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Fresh Outta Tuck -*- Copyright 1998 by Ellen Hayes.

Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual
persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex.  If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this.  I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally
allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish,
state, and country.

All rights reserved.  See the bottom for distribution rights.


Fresh Outta Tuck


***
07:04 17 May

     I woke up chuckling, thinking of the money I was going to be making
at a certain convention in just a few weeks.  And a party.  And
babysitting.  And my last babysitting class today.  And finals next
week.
     I groaned and rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.  Life
sucked.

***
08:22 17 May

     "Hello?"  It sounded like Rachel was kind of rushed.
     "Rachel?  It's Tuck."
     "Tu- oh, hi.  Um, what's up?"
     "I wanted to tell you, I can't make it today, until maybe late, but
if you're still moving tomorrow or something..."

***
09:08 17 May

     "Dad, look," I tried to convince him, "you can call her if you
think I'm gonna skip, okay?"
     "Well, why-"
     "Dad, I need to start taking charge of my life, okay?  I'm tired of
being pushed around by everyone and everything, like I was three years
old or something.  I can drive; you don't need to see her; I figured I
could drive myself and then you wouldn't have to."  And I didn't want
either of them around.

***
10:07 17 May

     "Are you sleeping alright?" Sheila asked.
     I shrugged.  "I guess.  Mostly, anyway."
     "Are you staying up too late?  Sometimes you can over-extend
yourself and not have enough time to take care of your other needs."
     I needed to get rid of Nickerson, I needed to set up the music for
a party so I could have fun, I needed to study, I needed a job, I needed
to take all these classes to get this job, I needed to help Rachel move,
I needed to plan a trip so I could get some money because I needed a
car...

***
10:54 17 May

     I sat in the car, and tried to calm down enough to remember how to
drive.  This had been sort of a bad session.  At least, I hurt so bad
inside that I wanted to curl up in a little ball and stay there.  I got
the impression that that was a bad sign.

***
11:22 17 May

     "Deb?"  My throat hurt.
     "Tuck?"  She instantly sounded worried.  "What's wrong?"
     "I need you," was all I could say.

***
11:47 17 May

     "Feel better?" she asked gently.  I just nodded against her
shoulder.  She squeezed me tighter.

***
12:04 17 May

     It was a little cool, but I guess not too bad.  I was hoping the
sun would come out, until I realized how bad I was going to sunburn if
it did.  Even if I was wearing a T shirt over my shorts.
     Debbie, of course, looked completely awesome.  Especially when she
peeled off her shirt, leaving a bikini top, looked over her shoulder at
me, and smiled, "Do my back?"

***
20:18 17 May

     "Oh, Bog," I moaned, "I am so tired..."
     "Poor baby," Debbie said, without a lot of sympathy.
     "Deb!" I whined.
     She looked at me, and half her mouth quirked up.  "Sorry, sweetie.
I know you're tired.  Me too."
     I switched from holding her hand, to snuggling against her.
     After a while, during which I meditated upon the side of her neck,
she asked me, "Do you want to call Rachel and see if she needs any help
tonight?"

***
20:21 17 May

     "Rachel?"
     "Huh?"  She sounded kind of panicked.
     "Rachel, it's Tuck, remem-"
     "Oh!  Yeah.  Um.  Hi."
     "Are you still moving, 'cause we can help, if you need anything..."
     "Um."  It sounded sort of like she was looking around.  Finally,
she came back to the phone.  "Um, no, thanks," I shook my head for
Debbie's benefit, "I'm giving it up for tonight."
     "Um, tomorrow morning, maybe?"
     She sighed.  "Yeah, that'd be okay.  Um, thanks, really, for
calling and offering and talking to your friends and everything, it's
been a help..."  She sort of ran out, and stopped talking.
     Pause.
     I put my hand over the microphone and told Debbie, "I think she
needs to pump up her blood sugar - she sounds wasted."
     "Gimme the phone," she ordered as she yanked it out my hand.
"Rachel?  It's Debbie, yeah, hi...  Well, we were wondering if you
wanted some food or something?"

***
21:19 17 May

     "Oh, God, it has just been insane!" Rachel complained, holding her
head in her hands.  "Finals last week, and then I have to move out by
Monday!  It's just, I..."  She took a deep breath.
     "You look like you're losing your mind," I commented.  Debbie
kicked me, hard, under the table, but Rachel just nodded absently.

***
21:46 17 May

     "Anyway, this is the place," Rachel said as she stuck the key in
the door.  It was a nice looking townhome.
     "Who're your roommates again?" Debbie asked as we walked in and
Rachel looked for a light switch.
     "Um, you remember when we all ended up watching that band?  I was
with Terri and Dave, remember?"  She found the switch and lit the place.
It already looked fairly organized.  "Dave's been working hard to get
everything set up, since he got done with finals on Wednesday."  Debbie
and I both sighed.  Finals.

***
21:51 17 May

     "At least I got a lot of closet space," she said as we found
perches in her room.  There were a lot more signs of moving going on in
here than there was in the rest of the house.
     "Really?" Debbie asked.

***
21:53 17 May

     "Well, I've got this job, babysitting... remember I said DebbieCo
was really diverse?  Well, they do this babysitting thing, and I sat for
her during spring break-"
     "I remember," Rachel nodded.
     "So, Miz Parker, she said she wanted me to work the whole summer,
like all day while they were at work, sitting their seven year old boy
and their baby."
     "Um," Debbie said.  All the hair on my body stood up.  "She called
the other night..."

***
21:55 17 May

     "It's just four-"
     "Just FOUR?!  JUST four?!?!!"
     "Oh, come on!  I mean, it's not like it's all toddlers or
anything-"
     "Debbie, I REMEMBER being seven.  I remember what Mike and me could
get into when we were that age, okay?  There's no 'just' about it!  I'd
rather play with plutonium!"
     "Oh come on!  They're not that bad!"
     "How do you know?"
     "I sat for all three of them a year ago," she said sternly.  "They
weren't a problem."
     I glared at her.  "I'm not going to do it for just six an hour.
Not three kids and a baby.  No way."

***
21:56 17 May

     We walked back into Rachel's room.  I was already wondering if
seven fifty was enough.  Four kids...
     "Um," Rachel said, looking awkward.
     Pause.
     "I'll still need the space, I guess," I finally said.
     Debbie hugged me from the side, and kissed my ear.  "Thank you,"
she whispered.
     "For what?" Rachel asked.  "You never got to that part..."

***
21:58 17 May

     Rachel looked at both of us like we were crazier than she thought
she was.  I was kind of looking at Debbie the same way.  "Like, change
here every morning?"
     Debbie nodded.

***
22:01 17 May

     Rachel shrugged sideways.  "Sure, I guess so, why not?"
     "I guess," I agreed.  It WOULD solve the problem of where to change
every morning and evening.

***
22:12 17 May

     "You know," Debbie mentioned, "you're gonna have to go shopping a
few times, if you want to have enough clothes."
     I sighed, and was about to complain about hidden costs when she
added, "You know, maybe we could advance you something, on your weekly
salary I mean."
     "Oh..." Rachel mentioned, sort of at a loss.  "That's nice of you,"
she said finally.  I was still trying to think if it was a good deal or
not.  I mean, I loved the way Debbie dressed, but I also had an idea of
how much it cost, and I did NOT want to spend my entire wages this
summer buying clothes to look like her.  Besides, I was going to be
watching kids, so maybe it would be a good idea to go for something a
little more practical.  Like army fatigues.  Or a powered battlesuit.
     Finally, I spoke up, saying, "Well, Deb, I mean, I can't afford a
whole wardrobe or anything-"
     "I was thinking Goodwill or something like that," Debbie
interrupted.
     "I know a couple of resale shops," Rachel added.  "And I've been
meaning to go..."
     I had that sucked-down-a-whirlpool feeling again.

***
22:52 17 May

     "Busy weekend," I said, thinking more about next weekend than this
one.
     Debbie swerved around a pickup truck and agreed.  "Maybe I can find
some stuff for summer, too."
     "Like you need it."
     She glared at me.  "Trust me," she finally said.
     "Okay okay!" I protested.  "It just," flash of inspiration, "it
just seems to me that you look so gorgeous already, that if you do any
more I might just die of shock."
     She laughed at that, but she grabbed my hand, too, and squeezed.
     "Oh, hey, that reminds me," she mentioned.  "I need to get a better
car, something that looks nicer..."
     "Ooookay, so?"  I wished _I_ could get a car.  Any car.
     Debbie started saying exactly what I was thinking.  "So, if you're
going to be sitting, you need a car, and I need something that looks
nicer than this, and I have some money...  And I know you're going to be
working this summer...."

***
08:32 18 May

     "Nuh?"
     "'S Kim," Kim mumbled.  "Wan' breakfast?"
     Pause.
     "Jill up again?"
     "Uh huh."
     "'Kay.  Half an hour?"
     "Uh huh."
     "Get some coffee or somethin'."
     "Uh huh.  See ya."  She hung up.

***
08:54 18 May

     Back to girl clothes.  Under boy clothes.  I was glad Debbie had
worked out the deal with Rachel - it was going to be too hot to do this
double-layer thing much longer.

***
09:21 18 May

     I'd called Debbie, figuring the more the miserabler, or something
like that, and so all four of us were slurping on coffee or cokes and
picking at pastries.  Except Jill, who looked disgustingly perky.  In a
grungepunk sort of way.

***
10:32 18 May

     Debbie knocked on the door to Rachel's place, I hoped.  I stood
around and tried to think nice thoughts about moving.
     Finally, someone opened the door.  It happened to be a guy.
     "David?" Kim asked.

***
11:21 18 May

     Back at the Gay Cafe, while Rachel attempted a cold boot.  "He
said," she explained, "he said we should christen the place properly,
and he had a bottle of champagne..."
     That would explain why she looked like she had a hangover.

***
13:04 18 May

     The less said about moving, the better.  At least I'd worn a pair
of Sabrina's castoff jeans today, instead of something really nice
looking i.e. impractical as hell.
     The falsies got in the way, though.  I wondered how Debbie and
Rachel could manage with the damn things on their chests.

***
16:34 18 May

     "Thanks so much for helping," Rachel said as she hugged me and
Debbie.
     "No problem," Debbie said.  I was dreading going back home and
studying English.

***
17:01 18 May

     Mike sounded amazed.  "You're getting Debbie's car?"
     "Yeah, she says she needs something that looks nicer than what
she's got, which let's face it is not something your image-industry
professional should be driving," it looked better than Mike's, but then
most everything looked better than Mike's car.  Compost heaps, for
example.  "So, she said, if I'm working this summer, that I can pay her
back, like a car loan, and I already have like half-"
     "Tuck, you can't drive a stick shift," he pointed out.
     "I can too!  Mostly."  I'd done some on Susan's car, over the
Christmas break, before she left.  She claimed it never worked right
after that, but I knew she was lying.

***
17:22 18 May

     "So what was the symbolism?" I asked Pam.  She looked at me like I
was stupid.
     So much for going home.  But I was studying, at least.  Even if it
was in a party sort of atmosphere.  Sort of.  I glanced past Pam, and
Mike was ripping his hair out, undoubtedly because Sabrina and a couple
of other girls were trying his patience on math.

***
22:19 18 May

     "Eugene?"
     I sighed, and stopped.  "Yes, Mom?"
     She walked up and gave me a hug.  "Good luck on your final
tomorrow."
     "Thanks Mom."  Right now, sleep was in order.

***
06:25 19 May

     I had this horrible dream, where I was taking a final, and right
before I had to stand up to turn the final in, I realized I wasn't
wearing any pants.  But, if I didn't turn the final in, I'd fail the
class, which meant that I'd have to take it over the summer, which meant
I'd have to give up the babysitting job, which meant Debbie would be
pissed and I wouldn't have a car, and-
     And so it was sort of a relief when the alarm went off and I
realized where I actually was.

***
07:14 19 May

     "Want to drive it?" Debbie asked, grinning.
     "Uh, sure!"  Positive thinking.  Visualization.  Enthusiasm.
Confidence.  Clutch pedal.  No problem.

***
07:48 19 May

     "I think," she swallowed, "I think you need a little more
practice."
     "Yeah."  And some Dramamine.

***
09:18 19 May

     School was filled with groups of quiet desperate people, studying
frantically.  I happened to be in one of them.  "So what was the
symbolism?" I asked Pam again.  She rolled her eyes.

***
15:02 19 May

     The less said about English finals, the better.  I hated symbolism.

***
15:21 19 May

     "I think, I need to sit down for a minute," Debbie mentioned,
leaning out the side of her car.  "Maybe get something to drink..."
     "Uhhhhh, yeah, okay."  I just wanted to sit here for a minute.

***
16:31 19 May

     History, herstory, any story but the story of my life...

***
07:46 20 May

     "I think I'm getting better," I said optimistically.
     After a while, she admitted, "Yeah."  She felt her wrist for a
while.  "I don't think I need to go to aerobics today, though."
     "I didn't know you-"
     "Figure of speech."
     "Oh."

***
10:34 20 May

     "What the-"  I damped myself before anyone else could.  But what the
hell was the Payne-Aldritch- oh.  Yeah, that.  Okay.  I started to
scribble.

***
15:04 20 May

     "Tuck?"  I looked up from the depths of my locker, which I was
going to have to clean before the end of school.  "Tuck?" Debbie asked
again.
     "Yeah Deb?"
     "Um."  She looked at her feet.  "I was wondering if you could come
over and help me study for math tonight?"
     "Sure, no-  Come over?"  I had this sudden desire not to.
     She nodded.  "Mom said I need to spend more time at home studying."
     "You've been studying."
     She snorted.  "Tell my mom that."

***
15:08 20 May

     "I swear, she'll study, ma'am," I said into the phone.  I figured
extra politeness would do me good.
     "Valerie," I cringed inside when Helen called me that while I was
standing on the school grounds, "I'm not saying anything against you, I
just know how it is when two girls are together-"
     *Lady, you have no clue....*  "That's only when one of them doesn't
have a math final and the other one doesn't have chemistry.  Trust me,
we'll be studying until our eyeballs fall out."
     Helen laughed at that.  Debbie just rolled her eyes at me.

***
15:14 20 May

     "I don't know what the big deal is," she sulked.
     "Deb, I just, I just, I mean..."  I sighed.  "I, me, Eugene, would
like to spend some time with you.  Without having to worry about your
mom or my makeup or if I'm sitting right or-"
     She complained, "You don't have to worry-"
     "That's not the point!  Besides, I do worry, and I need to study,
and so do you, and I'd rather not do it around your mom.  She makes me
nervous.  Please?" I begged.
     The light turned green, which stopped all conversation as I tried
once again to start the car moving smoothly.  It almost worked this
time.

***
17:36 20 May

     Debbie sighed, and stretched, and rubbed her neck.  "Want me to do
that?" I asked, and she grinned at me.  As I got up, I asked, "Wanna
stay for supper?"
     She sighed.  "I think I still need to study."
     "We're studying!"  Well, we had been studying.  Now we were
massaging.
     "I know."  She nuzzled against my arms.  "I wish we weren't.  Oh,
that reminds me: do you want to come to a slumber party Friday night?"
     "Like...."
     "What?  Yeah, it's gonna be at Sabrina's, so you kinda have to,"
she said apologetically.  "If you want to come."
     "I guess."
     "You don't sound too enthusiastic," she observed.
     I rubbed her neck for a minute as I thought.  "I like hanging with
you, it's... it's the same thing with going over to your house tonight.
It's like, I have to do it the whole summer-"
     "You said you wanted that job, I just asked you bec-"
     "IknowIknowIknow!  I just, I mean, I'll be spending all day like
that, so I kind of want to spend more time like this.  If that makes any
sense."
     After a while, she said, "Yeah, kind of.  Oooh," she moaned happily
as I found the right spot.

***
18:17 20 May

     "I don't have finals," Brian felt it necessary to mention.  I just
rolled my eyes at Debbie.  Debbie smiled politely at me.  And winked.

***
09:31 21 May

     It was really too bad that the chemistry final didn't involve any
lab work.  I knew that Mike and Dan and I could really show what we had
learned about chemistry, even if most of it wasn't in class.  And, we
could almost certainly pull it off without killing anyone.

***
14:58 21 May

     "So, did you want to come over or not?" Sabrina asked.
     "Yeah, I guess..."
     She explained, "I just need to know so we can get food and stuff.
Mom offered, since it's the end of the year..."

***
18:19 21 May

     I lied, "Yeah, some kind of movie party, we wanted to watch all the
stuff we missed this week.  It's been kind of busy."  I ate some beets.
It had been busy.
     "So how are your finals coming?" Mom asked.  I sighed.  At least
they had said okay.

***
19:07 21 May

     I was about to beat a retreat into the cave when Mom called me
over.  I tried not to sigh out loud.  "Yeah Mom?"
     "Are you going to be at Mike's all night?"
     "Uh, yeah, probably."  Not.
     "You know you have a therapy appointment Saturday morning?" she
asked, giving me the Eye of Parental Inquiry.
     I'd managed to forget that little detail.  "Uh, yeah, um, I was
gonna get Mike to take me."
     She nodded.  "Well, let me give you a check..." she said while
digging in her purse.
     "You could just give me cash," I offered.
     She looked up at me, and gave me a smile as a reward for my wit.
"Nice try, Eugene, but no.  Besides, I don't have that much cash on me."
     It had been worth a shot.

***
19:11 21 May

     There was a tap tap tapping, quite insane periodic rapping, rapping
at my chamber door.  "Yes Mom?" I yelled.
     Silence.  She hated talking through doors, and she'd keep knocking
until I opened it.  I sighed.  Why can't she use the phone like everyone
else?
     "Yes Mom?" I said again when I opened the door.
     "Eugene, I just wanted to remind you that Amy's flight comes in
about one this Saturday, and it would be nice of you to be there at the
airport when she gets here."  Hint hint.
     "Oh.  Yeah, okay."

***
19:22 21 May

     "Yeah, I can go, they said."
     "Oh, cool," Sabrina replied, which kind of surprised me.  I guess I
sounded surprised, because she explained, "I, I mean, you're cool, okay?
For a geek," and she laughed a bit to lessen the blow before she shifted
the phone.  "Anyway, it's fun having you over."
     "Really?"
     "Yeah!"

***
21:04 21 May

     I was studying for German, when the phone flashed.  "Hallo?"
     "Tuck?"
     "Ja, I mean yeah Mike?"
     "The German's warping your brain, Tuck."  Like I didn't know that.
He got to the point.  "Didja ever get a copy of Nickerson's signature?"
     "Yyyyeaahhh, why?"
     "Oh, no reason.  Could you fax it over?"
     Pause while I tried to figure out what he was up to.

***
07:56 22 May

     "Resignation letter," Mike chuckled quietly.
     "Whaaaat?"  I was still a bit dazed from driving this morning.
     He glanced at me, and winked, and I finally caught it.  Oh, boy,
this was gonna be PRIME.
     Some girl looked really freaked when she heard both of us
chuckling, back in our throats the way Mike did it when he was being
evil.  Mike leered at her, and she almost ran off screaming.

***
13:21 22 May

     German final.  Wheeeeeee.  No, really.

***
15:26 22 May

     "Want to come in for a bit?" I asked.
     "Huh?  Um, yeah, okay..."  She staggered a little getting out of
the car, which I thought was completely unnecessary, since I was getting
better.  I could tell.

***
21:04 22 May

     I thought about it, and decided that a prudent and clever person
would pack a bag.  Since Brian was out of school already, the little
worm, it'd be smarter to do my changing elsewhere.
     Besides, the way these slumber parties went, I might end up in
Canada or something.  Best to be prepared.

***
01:29 23 May

     And yust ein bischen more vurk on ze Unterhaltungselektronik, fur
wahrend ze hitler youth rally morgen, und Herr Nickerson wird es noch
bereuen.
     Too much German, too little sleep, and too many electrons.

***
08:02 23 May

     Almost inevitably, the loudspeakers were blaring Alice Cooper
verbalizing all our hopes and prayers.
     "Schooooooooooooools, OUT. FOR. EVER!"

***
11:02 23 May

     And, the math final I hadn't bothered to study for.  There wasn't
much need.  Pre-Calc wasn't that hard.  I didn't know what was the
problem with the girls, except maybe that thing one of them was talking
about, about math and science bias, except I didn't see how it could
really affect their brains.  I mean, the class was at least half girls.
Even if all of them were older than me and Mike.  Some of them were even
seniors.
     Hmmm.

***
14:53 23 May

     Why we needed a "pep rally" on the last day of school, after
everyone was finally done with finals, I have no idea, besides the fact
that Nickerson would really have been happier gassing Jewish babies.
     Which is why Mike and I were providing the sound effects.
     "And so," Nickerson tried to say, and I thought the elephant fart
noise would be appropriate, so that's what I typed into the keypad.
     It was a definite hit with the younger generation.
     Nickerson was beginning to grind has teeth.  I looked on the
reference card for something appropriate, and I did have a dentist drill
noise, so I fed that one into the keypad.  He flinched.  So did a lot of
people.
     "Dump that one, Tuck," Mike whispered into my ear.
     Hmmm, maybe barking dogs....

***
15:07 23 May

     Most of the Pack were still laughing themselves sick as we all
gathered around Mike's car.  We all had a ride home.
     Nickerson, alas, did not.  And his license plates were not the ones
he had started the week with, so getting his car back from the towing
service, again, would be just that bit harder.
     Come to think of it, which I had carefully avoided doing until now
so I wouldn't spoil anything with extraneous noise, it was exceedingly
funny.

***
15:10 23 May

     "Deb, listen, I- meet me over at Mike's in an hour, okay?"  Dan had
come up with an astonishing sale item, and it couldn't wait.
     "What are you doing?" she demanded, almost stamping her foot at me.
It would have been cute if I didn't know what it meant.

***
15:48 23 May

     Debbie looked skeptically at all of us.
     "Trust me!" I told her, while Mike ran a quick check on the third
headset to make sure the microphone worked.
     I mean, you didn't find aviation type crew headsets very often.  So
when one of the local surplus shops has half a dozen of them in stock,
well, you don't just go idly to a girl's slumber party.

***
16:09 23 May

     "Can we go?" she insisted.
     I looked at her, and all it took was one instant to realize that
she was serious, and meant right now.  So I grabbed the spare filters
for my mask, and the two headsets I was buying, and headed over to the
register.

***
16:19 23 May

     "I don't see why we can't shop for me like we can for you," I
mentioned casually.
     "Because _I_ don't go shopping when WE have to be somewhere, Tuck!"
Uh oh.

***
16:36 23 May

     Sabrina opened the door, and gave me a funny look.  "Um, you need
to-"
     "I know, I know, I made us late, sorry..."  I grabbed the bag from
Debbie and ran upstairs to lock myself in the bathroom.

***
17:01 23 May

     I finally made it out, and Kathy snorted at me as she pushed past
me.  I snorted back, but she'd already shut the door.

***
17:04 23 May

     "No, look, see, it makes sense-"
     "I don't see why you need those things anyway," Kathy proclaimed.
     I sighed.  "You'll see."  Already, part of me wanted to be home,
scrabbling in the basement with a soldering iron.
     "Move over," said Kim, and pushed me sideways on the couch before
she plopped down next to me.  "Didja rent the stuff yet?"
     "For the party?"  She nodded.  "Tomorrow.  It's a lot of cash, up
front, and it's by the day, so I wanted to save as much as possible.
But it's reserved, anyway."  She nodded.  "So where is this place
anyway?"
     "My folks-" Kim started.
     "Her grandparents," Pam interrupted, "have this huge farm outside
town, and they've got this old barn, right?  So, they took a vacation or
something-"
     "So they won't complain about the noise," Kim added.
     "-so we have the farm and the barn to ourselves."  Pam looked
excited at the idea.  I would too, I guess, if I could dance like she
did.  "And we can crank it up as loud as we want!"
     "Speaking of which," I turned to Kim again, "do you know what kind
of electrical system the, uh, barn has?"  She gave me a peculiar look.
"We're potentially talking a lot of wattage here, and it might blow
fuses if the wiring is old or something."  Or set the barn on fire, but
I didn't think it would be reassuring to mention that little detail.
     "Uh.  I dunno!" she complained.  Relief flashed across her face.
"Wait, it's got those funny plugs, like for dryers?  Clothes dryers?"
     "220?"
     "Huh?"
     "Never mind."  I'd have to see if I could scrounge up a few 220 to
110 adaptors, and- oh, hell, I was going to need a transformer, too.
Shit.  Maybe...  "Three phase?  Never mind," I said without waiting for
an answer.  "Are they there tonight?"
     "Who?"  She was sounding really baffled by now.
     "Your grandparents!  Jeez, get with, already."  She poked me in the
ribs.

***
17:08 23 May

     "Heellllllooooooo!"
     "Hi Mike, it's me."
     "Is this the Val me or the geek me?"
     "What?  It's Valerie, jerk.  Listen, I need a favor-"
     "After calling me a jerk?"
     "Shut up Mike!  We NEED you," I stressed before he could complain
about something else, "to go out to the party site and scout it,
especially for the electrical load."
     "Where is it?"
     "Um.  Kim said she'd take you..."
     "Oh.  Okay.  Hold on."  I held.  "Okay," he said finally, "what ya
need to know?"
     "Wiring, amps in the breaker box, if there's any 220 volt lines in
there, and if it's three phase or not."
     "If it's 220, I'd guess it is."
     "Yeah, but you know what happens when you assume."  He snorted.
"Anyway, um, check out the area, figure a couple of square meters for
four speaker stacks, plus, oh, two by two or maybe larger in the middle
front for the DJ station."
     "You don't want it off in the corner?"
     "Nah, that's for the speakers..."  Sabrina was mouthing something
at me, and I finally deciphered, "Geek!"  I called her a penis eating
old ugly dog in sign language.  She looked puzzled.  Good.  "Um," I said
to Mike, "anyway, no.  I want to be as far away from those speakers as I
can get.  By the way, can you-"
     "Fix some headsets by tomorrow?"
     "Yeah."
     "Me and Dan are working on it while we watch Ranma 1/2.  That
reminds me, Tuck, have you ever considered that your problem might be
related to cold wat-"
     "Fuck you Mike!"

***
17:12 23 May

     "So are we staying here or what?"
     "We were thinking about going out to dinner," Sabrina mentioned.
"Oh, God, we're out of SCHOOL!"  She grabbed my shoulders. and we danced
a little at the thought.
     "SUMMERTIME GIRLS!" sang Kim, and she and Pam started laughing like
lunatics.

***
17:19 23 May

     "Whaddaya mean, I gotta change?  I just did!" I complained.  I
flapped the skirt of my jumper at her for emphasis.
     "Tuh- Val, listen, we're going to a NICE place for dinner," Sabrina
explained, in this really patient voice that probably worked very well
on single-digit-aged children.  "So you need to dress up."
     "Oh, but-"
     "I'll loan you something!"
     I rolled my eyes at the thought.
     "Oh, come on," Debbie protested.  "We're out of school, no more for
the whole summer, it's time to celebrate!"  She squeezed my hand gently.
When I looked at her, she had this sort of happy eager expression on her
face.  It wasn't fair.  She was looking beautiful again to get me to
agree.  I hated it when she did that.
     No, I didn't.
     "Okay," I sighed.  "Let's go look in the closet and see what ya
got."

***
17:27 23 May

     What I had ended up with, was a white sweater that I just wanted to
rub over my body, or Debbie's body, because it was so soft.  It had to
be the fabled angora, I figured.  That, and a short black denim skirt,
and that was it.  Not counting underwear et cetera.  I even got to wear
my flats.
     I saw Jill go past me backwards, her hands up and shaking her head
and spluttering like an outboard on idle.  "What the-" I said as I
turned around, and immediately understood why Jill looked like she was
trying to get away from a rat.  Debbie was holding up the red dress I'd
gotten Jill for her birthyday.

***
17:32 23 May

     "Oh, please, Jill, come on!  Look, I'll wear anything you want if
you wear that, please-"
     "I don't WANT to wear it!"
     "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze?!" we all begged and whined.

***
17:46 23 May

     So much for flats.  Now I was in something I had a vague
recollection of Sabrina wearing to a dance one time.  I still thought it
looked better on her than on me, but I was a dissenting opinion.  It was
red and black, almost tiger striped except diagonal, and the skirt
fluffed out before it ended a little too soon, and the neckline went
this way and that for a little too far, and I even had to change my
underwear to put the darn thing on.  Even then, the cleavage was a
little too low, but Amanda of all people had suggested adding a short
black slip to the pile, which when everything was properly assembled,
had the effect of a tiny bit of black lacy stuff peeking out of
cleavage, which was just about as interesting as more cleavage.  And it
had the advantage of not requiring duct tape.
     I was in favor of anything not requiring duct tape.
     Debbie had somehow gotten a bag from home that I had missed, and
when I saw what she was going to wear, I almost choked.  It was the
black silk dress I'd gotten her; the twin to what Jill was hopefully
putting on in the bathroom.  Jill was too embarrassed to put hers on in
front of us, which I thought was hysterically funny.

***
17:52 23 May

     I'm not sure who got Jill to come out, but Kathy was leading the
way, and Debbie was holding her hand when she came in.
     Debbie had done Jill's makeup, too, and she looked completely
fabulous.  I mean, better than Marilyn Monroe, even though she had
platinum blonde hair and a red dress too.  And ears that matched the
dress, though that sort of spoiled the effect a tiny bit.
     There was complete silence for about half a second, then I started
to applaud, and everyone swarmed around her, giving her compliments and
stuff.  I heard Debbie say, "See?  I told you it'd work."

***
17:56 23 May

     I was doing my own makeup, or fighting to get my own makeup done
which was closer to the truth, when Kathy looked at me in the mirror.
"Isn't that kind of, dark?" she asked, pointing at what I was wiping
over my eyelids.  I'd borrowed it from Amanda when I saw what she was
using.
     I shrugged.  "It's sort of in, lately, or at least that's what it
looks like.  Besides, I think I kind of like the effect."  Kathy
considered what I said, then pulled the matching lipstick out of my pile
and tried it on herself.
     "When are you going to get your ears pierced so you can wear decent
jewelry?" Pam asked as she stuck decent jewelry into her pierced ears.
     "I'm not.  I'm opposed to mutilating my body," I facetiously
explained, "simply to satisfy some twisted custom of the patriarchy."
     She gaped at me for a long, frozen time, then cracked up.

***
18:04 23 May

     Flash! from behind me.  I whirled around, and Kathy was pointing a
camera at my rear end.  Well, she had been.  Now she was swinging around
and aiming it at Jill, who like a fool wasn't paying attention.  "Jill!"
Kathy said sharply, and Jill turned around and Flash!

***
18:07 23 May

     Kathy did something to the camera, then zipped in front and lay
down, posing in front of the rest of us.  An LED flashed on the front,
then flashed faster.  "Remember, look like you're having fun, Jill,"
Kathy warned.  I dunno what Jill did when she heard that, but I started
to laugh, right when the camera went off.

***
18:19 23 May

     "I don't care if Mondays's blue,
     Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too,
     Thursday I don't care about you,
     It's Friday, I'm in love!
     Monday you can fall apart,
     Tuesday Wednesday break my heart,
     Thursday doesn't even start,
     It's Friday, I'm in love!"
     Debbie squeezed my hand as we sang the last line at each other.
This time, she was driving.  She said something about being better at
driving in heels than I was, but I think both of us were relieved to
have someone more experienced at the wheel.

***
18:38 23 May

     I was more than a bit hungry by the time we got seated, but it was
kind of cool, sitting there with all the girls.  Of course, I was sort
of one of them for the duration.  Again.
     Still, we were out of school, we had jobs, we had friends, we had
some cash, or something, because Debbie had mentioned that the dinner
would come out of company funds so we wouldn't have to pay for it...
     I just couldn't figure out why there were four empty seats at the
table.
     On the other hand, I was having fun playing footsie with Debbie,
with both of us in hose.  It was an interesting sensation.  And the best
part was, she couldn't yell at me without blowing it.

***
18:44 23 May

     We were arguing over appetizers, and I was trying not to scream at
the prices - when Debbie celebrated, she didn't do it halfway - when
Kathy stood up and waved a napkin.  I looked around towards the door,
like everyone else, and it was Kim, and Mike, and George, and- Julia?

***
18:47 23 May

     I had to get up to go talk to Mike and George, so I was sort of
standing there bending over so I could hear them and hoping nobody was
staring at me.  It sure felt like it...
     "Anyway," Mike said, "the place looks good-"
     "-For a goat ranch," George snickered.
     "It is NOT a goat ranch!" Kim protested vehemently.
     "Shut up George," Mike said, then turned towards me.  "Anyway, most
everything is fifteen amp fuses, and there's one 220 line in there, with
two outlets.  Three-phase, 110 on each side.  That's got a forty amp
fuse."  George and Kim were leaning forward exchanging insults.
     "Uhhhh," I did some math in my head, "that ought to work pretty
well, I think.  As long as nobody brings a microwave or anything."
     "No radar?" Mike asked, like he'd been planning on bringing one.  I
smacked him in the head.
     "Hey, that's my head!" Kim complained.  "I'm the only one that gets
to hit him!"  Mike leered at the table while I stared in shock at Kim.
     Finally I stuttered out, "But, but he's my BROTHER!" which sort of
stopped things for a quarter second.
     "Separated at birth, no doubt," Kathy shot, "you can see the
resemblance in the wires coming out of their ears," and everyone cracked
up at that.  I would have fallen down laughing if I hadn't grabbed the
back of the chair.

***
19:19 23 May

     "Jeez, finally," Mike said as two waiters staggered towards- no,
there was a third one bringing up the rear, all of them bearing huge
platters which had to have our food.
     "You really know how to celebrate," Julia mentioned to Debbie.
Debbie just smiled gently, and nodded in acknowledgment.  I squeezed her
hand under the table.

***
20:04 23 May

     Dinner was winding up, and we were going to the bathroom in shifts
since it was only so big.  I'd fixed my makeup, and me and Debbie and
Julia and Kim had laughed about Mike and George, and everything was
going just fine until we came out and I noticed Travis.  Well, that
wasn't the problem, the problem was that he noticed me.  Erk.
     Debbie almost tripped as I froze, and she turned to look at me but
caught Travis first.  "Oh, hi Travis!" she said, and pulled me along
with her.  He had a girl with him tonight, for which I was eternally
grateful.
     That meant he wouldn't be able to ask me out.
     "Uh, hi," he said, like he was embarrassed or something.  Probably
because he had another date.  He had no idea what real embarrassment
was.
     Real embarrassment was going to be if Debbie said anything.  Oh, my
God, I was going to die-
     "Who's this?" asked the girl.
     "Uh, Beth, this is Debbie, and this is Valerie-"
     A guy I remembered as last being flat on his back in the hospital
wandered up with another girl.  Not in a wheelchair, not on crutches
either.  "Bobby?"
     "Hey, Vicki!" he waved.
     "Valerie," me and Debbie and Travis and the first girl corrected,
all at the same time.
     "Sorry, how you doing?" he grinned.
     "Um, okay, I guess, how're you doing?"  Gee, and if I talked to
Bobby I didn't have to talk to Travis.  And if I could get Debbie to
talk to him then she wouldn't talk to Travis either...

***
20:08 23 May

     Travis and Bobby, along with Beth and Kathy, were going to Red
Bluff's prom, and so I left them to their dinner feeling pretty good
that Bobby had recuperated.  And even better that we were going
elsewhere.
     "That's him?" Amanda asked, not pointing.
     "That's him," Debbie and I confirmed at the same time.  "The big
one," Debbie added.
     "Whoah," was her comment.
     "Who's the other one?" Pam asked.

***
20:18 23 May

     "So what do we do now?" Kim asked.
     There was much general scratching of heads as we stood around in
the parking lot, trying to figure out what to do.
     "I could go for something a little different," Kathy mentioned.
     "And now," intoned Mike and George at the same time, "for something
completely different."
     "Number one, the larch," I tossed in, in my best Oxford accent.
     Sabrina threw her hands to her ears and shrieked, "GEEKS!"
     Kim called out, "But it's my only line!" and faked sobbing into
Mike's shoulder.  Jill whacked Kim in the butt, and Kim whirled around
and almost tagged Jill with a right cross, but Jill dodged and laughed.
Flash! went the camera.

***
20:49 23 May

     I shook my head, sort of at Debbie, but sort of at the universe.
"I will never understand how I keep getting into these things," I
mentioned as we hung around the Suburban Teen Assault Vehicle, sneaking
swigs out of a thermos of something alcoholic and waiting for Mike Kim
Julia and George to show up at Underground.
     "And to think, only last week we were just selling makeup," Debbie
reminded me, and we both started to laugh.
     FLASH!  I said rude things as I waited for my overdriven retinas to
regenerate.

***
21:08 23 May

     I was having fun dancing with Debbie when Mike pulled me out of the
sort of circle we had and dragged me back to the tables we'd snagged.
George was there, and looking a little strange.
     "What?" I finally managed to say loud enough to be heard.
     Mike indicated a chair, while massaging his forehead with the other
hand.  Kim and Julia took some kind of hint and left.  Reluctantly.
     This was a bad sign.

***
21:10 23 May

     "Don't you see something, WRONG, in all this?" George insisted,
pointing at me.
     "Well, shit, George..."  I took a breath.  "Look, I know it sounds
weird, but they're my friends, and I like being with 'em, and... and,
hell, you two are dressed in formals too!"
     "These are suits," Mike pointed out.
     "And this is a helluva lot cooler to dance in," I shot back.
     George emphasized, "WE have normal shoes."
     I sighed, irritated and more than a little upset.  "Look, Debbie
likes it this way, okay?"
     They both shook their heads sadly.

***
21:13 23 May

     I was in the girl's bathroom, fighting off simultaneous tears and a
desire to punch someone.  It was pretty insane, really; this was the
only place in the club that they wouldn't follow me.
     "Val?"
     Of course, the other side of that was, that I was also with half a
dozen girls tonight, and they had no problems at all following me into
the women's room.
     "I'm okay," I lied as I tried to wipe my eyes without smearing my
makeup.
     "Val," Debbie said, looking concerned, "look, we can go home if you
want to, we've got my car here..."
     "Nooo....."  I took a deep breath.  "It's just, I mean..."  I
looked her in the eye.  She looked worried.  "They're right.  What AM I
doing here, like this?"  I waved my hands over myself.  "It's not
normal, it's-"
     "What's normal?" she asked.  That threw me.  "I mean," she
continued in a rush, "is it normal for you to stay in your room all the
time, tied to computers?  Is, is the stuff with Nick normal?"  That took
me a second to figure out.
     She continued, "I just, I mean, you know, we wanted to celebrate at
someplace ritzy and then go back to Sab's and have a night with each
other, friends and everything, and, and I wanted you to be there.  You,
you're one of my best friends..."  Debbie wiped her eye.
     "Debbie..."
     She stepped closer, and we hugged each other for a long time.  I
don't know if she was crying.  I was crying too hard myself to tell.

***
21:17 23 May

     "Come on," she sniffed, and tried to smile.  "I didn't come here to
sit here in the bathroom all night."
     "Wanna dance?" I asked, and we both sort of laughed.

***
21:26 23 May

     Losing myself in the music worked as well as it always did.

***
21:42 23 May

     "Why do you keep looking around like that?" Mike asked me.
     I shrugged.  "I keep expecting to see Jack show up.  I think he
lives here or something.  At least Friday nights..."
     "Jack?  That guy in the band?"  I nodded.  "Oh well," he sighed,
and patted me on the shoulder.  "Maybe he just found someone else,
someone to make his life complete, and you've lost him forever."
     "Oh," I threw my hands up to my cheeks, "damnit!  Another man out
of my fingers..."  I put one hand up to my forehead and sighed as
dramatically as I could manage.
     And squawked and convulsed as Mike rammed a finger into my abs.

***
23:09 23 May

     "I SAID WE'RE GOING HOME!" Pam screamed into my ear.
     I looked at my watch, which wasn't there, and Debbie grabbed my arm
and started pulling me towards the exit.  I guess it was time, whatever
time it was.

***
23:12 23 May

     Mike asked quietly, "You're sure you're not being pushed into
anything, 'cause Julia said she could run us home if we needed..."
     "I'm sure, Mike."  Pause.  "It'll be okay, really."
     "I just don't want you freakin' out again, okay?"
     "I won't," I promised.  He held my gaze for a long time, then held
up his hands, and we latched on like we used to do.

***
23:16 23 May

     "What a night, huh?" Debbie asked, kind of slow like she was tired.
     "Yeah, really."  We sat on Debbie's car fender and watched Mike and
Kim talk.  Debbie said something which I didn't catch.  "Huh?"
     "I said you look really... nice, tonight."  I looked at her, and
she was looking sixteen again.
     "Thanks, I think."
     Her face fell.  "I didn't, you didn't have to come if-"
     "No, I know, I wanted to come, I really did."  I smiled at her.
"It's been fun tonight, it really has.  Especially watching George try
to dance."  We chuckled at that.
     Long, semi-comfortable pause.  I watched Kim try and smack Mike in
the head, but he blocked it.
     "You do look nice," Debbie mentioned.
     I looked at her again, and she was smiling at me.  "Thanks," I said
softly.  She reached out her hand, and I grabbed hers, and we sat there,
holding hands for a while.  It was nice, but I wished I could kiss her.
"Nice, huh?"
     She looked at her shoes with a little smile on her face.  "Yeah,"
she said in this little teenager's voice.
     "As nice as Lisa?" I teased her quietly.
     "Wh-" she started and jerked to her feet, surprised, then her
cycled through expressions I didn't know and couldn't name.  Finally,
she mumbled, "Yeah," towards the asphalt.
     After a while, I commented, "You look... spectacular, tonight."
     She looked up at me with that young expression again.  "Really?"
     "Uh huh.  Really."  She smiled shyly at me.  I took both her hands
in mine, and we stood there some more.
     "You do too," she finally offered.  Her eyes, I noticed, were
shining, reflecting the lights in the parking lot.  It was a wondrous
sight.
     Finally, I couldn't stand it any more, and I pulled her towards me,
and put my arms around her, and started to kiss her.  She didn't resist
any of it.
     We kissed, gently and slowly, for a long, beautiful time.
     There was a Flash! behind us, then someone honked.  Debbie jerked
back, I jerked back, and Debbie started to curse as I turned around to
see Mike leaning out of Julia's car window and hooting at us.  "FUCK
OFF!" Debbie screamed as I leaned against the side of Debbie's car, my
heart pounding.  One last picture, and they drove off, laughing faintly.
     "Well," Debbie breathed from behind me, "that sort of blew the
mood."
     "Yeah," I agreed, and when we looked at each other, we started to
giggle.  "Let's get out of here, girl friend."
     "You got it!"

***
00:04 24 May

     "And they didn't even notice us for like, FIVE minutes, I swear..."
Kim cackled.
     "Shut UP Kim!" I snarled as I scrubbed makeup off my face.  Debbie
just groaned and pulled a pillow over her head.
     "You really should be more careful in public," Kathy observed as
she sat down on the edge of a couch arm.
     "It, we, she..."  I sighed.  "It was just the moment, you know?"
     "Still."
     "Yeah, I guess," I sighed.  "So how's your love life going?"
     She shrugged.  "Mark's okay, I guess.  He wanted to go out tonight,
but we were already celebrating-"
     "That reminds me," Debbie said as she sat back up.  "Kim, remember
how we weren't supposed to bring boyfriends along?  So what was Mike
doing there?"
     "He had to talk to Val!" Kim protested.
     "That was dinner, Kim," Pam pointed out helpfully.  "Not for
dancing!"
     "He made me!"
     There was a chorus of protests at that lie, including Kathy
intoning, "Bullshit."  "Come on," Sabrina said, grinning evilly, "if
you start bringing him, then it'll end up like some kind of, like we'll
have to bring the boys along for EVERYthing.  This was supposed to be
for US, remember?"
     Kathy kicked me lightly in the back.  "Okay!" I protested.  Debbie
dove under the pillow again.

***
00:17 24 May

     "So are you still talking to that guy in the band?" Jill smirked at
Amanda, who instantly started to blush.
     "Uh, yeah, sort of-"
     "Sort of?" Kathy disputed.  "Are you or aren't you?"
     Amanda admitted, "Well, um yeah..."
     "Oooooooh," we all said, and giggled.
     "So what's he like?" Pam asked.

***
01:13 24 May

     I was brushing my teeth when Jill came into the bathroom.  I
carefully didn't watch as she sat down on the throne and did some
business.  I finished about the same time she did.
     I had just finished rinsing out my mouth when she asked, "Did I
really look that good tonight?"
     "God, yes," I shot back instantly, not having to even consider it.
"Fantastic!"
     She scratched her forehead and looked at me sideways.  "It just, I
mean, it's weird.  I was always the scrawny ugly one..."
     I turned around and shook her gently by the shoulder.  "Jill.  When
you want to, you look as good as anyone else in here."
     "Even Debbie?" she grinned.
     After a second, I said, "Debbie has other things to, to get my
attention.  Besides, that's not a fair question and you know it."
     "So you two were really kissing out there in the parking lot?" she
changed the subject.  I was glad.  Sort of.  "Dressed like that?"
     "Yeah," I said as I started to get embarrassed about it again.  It
really wasn't the smartest thing to be doing in public.  "It, she, I
mean..."
     "You two got to feeling romantic and couldn't wait?"
     "Yeah, something like that."
     She punched me lightly on the arm.  "You kids, I swear..." she
chuckled.  "Besides, you looked pretty fantastic yourself tonight."
     I snorted.  "Yeah, I guess..."
     She wiggled her eyebrows at me, and I wiggled mine back, and
finally she suggested, "Let's head back, eh?  Maybe they're done playing
with nail polish."

***
01:17 24 May

     Jill looked like she was sucking a lemon, whereas Kim looked like
she was having all sorts of fun as she painted Jill's fingernails.
     Debbie, on the other hand, was looking completely serious and
focused as she painted my toenails.  In this sort of dark iridescent
pink-rose kind of thing.

***
01:21 24 May

     Kathy sat next to me, and wiggled her toes at me, so I wiggled mine
back.  Hers had ended up red-red, the color I always thought of when
someone said "nail polish."  They looked good on her, from what I could
see from here.  They were a long way away, of course...
     "This is all your fault, Val," Jill groused as she tried to eat a
candy bar without messing up her drying polish.
     "Me?"
     "I think it's mine," argued Debbie, who was lying on the bed with
her feet in my lap as I concentrated on staying inside the skin, as it
were.  "I brought all my nail stuff tonight..."
     "Bottom of the makeup kit stuff," Pam commented, flickering hers in
the air.  They were this freaked-out metallic blue color.

***
02:03 24 May

     "G'night, Val," Kathy said as she got ready to get into the other
bed.
     "What, don't I get a good night kiss?" I teased.
     She turned around slowly, stuck a finger under my chin, and tilted
my head up towards her.  I stood very still.  "You're not that cute,"
she told me.
     "I think someone would disagree with you," Jill mentioned, then
whoofed as Debbie's pillow connected with her face at high speed.
     I remembered the last pillow fight I'd been in, and as Jill
returned fire while closing, I dove under one of the couch beds.

***
02:27 24 May

     I got a fairly chaste goodnight kiss from Debbie eventually, but it
made me feel romantic and cuddly anyway.  So I romantically cuddled
against her, like Kim was doing to me on the other side, and wondered if
I could stay awake until everyone had gone to sleep...

***


"People who say I'm some sort of gay guy 'cause I'm TS have no clue.  I
mean, I barely passed art history, I avoid musicals like the plague, and
my idea of interior decorating involves steel plates and spray paint."
- -- ehayes


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"Tallyho!"      \   /     @>--,--'--  ehayes@nym.alias.net  + vicki .sig
Ellen Hayes --=(*)=(*)=-- Renaissance Woman    ==[--------  + virus 9.1a
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