeword is not available to you. Our compatibility as a pair, as a couple are what these trials will test.

"If you do not accept the test, or if I feel that you failed to try your best, then I do not believe I can commit to you as you want me to commit to you. Failure of a go no-go test will be reviewed for cause, and you will be disciplined for failing, probably severely. Then, we will do it again until you pass. I have to know that I am more important to you than any silly self stereotypes you may have. Your self image and self confidence will be greatly challenged in these tests, Nathan, but I think you are more than up to it. I would not be considering a relationship with you if I did not think so. Do you understand, Nathan? This is very important to me."

"Monique, I understand part of it. You are going to put me in some very embarrassing situations. You will probably tease me about them, if I understand the book I read. You will not endanger my reputation with this?"

She sat back, and for a moment, looked angry. "I will not endanger you, period. I would not be here tonight, Nathan Evans, if I did not think that you might be the man I have wanted in my life forever. I will hurt you and cause you pain, yes. I will embarrass you, yes. I will make you very uncomfortable, yes. But I will never endanger you, cause you lasting harm or disfigurement, or diminish you as a person."

"Then I understand what I need to know, Monique, and accept the go no-go test criteria."

Monique relaxed visibly. "Now, Nathan, what do you have on your list?"

I had the thing memorized. I took a deep breath. "Monique, I am a very private person, and probably in your eyes, a very conventional one. I am not anything other than strictly heterosexual. I will not tolerate being in sexual situations with other males. For now, that must include D/S scenes, as the only way I am able to reconcile my feelings about that aspect of us is by considering D/S to be lovemaking for you." I looked up at her and she indicated that I should continue.

"I would like to keep this private between us. I do not want to have sex, or be used sexually, by another woman. Frankly, I would prefer to involve no one else in this experience." Monique was shaking her head and I stopped. "Yes, Monique?" I asked.

"Nathan, Roselie is part of my life. I love her and she will have to be involved. I have told you that she wants you. If you are with me, I will want to give you to her for her pleasure."

That brought me up short. "Monique, I have always been a one woman man. I like monogamy, I like the effort it takes to make one very special woman happy. That is why I regret my failed marriage so much. I do not know how I will react to this. For you, I will try, but it is against my nature and my instincts."

"Will you try with Roselie, Nathan?" Her tone changed to one that was almost pleading. "Please."

Nodding, I finally agreed. "Roselie, yes. I can accept that, but maybe not right away. If I have to walk away from this, well, I would rather do it whole." My honesty hurt her, but she nodded her agreement.

"Secondly, Nathan, I will want other women to test you, to help train you. These are friends of mine, strong, talented women who are wonderfully skilled at getting into a person's head, and taking him places he never dreamed of going. I must insist that you agree to this, Nathan. However, I agree that you will not be required to serve them sexually, nor will they be allowed to use or test you sexually."

"Monique, be very careful what you spring on me with other people. I am working very hard to trust you. I do not trust easily, and I cannot promise to extend that trust to others simply at your request. You would do well to warn your friends of that, as well."

"I understand, Nathan. Much of this will be hard for you. I hope you find some of it to be exciting, even worthwhile. One reason I want other women involved is to try and find things that you do enjoy. I will learn from them as they test you. I hope you understand."

I thought I did, and I hated it, but I already knew that I had won all the concession from her on that score that I could. I looked back at my list. "We have already discussed the safety of my personal reputation, especially if I have to leave because of this. I do not want to have my future employability affected by this."

She sighed. "You will have to learn to trust me, Nathan. I will protect you. I promise."

Shrugging that off, I went back to the list. "Outside of specific scenes, I will not play the submissive. I want to be able to court you, take you out to dinner and the theater, to make love to you. I want to be the person that I am, or think that I am. If I have to pay the price, I want full value for my coin."

That made her laugh. "My dear, I would not accept less. I want to own all that you are, Nathan. That means your strength and free will. You have a healthy, natural dominant streak in you, my friend. It shows every day in the office. I want that part of you as well as your submission. In return, I want to give you all that I am. And that means the soft and feminine, as much as it does the strict and dominant. What is next?"

I looked at my list, then put it in the pocket. "If you mean what you just said, then everything else on that list is covered."

"Then, we have a deal?" She put her hand out across the table to me.

I rose and walked around the table and took her hand in mine, and shook it gently. Then, in a courtly move taught to me in those infernal dance lessons, I made a bow over her hand, and kissed it gently. "Yes, my love, we have a deal." I held the kiss for several seconds before I rose again. She did not let go of my hand.

"Mmmmm, you do that very well, Nathan. I will remember that. Now, we should make plans for our first get together." She opened her appointment calendar. "Nathan, are you free Friday evening?" I nodded. I was always free these days. "Very well, you are coming to my house for dinner on Friday. That will also mark your first, real training under the loving care of Mistress Monique." She grinned as I marked the date down in my own appointment book. If she noticed the pen shaking, she tactfully did not mention it.

"Now that we have that decided, we should both be getting home to bed." She took an envelope out of her purse. "This is a questionnaire. It will tell me what experiences you have had, mostly sexual, so that I can use what you know, and train you to what I like that you do not yet know. Fill it out first thing in the morning, and then, bring it and your desired safeword to me." She handed me another, thicker envelope. "Open this tomorrow after you have showered. I will expect you to be using them when you come to me with your paperwork. The D/s arrangements we have discussed begin with the approval of your word."

"All right." I took the envelope and then, helping her to rise, kissed her hand again. I walked her to her car where we said our good nights, and then stood by until she was safely on her way. When the tail light of her car was no longer visible, I walked to my own vehicle, and went home. Surprisingly, I fell immediately into a deep, untroubled sleep.

Everyone had to be watching me. They had to know. The difference in sound as I walked was so obvious. The simple movements of walking were new and different to me. I seemed to feel the movement of every muscle I used in the simple act of walking. I moved as quickly as I could to my office and tried to calm down.

Once I had relaxed somewhat, I pulled out the questionnaire and began to work my way through it. No, I was not a virgin. Yes, I enjoyed oral sex (a lot!), both as a provider and as a recipient. No, I had never performed cunnilingus on a woman during her period. Yes, I had tried anal sex, but not on the receiving end. Oh god. I had worn women's clothes, once to a costume party in payment of a bet forfeit. No, I had not worn diapers. Yes, I had received enemas, but only in the hospital. No, I had never been catheterized. No, I had never indulged in games involving my or my partner's urine. No, I had never participated in group sex of any kind. No, I had never had sex with a member of my own gender. No, I had never given or received spankings, paddlings or other forms of corporal punishment as part of a relationship. I had played a bondage game, once, but my wife had freaked out when she could not move and that had ended that. I'd had only one, monogamous relationship since I retired from the Navy and that was more than six months ago. Yes, I have been tested for HIV and was negative. Testing was immediately prior to retirement from the Navy. And so on.

I finished the questionnaire and then reviewed it once to make sure I had been completely honest. It had taken almost two hours. Checking with Roselie, to make sure Monique was free and would be for a while, I knocked on her door and entered her office.

It felt different now, being in there with her. I can't explain it, except that it no longer was "just a room" to me. Things could happen to me here, disconcerting things, things that I was not certain I was completely ready for.

Monique watched me walk across the room to her desk, her face expressionless, her arms crossed beneath her breasts. I stopped across her desk from her, but did not take my normal chair. It did not seem appropriate somehow, regardless of whether the word was approved or not.

I handed the package to Monique, and she paged through it. She would turn quickly to specific pages, I noticed, and then stop. She seemed to be want to see about certain items immediately. I stood quietly watching her, and reviewing my word choice one more time.

I had gone back to "The Loving Dominant" one more time to review the section on safe words. The word had to meet the criteria of being distinctive, but not normally used in either day-to-day or scene conversation. I hoped it would be approved, since it had more than just the safety connotations and meanings to me.

She finished reading the parts of the questionnaire and set it aside. Looking up at me, she spoke in a quiet, authoritative tone. "What is your safeword, Mr Evans?"

I swallowed, trying to moisten my mouth enough to speak. "Monique, I would like my safeword to be "soulmate"." Her mouth dropped momentarily before she recovered.

"Is that how you really feel, Nathan?" This time her voice was soft, caressing.

"Yes!" the word came out in a rush. "It is my whole reason for doing this, Monique. I think you may be a missing part of me, and I wish to honor that. If part of you is... this stuff..." I was losing my composure again. "then, I have to accept that to find that part of me. And... and, if, in the course of this experiment I have to use the safeword, then I want the word to remind you why I am here, and who I want to be to you."

The look on her face was breathtaking. The only thing I can think of comparable is the look on a child's face when the tree is first turned on to display all the gifts under it on Christmas morning. A tear ran down her face. "That is beautiful, Nathan. I am honored. I accept your safeword, and I accept you."

Her hand moved to her desk, pushed a button, and the sound of the electronic dead bolts clunking shut rang ominously behind me. She stood and walked over to stand behind me. "The doors are now locked, Mr Evans, do you remember what that means?" Her breath was soft on my ear, and her perfume tantalized my nose.

"Yes, Mistress Monique, I remember."

"Excellent, Mr. Evans. Now, I don't intend to start your formal training here. Too many potential interruptions, but we will have some informal training from time to time. Just to keep you on your toes and to let you know I care." Her laugh was soft, and disturbing. "I wonder if you were a good boy, and did as I asked, even if you were not yet formally in my keeping." She leaned against me and I felt her move upward against my back. Her breath warmed the shell of my ear. Her voice was a throaty whisper, directly into my ear. "Take off your shoes and trousers for me, Mr. Evans. Show me what I want to see."

From the moment I stepped out of the shower this morning, I knew this was coming. I slowly undid my belt, and untied my shoes. I slipped my trousers off and folded them carefully, earning a "Very neatly done, Mr. Evans" from Monique. I stood there in my socks, and in the bright red satin panties and bottomless pantyhose that had been in the bulkier of the two envelopes. "The socks, too, Mr. Evans." I slipped down, and pulled off the socks, and laid them over my folded trousers. "Face me, Mr. Evans, then stand at attention." I did an about face as I had been taught at Annapolis. I got a shock for my effort as the nylon drew static from the carpet. I stood to attention, and Monique looked me up and down, walking first in front of me, then behind me.

Her hands fondled the bare cheeks of my ass and I jumped in surprise. That earned me my first swat on my behind. "I said attention, Mr. Evans. Even civilians know that means you do not move, sir." Deft hands straightened the nylon straps that connected the waist band of the hose to the legging part, and then pulled the back of the thong panties tighter into my ass crease, making a wedgie.

She came in front of me and looked me directly in the eyes, then leaned up and gently kissed my rigid lips. Her hand fondled me through the satiny barrier of the panties. "Mmmmmm, Mr. Evans, perhaps you will like this better than you thought. This." she punctuated that word with a teasing squeeze on my cock, "says you are enjoying this quite well." She kissed me once more, then stepped back. "And you did quite well for such an impromptu little game. Just remember that a lady will always keep her stockings straight. Someday, they might be seamed." Her grin was devilish. "Dismissed, Mr. Evans."

I reached for my pants and socks, but Monique grabbed them first. "No, I think I will keep these. Don't want your feet sweating in those stockings and socks, now do we?" She went back and sat back down at her desk. "Nathan, I am about to unlock the doors, however the scene will not end until you leave the room and close the door behind you. In other words, the room is not the promised safe zone, until you leave it and return. Do you understand?"

I answered automatically. "Yes, Monique." , then caught the error as her eyebrow lifted... "I mean, Yes, Mistress."

"We will discuss that failure more fully on Friday, Mr. Evans. In the meantime, I want you to get another HIV screening. According to your file, you should be safe, but I will have to certify that to anyone who plays with you. I, of course, will receive like verification from them, and provide mine to you. Nathan, D/S often does not include sex. In fact, for you, by my promise, it will only include sex with me or maybe Roselie, but other fluids can come in contact with you or with others. Fluids which can transmit the virus. Tell me when you have had the test, and give me a copy of the results."

I had finished putting on my trousers and shoes while she spoke. My shoes felt strange, sliding around on the slippery nylons. "Yes, Mistress Monique. May I be excused now?"

The door locks clicked open. "Yes, Mr. Evans, you may. Please close the door on your way out."

Back in my office, I fell into my chair. My heart was racing and I was sweating profusely. I was also painfully erect. Was that the woman or the circumstances of the scene? The answer was not immediately forthcoming, and that was decidedly perplexing.

The remainder of the week, with the exception of two episodes, went normally. The first came the day after the pantyhose inspection. Monique gave me a brown cardboard box filled with books. A quick inspection of the contents revealed that all were erotic, and most were D/S oriented. Most of the D/S books were Female Dominant/Male Submissive tales. "For your reading pleasure and edification." she had said with that smile I was beginning to half dread.

The second incident came on Thursday, immediately after lunch. Monique locked the doors again, and again stripped me down to my underwear. This time, however, I was not wearing lingerie, only my jockey briefs. "Take them off, Mr Evans." I gaped at her in disbelief. "Now, Mr. Evans." When I did as I had been ordered, she took them from me and set them on her desk. My eyes got even wider when she hiked up her skirt and pulled off her own black lace panties.

She walked over to me, and carefully wrapped the lacy fabric around the shaft of my penis, and then told me to take myself in my hand. She then sat down, on the edge of her desk, and proceeded to display her bare pubis to me. She was so delicate, there, so finely formed. The brown red hairs of her mound had been trimmed to make a little heart. She was incredibly beautiful there, as well. Instinctively, my grip on the shaft of my cock tightened. "Yes, that is a good boy, Mr. Evans, play with your pretty lace wrapped dick. Make it big for me, but don't cum. You have to ask me for permission, first." She was teasing herself as much as she was teasing me. I could see her fingers beginning to glisten with her lubrication.

I had read of this game, the teasing, the withholding of permission, and was determined to play it well for her, but I began to lose control. I had been on edge ever since Tuesday. The scent of her seemed to fill the air, driving me further toward the edge. "Mistress, please, may I cum."

Her own hand sped up, moving across her labia and then back to her clitoris, her fingers agile, nearly a blur. "Not.... until... I ... do .. first, Mr. Evans." She was panting, breathing hard too. I felt the inevitable start, I clenched my cheeks, trying to delay, knowing it was beyond the point of stopping, when she went rigid. Her fingers stopped moving for a second, and then another, and then her whole body uncoiled as she fell back onto the desk under the force of her orgasm.

"Cum, Mr. Evans, now!!" she panted out, and I did, filling the panties with a thick, copious spew. My knees went weak and I caught myself on the chair with my free hand.

We each recovered at about the same time. She stood and walked over to me. She gripped me at the base of my cock, and tiptoed up to kiss me lightly on the lips. Impish merriment twinkled in her eyes. "Was it good for you, too, dear?"

Frankly, I did not know whether to answer or not. "Yes, Mistress-dear, it was very good. Thank you." That earned me another chuckle and another squeeze of my cock.

"I see you have been reading up on the etiquette, Mr. Evans. Very good. Now, put on the panties, and don't let anything drip on my carpet."

I carefully smeared the puddle of semen in the panty around the crotch of the garment, and then pulled them slowly, painfully onto me. Monique is a tall woman, but she is still slender. I am a slender man, but still, these panties were very tight and had little give to them. "Very good, Mr. Evans, you may finish dressing now." While I did, Monique pulled on my jockeys and pinned them with a safety pin.

"You may leave, Mr. Evans. Please bring my panties back, cleaned when you come to dinner tomorrow. I will expect you precisely at seven. Roselie will give you directions."

Back in my office, I sat uncomfortably in the very tight, very wet and sticky panties. Well, at least this time, I wasn't hard. The thought of erecting in these panties was sufficiently painful as to make that occurrence unlikely. I got back to work.

Part Four: First Times
Previous Part Two: Another Kind of Dance