Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 16:58:07 -0500 From: Jennifer James Subject: Jennifer's CumPulsion - Part VI (TG) Jennifer's CumPulsion VI: First Cum By Jennifer James jennyjamestg@hotmail.com Part 1 - Beginnings Every story has to have a beginning, of sorts, and this is mine. I guess it all started many years ago. Before I really even understood what it meant, I had heard about blowjobs and sucking cock from the kids in my neighborhood. One of the neighbor kids had found a deck of those old playing cards in his fathers drawer and had passed them around, and on the back of the cards were close-ups of women's faces with their lips around hard cocks. This was before I really understood very much, and I didn't even really know why they were doing that, but the image just seemed very sensual to me, and I couldn't get it out of my mind. I asked one of the older neighborhood kids why the women were doing that, did they want the guys to pee in their mouths? And with rolled eyes, he told me that when women did that to men, the guy would cum in the woman's mouth. 'Come?' I asked "What does that mean?' and with more rolled eyes it was explained to me that when a woman sucked on a guys cock, the man would shoot their sperm into the woman's mouth, just like they would shoot their sperm into a woman's pussy to make babies if they were fucking. 'Why would a woman want to do this?' I then asked, and the kid said 'Because they're whores, other women won't do that' I'd always felt like I was a girl, right from the beginning, but I was very good at hiding that and no one knew I felt that way. And as puberty began to set in, and the hormones started raging, I began to dress completely as a girl as often as I could, and always had fantasies of being with a guy as a girl. And the fantasies always involved me sucking them off - what else was I going to do to please them? Time passed, and as soon as I started driving, I also began going out regularly in public as a girl. No one still knew about this part of me, and I would get dressed with full makeup, fix my own long hair (common in the early seventies), and stay en femme for entire days and weekends. And during these times I was obsessed with finding a guy to suck off. In those days there was no awareness of transgender, and to me the only way this would ever happen would be for me to find someone who thought I was a girl, and somehow get in his pants. But reality always stepped in, and even though I was fairly passable, I was always too scared to actually try to do this, and rightly so, since if I'd gotten caught fooling someone I was almost guaranteed to get my ass kicked or worse. So everything stayed as fantasies. In my early twenties I met, as a guy, a bisexual guy in my neighborhood, who was constantly asking me if he could suck my cock. And while as a guy this wasn't something that appealed to me, one night we found ourselves in the right time and place, and I ended up sucking him off (with him sucking me off afterwards). Physically, everything went fine, I used my mouth, lips, and tongue to do all the things to his cock that I'd fantasized about, he did make all the right noises, he did blast my mouth with a large load of cum, I did drain him dry, and I did swallow it all afterwards. But it was still nothing like the fantasy. There was no connection except for the genitals, and afterwards I just chalked it up to experience without the slightest desire for a repeat performance. In my late twenties, for many personal reasons, I tried to stop dressing and to put the girl on a shelf. And while it didn't work mentally, I was able to suppress the physical dressing part except for a few binges here and there, and even they stopped eventually. The fantasies didn't stop, though, if anything they'd gotten stronger, and they seem to have coalesced into one single fantasy - me, as a girl on her knees before a guy, making oral love to his cock - licking, sucking, my mouth being slowly fucked, him moaning, getting tense, and then erupting in my mouth, his cum blasting my throat, covering my tongue, and finally being swallowed and sliding down my throat. The emergence of the Internet began, I got a PC and a connection, and I discovered bulletin boards, followed by text only chat rooms, which in the beginning were either gay or straight. So I would go into the chat rooms as a woman and have cyber sex - I'd find a guy in the room and type to him about what I'd be doing to his cock if I were there, describing in detail how my lips would slide up and down his shaft as my tongue licked his cockhead, he'd type back describing how it felt (which was, of course, how his hand felt on his cock at that moment, while he was typing back with his other hand. I'd type back how much I wanted his load of cum in my mouth, and eventually he'd type back something like 'oooooooooooo' just before he shot his load under his computer desk. Then he'd usually just disappear, presumably to clean up. But after awhile this got played out, and I think most people became aware that virtually all the girls in the chat rooms were guys playing games. As the internet technology improved and pictures became commonplace, the TG exposure on the web took off, and I started reading about, and emailing to, a lot of other girls like myself - and for the first time in my life realized that I wasn't the strange anomaly I'd thought I was. The girl returned with a vengeance. I was back out in the world, meeting others similar to me for the first time in my life, and started going out again. But this time it was completely different, going out as a girl became social instead of solitary, and the sexual fantasies took a backseat. I'd meet friends and we'd go out to places that were transgender friendly, but these places were basically gay bars. Gay men really aren't interested in transgender girls - they want a man who looks like a man - so my girl social life stayed strictly social. Then, one of the girls heard about a club in the city that was strictly transgender oriented. Part 2 - First Cum One Saturday in early spring of 1998, a few of us decided to go to the city on a Saturday night and check out this club we'd heard about. So we all met late afternoon and rented a motel room across the river. I got to the room last, said Hi! to the other two girls, and began to get ready for the night. I shaved my face really close, and trimmed my leg hairs and armpits with a clipper - I was still fairly early into my re-emergence and hadn't yet made the commitment to fully shaving my legs and armpits. I tweezed the stray hairs in my eyebrows, but they also weren't shaped into the girly style they'd soon become. But, luckily, I'm not a hairy person to begin with so the overall effect wasn't too bad. I put on a pair of waist shaping panties as I still had a few (but not many) pounds to go on my diet, and 2 pairs of pantyhose, a heavy beige pair first, followed by a sheer black pair - and what hair was still on my legs was completely unnoticeable. I finally slipped on a black bra, inserted my brand new silicone enhancers, and sat down at a desk in the room to put on my makeup. I started first with the foundation, and as I hadn't yet discovered dermablend, I used a concealer stick on the heavier beard areas, followed by a full coverage cream makeup, and topped off with a matching powder - the effect was pretty good, but as I was already discovering, it wouldn't hold up for long periods of time like dermablend would. I lined the upper and lower lids with liquid black eyeliner, and put on 3 heavy coats of black mascara. Then put on eye shadow, a blue pink combination from one of those 4 color palettes, and blended the colors together. I used some pencil on my brows to help define them a little, but didn't do too much there. I brushed a plum blush onto my cheekbones, and lined my lips and applied a bright fuchsia lipstick. I slipped a black crushed velvet long sleeve dress over my head, and put on a few pieces of jewelry, all costume. A thick goldtone rope chain necklace, a matching bracelet, and large gold clip on earrings, which started to hurt the minute they were clipped on. And finally I pulled on my wig - a dark brown long straight style with full bangs that almost covered my eyebrows. Everybody else was just about ready, so I stuck some things in my black plastic purse, slipped into a pair of cheap black plastic pumps, and though it was very cold outside, I still hadn't found a woman's coat yet, so we ran from the room to the car and I shivered till the heat came on. We headed for the city, sat in a lot of traffic going over, and by the time we got up to the club it was 9 PM, and though the club really wasn't yet opened, the restaurant that sponsored the club was, so we were able to go inside and get a drink at the bar. The three of us got a drink at the bar, which was almost empty, with just a few lingering straight couples having a post dinner drink. And the people who ran the club were running around, rearranging tables and stuff, and setting up a sound system, to make the restaurant more conducive to a club atmosphere. Soon people started showing up, and I'd look over every now and then and see a few T girls walk in, then maybe a guy, but I wasn't really paying much attention. But during the next hour or so the place started filling up, the music came on, and the lights dimmed a little. My friends saw a few girls they knew and went over to talk to them and I stayed at the bar to finish my drink. And when I looked around the club again I had a very strange feeling. It was almost like I was in a typical singles bar, except there were more girls than guys. The room was getting packed, most of the girls were standing around the bar in small groups, and most of the guys were standing back against the wall, watching. Almost every time I looked over there were some guys checking me out and trying to make eye contact. Then a guy sat on the stool next to mine and ordered a drink, and asked if he could buy me one. I said sure, and we started talking. He was a lawyer from the suburbs and had trained in, and told me he was hoping to meet a nice girl like me to take to a hotel somewhere for fun. He was very cute, actually, but it was way too soon and I was still trying to get used to the idea of a TG singles bar. And I had come into the city with friends and wasn't in a situation where I could leave for a hotel, even if I had been ready. So he eventually moved on to another girl. As the night went on, though, every time I looked up there were a few guys looking my way trying to catch my eye. And when I got up to get in line the ladies room, guys were lined up along the wall trying to make conversation. The whole situation was almost too much, all my life I'd fantasized about finding a guy to suck off, and maybe more, and I'd just about given up the thought that it would ever be a reality. Yet here I was, in a club filled with guys, as the object of their attention. Many of the guys seemed very shy and just stood there staring at me, afraid to make an approach, but quite a few were forward and came right up and started a conversation. But every one I talked to either got there by public transportation, had a line of bullshit that totally turned me off, or was not at all physically attractive for some reason or other (and as a person who has never been attracted to men from a physical standpoint, my standards of physical beauty in a guy were not that high). My friends were totally caught up in socializing with other girls, but I was sort of just in a daze, almost like a kid in a candy shop, but the candy cases all seemed to be closed. I found myself off to the side at one point, just observing, when I happened to look across the room and spotted a guy totally focused on me. He was very attractive, 6', black hair just slightly gray at the temples, a neat mustache, brown eyes, and solidly built with little or no fat. I found myself staring back, and we locked eyes, and he started walking through the room towards me. When he got to me, our eyes were still locked, and without saying a word we kissed, the first time I had ever kissed a guy on the lips. We stood there touching tongues, and almost unconsciously I reached down and put the palm of my hand against his zipper, felt his half hard cock, and begun to slowly rub it. I was definitely in a fog, and when we stopped kissing he looked into my eyes and said 'I have a car out front', and without another word being said he reached down, took my hand, and I followed him towards the door and out. His car was directly across the street, a small hatchback without a console, and he opened the passenger door for me, I got in, and he went around and got into the drivers seat. I leaned over to kiss him again, feeling completely like a girl, and as we kissed he reached down, opened his zipper and belt, and slid his pants and boxer shorts down a little. I looked down at his cock and without even thinking I bent my head down and took him in my mouth. It felt and tasted so right, and I began to gently suck and lick, but just a few seconds later he said 'people are coming, sit up' - and when I did I noticed there were people walking up the street. I waited for them to pass, leaned over for a quick kiss, and was back down in his lap, my lips around his cock. As I sucked him, he was talking, asking me if I liked being a cocksucking girl and things like that, and I was loving that. A few minutes later he gently pulled my head off him, and I sat up again as some more people passed. Then, before I could bend down again, he asked if he could fuck me. When I said 'Where?' he said 'We'll put the seat back, you can lay on your side facing the drivers seat, and I'll come around and get in your side and put it up your ass sideways' Honestly, I wasn't into being fucked anywhere, I was really dying for a mouthful of cum, but I definitely wasn't going to do it on a street in a small car like that, and told him so. He seemed kind of disappointed, but OK with it, and as I leaned over to get him back in my mouth, he said 'OK, I'll feed you a mouthful of cum instead, that's what you really want isn't it?' and I sort of moaned around his cock. He had leaned back and pulled his slacks a little further down, and I was leaned over his lap and was licking his cockhead and sucking, and began to move my lips up and down his shaft. All of a sudden, though, he grabbed the back of my head and grunted a few times as he help my mouth in place and thrust 4 times in and out of my throat and on the 4th thrust he held his cock in my throat and began to cum. I started gagging and he let go, and I was able to slip my lips back out to his cockhead as his cum flowed into my mouth. I kept sucking and licking as he spurted a few more times onto my tongue, and I tried to milk out last drop. And once he was done I began to roll his cock juices around my mouth with my tongue, licking it against the roof of my mouth, and finally swallowed it. I finally sat up, but when I started to lean towards him for a kiss he turned away and said 'I have to go' So I said 'Fine', pulled own my skirt, quickly put on some lipstick, and got out without a word. I walked across the street towards the club as he pulled away, and headed inside, where I went right into the ladies room. The mouthful of cum had been really cool, and while it was happening the throat fucking hadn't been nice at all, but looking back it was kind of cool also. My first time hadn't been exactly what I'd hoped, but everyone has to start somewhere, I guess. And the fun was just starting....... Part 3 - Endings All stories have to end, and I've come to the end of this one with Part 6. My tale is told, and anything I write going forward (if I decide to do so) will be fiction - and I don't honestly know if I have the imagination or inclination for that. But we'll see..... I hope you liked the story, and please write me if you did. jennyjamestg@hotmail.com