Date: Sat, 9 Jan 2010 13:45:11 -0800 (PST)
From: Chuck Hughes <k56gh76@yahoo.com>
Subject: Learning to Please - part 1

If you are not 21 or over do not go any further.  If you do not like man on
man sex go no further.


This is the true story of how I arrived in blissful situation where I live
the life of a happily married, white collar, suburban husband and father
while occasionally serving a woman's role to service a male lover secretly.

I'm 37 years old and have been living this double life for 2 years now.
Although I experimented with homosexually when I was younger, for the 14
years of my marriage I've repressed any activity to simple fantasy and
internet porn.  Then a few years ago I felt myself being drawn more and
more to gay thoughts and desires.  My fantasies turned more to being a
"bottom", being a "sissy", "being "submissive" and providing sexual relief
for another man.  Using my hands, mouth and ass as a woman does to please a
"man" - to release his seed, expecting nothing in return.

Prior to this, my gay real life experience was very brief and limited to
rushed, awkward, anonymous encounters at rest stops, gay bar pickups when
out of town for business and the like.

Here's how it started...

My first gay experience was during my senior year in college.  I was tall
and slim and would have been classified as a "preppy" type.  Although I was
clean cut and nice looking, I was very awkward and nervous with girls and
did not have any luck dating.  I also (like a lot of college kids) had very
little money for taking girls out, and was treading water in a engineering
program and working too damn hard to graduate in 4 years.  I didn't have
time for girls and figured that would work itself out once I graduated and
I had a job and free time for a life...

However, I did start having some gay thoughts - which were accelerated by
the Village Voice newspaper.  The Voice had a great listing of all the NYC
clubs and ads showing what bands were playing where.  This section of the
paper was circulated widely in the dorm for planning weekend forays into
the city.  One day I was killing time between classes at the library and
picked up the latest edition of the Voice - and found that there was also a
section in the back that listed personal ads.  This was my first time
reading gay and lesbian personal ads and I was blown away.  Some of them
were quite graphic and tantalizing.  They offered "blow and go" and "no
recip needed" whereas on the opposite page there were the straight ads for
"long term commitment" and "relationship" situations requiring "marriage
minded" and "financially secure" which I was far from.

Although I didn't have a girlfriend, I did have a rampant sexual need which
was satiated with daily j/o sessions.  During my first semester at college
I got terrible grades.  Aside from the workload, I explained to my parents
about how difficult it was to study - my roommate was a goof off and the
door was revolving with noisy visitor after noisy visitor.  I was fortunate
that my parents paid the extra money so I could have a single room.  My
grades improved greatly and a side benefit was that I had the ability to
jerk off whenever I wanted.

I found myself occasionally fantasizing about being blown by a guy in a
"blow and go" scenario.  I privately wrestled with the morality of it.  On
one hand it seemed so dirty and wrong.  On the other hand - it seemed like
a perfect honesty: 2 guys being honest with each other, both of them being
into it and getting what they want with no strings or hassles.  It wasn't
like misleading some "marriage minded" girl on a date.  It also had an
attraction as being something private and secretive.  I had to give it a
try.

I rented a mailbox at the nearby post office.  I started to buy the Voice
once a week and pour through the personal ads in the privacy of my room.  I
found myself gravitating toward older men, thinking I could trust them more
than kids my age with my privacy concerns.  I also thought that they'd be
less inclined to make fun of my thin, non muscular body or my small, thin
cock.  I clipped out the ads that interested me and after a few weeks I had
a small pile of ads to reply to.  One Saturday I sat down and hand wrote my
responses - very brief, just saying my basic stats and that I was not
outright gay but wanting to try, looking for privacy and discretion, etc.

I got responses from all of them, but one I liked more than the others.  He
was in his 40's and lived in Queens.  He included a photo of himself
wearing a suit, sitting in an armchair looking bored - at some sort of
family function.  It was enough for me to see that he was a big, bear
shaped guy - which was quite a turn on for me.  He had nice handwriting and
sounded cool.  He also included his phone number encouraging me to call
anytime and we could try to get together.  The next Friday night I called
from a pay phone off campus but only got his answering machine.  I decided
not to leave a message and hung up.  Late on Saturday morning I got up the
courage to call him again.  I almost couldn't talk and was so nervous when
he answered the phone with a deadpan "Hello?".  I haltingly introduced
myself and he seemed to brighten as he remembered me.

After a minute of talking he suggested that we could get together today and
see if we hit it off.  I told him I was coming from Hoboken and he offered
that we could meet halfway in Manhattan or I could take the train out to
Queens and we could meet and go for a cup of coffee, or lunch just to talk.
I told him I liked the idea of coming out his way and he gave me
directions.  He would meet me at the street level - he'd be in a silver New
Yorker.  We agreed on a time and said goodbye.

My mind was racing, I was nervous but horny and excited at the same time.
I jogged back to my dorm and took a shower - taking extra care to clean
'down there', and 'back there', not having any idea where things would end
up.  I dressed in jeans, button down shirt, sneakers and wore the beige
windbreaker I told him to recognize me by.

I got off the train at his station and looked around.  I saw what looked
like the car and started tentatively walking toward it.  There was someone
behind the wheel and he flashed the headlights which confirmed my thoughts.
As I approached I saw it was him and as I walked up he reached over and
unlocked the passenger door, which I took as a signal to join him.  I
opened the door and looked across the seat at him.  He looked very much the
same as he did in the picture, except he wasn't wearing a tie.  I nervously
asked if he was Howard - he smiled and said "Yes, why don't you come in -
we can drive someplace if you want".  As I got in we shook hands and he
started with small talk about the trip in, the weather.  Then he pulled
over to the curb asked what I wanted to do...and let the question hang
there.  I felt myself blush as I stammered that I really didn't know, I've
never, you know, like done this.  He said he thought it would help if we
 just talked for a while - was I hungry did I want to go out for a late
lunch?  Perhaps I'd be more comfortable if we just drove around and talked?
I said yes to driving around - I had butterflies in my stomach and couldn't
think of eating or drinking anything.

As we drove he talked about himself and did a very good job of asking
questions to draw me in carefully.  He came across as a normal, regular
guy.  He said he dated women from time to time, but was having difficulty
finding the right one.  He asked if I wanted to go into the city to hang
out at a real gay bar.  I wasn't ready for that I mentioned how nervous I
was, and that although it seemed unlikely I was afraid someone I knew would
see me, going in, coming out of, or 'heaven forbid' actually inside a gay
bar!  He was very cool about it - said that he felt a little too old for
those places and preferred to keep his privacy.  He suggested that maybe we
could go back to his place and hang out.  I thought that would be a good
step further and agreed.

He drove to his apartment, parked and I walked up with him.  It was a nice
apartment complex in a nice looking neighborhood When we got in it was
clear that the bachelor wasn't expecting company - the place was a mess -
stacks of laundry, dishes piled in the kitchen and on end tables in the
living room.  He quickly apologized and moved a few piles of stuff around
as he took my drink order.  I sat on the couch and he sat in a reclining
chair in the living room.  I noticed a stack of porno movies and commented
on it - he asked if I'd like to watch one and I said 'sure'.  He got up and
put one in and then he closed the blinds making the room quite dim.  We
were watching for a few moments talking back and forth about the action -
then he asked if he could join me on the couch.  I looked over at him - he
had taken his suit jacket off and was partly reclined back.  Even though
the room was dim, I could see that his trousers were tented up covering a
 huge hard-on.  I said yes and self consciously slide over a little to make
room and pretended to watch the movie.  As he sat down he started to touch
me.  He leaned in and nuzzled and kissed my neck and told me to relax.  His
hands were much larger than mine and as we kissed he unbuttoned my shirt
and reached in to caress one of my nipples.  As he leaned against me I felt
his thick cock against me and reached down to stroke it through his
pants. He whispered that I was hot and that he wanted to see my body.  I
felt like putty in his hands, my head was spinning, my cock was throbbing
and I liked the feeling of being in the arms of this big man.  I wanted to
see him naked, to see that huge cock of his.  He got up and lead me to the
bedroom by my hand.

I undressed myself and he did the same.  I took in the sight in front of
me.  He was taller than me, probably 6'-2" and thick around the chest and
belly - but not flabby.  He had a huge nut sack hanging and what looked
like 8 or 9 inches of thick circumcised cock sticking straight out.  My
thin 5'10" frame with 145 pounds on it seemed tiny in comparison .  My 5
inch cock was erect and standing straight up.  As he came over to me I
couldn't help gasp that his cock was huge.  He took me into a gentle
embrace and we stood there for a moment holding and stroking each other. He
reached down and gave my small nut sack a little jingle.  He turned me
around and pulled me into a hug with my back pressed against him.  I
started to panic thinking that he was going to ram his monster up my hole
standing there, but instead he ran his hands over my body, tickling and
exciting me.  He played with my nipples and nibbled my ear as I leaned back
against him and
 stroked his cock which was against my hip.

Both his hands came down from my chest, slowly tracing their way along my
sides, to my hips, cupping down under my ass cheeks.  He squeezed my ass
cheeks as I leaned back against him, stroking his cock.  His hands parted
my ass and I felt his fingers gently brush against my puckered hole.  He
whispered into my ear, asking if I wanted to lay down on the bed, I gasped
out a yes and he led me over to his king size bed.  In a moment he was on
top of me, I was laying on my back and he was pressed up against me.  He
asked me to reach down and hold his cock and as I did he started pumping,
making his cock glide along my abs and through my hands.  He started to
really buck with incredible power.  He was wheezing and in ecstasy but he
kept pounding away.  His full weight was on me and I could hardly move as
he pumped away.  I was confused and a little disappointed.  I thought he
was going to fuck me but he seemed content to rub off against me.  I was
 also scared because my virgin hole was not ready for a cock as big as his
and his thrusting was so powerful it was frightening.

His strong grip and ramming was practically knocking the wind out of me.
After a few long minutes he started grunting out for me to "hold him".
"Hold me, hold me!"  He was so powerful and also so needy.  I pulled my
hands out from between us and brought them around his torso, gently
stroking his back and his ass and the backs of his thighs.  I brought my
knees up and brought my feet out and behind his legs.  In this way I
started to rock with him as he thrust into me.  I whispered to him "I'm
here baby, you got me".  He grunted and thrust his cock in between us in a
few long jabs and I knew he was cumming.  He collapsed on me and laid
still.  I stroked his back and let him catch his breath.  He must have
sensed that he was suffocating me, because he move his knees up and shifted
some of his weight there, gulping air and catching his breath as he
remained over me, panting and sweating.

We held each other and I felt very content - I knew he blew his load and
needed to rest and I was happy to lay there smoothing my hands down his
back.  After a while he rolled to one side and propped himself up with one
arm to look at me.  He admired my body below his and I was shocked at the
quantity of thick white cum covering my belly and chest.  He started to run
his finger through it and trace shapes on my body, like he was painting me
with it.  I reached out with a finger to join him, but he stopped me.  "No
- don't touch that" he said firmly.  "I haven't been tested in a while".  I
froze in absolute terror.  He added "if you want we can get tested together
and then you can suck down every drop".  He probably meant this as a
compliment but I was horrified...in the throes of passion I had stopped
thinking about safe sex and here I was covered in this strangers cum.

He went to the bathroom and came back with a towel and wiped me down.  He
sat beside me and started stroking my cock and my nipples.  He produced a
tube of gel which he used to get my cock all slick..  As one hand was
pumping my shaft quite expertly the other was tickling my nuts and rubbing
against my rosebud.  He was trying to get me hot but I was too freaked out
about the cum and aids thoughts going through my head that I remained soft.
I touched his hand gently and told him "That's OK, I really just wanted to
get you off...one of my nuts go squished back when you were thrusting away
and I'm still a little sensitive".  He stopped and apologized and we
laughed about it.  He looked down at me and rested a hand on my hip.  "You
seem so nice and young - I really wanted to get my cock into you, but I
felt that tiny hole of yours and knew that I'd hurt you.  You are so hot
and that soft little ass of yours is cute - I'd love to my cock in there
and
 give you my cum when you're ready for it."  I beamed up at him, his appeal
to my vanity was working and I felt like he really appreciated having me
there.  I told him that I'd like that, and laughed about how I was afraid
that his huge cock would split me.  He leaned down and kissed me.

I thought we might be heading into a second round, so I asked hesitantly if
he had a condom.  I was shocked when he said "Yes, but I'm not into
ass-play or anything messy, so you're going to need to work that asshole of
yours loose or maybe come back after you'd had some dildo practice".  I
felt like I had just gotten dumped!  It seemed like every emotion flooded
through my body in the last two hours and I was confused and mentally
spent.  He started talking about getting me a dildo so next time I saw him
my 'pussy' was ready for him.  He was stroking my leg and I noticed his
cock was starting to stand back up.  As he sat beside me on the edge of the
bed he brought a hand up to one of my breasts and started squeezing very
softly, lovingly.  He brought his head down and started to kiss and suckle
the nipple.  I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax and enjoy the
feeling.  As he tapered off he moved he mouth to my neck, kissing and
 nibbling.  He whispered to me "when we were on the couch and i touched
your nipple for the first time you whimpered, and I knew you wanted me to
be your man".  I took his cock in my hand and gave it a squeeze and a
stroke.  It was thick enough that I couldn't close my fingers around it.
As I stroked him pre cum started to leak out and I rubbed it around the
head.

He looked down at me stroking him and said "You are so hot baby, I want you
to roll over so I can titty fuck your soft ass".  I grinned up at him and
asked in a mock sweet voice "are you going clean me up when your done?" as
I moved into the center of the bed.  I rolled over and laid flat on my
stomach and looked over as he rummaged for the lube.  He started lubing and
jacking his cock and he told me to lift my ankles and slightly spread my
legs to give him access and the view he wanted.  I felt so vulnerable and
was so embarrassed I buried my face in the sheets and covered my head with
my arms.  I felt the bed shift with his weight as he made his way up behind
me.  His two hands were on my ass, spreading me open and I knew he was
looking at my rosebud, thinking about putting his cock in me.

I felt cold lube landing on my crack and felt him move his body closer,
with his knees up against my thighs.  His thick shaft landed between my
cheeks and he started rubbing back and forth.  I felt submissive beneath
him, I was being used for his pleasure.  It was a surprising turn on and I
felt my cock getting hard from the movement of my own body against the
bed..  I was amazed with how good this felt - I started the day thinking
I'd get getting a blow job and here I was being used as the fuck toy.  He
started pounding away wildly and calling out that he needed me, I felt so
good..  I whispered back "I'm here for you baby, my ass is for you, give me
that powerful dick" hoping that the slutty talk would help him know that I
was enjoying him.  He grunted and I felt liquid spurting onto the small of
my back.

He collapsed beside me on the bed staring up at the ceiling, gasping for
air.  I reached over and smoothed the hair on his chest and felt his heart
racing.  "Thank you baby, that felt great to me, I loved feeling you on me
like that".  I rubbed his chest and neck as he relaxed and closed his eyes.

After a few moments he held my hand and looked over at me.  He asked if I
was ready for him to 'take care of me'.  "No, I'm happy that we got you off
twice, that was really great".

He rolled toward me and gave me a kiss.  "You are the best lay I've had in
a long time" he said as he moved my hand down to his nut sack.  "Hold these
gently for me" he whispered into my ear.  "After we get tested I'm gonna
give you my cum to taste".

I felt myself blush and snuggled against him.  He laughed lightly and
nibbled me ear.  "You'd like that wouldn't you baby?"  he prodded.

"Yes" I heard myself say with a gentle rub to his sack.

After a while he got up and cleaned my back off with a towel.  As we got
dressed he politely offered to take me out to dinner, I declined.  I was
overwhelmed and needed to get away and think about everything that just
happened.  I was so confused with everything - my passive role, the joy I
had in pleasing another man, the AIDS testing, my actually wanting a cock
in my ass!

He drove me back to the train station and we said our goodbyes in the car.
I felt like we were out 'in public' and didn't want to be too affectionate.
I think he sensed that so he reached over and massaged my neck with his
closest hand.  He told "I really had a lot of fun, if you want to get
together call me and let's do it.  It doesn't just have to be sex, we could
go out to a movie, or a concert or a Yankee game if you want.  But don't
get me wrong - the sex was great and you are a hot little piece of tail.
You can be my girl anytime."

I blushed a 'thank you' and told him I had a great time.  He smirked and
said "I had a great time, and don't feel funny about wanting to help
another guy get off.  Some guys are like that -wanting to be a bottom for
their man.  I'm cool with that, hell I love it.  Now I know you didn't cum
this time - if you don't want to cum that's ok too.  If we're going to see
each other again you have a say in what we do - I want to make sure your
happy too."

His hand moved up from my shoulder to the back of my neck.  I was beat red
with embarrassment as I looked over at him.  "I, I liked doing what we did,
you know, getting you off.  It made me feel good, knowing that I was
helping you.  I really liked being beneath you, under your body.  It was
much more intimate than just a blow and go.  I wouldn't mind doing more,
you know, like that.  As long as we're clean and safe I'd enjoying getting
you off more...and it's not important to get me off.."

"Good" he said, "and next time jerk off I want you to think of me being on
top of you, and slipping my cock into your ass.  When you're ready for it I
want you to loosen that hole of yours up.  If you're able to take my cock
I'd love to mount your hot ass and fuck you like a prom queen."  I laughed
and blushed "OK Howard, it'll probalby be a while before I can take a cock
like yours, but I'll work on it."

We shook hands goodbye and as I slid out of the car.  As I walked to the
train platform I felt overhelmingly sexy.  I knew he was watching me; I
knew he was thinking about our next visit; I knew our little chat had given
him a new hard-on and he'd probably be jerking off thinking of me.

I knew I needed to gather my thoughts and figure out what the next step
would be.  I had his number.

End part 1