Date: Sat, 21 Jul 2018 15:40:06 +0200
From: happy2Bblackowned@mail.com
Subject: Happy to be Black Owned part 1 (TG/CD story)

 This is being written in 2018 when I'm 48 and it tells the story about how
I happily became a slut for black cock.

 I apologize for making this first installment as one lenthy submission and
not breaking it into parts, but I wanted to write this straight through and
share it in its completeness.  There will be more to follow.



 My Secrets

 I'm a white, middle-aged, middle-class kind of guy.  I'm college educated,
have a nice, respectable career in managment.  I have a beautiful wife,
three children and an adorable, yappy little dog.  But there is a secret
side that hopefully my family, friends, and neighbors will hopefull never
see.



 My Backstory

 I grew up in a nice suburban town in New Jersey in the 70s and 80s.  We
had good schools, interested teachers and coaches, and from what I remember
none of the drama that goes with school life nowadays.  Sure, there were
fights on the play yard, name calling, the occasionally kids getting
tripped in the hallway.  It wasn't Utopia, but kids didn't commit suicide
or bring an AK to school because of harrasing Facebook comments.

 There also wasn't a lot of racism that I was aware of.  Our language
consisted of nigger, Jew, spic and pollack jokes, but that seemed harmless
at the time.  As I grew up and matured in college and in my professional
life all of that slid away as tolerance and acceptance of just about
everything seems to have changed completely in my lifetime.

 Of course, when I was younger, and in college, and even in the workforce
up to a few years ago, homosexuality had its own special treatment.  The
jokes and the bias and the harassment was palpable.  In most avenues of
life being gay just wasn't acceptable and wasn't talked about.  And that
was confusing to me because I knew that I had an interest in men since
junior high school.  I couldn't articulate it, I didn't have enough
education or awareness, but I knew inherently that it wasn't something I
should talk about.  At a young age I had an advanced reading level and was
allowed to read anything I wanted.  I remember reading paperback stories
(usually in the horror genre) and there would occassionally be gay
character or gay plot element which aroused me.

 I was greatly attracted to women, I must add.  In my neighborhood every
boy had a supply or access to plenty of glossy porno mags.  We traded our
Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Oui's without our parents catching on.  I
loved those mags.  Some of them even showed naked men, with large erect
cocks.  Those captivated me and I felt a yearning...which later on I could
describe it as a mixture of jealousy desire: jealous of the women and their
hot bodies and sexy outfits, and desire to help a man by giving him relief
and pleasure.

 I was confused, but I kept that all deep inside.

 I dated women, experienced sex and pleasing a woman, and eventually
married a great gal.  I was harboring a secret however.  Years prior I had
screwed up my courage for my first gay experience too.  I replied to a
personal ad in a newspaper that (outrageously) included a gay section -
this was the early 90's mind you.  I needed to rent a post office box to
have the mail sent anonymously to me.  My first experience was with an
older man.  It was typically awkward, and I was confused (again) - it
wasn't what I thought it would be (because I didn't have the smarts or
experience or courage to actually communicate my desires and expectations).
It was weird, but I was glad for it - as long as it all stayed secret.

 That first experience did cause me to endure all sorts of soul searching -
I crossed a barrier from 'thinking' about something to actually doing it;
did this corrupt me in some way, was this a one-way ticket to hell, would
people somehow 'know' that I did something gay?  All of those thoughts and
many others crowded my mind, and I did a good job of pushing them away.
Because although I had my inner turmoil, I also learned that, surprise!,
the earth didn't stop spinning because of me and the fact that I did
something GAY.  Life went on.

 And that's good, because a few weeks later I'd start feeling the desire to
try again...maybe go to a gay bar?  I'd repress that thought for a few more
weeks, continue to date girls and women...and eventually slip away for some
m2m sex.

 Now that was risky and nothing to be proud about.  Although I was
practicing safe sex, I wasn't being honest with my girlfriends (and furor
around the AIDS epidemic was deafening at that time).  I also was taking
risks of being arrested by the police - cruising, loitering, sex in a
public rest room - which would have been embarrassing and bad.  But I
didn't have many options.  I had ruled out gay bars because I didn't want
to 'out' myself and I certainly wasn't interested in any sort of
relationship with a man.  I just needed a quickie now and then.



 Sex With Men

 Sex with men for me at that time was always about me servicing another guy
- giving him a handjob in a park car or a blowjob thru a condom.  When guys
tried to return the favor, I usually declined, or worse, found their rough
manhands and tugging to be a turn off and I'd go limp, which was mutually
embarrassing.  Of course I realize now that if I sought out a soft, thin
emo-boy or fem guy, I would have found pleasure in their attention.  But I
was attracted to 'men', big guys, barrel chested guy.  Only those guys had
hands like sandpaper.  Fortunately a lot of them only wanted to be taken
care of and not reciprocate.  That was perfect for me.

 Of course I fantasized about being fucked in every position imaginable,
but knew that it would never happen.  AIDS fears crowded my thoughts; the
reality of sex in an unlit, parked cars; the risk of catching some other
STD - like anal warts (how do you explain that one!); the thought of having
my ass torn, bleeding uncontrollably, and having to go to the
hospital...and explaining that situation to my wife...all of those thoughts
kept anal sex firmly in the fantasy-only part of my brain.

 So life went on.  Married.  Kids.  Work.  Life.  And occasionally slipping
out for a hookup.  At some point Al Gore invented the internet and options
for hooking up exploded.  I was careful and always practiced safe sex.  I
knew that the risk of getting caught by my wife was partly a function of
how I managed online privacy and the explanations I gave for 'going out'.
It was also a function of frequency - the more times you do it, the more
risk there is of something going wrong.

 And I did worry about that.  So that reality check helped me to keep thing
under control.  I can estimate that I maintained an average of 1.3 m2m
encounters a year for 15 years of marriage.



 Interracial Experiences

 My anonymous sex hookups were almost all with white guys.  Not due to any
obvious prejudice on my part, but mostly because of availability.  I did
remember happily blowing a young, married Indian man in his car at a rest
stop on the parkway.  I remember seeing the baby seat in the back of his
car, the wedding band on his finger, and understanding his secret.  I never
encountered a black man, but that was about to change.

 Courtesy of the internet I had plenty of access to free porn and I came to
understand the whole idea behind a "BBC" - internet slang for Big Black
Cock.  Sure, some of these guys were hung like horses, but so were plenty
of white guys.  I was never a size freak - I have a pretty strong gag
reflex, so the image of literally chocking or puking on a cock was
absolutely real.  Nothng sexy about that.  For me, the turn on is about
pleasing a man, and being like the girls in the glossy magazines and giving
him relief.  In my mind, I was the girl and he was the man, no matter how
big his dick was.

 And that was easy to accept because although have a nice, fit and
proportionate body, my dick is frankly tiny.  Not small, but tiny.  Erect
it's like 4", but soft it's like the size of a stack a five nickles.  And
that's why it's easy for me to see myself as a woman serving a real man,
they clearly have more testosterone in their bodies.

 But the BBC thing was only a curiosity for me, not an interest.  Most of
the videos I saw were about black guys 'dominating' a white woman or man.
The guys were stereotypical acting like aggressive 'thugs'.  They were
rough and mean.  Not cool at all.  I gag easy and I knew that if I was in
that scene and couldn't finish a blowjob started, that I'd probably get
assraped.  Leading to a trip to the emergency room and a tearful discussion
with my wife.  Nope, I had no interest in BBCs.

 I realized, in my mindful middle class self awareness, that there was an
element of racism and stereotyping in that - certainly not all black men
were thugs, not all were hung like horses, not all would take joy in
hurting a sex partner.  I told myself that I'd keep an open mind, the if a
decent black guy came into my orbit I should not let bias and fear control
me.



 Expanding My Horizons

 As the internet grew, hooking up improved with resources like Craigslist,
Adam4Adam, Grindr and the like.  I was able to anonymously chat and email
with guys about all sorts of things.  I was able to learn.  I watched
Youtube videos explaining how to give perfect blowjobs.  I learned to
consider myself a submissive bottom.  I acknowledged that I had feminine
tendencies (behind closed doors) and I also learned that more than half of
the gay and bi men online are turned off by fem men.  I lalso earned about
cross dressing which was an incredible turn on.

 As a teenager I was jealous of the women in the porno mags with their long
smooth legs, glossy lipstick, and sexy eye makeup.  Now as a grown man I
was looking online at young 20-something CDs and wishing I could be them!
On two different occasions I even acquired women's clothes, panties, makeup
and a wig (thank you Amazon for bringing most of this right to my door,
discreetly packed).  I practiced dressing up at home when my family was
away.  But I never had the guts to go through with meeting anyone dressed
as a CD, so I threw my 'drag bag' away because I was worried about it being
found by my family.

 However, I do still remember the anxiety and frustration of practicing
with my makeup.  I always felt rushed, it was always harder than it looked
on a youtube video.  And I still fondly remember the one time that I had 5
hours of freedom from the wife and kids.  I took my time and shaved my
face, and put on lotion, and foundation, and lip liner, and lipstick, and
blush, and eye shadow, and mascara and a wig.  I beemed when I saw myself
in the mirror.

 No, I wasn't a pinup, but I wasn't an old hag either.  I was pretty.  I
remember smiling and thinking how good that felt.

 I then decided to post an ad as a CD on Craigslist.  That was insane, but
I had to learn.  The rudeness, the demands, the unrealistic expectations
from the guys.  Geez, why bother?  Hundreds of hours of my life wasted with
that...and another drag bag disposed of.  I set that all aside, as just
something I had experimented with but couldn't make happen.



 Yes, I'm a Cocksucker

 All of my life, the name 'cocksucker' elicited the worst feeling of
insult.  Boys on the playground having an argument may not really
understand the term, but we all know that it was the pinnacle of name
calling.  In my early days of online cruising, I was disgusted by the ads
from guys calling themselves cocksuckers, as if it was a badge of honor.
Many of them advertised for any and all and as many as possible, and that
they'd gladly drink down the cum!  That all seemed (and still does) so vile
and debasing...however I've come to consider that a good number of those
ads were probably just written by guys expressing their sexual fantasies
and frustrations.

 However, as I matured I realized that not only do I enjoy sucking cock, I
actually dislike a guy playing with or sucking my small dick.  When I saw
ads from supposedly "straight" guys that just wanted a cocksucker to blow
them, I started to realize that "that could be me".  I replied and found
out that it was true, I WAS a cocksucker and it was no longer offensive to
me - the term actually helped tow guys keep their roles clear.

 So although I wasn't really hooking up with a lot of guys numerically, I
was putting a tremendous amount of time into Craigslist and A4A trying to
connect, trying to find a decent guy.  I think that hasn't improved any.

 After over a decade of anonymous one-time hookups, I started to realize
the benefit of having an ongoing friend with benefits.  But that proved to
be illusive too, because so much of it has to do with chemistry, that you
literally don't know until you actually meet and have sex with the person.
And then there is location, ability to host, availability, personality,
hygiene and everything else that needs to be understood and assessed.  It
wasnt easy.  Plus, oh yeah - most guys lie.  Their ads or their replies
abound with lies: shaving years off their age, inches of their waistline,
claiming to be a "top" when they are actually "verse", and, of course
saying that they want an "ongoing thing" when they dont.  Or perhaps more
fairly, claiming to want an ongoing thing, but only under impossible,
unrealisitic circumstances.

 But I got lucky, one Saturday morning I found an ad from a guy a few towns
away that could host in his apartment (which is a big deal for a married
guy like me) and wanted someone to just stop by, suck him, and leave.
There was very little info and no picture posted.  The ad also said "No
pics".  I threw an email out to him.  He emailed back right away and said
"are you free now, are you coming over?".  I threw caution to the wind and
said yes and he gave me the address.  I told my wife I had to run to Home
Depot and I hurried to his place.

 I texted when I got to his building and he met me in the foyer.  We should
hands and acted like friends and took the elevator up to his place.  He was
younger than me, say mid 30s, some type of Asian mix, and had an apparently
fit, muscular body beneath this tshirt and sweats.  Once inside his
apartment he wasted no time in leading me to his bedroom, dropping his
pants and pushing me down to kneel before him.

 After all the cramped blowjobs and handjobs I'd given in cars, this was a
dream come true.  I touched him gently, admiring his hard cock sticking
straight out.  I held his balls and admired their tight heaviness.  His cut
cock looked beautiful and he smell clean and freshly showered.  I leaned in
and began to suck and lick his balls, wondering how to get the condom out
of my pocket and on him without disruption.

 I felt his hand on my head guiding me to the head of his cock, "oh damn",
I thought, "he wants me to blow him without a rubber".  As I processed all
this, his nice cock, his clean body, his controlling nature, he looked down
at me and said "suck me baby, be my girl".  As I stared into his eyes I
felt my lips open, it was like I was hypnotized by those words - I imagined
that the I was wearing red gloss lipstick and my eyes were painted,
eyelashes curled.  I felt his manhood slide passed my lips and into my
mouth.

 I savored the smell and the taste - not of latex or lube but just his sex.
I sucked and slurped to please him.

 I focused on the task at hand, the rhythm, my hands, my lips and tongue
action, his reaction, his sounds.  I wondered about how to deal with this
cum.  He moaned a whisper "I want to cum in your mouth baby, take my cum
baby".  The sound a being called 'baby' sent a spasm thru my body - I
wanted to be his girl.  I moaned agreement as I sealed my mouth around him
and increased the action.  His grip on my head was strong, he was grunting
and thrusting and I felt my mouth fill with his cum.  He was still pumping
so I just started swallowing and swallowing and then he was done, and I was
kneeling and smiling up at him, imagining that my makeup still looked
great!

 I knew my role at this point was to leave without a fuss, so I lickd the
head clean and whispered 'thank you'.  He grunted thanks as he pulled on
his underwear and sweats, I stood and shook his hand and offered to help
any time.  He smiled and said, 'yeah, sure' but I knew it was the type of
thing a guy says to a cocksucker to get him the hell out of his apartment.
So he walked me to the door and I left happy.  Knowing that I had taken my
secret gay sex to a new level.



 Not a Relationship

 Over the next year, he reached out to me half a dozen times asking how I
was and if I could come and visit.  It was always short notice - "now", on
a Friday after work or Saturday morning.  I was able to meet him 4 more
time - all pretty much the same.  Aside from the hassle of having to deal
with a last minute request, it was great.  The dude was clean and sexy, he
could host discreetly and safely, plus to be honest I felt a sexual arousal
at being called out and acting like a slut.

 I also realized that that year i had sucked 7 times - 5 with him and two
other guys.  More than in the last few years combined.  But I felt good
about it because although it really wasnt a relationship in the normal
sense, it seemed safer and more mature.  kneeling on a carpeted floor in a
clean arpartment was a big improvment!



 Exploring, Expanding

 Of course I had a desire to experience anal sex for years.  I had played
with plugs and dildos, learned about enemas and cleansing.  Although AIDS
and now HIV remained as concerns, the risks seemed manageable with safe
condom play.  But there still was the matter of not wanting to get hurt and
end up in the hospital.  So somewhere along the way I threw away the small
pile of anal toys I had accumulated which, just like the drag bag, I didn't
want my wife or kids to find.

 However now that I had an ongoing thing with a guy, I started to wonder if
it could progress into anal.

 As I considered that I started looking through Craigslist and A4A
differently, looking for guys that wanted to top a bottom.  I quickly found
out that No One, understandably, wants to deal with a 40 year old anal
virgin.  Anal viriginity is something that is prized in a 20 year old cheer
leader, not so much with a grown man.  So I did what everyone else on those
sites does - I lied.  I created a whole new account on A4A, and created a
profile saying that I was a bottom-only guy looking to get fucked.  I setup
my tripod and took some nice ass pics and posted them.

 I got quite a few compliments, but of course many of those faded away
after a few lines of chat, the predicatable dialog about 'where and when'.

 Then it happened.



 A Black Man Responds

 Up to this point I had been seeking sex online for a few years, and the
dialog I had with black guys was limited to like less than 5 I think.
Nothing ever materialized with those few for any of the dozens of typical
reasons.  But now I had an unsolicited reply to my ad sex from a black man.

 The words in his text were to the point: "Mmmm, i want to smack that fat
azz and fuck it".  I felt a tingly sensation wash over me...somebody
'wanted' me lol.

 I clicked to look at this profile which was annoyingly pictureless and
just his stats with no further details.  Damn, why are guys like that!

 He was Black, 11 years younger than me, and he was a big guy - my height
at 5-10 but 230 pounds (versus my 165) with a 38 inch waist, no dick size
stated.  I wished there was a pic, because I knew that those stats could
look fat and sloppy, or big, solid and sexy.  But there was no pic and
usually when guys don't post a pic its for a reason that they wont be
dissuaded about, so it's no use asking for one.  That's what sucked - ho
could have been not showing a pic because he had a gross body, or becuase
he was just being 'discreet'.  Uugh, there is only one way to find out...

 I did notice that his location was listed as 'Newark' which is an urban
area that most white people I know only visit if they are going to the
international airport.  I didn't want to shut anything down based on a
stereotype about where the dude lived, so I texted back "that'll work for
me" and we started a dialog over the next day.

 It was cool, unlike most guys he was willing to actually text and
communicate things.  He sounded pretty cool, he had a girlfriend so he
needed to be discreet, but he also wanted some white booty.  He was good
with meeting during the day (assuming he could get off work), he was
willing to meet in public first, he was willing to get a motel room if I'd
pay him half in cash.  He accepted that I only had been fucked twice and
was 'tight' and assured me that he'd go slow with things.  A great setup
and out chat went well, i had a good feeling about the guy.

 Using my experience with my cocksucker friend, I threw caution to the wind
and made plans to meet him the next day at noon at a particular fast food
restaurant.

 To make sure that we had agreement on safe sex, I texted "I'll bring the
lube for me and condoms for you - just let me know what type you like".
"Magnum" was the reply.  i stared at the word on my phone.

 He then quickly added that he's not that big 'down there', but he thinks
that the Magnum brand are stronger and better to use if my ass is tight. I
jokingly replied than he has to be bigger than me (because in my profile a
showed a pic of my small dick at its smallest stage.  His reply put a
shiver thru me "yeah, saw that...might as well wear panties tomorrow".

 He had already made it clear during our texts that he wasnt interesting in
touching or even seeing my dick, which was cool with me...but the panty
thing was a sexy twist.  I realize that he may have been joking, but if I
wore them he couldn't be angry or insulted because he actually said it.

 We worked out all the details, agreed not to flake out on each other, to
be on time, stay in touch by text etc..  I had a million things to do!

 Preparations

 I called out of work for the next day.  I told my wife I had an off site
meeting to go to the next day.  I went into hyper drive.  A trip to
Walgreens for a disposable enema, silicone lube, a packet of baby wipes,
and a box of Magnums.  When I checkout out at the register I wondered if
the checkout girl knew that the Magnums couldn't possibly be for me...and
the enema told a story too.  She smiled knowingly as she rang me up.

 I trimmed my fingernails and toenails.  I took the enema and a few
glycerin suppositories to clean out my bottom.  I used hair removal cream
on my ass and balls, took a shower and afterward spread baby oil over those
tender areas.

 I put everything that I needed, including an extra pair of underwear, into
my gym bag and put it in my car.

 Then before I went to bed I watched too many movies on xHamster showing
men, women and boys being destroyed by BBC for their "first time anal".
That was sobering, but thrilling too...the thought of getting down like
that, ass in the air, and surrendering control to a man for his pleasure.
It thrilled me and helped me to JO 3 times before I fell asleep.  I was
hoping to deplete my sperm so my dick would stay small tomorrow.

 The next morning I shaved and used my fingers inside me to get extra
clean.  I showered, dressed, kissed my wife goodbye and left for work.

 Although I left the house to make the pretense of going to work, i now had
about two hours to kill.  I drove toward Newark to get away from family and
friends.  I found a Walmart and bought a 3 pack of thong panties in my size
for $6.  The pack had one black, one red and one pink.  I thought the pink
would look nice against my bright white skin, so I cut the tags off and put
it in my gym bag and discarded the others before I left the parking lot.

 I was feeling quite nervous at this point.  I pulled into a Taco Bell and
made use of their private, lockable bathroom and cleansed myself again.

 I texted him to check in and confirm that we were still on.  He confirmed
so I left and got the the burger place a little early, went in and ordered
a soda and sat down.  It wasn't a great plan because the lunch crowd was
heavy and I looked and felt conspicuous sitting at a table with only a
soda.  As I sat there I looked at the men coming and going, most of which
were black (in fact I was the only white person in there the entire time I
was there).  I was looking for a 230# guy with a 38" waist.  I saw some
sloppy dudes, I saw some solid dudes.  I wondered if I would back out if he
turned out to be some fat ugly troll or if I'd still go through with it.

 At the time we were supposed to meet, he texted that he had a problem at
work, that he was coming but he'd be 'a little late'.  Oh damn, this was
starting to look and feel like a damn setup, some 65 year old asshole or 15
year old kid hiding behind a keyboard and messing with me.  Probably
sitting in the same burger place watching me suffer.  Sure, he's coming...

 But, that could all be legit to.  So I decided to play it cool and texted
"ok, but I can't stay here, it's to busy with the lunch crowd, I'll move
and tell you where to meet".  I like that last one, it put me in control.
Of course I didn't know Newark so I just drove around.  I found a park,
parked my car and went for a walk.  A really nice park it was too - nice
paved walking paths, benches, big old trees and plenty of grass.  A
surprising oasis, not Central Park but I liked it.  I text him the
location, he texted back his apologies and assured me that he was coming.
He said i'd need to wait about an hour.  Uugh.  I started to kill time by
walking.  About an hour later he texted,"Im on my way, be there in about
20, if my battery dies remember I'm wearing a red tshirt that says Jones
Construction".

 Oh damn - the old "my battery died" story.  The good thing is that I was
no longer nervous, this was looking like a runaround but I'd give him the
benefit of the doubt.  I got to the point where I was walking back and
fourth in a shady spot because the sun was out and I didn't want to get all
sweaty.  Each time I got to the end of the shady spot I'd turn around and
say "this is my last lap, if the fucker doesn't show I continue straight to
my car and never look back".

 I did that last lap 8 more times, figuring one last lap wouldn't hurt
much, and dammit I couldn't go home early anyway.  Then I saw him, or
somebody that fit the description.  Black, my height, big waistline, red
t-shirt and he was walking straight at me.  I saw right away that he was a
solid looking dude.  Sexy.  I smiled and closed the distance and asked
"Tariq?" and he said "Hey Dave, sorry about all this man" and we shook
hands and all was good.  We automatically started walking toward the exit
and talked about the next steps.  I knew where the motel was, before I came
to the park I drove by it to check it out.  He would head right over and
get the room and text me the number once he was inside.  He left and I sat
in my car for about 5 minutes.  I drove over to the motel but decided to
park on the street.  I waited for his text.

 "Door 4, Room 116"

 I got out of my car and took my gym bag and walked up the street to the
motel.  It was an absolute dump.  Unlike motels I had stayed at down the
shore on vacation, this place had a odd layout.  The building was U shaped
around a parking lot.  There was a small glass window and door for the
office, and otherwise there were only 4 doors inside the U with a large
number painted over it.  No windows showed, just wall mounted air
conditioning units.  Apparently inside each door must be a hallway with
access to other rooms.

 I walked straight to Door #4 with my bag over my shoulder, trying not to
notice how out of place I looked and felt.  I opened the door and entered
into a short, dark hallway - two rooms on each side and one straight ahead.
The smell of stale cigarette smoke was overwhelming.  I walked to 116,
which was ajar, and knocked - "its open" said a voice from inside.

 I walked in and closed the door behind me.  He had taken off his shirt,
pants, socks and shoes.  He was solid, thick, strong looking.  The room was
small, not much bigger than the double size bed.  He had the tv on a news
channel playing too loudly.  I figured out that he didn't want the
neighbors to hear me squeal.

 "You good baby?  You got my money?" he asked - I said yes and handed him a
$20 bill, my half for the room.  I noticed that his cock was starting to
tent up in his boxers and I said "let me clean up and lube a little, I'll
be right out" and I went into the bathroom and closed the door.

 Did I mention that this place was a dump?  I looked at my self in the
mirror, I was past the point of no return.  I opened the gym bag and
removed the wipes, the panties, the condoms and the lube.  I stripped and
put all my clothes in the bag.  I put some of the silicone lube on my
fingers and squatted down and worked my fingers up, in and around.  I had
fit 3 fingers in which I felt would be at least enough to get the cockhead
started.  He spoke through the door "Can't wait to see that white ass baby,
been thinking about that".

 I washed my hands and put on my panties.  I was nervous and my dick had
shrunken and I was glad to see that it all hid neatly away behind the pink
lace.  The thong slipped nicely between my smooth cheeks.  I picked up the
lube, wipes and box of condoms and opened the door, he had been sitting on
the bed facing the bathroom, but he stood right up.  The room was so small
we were practically face to face he looked me up and down and I smiled
pathetically.  I said "I brought these things", and he ordered "Set that
stuff on the bed".  I did as I was told knowing that he was staring at my
nearly naked body.

 He growled something encouraging and then ordered "Come over here and hold
my dick" I walked close and reached out for his cock.  It wasn't fully
erect, it was still in his shorts but I could feel it was thick and hefty.
I placed my other hand on his chest lightly and was impressed with the
solid muscle of his pecs.  "Turn around bitch, let me see you wiggle that
ass".

 I turned my back to him and did my best imitation of a gogo dancer wiggle
as he lightly slapped my cheeks.  Then he growled "Those panties look nice
on you bitch, you know your giving up pussy today so you wanted to dress
the part, right".  "Yes sir" I said as his one hand started to caress my
cheeks, the other hand was now on my neck squeezing slightly, holding me in
place.  "I can't wait to get in that pussy baby but I gotta take a quick
shower.  You lay down on that bed - ass up - and don't fucking move".  And
with a hard swat to my ass he propelled me toward the bed and he went into
the bathroom.

 I crawled onto the bed and pulled the two pillows out from under the
comforter and laid down on my stomach, contemplating my immediate future.
I was hoping that the sight on my white ass waiting for him would make him
happy.  I knew that in a few moments a thick cock was going to be pressing
into me, that there would be pain and discomfort, that I was going to be
fucked.  I felt oddly calm now...it was happening and I wanted it.  As he
walked into the room I saw he was naked and swinging a big piece of firm
meat between his legs.  I felt his weight on the bed as he came up and
straddled my legs.  He started to rub my ass but then changed to spanking
with sweeping left and right swipes.  Each swipe got harder and harder,
each elicited a small yelp which I could contain.

 Then hid hands grabbed my cheecks and squeezed them like they never had
been squeezed, like imy ass was a phone book he was trying to rip in half.
The effect spread me wide open and I felt him looking up and in at my
asshole.  His thumbs were playing with my hole, "Nice clean pussy, I gotta
get in there" and he asked if I was ready.  "Yes"

 He climbed off and I sat up and watched him open a condom and slip it on
his thick cock.  "Get over here on your knees".  I knelt before him and
started to gently stroke his thighs and cup his nuts.  His cock was clearly
at least 7 inches long and quite thick - larger than any I had played with.
"Get your mouth on that and suck me" he said as he pushed his cock in my
mouth.  The lube on the condom tasted awful but I sucked and took as much
as I could until I started gagging.

 He wasn't smiling but he seemed happy.  The he told me 'get up and turn
around'.  I stood and faced the bed and he said, "now take them panties
off".  I did and let them drop to the floor.  "Nah, pick that shit up girl"
and I squatted down to recover then as he warned "keep your ass to me, I
don't want to see that little girl dick of yours".  As I stood he
instructed me to wrap them around my one wrist like a rubber band, which I
did.

 He now spun me around to face him, his hard cock was pressed against my
stomach.  "You gonna be my girl now baby?"

 "Yes T"

 "How many men are in this room?"

 "Just you T, you're all man babe"

 "Good baby, now bend over"

 I wasn't ready to hear that, I wasn't sure what to do.  One hand was
immediately on my neck spinning me around with my back to him.

 "You all lubed up or you need more?" he asked

 I took the opportunity to pick up the bottle and squeeze more on my
fingers and rub in into and around my hole.  I used a wet wipe to clean my
hands and then stood still with my back to him.  He positioned me down on
my knees on the floor, knees far apart and away from the bed.  My hands
were on the bed for support but it was a very awkward, volunerable pose.
"Arch your back baby open that ass" he said as his lined his cockhead up in
my crack.  I felt his cockhead exploring and in an instant it was at the
hole and with no warning I felt him thrust right in.  Uugh I cried but he
was in deep and planted.

 He had both hands on my waist and he start pumping "Yeah baby that pussy
is tight".  With each thrust I was bouncing away so he pulled out and said
"Up on the bed now bitch I need to get what's mine".

 My ass was already throbbing from just a few seconds of sex but I knew it
had to happen, I wanted this.  Keeping back toward the end of the bed so he
could stand on the floor and still get at my pussy, I shamelessly put my
ass up and laid my head down on one of the pillows.  I stretched my arms
out straight toward the headboard.  I was surrendering, offering my ass to
him.

 In an instant he was on me and his cock thrust deep up in me again.  He
grunted and praised my tight ass.  His hands held my hips and he thrust and
thrust and thrust.  As he picked up the pace it hurt more.  My mind was in
another place as worked me over.  I marveled at how he didn't hesitate to
just push right up into the hilt and how different that was from the one
time I had tried anal with a girlfriend.  Tried.

 This guy was owning my ass.  I heard myself whimpering and gasping with
each thrust.  I must have been moving too much because he tighted the grip
on one hip and moved the other to my head, pressing his flat palm down and
pinning my head into the bed.  Now he was bucking wildly and each thrust
seems to collapse my lungs.  "Easy easy" I begged and he a slowed a little.
"You are tight bitch, I'm gonna nut too soon".  "Its ok baby, I want you to
cum" I whispered.  He picked up the pace.  He was powering into me deeply
and it hurt, but I imgainged that it wouldn't last forever so I submitted
and endured.

 I felt him slow down and pump differently, i knew he was cumming.  "Oh
baby, that pussy's too tight..." he gasped, and I felt his grip relax and
become more gentle.  "You good baby?" He said as he slide out of me.  I
looked over my shoulder and smiled and whispered "Yes baby, that's what i
needed".  And he laughed.  "You white faggot bitches all the same".  I
smiled, I knew it wasn't said as an insult, and seeing him stand there with
the dark, thick muscular body, with this thick cock still erect and wearing
a condom full of jizz, I didn't mind being called a faggot bitch.

 "Can I help you with that?" I asked as I took his shaft into my hand and
started to remove the condom.  I didn't know the etiquette of the situation
but it seemed like I should be more comfortable handling something that was
in my ass than him.  I was happy to see that the condom didnt have brown or
red streaks on it.  I went to the bathroom to flush it and wash up.  When I
came out he was getting dressed already, I asked if he had time to relax if
he wanted to get again.  i know I sounded needy.  No, he had to get back to
work.  He did say "Yo, I gotta get back to work but damn I enjoyed feeling
your pussy like that.  I'll get better as you loosen up too."

 I got dressed quickly (disappointed but not showing it, telling myself to
play it cool, no drama).

 I gave him a hug and suggested that I leave first, so we weren't seen
walking together - and he agreed.

 My ass was sore, but I was thrilled.  The total time fucking couldnt have
been 10 minutes, but when I felt him cumming somehow that made me feel
good.  i had crossed another threshhold on my sexual life.  We promised to
do it again, and I hoped he was sincere.  But I knew how hookups faded away
and how everyone avoided drama by saying 'yeah ,sure I'll call you'.

 So I was wondering what he was thinking as I sat in my car and texted him
a "thank you, hope we can do it again" message.  If only I had known what
he had planned for me.

 End


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