Date: Sun, 13 May 2012 12:02:37 GMT
From: "teresawood1@juno.com" <teresawood1@juno.com>
Subject: Hillbilly Girl TG

As with many of my stories there are a lot of real-life facts contained
within. Yes, some of these events really did happen. Reality diverts into
fantasy at some point; I leave it to my readers to choose what falls into
each category. This is, intentionally, a long story.

The situation I have found myself in didn't arise overnight. It took the
events of my whole life to finally lead to this moment. To accurately share
my present I need to tell you some details of my past.

Hillbilly Girl

Chapter 1

Life in the mountains of Kentucky is a little different than in other
places and my own even more so. They found my father's body in a tent on
top of Yancey's Peak when I was only four. He'd died drunk; smothered by
his own vomit, and was naked; they never did find the bimbo who'd been
there with him though my mom had her ideas. He'd left us alone and broke
with no way for my crippled mother to provide for us. I guess I learned to
have a good work ethic; food-stamps didn't pay the bills. Even
Mrs. Priddy's small son Mark understood that.

I worked hard at the part-time jobs I could find. I'd do most anything from
mowing yards (tough in the mountains where level ground doesn't exist), to
working in the general store to babysitting. Hard work was nothing to me
though I was never a large boy; in fact I was always small for my age and
mistook occasionally by strangers for a girl because of my long hair. I
tried to date but didn't have much luck; I never had enough money to take
girls out to eat or to the movies. My one indulgence was sports; though I
wasn't very good at most things and really didn't want to play in some.
When you go to a high school as small as ours everyone has to participate
if we're going to have enough kids to put out a team. Like in football for
example; even with my reluctant participation we only had nineteen players
my senior year and that's even counting one eight-grader who was kind of
big. I'd return kickoffs or punts and did ok; I was pretty fast. I was
better at baseball where my weak throwing arm could be hidden at second
base and even better at cross country and track where my little legs could
easily out pace most competition. I never excelled at anything well enough
to draw the attention of any colleges, but I enjoyed it enough to deal with
practice schedules in and around school work and jobs. Not that my grades
didn't suffer; they did, but I maintained a solid C average.

The summer after my senior year my mom passed away. She'd been dying for
years so it while it wasn't surprising it was devastating all the same. We
didn't own anything that mattered; no house or car, so I managed to get rid
of everything in one extended yard sale... everything but a few personal
possessions and some clothes. Not all of them my own.

When I was small, probably about six or so, though I don't clearly remember
my age, I started trying on my mother's clothes that I found in the dirty
clothes hamper. I'm not sure why, but it was fun and I did it in secret,
somehow knowing I shouldn't let my mother know. Eventually I graduated from
panties and panty hose `fresh' from the hamper to bras and slips borrowed
from my mother's drawers. She still had clothes from her younger days when
she and my father were newly weds and by the time I was ten or eleven I
started trying on her corsets and `naughty nighties'. By that point
masturbation was a big part of my dressing up though my emissions were
nearly nonexistent and I loved to imagine that the girls from school were
wearing identical underwear as I was at that moment. Somehow it brought me
closer to them in my own mind. Not once did I have a fantasy about another
boy; I was not interested in being gay.

For the most part I was healthy, though I did have one issue come up that
really depressed my mom, and also me at first. The doctor explained it all
but to a twelve year old it didn't make a lot of sense.

My mother was concerned that I was nearly thirteen and had yet to grow any
body hair. Also; my voice hadn't changed and remained the same clear tenor
it had been when I was little. Mom began to worry about me, normal I
suppose because of her own history of health issues, and when she suggested
that I go to the doctor for a physical I agreed. I would have done anything
to ease her mind. Being in no hurry to grow hair in my armpits I wasn't
concerned. I was active and had no doubts about my ability to pass the
physical but that's the way life is; imagine my surprise when I failed some
blood tests.

"It's nothing that means life or death," the doctor explained to us when we
returned for my final follow up. "Apparently Mark has a rare disorder known
as Hypogonadism, caused by Klinefelter's syndrome. It's a genetic
disorder."

He had gone on to explain that my testicles hadn't developed correctly and
were producing practically no testosterone.

"What does that mean?"

"First of all, you may be infertile; we can test for that. You can expect
your body to continue to soften as you lose muscle and gain fat. What
little testosterone your body has produced is dwindling and this situation
will only get worse. You've had this issue since before you were born, so
you have nothing to feel guilty about. If you don't begin an immediate
regimen of testosterone injections and medications your body's feminine
characteristics are going to become undeniable. Some of which are already
showing though it's possible you haven't noticed."

Mom, of course, who didn't entirely trust doctors after years of their
failing to properly diagnose her, had a million questions and taxed the
doctor's patience I'm sure, none of which I really understood. He finally
summed it up for me.

"Mark, you may develop breasts. They'll likely remain small, but they may
very well be functionally capable of creating milk under the proper
circumstances. You would have probably never noticed them, thinking only
that they were loose skin or fat but I assure you that they are
breasts. Without the testosterone treatments they will develop and they
will remain. Your body cannot produce enough testosterone on its own;
without these treatments you may lose the ability to get an erection."

Embarrassed beyond redemption at hearing the doctor speak of me having
erections in front of my mother I pretty much shut my hearing down for the
rest of the visit. Mom wheedled a week's sample of the drugs from him and
we left. She cried a lot and apologized to me but I still didn't truly
understand what she was upset for. My chest didn't look like a girl's no
matter what the doctor said. Naturally we couldn't afford the drugs but
eventually I grew a little body hair, enough that my mother decided that I
had `outgrown' whatever condition I had and dropped the subject.

Of course this new idea increased my dressing up for a while. I liked
trying on a bra, pretending that I did have breasts of my own but it was
all just a joke. I had nothing on my chest besides the same baby fat I'd
always carried there. I just loved the thought of dressing and acting like
a girl, not truly being a girl.

Those times ended when my mother caught me. I was thirteen at the time and
was sitting on the clothes hamper wearing panties and a slip when my mother
walked in carrying a load of clean towels. She cried, telling me that she
had been suspicious because of her clothes being in disarray but never
certain. She blamed herself and wanted to know what she had done to make me
do this. I cried too and said that I only did it to see what it felt like
and swore never to do it again. She probably wasn't convinced but I did
avoid dressing up for nearly two years, though I would often wake up
through the night after a wonderful dream of dressing and cry myself back
to sleep. Finally I went to a local church that was part of the `Mountain
Mission' where people donated clothing for the poor people of the
Appalachians. They arrived dumped in garbage bags and I volunteered to sort
through one truck load. They'd been washed before they'd been sent but
there was no rhyme or reason to the packing so things had to be separated
into appropriate piles for distribution. There I managed to obtain a few
pairs of panties and a really nice bra for my personal use. I also took a
slip, though it was very boring; made of cloth and with no feminine, lacey
touches. These I hid inside an old T.V. tennis game (a Pong knockoff that
had never worked) in my closet and so my secret dressing continued. I
longed for panty hose and a truly feminine slip, not to mention the dresses
I had only barely begun to try but I didn't dare let my mother catch me
again. It was enough. It's not like I had a lot of time to indulge myself
anyway.

I learned to be so careful that my mom never again suspected; at least I
don't think so. In all those years of dressing up my mom was the only one
to ever catch me until the summer between my junior and senior years. I was
sixteen then and was working in the local general store as well as part
time at a sewing factory where I was paid to load the cloth remnants into
an incinerator three times a week. I also had baseball games twice a week
as well as a few practices but all in all I had more free time that summer
than any up to then, so naturally I was dressing more. One particular
Tuesday I was home alone; a rarity because my mother seldom left home
because of her physical ailments. My uncle had taken her into Lexington
that day for some medical tests and I knew they'd be gone for hours. I had
showered and put on my best panties along with my bra and slip before
walking into my mother's room to gaze longingly into her closet. Most of
her clothes were utilitarian but some were amazingly nice to someone like
me. I would take out the special ones one by one and hold them before me as
I gazed into the full-length mirror. It was as far as I dared go but the
desires were killing me. I knew that the softest, silkiest slips and panty
hose were right there in the room with me and that with only a very minimal
effort I could quickly be dressed completely as a woman. It was enough to
make me swoon with emotion. I was holding my mother's wedding gown up to my
chin when I heard the noise behind me.

To be truthful I had heard the noises earlier but had discounted them. We
live well off the main road with the nearest neighbor more than a mile
away. Our driveway was a dead end and was maintained by the owner of the
property primarily to give access to the field his father had cleared
behind the old house we now lived in. The only visitors we ever had were my
uncle and the farmer who always came on his tractor to work the field. In
either case we always heard them coming long before they reached the
house. I had no friends to speak of and not even traveling salesmen came
back here. I had to ride my bike out to the road just to catch the school
bus. When I heard the faint noises of someone in the yard, I just assumed
it was a stray dog or the old tom cat that lived in the barn. I never
expected anyone and in particular never dreamed that Todd Hammond would be
in my yard, much less looking in my mother's bedroom window.

I guess I should explain who Todd is. His father Duke owns the farm and
house we live on and he's their only son. He and I had gone to school
together from kindergarten on up but had never truly been
friends. Acquaintances would be more accurate. We nodded and occasionally
spoke in passing as minimally as two of the only six boys in our class
would need to. It's not that I disliked him, despite his obvious flaws; we
just never really `clicked'. His flaws? Well for one thing he was much
bigger than me, standing at least a foot taller than my 5'4''. His thick
blonde hair and good looks made him the center of attention for all the
girls in my school, leaving me and my black mop almost unnoticed. Where I
was slim he was muscular. Where I relied on quickness he relied on power
and was the standout on virtually every sports team in our school. He was
the school stud and I was the school pansy. Not that he ever bullied me or
mistreated me or anything; he didn't need to. He was so overwhelmingly my
superior in every way that I was no competition to him.

"What the Hell are you doing?" he had chortled, catching me in the act of
daydreaming about the wedding dress. The windows were tall and open and the
only thing separating us was a window screen. In defense I had spun towards
him, holding up the dress to cover my slip but it was too late and we both
knew it. My life was over whenever he chose to talk about what he had just
seen. Naturally I began to beg for him not to tell anyone, telling him
anything I could think of to convince him that I was just `fooling around'
and wasn't really a guy who wore women's clothing. He only laughed and
waved away my excuses then walked around the house and came in the back
door.

Petrified and very nearly wetting myself in fear I had quickly hung the
dress back up and rushed to meet him in the kitchen. Standing before him
wearing only panties, bra and slip I was prepared to debase myself in any
way he demanded to keep him from telling on me. I was ready for any insults
he cared to throw at me and was frantically preparing defenses to the `fag'
and `homo' references he was about to shower me with when he surprised me
by asking if he could borrow my old baseball glove.

"Excuse me?" I stammered, so shocked I couldn't comprehend what he was
saying.

"Your old baseball glove, the one with the broken laces?" he had explained,
telling me that his sister had left his outside and it had gotten too wet
to use in practice later. "I'll re-lace it for you if I can borrow it for a
few days."

Stunned, my heart barely beating, I led him back to my room still in my
feminine `finery' and there dug my old glove out of a box in my
closet. Taking the glove he thanked me and simply turned to leave! I chased
after him, begging him again not to tell anyone about me and swearing that
I'd never done it before and never would again. Finally he turned back to
me as we entered the kitchen and said simply, "Hey, don't worry about it."
Then he left the house, climbed on his bike, and rode away.

I quickly removed my girl clothes and spent the rest of the day crying in
my room. I didn't go to practice that evening and told my mother that I was
sick. My life was over and I frantically tried to think my way out of the
predicament I was in. There was nothing I could do. Todd knew about my
dressing up and soon everyone would.

Chapter 2

Two days later we had a baseball game and I had to show up. I avoided Todd
and stayed as close to the dugout door as I could. Every time someone
laughed I nearly cried, because I knew they were talking about me. I went 0
for 4 and made two errors, easily the worst game of my life. As soon as the
game ended I ran for my bike and fled for home; hoping to avoid the beating
I would take when the local kids learned that I was a `panty-wearing
sissy'. I knew that no one in my rural town would ever believe that I wore
girl's clothing and wasn't gay, and being gay in rural Kentucky was not a
safe thing to be. I didn't even get out of the parking lot before I was
stopped by Todd's dad in his pickup truck.

"Throw your bike in the back," he yelled, being mostly deaf. I knew I
couldn't say no without hurting the old man's feelings and did so expecting
the worst. I tried to salvage something by climbing into the back with my
bike but was ordered into the cab with him and Todd. As I slid in I kept my
eyes downcast, answering Mr. Hammond's conversation with minimal replies
without ever lifting my eyes from my dirty knees. Finally I couldn't stand
it any longer and sneaked a look at Todd, expecting to see his look of
derision and so suffer again my shame. He wasn't even looking at me;
instead staring out the windshield as if considering something. Finally he
did look over at me, giving me a little half smile but saying nothing
before returning to his contemplation. We left the truck at their house and
I rode my bike home without a word from Todd, other than a `thanks' as he
tossed me my now re-laced glove.

As far as I know Todd never told anyone. After about two weeks I accepted
his silence on the subject as an unspoken promise not to reveal my
secret. Another two weeks after I had accepted his promise I was back in
panties again and began to feel friendship towards him. Not that I'd ever
hated him before, but despite the arrogant confidence he always exuded, I
had now seen another side of his character I wouldn't have imagined. He was
really a nice guy. Not that we hung around together more; he was still the
BMOC and I was as far from it as possible, but he was never impolite to me,
not even when football practice began and we were daily naked around one
another in the team showers. He never acted self-conscious around me or
gave me a second glance, really. Obviously I didn't like guys and didn't
look at the others when they were naked but I made a concerted effort not
to even glance at anyone or give Todd any hint that I really was gay. Not
that I didn't notice certain physical attributes; no guy can shower with
others and not occasionally, accidentally, notice the size of their cocks,
particularly when mine was so much smaller than everyone else's. Todd's,
quite naturally, was easily the largest of all. I've always heard that a
large dick gives a guy confidence. Well, if that's true then Todd's
confidence was well earned and it's quite understandable why I have none
whatsoever. To further embarrass me during these times were the slight
protuberances on my chest. No, they weren't really breasts but my nipples
were a little larger than the other boys and the only fat on my whole body
seemed to concentrate there. I changed my shirt quickly and showered with
my back to the others, always `accidentally' holding my arm or a towel just
perfectly to disguise my weirdness. No one ever mentioned anything.

I finished out my senior year confident that my crossdressing secret
remained my own, and Todd's, and returned to my routine of dressing
whenever I could find the time. I still masturbated to thoughts of being
with women but did occasionally widen my fantasies to include actually
being a girl, though I never included a man in my conscious dreams. I had
one or two night-time dreams about me as a woman with another guy, who was
sometimes Todd, and these disturbed me greatly; even driving me to a week
at a time here and there when I would give up dressing
altogether. Eventually, however, I always returned to my panties, my small
treasure now slightly augmented by further explorations of the Mountain
Mission archives.

By the time the school year was closing I knew that mom wouldn't be around
much longer.

When our meager things had been sold I had reduced my worldly possessions
to the contents of four suitcases and an old wardrobe of my
grandmother's. Inside two of the suitcases were my clothes. Inside the
others were the best of my mother's things. Included in the wardrobe was
the wedding dress carefully wrapped in plastic along with her nicest
dresses and skirts. Also kept were the breast forms she'd been given after
her first round of cancer. Not that she had ever used them; they were still
in their package. My longing to try the clothes on was temporarily muted by
her death but I still had the presence of mind to keep them because I knew
that sooner or later I would be dressing again. But for now, that side of
my life was put on hold.

I placed my mom's things in storage and left for college once the estate,
such as it was, was settled. The timing had been good because I had needed
to stay with my uncle for only a week or so before it was time to leave. I
didn't have a scholarship and had barely passed the minimum requirements
but I had been accepted. Naturally I had to work to support myself as well
as pay for the school but I was no stranger to that. I blew into town and
had a job at an all-night convenience store before I even moved into the
freshman dorm. A weekend job cleaning houses was next and a local fast-food
restaurant agreed to schedule me around my classes. I bought a creaky old
bike to get me around. I was exhausted and had no time for myself but
without sports claiming any of my time I was doing well, even saving some
cash for the future. I didn't dress up once that whole year, though I would
often lay awake at night fantasizing about it. My old life seemed a distant
memory. The only real reminder I had was occasionally seeing Todd around
campus.

Yes, he had chosen the same school that I had, though he was there on a
football scholarship. I went to every game but he only played on special
teams. The big Stud quarterback on our little team was the fourth-string
safety here as a freshman. I still cheered for him. We only spoke once or
twice that whole year; we just moved in different circles. He remained
polite and always gave me a smile and a wave when we passed on the quad. I
figured that seeing him combined with my lack of opportunity to dress up
was what triggered the recurrence of my dreams.

They were more intense now; with me always as a woman or at least dressed
like one with Todd invariably somewhere around to hold my hand or even kiss
me. I was mortified! My thoughts on the purpose of these dreams were wild
and varied; either I needed to swear off dressing forever and remove the
lure of my mother's things back home in storage or I needed to find a way
to dress as often as possible so that I could ease my desires properly
while fantasizing about women. In desperation I tried to date any number of
women on campus without success. Desperation is not an attractive attribute
I am sure, particularly when you are as small and forgettable as me. I even
tried to avoid any place where I occasionally passed Todd and tried to
change directions if I saw him coming my way; just so he wouldn't smile at
me. I didn't want to give those stupid dreams any more fuel. I was not gay!

Chapter 3

By the time my freshman year ended I was almost desperate for an
opportunity to dress up. I would catch myself walking through a department
store, stopping to stare longingly at some feminine garment or another. The
knowledge that my personal stash of clothing awaited me back home, in
particular that beautiful wedding gown, was almost more than I could
bear. I was desperate to feel that soft garment sliding down onto my
feminized body, whispering its silken message as it eased down over my
slip. But even if I did reclaim my things, a three-hour or more bus ride
away, I had nowhere to wear them. The crowded dorm was not an option and
once the summer break began I had to be out of there anyway. I needed
somewhere to live.

The day I moved out of the dorm I moved into an efficiency apartment. Sixty
dollars a month with all utilities paid. A virtual castle, I am sure. Cold
cement block walls surrounded a tiny second floor rectangle room that was
divided by a similar, partial block wall into living room/kitchen, and
bedroom/bathroom. Between the kitchen and the tiny bathroom was a closet
with a water heater but room enough and more for my few clothes. As soon as
I could take off from work I went home, shipped my girly clothes back to my
apartment, and gave the wardrobe to my uncle. I never planned on coming
back.

I was so thrilled to hang my dresses and skirts up in my closet! They were
mine! And hanging right there in the closet for all to see! Not that anyone
could see them, and no one ever came over, but still the thought gave me a
thrill. I admired how they looked and moved them to the front of the closet
so I'd see them every time I opened the door. I then took the next couple
of days and immersed myself in femininity; staying dressed every second I
could when I was home. I finally tried on `my' wedding dress and it was
every bit as glorious as I had imagined. I tried out a fantasy where I was
a girl getting married and, not having any other guys around, chose Todd as
my fantasy husband. Nothing gay about it, mind you; he was just there to
supplement the real fantasy by giving me a reason to wear the dress. Things
were going along splendidly as I pretended to march down the isle, but then
went horribly wrong as I got carried away in the moment and pretended to
kiss my new husband.

Every time I dress up I invariably finish by masturbating, though my
ejaculations are almost non-existent. That time I almost didn't need to
touch myself as I very nearly came when I fantasized about kissing Todd. I
was so guilty I nearly tore my dress getting it off and once again cried
myself to sleep. I knew that I wasn't gay; I wouldn't allow myself to be
gay, so why did I have to be cursed to enjoy dressing like a woman so much?
It was natural that dressing would lead me towards that, I assumed, but men
kissing men no matter what they were wearing was sick and I simply wouldn't
allow it. I did, however, return to dressing the very next day though I was
more careful about my fantasies after that.

So my summer routine was set. I worked long hours every day at a variety of
minimum wage jobs but took Saturday mornings off so I could cruise the
local yard sales. If I was home, I dressed up or was asleep and eventually
began sleeping while dressed after I bought my first night gown. I bought a
single bed, though it was almost too big to fit into my `bedroom', and then
an old couch that was broken through on one end and likewise dominated my
TV-less living room. I slowly pieced together enough mismatched dishes and
pots and pans to make living possible. I also augmented my feminine
wardrobe and bought some wigs at yard sales though I rarely wore them and
even bought makeup from the Convenience store I worked at, ringing it up
when everyone else was on break. I worked with almost all women there and
they liked to take magazines from the rack like Glamour and Cosmo to read
on break. They rarely if ever returned them so they'd be there for me to
absorb when I took my break. I all but memorized them. Practicing with the
makeup became a nightly ritual and I never dressed without my breast
forms. All-in-all I was pretty happy, so long as I avoided thoughts of men
when I masturbated.

When the fall classes started I reenrolled and adjusted my work schedule to
compensate. I wasn't making as much money now but I had saved up some and
was able to get by. I chose my major; education, and loved the thought of
teaching a class of young kids while dressed as a woman. "We love you Miss
Priddy," they'd say. It made me very happy in my dreams. Todd came back to
school as well, after returning home for the summer. I saw him once as I
left the library. He smiled and waved. I walked home smiling like an
idiot. I didn't see him again for more than a week, and then not under the
best of circumstances.

It was a Friday evening and I was freshly showered and dressed in a light
pink sleeveless dress as I cleaned my apartment. It was light and airy and
perfect for a `girl' trying to keep cool as she worked. I still didn't work
on Saturdays and was preparing for a glorious night of being Megan when
there was a knock on my door.

No one had ever knocked on my door. Not a neighbor, not even the landlord;
I'd been anonymous since day one in my crummy little apartment. After
making sure the curtains and blinds were properly in place, all the
apartments opened up to the outside, I quietly eased over to my door and
look through the peephole, to find who else but Todd standing there. I
almost died!

He knocked again. This time he called my name. "Mark? You in there? I know
you are; your bike is here. I got something for you."

I said nothing, trembling in fear at being caught by Todd again. Perhaps I
had convinced him that the first time he had caught me in panties was
simply an aberration but if he found me here, now, wearing a dress he'd
truly know my secret. A secret I never wanted anyone else to know. I kept
silent, easing back from the door. He was persistent.

"Mark? I have a letter here from your uncle. He asked me to bring it to you
but I didn't know where you were living. Took me some time to find
you. Mark? Open the door and I'll give it to you."

I said nothing, standing still and trying not to breathe. We must have
stood that way for five minutes; he waiting for me to open the door, me
waiting for my heart to explode. I could only stare at the doorknob that I
only then realized was not locked. It seemed like hours before he spoke
again.

"Ok, I guess you're not home," he announced, though why he would say
anything if he believed that I couldn't imagine. "I'll leave the letter
here," he said, his voice muffled as he bent over and tried to slip the
envelope under the door. Finding that impossible, the gap was too narrow,
he mumbled something and then grabbed the doorknob, giving it a quick twist
he pushed the door open slightly and flipped the envelope inside where it
drifted lazily down to land atop my pink shoes. Almost he pulled the door
back closed to leave but belatedly, almost comically, realized what he had
seen. Pushing the door back open he followed my pink shoes up until he
looked me in the eye.

Chapter 4

"Hi, Mark," he said, giving me that familiar grin as he came into my
apartment. Bending down he picked up my uncle's letter and handed it to
me. "Sorry, I thought you weren't home. Here's a letter from your uncle; he
asked me to give it to you."

Stammering a `thanks' I dropped the dust rag I held and shakily took the
envelope, fixing my gaze on it as I trembled in fear. He'd caught me again,
and this time I knew he wouldn't let it pass without berating me somehow. I
couldn't have brought my gaze up to meet his if he'd held a gun.

"So how you been?" he asked. "I was surprised to hear that you didn't go
home for the summer. Your uncle wanted to write you, but the only address
he had was at the dorm, so he asked me to look you up."

Taking a step around me he looked over my tiny apartment. From there he
could see everything that wasn't in the bathroom, because the closet door
was standing open with my dresses on display. My bed was covered with
panties and clothes I had intended to try on later and there was little
doubt that my feminine wardrobe was much larger than my male one. I knew I
was dead. I couldn't say anything.

"Nice apartment," he laughed. "Well, not really but at least you have some
privacy. I've been accepted to a frat, so I'll be living there now." I
still couldn't comment. I'd heard about the frat; all the football players
on scholarship joined it after their freshman year. "In some ways, I envy
you having your own place. I sure get tired of stepping over people in my
own bedroom, and all the parties are ridiculous."

I still said nothing, though I did manage to lift my eyes.

"Can I borrow your bathroom," he asked, turning to meet my gaze with his
own. Were his eyes always so blue? I couldn't remember.

"Yes," I stammered, seeing that he was waiting for a response before
going. Throwing me his famous half-smile, known back in high school as the
`panty-peeler', he went into my bathroom and shut the door. Belatedly I
remembered that the sink was covered in makeup and two pairs of nylons were
hanging over the shower curtain. Shaking my head I realized that it didn't
matter; there was nothing else he might find that could embarrass me worse.

Shortly he left the bathroom and came back to where I still stood, facing
the front door and gripping the letter in my little fist; the pink of my
fingernails smudging on the paper. I'd been in a hurry and hadn't let them
dry properly. He towered over me, looking down on me in all my feminine
`glory'. He didn't even chuckle.

"Well I guess I should go," he said, "looks like you're busy cleaning
up. Stooping down he picked up my dust rag and handed it to me. "Maybe I'll
come by another time."

With a smile and a wave he left, pulling the door gently closed behind him.

My dreams were incredible that night. I spent all day Saturday awash in
guilt over them. Unconsciously I not only continued to remain dressed, but
wore my frilliest, sexist clothes. Once I realized what I was doing, I felt
even worse, but I didn't change.

Chapter 5

I went to the first football game of the season that Sunday and did
something that I had never done before. Underneath my regular clothes I
wore a pair of panties. I wasn't sure why; I'd always been scared to do it
before, but it felt wonderful to be out in public knowing what I was
wearing. Todd played a little, no more than a few plays, but I cheered for
him just the same. I didn't see him again for two weeks, but it was once
again a Friday night when I heard a knock on my door. After seeing him
through the peephole I swallowed my fear and just let him in; it was a
little late to worry about what he might think of my choice of
wardrobe. This night was one of my yard sale specials; a pleated white
skirt that hung to my knees and a white blouse that did little to hide the
lacey slip I was wearing beneath it. At least the slip concealed my bra,
though he had to know I was wearing one the way my B cup `breasts' were
pushing out the fabric of the blouse; my breast forms seeing daily use now.

"Hi Todd," I sighed, stepping back to let him in. He flashed me a `panty
peeler' and brushed past.

"What's up, Mark?" he asked, flopping onto the `good' end of my couch. "Not
house cleaning again are you?"

"No, just relaxing," I said, sweeping my skirt beneath me as I joined him
on the couch, consciously sitting as far from him as I could without
sliding off into the hole. He wanted something; his silence surely had a
price. He'd come back to blackmail me now, I was certain.

"You don't look relaxed," he smiled, leaning back and looking very
relaxed. "You look like you're not happy to see me."

I hesitated before speaking. "Todd you can see what I'm wearing and you
know I've been dressing like this for a long time. You know it's not just a
passing fad. I appreciate that you've never told on me but it makes me very
uncomfortable when you see me like this."

"Yeah and you're getting really good at it. You look dead-on like a girl,
dude."

Cutting my eyes towards him I thank him. "I know you're just being nice
Todd; I know I don't really look like a girl. I just want you know that I'm
not gay, ok?

Laughing he unabashedly met my timid gaze. "Gay or not gay, I don't
care. I'm not here to ask you out. You like dressing like a girl, that's
fine with me; and you do look good, whatever you want to believe. If I
didn't know you, I'd never guess that you're a guy."

Breathless and pleased I looked towards the floor and just grinned
stupidly. I wanted to thank him because I worked hard at being a girl but I
couldn't find the words. The thought that I might be going to pass out
flashed through my mind.

After a short pause he continued. "I came by to see if you wanted my old TV
set. I just got a new one and was going to sell it but then I remembered
you didn't have one." I pulled my eyes up from the ground to meet his
sparkling blue ones just as he asked, "Are you interested?"

Stammering I reminded him that I wasn't gay, causing him to laugh loudly.

"No, silly, are you interested in the TV?" he chortled.

"Oh," I said, my face glowing with embarrassment. "I suppose, if it works
and it's not too expensive," I managed, tearing my eyes from his and
lowering them accidentally to pause at his lap, then on to his shoes. Why
had I looked at his lap?

"Great, I'll go get it. It does work, though the colors are kind of off,
but it won't cost you anything."

Ignoring my protests over him giving it away for nothing he dropped me
another panty-peeler and went out the door. Shortly he returned and easily
carried the large, old set in though it was almost too wide to fit through
the door. He was amazingly strong, particularly in comparison to me. It had
to be from the early seventies if not older but he plugged it up and proved
to me that it worked fine. The colors seemed to be primarily blue but since
our TV growing up had been a black and white I was enormously pleased to
have it.

"Are you sure I can't pay you for it?" I gushed, my emotional roller
coaster leaving me almost giddy.

"Nah, I don't want your money," he laughed. "Just let me come over and hang
out some times, so I can get away from that monkey house I live in."

"Sure, but, you know I like to dress... like this..." I stammered. "If you
let me know when you're coming, I can have on my regular clothes so you
won't be uncomfortable."

Again he shared a laugh and flashed his cute grin. "Don't change clothes on
my account. I think you look great. You dress however you want; I won't
mind."

Overwhelmed at the thought of someone, anyone, coming around to see me,
much less seeing me dressed as a woman, nearly took my breath again. I
never thought that it would be possible to have someone accept me as I was,
without judging me. Almost, I came very, very close, to throwing my arms
around his neck and giving him a hug. I managed to alter my momentum into a
squeeze of his arm as I thanked him.

Chapter 6

Football season being as hectic as it is Todd didn't come over again for
almost three weeks. Two straight away games were followed by an
unseasonably cold home game that was played on a Thursday night. I went to
the game, naturally, and was able to get a really good seat because the
crowd was smaller than normal. Since I was able to wear a coat I treated
myself to not only wearing panties but also a bra, though I left my falsies
at home. So scared was I that even though I found myself sweating beneath
the big coat, I kept it on, petrified that someone would see my bra
straps. Todd saw me in the third quarter and waved from the sidelines. I
can't remember if we won or not. The very next evening he came to see me.

I was just starting supper when he knocked. I was wearing a cute little
one-piece outfit that combined a bib overall top with a jean skirt. I was
wearing a tight white tee that clearly revealed my lacy bra and the bib
pockets hung low while the galluses ran to either side of my breasts giving
the illusion that they were bursting out of the top. If Ellie-Mae Clampett
wore skirts this is the outfit she'd have worn. I'd just shaved my legs so
even if I say so myself; I looked good. I'd spent hours getting ready and
knew that I looked damn cute. Todd complemented me right away.

"Damn, you're hot hillbilly girl," he said. My hands were clasped behind me
as I smiled up at him pushing out my breasts at his admiring gaze. He was
really my only friend and to hear him compliment me at the only thing I was
any good at made me feel wonderful. He surprised me when he reached out a
finger and pushed on my left breast.

"Are those real?" he asked. Shocked, I could only shake my head.

"No, they're not," I finally replied, vowing in my heart at that moment
that I would find a way to make them real and thinking for the first time
in years about my genetic disorder.

Nodding he gave the same breast a good squeeze. "They sure feel real," he
marveled, running a finger over the bump on the very tip. "I mean; that
sure feels like a nipple."

Hardly able to breath from the emotions running through me I stammered that
they were fake breasts and had built-in nipples then tried to change the
subject. Obviously I didn't mention that my real nipples were suddenly so
hard they almost hurt. My face was red and I was so flustered I blurted out
what was supposed to be a joke.

"Well you can't just grab one without making the other one jealous," I
said, immediately regretting my words. His spontaneous grasping of the one,
even though it wasn't really a part of me, had sent a shockwave through my
body to that place hidden inside my panties. I wasn't sure how I felt about
that, I wasn't gay after all, but my `joke' now made it sound as if I was
asking him to touch me.

"Oh, sorry," he laughed, gently give my other breast equal attention. It
felt almost as good as the first time. Trembling, I looked up into his eyes
as he held my breast, feeling very weak and vulnerable; as well as close to
orgasm. Still smiling he finally released his touch and moved to drop onto
the couch.

I quickly finished the meal, for which he enthusiastically complemented me
for my cooking skills. I thanked him of course but how can you ruin a meal
of soup and salad? We took our time eating as we caught up on the details
of our recent lives and then moved to the couch to watch TV. I sat near the
hole as to give him the arm rest but somehow he inadvertently sat closer to
me than he meant to and we ended up virtually hip to hip. He apologized and
eased away but only a fraction of an inch. I decided to be a good hostess
and not complain, but instead leaned back and tried to concentrate on the
show. For some reason I couldn't get into it, though Todd sure seemed to
enjoy it.

During a commercial he looked at me, I just happened to be looking at him
at that moment so our eyes met, and thoughtfully he asked, "You know, I
feel odd calling you Mark when I come over. You don't look anything like a
`Mark'. Don't you have another name I could use so I don't feel weird?"

Concerned, I asked, "I didn't know you felt weird around me. I told you I
don't have to dress like this if it makes you uncomfortable." I was
suddenly on the verge of panic. Todd was my only friend; I had no one else
in the whole world except a seventy-five year old uncle who rarely
spoke. If my dressing like a girl made him uncomfortable it was only a
matter of time before he drifted away.

"Are you crazy? I love how you look," Todd said, giving me a panty
peeler. "I've told you that you make one amazingly beautiful woman. I just
thought you might have a girl name to go with your girl self. But if you
want to just be Mark..."

All I heard was that he thinks I'm beautiful. He had to repeat himself
before I manage to stammer out my girl-name; one I'd only decided on that
week.

"Megan... my girl-name is Megan."

Smiling again he leaned back, sitting so close that we were touching all
along our sides. "Megan it is then. You look like a Megan."

Chapter 7

I'd always been a quiet boy and one prone to spats of melancholy. My
periodic dressing as a girl would make me happier, though after my orgasm
the inevitable guilt would hit me and I'd be even more depressed than
ever. After Todd started to call me Megan the guilt seemed to wash away; he
accepted me for who I was, at least the part-time me that never left my
apartment. For some unknown reason my dreams were particularly intense
during that period of my life and always involved Todd kissing me or
holding me, even lifting my top to kiss my breasts, but they failed to
spark much guilt. I would wake up with his kisses still burning on my lips
and reject the guilt; accepting the dreams as simply unconscious reactions
to my dressing up and nothing to worry about. I knew that I wasn't gay,
after all, and if I had a few dreams... well, I wasn't hurting anyone. I
knew that one day I would meet the right girl and my urge to dress would go
away so a few dreams now meant nothing.

It was also during this time that I began researching a way to enhance my
natural breasts in some manner, or to be truthful, I put more serious
effort into it. I'd long thought that it would be wonderful to have real
breasts but Todd touching me had become a game with us; he'd sneak up
behind me in my apartment and reach around to grab them both, then pretend
to apologize because he didn't realize that I wasn't a real
woman. Sometimes I'd stand there with his arms around me, his hands clamped
to my breasts as we laughed and feel my body demanding that I make the
breasts real. Nothing that couldn't be reversed, of course; I didn't want
to become a woman, just enhance the joy I received from my pastime.

Breast enhancement surgery was an option, except for the cost and the fact
that everyone involved would know that I was a guy. But it was
reversible. I'd learned of several herbal substances that would help but at
this time I really looked into the details. The side effects concerned me
but the worst seemed to be a slight feminization of the body and loss of
body hair. I wasn't too concerned about those, being small and feminine
looking even when I didn't dress up. Estrogen seemed promising but I had no
ready supply of that, so I went with an herbal concoction of various things
and brewed them into a tea that I drank twice a day. It didn't taste great
but I learned to tolerate it. It was a few weeks before I noticed anything
but over time I became confident that I was slowly on my way to having my
own breasts. Wouldn't Todd be surprised when he grabbed a handful of the
real things!

By the end of the football season Todd and I were spending more time
together. He'd come over most nights and we'd study together. I tutored him
on grammar and spelling and he'd help me with math. I'm terrible at
math. We'd move the TV to the floor and drag my tiny desk, the only place I
had to put the TV, over to the couch and we'd scoot up next to one another
and hit the books. My grades, never a strong point, suddenly showed
improvement and I had to admit to myself that studying had never been so
much fun. So long as Todd was there to help me, I'd gladly study all night.

It was after completing one such marathon study-fest that Todd broke my
couch, or at least made it worse. He'd just put my TV back on the desk and
flopped down on the sofa near the end with the hole. He broke straight
through, halving the part of the couch that was still capable of being sat
on. I fell on him twice trying to pull him out and he took both
opportunities to paw at me. We laughed so hard I almost peed myself. He'd
always made fun of my couch but I couldn't afford anything better. After
that we were almost sitting atop one another when we watched TV. Sometimes
one of us would sit on the floor and lean back on the other's legs. That
was nice, but I preferred to share because it was so much more
comfortable. Todd, being so muscular and wide at the shoulders had to put
one arm across the back of the couch to give me room to squeeze in next to
him. We discussed his putting it around my shoulders, he was afraid I would
be offended, and finally decided that just draping his arm around me
wouldn't hurt anything; we were just two good friends watching TV. I had to
admit that it was more comfortable; that way I could scoot in real close to
him and not have to hang out over the hole.

Other than going out drinking with his friends from the frat, Todd was at
my apartment whenever I was in those days. I still worked a lot of hours
but would rush home to get ready for him as soon as I could. He always gave
me an hour or so to prepare and looking extra nice for him became another
game for us. My only regret from those days was Todd's drinking. He and his
frat buddies were really overdoing it. Friday evenings and most of the day
Saturday were ours and Todd usually managed to drop by the other days, but
his frat was famous for their parties and he was always willing to
partake. He never was drunk around me, though, at least not in those
days. He managed to get into some trouble but nothing serious. I got into
trouble as well, though it was minor and entirely of my own making.

It was a Thursday afternoon. My last class ended at noon so I went to work
at the convenience store from one to four so another girl could go to a
doctor's appointment. I was supposed to work from seven to close at the
restaurant so I hurried home to get ready for Todd's arrival at five. He
was bringing takeout and we were going to have a quick meal together before
I had to get ready again for work.

Knowing that I only had a few moments I didn't get all dolled up but just
jumped into the shower, taking care to keep my hair dry, and then threw on
a matching set of black panties and bra, with breast forms in place of
course though they were starting to get tight now that my teas were having
a slight effect. Then I fixed my makeup and pulled on a simple black dress
that barely came to mid-thigh before throwing my hair up into a pony
tail. Todd liked pony tails and they certainly were easy. Grabbing a pair
of black flats I walked into the living room when Todd knocked on the
door. Smiling that he was early I threw open the door to reveal myself to
only the third person who had ever seen me dressed as a girl. It wasn't
Todd; it was my landlord.

Mr. Williams was a quiet, elderly man who never seemed to leave his
apartment on the first floor. He spoke gently to me when I paid the rent
and if he needed to tell me something specific invariably just dropped a
note in my mailbox. Now he was staring at me while I was wearing a dress
entirely `too short for company', as my mother might have said. In that
instant my sweet old landlord turned into a depraved old pervert as his
eyes locked on my legs.

"Hello, Miss," he said, dragging out the `o' in `hello'. "I didn't realize
young Mark had a visitor. Are you his girlfriend?" he asked, stepping into
the apartment without being invited.

"No," I stammered, involuntarily stepping back as he barged in.

"No?" he chuckled, his eyes trailing up to focus on my breasts. "Then why
are you in his apartment?"

My mind didn't always work particularly well in stressful situations. I
searched for some reason why Megan should be found in Mark's apartment when
I noticed the remnant of mine and Todd's meal from the night before still
scattered across my kitchen table. Picking up the dirty dishes I put them
in the sink and turned on the water.

"I'm Mark's sister, Megan. He pays me to clean up for him," I lied, adding
some dishwashing liquid. As the water ran I picked up a sneaker from the
floor and carried it to the closet.

"Oh, you don't have a boyfriend?" the pervert said, apparently ignoring my
explanation as he came closer with an odd gleam in his old eyes. "Pretty
little thing like you ought to have a boyfriend."

Again I was scrambling for a response. I was really getting scared.

"I didn't say that I don't have a boyfriend," I explain, darting around the
landlord to get back into the kitchen to turn off the water. "I said that
Mark wasn't my boyfriend."

"And who would that be?" he asked, moving to stand between me and the
door. I could swear that he was staring right through my dress.

What other name could I have thought of in such a stressful situation?
"Todd Hammond is my boyfriend," I blurted.

"That's right, old timer, she's my girlfriend," Todd said, his powerful
frame blocking out the light from the open doorway as he stepped
inside. His usual smile was different now; not the panty peeler I so
enjoyed but something more feral; more dangerous.

Mr. Williams immediately lost his predatory gleam as he dropped a letter on
the table and darted from the apartment. "Make sure young Mark gets that,"
he mumbled as he left.

I stood there after he was gone, holding myself and trembling. Todd closed
the door and came to me, taking me in his arms and holding me as I cried.

"I was so scared," I snuffled after a long while. I felt comforted there in
his embrace and held him tight so he wouldn't step back. Not yet.

"He's gone, don't worry about him. I'll have a little talk with him when I
leave; he won't bother you again," Todd whispered, squeezing me to his
thick chest. I stayed there in his embrace until I couldn't pretend to cry
anymore and then stepped back, thanking Todd for his timely arrival and his
reassurance.

Todd didn't say anything, just looked down at me with his panty-peeling
smile on full display beneath the most beautiful blue eyes I could ever
imagine. That tiny part of my remaining maleness, pushed back between my
legs as usual, was rigid from the closeness to Todd and my fears were now a
memory as I looked up at him. We stood that way for long minutes as my
trembling eased and my body, most of it anyway, lost its tenseness.

Looking down as he held me Todd started to chuckle until his spell of
maleness finally lost its hold over my feminized self. Punching him lightly
on the chest I still didn't step away from the circle of his arms.

"What's so funny?" I demand.

He still didn't immediately answer. Finally he chuckled, "So I'm your
boyfriend?"

Chapter 8

So now we had a new joke. Todd would laughingly refer to himself as my
boyfriend and I would laugh along, calling him `sweetie', or `honey'. My
dreams certainly didn't take it with the same humor that we did and in my
nightly adventures Todd and I became very intimate. I took solace at the
thought that it was, after all, just a harmless joke between friends. The
letter brought by the landlord? A notice that my rent was being raised by
$10 a month.

It was just after this event that I learned of a new research project being
started on campus. One of the professors was going to research a new sports
drink and wanted to study the effects on long-distance runners. I applied
for the job as one of the research subjects and was chosen, provided I
passed a physical. I was rarely sick and although I didn't run much now I
was good at it before. I didn't think for a moment that the physical would
be so thorough. You guessed it; I failed some blood tests.

"It's nothing that means life or death," Dr. Phelps explained, almost
mimicking the words my childhood doctor back home had used years
before. You have a disorder known as Hypogonadism, caused by Klinefelter's
syndrome."

I had almost forgotten about that. Mom said the doctor was exaggerating the
issue and it had never been a problem for me; I didn't want body hair and
couldn't care less about a deeper voice, but the news made me think of my
mom, which upset me a little. He offered the same testosterone treatments
my family doctor had and urged me to start them as soon as possible. I
thanked the doctor and told him I'd come back the next week to tell him of
my decision but I didn't go back. Starting that evening I doubled my intake
of the tea.

Chapter 9

Christmas was wonderful even though Todd had to return home. We had a small
dinner at my place the evening before he left and exchanged presents. I
bought him a nice shirt; it was a soft blue that really set off his
eyes. He bought me a bracelet with little silver hearts on it, along with
three pairs of nylons, explaining that, "You look too good in nylons and
don't wear them often enough." He was already gone home to visit his family
when I found the engraving inside the bracelet.

"To my girlfriend."

Talk about your erotic dreams. I barely slept for days after that; each
time my eyes closed I would find myself in Todd's arms, his naked body atop
my own; his kisses lighting me on fire. When he next came to see me I met
him at the door with a fierce hug and held him close for a long time. When
finally I pulled back he asked, "What was that for?"

"Can't a girl hug her boyfriend?" I replied. We shared a laugh at our
little joke, but my heart was pounding with joy.

Chapter 10

In mid January Todd surprised me again. We were snuggled up together
watching an old movie on my blurry TV, his left arm around my shoulder as I
basked in the warmth of his body. We had a blanket over us as the concrete
walls of my apartment were chilly at the best of times. Sometimes I had to
remind myself that all of our talk of boyfriend and girlfriend were just a
game. I knew I wasn't gay but sometimes I would forget when I hugged him
hello or goodbye or when he held me to prevent my falling into the hole in
my couch that I really wasn't a girl. It felt good; comfortable, but I knew
it was nothing but fantasy. Todd, I knew, was still dating girls and his
campus conquests were well known. Still, he always made time for me and our
friendship was strong.

"Why don't we go to a movie next Friday night?" he asked.

"I guess we could," I reply, turning to look up at him. "But you know I'm a
stay-at-home type of person."

He shifted his weight slightly, accidentally pulling me in a little closer
to him. "Well Megan needs a night out; she stays at home too much."

Frightened I sat upright, catching his eyes. "No, Todd! You know I can't go
out as Megan! What if someone saw me? I'd die!"

His smile was as electric as ever. "No one would know you're not a girl. I
forget myself sometimes. I don't know how you pass as a guy, anymore," he
patted my arm to calm my outbreak. "Look, I understand your feelings and
I've put a lot of thought into this. Will you hear me out?"

"Yes Todd, I'll listen," I said, leaning my head back down on his arm. I
couldn't look him in the eye; there was no way he could talk me into
leaving my apartment as Megan.

"Thank you. I won't even dwell on your landlord's reaction to you; or how I
see you myself. You pass easily as a woman but you won't accept that so
I'll skip it."

Pleased despite my misgivings, I adored hearing Todd saying that I looked
so convincing.

"You know the drive-in theater in Greenville?" he asked, not waiting for my
answer. It was about twenty miles away and one of the last drive-ins in the
state. "They show a double feature that starts after dark. We stay here
until the sun goes down. I'll take the bulb out of your outside light and
I'll park there by the back stairs. We throw a big coat over you and drive
straight there. We get to the drive-in in time for the second feature, park
in the back and we never leave the car. No one would ever see you and Megan
would get a night out. What do you think?"

I carefully explained all the reasons why I couldn't possibly do what he
wanted. My arguments were well thought out and rational and I was confident
in my ability to sway him. He kept smiling at me and his big blue eyes soon
trapped mine and my words trailed off into nothing. At least he helped me
pick out my outfit.

Things went well, though I thought my heart was going to explode from
fear. I wore a dark blue dress that went to mid-calf with a longer woman's
coat and a scarf over my head. Todd removed the bulb from the light by my
apartment door and we hurried down the concrete steps to the back parking
lot that few people ever used. I darted into the car and hunkered down; I
never did calm down during the whole ride. Todd laughed at me the whole
way. I kept my face averted at the ticket booth and then we were inside and
parked well away from the other cars. Despite my fear I felt excited; Megan
was finally outside!

We got there a little early and watched the end of the first movie. It was
a kid's movie and kind of silly. After the intermission, that I spent
slumped down in the floorboard, the lights went out again and the main
feature came on so I resettled into my seat and tried to relax enough to
enjoy the show.

It was cold despite the car's heater and Todd noticed that I was shivering
so he lifted the armrest to make the front seat into a bench and motioned
for me to slide over next to him. I snuggled up to him but felt no warmth
through our mutual coats. He must have noticed I was still shivering so he
made some adjustments by opening his coat and allowing me to slide inside
and he hooked my legs and lifted them up to rest over his knees. Then we
took my coat and draped it over us. I was so warm and toasty I immediately
began to relax. This was the same position we always watched movies in at
home, though I was snuggled up to his right side rather than the left I was
used to. I decided that either was okay. Soon I was enjoying the movie, and
wrapped my arms around him inside our coat-cocoon and gave him a thank you
hug.

"You were right, Todd, this is great," I said, smiling up at him. He just
smiled back and gave me a good squeeze.

I felt so wonderful and relaxed and despite a good movie fell fast asleep;
not for long I don't think, maybe fifteen or twenty minutes. Something
funny happened and Todd chuckled and that's what brought me back to
consciousness. I went through a blissful moment where I wasn't sure where I
was but absolutely didn't want to move and ruin the ecstasy I was
feeling. Slowly my situation returned to me and I knew that my head was
pillowed on Todd's chest and my left arm was wrapped around his back. My
legs were still draped over his knees and my right hand was wresting on his
lap.

And that's when I really woke up. My hand had drifted while asleep and now
my wrist was resting atop a very firm, very masculine lump rising within
Todd's pants. He had an erection, caused by something in the movie no
doubt! And I was almost touching it! If my hand had slipped two, maybe
three inches more at the most, I would be holding him in my hand. I slipped
one eye open and saw the reason for the erection; there was a nude girl's
locker room scene showing and all the sluts on the screen were
topless. What a terrible movie! I wished Todd would start the car so we
could leave right then!

This definitely wasn't what I wanted, but I didn't know what to do. If I
moved my hand Todd would know that I was awake and might suspect that I had
been awake all along and intentionally touched his cock! If I stayed where
I was, I would be intentionally touching his dick. Todd wouldn't know, but
I would. Unsure and conflicted, I stayed still and kept my breathing
steady, hoping that I could just fall back asleep and forget the whole
thing but that wasn't going to happen. I was so aware of his erection that
it was all I could think of; it felt like it was burning into my wrist. My
body reacted to the turmoil and my own little cock was straining to escape
its restraints; not from touching Todd's cock, just from the fear and
stress. My nipples were hard as well, and trying to chew their way out from
beneath my breast forms. Another ten minutes went by as I held perfectly
still; trying to ignore the firmness beneath my wrist as I mentally
struggled with what I should do next. Todd chose for me.

"Damn," he mumbled, suddenly shifting his weight. He then reached beneath
his coat and gently moved my hand aside, then shifted again as he adjusted
his manhood to a more comfortable angle. Next he retook my limp hand and
placed it back on his lap, but this time he put the palm of my hand
directly on his dick, groaning as he squeezed my hand so that my fingers
squeezed him.

"Oh yeah," he sighed, easing his seat back. Petrified I sat very still,
cupping and holding his dick as I continued to pretend to be asleep. I was
barely breathing, I was so scared. Or maybe it was excitement; but that
couldn't be true. "You awake?" Todd whispered. I didn't respond. "Thought
you were awake," he mumbled. "Kind of takes the humor out of it," he
added. So, placing my hand on his cock had been a joke and he had expected
me to jerk it away immediately but I had missed my chance. I should have
pretended to wake up then, using his words as an excuse, but I didn't. I
continued to feign slumber and left my hand right where it was for the rest
of the movie and suffered mixed emotions when the show ended.

"Wake up Megan," Todd said, nudging me gently. Reluctantly I released my
grip and sat up, blinking sleepily as I helped him readjust his seat for
the drive home. We were more than halfway there before I realized that I
hadn't slid back over to my seat, but was instead still snuggled up to
him. Not wanting to draw attention to my lapse I just stayed there. He'd
think I was still sleepy.

Darting back up to my apartment was anticlimactic and I was disappointed
that my adventure was over. I gave Todd a very enthusiastic hug once we
were safe and thanked him for taking me. He just smiled.

"We'll do it again soon," he promised, squeezing me back, then `honking'
one breast and then the other. "I can't remember when I've enjoyed a movie
more."

Leaning back I gave him a playful slap across the chest. "I bet, with all
those topless cheerleaders running around," I stated, pretending to scowl
up at him. Then I remembered that I was supposed to be asleep during that
scene. Todd's smile said it all; he'd just caught me.

"Yeah, well. I like girls," he said, dropping me a panty-peeler before one
last hug goodnight. I was too embarrassed to say anything.

Chapter 11

It was only a few days after my movie adventure that a package arrived for
me in Mark's name. I had discovered mail-order catalogues and my wardrobe
had expanded exponentially. This package, however, was special.

All of my bras were `B' cup to match my breast forms but since I began
drinking my special herbal tea I had noticed that my tiny chest bumps had
begun to expand slightly. Now the cups of my bras were so full that my
forms were bursting from the top. After careful measurements I decided that
my natural bust had finally reach a full A cup, so I had ordered some new
A-cup bras to celebrate.

Excitedly I slid one of the bras up my arms and fastened it; then adjusted
it over my breasts. For the first time in my life I was wearing a bra that
actually fit! It was my own breasts that filled the cups! The way my
cleavage was bulging, I was even over-filling them, as if I were larger
than an A. I could feel ever glorious inch of my bra; not just the straps!
It was amazing and I couldn't wait to surprise Todd with my `natural'
look. My tiny cock immediately responded, which was becoming a rare event.

That worried me, of course. I still enjoyed orgasms, naturally, and didn't
want my penis to stop working completely. In the month previous I could
count on one hand the number of serious erections I had had, and none of
those were related to actual sexual acts. My fantasies had always been
familiar and tried and true; but not anymore. I would picture a woman
dressed in a similar outfit as I was wearing and with just a few
two-fingered strokes I would be finished. Suddenly I found myself sporting
a `reverse woody', as I called them, without even thinking of a woman.

Peeling back my panties I peeked down at my hairless crotch, seeing nothing
of course. Whenever I dressed as Megan I always pushed my dick back between
my legs; my miniature testicles were barely there and of no consequence,
and I kept my dick there by pulling my panties up tight. A few days before
the movie date I had given up on my boy-briefs altogether and began wearing
panties full-time, always being careful to wear low-rise panties and
high-rise pants in class or at work. From that point on my cock remained
pushed back between my legs pretty much all the time and since it rarely if
ever got hard, it wasn't uncomfortable. Even erect it stayed back out of
the way, though it wasn't quite as comfortable. But why had I gotten hard
at that moment?

I tried to think back; to see what stimuli were common to my most recent
erections. I'd had one at the movies when I was curled up on Todd's lap,
and the most erotic thing about that were the many naked girls in the
locker room scene; but none of those girls had been even remotely
attractive. The others had been more difficult to pin-point. Once had been
while I was sitting on my couch with Todd but were just watching a game
show, so no topless girls there. And this latest one was undoubtedly
because of the glorious feelings from filling a bra for the first time, but
that wasn't really erotic. Perhaps it was a chemical imbalance thing; it
just happened when it happened and no outward stimuli had any effect.

But now I had a new problem; my breasts were undoubtedly there and had to
be dealt with if I was going to keep Megan a secret from those who knew
Mark. I loathed binding them down; I'd just gotten them! But figured I
wouldn't have to so long as the weather was cold. A good, thick jacket
would work wonders until the warm weather forced me to decide. Almost I was
tempted to start wearing a bra beneath my coats but was concerned about the
straps being seen if I bent or stretched.

Todd was supposed to come over that next Sunday for our Valentine's Day
supper so I was working on planning my outfit. We originally hadn't planned
on anything as he was going out on a date with his latest squeeze, Dalia,
but they had unexpectedly broken up over something. I had to work most of
the day but had managed to exchange shifts at the restaurant so I could be
home that evening. Todd said that he had a present for me since I'm his
girlfriend and it's Valentine's Day. I laughed, knowing that whatever he
gave me would be whatever he had planned on giving Dalia, but that was
okay. I liked feeling like a girl and a gift like that would be
nice. Anything to get rid of Dalia; she wasn't at all right for Todd. It
wasn't like I had any romantic notions about Todd; but a box of candy or
flowers would be fun. That was the night I planned on unveiling my new
boobs.

Well not unveiling as in showing them to him. I was going to wear an outfit
that showed enough cleavage to proudly show Todd my new attributes and
enjoy the surprise on his face. Just the thought of his surprise made my
nipples hard; it would be a really good joke on him!

The new bra I was wearing would be the start of my outfit, along with the
matching panties. They were black, lacey, and very thin. The bra itself was
on the verge of being see-through but I wasn't concerned about that; I
wasn't going to take off my top. I had a new set of black stockings with
garters too and of course had to try them on with my black heels. Standing
in front of my full-length mirror I was amazed at how good I looked. My
nipples were just barely visible and my ass looked amazing. It was funny; I
didn't have an erection any longer though I was honestly excited by the way
I looked. At least I didn't have one until someone knocked on the door;
then I began sporting my finest though of course it was hidden between my
legs.

Todd wasn't due over that day so I admit; I panicked a little as I crossed
to the front door. It was locked, thank goodness; I kept it that way now
that Todd had his own key. Quietly I stood on tiptoe to look out the peep
hole and saw that my visitor was someone I didn't know. At least; I wasn't
certain.

He was taller than the peephole and had blonde hair. He was handsome too,
as best I could tell in the distorted image. As I was looking he knocked
again, causing me to jump back a foot. Holding my breath I simply waited
him out; there was no way I was opening that door.

"Guess no one's home," I heard the guy say. Another male voice
replied. "Well this is where he always comes to; I've seen him."

They continued to talk as they walked away. Who had they come to see? Me or
Todd? I didn't know the one that I had seen and knew of no reason he'd know
me, but what of the other man? Feeling more bold than usual I snatched a
dressing gown off its hanger and hurried to the door. At this time of day
there shouldn't be anyone around and if I was quick I could step out the
door, take three or four steps down the breezeway, and see the men as they
walked across the front parking lot. Maybe I'd recognize the second man and
be able to figure out what was going on.

Easing the door open I looked both directions. Seeing no one I stepped
slowly outside, my heart pounding like a drum, and as quietly as I could
stepped around the corner and into the breezeway; almost walking into the
two men as they stood there talking.

Nope; I didn't know either one of them.

"Damn," the blond man said, stepping back and looking down at the gap in my
dressing gown. Snatching it closed I fled back around the corner and into
my apartment as the men laughed at me.

With the door shut and the lock engaged I leaned against the portal and
began to sob. They'd seen me and soon my secret would be out. I'd have to
leave school, quit my jobs, move; my life, which was only just now worth
living, was over.

"Told you Todd had him a squeeze up here," the blond guy was saying.

The second man, a freckled kid with red hair, laughed. "And what a squeeze!
She was fuckin' hot!"

"Did you see those tits bouncing when she came around the corner?" the
blond said, his voice trailing away as they left.

Chapter 12

They were friends of Todd's; fellow football players to be precise. They'd
gone back to the dorm and bragged that they'd seen the girlfriend he kept
hidden away up here, expecting to have a little fun at Todd's expense but
he just laughed at them.

"They were just jealous," he told me. "Either one would give their left nut
to be with a woman as sexy as you."

Glad as I was to have passed another test, it worried me that so many
people now knew of Megan and where she lived. Only a couple of people knew
where Mark lived, and only Todd and landlord had been here to see him, but
the more pieces of the puzzle that got out the sooner someone would put
them together.

But the things they had said! My tits were bouncing? My little A-cup boobs?
I was `hot'? You can imagine the effect those words had on my dreams. They
had a different effect as well; I knew then I had to wear a bra full-time
or start binding my breasts down. They did indeed have some bounce to them;
more than I could hide under a work smock or an apron. I even began to
wonder if someone might have already noticed.

Valentines Day was amazing. Todd showed up wearing a suit and tie and there
wasn't a girl alive who wouldn't respond to him, looking like that. If I
was gay I'd have raped him on my doorstop but as his friend I simply met
him with a big smile and gave him an enthusiastic hug. He brought me
flowers and his eyes almost popped out when he saw my cleavage when I
stepped back.

"Where did those come from?" He demanded, smiling. Before I could respond
he thrust a finger into my cleavage and hooked my bra, pulling me back to
him. Stumbling a little at the unexpected move I had to throw my arms
around his waist as my breasts were pushed up against him. His finger felt
like a firebrand from where it nestled; firmly touching the sides of both
breasts.

"They're mine," I stated proudly, giving him a long look down my cleavage,
hoping he wouldn't ever move his finger.

He did eventually move his finger, but not until I promised to give him a
good feel of my breasts. I put my flowers in a vase and joined him on the
couch and he took a good five minutes to cup and feel them through my
dress, finally pronouncing them as perfect. Out of breath from his touch, I
nearly came, it took me some time to explain about my herbal teas but I
don't think he was interested in the details; he just asked if he could see
them.

Laughing I told him no and we moved on to eat our dinner. I offered to
listen if he wanted to talk about his breakup with Dalia, but he refused.

"Nope, tonight is just about me and my real girlfriend," he joked. I beamed
with pleasure. I was wearing the bracelet he gave me and enjoyed that joke
as much as he did. I gave him his present after dinner; a new
wristwatch. He then excused himself and went down to his car, bringing back
a large package for me.

Flabbergasted I immediately opened it. Todd stopped me, saying that he was
a little nervous about giving me the present.

"Why?" I demanded, anxious to see my gift. The box was huge.

"Because I've never bought an outfit for anyone before, much less for my
girlfriend. I don't know if you'll like it and I don't know if it'll even
fit."

Smiling like a fool at the `girlfriend' joke I said, "Don't worry about
that! I'm sure I'll love it. If it's the wrong size, we can just exchange
it."

Again he stopped me from opening the paper. "Look, I'm still a little
nervous. Promise me this; if I give this to you, will you at least model it
for me? I want to see you wearing it even if you never wear it again."

"Of course," I laughed. He pulled his hands back and I tore the paper from
the box and lifted the top, finding the box absolutely filled with paper. I
started throwing the paper out, looking for the present as Todd looked at
me and laughed. Just as I began to believe the box was empty, just another
elaborate joke, I found the present.

It was a negligee. It was white, it was see-through, and it had a matching
breast-baring corset with white stockings. It was the sexiest thing I'd
ever seen and I had already promised to wear it for Todd.

Chapter 13

Thankfully Todd agreed to take a rain check on my modeling as we weren't
going to have time tonight, plus my heart had stopped and I
hyper-ventilated when I saw the outfit. He made jokes about how easy I was
to trick and I tried to laugh and before he left he'd talked me into going
out with him again once the drive-in theater opened up in the
spring. Apparently they weren't open year-round. He had me so confused I
would have agreed to anything he said right then; modeling that white
outfit for him was all I could think of. It was both the most frightening
and exciting thing I had ever considered.

My dreams that night were a mixed bag of being fucked by Todd like a woman
to waking fantasies of just being seen by him in the new outfit that
blended together to the point that I couldn't separate them. I awoke
exhausted, stumbled through my classes and showed up to work at the
convenience store with my eyes blurry, but I really didn't feel sleepy;
only terribly distracted.

About an hour into my shift I was waiting on a man who looked familiar;
most people in the town pass through the store eventually, and then he
recognized me.

"Oh, you're Mark, right? Mark Priddy? You tried out for my case study on
the sports drink, didn't you?"

I knew him then. The doctor who had given me the physical.

"Yes, that was me," I said, smiling. I hoped he wouldn't bring up the
reason that I had failed; not here where anyone could hear. "Sorry I
couldn't help you Dr. Phelps."

He waved my apology away. "No problem; that sort of thing happens. Look; I
thought of you yesterday and was going to try to find you, so I'm glad to
run into you. There's another study starting up; a colleague of mine has
the grant. You would be a perfect case study for it, if you're interested."

Suddenly wary of what he might say I nodded and began waiting on the next
customer in line. "I might be interested, but I can't really talk about it
now. Perhaps I could come by your office?"

"Fine," he smiled, gathering up his gas receipt and sliding a business card
over to me. "I'll see you then."

Chapter 14

The next Friday night Todd talked Megan into a drive around town. We stayed
on back roads and I was glued to his side in fear, but everything went
ok. No one had even a chance to see me and by the time we made the mad dash
back up to my apartment I had loosened up enough to giggle about
it. Thankfully Todd gave me a little more time before calling me on my
modeling debut so all-in-all it was a wonderful night.

My appointment with the doctor was for that next Tuesday. I had just enough
time to go between classes. I was a little early but the receptionist
brought me straight back to his office. Shaking my hand Dr. Phelps asked me
to sit.

"Mark I understand that you need to get to class so I'll just lay it out
for you. My colleague, Dr Thomas Josten, is starting up a study at
UCLA. His grant is for the study of a very specific disorder and the
psychology behind those who have it. Hypogonadism, caused by Klinefelter's
syndrome is very rare and it proved to be impossible for him to find enough
people that qualify even in Los Angeles, so he's contacted other
universities to help. You are the only person I know who has this
disorder."

Naturally I was a little nervous but I knew that these studies generally
paid well, so I nodded for him to continue.

"The study is divided into two categories. One is for those who have the
disorder and choose to take testosterone treatments and those who choose to
take estrogen and so enhance the effects of the disorder."

"But doctor," I protest, slightly embarrassed and confused. "I don't take
either of those."

He smiled. "Don't you? I know you didn't take me up on the testosterone
treatments I offered but it's obvious to me that you have taken
estrogen. Even in the few weeks since I saw you last I can tell, though I
am a physician and more attuned to such things than others."

I protested of course, but he had me and he knew it. I started to cry. My
tea wasn't exactly estrogen but they did have a similar, though lesser,
effect.

"Please don't do that," he said, coming around the desk to pat me on the
shoulder, offering me a Kleenex from the box on his desk. "I'm not judging
you, just making you a business offer. One that, I think, my be in your
interest."

My tears subsiding I listened as he laid out the offer. If Dr. Josten
accepted me for the study I would need to fly to UCLA for a physical and a
battery of psychological tests, after which I would need to visit a local
psychiatrist for frequent sessions. I would be given a free supply of
estrogen for the length of the three-year study and would need to return to
LA every month for tests. The pay would be substantial, at least compared
to what I made then, and would accommodate my college studies as much as
possible. He even went on to explain the side-effects of my taking the
estrogen, though I was well aware of those.

"You'll never be mistaken for a man again, at least not by your outward
appearance. In fact, you'll probably choose to live as a woman full-time;
most people in your situation do as I understand."

I really broke down then, and the doctor had a big job calming me
down. Eventually I promised to think about it and let him know. He told me
when the deadline was and I left, skipping my next class and calling in
sick at my job so I could go home and cry. It was a bad day. It got worse.

Chapter 14

I cried until I went to sleep, then woke up, changed into a night gown and
went back to bed. About midnight I was woken again by the sound of fire
trucks passing by. Terribly depressed but unable to go back to sleep I
tried to watch television but couldn't find anything that kept my
interest. Listlessly wandering around my apartment I found myself looking
at the outfit Todd had bought me. I'd never even tried it on. Robotically I
did so then; hating myself for my weakness over something as simple as
clothing. My health problems I couldn't help; they were genetic. But my
overwhelming desire to live, dress, and act like a woman wasn't genetic; it
was just sick. Still, by the time I had finished dressing and stepped in
front of my mirror to judge for myself how I looked, I was in a slightly
better mood. I really looked good. My breasts were very visible through the
thin material and pushed up and out proudly by the corset. My nipples were
achingly stiff. My body had all the curves of a real girl, and my face was
undeniably feminine. There was little doubt about it; I was a girl, or
should be. There was nothing about my appearance that said `boy' anymore.

That was when I heard the rattle of keys in the lock. No one had a key but
me and Todd, and he wouldn't be coming over here this time of
night. Frightened that it might be my landlord I ran to the door and
grabbed the handle of the deadbolt to keep it from turning, then stood on
tiptoe to see who was here. It was Todd; and he looked awful.

Forgetting what I was wearing I threw open the door and asked him what was
wrong. He blinked a few times, smiling at what I was wearing, and then the
smile went away. Leaning against the doorjamb he mumbled something about my
looking `good enough to fuck' and then released a long, smelly belch before
closing his eyes.

He was drunk; and as far along as I'd ever seen anyone. He was wearing a
pair of sweat pants and ratty t-shirt beneath a blue jean jacket. On his
feet was a pair of sneakers and no visible socks. Almost he fell backwards
when the door opened but I stepped outside, my feet freezing on the cold
concrete, and took his arm to steady him and help him inside. A voice
laughed from the darkness as I struggled.

"See? I told ya his fuck-bunny would take him in."

"Look at those tits! That girl needs to be fucked!"

I ignored them; Todd wasn't just drunk he acted as if he was hurt and he
stank to high heaven of alcohol and smoke. Staggering beneath his weight I
dropped him onto the couch before shutting the door, ignoring the leers of
the two jerks now standing there looking at me.

"Yep! He's in good hands," laughed the larger of the two. I recognized the
shorter one as the red-head who'd been there before.

"Wish I was in your hands," smirked the red-head, grabbing his crotch as I
slammed the door in their faces. Bastards.

Hurrying back to Todd I found him unconscious and leaning dangerously far
over the hole in my coach. Straining my little body I managed to push him
back upright and checked to make sure he was breathing ok. Unsure what else
to do I perched on his lap, there wasn't room on the coach for me, and held
his hands within my own.

"Todd? I whispered, raising one hand to stroke his cheek. On TV they always
slapped people to bring them around but I couldn't bring myself to do
that. I tried stroking his face with both hands, leaving both of his in my
lap as I held his dear face and called his name. "Todd?"

With a surprising suddenness Todd's eyes popped open, finding me only
inches away as I held his face and sat in his lap.

"Hey, hillbilly girl," he slurred. "You comin' on to me?"

Smiling at the familiar joke I sighed in relief and slipped my arms around
his neck for a hug.

"I thought you were hurt," I said, squeezing him only a little longer than
necessary. "You were so unresponsive."

Lurching to his feet Todd managed to keep his balance despite holding me in
his arms. "I'll show you responsive," he said, smiling down at me. True to
his word I felt the sudden presence of his erection pushing firmly into my
butt. Stumbling a little he had to put me down or both of us would have
fallen. Holding him around the waist I only just managed to keep him
upright as he pawed at my breasts.

"Damn hot... girl," he smiled, pinching gently each of my nipples in
turn. I didn't even try to pretend that didn't feel amazing; my own
erection was about ready to pop. With an effort I managed to get him to sit
back down on the couch, winding up back on his lap in the struggle as he
apparently wanted to remain standing. In another of his sudden reversals he
stopped struggling and slid his arms around my waist as he pulled me more
firmly onto his erection.

"Mmm, feels good," he laughed, trying to dry hump me while I was still on
his lap. I didn't cooperate but tried to slide off his erection but he
wasn't having any of that. I finally gave in and remained where he wanted
me. He was too drunk to know what he was doing.

"Todd? What happened? Why do you smell like smoke?

Tears filled his eyes at my question, and his erection subsided
immediately. "It burned down, Megan. It all burned down," he slurred,
choking back the tears. He had awakened when the fire alarms went off, but
being drunk he had barely managed to slide on the sweats and t-shirt before
leaving. The shoes were his but he had no idea where the jacket had come
from. The whole fraternity building had become engulfed and he and his frat
brothers had staggered off into the night to find more alcohol. When they
ran out of money and began to wonder where they were going to sleep it off,
Todd's buddies had thought to bring him to me. I'd never seen Todd cry
before, so I was an emotional wreck as I sat on his lap and held him in my
arms. Later we learned that no one died in the fire and the cause was
officially listed as faulty wiring.

"I got nowhere to go," Todd said, holding me as I was holding him. His
tears hadn't lasted long but I could feel them on my shoulder. "They told
us to go to the arena but I didn't wanna go there."

Hugging him fiercely I intended to tell him that he was my best friend and
that he could stay with me as long as he wanted or needed to; that my
apartment, small and mean as it was, was empty without him here and I
insisted on him staying with me. That's what I thought, but this is what I
said:

"You can sleep with me," I blurted. I was so glad my face was buried in his
shoulder, because I know I had to have turned bright red.

After a long silence I explained what I had meant to say and once I risked
looking him in the face I found him smiling at me.

"My girlfriend needs some loving huh?" he said, lurching again to his feet
and cradling me like a baby in his arms. "I'll just do you right here," he
said, walking to the door and pinning me up against it as his reawakened
cock began to poke randomly at my ass. We both had a good laugh at that
one.

"I need to sleep," he stated, lowering me gently to the floor. His erection
was making a tent in his sweat pants and I felt the thrust of it all along
my side as I regained my footing. "But I ain't kicking you out of your
bed."

His slurring made his speech difficult to understand. I pointed out that he
couldn't sleep on the couch and the concrete floor was out of the question.

"You take my bed and I can curl up just find on this end of the couch," I
explained. He just waved my lucid explanation away.

"We can share the bed," he said, picking me up again and staggering towards
the bedroom. I again wiggled away, feeling the unmistakable bulge of his
manhood trailing up my ass and lower back before I was free.

"Not yet," I said, steering him at an angle towards the bathroom. "You've
got to take a shower; I don't want my whole apartment smelling like a
burning house!"

He chuckled but cooperated, shrugging off his jacket as he lurched towards
the bathroom. I followed along, reminding him what he was supposed to be
doing as he kept stopping and staring around blankly. I swear I could have
done anything to him at that moment and he wouldn't have any idea what was
going on; nor have remembered it the next day.

Finally I guided him up against the sink so I could squeeze past him and
turn on the water in my tiny shower. Once it was running I found him with
his shirt stuck over his head; he was just too drunk to get it off
alone. Standing on tiptoes I managed to get it off of him, then reached
down for his sweat pants just as he decided to turn around and bumped into
me. I lost my balance, dropping to me knees in front of him as I pulled his
sweats down to leave me kneeling face-to-face, so to speak, with his cock.

Thankfully it wasn't completely erect. It had subsided drastically since he
had dry-humped me by the front door but was still so big and thick that it
reminded me how pathetic my own equipment was. Still partially engorged it
stuck out slightly from his crotch a good inch or so before it leaned over
to point towards the floor. I was so close to it that had it been fully
erect it could have been pushing against my lips, so I was thankful he
wasn't hard. Trying to be professional about the situation I continued
pulling the sweats down; the sooner they were off the sooner I could get up
and away from his dick. Then two things caught my eye; one was that Todd
wasn't wearing any underwear and the second was that we hadn't untied his
shoes yet.

"You really are needing some, ain't you hillbilly girl," he laughed,
pushing his hips towards me so that the head of his dick swung slightly
towards me. Dutifully laughing I tried not to look at him as I untied his
shoes but it was difficult to miss the gargantuan cock dangling right in
front of my face. With Todd leaning back on the sink I managed to get him
completely naked at last, it took much longer than I would have thought,
and just before I arose I chanced to look up, catching his eyes. I must
have looked pretty funny, kneeling there before him, my eyes peeking up
around each side of his dick as I looked up at him. He didn't laugh, though
he did give me a panty-peeler.

"Megan you look amazing," he said, reaching down for my hand to help me
up. I couldn't help but notice a twitch in his cock as I rose past it.

Holding on to his hand I guided Todd into the shower and told him to wash
up; then had to reach in and help him with the body wash after he
repeatedly dropped it. I even had to stand on the toilet to wash his hair;
that boy was really drunk. He managed to wash himself from the waist down
without my help; for which I was profoundly grateful though strangely
disappointed. I liked helping him. This was my one opportunity to give back
to him after all he had given me in our friendship. I hadn't wanted to
touch him down there but liked the thought of him needing me. I did get to
towel him down and made sure that he was completely dry before allowing him
into my bed.

"Wait, gotta piss," he mumbled, turning to face the toilet. Hurriedly I
reached around him and lifted the lid, then watched as his stream missed
the bowl completely. He wasn't even making an effort to aim; just stood in
front of the toilet and let go! His eyes were even closed! Reacting without
thinking I grabbed his cock and adjusted his aim as I yelled at him to pay
attention. Todd cracked one eye and mumbled `sorry' but didn't bother to
take over my job. I had to stand there holding his naked cock, the first
one I had ever held other than my own, as he completed his business.

I was embarrassed, obviously, but couldn't get over the sheer weight of the
man-meat in my hand. I cupped it in my right palm, amazed at the size of
the beast as I felt the urine flow through it. His bladder was full and it
took a long time before his stream lessened, though it went by quickly for
me. I couldn't get over how big it was, and how much better it felt to hold
his cock than it did my own. If I'd had a cock like this, I might never
have tried on that first pair of panties!

After the final shake I washed my hands, used his wet towel to clean up his
urine from the floor, and then led Todd back to my bed. I helped him sit
down before explaining our next problem.

"Todd I have to find you something for you to wear and then change myself,"
I explained, asking him to remain on the edge of the bed and not to fall
asleep until I returned. I had exactly three pairs of boy underwear left to
my name and they were in an unopened package I'd kept for the inevitable
day when I gave up my girly lifestyle for good. Hopefully they'd fit him,
though I knew they wouldn't; my waist and his thigh were a good match for
size. The issue never came up as he took charge of the situation.

"You ain't changin' nothin', he croaked, snaking an arm around my waist and
pulling me to him. "You look good; wanna just hold you."

"No Todd," I protested, giggling as he easily pulled me atop him as he lay
back on the pillow and atop the covers. "You need something on, you're
naked!"

"Always sleep... nude," he whispered. Then he began to snore.

Chapter 15

It took some adjusting but I knew where I would be most
comfortable. Slipping into the gap between Todd's right side and his arm I
had to wiggle a little to get my head pillowed onto his shoulder just
right. Lying on my left side like I was I placed my right hand onto his abs
and draped my right leg over his and voila! I was there. Instant relaxation
and contentment washed over me despite the tightness of the corset. If I
was a kitten I would have purred. My apartment was always cold but with
Todd's body heat I was warm and couldn't imagine a better pillow than where
I was laying my head. I was hoping right then that Todd would never move
out.

Realizing that the lights were still on I roused myself with a growl and
pulled myself up from my nest. The switch was on the far side of the room,
right between the closet and the bathroom, the light of which was also
still on. Wedged as I was between Todd and the wall I had little room to
maneuver. The foot of the bed was blocked by my low dresser so I had no
choice but to climb over Todd to get out of bed but I didn't want to wake
him. Seeing no alternative I threw a leg over his waist and lifted my butt
as high as I could so as to avoid brushing against his manhood. His
sleeping monster was curled around with the head resting in his bellybutton
at an angle. I was mostly successful in my attempt, the hem only of my
negligee barely sliding across him as I half-leaped from one knee to the
other over him. The bed rocked so I held still for a moment, watching the
face of my beloved friend to be sure he didn't awake. My fears were for
nothing; he didn't even miss a snore.

Climbing off the bed I stepped to the bathroom first to turn that light off
but ultimately didn't; deciding to leave it on so Todd wouldn't be
disoriented if he awoke through the night and needed to go to the
bathroom. Reentering the bedroom I reached for that light switch but
hesitated when I noticed Todd; his cock was hardening as I watched; stirred
into life by the hem of my negligee or some dream of his own.

What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't climb over that thing by the dim
light from the bathroom, and I couldn't simply sit and wait for it to go
back down on its own! It might be hours and I was really getting tired!
Deciding that I would have to step onto the bed and then step over him
seemed to be the only safe way to avoid him but I would need to leave the
light on. So that I wouldn't have gotten up for nothing I took off my
corset and the stockings, putting them away but leaving the negligee and
white panties on; I couldn't sleep nude like Todd though the thought of my
still-hard nipples rubbing against his muscular chest almost made me strip
the top off as well. I talked myself out of that by deciding that Todd
wouldn't like that; it would just be too gay if he found me sleeping half
atop him with my breasts bare against his skin.

Carefully stepping up onto the bed I was lifting my leg to step over Todd
when he suddenly shifted his weight on the bed, causing me to have to step
back down to the floor or lose my balance. I tried again with the same
result and decided that putting my full weight onto that one spot on the
mattress was what was disturbing him. By this time his cock was probably
three-quarters full and looked like a high hurdle to my wide eyes. I knew I
was going to have to cross over him on my knees again. It seems silly now
but it never occurred to me that I could cross lower down, over his legs. I
was so fixated on avoiding his manhood nothing else even entered my
mind. Once again the hem of my naughty-nighty rubbed against him, as did my
right inner thigh. It felt like a hot brand against my leg! The heat coming
off it was amazing.

I regained my comfortable place without waking him and finally allowed
myself to truly relax. My right hand I left on his chest; it was too risky
putting it on his stomach now that his dick was getting hard. I didn't want
to accidentally touch it or anything. That beast was still growing and soon
would reach full proportions. It was so big I couldn't pull my eyes away
from it. I mean, it was right there, just across my arm from my face, and
the lights were on so it was plainly in view. Todd's dick didn't poke
straight up when it was hard, but instead ran up along his belly with an
inch or so of space between his cock and his stomach. It was peering at me
over my wrist with its one eye and the head looked thick and mean. What
girl could he ever put that into?

Well, rumor had it that he had found plenty willing to try. Todd had been
with all of the girls back home that he wanted and several more in his two
years here. There was one pudgy girl in our high school named Gina who was
his go-to girl when he came up dry on a date. He'd sneak over to her house
late at night and she'd suck his dick, or so the stories said. Todd himself
never said anything about it but Gina let everyone know she and Todd were
in love. That poor girl never had a chance of keeping Todd for her own. I'm
certain he never made her any promises. He wasn't like that and didn't need
to be.

By now his cock was fully rampant and I moved my arm out of the way so I
could study it. The thick, ropey veins stood out against the skin and it
looked to be incredibly stiff with need. I guess Todd hadn't gone out with
anyone tonight; at least not since the fire. About then it occurred to me
that this was `my' erection; I'd caused it when my negligee had slid across
it! I know a touch like that from a silken garment had often caused the
same result in myself over the years, though not so much lately. I'd known
him to have erections around me before, but they were never truly because
of me; he was just responding to my acting like a girl and were of no real
consequence. This time, however, he had been unconscious when he responded
and that made me feel more girly; this wasn't something that happened just
from playing around; his body had responded to something that I did.

Wow! I `made' that amazing thing? The skin was stretched so thin it looked
ready to burst. The head was an angry red. I giggled then, glad that he
wasn't awake and demanding that I help him get rid of his erection since I
was the one that caused it. Then I sobered; was I girl enough to cause an
erection in a man? Or woman enough to do anything about it?

Almost in tears I thought about my life and all that had led up to this
moment. Was I really a boy? I sure didn't act like one. Was I really a
girl? Small and useless as it was, I still had the wrong equipment. Gently
I placed my hand back on Todd's stomach, but this time low and to the side
of his cock so that I didn't interrupt my view. I thought of the times I
had felt it. Many times Todd had jokingly used it to prod me in the legs,
lower back and ass. That one time at the drive-in was still vivid in my
memory, as that was the closest I had ever come to touching it erect,
though it had been protected by the thick material of his jeans. Tonight I
had held it in my hand while he urinated, though it had been soft. If I
really was a girl I would want to hold it when it was hard; to hold it and
maybe even kiss it. Suck on it, perhaps.

Shaking my head I pushed that image away. As a real girl I would only be
doing those things to get Todd ready to fuck me, and even if I was
attracted to men, which I wasn't, I didn't have the proper place to put his
glorious manhood. Maybe I was feminine enough to make dicks hard, the
comments from Todd's frat-buddies seemed to say so, but I had no desire or
ability to do anything else.

Sighing I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking about the study I had been
asked to participate in. The estrogen would help me pass even more easily
as a woman but still wouldn't make me a real girl. Did I truly want to be a
girl? How could I know for certain? Then I had an idea; a plan that might
give me some indication of what I really wanted. Normally I kept thoughts
of Todd well away from my mind when I masturbated but what if I took a few
moments and gave in to them? What if, just for a minute or two, I pretended
that I really was a girl and that Todd was really my lover? Would I be as
disgusted as I assumed I would be? Would I be incapacitated with guilt? Or
would I discover something about myself I perhaps didn't really want to
know?

Settling in and relaxing my body I allowed a fantasy to take control. I was
Megan; a woman. I had a woman's body and a woman's needs. Todd, my
boyfriend, was in my bed to satisfy those needs. His hard cock was waiting
for me, Todd was waiting for me, to hold his dick, to squeeze it; to take
his cock into my mouth and then to make love to him.

The orgasm that rolled over me set off fireworks in my mind. In my fantasy
I had taken the head of his dick into my mouth, barely locking my lips
around it before my tiny sex exploded in ecstasy. My fantasy self kept that
lip lock even as I writhed in pleasure, having done nothing physically to
myself beyond squeezing my legs together around my tiny penis which
faithfully ejected a tiny trickle of fluid into my panty crotch.

My pleasure seemed to last for an eternity but it still ended far too
soon. Rather than my usual guilt I found myself awash in a new fantasy; one
where I lay with Todd and held his stiff erection in my tiny little
fist. We were talking about nothing; just spending time together as a young
couple in love will, but my fantasy self never relinquished her grip on
that dick; gripping it, stroking it, studying it lovingly from only inches
away. I'd never had two erections in any one day before that I could
remember, but my tiny dick remained stiff and needy despite having just
came. I wanted more. My clit wanted more. Did I dare take Todd's cock in my
hand? Just once reach out and wrap my hand around it and give it a gentle,
loving squeeze? Did I want to risk Todd's waking up to catch me? I had to.

Opening my eyes once my decision was made I found that I had dozed off for
a few minutes. Todd's dick had subsided in the interim and I found myself
with the only erection in the bed, and I was sporting three if you counted
my nipples. Disappointed I looked at his flaccid beast and wished fervently
that it would regain its swollen glory, but it didn't, though I stared at
it and silently commanded it to do so. Perhaps I could make it hard again
by touching it?

Todd groaned and sat up, gently slipping his arm from around me as
rose. Placing one hand on the wall he staggered his way back into the
bathroom, his muscular ass clenching and bunching as he stepped. Between
his legs I could see his dangling dick, almost comical as it swayed and
bobbed around with each movement. I watched admiringly as he again
urinated, this time standing in profile to me where I lay on the bed. It
looked very nice, but I liked the view better when it was next to me and
hard.

Coming back to bed Todd had his eyes closed against the light, which he
thankfully didn't choose to turn off. I didn't offer to pull the covers
down and he didn't either; simply rolling into bed in the exact same
position sprawled out on his back as he'd been in previously. Once again he
surprised me, leaning over to bring his face to mine and giving my
astounded lips a gentle kiss.

"'Night Megan," he slurred, and then fell immediately back to sleep.

He kissed me! I couldn't blame it on his being drunk or disoriented; he'd
called me by my own name! Nearly hyperventilating I lay gasping for air by
his side, holding him tightly to me as my heart pounded. By the time I had
calmed down he was back asleep and snoring again, and my next step was
obvious; I had to get him hard again.

Checking once more to see that he was asleep I made my move quickly before
I lost my nerve. Reaching down I took his flaccid dick gently in hand and
held it for a moment; testing its weight as I had before. It stirred
slightly but not nearly enough, and so I put it back down on his stomach
and began stroking it softly with a finger. That brought the response I was
looking for and his snake began to thicken and grow.

I held it in my palm again as it rose, marveling at the feeling of the
growing erection in my fist. Squeezing softly now and again I quickly had
it up half-size, and then jacked him a few times to increase the
response. It was amazing and I found myself drawn closer to it; watching
the head thicken with my face only inches away. As soon as it was fully
erect I would let it go, or so I told myself. I didn't let go. It was time
for another fantasy.

It was an easy fantasy; I pretended I was a girl and was holding my man's
cock. It was so amazing to hold him; to know that this erection was mine;
intentionally caused by me as a woman does when she loves her man. I found
it impossible to keep my eyes closed and was soon stroking it and
squeezing. It was amazing but I wanted more; I wanted to cum again but this
time as a woman.

Easing up, never relinquishing my grip on his cock, I knelt for a moment
and drank in the beauty of this man. His body was thick, muscular, and his
cock as well. His abs were well defined and he was all the man any girl
could ever need. I knew then that he was all I needed; and I needed him
badly. Regretfully I let go of his precious manhood and placed both hands
on his chest, then lifted my right leg and eased it over his waist before
pausing to admire the thick cock sprouting from his groin and waiting to
grind into my pussy. My own sex was hard and ready and leaking precum like
I never had before. It remained pushed back between my legs and was
separated from him by only an inch of air and the silken crotch of my white
panties. I didn't dare remove the panties, but the distance that kept us
apart was something I could easily eliminate. With a soft feminine sigh I
lowered myself down atop him.

I nearly came from the contact of my silken clit against his rampant
manhood. Gazing through lowered eyes I looked at the point where we came
together; the hardness of his cock and the feelings it was causing my only
thoughts. If my apartment had caught on fire then I would have died, unable
to tear my vision away from this living fantasy. Almost I came, but then I
slid myself up along his dick, my weight supported on hands and knees as I
ground my clit into his maleness, and my `almost' exploded into a body
shaking, mind altering eruption of delight.

Moaning and groaning I ground my clit into him, forgetting about holding
myself up as I threw my head back and thought of nothing but maintaining
the contact between our sexes as I pistoned my hips back and forth. There
was no thought of gay or straight; I was a woman whose needs were being
taken care of by her man and my orgasm washed over me again and again until
I collapsed exhausted atop of Todd, then slid over into my comfortable
place to lay panting and sated. Immediately a sense of completeness came
over me and I ran my hands over the hard muscles before me as my body truly
relaxed for the first time that I could ever remember. I barely found the
strength to look up at Todd before I fell asleep; the dear man had given me
the greatest sexual experience of my life and he never even woke up.

Chapter 16

If my alarm went off the next morning, we didn't hear it. It didn't matter;
classes had been cancelled because of the fire anyway. Even after I awoke I
didn't move, lying snuggled up to Todd's powerful body for another hour
until the needs of my bladder forced me to move. He slept on until well
into the afternoon, which gave me plenty of time for some soul searching.

Showering and changing delayed any serious thoughts but couldn't stall them
forever. I had to do something about getting Todd some clothes or at least
washing what he had but found myself in a dilemma; the apartment's washers
and dryers were in the basement and I simply couldn't bring myself to dress
as Mark long enough to even walk down there. I could have washed his
clothes in my sink and hung them up to dry but I rejected that; I had come
to some realizations the night before and needed to follow through with
them before I completely lost my nerve. Gathering our laundry, after
spending quite a bit of timing sitting in a chair and just watching the
still-nude Todd sleeping, I dressed in a simple denim skirt with a pink top
and jacket and, taking a deep breath, stepped outside my apartment. Megan
was going to do her laundry; no matter who saw her.

No one saw me, though the thrill that I would be seen was amazing. I
started the clothes in the washer and went back upstairs to check on Todd,
then returned to put the clothes in the dryer without seeing another
soul. On my way back up with the finished laundry I saw my landlord at a
distance, but he didn't see me. I was almost disappointed until I got back
home; Todd was still asleep and hard again, so I sat in my chair and just
drank in the sight of him. That was ample compensation for a little
disappointment.

When finally he awoke I watched him pee again and then sadly watched as he
put on his clothes. Without underwear the sweats were quite a sight; with
the steady bulge of even his soft cock tenting out in a lump down one
leg. He only smiled when I giggled, despite his hangover.

"Yeah, very funny, hillbilly girl," he said, grabbing his crotch and
thrusting it at me. "Maybe I'll take it out and beat you with it."

We had a late lunch as we talked about what Todd was going to do about the
fire. He'd lost everything, he knew, but had grabbed his wallet before he
left so his father-provided credit cards would allow him to buy more
clothes. I could tell he was a little sad and once we had eaten I slid into
his lap and gave him a nice hug.

"You know you can stay here as long as you want, honey," I said, falling
into our pretend boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. A relationship I now
wish whole-heartedly was true.

"Thanks, Megan. I may have to take you up on that," he said, giving me a
good squeeze in return. "I'll have to come back tonight at least; but long
term I'll have to do whatever coach wants us to do."

I understood and asked him what time he'd be back, all the time hoping
against hope that he'd kiss me again.

"I'll be back before dark. I just need to check in with coach, maybe do a
little shopping so I have something to wear."

We laughed. "At least get some underwear," I said, playfully tugging on the
waist of his sweatpants to reveal the very top of his pubic hair.

"Yeah, that may be a priority," he said, giving me a panty-peeler as he
stroked my ass through my skirt. "It's tough going commando when you're
wearing new blue jeans."

As we finished our chuckle I grew somewhat melancholy and lay my head onto
his shoulder. "I'm so glad you weren't hurt. I don't know what I would do
if you never came to see me again."

Holding me tight he comforted me. "I'm not going anywhere. You'll always be
my girl and I'll always come back to see you." Loving the feel of his arms
around me I just sat very still; not wanting him to leave.

"And speaking of seeing you; I want a promise out of you," he said sternly,
a mischievous look in his eyes.

"What?"

"I want you wear that white outfit for me again. I didn't really get to
enjoy it last night."

Smiling I made the promise. "When you come in the door I'll be wearing it
and waiting for you just like any girl does for her man when he comes
home."

Smiling he gave me another hug, and then stood up still holding me before
setting me gently on my feet. I really loved that and I think he
knew. Saying goodbye he moved towards the door and I noticed that his dick
had hardened slightly while I was sitting on it.

"You kissed me last night," I blurted, surprising myself. Pausing, Todd
looked thoughtful for a moment as if searching his memory, then dropped a
panty peeler on me.

"Yeah, I remember that... barely. I was really out of it." He added,
breaking my heart as he did so. Pacing back over to me he took me in his
arms and pressed his lips sweetly against my own for a blistering second
before releasing me.

"See you later, Megan," he called, closing the door behind him.

I just stood there. I couldn't even open my eyes for a long, long time.

Chapter 17

I was a busy girl that afternoon. As Megan I nervously walked to the corner
and called Dr. Phelps' office, asking his receptionist to relay a message
to the doctor, accepting the place in Dr. Josten's study. Thanking me the
receptionist told me to call back on Monday and I would be given further
instructions. Then I called in to my jobs and told them I was sick. I
didn't have time to go to work; I needed to be ready when my boyfriend came
home! No one gave me a second look during my stroll, though one middle-aged
man slowed down as he drove past me. He probably was looking at the address
on the building but I pretended he was looking at my legs. That was a nice
little tingle.

That afternoon and evening was, by and large, a very happy time for me. At
some point in the day I really accepted my femininity. My only melancholy
thoughts were of the fact that I had basically taken advantage of Todd
while he slept, and I felt a great deal of guilt at using his unconscious
body for my own pleasure. Just the memory of that glorious orgasm made it
difficult to be depressed, but I knew it was wrong to do what I had
done. If I ever did it again; he would be awake and participating, though I
knew that was a pipe dream. Todd was a sweet man who truly cared for me as
his friend, but he was too much of a ladies man to ever want a pretend girl
like me.

Returning home I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom to get the smoke
smell out, even opening my window and propping my door open for the first
time since I had lived there. Then I lay the white outfit out on my bed,
glad that I had washed the panties that morning. Since I knew that Todd
would be seeing me wearing it I took extra care with my preparations;
showering long and shaving my legs and crotch close, with twice the normal
amount of time spent getting my hair and makeup just right.

Nearly an hour of that day was taken up as I purged my boy clothes and
carried them to the trash. It was on the way back from my last trip that I
realized that I had only one pair of pants to my name, and they were a pair
of blue jeans. How was I going to go to work? Smiling to myself I decided
to worry about it later. Right now was a happy time. I didn't dress until
the sun was almost down, then I hurriedly slipped on my corset and
negligee, giddy with the thought of being seen by a sober Todd while
wearing it. I hoped he liked it... I hope he loved it, and me!

I was wearing nothing but panties and a bathrobe when my landlord knocked
on my door. I started to just ignore him but, in for a penny, in for pound
as they say. His eyes tried to climb my legs when I opened the door.

"Is young Mark in?" he asked as I stood impatiently with on hand on my
hip. When I said `no' he asked me to relay a message.

"He had to go back home for a while; I'll be staying here and looking after
his place," I explained, hoping the old perv would just leave.

Turning a deep red the old man's gaze returned to my gaze as he
continued. "Yes, well the message is really for you. It seems that some of
the neighbors were awakened this morning, really early, by a young
woman... uh... feeling happy." He looked like he was going to pass out from
embarrassment. I was feeling close to joining him. A woman was moaning in
pleasure loudly enough to wake the neighbors? I didn't remember making any
noise at all but it had to have been me when I was grinding atop Todd.

I thanked him and assured him that I'd keep the TV turned down next
time. He accepted the lie and turned to leave when I stopped him with a
sudden impulse.

"Uh, I have a message for you too, from Mark," I said, hoping I sounded
more confident that I felt. "He's moving back home and said I could take
over his lease, if you're okay with it," I mumbled.

Happy to see his revenue stream continue Mr. Williams just smiled and said
that would be fine, so long as Mark signed a letter saying so.

I thanked him and he left; calling me `Ms. Priddy'. It was just that easy;
no longer was Mark Priddy living here; now it was Megan Priddy's
apartment. Just as the sun went below the horizon I heard the sound of
Todd's key in the lock.

I met him at the door with a hug and a shy smile. Moving towards him slowly
I allowed him a good, long look at my barely concealed body beneath the
see-through garment. His smile was wide as he took in the sight; as he was
still wearing the sweat pants I knew right away he liked what he was
seeing. He dropped the bags he carried and after a good, solid hug he gave
me another breath-taking little peck on the lips followed by a long, slow
grope of my ass as he held me close. I looked at his mouth, hoping for a
chance to show him how his girl really could kiss.

Still holding me tight he told me of his day. We were standing in the open
doorway and I was wearing next to nothing but I didn't care; so long as
Todd was holding me I would stay there and anybody who passed by could look
all they wanted.

"Coach said for us to stay wherever we could for now, and they'd make
long-term arrangements for us later. Not everyone had a willing roommate
ready for them and the university had to put them up in a motel, so I'm
glad you were here for me."

I could only beam with pleasure as he continued.

"I bought enough stuff to get me by," he explained, nodding towards the
bags. Normally I was always interested in shopping but now I just smiled
happily; he was all I was interested in at that moment. Once he had told me
everything he needed to I asked him how he liked the outfit.

Gripping my butt cheeks he pulled me up, my legs spreading naturally to
encircle his waist as he lifted me up until our faces were on a
level. Lowering me slightly I felt the warm bulge of his hard cock pushing
up into my butt. If I had a pussy, and our clothes hadn't been in the way,
I would have slid right onto him. Leaning forward he whispered a `thanks'
and then kissed me again. This time he did a more thorough job of it. Now I
knew why girls sometimes swooned.

Chapter 18

We ate our dinner with me sitting in Todd's lap; taking turns feeding each
other as I giggled insanely at anything he said. I pretended not to notice
what I was wearing or that his rock-hard erection was trying to burrow
through his sweats throughout the meal. When were finished Todd stood up,
cradling me easily in his arms and carried me to the couch where we watched
TV for a while as we told one another about our day. Well, Todd watched TV;
I just lay with my head on his shoulder and watched him as let his hands
roam over my breasts. I'd always known that he was handsome, but that night
I realized that he was the most gorgeous thing on the planet! And, at least
for a few weeks, he was my live-in boyfriend!

"Are you ready for bed?" he finally asked. I replied with an enthusiastic
`yes' before he'd even finished his sentence.

"Did you get any pajamas to wear?" I asked, praying that he hadn't.

"No," Todd laughed. "I always sleep in the nude. I hope that's okay? I
mean, if it bothers you I could put on some underwear."

I assured him I wasn't bothered in the least then luxuriated in his arms as
he carried me into `our' bedroom. I felt like a living doll when he did
that; like I was something so precious to him that he wouldn't allow me to
walk even that short distance on my own. He sat me gently onto the bed and
then retreated to the bathroom. I lay back on the pillows and thought about
what I was hoping would soon happen.

What did I want to happen? Did I want Todd to make love to me? Yes! Most
definitely! But in what way? Did I want him to push that wrist-thick
manhood of his up my butt? Not really; that thought scared me. It would
never fit and would undoubtedly hurt. Did I think he'd be content to just
let me climb atop him and grind myself against him? He might let me do that
once or twice; but only as a joke. There was nothing in it for him, after
all, and I couldn't take my pleasure without returning the favor. I could
give him a hand job; that might work, though I would have no idea how to
pleasure a cock that size with my hand; I had never needed more than two
fingers for myself. And since I knew my little body wasn't woman enough for
him he'd have to close his eyes and think of some slut he'd once fucked
before I could get him off, and I didn't want him thinking of any girl but
me.

Underneath all these thoughts was the realization that Todd really wasn't
gay. He liked women; he'd proved that often enough, and had shared any
number of stories about the women he'd fucked. He liked `messing around'
with me, as he liked to say, and I hoped he'd never stop the touching and
the kissing but If I pushed him too far intimately he'd eventually reach
his limit and just stop coming around. That limit had to be pretty close; I
never dreamed he'd actually kiss me!

Trying to relax I thought of what was coming that I knew for certain would
happen. He'd be nude, in my bed, with me draped across him wearing almost
nothing. I'd probably get a goodnight kiss and I could put my head on his
chest and admire his cock all night long, provided I left a nightlight on.

Sighing at those wonderful thoughts I decided I could make do with
that. Once he was asleep I could even rub myself off to the sight of his
nude body. It wasn't everything but it was more than I could have dreamed
of even a year ago.

I watched as Todd left the bathroom and moved back into the living room,
wearing nothing but his sweat pants with its delightful bulge. The muscles
of his chest were very arousing; they were thick and sculpted. He came back
with the clothes he had bought and quickly put them away then in one sudden
and dramatic move he shucked off his sweat pants just before he turned off
the bedroom light, then moved over to the bathroom to turn that one
off. The sight of him standing there, silhouetted against the apartment's
only light nearly took my breath away.

I could just make out the curves of his muscular ass but the outline of his
cock was clearly visible where it dangled between his legs. He stood there
with his legs spread slightly in the door for several seconds as if in
thought as I unthinkingly touched myself at his beauty. His body was
perfect and he belonged to me.

"Do you mind if I leave this light on?" he asked, turning to look at
me. Guiltily I jerked my hand out from between my legs, pretending to fluff
the pillows, and told him that I didn't mind.

"Good, if I have to go to the bathroom I want to be able to avoid tripping
over stuff," he laughed, turning around and walking back to me. I couldn't
see his face with the light behind him but I could see the soft bouncing
and swaying of his cock where it dangled down between his legs. Wow.

"Besides; you're wearing that outfit for me and I want to be able to see
you in it through the night," he added, dropping a panty-peeler on me. He
needn't have bothered; I'd gladly drop my panties for him anytime if I had
a pussy to share.

He helped me remove my corset and then we settled onto the bed. He
collapsed onto his back in the very middle and I eased into my comfortable
place between him and the wall, his right arm around me. We talked about
sleeping habits; he said he almost always slept on his back and I assured
him that I didn't need a pillow so long as his shoulder was available. We
also agreed that a blanket at the foot of the bed in case it got really
cold was plenty and that we didn't really want one over us usually. I was
really happy about that; I wanted nothing interrupting my view of his nude
body.

After a little chit-chat about school and some of the people we both knew
his eyes started to droop. I hadn't expected anything more but was still
disappointed; I could have lain in his arms talking to him like that for
days.

"Come here," he mumbled, tugging me up with the arm around my waist. I
gladly did so, glad for any excuse for intimate contact. When my face was
above his he gave me a long, soft, lingering kiss as I melted all over him.

"Good night," he said, relaxing his hold on me. Sadly I started to return
to my place when his arm tensed back up. "Wait a second; I want another
kiss," he said, pulling me back to him. Gladly I returned and eased my lips
up against his, sighing with pleasure as he slid one hand into the back of
my panties to stroke my ass crack.

"You really want to be a girl, don't you," he asked when our kiss
regrettably ended.

Lowering my eyes I admitted that he was right. "I do want to be a woman;
not just a boy dressing like a girl. I wish I had been born a girl; then I
could be happy."

"But then we wouldn't have had a second baseman," he teased, stroking the
skin of my butt lightly.

"Screw your second baseman," I said, lightly slapping his chest. Smiling I
add, "I'm talking about my own happiness; not sports."

"You better not screw my second baseman," Todd said, his face
mock-severe. "You'd better be screwing me; I'm your boyfriend!"

That made me laugh, but then I started crying. Todd felt bad and pulled his
hand from my panties to pat me on the back and comfort me.

"I'm sorry Megan. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't, Todd. It's nothing I haven't thought of already."

"You've thought of screwing me?"

"No! I mean my not being able to screw you... I mean... Oh, you know what I
mean." He'd made me giggle. "I want to be a woman but I'll never be and
things like being with a man sexually just aren't possible."

"Well I think you make a great looking woman. If I saw you anywhere, I'd
hit on you in a minute."

That made me feel nice. "Thanks, Todd. You're sweet. I just don't know what
to do. No matter how bad I want to be a woman I can't be. My body will
always be a man's."

He put one had back into my panties and the other slid down my top to
stroke my breast. "I am not holding the body of a man. You look like a
woman to me and I have proof."

Enjoying the attention I looked up to meet his eyes. "What proof?"

"Look down there," he said, pointing with his chin. I followed his gaze and
found his rigid cock staring at me with its one leaky eye.

Giggling I reached out and took it into my hand, giving it a good, gentle
squeeze. "This thing? It gets hard when the wind blows; it has nothing to
do with me."

Groaning low in his throat Todd pinched my nipple. "Are you crazy? You keep
me hard all the time because you are the sexiest, prettiest girl I
know. You've driven me insane now for months; keeping me constantly hard
and not doing anything about it."

Having taken the step of grabbing his dick I didn't let go, but kept it
enclosed lovingly in my fist.

"What am I supposed to do about it, Todd? If I was a woman I'd fuck you
now; you'd never have to worry about being hard with nowhere to put it. But
I'm not a woman; I don't have a pussy!"

He smiled. "There's other ways to help a man's erection, Megan."

Blushing I looked away, staring again at the thick cock in my hand. "I know
about anal sex, Todd, but you'd never be able to get this in me and I don't
think it would feel very good for either of us if you did."

"You might be surprised on that but that's not what I meant."

I started slowly stroking his meat. "You mean do it by hand? I could try if
you think I could do you any good."

Thrusting his hips slightly at my touch Todd groaned again. "I have no
doubt you could help me that way but I was thinking of you putting that
soft, sweet mouth on it."

Surprised I stopped my stroking for a second as his words worked their way
through my dull mind. Put his cock into my mouth? I didn't know how to do
that either, particularly since no one had ever done it to me. I was a
virgin in every possible way and ignorant of all but the basics of sex. All
I knew about sex was what I had heard Todd and others talk about at school,
plus a few R-rated movies. I'd heard about blow-jobs but didn't have the
first idea how to do it.

"Are... are you asking me suck your cock, Todd?"

Pulling me back up to his face he replied, "No, I'm begging you to suck my
cock, just like any girlfriend would for her boyfriend; it's kind of a
responsibility and one you've been neglecting." Smiling he pulled me closer
and kissed me again, this time sliding his strong, masculine tongue into my
mouth.

"Please, Megan; I need you!"

That was all I needed to hear. Using my grip on his dick as my guide I
lowered my face to his manhood and without preamble slipped it into my
mouth.

Chapter 19

Being completely clueless about what to do I began by nursing gently on the
head of his cock for a while, thoroughly enjoying the feel of his spongy
head against my tongue. Instinctively I lapped at it with my tongue,
getting a good taste of his precum. I'm not sure what I expected, flavor
wise, but I quickly grew to enjoy both the slightly sweaty flavor his flesh
and the salty yet even more flavorful fluid that came from it. All the
jokes about cock-suckers I had heard as a child came back to my memory but
the insult they once held had gone; I knew that this was something I was
going to love.

"Lick it all, Megan," Todd urged, his voice low and husky.

Since that sounded like a good idea to me I gladly complied. Releasing my
lip lock with a `pop' I slid my tongue down his length, my upper lip also
in constant contact, as I explored the unimagined territory. His dick was
amazing; soft flesh over a stiff iron rod that I couldn't begin to bend
with my tiny hands. I particularly enjoyed tracing the bulging blood
vessels along its length. Todd seemed to enjoy that too.

"Fuck, get it all wet honey," he groaned, teaching me how he wanted his
cock sucked. I was a willing and eager student.

My mouth was already watering so it was easy to get him good and wet,
though he did have a lot of dick to work on. I unconsciously kept one hand
firmly gripping him at the base; perhaps I thought he might try to escape?
The other ran over his chest and abs, tracing the lines between the muscles
as I worshiped the man he was along with the manhood beneath my tongue.

"Be careful with your teeth," he said at one point and since I was pretty
sure I hadn't scrapped him with them I decided he wanted me to use them in
some way, so I lifted myself more firmly atop him and began to lightly bite
my way down his shaft, careful not to injure him or even break the skin. He
was such a mouthful even like that. This maneuver was rewarded with a
thick, happy groan that thrilled me to my core, firing a lightning bolt of
pleasure down my spine and radiating out from my sex. I was making love to
Todd and he was enjoying it!

"Oh! Put it back in your mouth, honey! Slide it in and out of your mouth!"
he panted, his cock getting harder as his heavy balls tightened into
position. Always obedient I did as asked, slipping his cock between my lips
and sliding it in as deeply as I could, then pulling it almost all the way
back out before repeating the move. His whole body was tensing.

"Shit! Yes! Keep doing that and jack me with both hands!" he moaned, his
voice revealing his deep need.

I had a deep need of my own and his need for orgasm was fueling my need to
be his woman. Grabbing him gently but firmly I began to slide my hands up
his shaft even as I pushed my face down it, and even the novice that I was
knew that he would soon cum.

"I'll try to warn you," Todd moaned, his body rigid and his hips thrust
upwards to meet my efforts.

I had no idea what he meant, really I didn't, and just kept concentrating
on what I was doing. My body was afire with pleasure and I was nearing my
own release without even touching myself. I knew that some fluid came out
of a cock at completion, and I knew clinically that this fluid was what
made a woman pregnant. I had no idea that Todd's balls produced so much
greater a volume than my own did. I was hungrily sucking his meat, sliding
my mouth up and down his wonderful length and working him with my hands
when he suddenly groaned and launched the first spray of cum into my mouth.

Luckily for me I was on the upstroke when he blew. His first spurt splashed
against the roof of my mouth and flooded it. Luckily I had been swallowing
my own saliva mixed with his precum so I drank that first spurt down out of
reflex without choking. The second was tougher, blasting out before I was
finished swallowing the first so I had to hold that mouthful for a long
second to get ready, but then the third jet emerged and I suddenly had cum
leaking from my mouth on all sides of his cock. Pulling off I managed to
swallow what I had as another few weaker globs bubbled up and out of him.

Surprised at his orgasm, as well as the amount, I most certainly was. The
flavor of his sperm wasn't too bad but my initial thoughts were that it
felt like snot in my mouth. However one look at the bliss on Todd's face
immediately erased any misgivings I might have had. If I was going to suck
his dick, I wanted him to cum in my mouth. It was a conscious decision; it
was just the natural one for me. The feel of the thick wads of cum
splashing against the top of my mouth had been a serious turn on and if the
texture was the only thing I didn't care for, well, I wouldn't mind
learning to live with that.

I must have looked shocked at the initial spurt because Todd immediately
began apologizing that he hadn't warned me he was about to cum. I ignored
the apology and just smiled at him as I took his still-hard but softening
cock back between my lips and sucked him dry, then licked up everything I
had missed. By the time I had cleaned him, he was again rigid and
throbbing.

"Come here, girl," he said, pulling me up to cradle my head again on his
chest as he struggled to catch his breath. My body hummed with contentment
as I idly stroked his meat. I had joined his orgasm with one of my own and
could still feel the slight dampness between my legs. My jaw was sore and
my legs were cramping from the odd positions but I didn't care about any of
that; I had just made love to Todd and I felt wonderful.

Chapter 20

We talked for a while as he recovered, all the time I was teasing his
manhood. He again apologized for cumming in my mouth but I told him not to
worry about it.

"You can do that any time you want; I loved it!"

"Seriously?" He grinned. "Most girls I've dated won't swallow for
shit. I've had them get up and leave if I was just slow to warn them."

Considering the flavor of his sperm, which I could still taste, and how
womanly it made me feel to have this big, virile man cum inside me, I
couldn't imagine not wanting him to cum in my mouth. To me it seemed the
ultimate validation of my womanhood; that I could, as a female, bring his
big cock to an orgasm.

I explained my feelings and he just smiled, proclaiming that I was the best
woman he'd ever known. I really liked that. Soon I was back between his
legs, kissing and licking his rampant cock again.

"Look, it's hard again!" I had proclaimed, reveling in the fact that I had
not allowed it to ever really get soft after he came the first time. "Guess
I know my duty!"

Since neither of us felt the urgency that we had earlier I took my time,
teasing his thick meat as we talked. Over the next hour or so I would lick
or suck on him as the desire arose and he would tell me what he liked. I
experimented on his dick with hands, lips, and tongue and at his urging
took a turn at sucking his balls, which he liked and I didn't mind. He
called it `blow-job practice' and told me I would have to show up for every
scheduled practice if I was ever going to make it as a fulltime
cocksucker. I vowed to never even be late and Todd laughingly told me that
if there was ever an Olympic cock sucking team that I could represent my
country proudly. Finally the need in both of us became too great and I
began to seriously suck my man's hard cock.

I loved his dick with my mouth for a long time, or so it seemed. He had
amazing resilience, as I would come to learn. It happened as he was leaning
forward to cup my face in his loving hands; guiding me up and down his
shaft as I face fucked his glorious cock. One second he was thick and rigid
against my tongue and the next he was grunting and coating my mouth with
another load of hot seed. I came rubbing my crotch against his leg as I
sucked and fingered myself off again after he fell asleep.

Things were finally beginning to make sense.

Chapter 21

My boss at the convenient store accepted my change of clothing with no
problem but was concerned about some of his customers who might not be so
accepting. He was a bright guy, however, and soon had the answer by
arranging a transfer for me to another store across town that was owned by
the same chain. My new name tag read `Megan' and I proudly wore it to my
new job while Lou, my old boss, kept my paychecks, which still read `Mark',
coming to his store. I quit my job at the restaurant and my job cleaning
houses became fun as I worked alone in empty homes and now wore my far more
comfortable clothes.  Once in a while someone would come home and surprise
me but no one seemed to suspect my secret. A couple of the men even flirted
with me and offered me `jobs' babysitting. I declined because I knew what
they really wanted me to sit on.

I thought my classes would be difficult to manage. It was too late to
change my schedule and people knew me as Mark. My visit to Dr. Phelps
helped in that regard. He arranged for me to take my finals in his office
and even got me extra credit for participating in the study. He also
arranged for my appointments with a local psychiatrist as required by
Dr. Josten. His secretary even booked my travel arrangements for my trip to
California.

Home time was domestic bliss for me. We decided that my cocksucking
practice was to be `scheduled' for the first time I saw Todd every
afternoon. So as soon as Todd walked in the door, I had his dick in my
mouth. Naturally he enjoyed my attention but I swear I loved doing it even
more. So enthusiastic was I that sometimes I would be busily slurping away
when I realized that the front door was still open. Once I looked up to
find a neighbor lady watching me, the look on her face a mixture of disgust
and envy. I smiled around my mouthful of cock and waved, guiding Todd a
step or two further into our apartment so I could close the door.

That first blowjob of the day was wonderful, but it couldn't compare with
the second. Todd invariably came quickly the first time, usually no more
than ten minutes after my tongue made first contact. The second time he
could go for hours, so we saved that one for after we went to bed or at
least until after supper. I would pile blankets in the hole in my couch and
lay atop them so I could casually lick and suck him as we watched TV. I
learned to keep him rampant for long periods of time but figured out how to
make him cum when I was ready for a taste. I was in complete control of his
orgasms and he knew it. More often than not I awoke him sucking on his
`morning wood' as well but I considered those as part of the previous day's
count.

Todd had made me a promise that he would make a woman out of me by one day
fucking my `pussy' with his cock. To that end he bought me some presents;
to be precise he bought a bunch of dildos. There were six in the box and
they ranged in size from the size of my pinky to one nearly as big as
Todd's manhood. They were labeled with some male porn star's name and huge
letters proclaimed it as his `training kit'. It came with multiple tubes of
KY jelly and Todd bought me a copy of the latest Club magazine for
`inspiration'. Club has at least one pictorial in every issue that show a
man with one or more women and these men were always well endowed and
wonderfully erect. I was terribly embarrassed but didn't throw any of it
away.

It was sad when I had to leave Todd to go to California but since he had
spring practice and it was my first time on an airplane I managed to
cope. I still cried. Luckily I got a window seat but the guy in the next
seat was a fat salesman who kept trying to peak up my skirt or down my
blouse. Walking through the airport in LA someone slipped a hand up my
skirt and got a good solid grope of my left butt cheek. He received a solid
slap to the shoulder, the highest on him I could reach, but he didn't seem
to mind the exchange at all. A middle aged woman led me into a ladies room
to help me stop crying and advised me that the next time something like
that happened I should `aim a little lower'. She soon had me laughing.

My contact at the LA airport was a stunning young man named Drew. He was
waiting by baggage claim with "Megan Priddy" written on a piece of
cardboard. Drew was almost as pretty as my Todd and I flirted outrageously
with him as he carried my luggage to his car. He held doors for me and
treated me like a lady and I was so turned on I considered using him for
`practice'. I let my skirt ride up a little higher than I should have, and
when I leaned over I didn't bother to conceal his view down my cleavage, so
I think I did return his kindness in some ways. He was a graduate student
in Dr. Josten's study so he knew what kind of girl I was. Drew saw me to my
hotel and promised to pick me up in the morning for my appointment with
Dr. Josten. Almost I asked him to stay with me. Almost. But I couldn't
cheat on Todd. I was glad I brought two of my smaller dildos. They received
a serious workout that week.

Chapter 22

I met Dr. Josten briefly but mostly I spent my time with various under
graduates helping with his study. They were studying my genetic disorder
but they were really concerned with how that disorder affected people in
the development of their personalities. Not all of us became `girly', for
example and most did not at some point decide that they were gay. Or so I
learned later. I was examined physically and took a battery of
psychological tests exploring my thoughts, dreams, as well as a complete
examination of my childhood. They asked everything! I was so embarrassed.

Drew drove me back and forth from my hotel and took me to dinner twice. He
was so sweet I had a terrible time not giving in to the urge to practice on
him. He let me know early on that he was interested in me too. My plane
left on Saturday evening and my testing was done on Friday so he took me to
the beach. It was my first time seeing the ocean and I had to buy a bikini
but it was fantastic. Yes, I allowed Drew to rub sun block on me. He did a
great job. Of course I felt compelled to return the favor. That was one
very attractive man.

The best thing that came from the trip was the fact that they put me on
female hormones for the duration of the study; which was scheduled for
three years! I had to make weekly visits to the psychiatrist back home and
fill out weekly questionnaires about my feelings and thought patterns, and
then return to UCLA every one weekend a month for further physical
testing. Free hormones and trips to California! All that and I was being
paid too! They even helped me get a California ID in Megan's name.

Todd met me at the airport and we immediately found a secluded place to
practice. God I missed his hard dick so much! His initial needs satisfied
we returned home to spend a long night in one another's arms. I sucked his
cock for hours and completely satisfied my man. There was no morning wood
in evidence that next day... darn it.

But the best of times can't last forever, and that next day two things
happened to depress my joy. The first was a letter from a lawyer explaining
that my uncle had died. That was bad; I wasn't close to him but he was my
only living family. He'd represented a connection to my mom that I would
never have again. He was also my only connection to my home and the place
that I grew up. The second depressing thing happened as I was tearfully
cleaning up the mess Todd had made while I was gone; underneath our bed I
found a pair of panties... and they weren't mine.

Chapter 23

No, he didn't deny it and seemed surprised that I was upset.

"Megan I love being your boyfriend and you suck cock like no body else but
I'm still going to fuck other girls," he said.

I was devastated but eventually had to accept his feelings. He'd never said
that we were exclusive and I honestly never thought that we were, but it's
different when you see the evidence for yourself. He did promise not to
bring them back to our place, even when I wasn't there, and I was grateful
for that.

We went back home for my uncle's funeral. Todd drove so I didn't have to
ride the bus. It's only a four hour drive but I didn't get to suck his cock
even once as I was pretending to be Mark and Todd thought being sucked off
by a guy would be `creepy'. It's not like I looked like a guy; I was
wearing panties and a bra and girl's jeans. I had to buy a really big
sweatshirt to conceal my breasts and not wear makeup but it was still me in
the mirror even with my hair in a `boy's' ponytail. I didn't want to make
him uncomfortable so I didn't force the issue. I stayed in the town's only
motel while he slept at his parent's house. I knew better than to let
anyone who knew me have unnecessary opportunities to really look at me. My
new lifestyle had changed me physically and in my mannerisms. Personally I
didn't care who saw me as Megan anymore but I didn't want to cause any
trouble for Todd. I probably wouldn't ever come back here again but he
would.

The funeral was sad but I didn't cry. I held my tears until I was alone. A
lot of people came to see my uncle at the viewing but hardly anyone came to
the funeral itself. I stayed there a few days after, signing papers
authorizing my uncle's lawyer friend to liquidize all the assets as I was
the only heir. They would send me a check for whatever was left after his
house sold. When Todd came to pick me up for the drive back it was Megan
who got in the car. Mark was never seen again.

Chapter 24

Todd stayed with me for another few weeks but had to move back home for the
summer to help his father with the family business. I loved him at every
opportunity, hoping against hope that I could so satisfy his desires that
he wouldn't even look at another woman while he was gone. I knew better but
it was a sweet dream. Almost every weekend he would drive back down to see
me and we would have a glorious homecoming. His birthday was on one such
weekend and I had one special present ready for him; my virginity.

We made a day of it and I wore my wedding dress for him as we pretended to
be married. Then he carried me into the bedroom for the honeymoon. It was
wonderful, even before we made love. I had been diligent with my dildos and
the largest one, while still a challenge, no longer seemed so
frightening. I lubed myself up and slobbered all over his cock before
presenting myself to him. He was a gentle lover and took his time working
his manhood inside my ass. He took me the first time in the missionary
position, which I wanted as it seems to me to be the most `girly'. Todd
insisted that I keep my panties on; he doesn't like seeing my little dick,
but had no problem hooking them aside in order to penetrate me.

The feel of his erection sliding up into me was magnificent; as was the
feeling of his body weight atop my own. I felt like a complete woman as I
lay on my back, legs spread wide with him on top of me and his hardness
deep inside; my stiff nipples being teased by the hair on his chest. It
took him a long time to fully penetrate me but he was careful to keep
himself lubed up and when he held still for me to adjust he would occupy
himself sucking my nipples or kissing me long and deep. I came during one
of these `timeouts' but not like I did later after I told him that I was
ready to be fucked.

He did not disappoint. Pulling his enormous dick out until only the very
tip remained inside me he would then slide back in the full length, not
pausing until his balls were against my ass crack. Then he'd rest a
heartbeat or two before repeating his actions. I nearly lost my mind at the
pleasure when he completed those wonderful down strokes. After a few
minutes of that I was ready for more and urged him to fuck me faster and
again he obliged, speeding up the timing of his thrusts even as I lifted my
hips to help draw him in. Finally he stopped whispering for me to be quiet
and set his mind to pounding my pussy. I gripped at him with my arms, legs,
and pussy muscles as he drove himself into me again and again; showing me
once and for all what a woman was made for. I screamed and I cried out in
completion as orgasm after orgasm came and went. He fucked me for quite a
while and after coming inside me he pulled out just long enough to flip me
over onto my belly before driving his still hard cock back where it
belonged, picking right back up with his frantic pace as he pounded me from
behind. He manhandled me; lifting me up by my hips to get the angle he
wanted as he took what he wanted from me; which was also, wonderfully, what
I needed to give him.

His strokes remained long and forceful for a long, long time as his grunts,
barely audible over my yelps and groans, grew deeper and rougher between
gasps for breath. His last dozen strokes were accompanied by the pounding
of someone on my front door and someone else shouting `shut that slut up'!
I barely heard them over the howls I was making in the midst of my best
orgasm of the night. After I had squeezed every last drop of semen from my
lover Todd collapsed atop me.

Several minutes passed as we regained our breath. I recovered first and
looked over my shoulder at the beautiful face of my satisfied
boyfriend. His cock was only half-deflated and I could still feel it inside
me.

"Todd? You know I'm going to want this every night now, don't you?" I
managed between gasps for air.

Smiling he gave one last push with his hips before replying. "Then you're
going to have to find another apartment," he laughed.

Chapter 25

Can you imagine how sore I was the next day? I had taken off from work
anticipating some `issues' of that sort and I was very thankful that I
had. I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I knew that with practice the
soreness would go away just as the soreness in my jaw had when I was
learning to suck cock. Todd went home very happy as well. I found a note
taped to my door demanding that I learn a `sense of dignity' and have some
compassion on my neighbors. I think they're just jealous. Sometime in the
middle of that week I had a visitor.

I was wearing some ancient petal pushers and a shapeless smock as I cleaned
my apartment when someone knocked. I opened the door to find a beautiful
blonde woman with perfect teeth, flawless skin, and breasts that were
trying to explode from her tight top. Her legs seemed to be longer than I
was tall, an exaggeration of course, and her skirt was so short I could
have probably told you how close she had shaved that morning. I had never
seen a more beautiful woman in my life, not even in magazines or in a
movie. She smiled sweetly, in as fake a smile as you can imagine, and
introduced herself as Amanda. I gave my name and assured her that I was
glad to meet her. She laughed.

"I doubt that, sweetie. I have a message for you that you're not going to
like," she said, looking at me as if I was a bug crawling up her leg. I
didn't invite her in.

"We have someone in common; his name is Todd. I know he uses you for easy
sex but those days are ending soon. Todd and I will be exclusive very
shortly."

My heart was pounding as I fought the rage and embarrassment that rose
up. This woman was physical perfection; the kind of woman I would have
fantasized about as a boy and dreamed of being as a woman. Tall, thin, and
with a body that had all the right bulges in all the right places. This
divine creature didn't have to worry about her boyfriend urging her to keep
her panties on to conceal her miniature dick; she could have any man she
wanted with a smile. She was everything I wanted to be and I felt like
nothing more than a skinny little boy in my raggedy homeless-shelter
clothes. But she had also made me mad.

"That's odd," I opined, my eyes wide with innocence. "He just spent the
whole weekend with me and never mentioned you once," I stated, then slammed
the door in her face. I didn't cry until she left, which she didn't do for
some time. I ignored her knocks and hid my face under my pillow. Once she
was gone I cried hysterically. Just before dark I cycled down to a pay
phone and called him.

"Megan you know I see other women," Todd said, as if that was all the
defense he needed. "I'm not exclusive with her or you," he explained
patiently. "If she's bothering you, I'll dump her next time I'm in town,
but I can't be tied down to just one woman."

I knew all of this but I was still stunned to hear him say it. I made a lot
of crazy demands and asked silly questions and spent half my week's salary
on the call. Todd explained that while he had been with lots of women since
I'd become his girlfriend that I was the closest thing to a steady he'd
ever had.

"Other women come and go, but you're the one I never leave. You're the only
girl I've ever stayed with," he finished. "You are the only person I've
ever cared about but I can't see us being together forever. Someday I'm
going to want children."

We talked for almost three hours but that's the gist of the
conversation. He made me feel wonderful, telling me he loved me and that
despite all of his other conquests I was the only girl he ever came back
to. Then he tore it all down with that last part. I looked like a woman to
him and felt like a woman, and represented an eager and willing mouth and,
now, pussy for him to cum in but long term I was nothing more than a
temporary place to put his dick. I'd do until he found the mother of his
children. He hadn't even gotten mad when I said that perhaps I would find
other boyfriends, and I think that hurt me the most.

I woke the neighbors that night too, but it was from crying. Only one
person knocked on my door, and it was my neighbor lady whose name I never
did learn. She simply handed me a box of tissues and patted my cheek.

"Men will do that to you, honey," she said, and then walked away.

Chapter 26

Todd's visit the next weekend was subdued. He still rocked my world with
multiple orgasms and I returned the favor by coaxing every possible load of
cum from his sweet cock but he could tell that I was sad. I made sure he
didn't have a moment of rest where he could sneak away to visit that bitch
Amanda. If he even looked towards the door I mounted him. He left more than
satisfied. I was worried though because the next weekend I was going back
to California, and he'd be free to fuck her. I knew I couldn't compete with
her.

My flight was uneventful though one of my small suitcases was lost
somewhere. I had dressed very flirty in a short floral print dress that
showed off my breasts to best advantage. Drew picked me up at the airport
and I immediately began flirting. Who am I kidding? I was hitting on him
from the first moment I saw him. His hand slid from its guiding point in
the middle of my back down to the top of my butt and I just slid right up
into him as we walked. After he put my surviving suitcase in the trunk of
his car he held me in his arms and gave me a long, sweet kiss. It was
nice. Not Todd-level nice but exciting nonetheless. It felt good to know
that there was more than one man who found me attractive.

Drew tried to leave after he dropped my suitcase onto the bed in my
motel. Silly boy. I told him I needed another kiss and he gladly
complied. I had his shirt off quickly and guided him onto his back on the
bed, never releasing my liplock as I lay atop him. My trip was definitely
getting better.

He was muscular; though not as bulky as Todd he was active and fit. I
enjoyed kissing my way down his chest and stomach, grinding into his hard
dick as I did so with whatever part of my body was against him at the
moment. His jeans were difficult to unfasten but I persevered, licking
every bit of skin I uncovered.

Briefs, not boxers. I pulled them down with my teeth.

Drew was well-hung and had nothing to be ashamed of. He didn't match Todd
for girth or width but it was a beautiful piece of meat and when hard stuck
straight out from his body with a slight upward curve. I immediately began
licking up and down it, getting it wet enough for the deep-throating to
come. It was wonderfully hard and my soft lips soon had him making dry
thrusts upward as he begged me to suck him. I couldn't deny him very long
and gladly slid my face down his length, glorying in the taste of his cock
as I slid my lips up and down, slurping and sucking as I urged him to
completion.

To my surprise he didn't just lay back and enjoy my attentions, he used his
hands to urge me to spin around, working us into a 69 position. Once he had
his face under my dress he embarrassed me by sliding my panties aside and
licking on my barely stiff little clit. I wasn't expecting that. My
reservations soon disappeared as he returned my sucking, pulling my weak
little cocklet into as close to an erection as I had experienced in
months. It felt so good I lost track of what I was doing and paused with
about half his length in my mouth, my tongue quivering against his head as
I sat with eyes closed and my approaching orgasm on my mind. Once I had
came I finished him off with a flourish and discovered that Drew's cum
tasted better than Todd's ever had. His was less `musky', perhaps. I'd read
that diet played a part the taste of one's cum, so perhaps that was
it. Drew took a little while to recover but I adored spooning with him
before we fucked. He was kind and gentle and we had a great weekend
together.

My examinations went well, though the person who counseled me was surprised
at my breast development.

"You're a very petite young lady," she explained. "So I'm surprised to see
your breasts developing so rapidly, particularly when your mother was not a
large-breasted woman."

Obviously I had no real answers to that. "How much larger do you think they
might get?"

Thoughtfully staring at my charts she replied, "Well a C cup is certain and
you might even reach a D. For your sake I hope not; you're tiny body just
wouldn't be able to support them."

I was really excited to know that! C cup! Who would have thought even two
years ago that I had C cup titties in my future? And now we were discussing
possibly D's? I was ecstatic! Let's see little miss perfect Amanda show my
Todd some D cups!

Of course, that thought made me sad. No doubt Todd was fucking Amanda, or
someone else like her, right that moment. My guilt over sleeping with Drew
wasn't too strong; Todd had made it very clear that we weren't exclusive,
but it was still there. Jealousy was tearing me up inside, thinking of
Todd's glorious cock being sucked by that bitch; or worse, her getting to
feel it pounded up into her pussy; something I would never be able to truly
accomplish.

Drew, which I found out was short for Andrew but he detested Andy, took me
to the beach so I had a second chance to wear my bikini. The water had been
too cold to wade in last time but this time I got wet, which turned out to
be a mistake as my white bikini top became see-through and I didn't realize
it right away. I wondered why the guys on the beach were all smiling at me
so happily. At least I got to work on my tan and Drew was again standing
ready to rub lotion all over me. He even rubbed it on a few spots that
weren't going to be seeing any sun but he said that he wanted to be
thorough. Don't worry; I repaid his kindness when we got back to my
hotel. He fucked me once standing up in the shower; that was something
new. Todd and I had taken showers together but I always wore panties or a
swimsuit bottom to conceal my little dick. I had always enjoyed sucking him
with the warm water running over me but Drew made that whole experience
extra special.

We went to dinner together and made out through an entire movie; I don't
know what we were watching as I had eyes only for him. I warmed up his cock
with my mouth as we drove home and he fucked me leaning over the desk just
inside the door to my room. He didn't share Todd's stamina but he was
enthusiastic and, of course, paid a lot more attention to my needs. He was
a very, very sweet guy.

I returned home to find a note from Todd, telling me that he missed me and
couldn't wait until he came up next weekend. That made me happy, yes, but
also depressed me as I knew he'd been fucking Amanda in my apartment while
I was gone. I checked the bed to find that the sheets had been changed but,
sure enough, found a pair of her panties lodged well up in one corner. She
couldn't miss the chance to tell me she'd been there. I spent most of that
week, when I wasn't working, plotting my revenge against her. I found her
address in the campus phone book but by Friday night I was so deeply
missing my boyfriend that I had quite forgotten my jealousy of her when
Todd finally came home.

Jumping into his arms I had forgiven him everything halfway through that
first heart-pounding kiss of pure animal lust. I had my arms and legs
wrapped around him like vises and made sure he was breathless before I let
him up for air. After kicking the door shut he took me to the bed and
ravaged my breasts for a long time, making both nipples so stiff with need
it was a wonder they didn't bore through his chest when he finally mounted
me. Drew made me feel like a lady. Todd made me feel like a woman in
heat. At that moment in my life I couldn't have told you which I liked
better.

Chapter 27

The school had renovated an old dorm for the football team so Todd would be
moving out before the fall semester, which naturally depressed me. I hadn't
even enrolled yet as I wasn't sure how to accomplish it as Megan and I had
no desire to do so as Mark. I spent every second with Todd that I could and
kept him with me in our apartment as much as possible. I didn't ever want
him to leave. My monthly trip to California became weekend-long fuck-fests
with Drew and I marveled at the differences between the two men. I truly
loved them both, just in different ways. Neither ever asked about my life
outside of the time I spent with them.

I was regularly seeing a psychiatrist now who was supposed to be exploring
my gender-identity issues. Mostly we talked about my relationship with
Todd. She said that he was just using me and I explained that I understood
that, but that he had given me so much that I wanted him to continue using
me and me alone! Without him I wouldn't be the woman I am today. He was the
first person to ever accept me as Megan and did so before I had even
accepted it myself. Every single bit of joy and happiness I had experienced
since I was a teenager, including the fun I had with Drew, were directly
connected to Todd! How could I not love him?

I knew that she didn't understand, not completely, but she didn't judge
me. She made her regular reports for Dr. Josten's study and often
congratulated me for avoiding the mental anguish so many trans-gendered and
crossdressing people suffered as they tried to find themselves. That was
another thing I had Todd to thank for.

A new routine developed for Todd and myself. Once he moved out and classes
began, with, of course, football games starting up again, I didn't see him
as often as I would have liked... which was every second. He would still
come over when he could, sometimes showing up in the middle of the night
just to fuck me and then leave. Other times he would stagger in drunk and
ask me to suck him off before falling asleep sitting on my couch. He never
stayed the night, as the football coach had a curfew for his players during
the season, but he showed up at really odd times which told me he wasn't
really obeying that curfew or was sneaking back out after check in.

I saw his car at Amanda's a lot, but knew that he was also dating another
girl named Carrie whose father had a lot of money. I began to notice that
on nights I didn't see his car at Amanda's that I would see him later at my
apartment. Now I understand what was going on but then I couldn't see it;
Carrie didn't put out but Amanda did, so on the nights he dated Carrie he
would come to me later to ease the pain in his blue balls. I was more than
willing, even grateful, for the opportunity to do that. Even when he only
came over for an hour I was thrilled just to be with him. He was my whole
world, outside of work and my one weekend a month with Drew.

I went to all the home football games to cheer for my infrequent boyfriend
but spent more time exchanging glares with Amanda then I did watching him
play. Todd never did miss a game waving to me and seemed to spend more
attention on me than he did Amanda but he didn't just ignore her
completely, which drove me nuts. I tried to dress nicer and nicer each game
to show her up but she always outdid me. Her clothes were better and her
body better built; I had no chance. Todd waved away my tears.

"I spend more time with you and enjoy being with you a lot more than her,"
he would say, dropping a panty peeler on me and then kissing me
softly. "She's hot and the sex is great but you're the one I always come
back to." That was his new mantra; I was the one he always came back to. I
just wish he wouldn't leave so he wouldn't have to come back to me. I came
to understand that he did care for me but I was more of a convenience, like
an old comfortable shoe, than someone he couldn't live without. No matter
what went wrong he knew that I'd eagerly welcome him back with open arms,
and spread legs, whenever he needed me. I was his new Gina, though I think
that he cared more for me more than he had for her. I hoped so anyway. By
Thanksgiving it wasn't enough anymore.

Chapter 28

It was early November when I went back to California. Drew picked me up as
usual but he wasn't alone; he had a little tramp named Toni with him. Toni
was his new girlfriend and they were exclusive. I guess he wanted her along
so that I wouldn't rape him. Toni was an ugly little drudge with hair
extensions and no boobs; what could he have ever seen in her? She was also
in the same study as me but lived only a few blocks from Drew. She claimed
to be `pre-op' and to have been on hormones for years but she looked like
nothing but a boy in a dress. She liked wearing low-cut tops but had razor
stubble on her chest! Razor stubble!

Things weren't any better when I returned home. I caught an earlier flight
and reached my apartment a couple of hours before I should have and
surprised Todd fucking Amanda. They were going at it like the world was
ending and he was hammering away at her snatch like an engine. They never
even heard me come in and I got a good view of his piston-like ass drilling
away between her spread legs as she grunted away beneath him. Something
just died inside me. I left without their even knowing I'd been there. When
I returned later Todd was there to welcome me home, kissing me and grinding
his hard cock into me as he hugged me fiercely.

"I missed you so much," he growled, guiding my hand to the bulge in his
pants. "I need you now."

Hating myself all the while I still sucked his dick. He came over Friday
night, no game that week, and we had a small Thanksgiving dinner
together. I told him that it was over for us and explained what I had
witnessed. He was sad, he even cried, but was so very sweet and
understanding that it broke down all my fortifications and left me sobbing
in his arms. We made long, slow love that night as we knew it was going to
be the last time.

I quit my jobs that next week and closed out my lease. Dr. Josten's office
arranged for me to get an apartment in LA and I was enrolled at UCLA for
the spring semester... as Megan. They were very helpful and even helped me
to get my name legally changed. The move itself was easy as most of my
stuff was easily disposed of, we burned the couch in the back yard, and
after purging my clothes of any remaining icky-boy things and most of my
early girl things I shipped my surviving clothes to my new home.

Todd was supportive about the whole thing and gave me a ride to the
airport. He brought Amanda along and as a farewell gift gave me the most
passionate kiss and grope I'd ever experienced outside my apartment. People
were staring at us! The jealousy on Amanda's face was exquisite and I
whispered my thanks in Todd's ear as he all but dry-humped me against a
wall. He could be so sweet.

He made it even better as I boarded the plane, waving to me and, right
there in front of Amanda, called out, "I'll always love you Hillbilly
girl!"

 I thought Amanda was going to go into convulsions right there.

I don't think I needed the plane to fly that day.

Chapter 29

So that's my life story, but it's only the beginning. I'm here in my new LA
apartment looking at some brochures Drew gave me when he dropped me
off... with Toni along of course, making sure I didn't sneak in a grope
somewhere along the line I guess. The brochures are on Sexual Reassignment
Surgery and something I'm seriously considering now that I have the money
from my uncle's estate.

I don't know what the future will bring but right now I'm sitting on my new
terrace, watching the shirtless pool-boy cleaning the pool. He's tanned
dark from the sun and his little Speedos are doing nothing to conceal the
distinct bulge in his crotch that has grown since he first noticed me in my
tiny, floss-like bikini. I'll start looking for work tomorrow but as for
today, perhaps some sun bathing is in order. Maybe I'll ask that delicious
young man if he can spare some time from netting leaves out of the pool to
rub some sun-tan lotion on my nearly naked body. Perhaps I'll reward him
for his faithful service with a breathtaking blowjob.

After all; we Hillbilly girls need to keep in practice.