Date: Wed, 21 Jan 2004 12:42:47 -0800 (PST)
From: curious <pansutorht@yahoo.com>
Subject: Moms Stolen Nylons Part 1

(Mom's Stolen Nylon Stockings)

I am a 44 year old half-breed Lakota man. I may be a singular oddity in
this world because how many other Indian men do you know that loves nothing
more than to dress himself up in a garter belt and nylon stockings so he
can fantasize about fucking older women and older men? My sexual
orientation is "bi" and I really believe I'm a bisexual man because I love
nylons so much. I say this because it was my own overwhelming desire to
discover what it feels like to wear nylon stocking during sex that
eventually led me into having my first homosexual encounter with a much
older man when I was 19 years old.

Over the years of my life I have repeatedly struggled with my sexuality
trying to come to grips with it by first denying to myself that I am
sexually attracted to certain older types of men because older men make me
feel soft and feminine inside. At the same time I'm also sexually attracted
to older women because they also make me feel soft and feminine
inside. Oddly enough I'm not sexually attracted to men my own age or if
they are younger than I am and I probably feel this way because I realize
that if I ever were to fuck a younger man that instead of me being the soft
feminine one it's more likely that I would end up having to play the more
dominate role between us and that just isn't to much of a turn on for
me. At any rate I grew up feeling confused about my sexuality. It has never
been easy for me to deal with my sexual feelings involving nylons because
my desire to see them, touch them, wear them, and dream about fucking an
older woman while both of us are wearing nylons or to let an older man fuck
me while I'm wearing nylons is just really to complicated for me to
understand most of the time let alone try and explain.

My family has always lived on various Indian reservations because mom and
dad worked for the Bureau of Indian Affairs. During my boyhood our family
lived on five different Indian reservations from South Dakota, Montana,
Oregon, and finally back home again in South Dakota because working for the
BIA meant moving around a lot so dad could earn promotion and advancement
within the Bureau. Growing up Indian on reservations made coming to grips
with my bisexuality and nylon fetish really hard on me for several
reasons. You see as an Indian boy it isn't easy growing up on an Indian
reservation. It always makes me laugh whenever I hear a non-Indian talk
about how wonderful it must be to be Indian and grow up within a tight and
supportive "community" environment where children are nurtured by their
elders who are always around to help the little ones and teach them the
ways of their ancestors.

Yeah right. The truth about growing up Indian and living on reservations is
so far from the idyllic non-Indian perception of how Indians raise their
children that it isn't funny anymore. When I was little lifestyles and
social relations between people on the reservations we lived on were as
tumultuous and chaotic as anywhere else in the country. The Viet Nam war
was still underway and Indian people just like non-Indian people were going
through a tremendous period of social and political change. And wouldn't
you know it that right in the middle of all this social change taking place
throughout the county that this is the time period that I have to grow up
in. Here I am this little 11 year old half-breed Indian boy who is only
just developing his own little nasty nylon stocking fetish and discovering
for himself just how wonderfully sensuous and sexual nylon stockings are
but I'm going through all of this and having to deal with my nasty desires
for loving nylons and wishing at times that I was a little girl at a time
period in the country when anything that is even slightly suggestive of
possessing homosexual tendencies can result in getting you beat up or
thrown into jail.

In those days being "queer" could really get you into trouble physically.
Homosexuality wasn't socially accepted nor was it tolerated back then and
little boys like myself who grew up liking and wishing they could wear soft
silky girly things on their bodies really had to hide our feelings and bury
them deep down inside of us because we never dared to let anyone know the
truth about what we were feeling. The fear of being found out that you were
a girly-boy which is how I saw myself back then and getting beat up for it
was tremendous and quite real. So feeling like I do about women's nylons
and growing up when I did really fucked me up emotionally and to be honest
I'm still hiding my nylon stocking wearing ass from everyone I know in this
world.

The following is a true story that I consider to be a form of personal
therapy for me. I am writing about my own sexual experiences and about my
own sexual fantasies. If you are offended by reading sexual material
pertaining to bisexual behavior and sexual fantasies about incest, and
adult men fantasizing about other men then go somewhere else. If anyone
reading my story would like to contact me feel free to do so my e-mail is:
pansutorht@yahoo.com I would enjoy reading mail for others who may have
gone through what I have or anyone who would simply like to write.


I was only 11 years old when I stole my first pair of nylon stockings from
my mom. The year was 1969 and ever since then I have been a nylon stocking
lover. Mom always wore dark brown nylon stockings with reinforced heels and
toes and I can remember when I was a child that I would be home from school
pretending to be sick and sneaking into mom and dads room so I could
rummage through mom's underwear drawer and take out her stockings and play
with them. I used to rub them across my naked torso and across my face and
smell them all the while enjoying the electric tingling sensation they
would create across my skin. I used to love just sitting on mom's bed
playing with her nylons and I remember how much I use to enjoy laying her
stockings out in front of me and just lose myself staring at them and
totally forget about my surroundings. I would stare endlessly at mom's
nylon stockings and marvel at how pretty they were. I especially liked to
stare at the darker colored sections of her stockings like the thigh tops
were the nylon material is doubled over and down at the reinforced heel and
toe area. The color contrast between the stocking tops and reinforced heel
and toe sections to the rest the stocking is simply sensuous looking to me
and always has been.

Women's nylon stockings make me horny. They always have. As a little boy
during the school year on occasion I would get to see my mom dressing
herself for work in the mornings and I can still remember her in her
bedroom standing in front of her dresser mirror with only her under
garments on while she was putting on her makeup or fixing up her hair. I
don't ever remember seeing mom totally naked. All of my memories of her are
of seeing her just half undressed standing in front of her dresser mirror
wearing a white bra, a white silk half skirt and underneath the skirt her
white girdle and her nylon stockings. Sometimes she would have on her high
heels as she stood in front of her mirror and sometimes she didn't but
regardless of whether or not she was wearing her high heels the only real
part of her that I stared hard at were her nylon stocking clad legs. If mom
wasn't already wearing her high heels before fixing herself up in the
mirror when she did put them on she would do so by first sitting down on
the edge of her bed next too me. Bending down she would grab her shoes from
under the bed and then she would cross her stocking legs and put her heels
on by leaning down and slipping them on her feet crossing and then
uncrossing her legs for each shoe. Each time mom crossed her legs I would
hear the soft swishing noise her stockings made rubbing against her skirt
and against each other. This sensual swishing sound nylons make when they
rub together is still highly erotic too me and it is a sound that I listen
for even now when I see women wearing nylons or when my wife and I fuck and
she is wearing her nylon stockings for me.

I remember that I used to get this funny tingling feeling between my legs
whenever I looked at mom's stocking clad legs for too long. Every time this
funny feeling started happening too me I would always get really nervous
about it because I didn't know what caused this tingling tickly sensation
to occur or why I felt it so strongly between my legs. To be honest the
sensation use to scare me so whenever I started feeling it I would stop
watching mom and quickly get out of her and dad's room and go back to the
bedroom I shared with my younger brother. Getting away from mom and the
sight of her stocking clad legs always made this funny feeling go away yet
even though this tingling feeling use to scare me because I didn't
understand what it was I have to admit that I liked it when it
happened. How much time passed before I finally realized that the tingling
sensation I got from looking at mom's stocking clad legs was actually me
getting an erection I don't remember but the day I finally found out about
what an erection is still makes me cringe a bit in embarrassment when I
think back about it because it happened to me right in front of mom.

Shortly after the start of my 3rd grade year in school I was watching mom
put her high heels on one morning and staring down at her stocking clad
legs. Then curiosity got the better of me and I impulsively reached over
and put my little hand down on her stocking thigh. Touching mom like that
and feeling how soft and smooth her stocking was made my body tremble and
goose bumps began popping up all over my body. There are three things about
that morning that I remember the most. The first thing is the tingling
sensation I always got looking at mom's legs in nylons seemed to explode
outward from my groin and I felt my little dick grow out and press itself
firmly up against my white cotton underwear. The second thing I remember is
the physical reaction mom had when I started rubbing the palm of my hand
along her thigh. Perhaps rubbing her thigh seemed innocent enough to her at
first because I recall that we looked at each other while I was touching
her leg and for a moment there it didn't look like mom was to upset about
me rubbing my hand along her thigh. But then she looked down and saw that I
had an erection and her physical reaction to seeing the little tent I had
in my underwear scared the shit out of me and I still cringe a bit whenever
I think about this day.

A shocked surprise registered on her face when she looked down and saw my
little erection bulging out the front of my underwear and she kind of
jumped in place on the bed and leaned back away from me at the waist. I
have never forgotten the tone of her voice she used when mom called my name
out that morning because only mothers are capable of using that special
authoritative tonal inflection on their kids that immediately tells a
child; "Oh shit. Mom's mad and I'm in trouble." I simply froze in place
once she said my name. I felt her grabbing me tightly by the wrist and
lifting my hand off of her thigh and then I began crying because I was so
scared over how she was reacting. I was absolutely mortified over what had
happened to my little dick and I tried to pull away from her and jumped off
of the bed so I could take off and run away. But mom wasn't having any of
that. Without letting go of my wrist she stood up from the bed and stopped
me dead in my tracks. Using her other hand she grabbed me by the shoulder
and forced me to sit back down on her bed and then she stood in front of me
and began scolding me for behaving so naughtily in front of her. God I
cried buckets that morning as mom scolded me. Most of what she said I've
long forgotten but I still remember the fear and confusion I felt while I
was getting chewed out for getting an erection off of mom. How long she
lectured me I don't remember, but eventually she calmed down and the
sternness in her voice was replaced with motherly concern for a crying
child. I suppose she must have felt that I had been appropriately chastised
for my behavior because she sat back down next too me and hugged me and
held me until I stopped crying. I told her that I was sorry that my little
dick had been so nasty and that I would do whatever I could to make sure
that it never got that away again and mom just smiled and gave me a hard
hug saying she loved me and that she wasn't upset with me anymore and then
she let me go and told me to go and get ready for school which is exactly
what I did.

The third and final memory of my first erection happened a short time later
after I finished washing my face and hands in the bathroom which was next
to mom and dad's room. As I was drying my hands and face on the wash towel
I overheard mom telling dad about me getting an erection from touching her
leg. Listening to her tell dad about my unexpected erection I was terrified
that he would come into the bathroom and drag me off and give me a spanking
for being so bad. But then I heard him just break up with laughter and he
let go a belly laugh that I can still hear in my head. When dad started
laughing mom tried to tell him to stop but I could hear that she herself
was trying not to laugh as well. Of course their laughter heightened my
sense of embarrassment but at the same time hearing mom choke back her own
impulse to laugh along with dad somehow made me feel better. With both of
them laughing about what had happened I knew that I wasn't going to get a
spanking and once I realized that I wasn't going to get into anymore
trouble I felt relieved and quickly got my little ass out of the house and
went off to school.

Neither mom nor dad ever made me sit down to speak with me about what
happened when I touched mom's stocking clad thigh. I suppose they didn't
because it was such an embarrassing moment for all of us. Of course as a
result of what happened I wasn't allowed to watch mom dress for work
anymore. But I must admit that I really wanted to feel my little dick get
all hard and stiff again and several times after my first erection I tried
to tell my little dick to get hard again by looking down at it and
commanding it to do that nice thing again like it had when I touched mom's
stocking clad thigh. But try as I might nothing I ever said to it would
make it get stiff for me. A whole year would pass and I would be 12 years
old before I got my next one.

In late September of 1970 mom and dad decided to treat all of us kids with
an unexpected gift for Halloween. Instead of just buying a Halloween mask
from the local Ben Franklins store for trick or treating they got out the
Sears & Roebuck Catalogue and told us kids that each of us could look
through the catalogue and pick out any Halloween costume in it that we
wanted. We all picked out a costume and after that almost every day once I
got home from school I would get the catalogue out sit down on the couch in
the living room and daydream about how much fun I would have that year for
trick or treating. Then just a little bit before Halloween I came home and
got the catalogue to check out my costume again. Sitting down on the couch
like I always did I started flipping through the pages to get to the page
where my costume was but instead of opening up the catalogue towards the
back I opened it up from the front which is where the ladies section
was. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the catalogue had pictures
in it of pretty women modeling underwear and hosiery. The instant I saw a
picture of a woman modeling nylon stockings my little dick grew hard and
stiff again and I felt it pressing up tightly against my jeans. Oh I was in
heaven that afternoon. Looking at all those pretty women in the catalogue
wearing nylon stockings made my heart race and my little dick grew so hard
that it actually started hurting me. Before I knew it I was so carried away
with myself that I ended up planting these soft lingering kisses on the
legs of the models and pretending that I could actually feel the smooth and
silky texture of their nylon stockings on my hot little lips. Once I
discovered the sears catalogue giving myself boners became a constant
activity of mine. Whenever I looked at those pictures of the women modeling
nylons in the catalogue I got instantly hard and I would feel just
absolutely nasty inside. Very quickly looking at the sears catalogue became
something of an obsession with me because I just couldn't get enough of
looking at those women wearing nylon stockings. Ultimately the ach I felt
inside to see a real woman wearing nylon stockings led me into peeping at
my mom.

Peeping at mom really made me feel nasty. Of course I had to be extremely
careful because any one of my brothers or sisters could have easily caught
me so whenever I snuck up quietly to mom's bedroom door to peep in at her I
never lingered to long. I always made absolutely sure to listen for anyone
coming into the hallway. The first time I peeped at mom I got such a hard
boner in my shorts that I couldn't help but reach down between my legs and
start fondling myself. Spying on mom not only gave me nice delicious boners
to play around with. I was really beginning to learn about sex at that age
and gradually I began sneaking into mom's room when I was home alone and
get into her dresser drawer where she kept all of her nylons. I would take
her stockings out of the drawer and play with them and pretend that I was a
little girl sometimes picking out my nylons and selecting a pair for me to
dress up in. I carried on like this for quite a while but I never actually
put any of mom's nylons yet. I think I wanted to but for whatever reason I
simply never acted on the urge. What I did end up doing though was screw up
enough courage to steal a pair of her stockings. Although I knew that
stealing nylons from mom was wrong and that I would really get into trouble
if I got caught I just couldn't help myself so one day I snuck into her
room and opened up her dresser drawer to reach in and grab a pair of her
stockings. I felt so nasty inside that my entire body just shook with
excitement. I couldn't just reach in and grab a handful of nylons and then
take off with whatever I had picked up because if I did that then mom would
surely notice that she had stockings missing. Instead I was careful and I
carefully rummaged around inside the drawer looking for a pair of stockings
that I thought went together. Towards the back of the drawer I found a pair
of nylons which were slightly darker in color than the rest and those were
the ones I took.

I'll never forget stealing mom's nylon stockings even though the first pair
of nylons I took from her didn't stay with me very long. I was absolutely
terrified of someone discovering what I had done. I grew so afraid of being
caught with mom's nylons that I worried endlessly over it. I kept mom's
stolen stockings hidden in the bedroom closet tucked away on the top shelf
back behind some shoe boxes and whenever I got a chance, which wasn't very
often, I would get them down and play with them for as long as I could
before rolling them up and returning them to their hiding place. In the
beginning with that first pair of nylons all I really did with them was
hold them up against my face and rub them softly across my cheeks, nose,
lips, eyes, and forehead. I enjoyed how they smelled and how silky smooth
they felt against my skin. On occasion when I felt brave enough to do it I
would hold a stocking in each hand and dangle them out in front of me so I
could look at them because I loved staring at the darker colored portions
of the stockings, the stocking tops and the reinforced heel and toe
sections. When it came time to put my stolen nylons back in their hiding
place I would always make sure to kiss each stocking before returning them
to their hiding place. I loved playing with those nylons and I wish I had
been able to keep them forever. But I was growing so afraid of getting
caught with them that I just had to throw them away. So one day I got them
down and stuffed them into my pants pocket and went outside back behind the
garage and under the tree that grew there I buried them in the ground. I
imagine mom's nylons are still there under that tree even after all of
these years because even though we would move away from that town in 1973
to another place in another state. I have gone back to that the town where
I grew up and our old house and the old car garage with the tree growing
behind it is still there.

I was still 12 when I screwed up enough courage to steal another pair of
nylon stockings from mom. By that age I was fully aware of what sex was and
my friends and I had actually gotten into holding boner contests with each
other. It was a harmless game we played from time to time whenever the mood
struck us, which was quite often, and whenever we were alone together and
somewhere private. The object of the game was too see which one of us could
get the hardest boner and of course this meant that we also had to let the
others touch our stiff little dicks and squeeze them in order to determine
which of us was the hardest. I liked playing that game because I always
felt dirty and nasty inside. Whenever one of my friends reached out to test
how hard I was the sensation of some one else's hand on my little hard dick
made me catch my breath. It felt so good being touched like that. At first
when we started playing this game among ourselves I would get hard by
thinking about the women wearing nylon stockings. How my friends got hard I
don't know. But once all of us started playing this game on a regular basis
I decided that instead of just daydreaming about nylons to get hard I made
up my mind to steal another pair of mom's stockings. This time I wasn't
going to let my fear of getting caught ruin the fun I knew I would have
with them. The second pair of mom's stolen nylon stockings was the first
nylons I ever put on.

I had always wanted to actually put mom's nylons on but I never
intentionally did so until one day while I was playing with "my" stockings
I accidentally dropped one of them down between my legs just below my groin
area. I wasn't wearing any jeans just a pair of cut off shorts so my thighs
were bare. When that stocking dropped down across my lap it felt like an
electric shock suddenly shot through my body. Inside my cut offs my little
dick got so hard that it hurt. Jesus Christ that stocking felt good against
my bare skin and I remember gasping out loud in sheer pleasure. After that
I started to do more with my stolen nylons then just giving myself thrills
from looking at them, touching them up or running them across my face. I
started to get totally naked to play with them and I would lie down on my
bed and spread my legs apart. Then slowly I would begin trailing the
stockings up along the inside of my legs and over and across my hard little
dick. It felt so good and wonderfully nasty pulling each stocking across my
hairless prepubescent balls that I would lay there jerking and jumping in
sheer pleasure. Every time I did this I would have to force myself to keep
quiet and not cry out as I sent wave after wave of wonderfully nasty
sensations running throughout my entire body. Playing with my stolen nylons
like that made my hard little cock leak a clear but really slippery fluid
out of the open slit at the tip of my dick. At the time I didn't know that
this fluid is called pre-cum. At first when this fluid started to come out
I simply ignored it and tried to be careful so I wouldn't get any of it on
my stolen nylons. But it didn't take me very long to realize that I could
wipe this fluid up with my finger and spread it around across the tip of my
cock which increased my sense of pleasure. Eventually I grew curious enough
to try tasting it so one day I reached down and grabbed my dick and
squeezed it as hard as I could trying to get as much of this clear fluid as
I could to bubble out of me and puddle up at the tip of my little
dick. Then I reached down with my other hand to wipe it off with my finger
and quivering in anticipation I licked it off and swallowed. I liked
it. Even today when I jack off while wearing my nylon stockings I like to
take my own pre-cum and rub it across my lips and put drops of it on my
tongue and swallow it down.

Finally the day came when I put my stolen nylon stockings on for the first
time. I was so nervous about doing it that I literally shook with a mixture
of anticipation and fear. I checked, double checked and then triple checked
the house to make sure that I was totally alone. Then once I was satisfied
that I did have the house to myself and that all of the doors were locked I
got undressed and got mom's stolen stockings down from their hiding
place. Lying back on my bed I rolled one stocking down to the foot like I
had seen mom do. Then I lifted my leg and slowly insert my foot and pulled
the stocking up. The horny sensation that raced through was incredible. My
little dick literally jumped between my legs and I remember moaning out
loud with pleasure. I couldn't wait to get the next stocking on and after I
had both stockings pulled up as tightly as I could on my legs I had to lay
there a moment to catch my breath. Gasping I lifted both of my legs up and
reached down with my arms to hold my legs up over me so I could look at
myself.  I was so enraptured by the sight of myself wearing nylon stockings
that I actually felt a little faint. How deliciously snug they felt on me
and how pretty they made my legs and feet look. The way the stockings
hugged my legs and feet sent chills rushing throughout my body and my
little dick was so hard that my pre-cum simply leaked out of me
non-stop. Mom's nylons felt so incredibly smooth and soft on my legs that I
spent a good deal of time just rubbing my legs and feet together and
enjoying how wickedly nasty I felt. I thought about what it must be like to
be a girl and how lucky they were to have such soft and silky things like
nylons to wear. I felt so pretty wearing those nylons it didn't surprise me
one bit when I began wishing that I really had been born a girl so I could
wear nylons all the time. The more I thought like this the more girly if
felt inside and feeling like that brought out this warm soft submissive
little girl in me that I never knew I had.

Putting mom's stolen nylons on changed me. I felt so horny with them on
that I kept reaching down to my hard little dick to wipe up my pre-cum and
eat it. I was fantasizing what it must be like to fuck a girl who was
wearing nylons and how it might feel to actually stick my hard little dick
into a girl's pussy when out of no where the image of me and my friends
having a boner contest suddenly popped into my head. Before I knew it I was
imagining that my friends were standing around me in a circle yelling at me
to show them my boner. I pictured myself slowing opening up my jeans and
then letting them fall down to my ankles so my friends could see me wearing
nylons on my legs. Of course the sight of me in stockings would make every
one want to crowd up around me so they could touch my stockings and reach
down to play with my hard little dick. As I laid there on my bed
fantasizing about this I started getting more and more nasty and pretty
soon I was picturing myself laying down on my back on the ground with my
legs spread apart and letting the other boys mount me one by one so each of
them could lay on me and rub their hard cocks up against my own. As one of
my friends got on top of me I would reach up and hold onto the hard cocks
of two others gently stroking them up and down their hard shafts.

Umm it felt so wonderful to have stockings on and I felt so incredibly
nasty and girly that day.

I loved to play with my stolen nylons. The more I played with them and put
them on the more feminine I felt so it didn't take long for me to begin
resenting that I was a boy and not a girl. I felt this way because girls
unlike little boys could wear nylons whenever they wanted to unlike me who
had to hide what I was doing. I lived in fear back then of being caught and
found out by some one and I knew that if I continued to get nasty with
mom's stolen nylons in my bedroom that eventually I would be caught. So to
protect my secret what I started doing so I could indulge in my growing
sexual fantasies is I would go down to the river that ran along the north
side of small reservation town we used to live in back then. The river
separated the town from the city park and I and my friends used to play
down along the river all of the time building army forts and basically
raising hell like only little boys can. There were two places along the
river that I called my hideouts, places where I felt safe and didn't have
to worry about any one seeing what I was doing. My first hideout was just
down from the bridge and basically it was just a simple little clearing
hidden away among the trees growing along a creek running down to the
river. I used to go there during the spring and summer of the year. My
second hideout was underneath the bridge itself up behind the first bridge
pylon but I would only go back up under the bridge during the fall because
in the spring and summer the bugs in there were just too thick for anyone
to actually stay there. At my hideouts I was totally free to indulge in
whatever sex fantasy my dirty little mind could conjure up and believe me I
did a lot of conjuring back then.

(End for now)