by Stephanie Silver
Chapter 4 - Katon's Place
Jenna woke up the next morning to a terrible pounding. She rolled onto her back, pushing the pillow from off of her head and grimaced as bright sunlight seeped through the cracks in the curtain. Her head throbbed. "That's it," she muttered. "No more drinking."
She didn't have a hangover, of course. Growing up in a Mormon house in very Mormon Provo, Utah meant she'd had very little exposure to alcohol or its effects growing up, unless you counted what she'd learned from watching movies and television. But that didn't mean she couldn't still pretend she had one. The headache was probably due to having a pillow over her head when she slept, creating an oxygen debt, carbon dioxide surplus thing that translated into a headache. That or being thirsty. Sometimes that did it. Yeah, the headache was probably due more to not drinking enough than having drunk too much.
Two aspirin would cure her headache, but the pounding was still there. "Who the fuck is that?" she muttered, stumbling off the bed to go peer through the peephole.
Through the long, thin crack between the door and the door jamb, she could just make out the silhouette of a man standing at her door. The peephole's glass was so scratched and clouded that she couldn't tell a whole lot more by looking through it. The man knocked again and called out, "Jed?"
Whoever the hell it was, he knew her name. At least her old name. That meant it wasn't the manager or anyone from the motel, stopping by to fix the shower, or bringing her breakfast in bed. The manager would have asked for Miss Kaye. Whoever it was stood perfectly still for a moment, staring at the peephole. He must have noticed the shadow from inside, and now was basically posing for her. He stepped back briefly, into the sunshine, giving her a better view. He looked familiar.
"Jed? It's me, Katon. Katon Jedry."
"Shit!" she whispered. What was he doing here? Lucas must have sent him. What time was it? No, it didn't matter. He'd already seen the shadow she'd made by looking out the peephole. There was no way she could make him think she wasn't there. "Shit!' she swore again.
Her language would have been a surprise for Lucas, if he had been there to hear it. Or to Katon, for that matter, which was one reason she made sure to keep her voice down. Mormons don't swear. At least the good ones don't. And as Jed she'd often reminded them to watch their language. It was a source of pride to her that she could control her tongue. But somewhere on the journey from being male to being female, and realizing that she wouldn't be allowed to be a Mormon much longer - at least not one in good standing - an occasional cuss word had just started to feel comfortable. At least in the privacy of her own room.
She glanced around. What could she do? Coming out to Katon Jedry hadn't been on her list of things to do that day. Getting dressed wouldn't solve the problem. All she had with her were skirts. She'd purposely left all her boy clothes behind after donating them to charity, just to make her commitment to living as a woman that much more binding.
The sheets on the bed caught her eye, and gave her a plan. "Just a minute," she called out. Katon stepped back and waited.
Jenna stepped over to the bed and grabbed the sheet and the thin blanket she'd slept beneath, and wrapped both tightly around her, making sure they covered her breasts without giving any indication she had them. There was nothing she could do about her hair at the moment. She'd taken off her makeup from the night before, so there was nothing else to give her away. Except for her fingernails. And her toenails. "Shit!" she swore again. "Dammit, he's gonna figure it out."
She briefly considered making him wait while she quickly removed all the polish, but it had taken her an entire episode of Jeopardy! to get it looking the way it did - which was, in her opinion, spectacular, and she wasn't fond of the idea of having to do it again. Plus it really wouldn't be polite to have him wait that long. Perhaps if she used the sheet and blanket to cover her feet, and kept her hands mostly hidden. Yeah, that might work.
Finally deciding there was nothing else she could do, she pulled the chain from the latch and twisted the knob, opening the door. As the door swung open, she skillfully stepped back, taking a seat on the bed where she could avoid having Katon see too much of her.
"Jed?" he asked, entering slowly.
"Yeah. Come in. Close the door."
He was cute. Cuter than she remembered. Cherubic was the best way to describe him. He reminded her of a cousin she had. A little heavy. Warm, innocent smile, short blond hair, blue eyes, clean shaven. She knew she would need to watch her step around him. What had Lucas said? That he was a sex addict? And already she felt herself physically attracted to him. No, she needed to be extra careful around him, or something was going to happen.
"Hey dude! Great to see you, man." said Katon, closing the door and sticking out his hand for a handshake.
For a half-second, Jenna's instincts nearly took over and she was about to pull her hand out and shake Katon's hand. Even though a hug seemed more appropriate. She caught herself just in time. "I can't," she said. "I've been coughing all morning. I might spread it." She added a quick "faker cough" for effect.
Katon's eyes narrowed as he stepped backward to sit on the desk. "Yeah, that's too bad. Hey, you okay? Lucas told me you might need a place to stay or something. What are you doing here? I thought you was back living in Utah now."
"Yeah, I'm fine." She shied away slightly, wary of letting him get too close. Not for fear of the sex, but for fear of revealing her secret. "When did you talk to Lucas?"
"Just this morning. He called like at five-thirty. He knows I sometimes get an early start. Said he saw you last night and told me where you was staying, and that you might need a place to stay and asked me to come over and check on you."
"Lucas called you?" she asked, surprised.
"Yeah, so do you? I'd love to stay and chat all day, but I got a crew waiting for me, or else I would. You still playing the drums?"
"Yeah, I brought my electric drum set with me. I'm not playing with a band or anything, though."
"Yeah, me neither. Too busy doing other stuff." He grinned, giving her the impression that other stuff meant sex. "It'd be cool if we could get everyone back together again."
"Yeah, that would be," she said, remembering to cough again.
Katon reached into his wallet and removed a key from it. "Well, tell you what. Here's an extra key to my apartment. If you want it, it's yours. It's just a room with a foldout bed I hardly ever use. It's not as big as this, but..." He paused and looked around briefly as if a rat or a giant cockroach might suddenly appear to help make his point. "... It's a little newer. You won't have to worry about bugs or rats or anything like that. Plus I won't charge you nothing. Unless you decide to make it permanent. Even then..."
It was a generous offer. Jenna was tempted. She had money, but it had to last her, so she also needed to be frugal. Her only other option was to stay with her aunt and uncle. There was no guarantee that would work out, either. It meant first coming out to them and telling them all about her decision to change gender. That would lead to having to tell her parents. Uncle J was her grandmother's baby brother and Aunt Nan, of course, was his wife. For all she knew, once they learned what she'd done, they might disown her anyway. Or at least tell her she wasn't welcome to live with them.
Katon still didn't know, unless Lucas had told him. But the way he was acting, she guessed he didn't know. At least he wasn't acting much like he knew. Telling him wouldn't be nearly as hard as telling Uncle J and Aunt Nan. It would be good practice. Plus it would give her a little more time to prepare for that big visit to her aunt and uncle's house. She sighed. Yeah, it was a good idea. Thanks, Lucas. And thanks, Katon. She really did have good friends. Maybe she hadn't quite lost everything.
"I gotta get going," said Katon. "But you're welcome to move in anytime you want. I usually get home around four or five. If you want we can go someplace for dinner."
Jenna nodded toward the desk. "Just leave it over there. I have to pack all my stuff up first. It'll take me a couple hours before I get there."
Katon got up to leave. "Well, man, it's great to see you again. I'll let Kelly know you're here, too. There's some stuff in the drawers in there, but just throw it out and take whatever space you want in the closet. Okay, I gotta get going. I'm already going to be late. See you this afternoon then."
As he was leaving, Jenna stood, clutching the sheet and blanket around her and said, "Thanks for letting me stay there, Katon. It's a big help."
"Sure, no problem. See ya Jed." And he was off.
* * * * *
Dinner with Katon out of the apartment was a bad idea, she guessed. He was going to have a ton of questions, the first of which was going to be, “What? You’re a girl now?” and it would be easier to answer those questions in the privacy of Katon's apartment.
She guessed he rarely ate a real home-cooked meal. What single adult male did? Plus the opportunity to show off her domestic skills sounded fun. Jed's mother had taught him how to cook, saying it was a valuable skill, one that would come in handy as a missionary. And it had. While other missionaries had struggled when it came to cooking their own meals, Elder King had felt, if not completely comfortable, at least comfortable enough that it didn't cause him to worry. He just figured out a menu, looked through a cookbook if he needed, and figured out what he needed to buy and how to make it. It wasn't that hard.
The trick was being able to put spaghetti and meatballs on the table just as Katon walked in the door. "Mmmm, that smells good. What is it?" he asked.
"Just spaghetti and meatballs," she said. "I thought that might be more fun than going out."
Katon stopped dead in his tracks. "Who the hell are you?" he asked, staring at the young woman who looked very much like same person he'd seen at the motel earlier that day, but was obviously someone else, because this someone else was wearing a skirt and had breasts, even though they were a little on the small side, and was obviously female.
Jenna blushed. "Surprise?"
For a few seconds, Katon was literally speechless. He staggered to a chair and literally fell into it. He kept staring at Jenna, and finally stammered, "Surprise doesn't even come close. Are you...?"
Jenna blushed some more. "It just...I just felt like... It was something I had to do."
"That's why you wouldn't even shake my hand this morning, isn't it? Okay, turn around. I need to get the whole effect."
Jenna slowly turned, realizing that an old friend from high school was checking her out. An old friend whose cock she had sucked on more than one occasion as a male. She wondered what he was thinking now.
She finished her slow turn and faced him once again. "Do I look okay?"
"Okay?" Katon gulped. "You're probably hotter as a girl than you were as a guy. And you were pretty hot for a guy. So when did all this happen?"
"It's been happening for about a year now, I guess. That's when I quit cutting my hair. I started doing hormones last October."
"Do you parents know?"
Jenna shook her head. "No. Just you and Lucas so far. You're the only ones."
"What do you think they'll say?"
"I don't know." It was a conversation she'd practiced more than once. In her fantasies it sometimes went well, with everyone hugging one another and expressing their love for each other. At other times, the conversation was nothing short of a qualified disaster, one that was very nearly the ruin of her young life.
It was those second times that made her question why she did it. Life would be so much easier, she thought, if she just stayed the gender everyone expected her to be. It was her response to those questions that told her she'd made the right choice. Making an easy choice wasn't the issue. Being true to herself was the thing that mattered. And inside, she just didn't feel right pretending to be a man.
Katon leered a lot. He was always trying to sneak a peek down Jenna's blouses and tops. He encouraged her to go topless, or even naked, an invitation she never took advantage of. Giving Katon the idea that she was interested would only cause problems down the road.
Still, he was incredibly hard to resist. I mentioned his cherubic looks. He was smart. Not yet thirty years old, and he was already the foreman of a landscaping crew. Okay, maybe that wasn't so impressive, but it was a large crew, and most of the workers spoke little or no English. Katon was chosen to be the foreman because he spoke Spanish. A full-time management position was quite probable. He was also a ton of fun to be around. He could be slightly unmotivated at times, but everybody enjoyed his company.
And then there was the sex. Despite Jenna's reluctance to let Katon see her nude, Katon had no qualms at all about letting her see him nude. She insisted that he wear clothes at the dinner table and in the common areas of the apartment. But whenever he took a shower, he made sure she got a glimpse as he walked across the hall from the bathroom to his bedroom. More often than not, he was sporting an impressive erection as he did so.
It was hard to resist. Jenna remembered that cock from high school. Long and slender. She would watch him without comment and expressionless until he was out of sight. Then she would lick her lips and close her eyes and wonder why it was again that she was choosing to remain celibate.
Oh, right! Lucas. "Some things are just between you and me." That was Jed's promise to Lucas in high school. It was Jenna's promise to Lucas now. That promise had allowed blow jobs, which is why she'd had Katon's cock in her mouth on several occasions. But she knew with Katon's sex drive and hers, that if she allowed anything close to that now, there would be no way to ever keep that promise to Lucas.
The question then was why she felt she needed to keep a promise, when Lucas had already rejected her. In the week since they'd met at Lou & Jo's, he hadn't so much as called her to talk. She had no reason to believe he felt the need to honor their high school promise. Perhaps he'd broken it just as soon as Jed went back to Utah. She didn't know, and didn't care to find out.
What did matter was that, until she knew for sure that Lucas didn't want her, she was determined to keep that pledge. It might not matter to him, but it mattered to her. It was her way of remaining true. To something. God knew there were so many things in her life that she'd failed to live up to. She had to have at least one thing that mattered. No matter how pointless it might sometimes seem to be.
So she resisted Katon. She learned to lock doors. Katon was fond of entering the bathroom when she was showering, claiming an emergency. She knew he would sneak into her bed if she let him. He'd even tried it once, the first night she'd been there. After that she started locking her door.
Letting him look down her blouses and tops was one of the few consolations she would allow. She didn't really let him as much as she pretended not to notice when he was doing it. It seemed harmless enough. She knew he often masturbated after she let him get a good look. It was easier than making a fuss about it. She let him look, he'd go masturbate, and everything would be fine again. At least till the sexual tension built up again. Which seemed to take about an hour with Katon.
Her biggest worry with her new roommate was the large amount of cash she was obligated to hold onto. It was her life savings. She couldn't put it into a bank. Not yet. She might be taking on the appearance of Jenna Kaye, a female, but all of her identification was for Jedidiah King, a male. She didn't know what to do about that. She didn't want to open a bank account as Jedidiah, and then end up having problems getting her money back out when the bank thought of her as Jenna. She believed she could leave Jedidiah behind when she came east, but it turned out it wasn't as easy as she hoped.
So she hid the money in the safest place she could think of - her bra and panty drawer. No one, not even Katon, would dare to disturb that.
But one day she came home and found something amiss. Someone had definitely been in her underwear drawer. A girl just knows. Some of her favorite panties were missing. She checked for the cash, trying to remember just how much should be there. She counted it. Twice. It was all there, as best she could recall.
Later that night, at dinner, she asked Katon if he'd by chance happened to be in her underwear drawer.
Katon blushed beet red. Busted. Jenna felt her anger slowly rising to the surface. Couldn't she trust him? Katon, sensing her anger about to explode, got up and hurried to his bedroom. When he came back he was holding the panties she had lost. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'll wash them and put them back."
"No, just stay out of my drawer," she warned. "What were you doing with my panties?"
Katon blushed some more. "Jerking off," he admitted.
"Jerking...? You use my panties? To jerk off?"
Katon smiled shyly. "Yes. Man, Jenna, look at you. You're like the sexiest girl I ever met, and you won't even let me look at you. And here I am living with you. I just get so horny, I have to do something. So... I borrowed some of your panties and think about fucking you while I jerk off."
Jenna tried not to smile. She was actually flattered, in a way. And he was just too cute and innocent. "Did you take anything else of mine?" she asked, pretending to still be mad.
Katon grinned. "No, but you have a wad of cash in there big enough to choke a horse. You really ought to put in the bank or something. Is that what you're talking about?"
Did I mention Katon was smart? He showed Jenna how she could set up a bank account as Jenna Kaye, telling the bank that she was planning to do business under that name, even though all of her identification documents were going to be under the name of Jedidiah King. And as easy as that, her new life began to take root.
* * * * *
One night, shortly after she moved in, Jenna had a dream. You know how dreams go. Not everything makes sense, and what does make sense doesn't necessarily mean anything. That's not what I mean, though. What I mean is, just because it's your dream doesn't mean you have to feel responsible for your actions in it. Know what I mean?
Well then, let me get more specific.
Jenna dreamed she was having sex.
Ah, sex. So many of us are motivated by it. And when you're having it regularly, you might even start taking it for granted. Until you stop having it regularly. And then it starts to become an obsession. If you're Katon Jedry, it can even become an addiction of sorts. For Jenna Kaye, yeah, it was probably still in the realm of being an obsession.
I mean, it's not like she kept a running score card or anything for when she last had sex, but it had definitely been a while. Unless you count masturbation. Which is probably what gets most sex-obsessed people through those times when they're not having the other kind of sex, but which don't seem to qualify as true sex if you're keeping a running score card.
In fact, unless you counted the near-miss with Lucas where he had sucked on her breasts at the motel for just long enough to get her aroused, but not long enough to help her climax, she hadn't had sex since arriving in Tennessee. Living with Katon, where sex was a constant topic of conversation, was taking its toll on her. In short, she was getting horny.
So, back to that dream. It was vivid. Erotic. Sensuous. In fact, you could almost write a whole story around it, if you were so inclined to write stories about your sex dreams. (Hey, wait! I resemble that remark!)
In Jenna's dream, she was having sex with Lucas Mysinger. They were both completely naked and she had her legs spread while he thrust his cock deep into her waiting vagina. Except in her dream, she also had a penis, and her penis was semi-stiff, bouncing obscenely up and down with each of Lucas's thrusts. Lucas seemed to be enjoying the sight of her naughty little penis and kept his eyes glued there, while she had her eyes on Lucas's chest, which had miraculously taken on a much more massive, muscled appearance than she remembered him having, as well as a great deal more chest hair. The way he was watching her penis aroused her even more, so she felt her erection growing bigger and bigger with each thrust.
No, it wasn't the kind of dream where it kept getting bigger and bigger until it was so big that something bizarre happened. It just got bigger, and she could feel it growing.
Oh, and Lucas's suddenly more masculine looking chest greatly aroused her. In her dream she kept reaching up, caressing his impressive pectorals and running her fingers through the thick, dark hair.
Meanwhile, as they say, she was very aware of another penis entering her from beneath. This one was long and skinny, and she knew it belonged to Katon. "No, Katon," she whispered, to the man beneath her. "I can't do that. Lucas might find out."
So Jenna's dream was that she was having sex with both Lucas and Katon at the same time, and that she was trying desperately to make sure Lucas didn't notice what Katon was doing. In her dream, despite her constant pleas to Katon to stop what he was doing, she somehow managed to make Lucas believe she was simply moaning for him to keep going. It was a tricky balancing act, even for a sex dream, and she knew she wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer. The effect was slowly increasing terror that finally woke her up.
For a moment she lay there, considering the dream. It had been just a dream after all. That was comforting. But what was its hidden meaning? Okay, probably the only hidden meaning was that she was horny as hell, and wanted Lucas to come back, and meanwhile was trying to keep from being sexually attracted to Katon.
"What am I doing?" she asked as she climbed out of bed as if by some unseen force. "This is insane."
Wearing a modest black chemise with blue lace trim and matching panties underneath, she slipped across the hall to Katon's bedroom door. "Katon? Are you asleep?" she asked, knocking softly. She honestly didn't know if she was about to ask him to have sex with her, or if she was there for some other reason. Maybe she was sleep walking. Maybe she was still dreaming. She could have pinched herself to make sure, but she knew what the answer was. She was wide awake.
And out of control, unable to stop herself.
"Katon?" she repeated when she heard him stir.
"Are you awake?"
She could almost hear his slowly hardening cock moving the sheets aside in response to what he could only imagine was about to be a middle of the night sex encounter. That's when she figured out why she was there. "I need to talk to you."
"Okay." Did she hear the sheets slump slightly? What was it about guys and the T-word? Couldn't they figure out that girls needed to talk once in a while?
She stepped toward the bed. "Uh, is it okay if I get in? I'm scared."
Scared? Yeah, that was as good a description as any. Uneasy. Afraid she'd screwed up her life. Uncertain what she should do about it. Scared was a good one-word summary.
"Okay." The sheets rising hopefully.
She slid in beside him. So warm. God, she'd missed that feeling of being close to another person. Was he naked? Oh, right, of course he was. "Um, would you mind putting some clothes on? That's not why I'm here."
Instant deflation. "Sure, just a second."
After putting on some boxers, he slipped back in beside her. "Why are you here?"
She turned onto her side, her back to him. "I'm scared. I just need someone to hold me for a little while. Is that okay?"
Katon hesitated, but slipped his arm over her in a protective manner. "Okay, sure. What's wrong?"
She pressed back against him, knowing it would probably make him grow hard again, but confident now that it wasn't going to lead to anything more than that. "I had a bad dream."
"Oh. What was it about?"
"It's not important. It just scared me."
The room was quiet for a few minutes, neither of them talking. Katon was unsure what exactly was going on. He'd been attracted to Jed when they were both boys in high school, and he was even more attracted to him now as Jenna. He'd been imagining what it would be like to have her in bed with him ever since he'd first got a glimpse of her perky little breasts. Hell, even before that. From the moment Lucas had told him that Jed was in Mayville and might need a place to stay, Katon had been having thoughts of a sexual nature.
But she'd already said that wasn’t why she was there. He wasn't exactly used to the role of being a protector. A girl in your bed was supposed to mean sex. Not... whatever this was. He wasn't even sure if he was doing it right. He guessed if she fell asleep, that would mean he'd done it right.
Jenna was quiet for a different reason. She was forming her thoughts. Waiting for him to be fully aware that she wasn't there for sex. Wanting to make sure she had his attention.
Finally she spoke, "Katon?"
"Yeah?" She could tell he hadn't been asleep.
"I think I really screwed up with Lucas." Pause. "He was at my motel the night before you came over." She knew that wasn't really news to him, so she didn't wait for a reply. She did hesitate, however, as she considered how much detail she should give him about what they'd done. Given how easily aroused Katon was, and the way she was pressed against him at that moment, she decided to skip over as much of the sex parts as possible.
"It seemed like everything was going fine, and I thought we were going to even get back together. And then suddenly he said, 'Maybe some other time,' and left. I don't know what happened. Have you heard anything?"
It was Katon's turn to hesitate. The only thing he'd heard from Lucas had been that Jed was in town and might need a place to stay. Since then he'd spoken once with Lucas, but only to let him know that Jenna had moved in to his spare bedroom. "Okay, great. Thanks a lot, Katon. Let me know if she needs anything else," he'd said, his tone suggesting that there was nothing else to say on the subject.
On the other hand, getting mixed up in the middle of a lovers' quarrel wasn't a good idea either. "No, not really," he said, finally.
"And I screwed up with my family, too. They don't know anything about me deciding to be a girl." The words were starting to pour out. "My parents are in Mongolia, on a mission. It's going to kill them to find out. I don't even know how to let them know. I was going to stay with my aunt and uncle, but now I'm afraid to tell them. Katon, I'm going to get excommunicated, you know."
Katon knew a little about the LDS church and how important it had been to Jed. "I'll still be your friend," he offered.
Despite not knowing what to do, Katon's response was perfect. It was just what Jenna needed to hear - that as bad as things looked there was still at least one person she could count on. "Thank you," she whispered. And then she pulled his hand up to her mouth and kissed it. He deserved at least that much from her.
"I've never been excommunicated before," she said.
She laughed. "You're not even a Mormon."
It felt good to hear her laugh. He sensed he might be handling this right after all. "Oh, right. I keep forgetting."
In Katon's defense, it was the kind of thing you might actually forget. His mother was a member, and had been for some fifteen years. For nearly as long as he could remember. And during that time, for a lot of that time, Katon had been dragged to church with her. He knew as much about the church as any non-member could know, and probably more than a few of its members. Of course he'd quit attending regularly once he moved to his own apartment. That had been four years ago. But if anyone ever asked what his religious affiliation was, he told them he was a Mormon. He liked the teachings. He just didn't have an urge to confess his sins and to stop being sexually active.
Which was very much the same situation Jenna was in, come to think of it. All her life religion had played a major role in her life, and so had sex. And the two were always, it seemed, at odds with one another. For a time, religion had dominated. During that time Jed went on a mission and tried to do all the things his bishop and mission president had suggested. He'd tried dating, but never really found anyone who made him feel...
Yeah, that was definitely a problem. No one, no one of the female sex at least, made him feel the way he felt about Lucas. He knew he loved Lucas. The same way Paul loved Timothy. As a brother. That's what he told himself. But, deep down, he always sensed it was something different. Something that wasn't supposed to be there. Good Mormons, ones who'd gone on missions, weren't supposed to be gay. They weren't supposed to be attracted to other males. It wasn't supposed to happen that way.
"I quit my job," she continued.
"Test engineer. It was a good job, too."
"Why'd you quit?" he asked softly, more because it seemed like she wanted to keep talking than out of real interest.
She took a moment to answer. It was painful. "Because I didn't want to be that anymore. I wanted to start living as a girl. Full time. I even left all my boy clothes behind. I don't have any boy clothes at all now. Just girl clothes. I thought it would make it easier or something. Or at least harder to go back. I didn't want to go back."
Katon noticed the past tense. "Do you want to go back now?"
She took another moment to think about her answer. "No."
Did I mention Katon was smart? In the middle of the night, he was helping Jenna to see herself, in very much the same way a psychoanalyst like her uncle, J. K. Elkins might do if he'd been treating her as a patient in his office. "Then it sounds like you made the right choice," he said.
Okay, maybe not quite J.K. Elkins, but getting there.
"He doesn't even care if I exist, Katon."
"How do you know that?" he asked. He slowly started reaching for one of her breasts, hoping for a quick feel and a squeeze.
"Katon, promise me something?"
"What?" He was almost there.
"We can't have sex. It'll ruin everything. I'll never get Lucas back if he knows you and I..." her voice trailed off. Katon's hand, caught in mid-grab stopped, hesitated, and then slowly withdrew.
As if his retreating hand was an answer, Jenna continued. "I want him back, Katon. That's why I'm here. I left everything behind. Everything! Just because I thought I could come here and Lucas would take me back. And then... he left. And I don't know if he's ever coming back."
Her voice cracked and she started sobbing. Katon instinctively patted her shoulder, and felt himself being sucked into the middle of whatever was going on, or not going on, between her and Lucas. Right where a friend had no business being. No, it was right where a friend would be. That's what made it so frustrating. As a friend, to Lucas and now Jenna, and formerly of Jed, he knew what he needed to do. It didn't mean he wouldn't have rather been doing something else. Like getting her out of her clothes for a good fuck. Tranny pussy was just as good as real pussy if you asked him. Maybe better. And those tits! Maybe if he could just get one look at them, one quick feel, he might be able to do it.
But that's not what a friend would do.
Her sobs soon disappeared, and she rolled onto her back to look at Katon in the darkness. "Promise?"
Katon hated himself. "Yes."
"Even if I ask you?"
"What?" he protested. "If you ask, then the deal's off."
"No, because you made a promise."
"Yeah, but not if you're breaking it first."
She was quiet for a moment, gazing at him before she spoke. "Katon, you're cute. You're sexy. I'm... I'm really, really attracted to you. Okay?"
His erection started climbing. He felt it pressing against her thigh. Her bare thigh. So smooth. Just one touch. That's all he wanted.
"That's why you have to promise me."
He groaned inside as his loyalty was tested again. Is this what it took to be a friend? "Okay, I promise."
"No matter what?"
"No matter what."
"If... If I asked you to kiss me right now? Would you?"
He stared. It sounded like one of those trick questions. The kind Jed had been good at asking. "Do you want me to?"
"I want you to, but I want it to just be a kiss because I trust you. Not because we're going to have sex."
He kissed her softly. "How was that?"
She took a deep breath. "It just made me horny."
"You better go sleep in your own bed," he warned.
She took a moment. What she really wanted was to reach down and grab his dick and start playing with it. But she'd made him promise. "Yeah, I think you're right,” she said, and rolled out of bed.
Pausing at the doorway, she said, "Katon, will you help me, though?
"Help you what, Hon?"
"Help me get Lucas back?"
"I'm already working on it," he assured.
* * * * *
"Okay, just one question," said Katon at breakfast the next morning.
"What's that?" asked Jenna.
He stared at her gravely. "I'm just going to ask, and you can tell me it's none of my business, and I promise I won't ever ask again."
"I just got to know. Okay? What does it feel like to have tits?"
Jenna stared at him, trying to look offended, or disgusted, or annoyed, or astonished by his question. But, honestly, his cherubic face was so disarming and innocent, the best she could manage was a mildly annoyed expression. After a moment's thought, she said, "Katon, I'll tell you. It's kind of like having two little peckers on your chest, one on each side. And they poke out, so everyone can see them and know you have them, so it's like they're always on display. It's almost like you're walking around half-naked all the time. And so you're walking around feeling horny all the time."
When she appeared to have finished with her explanation, Katon stared at her, not sure if she was joking or serious. She looked serious. She wasn't grinning as if she was teasing him. But maybe she was.
If she was telling the truth, Katon realized, having tits was really a pretty good thing. It almost sounded like something he might want to try himself some day. Provided he could go back to being himself whenever he wanted. He didn't think he'd like to do what Jed had done and make it a permanent condition.
For Jenna's part, she was serious. That's exactly what it felt like. She knew Katon had an exhibitionist streak in him and so did she. That's one reason she often preferred not to wear a bra under her thin cotton t-shirts - just for the shock value of feeling like she was putting her feminized body on public display and to see people's reactions. She liked the attention. Mostly from guys. Guys' reactions were almost always positive. Women tended to react more negatively, and sometimes she could almost sense their thoughts: Slut! Whore! Bitch!
It didn't matter. Pleasing women wasn't a major priority in her life. Men were. And if giving them a glimpse of her protruding nipples covered by a thin layer of cotton was enough to arouse them, then it was the least she could do for them. In a way, she thought, it was almost her duty to let them see her nipples that way.
Within reason, of course. She had to be careful. In the wrong place at the wrong time and with the wrong person, too much of a reaction could be costly. Like that time at Jo & Lou's when she had met Lucas. She knew those guys in the bar might get the wrong message from it, but she decided to take a chance because she definitely wanted to get Lucas's reaction.
Of course, look how well that had worked out.
When she showed no signs of being anything but completely serious, Katon finally gulped and said, "Okay, thanks. Now I know."