Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2007 08:22:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: Toby Tyler <tobyt_yler@yahoo.com>
Subject: Fucked-Up Kid Chapter 1

Fucked Up Kid

By Toby Tyler

Comments and suggestions welcome: Tobyt_yler@yahoo.com

INTRODUCTION

What follows is the first portion of an account from one of my former
patients, Timothy R., aged 19, who came to me for treatment for
depression following the termination of a sexual relationship with
Donovan S., AKA Sadie Mae, a 14-year-old male who exhibited a high degree
of gender variance marked by frequent episodes of transvestitism, as well
as a preference for the passive or `feminine' role during homosexual
relations; the complete account includes graphic descriptions of mildly
sadistic oral and anal intercourse, as well as sexual acts involving
bondage, urination and the abuse of hallucinogenic substances. Extensive
commentary and analysis of this case can be found in my monograph, `The
Feminized Boy: A Transgressive Approach'.

The former lover, Donovan S., refused to participate in relationship
counseling sessions. He also refused to provide a written account of the
relationship. He reportedly stated that psychiatric counseling was of
little use to him, and that he could gain deeper personal insight by
"sucking cock in a public restroom."

The patient was prescribed a daily dosage of 300mg moclobemide for
approximately 2 months before discontinuing therapy, stating that he had
found another sexual partner and was therefore no longer suffering from
depression. -Dr. Elkhart Lewis-Void, M.D., Psy.D.

Fucked Up Kid

Chapter 1

"It's cool that you're gay and everything, Tim, and I guess it's cool
that you dig me, but that's just not my thing. But I'm totally cool
with it. My family's pretty open-minded, so I'm not freaked out or
anything like that."

My roommate, Dylan, was trying his best to reassure me after I had
embarrassed myself by confessing my feelings for him in a six-page
letter. It was the first semester of our freshman year in college. I
appreciated his understanding and openness about my sexuality. Otherwise,
things might have turned ugly.

Dylan had been raised by hippies, and I was always envious about his
stories of growing up in such an offbeat family. My own family was rather
conservative and uptight.

Dylan's family was large and complicated. From the way he told it, he
had something like a dozen sisters, step-sisters, half-sisters, and a
younger half-brother named Donovan, who was around 13 or 14. The sisters
were older, and I think they had all gone off to college. Dylan and his
brother were the only kids left in the household. I met some of his older
sisters when came to visit him at college, but I hadn't met the brother
yet.

Dylan never mentioned Donovan much, but when he did it was always some
story of some sort of trouble the boy was always getting into. Innocent
stuff, really, like lighting off fireworks in school or mouthing off in
class and getting sent home.

At the end of the semester, Dylan had invited me to a holiday party with
his extended family. I agreed to go, not only because I liked Dylan and
his sisters, but also because I was secretly hoping to meet his brother
Donovan. If Donovan was anywhere near as cute as Dylan - well, I just
couldn't wait to meet him!

The party was nice, once I got accustomed to all the vegan food and
hippie music. It was also weird to see Dylan smoking pot with his family.
This was something that would have never occurred in my own home! I was a
bit disappointed that Dylan's little brother wasn't there, but there
were still some rather interesting people there to talk to.

There was one girl, I figured she was about 12 years old, who really took
a liking to me. Her name was Sadie and she was Dylan's second or third
cousin, twice-removed, or something like that. She was kind of sassy. She
had beautiful, golden hair cut in a somewhat short pageboy style. Her
t-shirt read "Girls Rule, Boys Drool".  She had an intense, unnerving
stare. I asked her what she thought about her cousin Donovan. I wanted to
find out as much about the mystery boy as I could.

"Donovan's a pretty cool kid. You know, he does his own thing, and
we're all okay with that. Problem is, not too many people really
understand him." She said. I told her that I would have liked to have
met him.

Then she asked me if I wanted to smoke a joint with her. I nervously
responded, "Why not? Everyone else here is pretty stoned." I must have
sounded a bit `square' to her.

She got a joint from Dylan's mother and led me downstairs into the
laundry room.

"It's more private here" she said. We smoked the joint and made
awkward small talk for a little while.

I secretly eyed the piles of dirty laundry, hoping I would have a chance
to steal a pair of Donovan's dirty underwear when Sadie wasn't looking.
I already had a small collection of Dylan's filthy underpants that I
secretly enjoyed when I jerked off, and wouldn't have minded adding his
little brother's shorts to the collection.

Then Sadie's mood changed and she began to stare at me again. She was
starting to give me the creeps.

"I brought you down here because I wanted to talk to you. Alone." Sadie
sat on the washing machine, eyeing me with that penetrating stare.

Uh-oh. "That's cool" I said nervously.

"So you're Dylan's roommate, right?"

"Yeah, why? You wanna know about what college is like?"

"No, Tim, what I want to know is how experienced you are. Sexually, I
mean."

I didn't like were this was going. I had no interest in girls and I did
not want a 12 year old girl inquiring about my sexuality, which was none
of her business.

"Uh, what exactly do you mean?"

"I mean, have you ever fucked a girl?"

My own facial expression must have answered her question. "I guess you
haven't" she said.

"Well, what about you?" I retorted. "Have you ever^Åbeen fucked by a
boy?"

Sadie paused thoughtfully for a moment. "Well, almost."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, almost. There was this really sexy older guy who really wanted to
fuck me ^Ö he was about your age - but his parents almost caught us and
we got scared." She brushed her golden hair out of her eyes. "So has a
girl ever given you a BJ?" she asked.

I was growing more uncomfortable with the discussion. "A BJ?" I asked.

"You know, a blowjob. Has a girl ever given you a blowjob?"

"No." I admitted. I had given a few, though, but I was not about to
tell her that. I was getting really embarrassed, and I hoped that I'd
never see the girl again after that awkward conversation.

"So have you ever given a boy a blowjob?" I asked Sadie. I knew she was
waiting for me to ask.

"Almost."

"Same story?"

"Yeah."

"I think I'm going to go back upstairs and see what Dylan is up to." I
desperately needed to escape. Things were getting a little too
uncomfortable for me.

"Okay, I won't bother you anymore. I can see you're a little uptight.
But I just want to ask you one more thing. Can you kiss me?"

"Well, I guess I can."

"I'm just learning, and I need a lot of practice. So when I get a
boyfriend I'll know what to do. You don't mind, do you?"

"I guess not." I leaned over to give Sadie a quick peck on the lips.
She was clearly ready for a bit more. I was alarmed when I felt her
thrust her tongue into my mouth. Things got pretty sloppy pretty quickly,
with Sadie thrusting her hot tongue into my mouth. I tried my best to
reciprocate, but there was just an awful lot of saliva, both hers and
mine, mixing up in my mouth. I couldn't spit it out so I swallowed. It
was a real mess.

Then she pulled away from me.

"You're a terrible kisser, Tim. I don't think you've had much
practice."

I was insulted and embarrassed. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Your tongue is a bit too wild. You don't quite know what to do with it
yet. You gotta use a little restraint."

"But I thought that was how you wanted it!"

"Kissing is an art, Tim." Sadie picked up both my hands and held them
in her lap. "You gotta be subtle. I want to tame that wild tongue of
yours. Let's try it again."

We tried it a few more times, but she could tell I was resistant. I had
to admit, though, she was a great kisser.

When we kissed, Sadie grabbed for my cock. Sadly, it wasn't hard. There
was no way I could get hard with a girl, but I didn't want to tell her
that. She seemed disappointed.

I knew everyone in Dylan's family was really open-minded, but I still
didn't want to have to explain to this girl that I was gay. And I
didn't want her to figure it out, so I kept pretending to enjoy the
kiss. It was very uncomfortable for me. Besides, if I told Sadie I was
gay, she seemed just like the kind of girl who would make it her mission
to try to straighten me out. She was definitely trouble.

A few days later, Dylan asked me how I liked the party.

"It was cool. I really like your family. Nothing at all like mine."

"I'm glad you had a good time. Just one thing I wanted to tell you,
though. Be really careful the next time you're around Donovan. He's a
good kid, but he's going through a really fucked-up stage right now. I
mean, we've always let him do his own thing but there's a lot of things
he really doesn't understand yet. You could really mess with his head if
you wanted to, and I hope you don't do anything like that."

I was confused. "What are you talking about? I haven't even met your
brother!"

"I saw you two sneak off into the laundry room together. You were alone
with him for an awful long time." Dylan said, knowingly.

Then I remembered that I did go into the laundry room - with the freaky
girl who had started asking me about sex. Maybe he just saw her from
behind and mistook her for his brother. Sadie had hair that was a little
short for a girl but an acceptable length for a boy now that longer hair
was back in fashion again. Maybe Donovan had a similar haircut, causing
Dylan to mix the two up.

"Oh no, you got it all wrong. That wasn't your brother, that was your
cousin. Sadie, I think her name was. We just went to smoke a joint. Your
brother wasn't with us at all!"

Donovan rolled his eyes. "Sadie!" he laughed. "Geez, is that what
he's calling himself now? What a twisted little fucker! He must be
reading Helter Skelter again! I'm gonna have to take that book away from
him!"

"Huh?" I was totally confused.

"Don't tell me you're really so dense that you couldn't figure it
out!"

"You mean-"

"So, Tim, what do you think of my little brother?"

"I think he's really somethin' else."

To Be Continued