Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2017 15:37:09 +0000 (UTC) From: Suzanne W. Jeffries Subject: My First Month As A Girl, Installment 1, TG My mother was one of seven siblings and grew up in a lower middle class family. Not so lower middle class that they didn't have the essentials but they had no luxuries at all. People raised in this kind of environment usually left home to make their own way in life as soon as they were old enough and able. Of the girls in the family the oldest, Liz, married and moved about 100 miles away when she was 20. Liz was always bossy and forever speaking her mind. I guess being the oldest she was used to always getting her way. With marriage being give and take it wasn't for her. So two divorces and two daughters later she was a single parent supporting herself and her two daughters, Barbara and Nancy. Barbara was five years old than me and Nancy was my age. By the time I was about 10 I would spend a month or so with them during the Summer while my parents vacationed. This got me out of going on some boring adult vacation consisting of museums and plays and other things a pre teen boy had no interest in plus it allowed my parents three weeks alone to take their own vacation without having to make accommodations for me. On the other hand it allowed me to cut Aunt Liz's grass and do other chores around her house that weren't considered women's work. This helped her save money and kept me out of trouble. This arrangement worked out good for a couple of years with the exception of my cousin Nancy. Her favorite pass time was accusing me of hitting her or pushing her down and then running to Aunt Liz crying fake tears. Barbara would usually come to my rescue by telling Aunt Liz the truth and straightening the whole thing out. This happened enough to be an annoyance but didn't rise to the level of being a real problem. Aunt Liz would meet out what she considered to be the appropriate punishment. Usually something very mild unless she thought I was actually guilty. Well as I said this arrangement worked fine for a couple of years until the perfect storm happened. When I was 12 my cousin Barb was to be gone to camp the whole time of my visit. So my chief advocate and conflict resolver was not going to be there. There was nothing for me to do but try to make the best of it. After packing my clothes Mom gave me a hug and told me to mind my aunt and make myself useful. I told Mom and Dad by, Aunt Liz put my suitcase in the trunk of her car and off we went. As soon as we arrived Aunt Liz asked me to cut the grass. It had obviously been neglected in anticipation of my arrival. The grass was tall and took longer than usual, I got very dirty and sweaty. Just before I was finished I hit something in the tall grass that turned out to be my cousin Nancy's My Little Pony. The grass was so tall and the toy way so small I just didn't see it. Well Nancy put on quite a show. She claimed I did on purpose just to be mean and without Barbara there to plead my case I think Aunt Liz halfway believed her. After supper my aunt told me to get my suitcase out of the trunk and take a shower. I had Barbara's bedroom and bathroom all to myself which would be nice. At least I could have some privacy and get away from Nancy at night. After my shower I opened my suitcase to get some clean underwear and pajamas only to find it was stuffed with some old curtains and bed sheets. OH NO! My Aunt had picked up the wrong suit case when we were packing to leave my parent's house. Being in a house of 3 females there was nothing to wear and no one to borrow anything from. To make matters worse my parents left on vacation just after we left so there was no one to call. Did I mention this was the Summer of 1969? So we couldn't call them on their cell phone. What was I to do? The answer may have seemed obvious to everyone else but not me until my aunt said "you'll just have to wear some of Nancy's things". Obviously I protested but Aunt Liz told me Nancy was my size and there were no other clothes in the house that would fit me. Nancy must have overheard us because the next thing I know she's standing there holding a pair of panties and a night gown. I took the items from her only to hear Aunt Liz ask "What do we say?" to which I replied "Thank you Nancy". I went to my room and put on the panties and night gown. My aunt brought me a matching robe and slippers and told me to wear them whenever I left my room. Needless to say I didn't plan on leaving my room but as with everything else that day my plans changed almost immediately when my aunt called for us to come watch TV with her. As soon as she saw me she told me to go put my robe and slippers on which I had forgotten of course. Aunt Liz had milk and cookies for us and we watched some drama that she and Nancy were in to so I ate my cookies and drank my milk without asking any questions. When the program was finished she said "OK girls brush your teeth and get in bed". Nancy gave me this evil grin which I didn't understand at the time even though I soon would. Aunt Liz woke us up the next morning at 7:00 and told us breakfast was at 7:15 and not to be late. At 7:15 sharp I was in the kitchen in my night gown, robe and slippers. My aunt was a really good cook so we had a wonderful breakfast after which she dropped the bomb. "OK we're leaving at 9:00 for the mall. Their big sale starts today at 10:00 and I want to be there when the doors open." "I can stay home, right?", "No", "My clothes are out of the wash, right?", "No", "What do you expect me to wear?", "Nancy can pick out something of hers for you to borrow like last night". "I can't go out dressed like a girl", "Yes you can", "People will see me and make fun of me", "No they won't. when we're finished with you you'll look like every other 12 year old girl there, plus you need to stay with us and we'll be in the women's and girl's departments the whole time", "I can't and I won't", "You can and you will". With that I took the march down the hall with my evil cousin Nancy (MECN) to get my outfit for the day. Nancy came out of her room with a white training bra and panties, a denim skirt embroidered with pink flowers, a pink top to match the flowers on the skirt, some white gladiator sandals and various accessories. She handed me everything and told me to get dressed. She also told me to not be the one to make Aunt Liz (AL) late for the sale. With all this I returned to my room to get dressed. I put everything on and waited for my aunt's inspection. She told me I looked cute. The only change she made was to brush my longish hair into a more feminine style and set it in place with hairspray. I heard under her breath say "We'll have to do something about this hair later". After this she instructed MECN to make sure I knew how to walk and sit like a girl. AL told me to take it seriously if I wanted to fit in and not be noticed. It felt so silly practicing walking and sitting but I took AL's advice to heart and tried my best took be as feminine as possible. The last thing in the world I wanted was to stand out as a twelve year old boy dressed like a twelve year old girl. On the drive to the mall AL and MECN were debating on a girl name for me. They decided the simplest thing to do would be to use my regular name Bobby so I wouldn't have to get used to being called something else. They cautioned me if I had to write my name to write Bobbie like a girl. They also gave me a pep talk to remember to the girl lessons MECN had given me. They told me to be my usual shy self but while I was being quiet and standing back to pay attention to the other girls. Watch their movements and mannerisms, etc... Notice what they are wearing and how they are wearing it. When we pulled up at the mall just before we got out of the car my MECN gave me a necklace, a bracelet, some clip on earrings, a little blush and some lip gloss. I felt so strange but off we went. As we walked into the mall AK said, "Now follow me girls and pay attention." I was so scared that's exactly what I did. We arrived just in time for the sale and AL was off to the women's department. She told us to go look around the girls department and see what we could find. After about an hour AL came and found us still in the girls area. On the way out we passed the cosmetics counter and were told we could each have three items. MECN picked out some perfume, eye shadow and lip gloss. I didn't want anything but AL insisted and told me I was being rude by turning down her offer. While all this was going on MECN was over on the next isle talking with some friends. AL and I finally came to an agreement and I chose some foundation, rouge and mascara. I didn't really know what any of them was for but I wanted out of the store so bad I just picked something. Nancy reappeared with a huge smile on her face and told us she had some good news. Her friend Beth had invited her and her cousin Bobbie to a party that Friday evening at her house. There would be about a dozen girls and the same number of boys, from 7 to 11. Pick up food, socializing and dancing. I was horrified to say the least. AL interrupted my protest and told me to calm down and stop making such a big deal out of it. I remember her asking "You've been to a party before haven't you?" "Well this is pretty much the same only a little different." "You're just going to dance and have a little fun not to pick out a mate for life. Just calm down and have a good time" "Dancing with a boy is almost the same as dancing with a girl, Nancy will show you the difference." Oh boy or should I say Oh girl now is was dependent on Nancy to come to come to my rescue. Maybe I should try to stay on her good side. It was beginning to look like I might need her help before this whole thing was over. AL and MECN were trying to decide if they had an appropriate dress for the party for me. They discussed it in front of me like I wasn't standing there. I could see them taking a mental inventory of Nancy's and Barbara's clothes after which they decided we needed to return to the girls department and pick out a party dress for me. Was I ever going to get out of this mall? Nancy was having a little too much fun helping AL pick out my dress. I must have tried on 25 dresses before they settled on one. Just when I thought my day in Mall Hell was over I learned we had to have shoes to go with my new dress. While I obediently held my new dress my aunt and cousin went through pair after pair of shoes. Finally they settled on a pair white patent open toe with 1" heels which I later learned would require me to wear nail polish. To my astonishment they had the correct nail polish at home and we didn't have to go on a whole other expedition to find it. We checked out and left! Victory! We were out of the mall! On the way home MECN asked AL if we could go to the beauty shop on Friday morning before the party to have our hair, makeup and nails done to which I replied "No Way!" AL informed me if we didn't go to the beauty shop we would probably spend most of the day doing it ourselves in addition to doing our regular housework. She also told us it would be a good opportunity for us girls to spend some time together so I caved. AL also warned me about going to the party as a girl and not looking as good as possible. "Your hair and makeup and nails need to look like they were done by a girl. You need to look like a girl." If it was going to happen I might as well sit back and let someone else do all the work so I caved again (caving was getting to be a bad habit). Over the next few days we settled into the routine of me being dressed as a girl 24/7 and MECN giving me girl lessons every time she or AL thought I needed them. If I protested they would tell me to act like more feminine so they didn't have to keep reminding me. It really wasn't all that difficult. Wearing girls clothes kind of makes one want to sit and walk and carry one's self like a girl. Wearing an apron and helping AL with the house work served as a constant reminder of my situation. The last time I asked about my boys clothes AL made me sweep the front porch and walk and told me not to ask again. Being out front in a skirt and top having to speak to the neighbors kind of put me in my place. It doesn't sound like much but it was my first experience having to deal with other people on my own as a girl, having to think on my feet and remember to be feminine and be a girl. Tuesday evening Nancy and I complained to AL of being bored (big mistake) so we were told to pick out a shade of nail polish we could both live with and do each other's fingers and toes. It was Summer and most girls our age kept their nails polished all the time we were told. My protests fell on deaf ears. AL just pointed down the hall and off we went. MECN only had 4 different colors all very similar so we chose one and got started. Nancy wanted me to see how they were done so she started with me explaining as she went. First she shaped every nail with an Emory board, then she worked on my cuticles until she was happy with them, then she used nail polish remover as a cleaner and next two coats of polish. I was told the color was fuchsia. I was also told to pay attention because if I messed up on hers she would do something bad and blame it on me. Nancy got her nails ready while mine were drying. Now it was my turn and I did every nail trying to remember how my cousin had done it and being extremely careful. I was amazed at what a good job I did and so was Nancy. After a while my aunt came in to check on us only to find us chatting and comparing our manicures. It felt strange but Nancy did not seem so awful. We had kind of a moment where we were friends. Girls and women are so much more intimate (and I don't mean sexually) with each other than men and boys. Girls who are friends get to know each other on a closer more intimate level that guys in the same situation. While we did each other's nails we talked about all sorts of things, my parents, AL, clothes we saw at the mall, other girls she knew, which ones were nice and which ones weren't and after it was all over we had the same color nails. Sensing this AL told us to brush out each other's hair that night before going to bed. Once again we talked until we were finished. Nancy told me about a boy she had a crush on at school who she didn't see much or at all during the Summer. This is where my observation skills came into play. When girls complain about something they don't necessarily want a solution they just want to be listened to and sympathized with so that's what I did. I didn't do as most boys would and suggest a solution or plan of action. I just sat and listened and when Nancy was finished talking she thanked me for listening. Anyone can dress like a girl and wear makeup and lip gloss and mascara but I thought listening as I had was a real breakthrough. The next morning as we sat eating our breakfasts AL told me she had thought about it and decided for me to stay a girl for the rest of my visit. There were so many things where as a boy I would be such a third wheel and without Barbara there to stay with me in those situations it made it easier on her for us to all be "girls". She also told me she had put my boy clothes up where I couldn't find them and even if I did I was forbidden to put them on. "If we are going to pull this off you need to get used to being a girl all the time." All this time while she was laying down the law all I could think of was that it didn't sound all that bad. To make up for what she was not going to save on the yard man by using me she was going to cut back on the maid and use Nancy and I to help with the housework. The idea of doing housework didn't really thrill me but at least it was inside out of the Summer heat. The only real hitch was that next week AL was hosting her bridge group and Nancy and I were to be her junior hostesses. I was finding out slowly that the social scene in a small southern town was like a spider's web. You get one little toe in and all of a sudden you are invited to this, that and the other. It seemed never ending. The next couple of days before the party passed uneventfully. Nancy and I did our housework and stayed out of trouble. We helped AL like two good little twelve year old girls should. Between the laundry, the cleaning, the bathrooms, the vacuuming, the dusting and on and on I never realized how much work being a girl could be. Not to mention having to do our hair plus AL was beginning to teach us about makeup as well as teaching me about feminine deportment. It seemed like every time I slipped back into boy mode AL was right there to correct me and tell me to be more feminine, "Keep your knees together, smooth your skirt before you sit down, cross your legs, cross your ankles, mind your voice" and on and on and on. I wondered why we had to do our hair and makeup to do housework but I didn't ask I just did what she said. AL said we should get used to (especially me) always being ladies and we needed the practice. I had always been one to do as he (now she) was told and I guess depending on your perspective it was either serving me well (if I wanted to be a girl) or poorly (if I had any thoughts of staying a boy). Thursday, the day before party, came uneventfully and I would say went uneventfully except for one little snag. Nancy had sewing class during which AL had bridge. I suggested I could stay at home by myself but AL put the kibosh on that. Nancy suggested that we find Barbara's old sewing kit from when she took lessons and I could go along to class with her. Well AL thought that was the best idea she had ever heard. She told me on top of maybe learning something I could use later in life it would give me the opportunity to socialize with other girls my age in preparation for the party and the rest of my visit there. Nancy quickly came up with a dress for me and before I knew it we were in the car on the way to sewing lesson's at Mrs. Wesson's. AL told me to be vigilant about my feminine behavior, etc... and she told Nancy to watch out for me and help me if I needed it. Mrs. Wesson was old fashioned so we had to wear panty hose, Mary Janes, earrings and a necklace the only thing we got out of was makeup because according to her we were too young. So AL dropped us off with little fanfare and drove off. I felt so vulnerable standing there dressed completely as a girl with no one to protect me but Nancy. Over the last few days Nancy had changed from my evil cousin Nancy to my life line. She was the main person I depended on the keep from being discovered. We had quarreled so many times in the past it would be poetic justice for her to "out" me but AL had given her strict instructions and she followed them to the letter. Well Mrs. W. was a trip. She was very old fashioned but in a charming sort of way. On top of our sewing instruction she corrected two or three of the other girls on how they were sitting or for whispering or some other minor breach of good little girl conduct. There were nine of us and when class was finished we had some social time with punch and cookies. Nancy introduced me to everyone which felt really uncomfortable. I could tell the other girls were sizing me up and trying to decide what to think about me. This was so much different than boys. I don't know how to put it in words but I felt so unprotected but thanks to Nancy she never left my side. To be honest I'm not sure what I would have done without her. Our social hour went on for what seemed like forever but finally AL arrived. I thanked sweet Mrs. Wesson for letting me sit in after which we got in the car and left. On the way home AL asked me if Nancy did her job in keeping me out of trouble. Truthfully I don't know what I would have done without Nancy and that's what I told AL. She was so wonderful and took such good care of me I wanted to make sure I gave her all the credit she deserved. Nancy made eye contact with me in the back seat and mouthed "Thank you". It seemed like something changed that day. Our relationship had always been sort of adversarial but it felt like we were becoming friends. Well now back to Thursday, finally the rest of it finished uneventfully. After dinner we took our baths and dried our hair. No need to roll it tonight because we were going to the beauty shop tomorrow. We got into our night gowns, robes and slippers and watched a little TV with AL and then off to bed. As I lay in bed that night I wondered what was in store for me the next day at the beauty shop and the next night at the party. Sewing class with other girls was awkward enough. What was it going to be like socializing and dancing with boys? My only comfort was that Nancy would be with me. I had so much trouble going to sleep that night I went next door and begged Nancy to sleep in her other twin bed. She made the promise to clean the bathrooms and do all the laundry on Saturday before letting me in. Even though that was a lot of extra work I agreed. Friday was going to be really different with lots of new experiences from the beauty shop to being dressed to the nines (as a girl) to socializing with girls to socializing with boys to dancing with boys etc... I was having a lot of anxiety and wanted someone to talk to and my new best friend Nancy was it. As we lay awake that night I asked her question after question. She could tell how nervous I was and tried to soothe my nerves by telling me that it wasn't rocket science. "Girls do this every day so just take it easy and calm down. Everything will be OK and you have me there so you don't have to go through it alone." That made me feel so much better and I fell asleep feeling more confident and reassured. Friday was finally here. We got right to our chores so we could finish in time for our beauty shop appointments. The ladies there were so nice. First they washed our hair, then they rolled it and put some kind of fluid on it before putting us under the dryers. I was told we were getting perms though I didn't realize at the time that perm was short for permanent and for that matter I didn't realize what a permanent was. To make a long story short we sat there like good little girls and relaxed while we got our manicures and pedicures. AL decided on French manicures and coral polish for our pedicures. Having never seen a French manicure before I was amazed how feminine my hands and feet looked. We thought we were only getting our hair and nails done but to our surprise AL had arranged for us to have makeovers. Once out hair was dry but before the curlers were taken out we were given full makeovers. I had worn a little makeup but nothing like this. Foundation, rouge, eyeliner, eye shadow, and coral lipstick to match our pedicures. Next the curlers came out and our hair was brushed and teased and hair sprayed into shape. Once the beauticians were satisfied with everything they turned my chair around so we could see ourselves in the mirror. We saw two beautiful 12 year old girls looking back at us. The transformation was unbelievable. It was so exciting. My first thought was "We look just like girls". It took a couple of seconds for it to sink in that Nancy was a girl and (me) Bobbie just looked like a girl. I was mesmerized at how pretty I was. Not to sound stuck up but I was beautiful. I almost started crying but the beautician got on to me and said "You better not cry, you'll ruin your makeup". They gave us both the makeup they used to put in our purses for touch ups. It was only a little after three and the party wasn't until seven so we had to stay pretty until then. We were starving because we had been at the beauty shop since eleven so AL stopped at a local restaurant on the way home so we could get a bite to eat. After we ate she made us take our compacts our and check our makeup. We both had to reapply our lipstick. Once we were presentable we took our purses and left. Back at home Nancy showed me how to dance as a girl. We put on some records and she took the boys part and let me take the girls part. We practiced for a little over an hour before she pronounced me ready for the party. She warned that everyone would want to meet me but since I was only visiting it wouldn't be as bad as if I were moving there. Nancy told me "You're my cousin so that's your in". All the girls except for a couple of the snobby ones will want to say hi and maybe talk for a minute and all the boys will want to dance at least once unless they are going steady. For the rest of the afternoon and up to and including the ride to the party I asked Nancy every question I could think of. "What will the other girls ask me?" "What will the boys ask me?" "Should I dance with anyone who asks?" She was so sweet and patient and answered everything is asked. Just before leaving the house AL and Nancy helped me into my new dress. My hair and makeup needed a little touching up so we did that. I wasn't ready for the shoes. They only had a one inch heel but that combined with the open toe making my nail polish visible made me feel extra feminine and it was amazing how different it was walking in heels. With the necklace, earrings, bracelet and carrying a purse I felt like a little Christmas tree. Nancy told me how pretty I looked and I told her the same. My heart was pounding wondering what that night would be like but off we went. On the drive to the party AL warned us "Nothing more than hand holding and kissing and make sure you don't kiss more than one boy." I was almost numb thinking of what lay ahead of me. Nancy could sense my nervousness and tried to calm me down by telling me it was not a big deal and it was just for fun and no one took it seriously. "If a boy asks you to dance just dance with him." "If a boy tries to hold your hand let him." "Just remember let the boys hold you chair and get your punch, etc... let the boys be the boys and you be the girl it's not that complicated." Mrs. Stephens (the hostess) and Caroline's mom greeted us at the door. Nancy and I thanked her for inviting us and went inside leaving her and AL chatting at the door. The music was a little loud and I had to be careful not to slip back into my guy voice when trying to be heard. Nancy warned me to speak softly and it nothing else just to not be heard. She told me if I raised my voice too much I would sound like my old self and that would be a problem for everyone involved. So taking her advice I made sure to keep my voice soft and feminine. Nancy introduced me to all the girls except for a couple who were a bit stand offish (or stuck up) and as the party went on she also introduced me to the boys. We (the girls) sat and talked and stood and talked waiting to be asked to dance at least the other girls did. I was fine with just talking and keeping the boys at arm's length but with such a small group that wasn't really possible. Nancy was asked to dance which left me standing alone until one of the boys came over and said "Hi, my name is Mark. Would you like to dance." I almost froze but Nancy's training earlier in the day kicked in and I said "Hi Mark, my name is Bobbie, and yes I would love to dance." With that I sat my cup of punch on the table, Mark took me by the hand and off we went. We danced a couple of slow tunes and a couple of fast tunes after which Mark thanked me for the dances and that was all. Maybe Nancy was right, maybe it wasn't such a big deal. Mark was a gentleman and dancing with a boy was OK, it wasn't as awkward as I thought it might be. Concentrating on being the "girl" took a little effort at first but after a dance or two it was second nature. Also, while I was dancing with Mark Nancy and I made eye contact and she gave me a reassuring look which really boosted my confidence. The party went faster than I thought and before I know it was almost ten o'clock and I had danced with 3 other boys one named Chris and two whose names I don't even remember. Nancy asked me to go to the bathroom with her. She told me to pay more attention and not be so cavalier about who I was spending time with. She warned me that if AL asked who I danced with I had better know their names then she told me the other two boys were Anthony and Larry. I repeated over and over in my head "Mark, Chris, Anthony and Larry" until I knew them forward and backward. They had all been nice and perfect gentlemen so there was really nothing other than their names to remember. We used the bathroom, touched up our makeup and hair and then returned to the party. Toward the end of the party they were playing more slow songs which made me a little uncomfortable but Nancy kept telling me to relax and not make a big deal out of it. About ten thirty a tall good looking boy named Baxter asked me to dance and of course I said yes. We danced 2 regular songs and then one slow song during which he put his hands around my waste and I put my arms around his neck just as Nancy had shown me. Toward the end of the song he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I didn't know what to do so I kind of froze. I told him I was sorry for being so nervous but I didn't know anyone there and didn't want to make a bad impression. He told me to relax and then kissed me again but this time I kissed him back and it was glorious. I didn't want to stand there and make out with a boy I had just met in front of a bunch of strangers so I forced myself to stop after 3 or 4 seconds. The last fifteen minutes or so of the party we held hands and talked. Baxter seemed like a sweet boy and he was certainly handsome. I noticed Nancy had paired off with Chris and hey seemed to be hitting it off. We were having such a good time eleven o'clock got there before we knew what was going on. AL drove up and the boys walked us out to the car holding our hands. They held the doors for us and helped us inside which I must admit was really nice. Getting in and out of a car in a dress was more difficult than I had imagined it would be. We talked for another minute or two while AL chatted with Mrs. Stephens and then we were gone. On the drive home AL asked all about the party. "Did you girls have a good time?" "Were the boys gentlemen?" "How many did you dance with?" Now this is where being with Nancy's earlier advice saved me. "Bobbie, which boys did you dance with?" "The first boy was Mark, then I danced with Chris, Anthony and Larry." "What about the boy who walked you to the car?" "Oh yes his name was Baxter. He was such a gentleman and very sweet." "Did any of the boys try to kiss you?" Nancy interrupted "Mom! give us a little privacy." AL said "I'm just trying to be responsible and be a good aunt." I interrupted "It's OK Nancy, yes AL Baxter kissed me twice. The first time I wasn't ready so I explained to him I was nervous and asked him to do it again but I broke it off after three or four seconds because I didn't want to be seen as making out in front of a bunch of strangers." Al said, "Good thinking girl." Then AL asked, "Well what did you think?" I answered, "It was like everything else tonight, familiar but also different. I've kissed girls before but it felt like I was doing the kissing. Tonight it felt like I was the one being kissed." I didn't know how to explain it any better than that but AL was reassuring and told me she understood what I was trying to tell her. I also told her I felt like the girls were measuring me up and not like at sewing class. At sewing class we were competing for Mrs. Wesson's attention but tonight we were competing against other girls for the boys. A couple of the less friendly girls there seemed to be looking down their noses at me. Fortunately since I don't live here and don't have to deal with them at school it didn't bother me too much. Even though I found myself comparing my dress, hair, makeup, etc.... to them and wondering to myself if the boys thought I was pretty enough. I told her I now understood why girls went to the bathroom together like Nancy and I had. We didn't really need to pee all that bad but we did need to touch up our hair and makeup and talk about which boys were being nice and which girls were being nice. Going to the bathroom as a girl is a whole different thing. Boys go alone, they go to pee, they wash their hands (maybe) and then they're finished. I also told AL how nice it was to have Baxter interested in talking to me. He asked so many questions about where I'm from, what I like to do, he paid me some very sweet compliments. It was very enjoyable talking with him. He also insisted on walking me to the car and helping me in. Even though I was only wearing one inch heels it's hard to walk on uneven ground in the dark and it was so reassuring to have someone to hold my hand and hold the car door for me and help me in. Getting in and out of a car in a dress isn't easy. AL asked me what if anything I learned that night. I told her the most lasting lesson I came away with was that girls go to so much trouble to look pretty and most boys take it completely for granted. Some boys like Baxter seemed to really appreciate it. As soon as I had a cup of punch in my hand standing on the opposite side of the room from the boys I realized my hair, makeup, manicure, pedicure, dress, shoes, jewelry and my feminine mannerisms were all for the boys. As a boy I never noticed what the other boys were wearing but as a girl I was acutely aware of how the other girls looked. I guess this was my first big lesson in being a girl. Riding home in the car that night I didn't know the full extent to how well this lesson would serve me during the rest of my visit. That night in bed Nancy and I talked and asked each other questions until we fell asleep. I asked most of the questions and did most of the talking because it was all so new to me. She told me I was lucky because Baxter was such a nice boy from a nice family and he seemed to really like me. We talked about which girls were nice and which ones weren't so nice. I held on as long as I could but it had been such a long day and night I finally conked out. Saturday was like any other day except with a little let down because we had so much fun at the party the night before. We woke up, put on our robes and slippers and came to the kitchen for breakfast. AL noticed we looked a little down so she told us after we finished all our housework she would take us to the mall to do a little shopping. Nancy wanted a couple of things plus AL said if I was going to stay a girl all month I needed some more underwear and some everyday things. Earlier that week we had gone through the attic and found some of Barb's old things that fit me well. Nancy had a thing about wearing hand me downs so there was a lot to choose from. With the way trends change some of her things were out of style but we were able to come up with enough to keep me clothed as a girl without any problem. Skirts, shorts, pants, tops, dresses, shoes and sandals. We picked out the things what we thought I needed and moved them into the extra closet in Nancy's room. There were two empty drawers in Nancy's dresser which is where we planned to put my newly purchased things, training bras, panties, panty hose, tights, etc... After this it was back to our housework with a trip to the mall as our reward as soon as we were finished. I couldn't believe how anxious I was to get to the mall considering how anxious I was to get out of there just a few days earlier but the truth was I was getting used to living as a girl and there were a lot of things I liked about it. There were things that made me nervous but with Nancy there to help me it seemed like I could get through anything. So anyway we went to J. C. Penny and bought a week's worth of underwear for me. We looked through the jewelry department and the my horror they had a woman piercing ears that day. Nancy begged AL to let us get ours done and I begged her to stop begging. Thank goodness AL put her foot down and reminded Nancy not a day before her 13th birthday. I felt like I had gotten a huge break. I could always change back into my boy clothes but pierced ears would be a little harder to explain. We passed by the cosmetics department on the way out and AL offered to buy us each our own perfume. As I had learned earlier when AL offered to buy something for you it was considered bad manners to turn her down. Nancy picked out her top two. She. got one and I got the other. When we got home we took my new panties and training bras out of the packages and put them in the drawers. Nancy suggested I go through Barb's clothes that were still in style and try on the things I was interested in. We must have spent 2 hours picking through and trying on her clothes. We put everything that fit in my closet and then Nancy went through and took out the items she thought were out of style. When we finished I had my closet more than half full. I felt like I was off to a good start building a wardrobe. For what I don't know I was only going to be here a month. Why on earth did I need a wardrobe and for that matter why did I need all those panties and bras? Not being very inquisitive served me well this time or poorly depending on your point of view. My first week with AL and Nancy was such a whirlwind but now it seemed like we were falling into a routine. Between hair, makeup, lotion, shaving our legs and underarms, keeping our nails polished etc.... etc.... being a girl was almost a full time job but I kind of got used to everything. About the only time we were able to let our hair down (pun intended) was at night when we got ready for bed. Like I said pun intended. We had to wear this thing around our head to protect our perms so even at night we had to be concerned with our hair. We also had to put on lotion to keep our skin soft. But night time was easier than the day. We got to wear night gowns, robes and slippers which were the most comfortable items of girl attire. I can remember thinking "Just let me get out of this bra and these panty hose or tights and these shoes and into a nice clean pair of panties and my night gown." If you have never worn panties and a night gown I highly recommend it. It's hard to explain but I always slept so good and in my girl night clothes. It also reinforced my situation to stay dressed as a girl 24/7. Also in the mornings it was such a temptation to stay in our night gowns, robes and slippers but AL wouldn't allow it. As soon as we were finished with breakfast and done with the dishes she always made us get dressed for the day. We had to do our hair, put on a little makeup and pick out something cute to wear. Being a girl wasn't all that bad. With our routine being established and with Nancy there to share things with it was kind of fun. The one thing I really wasn't prepared for was the boys. Nancy was popular at school so she knew lots of boys and since I had been to the party with her I had also met some so the inevitable happened. We would run into boys at the mall who would ask us to walk around with them. Out in public it was pretty harmless because nothing could happen except for maybe holding hands as we walked. But then they would ask us to meet them at the movies which was dark and allowed more opportunity for other things like kissing etc... Fortunately we always seemed to have a conflict but one afternoon we ran into Chris and some other boys. Nancy really liked Chris so without asking me she accepted his invitation to meet at the movies. I couldn't believe it. She didn't even ask me and I didn't know any of the other boys. Nancy was probably my closest friend and for that matter probably the closest friend I had ever had but I came so close to getting mad at her. Once she explained to me she wanted so badly to meet Chris I instantly forgave her. The only thing was I wondered what I was going to do while she was with Chris. She reassured me the other boys were nice and not to worry so that evening we got dressed, fixed our hair and put on some makeup. Nancy gave us both a spray of perfume and we were off to the movies. AL offered to drive us but the theater was only about a quarter mile from her house so we walked. AL reminded us to mind our manners and out reputations. I was so nervous I don't even remember what was playing. On the way there Nancy told me to just be cool and go with the flow. This was our first time out with boys unchaperoned and she wanted to make a good impression on Chris. She told me not to freak out if one of the other boys wanted to hold my hand or kiss me or put his arm around me or buy me a Coke or something else harmless. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was ruin her chance with Chris so I told her I would try my best. Well as it turned out only Chris and one other boy showed up. We were introduced. His name was Matt and he seemed like a nice enough boy. When we got to our seats Nancy and I sat in the middle and put the boys on the outside. During the previews they offered to buy us Cokes. Nancy and I accepted for both of us to get rid of the boys for a few minutes. While they were gone she begged me to let Matt do anything in reason so she and Chris could be undisturbed. I asked her what she meant but before she could give me any specifics the boys returned. Even though I was surrounded by the other movie goers and sitting next to my cousin Nancy I felt so alone. Maybe I would be lucky and Matt would only be interested in the movie. Well as had been the case so far my fears were somewhat unfounded. Matt and I held hands for a while. A little later on he put his arm around me which was really kind of nice. Toward the end of the movie he kissed me twice. For some reason it struck me as being just for fun with no strings attached so I tried to "go with the flow" as Nancy had told me earlier. When the movie ended the boys offered to walk us home and Nancy accepted before I could say anything. On the way out of the theater we ran into Baxter and a couple of other boys and spoke to them. They were polite enough but Baxter acted a little different or weird or something but I didn't think too much about it at the time. The boys walked us home holding our hands. When we got home again before I could say anything Nancy invited them in and they accepted. AL came to the door to let us in and meet the boys. She had some drinks and snacks ready for us in the kitchen like she knew we were coming. I think AL and Nancy just didn't tell me some things to keep me from freaking out. After we had our snacks we sat in the den with the TV on but the sound turned down all the way and the radio on the local top 40 station. The TV was really the only light in the den so it was kind of dark and before long Nancy and Chris were kissing and before a little longer so were Matt and I. For the most part kissing is kissing but as a girl it was different. It was always clear to me who was kissing and who was getting kissed. Since I didn't grow up as a girl I hadn't had years to learn how to handle this. It had all been thrust on me in the last two weeks. It was amazing how I was able to handle it. There were so many big changes. Switching to living as a girl full time, doing girls chores/housework, socializing with adults as a girl, socializing with other girls as a girl, socializing with boys as a girl. Anyway back to Nancy and me and Chris and Matt. After a few minutes Nancy made an eye motion to me that I took as meaning to scram so I asked Matt if he wanted to sit on porch swing and he said yes. We sat in the swing talking for a little while. Matt complimented me on how I looked and told me he thought I was pretty (which was nice to hear as much work as we put in on our looks) but eventually he put his arm around me and kissed me like I had never been kissed before. We were full on, no interruptions, making out. I remembered Nancy telling me to go with the flow so I did. He put his hands almost all over me, almost, and I let him. It felt so good to feel desired. After a couple of minutes I became aware of AL standing inside the screen door clearing her throat and the porch light came on. She did the same with Nancy and Chris in the den so I guess it was time to cool it. I think she knew what we were doing but only wanted us to have a little taste. It was all for the best because the boys had to be home at ten. They thanked AL for the snacks, we walked them to the door, both of them kissed us good night and off they went. Nancy and I thanked AL for being such a good hostess and so sweet allowing us to have the boys over. AL told us we could thank her by cleaning up the kitchen and getting ready for bed. We both took baths and washed and rolled our hair. Nancy rolled mine and I hers. We talked as girls do during the whole process about the boys, the movie, the walk home, the abbreviated make out session and before we knew it our hair was rolled and ready for inspection by AL. We put on our hair nets and got dressed for bed. As usual we talked in bed about things in general plus what happened that night. Nancy asked me how I liked Matt and what it was like making out instead of just kissing. I told her I thought it was nice having someone to walk us home and hold our hands. It was also really nice to be admired and appreciated for how I looked. Later on in our chat session I asked Nancy about running into Baxter on the way out of the movie and how strange he acted. Nancy started laughing and I asked her what was so funny. She said "He was jealous girl." That didn't seem possible we had only met at a party and he hadn't called me since. "He was probably trying to work up the nerve silly girl. Some boys take forever. I bet he'll call you now." It made me feel so strange thinking a boy was jealous of me spending time with another boy. Living and dressing as a girl was one thing but being perceived as one by my peers was another. Good thing Nancy was there to help me pick up on social cues or that one would have gone right over my head. We chatted a while longer and as usual dozed off with all these new thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head. The next day started with our usual routine. AL made breakfast and afterward Nancy and I cleaned the kitchen. Next we took our rollers out and brushed out our hair. AL helped us tease and brush it into the style she desired and then sprayed us with so much hairspray I thought we would suffocate. There were so many things to remember and so many things to think about I had completely forgotten this was the day we were acting and junior hostesses for AL's bridge group. It was just one thing after another, sewing class, the party, the movies, etc... and I was expected to take it all in stride. As usual I expressed my misgivings to Nancy and as usual she told me not to worry. According to Nancy the worst part was having to get dressed up and spend two or three hours around a bunch of "old ladies". We had to greet them at the door, offer to take their purse and jacket, and then get them something to drink. To get ready for the "old ladies" we did our makeup, put on our party dresses and presented ourselves to AL for her approval. We were pronounced ready and told to come sit in AL's bedroom while she got ready so she could make sure we knew what was expected of us. She told us to be attentive to her guests, sit up straight, stand up straight, act like young ladies, keep an eye on each other's makeup and hair and a whole bunch of other stuff I hoped Nancy would help me remember. She also told us to take this opportunity to pay attention to how she did her hair and makeup. "Never pass up a chance to learn to be more feminine and lady like." I actually took her advice to heart. So many things were just second nature to Nancy but I had to be mindful so as not to slip up. It didn't seem fair but like the entire situation I tried to make the best of it. Once AL's guests started arriving the first hour or so went by quickly. Nancy and I had so much to do. We put their jackets and purses in Barb's room. We served drinks and started preparing the "lunch" AL had gotten ready earlier. Fortunately for us it was little sandwiches and other finger food so the stove wasn't involved. As usual for me the most difficult part was once we served the ladies we had to sit and visit with them. They asked us all sorts of questions. They quizzed Nancy about school, and me about my visit and if I was homesick. They complimented us on how pretty we looked. For most of the impromptu Q&A session Nancy and I sat with our hands folded in our laps and answered yes ma'am, no ma'am and thank you ma'am. They did pry a little asking Nancy jokingly how her love life was going. They also asked me if I had met any good looking boys. I answered shyly trying not to be too specific because Nancy warned me Baxter's mom was one of the guests. Having all the attention on us and being asked so many questions made me a little uncomfortable. I was actually glad when it was time for the ladies to return to their bridge and Nancy and I to do the dishes and tidy up. By the time we were done the ladies were finishing up and chatting before getting ready to leave. Like good little junior hostesses Nancy and I got their jackets and purses. As they were leaving one of the ladies sort of pinched my cheek and said "Baxter was right about you. You are a living doll." I didn't know what to say so my instincts kicked in and before I knew it I said "Thank you ma'am. That is so sweet of you." Once the ladies were out the door Nancy told me the one who pinched my cheek was Baxter's mom. I had already kind of figured that out. AL really heaped the praise on us and told us how proud she was of how we conducted ourselves. As a reward she told us she was taking us shoe shopping. We were elated and hugged each other. It occurred to me later that it was a little odd for me to be so happy about going shopping for girls shoes but I was. We were about to change for our shopping trip but AL suggested we stay dressed up so we could go out to eat afterward. It was about an hour before we finally got out the door on our way to go shoe shopping. Nancy and I had to touch up our makeup and hair and then sit and chat with AL while she did the same. There were two department stores and three or four shoe stores in the mall so that's where we went. We passed the jewelry store where the lady was piercing ears again and Nancy begged for us to get our ears pierced (yes, us) but luckily for me AL stood firm on the 13th birthday rule. We both turned 13 in October but fortunately for me I would be long gone and back home by then. We made the round of the stores and got a pair of heels and a pair of sandals each. Neither of us really wanted the heels but AL said it was time for us to learn to walk in them and she wanted us to start wearing them around the house so she could help us learn how to walk in them like young ladies. She also told us how much the boys love to see girls in heels. It was one of those things that seemed unfair, wearing shoes that were hard to walk in just so the boys had something nice to look at, but that wasn't all there was to it. AL explained how good it feels to be accomplished at walking in heels and how being dressed as a girl/woman is also about how it makes one feel. Any way I'm getting off on a tangent. The heels come later. Once we were finished with our shopping we went to a nice restaurant. I was really hungry but AL ordered salads for the three of us. While we ate she asked me how I liked being a girl. What I liked most about it. What I liked least about it. I remember telling her how much work it was and how much different it was than being a boy. As a boy all I ever did was put on some jeans and a t shirt. As a girl it starts at night. Take a bath, wash and roll my hair, cover myself with lotion, think about what I was doing the next day and what I was going to wear. By what I was going to wear I don't mean just clothes there was also which necklace, bracelet, ear rings, rings, did my nail polish clash, pantyhose or tights or nothing, which shoes. Unlike boys, girls had different shoes for every outfit and occasion. So it was complicated and involved but I liked it. The whole routine of being a girl gave me a sense of order and accomplishment. Me being able to fit in and pass as a girl made me feel well like a girl. I had been a boy for twelve years plus and now a girl for only about two weeks but I thought I was getting pretty good at it. In the back of my mind I couldn't help but thinking my time here was halfway over and it made me sad. It also made me a little apprehensive. After a month like this would I be able to just switch back into being a boy? I couldn't help but think about all the beautiful girl things I had and how I would miss them. I was also really beginning to enjoy my time with Nancy. We had become best girlfriends. When I had trouble making up my mind about what to wear or some silly question about a boy she always knew exactly what to say. Before the start of my visit she was my biggest fear but now I don't know what I would do without her. Well even though I was a little sad I decided not to think about it and just enjoy the rest of my visit. Just as I had gotten into the routine of what it took to be a girl and thought there was nothing else I learned once again there was always something else. AL reminded us of the heels we had bought on our little shoe shopping trip and told us to go get them and put them on. Then she said "For the rest of the week I want you both in heels at all times until I am satisfied with how you walk in them." The first couple of days were pretty brutal. I had no idea how hard it was to walk in heels. I saw women in heels all the time and it seemed so effortless. Now I knew why, tons of practice. Every step we took was in heels. They fit well and didn't hurt our feet but walking in them was so different and awkward. About half way through the week AL told us we weren't making enough progress and to put on our party dresses and follow her. We walked about 4 houses down the street where she introduced us to Mrs. Wilson a sweet middle aged lady who AL told us was going to give us some lessons to help us feel and move more naturally in our heels. So we were left there with Mrs. W. for the next hour or so. AL phoned when it was time for us to come home. We both thanked and hugged Mrs. W. and headed home. I think AL and Mrs. W. were watching us to see how much we learned. It was only about a block home but it seemed much longer. We both had to concentrate so hard and still weren't fluid and natural. We went to Mrs. W. for our daily lesson for the next three days and one day AL looked at me and said "Bobbie girl you are finished, you have learned everything you need to know about walking in heels." She then turned to Nancy and said "You're not quite there yet. You're just not as graceful and as feminine as Bobbie." I could see this hurt Nancy's feelings and maybe her pride so I interrupted "Nancy is my best friend and if she's not finished then I'm not finished." Nancy started to cry so I hugged her and told her to stop that it was going to be OK. She had included me and helped me with so many things I wasn't about to abandon her now so off we went to finish our housework both still in our heels. From that moment wearing heels made me feel accomplished and confident. It also made me feel like I was repaying Nancy for being so sweet and such a good friend. After a couple more days AL OK'd Nancy and we were back on even ground. Us girls theorized AL thought this up as some kind of test to see how we would react? Maybe but Nancy and I came out of it even closer friends and feeling really good about ourselves. My visit was intended to be three or four weeks depending on how long Mom and Dad took on their vacation and whether or not they wanted some free time afterward. We were getting near the end of week number three and when AL informed us my parents had opted for the fourth week. I tried not to let AL see how happy I was but I think she knew. When went back to Nancy's room and hugged each other and jumped up and down. AL must have heard us but we didn't care. There was one thing though Barbara was returning from camp that Friday afternoon and leaving for college on Sunday. Up to now this had been mine, AL's and Nancy's secret. Barbara would probably be OK with it at least we hoped she would because we were about to find out. AL went to pick up Barbara at the bus station by herself because she didn't want her meeting Bobbie for the first time in public. Nancy and I sat in the living room like two good little twelve year old girls and waited for AL and Barb. When we heard the car in the driveway Nancy told me to wait in the other room so she could see Barb's face when she saw me for the first time. I waited in our room for everyone to get in the house and exchange pleasantries when AL asked "Where's Bobbie?" Nancy called out "Bobbie, they're here." When I entered the room Barb asked "Where's Bobby?" AL and Nancy each took one of my hands and said "Here's the new Bobbie." "What do you think?" Barb looked closely and asked "Bobby is that you?" Speechless up to this point I answered "Yes Barbara it's me your cousin Bobbie?" Barb looked at AL and said "OK what is going on?" and then she said "Bobbie you look beautiful. You look just like a girl I never would have know who you were if y'all hadn't told me." AL explained the whole sorted tale to Barb and she seemed to understand and approve and then reminded us of a time when Nancy and I were about 5 years old. She dressed us both at girls and we had a "Beauty Pageant." AL caught us and kept us dressed that was for the rest of the day and night as punishment be we didn't react like we were being punished so the next day we went back to normal and never spoke of it again. It didn't make a huge impression since we didn't leave the house and no one else saw us. Any way Barbara said she was thrilled to now have two little sisters. AL took us all out for dinner and then ice cream on the way home. We ran in to some boys at the ice cream place, Baxter and Chris being among them. They came over and talked to us for a few minutes, long enough for Barbara to know we were more than just friends. On the way home she interrogated us about the boys and what we had been up to the last two weeks. Nancy told her all about the party and the movies. Barb thought it was funny or something because she laughed and laughed all the way home. She must have been entertained by her little sister having a love life and her other unlikely little sister also having a love life. She asked what the boys talked about. Nancy told us Chris wanted to go steady and offered her a friendship ring (the standard in this town for our age group at the time). Nancy told him she wasn't ready for that kind of commitment and Barb said "Good girl string him along and make him work for it." I told her Baxter was polite and told me I looked pretty and how nice it was to see me etc... you know all the niceties. Then Nancy said "I can't believe he didn't ask you to go steady as jealous as he acted after the movies." I said "I thought we weren't ready for that kind of commitment." Nancy and Barb both fell out laughing and Barb said "You may look pretty in that dress but you still have a lot to learn about being a girl." "You don't want to go steady yet but you want him to want to go steady." "I think Baxter has had his eye on you since the party. He's a good catch. The other girls around here will be jealous if you end up with his ring on your finger." I told my two new sisters that I really liked Baxter and didn't know if I could string him along like that. "If he asks me to go steady I'm probably going to say yes." Barb said "Do what you want little sis it's your life but I would string him along until he was eating out of my hand." Later that night as we rolled our hair and got ready for bed I asked Nancy it she thought I was gay for being so attracted to Baxter. She immediately replied, "Shoot no Bobbie you are almost as much girl as me." It still felt strange being attracted to a boy and hoping he would ask me to go steady even though my time here was coming to an end. Nancy and I talked in bed until we dropped off to sleep. It was so wonderful having a sister and it was also wonderful being a sister. It's strange how gender changes how one views the world around us. I'm the same person in the same place with the same people but being a different gender makes almost everything different. As a boy I remember placing so much importance on how girls looked not taking into account if they were smart or witty or nice and now as a girl it seemed like we spent so much time on our appearance. It's hard to explain but I felt like as girls we were objectified by boys and the really weird part was that we didn't mind all that much as a matter of fact we liked it. When Nancy and I were getting dressed to go out we were constantly thinking about what would attract attention from the boys and what would give us an edge over the other girls. The whole experience was very different but in a good way. Being a girl really suited me. The next day was set aside for getting Barb ready to leave for college. Going to the store, packing, picking out which clothes to take. AL gave us her credit card and sent us off to the drugstore to stock up on personal care items. They made me go to the feminine hygiene isle by myself to get tampons and pads. They thought it would embarrass me (and it did a little) but I tried to act like everything was normal and ok. We picked up some other things and checked out. Back at home we went through Barb's clothes and picked out some everyday outfits for class and then we put together several dressier outfits for parties and such. Then we had to come up with shoes for every outfit. We then loaded everything in trunks and suitcases and then into the truck of AL's car. After dinner Barb told us to finish the dinner dishes, take our baths and then come to her room to talk to her while she finished the last of packing. We did as we were told and met in Barb's room in our night gowns, robes and slippers. As we all chatted about everything Nancy and I rolled each other's hair while we listened to Barb tell stories from camp. I was particularly interested in her tales of interactions with other girls. I had so little understanding or how girls relate to each other especially as they get older and more competitive. Girls can be so fake sometimes, they can be so mean sometimes and they can be so sneaky sometimes. Barb told me that's why your best girl friend is a such a special friend. Even though I wasn't really a girl that's how I felt about Nancy and I hoped she felt the same about me. Looking back these times with my sisters helped so much in my development as a girl. Being able to look like a girl is one thing but thinking and understanding like a girl was kind of a turning point for me. Not just a turning point in the sense of being able to fit in but feeling like I fit in and was where I was supposed to be. The next morning we got up early, ate breakfast out and got dressed and ready to take Barb off to college. It was only about seventy miles away but AL wanted to get there early and beat the crowd. We talked about one thing and then another on the drive there. I felt so normal dressed as a girl and in the company of 3 other females. We talked about clothes, makeup, hair, boys and men, you name it, if it was girl related we talked about it. I felt so at ease and so much like one of the girls. Before we knew it we were pulling into the town where the university was located. We went past the little shops in the downtown and then up onto campus. AL pulled up to the dorm Barb pointed out to her and we went inside to check in. The woman at the front desk greeted us "Hello ladies. How are we doing today?" Barb introduced herself and her mom as well as her little sister and her little girl cousin. The dorm lady complimented us on how we looked and we thanked her. It was so much trouble looking pretty it was nice to be noticed. That's the one thing about boys that irritated me a little was how they seemed to take for granted how us girls looked without any appreciation for how much trouble it was. Just keeping our hair looking presentable was a full time job not to mention makeup and having decent looking nails. Well it was nice to be noticed and appreciated. One of the nice boys on the lobby carried Barb's trunk up to her room and we carried the smaller things. Barb's roommate Sandy was already in the room so we exchanged greetings. AL suggested Nancy and I go to the ladies room to give Barb and Sandy a few minutes to get acquainted. I was always a little scared in the ladies room so Nancy and I shared a stall and took turns. Afterwards we freshened up our hair and powdered our noses before returning to Barb's room to help her unpack and put her things away. It was getting late so AL offered to take us all out to eat. With Sandy along I was out numbered four to one but it didn't feel like it. For the last 3 weeks my entire day and night was consumed with being a girl. From the time I woke up in the morning until going to bed at night my day was all about hair, makeup, what to wear, etc... I had a closet full of dresses and shoes. I had drawers full of panties and training bras. For goodness sake I had a boyfriend. So to say I fit in with the girls was an understatement. The longer I stayed this way the more I felt like a girl. Being with the girls and being a girl was beginning to feel so normal. I kept wondering in the back of my mind what I was going to do after my month was over but I kept putting it out of my mind like it was a million years away instead of a little over a week. So all of us girls went to dinner at a nice restaurant recommended by Sandy. The conversation was all about boys, makeup, clothes, hair, friends, etc... If I had learned anything over the last few weeks it was to listen and pay attention when in a group of girls and learn as much as I could so I mostly listened until Sandy asked Nancy and I about the boy situation back home. Nancy told her all about Chris and when it came my turn I told her about Baxter and my feelings for him. There are things you know but the reality of the situation doesn't hit you until you hear the words from someone else's mouth ,"Girl you are in love." It hit me like a ton of bricks and I blushed but I knew it was true. Sandy then pointed at me and said, "Look at her face, I think I struck a nerve." I blushed again and everyone had a good laugh at my expense. Fortunately AL came to my rescue and said "Alright girls give her a break, she's new to all of this." I thought AL was about to out me and then she said, "She's never had a boyfriend before." I was relived and suggested we talk about someone else's love life. After dinner we dropped Barb and Sandy back off at the dorm. We all exchanged hugs, kisses and tears before getting back in the car and heading home. We got back at about 10 and AL told us to take our baths and get ready for bed. She told us she had a special surprise for us tomorrow and to get a good night's sleep. We washed and rolled our hair and got in bed. It had been a long day so we conked out as soon as our heads hit the pillow. Tired from the day before we slept a little later than normal the next morning. As usual AL made one of her wonderful breakfasts. After we ate and did the dishes AL said, "OK girls I have a special surprise for you today so go get dressed. I want you to brush your hair out and once you get it like you want it use lots of hairspray. Also, we are wearing dresses and heels today. Pay special attention to your makeup and use the perfume we bought the last time we were at the mall." Nancy and I were so excited we went back to our room and started working on our hair. Over the last few weeks we had sort of become each other's hair dresser. One we had our hair like we like it we did as AL had instructed and set it in place with lots of hairspray. We then got into our dresses and heels. We didn't wear tights or panty hose because our heels had open toes and we wanted to show off our pedicures. Next we did our makeup until we were both satisfied with ourselves and each other and then some perfume. After everything else we put on our jewelry, necklace, earrings and a bracelet. Nancy had a ring with her initial on it that was so pretty and she found the one like it that Barb had when she was younger with a "B" on it for me. I was so excited. We were so absorbed with making ourselves beautiful we didn't pay attention to the voices coming from the other end of the house. AL was having a conversation with someone but we ignored it so we could concentrate on the task at hand. As we stood admiring each other AL called, "Come girls it's time for your surprise." We got our purses and headed down the hall to the living room and to my horror there sat AL talking with my MOTHER. I froze for a moment standing there dressed completely as a girl, hair, dress, heels, makeup, nail polish, well you get the idea. I dropped my purse and turned to run only to hear my mother say, "Bobbie you stay right where you are and don't move a muscle." I was so confused and didn't know what to do so I started crying. My mom motioned me over to her and hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. We sat there for a minute or two and didn't say anything. The AL said, "Nancy let's give them a few minutes alone." They went out on the porch and left Mom and me alone in the living room. Mom started by saying, "Bobbie first of all you are not in trouble. I love the way you look and it is not a surprise to me. It's a long story but if you will listen I can explain everything. Your Dad and I have not been on vacation for the last three and a half weeks, we have been moving him out. He has been having an affair with a woman from out of town (my Dad traveled a lot with his work) and she is expecting a baby. Your Dad has decided to leave me and to be honest I didn't want him to stay after finding out what he had done. We are getting a divorce and he is moving in with his girlfriend in Brownsville. I asked Mom, "When will I see him? Brownsville is over 300 miles from home." Then Mom dropped the bomb, "For now your Dad doesn't want to see either one of us. I tried talking to him but he just got his things and left. Maybe once he's had time to think about it he'll change his mind we'll have to wait and see." I started crying again and Mom wiped the tears from my cheek and said, "Don't cry sweet girl you'll ruin your makeup," but I couldn't help myself it was too much too soon. Sitting there with my Mom dressed completely from the inside out as a girl and finding out my dad didn't want us anymore made me really sad and at the same time it gave me the overwhelming urge to cling to my Mom. I had never felt closer to her or indentified with her more than I did at that very moment. We sat there in silence with Mom hugging me until I calmed down and composed myself. Once I was able to stop crying I asked, "When are we going home?" Mom said, "For the time being this is going to be our home. Your Dad took what he wanted and the remainder is either in storage or given away including all of my clothes. AL and Nancy have invited us to live with them for as long as we like but I should mention the invitation is for me and Bobbie, not Bobby." She explained to me how the situation worked so much better for everyone with me as a girl. She also reminded me how Nancy and I got along so poorly when I was a boy and now we seemed to be such good friends and it was very important for us to get along since we were going to be sharing a room. I couldn't believe my ears and I guess by now it should be obvious to everyone reading that this is why the story is named My First Month as a Girl and not My Month as a Girl. Mom then explained that she was getting my Birth Certificate altered to change my name from Robert Dale Taylor to Barbara (Bobbie for short) Diane Taylor and having my sex changed from male to female and having it done in time to enroll me in school for the fall. She also confessed that the "mix-up" with the suitcase was not a mix-up at all and that she had replaced my clothes with the curtains and sheets. In other words she and AL planned this all along. Having three females and one male in a three bedroom two bath house would have been difficult. Four females made everything so much easier. Everything happened so fast I didn't feel like a had a chance to object and I'm not sure I even wanted to. These past few weeks had been such an eye opening experience. Living as a girl had taught me so much about looking at things from a different perspective and there were so many positives to being female. Our daily routine took a little getting used to but I actually looked forward to chatting with Nancy while we did our hair or makeup or decided what to wear. We had become such close friends over the last month it was hard to imagine not being with her. Girls who are close friends are really close. We talked about everything and cared deeply about each other. If one of us was unhappy the other one genuinely felt it. It's not like I was a bad person as a boy I just never noticed any of this plus not only were Nancy and I not friends we didn't like each other at all. To go from that to being best girl friends in a month was such a reversal but in a good way. It was like my life as a boy was a hundred years ago. It was also looking life as a boy was in the past and the future was going to be all girl. Mom told AL and Nancy to come back inside and gave them the news that everything was OK and we would be staying with them until we were able to make other arrangements. Nancy and I squealed and hugged each other and went off to our room and left Mom and AL to talk. It was going to be a little crowded with another person in the house but I was really glad to have my mother. With Dad basically running off and leaving us she was all I had. Living as a girl also made me feel much closer to her. Now that we had learned our arrangement was going permanent made us girls so happy. In the backs of our minds we had been preparing ourselves for the end of our time together which now wasn't coming. We heard AL call from down the hall, "Come on girls let's go to the mall and celebrate." We still dressed for our big surprise so all we had to do was touch up our makeup and hair and we were ready to go. Mom and AL told us how pretty we looked and off we went. As usual we walked the length of the mall and bought some small items, a ring here, some makeup there, etc... as usual when we left the mall we went by the jewelry store and the lady had her ear piercing station set up piercing ears and as usual Nancy begged and begged AL to let her get her ears pierced. There is as expression "Whistling past the graveyard" which is what I had been doing with this place. Thinking all along that I would be going home soon I wanted to stay as far away from this place as possible but this time was different. It was the second of September and Nancy and I would both be thirteen in October, me on the 8th and Nancy on the 20th. I had just learned earlier that day that I would be living as a girl at least for the school year so I did something I almost never did. I took some initiative and told Mom and AL, "Nancy and I are both going to be thirteen in a little over a month and we want like to get our ears pierced. We to do our chores and mind our manners around the house and help our where we can and we don't think it's too much to ask. Besides most of the girls our age got their ears pierced for their twelfth birthday. It's a little embarrassing to be the only girls at a party wearing clip ones." I looked at Nancy and her mouth was hanging open as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard. AL had been so insistent it shocked us to hear her say, "OK girls, get in line." Nancy squealed had hugged me but to tell the truth I was a bit stunned. Not completely sure what I had gotten us in to I let Nancy go first. When it got to be Nancy's turn the lady doing the piercing motioned her up and patted the seat of the chair for her to sit down. Once in the chair the lady put a dot on each of Nancy's ears and after getting approval from everyone she picked up this gun looking thing loaded with little gold studs and with two quick pops it was all over. The look on Nancy's face was priceless. She was smiling this huge smile and had such a sparkle in her eyes. She had been so sweet and so helpful to me it made me feel wonderful to be a part of doing this for her. I was so caught up in the moment I forgot I was next. As with Nancy the motioned me to sit down. Nancy said, "Go ahead sis' it doesn't hurt a bit." I sat still while the dots were placed on my ears and with my mother's approval I heard the same two pops as with Nancy except louder this time (I also felt them). The next thing I knew I was standing in front of the mirror with Nancy admiring our pierced ears. For some reason it felt like a milestone. Compared to everything else I mean I was standing there with panties, a training bra, a slip, a dress, full makeup, manicure, pedicure, heels, ring, bracelet, necklace, perfume and my hair styled in a very feminine style plus now I was wearing earrings. It was just one more thing but the thought occurred to me that everything was pushing me in the direction of being a girl and even though no one ever told me it had to be deliberate. This was the first thing I had done in the presence of my mother and with her approval so maybe that's what made it feel special but in the grand scheme of things it was just one more little thing. The lady at the jewelry store gave us some info on caring for our piercings until they were healed and off we went. Mom and AL thought it appropriate to buy some pierced earrings so we went by a couple of other places before leaving for home. On the ride home Nancy and I took out or compacts and admired our newly pierced ears. For the next several days we would jokingly complement each other on our "beautiful earrings" and then just die laughing. We had become such close girl friends and were enjoying each others company more and more. When we got home AL told us to stay in our dresses that we were going out to eat in a couple of hours. I helped Mom unpack her things in Barb's room and put everything away. She let me unload her cosmetics case and put everything on and in the vanity. She would occasionally say something like, "Oh that shade of lipstick would look pretty on you. You should try it. Or That foundation feels like you're wearing nothing at all, you should try it when you get dressed tomorrow." She sat me down at the vanity in Barb's/her room and helped me touch up my makeup. She showed me how to use just enough rouge. We added a little eye liner and mascara and when we were finished she told me how pretty I was and how proud she was of me for adapting so well to the situation we were in and how much easier it made it on everyone for me to be one of the girls. She showed me some really pretty earrings I could wear as soon as my piercings healed so I could wear something other than the studs from the mall. She then told me how sweet she thought it was for me to lobby for Nancy and I getting our ears pierced. For the next hour and a half Mom showed me her clothes and makeup and jewelry, etc... She let me brush out her hair and as I did we talked about things we had never talked about. She asked me about the boys here and I confessed to her that I had a "sort of" boyfriend and that we had kissed but nothing more. She asked me if I liked him and I told her I did. She lectured me on how to behave around boys and how to make them treat me with respect. We also talked about looking our best so the boys would notice us and to also try to look better than the other girls. We talked about so many things strange new things, In other words we had our first mother daughter talk and I must say I really enjoyed it. I had always loved my mother but as a boy could only get so close to her. I still loved her the way a child loves a mother but now I also admired her beauty and style and tried to soak up as much about being a girl from her as I could. She opened up to me about how Dad had treated her and how terrible it felt. She also told me how happy she was that we had each other now and how much easier it made everything with me as a girl. It gave me more incentive to be the best daughter possible. But no matter how much girl knowledge I acquired it seemed as though there was always something else. It was so much more than just putting on a dress and doing my hair and makeup. Interacting with boys and other girls was a skill set that had to be learned. There were general rules but so many things had to be learned on the fly. I was so naive I never knew when another girl was being bitchy and sarcastic giving me a phony compliment that was meant to be a cut down. Fortunately for me I think a lot the boys found this innocent and charming. The kids my age knew which girls were mean and stuck up and it sort of tickled everyone else to see someone they had no effect on me. When Mom or AL or Nancy explained something female related to me I listened intently and tried my hardest to remember. With school starting in about another month and I had to finish unlearning twelve years of boy and learn twelve years of girl. I needed to be able to convince everyone, including myself, that I was a girl. The reality of the situation was that I was living as a female in a house with three other females without a stitch of male clothing anywhere and no end in sight so I guess I had better learn to not only accept but also to embrace my new role in life as a 24/7/365 female. That evening we had a girl's night out at a nice local restaurant. It felt strange to be so at home being one of the girls. The general conversation was about makeup, fashion, boys, etc... and Mom, AL or Nancy would always turn to me and ask, "What do you think Bobbie?" just to keep me engaged and on my pedicure toes. We had a wonderful meal and on the way out I noticed Baxter and his family. I was going to just wave high and let that be it but Baxter got up and came to where we were and waited for me to introduce him to my Mom. "Mom this is my friend Baxter, Baxter this is my Mom." Being the perfect gentleman Baxter replied, "It's very nice meeting you Mrs. Taylor." We made small talk for a minute or two during which Baxter noticed my pierced ears, "Oh you got your ears pierced, they look nice" he then asked us to come meet his parents. It was kind of awkward introducing my mother to my boyfriend and meeting his parents but as I had learned to do I went with the flow. I liked Baxter and wanted to make a good impression on his parents. On the way home Mom said she thought Baxter was handsome and she certainly saw why I was attracted to him which also felt awkward but I guess awkward was the new normal. She also said, "He noticed your pierced ears which means you have his attention and he likes what he sees." My Mom thinking my boyfriend was cute and attentive was going to take some getting used to. On the other hand I did have feelings for him and this sort of validated them. Never having had a boyfriend before I was depending on the other women in the house to help me out and give me some guidance. Baxter was a sweet boy and I didn't want to blow it with him. Having romantic thoughts about a boy felt so normal and natural at times and at other times I couldn't believe what I was thinking but the times I couldn't believe it were becoming less and less frequent. "Going with the flow" had gotten to be a habit and one I enjoyed. When we got home AL said, "OK girls hang up your dresses and get in the bath." When we finished our baths we rolled each other's hair and got ready for bed. After getting dressed for bed I went to give Mom a good night kiss (which I never did as a boy). When she saw me standing there in my night gown, robe and slippers with my hair rolled she smiled and said, "Come here sweet girl and give your mother and hug and kiss." She kissed me on the cheek and we sat there hugging each other for a short while and didn't say anything but her silence spoke volumes. When I got up to leave I noticed she had tears in her eyes and I said, "Don't cry Mom. We have each other and we are going to make a great life together. I promise I'll try to be the best daughter I can be." Mom said, "I know you will sweet girl now off to bed, I love you." I hugged my Mom, kissed her on the cheek and off to bed I went. As Nancy and I were brushing our teeth and admiring the gold studs in our ears she thanked me again for helping to make it happen then she hugged me and said, "I love you sis" to which I replied, "I love you too sis." That night in bed I thought about all I had been through and what lay ahead. There had been so many major changes in my life and every time I thought I was finished for a while something else would happen but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. The last couple of weeks of Summer passed more slowly than when I was a boy. As Bobby I was always out riding my bike or trying to play baseball (I do mean trying as I was never much of a ball player) or something else to get myself all dirty and sweaty and the days seemed to fly by. As Bobbie most of my time was spent inside trying to keep from messing up my clothes, or my hair, or my nails or my makeup. Doing chores around the house like making the beds, running the vacuum, dusting, doing laundry, helping Mom and AL in the kitchen, in other words "women's work". As a female the days just seemed to pass slower. Don't get me wrong, I liked it this way. I liked being a girl. Guys never talked about anything personal like our feelings, what we were going to wear, other guys, etc... etc... but as girls that's all we talked about. We were constantly asking each other, "How does my hair look?" "Do I have on too much makeup?" "Don't you think this boy is good looking or that girl is mean?" It was just so much more intimate. Guy friends didn't really know that much about each other on a personal level but girl friends knew just about everything. Nancy and I discussed everything. She was not only my best friend but also the best friend I had ever had and by a long shot. So back to what happened next. About a week and a half before school we were in the middle of our "women's work" when I heard Nancy calling for me. I went into the living room and she had blood on her shorts and running down the insides of her legs. We both knew what it was so we got Nancy in the bathroom and called for AL. Nancy had started her period! AL came in and I asked Nancy if she wanted me to leave and I'll never forget what she said. "Absolutely not." So I sat with Nancy while AL got a tampon for her and showed her how to insert it. She then got some clean underwear with a sanitary pad and some clean shorts. Nancy and I both had tears running down our cheeks as we walked to our bedroom for her to lie down. I sat with her until she fell asleep and then finished my chores and then hers. While finishing up the housework I couldn't help but think of all the things we had done together over the last few weeks and how I had been able to do almost everything Nancy had done but this was different. She had started puberty and would soon start to developed breast and curves. Before puberty males and females were a lot alike physically but after puberty they were so different and this really worried me. As Nancy changed would she feel differently about me or would we still be as close as we had been. We were such good friends and I didn't want that to change. I didn't want to be left behind. The rest of the day I stayed close by Nancy and made sure she had everything she needed/wanted at her finger tips. That night after I rolled my hair and Nancy's and tucked her into bed I went in to Mom's room to give her a good night kiss and started crying when she asked what was wrong I let it all spill out about how worried I was about Nancy changing and me staying the same and how I wanted to be just like Nancy etc... etc... Mom gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She said, "Don't worry sweet girl, we'll figure something out." Over the next week and a half Mom took me and my newly altered birth certificate and registered Bobbie for school and Saint Anthony's. We did some shopping for school clothes. Since we wore uniforms it was pretty simple. We bought some skirts, blouses and dresses, plus a sweater and a coat. Girls at St. A's were required to wear black patent Mary James and we could wear tights or go bare legged. We were also allowed to wear nail polish and makeup as long as it was tasteful. Once we had a full school wardrobe for me Mom told me I needed to get a physical for school. I was horrified of getting a full physical examination for obvious reasons but as usual Mom said, "Don't worry sweet girl I know a really understanding doctor who will take good care of you." During this whole transition I had been placed in one uncomfortable situation after another but I had learned to trust AL, Nancy and Mom. They hadn't done anything to me I couldn't handle. On the day of my doctor's appointment Mom had me wear a simple every day dress, she put my hair up in a pony tail and had me wear makeup like any other day. On the drive over I asked her a million questions. I just couldn't understand how this whole thing was going to work itself out. When we arrived we filled out a bunch of and waited for our turn. There were so many questions on the form but the one that caught my eye was whether or not I had started my period. Mom checked "No" but I remember thinking how bad I wished she could have checked "Yes". When the nurse called my name, "Miss Taylor", I took a deep breath and walked with Mom back to the exam room. The doctor was an old friend of AL. She put me at ease right from the start by saying, "Liz has told me all about you and your special situation. Believe it or not you're not the first "girl" (as she said it she made air quotes with her fingers) patient I've had. Over the past fifteen years I have treated seven others." She told me to take off my dress and lie on the table. She examined me and poked and prodded me as I lay there with nothing on but panties and a bra. When she finished she said, "Get dressed and let's talk for a minute." I put my dress back on and Mom zipped up the back. The doctor got right to the point, "Bobbie you are in a unique situation. Everyone your age is about to start their period or they already have. That is not as much of a problem as you starting puberty. Male puberty will do things to your body to make you very different than the other girls your age. Do you want to develop facial hair or a deeper voice or an Adams apple or other male traits?" I started crying and said, "No mama I want to stay just like I am." The doctor explained to me that she had medicine that could stop my male puberty and other medicine that would make me start female puberty and grow breasts and develop curves like the other girls. She also told me there would be other effects. "Your skin will be soft like the other girls (I had always been envious of Nancy's soft beautiful skin). What little body hair you have will mostly disappear and your penis will stop getting erect and will get smaller." It was a little embarrassing but I made myself listen. I tried hard to think of any questions but I didn't really have any. The doctor and my Mom pretty much addressed every concern I had plus I found myself being more concerned with the end result than anything else. At the end of the appointment the doctor told me, "I will write prescriptions for the two drugs I told you about but to make sure we're doing the right thing and what you want you have to ask me yourself." So I said, "Doctor will you please write prescriptions for estrogen and also for the testosterone blockers to stop my male puberty and make me go through female puberty like a girl." When I finished my statement I asked the doctor if it was good enough and she said, "Yes young lady, let me get your prescriptions. Also, with you and your Mother's permission I want to give you an injection of each drug to get you jump started." We both nodded our heads yes. The doctor left the room and a nurse came in with the injections ready. She had me lift my dress and pull down one side of my panties and gave me both shots right in the rear end. It hurt but I felt so good about what we were doing I didn't mind. On the way home we stopped by the pharmacy and got my scripts filled. I'm sure it was all in my mind but I felt more feminine already or at least I thought I did. Holding the little bag from the drug store felt like I had my future in my very hands. I was so pleased. It all felt so right. When we got home I couldn't wait show Nancy my three pill bottles and tell her what the doctor said. We were so excited. We went back to our room and talked all about it for a couple of hours. Even though my situation wasn't exactly the same as Nancy's we would still be developing our breasts and our curves together. As Nancy put it, "Soon our training bras will have something to train." That night at dinner AL and Mom told Nancy and I how proud they were of us and what fine young ladies they thought we would make. They also told us once our estrogen started to take effect that we would start to see things differently and it would also make us more emotional. They also told us the more we developed the more different we would become from the boys. Nancy and I listened but I don't think we heard or understood. We were to learn that developing into a woman is something that is hard to explained. It has to be experienced firsthand. Like most girls we were going to have to experience it for ourselves. That night after dinner Nancy watched as I took my first dose of two kinds of estrogen and something to block testosterone. Mom made me keep my prescriptions in with her things so no one else would ever find them or as she said, "We don't ever want anyone to discover your secret." I always went into Mom's room with in my night gown with my robe and slippers on and my hair in curlers to tell here good night. She would always kiss me on the cheek and say, "Good night sweet girl," and I would kiss her on the cheek and say, "Goodnight Mom, I love you." I never did this as a boy but now it seemed so natural like I had been doing it all of my life and I couldn't imagine not doing it. With me living full time as a girl including being registered in school as one keeping my secret became something we all had to take seriously. Using Bobbie instead of Bobby was really smart because we never had to worry about me answering to the wrong name or not answering to the correct one. None of Nancy's friends knew Bobby so we were OK there. I had a "sort of" boyfriend so OK there. AL came up with the idea of me being on my "period" every month for the week after Nancy and it was our responsibility to keep up with it. I had to wear a sanitary napkin but not a tampon thank goodness. We were to be ultra vigilant about keeping our secret. I wasn't allowed to try out for any sports teams even though I wasn't much of an athlete we couldn't risk it. So the next week we started school and as Nancy reminded me I started my first period. Walking, sitting, standing or whatever that sanitary napkin between my legs was a constant reminder of my situation although I must admit it made it easier to conceal my manhood or should I say boyhood. Concealment wasn't much of a problem and according to the doctor it would become less and less of a problem but if there was one good thing about my time of the month that was it. Well like I said we did start school and a new chapter in our lives and also a new chapter in this story. To this point it just sort of spilled out. Hopefully "My First School Year As A Girl" will also. Until then Hugs and Kisses, Bobbie.