by Stephanie Silver


Chapter 6 - Jed

Jed's love life after Lucas was more interesting than Lucas's love life after Jed. Maybe. I'll let you be the judge.

There wasn't as much sex, that's for sure. Being a prospective missionary for a couple years required Jed to do some repenting - which meant no sex. Being a missionary obviously meant no sex. And being a returned missionary after that also meant no sex.

Well, sorta.

Returned LDS missionaries are allowed to date, and are even encouraged to do so. Elder Jedidiah King's mission president, during his final interview with him, encouraged him to start dating right away and to find someone to marry. Returned LDS missionaries are encouraged to marry and start families as quickly as possible. There's a quote often attributed to Brigham Young - although I've never been able to verify its veracity - that any single male over the age of 25 was a "menace to society."

So, being a returned LDS missionary who hasn't yet gotten married meant no sex.

Unless one broke a few rules. Funny thing about rules. Once you break one, it gets easier to break another. And another. And pretty soon you're in an East Tennessee motel room looking in the mirror and trying to remember how it was that you ended up transgendered.

Jed tried to do it the right way. The right way meaning the way that most everyone else in mostly-Mormon Provo, Utah considered to be the right way. The way that Jed's parents had taught him was the right way. The way they taught him at church that God wanted him to live. The way that would have had him remain happily celibate for a few years until he met the right girl and then, after a suitable courtship period of at least four or five weeks, to settle down and begin the process of raising a family.

Trouble was...

There's always trouble, isn't there?

Trouble was, that wasn't what Jed wanted. And the more he felt himself being squeezed, and manipulated, and prodded, and encouraged to do the right thing, the more he felt like he really just wanted to do something else. But, like I say, you don't just go out and start breaking all the rules all at once. It takes a while. You have to start off slow. Break a few little rules and work your way up to the bigger ones.

Jed hadn't yet reached his 25th birthday when his bishop called him in, expressing concern that he wasn't trying hard enough to get married. He didn't go so far as to call him a menace to society, but Brigham Young might have. By that time Jed was a college graduate with a decent job, living on his own in Salt Lake City. Inspired by the bishop's words, Jed resolved to make marriage his highest priority.

As if in answer to his prayers, or at least in answer to his resolve, he met Shaina. Shaina Culbert. Shaina was attractive. Easily the most attractive woman Jed had ever dated. And what made her even more attractive was that she was attracted to him. Or at least seemed to be. She was shorter than him by a couple of inches, with soft brown eyes and long, light brown hair that she usually wore in a French braid. When he allowed himself to think about her soft pillowy breasts, which was often, and which was possibly the first of those rules he was about to break, he couldn't help but feel a familiar tingle in his nether regions.

It was the same feeling, he realized, that he'd often had during high school, whenever he knew he and Lucas were about to have sex. No, wait! He would stop, shaking his head as if to clear the image of Lucas from his mind. It wasn't like that at all. It couldn't be. At least it wasn't supposed to be at all like that. This was pure, wholesome, heterosexual sexual attraction. And even though he wasn't actually contemplating losing his virginity - he could still consider himself a heterosexual virgin, after all - heterosexual sex was... Well, other than he wasn't supposed to think about it until after he was married, he was supposed to think about it eventually, so even if he got started a little early with the thinking part, that wasn't as bad as thinking about having homosexual sex, which was just plain wrong and immoral, no matter which way you looked at it. Or thought about it.

But, gosh, the feelings were awfully similar.

And so sometimes when he'd start thinking about Shaina's soft breasts and sexy round backside, he'd get distracted for a moment and start thinking about Lucas's backside instead.

And then there was Nate. Nate Roberson. Jed knew he wasn't sexually attracted to Nate. No, those muscular biceps and rock-hard pecs and washboard abs didn't do a thing for him. And Nate's habit of always wearing a three-day growth of beard, along with a cowboy hat, didn't arouse him in the least. Watching Nate play basketball at lunchtime without his shirt on wasn't anything to get excited about.

Okay, he had once seen Nate completely naked. It was right after one of those lunchtime basketball sessions, and since it had been hot outside, Nate was in the bathroom toweling off before heading back to work. Jed estimated Nate's dick to be... oh, five inches at least when it was flaccid. And easily as big around as his own dick was when it was fully erect. And sticking out of a soft cloud of dark brown pubic hair, just below that incredibly taut, muscled stomach. And easy-going Nate had simply grinned and said, "Sorry. Didn't expect anyone to be in here right now."

Okay, the grin... Yeah, that was kind of arousing. And... Okay, he couldn't help thinking about Nate's dick once he'd seen it. And, shoot, once he let himself start thinking about Nate's dick, well, it just seemed natural to think about the rest of Nate's magnificent body. But that didn't mean he was attracted to him. It didn't mean he was gay. And when they were discussing impure thoughts at church, they always told him, "You might not be able to keep a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest there." So every once in a while, Jed would get rid of the thoughts he couldn't help having about Nate, or Lucas, and concentrate on Shaina instead.

The worst was when he started thinking about Nate and Shaina at the same time. That brought up thoughts he didn't like admitting he even had. Invariably he would start imagining Shaina on her back, legs spread, while Nate began fucking her. He'd think about Shaina's tits jiggling back and forth in response to Nate's thrusts, and her moans of pleasure as he drove himself deeper and deeper inside her. But what scared him was that whenever he found himself thinking about the two of them together like that, it was always from Shaina's point of view, looking up at Nate as he eased his massive cock inside her, and just glimpsing the tops of her own soft, rounded breasts the way she might see them in that situation.

Jed hated that he always felt a wave of embarrassment after that whenever he noticed Nate looking at him. Was it possible that Nate knew what he was thinking?

But Jed wasn't sexually attracted to Nate. And, trouble was, he wasn't sexually attracted to Shaina, either. And it was for the same reasons.

Dates with Shaina were awkward. They talked, but... something was missing. On the surface it seemed they had much in common, but it never seemed to get much beyond a superficial relationship. Jed knew Shaina wanted to have sex. He wasn't sure how he knew that. Maybe it was the way conversations just seemed to dwindle, as if there was really only one thing they wanted to talk about. Maybe it was her shy glances. Not at his crotch, of course, but other places, as if she didn't want to get caught looking at that. Or something. Or maybe it was the way she might linger in a dark, private spot, as if hoping he would get the message and take advantage.

He wanted to take advantage. But something always stopped him. Two somethings. One, returned missionaries didn't take advantage of young ladies. No matter how attractive they were. But he was already bending that rule by thinking, often, of what it might be like with at least one attractive young lady. Which is what brought up something number two. Thinking about what it might be like with Shaina always left him with an uncomfortable, awkward feeling. If they ever went that far, if he ever let things go that far, there'd be more of that awkward conversation stuff to deal with. He'd have to start acting interested in her.

And he knew it would be an act, because, to be totally honest, he wasn't that interested in her. He liked her, but mostly he just wanted to have sex with her. From a purely physical standpoint, he found her very desirable, but as a person with whom he would be expected to have an emotional relationship, there wasn't much of an attraction.

If Jed thought about it, that was exactly the same reason he wasn't attracted to Nate. From a purely physical standpoint, Nate was very attractive. But as a person, he found Nate vacuous and empty. Trying to build a sexual relationship on top of that seemed like an exercise in futility.


Trouble is, there's always a but.

But, and this is one of those big buts - which should never, ever be confused with a big butt - although in this particular case it might have the same effect on where this story is going - no offense to those of you who were blessed with a little extra in that area, or who find big butts attractive - I mean, sheesh, if anyone's got stones they're not supposed to be throwing 'cause they live in glass houses, we trannies are probably at the top of the list. When I was a little boy - I grew up as a little boy and not as a little girl after all - my dad had a calendar with this rough looking, cigar smoking, beer drinking character and a caption that said, "People who live in glass houses shouldn't." "Shouldn't what?" I asked my dad. "Just that," he said. "They just plain shouldn't."

Sorry for the interruption, I'll now get back to my story.

But - and now that I've had a chance to put the size of this particular but into perspective, I'm going to downgrade it from a big but to a but of medium to mild consequence, and then get on with the story because I seem to be stuck on a literary sand bar here with the importance of this particular story juncture. And the stuckitier I make it, the worse it gets 'cause now you're thinking this medium to mild but is a lot more important than it is, but if I tell you it isn't, then you might start thinking its importance is more like medium to major, and then I start losing all my credibility as a writer, so I really wish I had just gotten on with the story. But I didn't, so let's just continue as if those last few paragraphs weren't even in there. Okay?

Exercise in futility or not, Jed wanted to do "it" with Shaina, despite "it" being a major breaking of the rules, and Shaina wanted to do "it" with Jed, and so one of those times in one of those dark, private spots, when Shaina lingered a moment longer than was necessary, Jed finally took advantage.

Let me just quickly put Jed's indiscretion into perspective. Having broken that no sex rule with Lucas, and Katon, and... - the list goes on - and then repenting of it, Jed decided he'd just hurry and get it out of his system with Shaina, and then repent, and get back to his regular life. Repenting for anything he did with Shaina, a female, was going to be child's play compared to the things he'd done in Mayville with Lucas and Katon. Unmarried heterosexual sex was wrong, but since eventually sex with a woman was supposed to be okay, it would probably only get him a comparative slap on the wrist. Homosexual sex would get him excommunicated.

Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma'am.

Yeah, I know. You want details. They're coming. Just let me change gears for a minute.

* * * * *

The letters on the left side of the Help Wanted sign that sat in the front window of Burke's Filling Station were still vibrant orange on a black background, while the letters on the right were dull and faded from continued exposure to the sun. For all Jenna knew, it was the same sign that had been there twelve years earlier when Jed had asked the station's owner, Robert Burke, about a possible job opening. On second thought, after looking around the small anteroom that served as both cashier's office and product display area and seeing that little else had changed from the way she remembered it from high school, there was no doubt it was the same sign. "Hello? Anyone home?" she called when the bell above the door failed to attract anyone's attention.

Robert Burke, Bob, hadn't changed much either. His hair was probably a little grayer, and his stomach probably protruded above his belt a little further, but otherwise he looked exactly the same. "Yeah, can I help you with something?" he asked, eyeing Jenna's breasts briefly before letting his gaze drop down to take in the rest of her, and then returning it to fix on her chest.

"I was wondering about the Help Wanted sign," she said, pointing toward the window. "Are you still looking for help?"

He looked up briefly, as if verifying there was a head attached to the body he was evaluating. For a moment she wondered if he would recognize her, but just as quickly the moment passed and he returned his eyes to her breasts. "Could be," he said. "Depends who's asking."

"I'm Jenna Kaye," she said, resisting the mission-developed urge to shake his hand. She paused and then added, "I need a job."

When Jedidiah King was in high school, Burke had hired him to be his cashier, asking him to work three evenings a week, from five o'clock until the station closed at nine. He'd had some problems with his previous assistant stealing money from him, and Jed, a Mormon, came with the character reference of Jed's respected uncle, J. Kelton Elkins. It was the perfect high school job. The hours were light, so they wouldn't interfere with school work. When he wasn't cashiering, Jed's job was to sweep floors, do some minor clean up, turn off the pumps at the end of the day and lock the doors. The biggest reason for requiring an assistant at all was simply to give Burke more time for his personal life. Owning and operating a service station was a full time job with very little time off.

The perfect high school job had lasted just two weeks before Jed decided he couldn't handle the hours. As few as they were, they were already interfering with his social life. And as any teenager can tell you, when you're in high school, social life is everything. Burke had asked him to reconsider when he'd handed back his key. "I'll teach you to fix flats," he promised, "So you won't be so bored." But being bored wasn't the problem, and fixing flats didn't sound that exciting, so Jed's next job wasn't until after he had graduated from high school and moved back to Utah.

Looking past Jenna to the car parked next to the pump, he asked, "That your Mustang?"

Jenna turned to see where he was looking. Business at Burke's was light - she sometimes wondered how he even stayed in business - and the possibility that he was talking about some other Mustang was remote, but you never knew. "Yeah. It's a 2003. Four-point-six liter V8. Want to take it for a drive?"

Burke turned back and gave her a lopsided grin. From posters and calendars she'd seen in the office/bedroom Burke had in the back, she knew the man had two major interests - fast cars and loose women. From the moment he'd fixed his eyes on her breasts, she knew that was the standard by which she was being evaluated for the job she was asking about. A couple of quick, almost imperceptible glances at Burke's crotch, followed by a subtle licking of her lips, she figured, ought to just about guarantee she met his qualifications. Offering to let him take her car for a drive simply made the deal more attractive. There was one more thing she could do that would all but guarantee her a job, but she was waiting for the right time to bring it up.

She had money. Katon had seen the big wad of cash she stashed in her underwear drawer. That was safely in the bank now, but that was all the money she had and she knew it wouldn't last forever. She was hesitant about getting a regular job though. A real job would want her real name, and her real social security number, and for now, her real name was still Jedidiah King. Jenna Kaye was an adopted name, one more suitable for living life as female. From past experience, she knew that Bob Burke would be open to a cash-only arrangement if she could convince him it was for "legitimate" reasons.

As they walked out to the car, she reached into her purse and handed him the keys. "Really? You don't mind?" he asked, looking like he'd just gotten a birthday present.

"No, it's fine. Think you can keep it under eighty?" she asked.

He laughed. "I'll try."

He did keep it under a hundred, though. If it hadn't been for a turn in the road, he might have made it. It was the fastest the red convertible had ever gone; Jed and Jenna were both sticklers for obeying speed limits. When it seemed safe to assume he'd gotten speed out of his system for the moment and was content to take a slow meandering route back to the station, she asked, "Mind if I take my top off?"

The double meaning was intentional, and Burke gave her a quick look to make sure he hadn't misunderstood. "No, go right ahead," he offered, still hoping she'd meant a different top.

For several minutes they just drove, letting Jenna enjoy the wind in her hair from the passenger seat. "It feels weird sitting on this side for a change," she said.

"Yeah, I guess it would," said Burke, eyeing her body appreciatively. She could almost imagine his dick hardening in the driver's seat.

"So, can I have that job?" she asked at length.

Burke hesitated. He already knew the answer. The question was how much to pay her. It wouldn't help to insult her by not offering enough, but at the same time business was still business. And business wasn't leaving a lot for hiring an assistant.

Jenna decided it was time to play her last card. "Do you remember my brother, Jedidiah King? He used to work for you?"

"Jedidiah?" Burke thought for a moment. "Mormon kid? About..." He glanced at Jenna and grinned. "I thought you looked familiar. He never mentioned having a sister, though. Don't recall his uncle mentioning one either." He looked at her again, a note of suspicion covering his face.

She knew it was just a matter of time before Burke would have remembered Jedidiah anyway. Bringing it up first seemed like the best way to avoid an unpleasant revelation. The best defense is a good offense. "We're twins," she said. "He's a little taller. And then there's the obvious differences." She thrust her chest forward slightly as if to emphasize the most noticeable one. "But otherwise, we look a lot alike."

Burke took advantage of the moment to ogle her chest again. He managed not to whistle softly before saying, "Guess you got the looks, though."

Jenna grinned, knowing she had the job. Now she just had to convince him to start paying her in cash. That turned out to be easier than expected. Burke had been married three times, divorced twice. So when Jenna confided that she was in the middle of a very messy divorce, he said he understood. If he didn't mind, she asked, she'd like to be paid in cash. "I don't want the asshole tracking me down," she said.

"I understand that," said Burke, although it was likely that in each of his two divorces he himself was the asshole in question.

Two weeks later Jenna was still handling the hours with no problem. Burke had her working three nights a week plus a full day on the weekend. He paid her ten dollars an hour - $200 in cash every week. Like Jed before her, she swept floors and locked up at night. Burke hadn't offered to start her fixing flats and she was pretty sure she would avoid ever learning. It seemed like a sure way to break a nail. Boredom wasn't a problem; in her spare time she brought along books and read them. Romance novels weren't just entertaining; they offered a recent convert to womanhood valuable insights into how she ought to behave in various social situations. The fact that most of those situations were about how to behave when the man you loved was tearing open the bodice of your dress was of secondary importance.

* * * * *

Being horny sometimes made Jed and Jenna do things. Stupid things. Crazy things. That's what happened with Mr. Burke.

Jenna would blame Katon Jedry. She stayed up late with him one Friday watching porno vids. He had a couple of shemale videos he thought she might like to see. It was hard to resist that cherubic smile of his when he told her the great lengths to which he'd gone to get them. "I thought of you," he said, describing the three-hour drive to Knoxville and back and the adult book store where he'd bought them.

And even though she resisted the temptation to touch herself during the movie, the way Katon was doing, she had to admit the videos were more than a little arousing. By the end of the second video Katon was completely naked, and she couldn't help sneaking glimpses at his cock, and his balls, out of the corner of her eye. Katon had the nicest balls she'd ever seen. The way they hung down, swaying sensually back and forth as he rocked his hips in a slow, steady rhythm that matched the action on the screen, was almost as arousing as the video. More, actually.

But nothing had happened, and Jenna went to bed frustrated. Not that she wanted anything to happen. Sex with Katon was a place she knew she couldn't go. But the next day at work she knew what she needed to do. The day was hot and dragged by. She couldn't keep her mind off sex. The romance novels she had brought weren't enough; she wanted more.

Saturdays were paydays, and Burke made it a point to meet Jenna just before she closed the station for the weekend so he could pay her. She knew he looked at her when he thought she wouldn't notice. Heck, he looked at her when he knew she would notice. So far he hadn't done anything but look, but she figured all she had to do was give him the sign and he'd come running.

Why Mr. Burke? Mostly because he was available. He was cute, though, in that middle-aged male sort of way. He had a round face and a shy grin, with a dimple on one cheek. Maybe it was that stray tuft of chest hair that always stuck out the top of his shirt. Seeing it always made her want to just tear open his shirt and start running her fingers through his chest hair. Plus he was just a nice man. The fact that he paid her, in cash, without asking too many questions, attested to his kindness.

There were other reasons, though: a wife and two divorces. A man like Robert Burke needed to be careful. He wouldn't want to get caught. That gave Jenna some leverage, letting her call the shots. All she really wanted to do was give someone a blow job. After that, even though Mr. Burke might want and expect more, she could put him off as much as she needed. If he ever got too demanding, all she had to do was threaten to make their affair public.

Jenna had just switched off and locked the pumps at 5:04pm when Burke drove into the station's parking lot. "Closing up?" he asked, giving her a quick look before heading inside to get some cash from the cash box. Jenna could just as easily have taken the money herself, and saved him the trip, but she knew it made him feel better if she let him do it himself.

"Yeah, then I was thinking I might go for a little drive," she said, following him inside. "Seems like a nice night for it. I can't believe how hot it was today. I'm going to take my top off and go just as fast as I can."

The intentional double meaning caught Burke's attention, causing him to falter slightly in his counting. He looked at Jenna, not sure if this time she didn't mean the other top. "Okay if I give you a fifty today? I'm short on twenties."

She smiled softly. Briefly imagining herself as a prostitute arranging payment for the sex act she hoped was about to take place, she said, "Fifty sounds fine." She glanced quickly toward his crotch and then back up, wondering if he'd get the message.

He handed her the money, which she took without counting; she'd watched him count it out. She folded it once and stuffed it into the front pocket of her jeans. For just a moment she made no move to leave, and then remembered her book. "Oh, I almost forgot my book," she said, stepping past him to get it, letting her hip brush his as she did.

"What ya reading?" he asked when she still seemed in no hurry to leave.

She showed him the cover, reading the title. It was the standard cover, showing a young girl in the arms of her lover. He grinned. "Romance novels. Never read one. Can't imagine them being as good as the real thing."

She shrugged. "Depends, I guess. My boyfriend's mad at me right now. So... This is the next best thing."

"Why's he mad at you?"

"I don't know," she said. "He won't tell me."

"Does your husband know you have a boyfriend?"

The trouble with lying is you have to remember all the time what lies you've told and to whom. Jenna had forgotten that she'd led her employer to believe she had a husband. "Uh, no. Maybe. I don't know. He might. It's kind of why we broke up."

Burke nodded, understanding. "Your boyfriend lives around here?"

Jenna hesitated, not sure how much to tell him. The conversation wasn't going quite the way she had planned. For a moment she considered telling him that Katon was her boyfriend, but decided against it. The fact that she lived with him would be hard to reconcile with what she'd just said about him being mad at her. She knew from experience that it was best to keep your lies simple and as close to the truth as possible. "No. He used to. Now he lives down around Chattanooga."

"So why aren't you in Chattanooga then?" he asked, curious. He sat down on the desk, one foot still touching the floor.

That was a good question. Partly because she couldn't go back to Utah. Partly because at least in Mayville she knew a few people. The only person she would know in Chattanooga was Lucas. And right now Lucas didn't seem to want to have anything to do with her. "I thought it would be easier to stay here," she said. "I have family here. And friends."

He nodded again. "Makes sense. Except if you're here and he's there, there's not much chance of the two of you getting back together again. Is there?"

Burke's argument made sense. Jenna had no response. Like everything else in her life, it was mixed up. "I don't know," she said at length. "I don't know how to get him back. I was hoping he'd just take me back and everything would work out for us."

She appeared to be on the verge of tears, causing Burke to take pity on her. "What's his name?" he asked gently. "Maybe I can help."

"Lucas," she said softly. "Lucas Mysinger."

Burke thought for a moment. "Yeah, I remember him. Blonde kid, kinda scrawny looking, but in a tough way. His uncle comes in from time to time. I always thought he might be gay."

Panic! Okay, don't panic. He doesn't know anything for sure. Distract him away from what he's thinking. "You thought Leland Mysinger was gay?" she asked, laughing softly.

"Well, no. Never really thought about him being gay. Maybe. I know he never married. No, I was talking about Lucas. He used to run around with your brother, in fact. Lived out there in his uncle's trailer. Something always seemed a little fishy about both of them, if you ask me."

Jenna laughed. "Jed? Gay? No, I don't think so," she lied. "He's married now, with two kids and a dog and a mortgage." She knew Burke would never be able to check on the accuracy of her story.

Burke shrugged. "Maybe I was wrong about your brother, then. I guess I could be wrong about Lucas. Of course, if he's letting you get away, you got to wonder if there's a reason."

Jenna remained silent for a time. Finally she said, "Maybe they were just experimenting. High school's a time for that."

She recognized that look Burke was giving her just then - undressing her with his eyes. All she had to do was give him permission, she knew. She hesitated, feeling the butterflies in her stomach. Did she really want to do this with her boss? She looked down at the floor, then back up at him. Their eyes met. She could sense the question on his mind. She held his gaze for a second longer than necessary, then glanced quickly down at his crotch. She wasn't even sure she'd meant to. She looked back up at his face. Whether she'd meant to or not, she'd just answered his question.

And then he was holding her. Hugging her in a fatherly sort of way, actually. Letting her know it was okay. Okay to be nervous. Okay to be confused. Okay for his hands to be on her back, underneath the faded denim shirt she wore over a pink t-shirt.

He held her like that, his hands softly caressing her back. Still she hesitated. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? On the surface it was a fatherly sort of hug, but she knew it would take just one subtle movement from her to make it into something else. Right now her small breasts were just barely touching his chest. If she moved forward slightly, and pressed them against him, if she lifted her arms and slipped them around his waist, everything would change. If she even looked up, her lips would be close enough for him to kiss her. Okay, that's what she'd do. She'd look up. And if he kissed her, then whatever happened after that wouldn't be her fault.

The kiss was short, if you only count the time her lips stayed closed. If you count the time that Burke's tongue filled her mouth, it was long enough for him to turn her around, pull her shirt up in a few places, and to begin fondling her breasts. As their lips parted, Jenna felt her control over the situation returning. "Help me take my top off," she coaxed.

Burke was only too happy to comply with her request. He undid most of the buttons on her denim over-shirt, tearing one and leaving the other in place. As she shimmied out of that shirt and began working on getting out of the tight pink tee, she glanced at the door, wondering if it would be wise to lock it against any unwanted guests. With the large pane of glass revealing most of what they were doing, anyway, she decided it was a futile gesture.

"I want to suck your dick," she breathed as Burke fumbled at unsnapping her pink lace bra. She pushed her hips backward, grinding her ass against his cock, trying to feel if he was as hard as she imagined.

When he had undone her bra and helped her take it off he quickly kissed and fondled her small breasts, never remarking on their size. "I want to suck your dick," she said again, carefully placing the words between moans.

He continued to fondle her breasts for several moments before finally responding to her wishes. "Bring your clothes," he said.

Burke locked the door on his way to his office/bedroom in the back. When Jenna got there, she found him hurriedly unzipping his pants and lowering them in anticipation of her arrival. He was about as she'd expected - slightly smaller than average, with thick, dark brown hair hiding his balls and traveling up his stomach toward his chest. She knew she'd come close to losing control and struggled to regain it. "Take off all your clothes," she commanded.

He finished removing his pants and began removing his shirt. "You take off all of your clothes, too," he said.

She shook her head. "All you're getting today is a blow job. You don't need to see anything else."

He looked as if he might argue the point, but thought better of it and stayed silent. A blow job was better than nothing. Besides, he was at least seeing her tits. Even if they were on the small side.

When he had removed his shirt he moved toward her, still wearing his socks. "No, socks, too," she insisted. Why did too many guys think that was an acceptable look?

He sat on the couch to take off his socks and she moved around to kneel on the floor in front of him. "Besides, I'm on my period," she lied, making sure he didn't get any ideas about getting more than a blow job from her.

She took her time, slowly exploring and fondling his manhood. It had been years since she'd last studied one this closely. Katon's didn't count. His was off limits to her. It wasn't the cutest one she'd ever seen. That honor belonged to Lucas, although she had to admit she was most likely very biased on the subject. But it would do. She leaned closer and kissed it, letting her lips slide part way down the shiny tip.

Burke moaned. "So does that bother you?" she asked between slurps.


"That my boyfriend might have been doing things in high school with my brother?"

He moaned, probably unused to conversing during sex. "I suppose that's their business," he said.

Jenna smiled, liking the answer. "What if it was two girls instead?" she asked.

She could almost feel his cock throb in response to the idea. "That would be okay."

"I once did it with a girl," said Jenna, running her tongue up the length of his shaft. It seemed ironic that she could tell the truth in this case and have it be to her advantage. "Want to hear about it?"

"Can I fuck you and hear it?" he asked.

Jenna laughed. "Only if you like blood. Remember?"

"I don't mind," said Burke.

Jenna imagined he wouldn't. "I'd mind," she said firmly.

"Can I cum in your mouth?" he asked with a moan.

Jenna began telling the story as she sucked. "Her name was Shauna. She was a couple inches shorter than me, brunette, brown eyes. Her boobs were bigger than mine, though."

"Yours aren't that big," said Burke, stating the obvious.

"I think that's what attracted her to me," said Jenna, taking his cock deep.

"Did you two ever kiss?" he asked.

Jenna laughed, wrapping her hand around Burke's wet, slippery cock and stroking it up and down a few times. "Why do guys think it's so sexy for girls to kiss? Yes, we kissed a lot. We probably did that more than sex." She stopped stroking and went back to slurping on his cock.

Jenna couldn't help being slightly amused by what was happening. Mr. Burke was getting a hard-on thinking about two girls doing it, while he was quite obviously opposed to homosexual males. She wondered what he would think if he knew he was being sucked off by a tranny. "He'll probably kill me if he ever finds out," she thought.

"What was it about her that attracted you?" asked Mr. Burke.

She considered her answer as she concentrated on swallowing his entire shaft. When she could answer, she said, "I think it was just everything about her. She was pretty. And sexy. And she liked me. That might have been the one thing that attracted me the most to her. If that makes sense."

Burke nodded and then moaned his agreement. "I guess I liked her tits the most," she added.


"Envy. I wish mine were bigger. I wanted to have tits like hers. I'd play with them, and suck them and kiss them, and wish they were mine."

Again, more truth conveniently being misinterpreted had Burke close to an orgasm. "Did you ever eat each other's pussies?"

"Just once." She knew he was getting close. "It was at her house, and her parents were gone. We were in high school. We just started making out for some reason. And then we started taking each other's clothes off." She paused to give his cock the attention it needed. "And then we did a tight little 69, right there on her mom's living room couch. It's lucky no one caught us."

"Did either of you cum?" he asked, his breath ragged, his eyes closed, his orgasm near.

"Only after we untangled ourselves and started rubbing our pussies together." Slurp. "And then it was like we couldn't stop until we'd both came." Quick slurp. "It was like we both just kept wanting to get closer and closer." Slowly sucking and licking the tip. "I think if someone had come in on us at that exact moment, we would have had to finish what we were doing." Long, slow slurp. "It was that intense."

Burke was silent for a moment, his eyes closed, probably imagining the image of two young girls in a tight embrace, their hot, wet pussies pressed tightly together. The image was enough to bring his orgasm. Jenna felt the throb of cum rushing outward, resulting in a slow dribble of fluid in her mouth that she easily swallowed.

"Who came first?" he asked, when his orgasm at last subsided.

"You did," she teased. "But don't worry. I cleaned up the mess."

"No, I mean out of you and... What's her name?"

Jenna kissed her employer's dick softly as it began to wilt. "I really don't remember. I think we both must have cum at the same time. I don't think I've ever been as connected to a person as I was at that moment. So I'm sure we came at the same time."

* * * * *

Okay, well, I said I'd give details on Jed and Shaina's sexual indiscretion, and I thought Jenna was going to explain that better for us while she was doing her boss, but reading back I don't think she was totally clear, even though she was being as truthful as she could, under the circumstances. So, let me see if I can be a little more specific.

First, just to make sure we all understand what just happened, when Jenna was blowing her boss and telling him her story, she was trying to balance an actual memory with an erotic rendering of that memory, and tendering it with a need to change some of the facts slightly to keep Bob Burke from figuring out that she used to be a boy. So it came out a little different than the way it actually happened.

Shaina - Jenna calls her Shauna in her story - you recall, had light brown hair. Jenna improvised by making her a brunette. That's just artistic license. Shaina's breasts were most definitely bigger than Jed's and even bigger than Jenna's. As Burke pointed out, however, Jenna's "aren't that big."

Yes, Jed and Shaina kissed a lot and, as Jenna suggests, "probably did that more than sex." Well, they only had sex the one time, after all. And they kissed quite a bit in preparation for that one time.

Jenna's thoughts on envying Shaina's breasts, benefitting from hindsight, were quite factual.

Oh, the pussy eating. When Jenna describes doing a tight little 69 with Shauna, that really happened. Except, of course, it was with Shaina, and Jed didn't have a pussy, he had a penis. And it wasn't in high school; it was a year after Jed had finished college, and it wasn't at her parents' house, it was at an apartment that she shared with a roommate. The roommate was not expected back for at least a day, so their risk of being discovered was low. It did start with a make-out session that soon got out of control. Control being one of those relative terms.

The mutual rubbing of pussies was Jenna's description for normal heterosexual intercourse. Yes, Jed, a heterosexual virgin to that point, did indeed place a certain part of his anatomy into the accepting orifice of a member of the opposite sex. I don't know if they actually came at the same time, and Jenna refuses to tell me. She insists the event culminated in simultaneous orgasms. As if anyone believes in those.

Well, what about that part where Jenna says, "I think if someone had come in on us at that exact moment, we would have had to finish what we were doing. It was that intense." And technically there needs to be a question mark some place in that last sentence, but after thoroughly examining all the possible places to put it, I decided to just leave it out. It seems to confuse more than help.

Sadly, that part's not true. They were pretty safe from being interrupted with Shaina's roommate gone for the weekend, but that probably just made things worse. If they could have had that potential distraction to consider, they might not have been so overwhelmed with the thoughts and feelings that typically accompany first time sex and make it, unfortunately, often a less than wonderful experience. Sorry to disappoint if there are any readers who still haven't had their first time experience. I'm not saying first times are bad. Personally, I love writing about first times. I'm just saying there's a lot going on that first time, and it's easy to be underwhelmed by the experience. Trust me, it gets better.

Add the sin quotient in - remember Jed was obligated to repent for having sex out of wedlock - and it just wasn't "that intense".

Personally, I thought Jenna's version was more interesting.

* * * * *

Whew! Okay, so... let's see... In this chapter Jed has sex with Shaina, then Jenna gets a job working for Bob Burke, to whom she gives a blow job while she describes what it was like having sex with a girl, which is a fun bit of irony because he thinks she's talking girl-girl sex and she's actually talking about the only straight sex she or Jed has ever had. And then I interspersed a short interpretation, just in case anyone got confused about what just happened. And I really need to talk about one more thing before we can move on to the next chapter - Joey.

Joey Mullins, you recall, was the boy who lived just down the street from Jed, the one with whom Jed first started experimenting sexually. "Interfering with their factories" is the phrase they used way back then, after hearing the analogy used in a church meeting warning them about the dangers of masturbation. Intentionally causing eruptions of semen in circumstances that were outside the bonds of holy matrimony. Sinning. Or, as Jed and Joey preferred to call it, playing nasty.

To quickly refresh your memory, Jed and Joey got caught with their pants down, literally, by Joey's mother. Actually I think their pants were all the way off, and so were their shirts, and - purely on a dare, of course - a portion of Joey's anatomy was strategically placed in Jed's mouth. The proverbial shit hit the fan, and the end result was that Jed got shipped off to Mayville, Tennessee to live with his aunt and uncle while his parents went on an LDS mission to Sweden.

It's not that his parents didn't love him. They did. It's just that, with issues to work out, it seemed like the best choice at the time was what essentially amounted to a trial separation. Jed's uncle, J. Kelton Elkins, was a well-respected psychiatrist, and the idea was that it would be easier for Jed to figure things out there with his uncle's help, than it would be to deal with the situation half a world away in a foreign country.

Joey, on the other hand, stayed in Provo, Utah with his parents, who did their best to solve their son's issues with same sex attraction. Joey's life is a story of its own (No, I'm not thinking of writing it.) so I'm going to just fast forward to August 2004. Jedidiah had just broken up with Shaina - after having sex they just seemed to lose interest in each other - and was walking down the street when a passing motorist started yelling at him, "Hey, Jed!"

At first Jed was inclined to ignore the yeller, since he was on the sidewalk and well out of the way of traffic. But the fact that this particular motorist, who was now honking his horn, seemed to know his name made him think it might not be related to traffic issues. It took him... Well, to be honest, even when he looked at the grinning redhead who was now waving insanely at him, he had no idea who it was. Synapses dusted off some dust and cobwebs as they traveled down a road they hadn't used in years, and eventually came up with a name to match the face. Joey Mullins.

He was yelling for Jed to get in his car. Although that meant jaywalking and possibly getting run over in the process, it seemed preferable to having Joey creep down the street at a walking pace, his attention on anything but his driving. "Hey! How ya been? I heard you were in Salt Lake now. I never thought I'd run into you. Where ya going?"

Joey was an excitable person. Jed tried to inject an aura of calm into the cab of the rattling pickup as he shoved aside various piles of trash, searching for a seatbelt and gave his answers. Fine. You? Yes, he worked in Salt Lake now so that's where he lived. Although actually he lived in West Valley City, which is just south of Salt Lake, in a two-bedroom apartment. For personal reasons, he avoided the question of where he was going.

Okay, if you must know, Jed was on his way to a magazine shop where he planned on anonymously looking through adult magazines during his lunch hour with no real intentions to purchase. See why he avoided the question?

Although, if he had gone ahead and told Joey what he was doing, Joey might have thought that was a great idea and either would have joined him, or at least felt less awkward about suggesting they try getting together sometime and catch up on things. After all, it had been more than ten years since that fateful day at Joey's house, and they hadn't really spoken to each other any time since. But, awkward or not, the offer was made, and accepted.

The Lord moves in mysterious ways sometimes, thought Jed. He didn't spend a lot of time in adult magazine shops looking at porn, but whenever he started feeling horny, it was a way to relieve pressure. And since he'd broken up with Shaina, he was feeling an increase in that pressure. Maybe Joey was still interested in doing things, the way they used to. And maybe it was God's will that he ran into Joey instead.

God's will indeed. If Jed had had any idea what lay in store for him that day, he probably would have run as fast as he could the other way. Or at least insisted on the sanctity of not jaywalking. "I never chose to be transgendered," Jenna would insist. "It chose me."

If that's the case, then as Jed knocked on Joey's door three days later, a transgendered life was in the process of choosing him. It took his mind several seconds to register that the mannish-looking redhead who answered the door was the same person who had been yelling at him three days earlier on a Salt Lake City street. "Joey?"

Joey was dressed in an ivory-colored skirt, with white stockings, and a dark blue blouse. Around his neck he wore pearls - probably fake - with a matching bracelet on his wrist. The heels he was wearing made him taller than Jed remembered. He had his face made up, and was wearing a wig. "Come in," he said, in a husky falsetto. And, just a word of warning here, don't try the husky falsetto at home, kids. There's a very real possibility of hurting yourself.

Okay, I'm just kidding. It's probably perfectly safe.

To make a long story short - and why you'd ever want to make a long story short escapes me at the moment. Oh, because it's coming up on lunch time, and I fear that spending too much time on Joey might detract from the story I'm really trying to tell, which is the story of Jed/Jenna and Lucas. So, as interesting as the "Joey months" might be, I'm going to gloss over them and attempt to condense them down to just a few paragraphs. And maybe I can get to my sandwich before this August heat wilts all my lettuce.

To say the least, learning that Joey had gone on to become a cross-dresser was interesting. Very interesting. So interesting that Jed wanted to come back. Several times.

At first they just talked. I know. That's hard to believe. You'd think they would start playing nasty or something. But ten years is a long time, and people change, and playing nasty, even though it was something they both wanted to do, as it turned out, isn't the kind of game you just pick up and start playing again right away. They had to feel each other out first. Emotionally, not physically! Sheesh! Get your mind out of the gutter for just a second. I'm trying to tell a serious literary story here.

Although feeling each other out physically came shortly after. It started with kissing. And it wasn't at all like kissing a boy, thought Jed. Okay, maybe a little like kissing a boy. I mean, once you close your eyes, who could tell the difference? Unless the boy you're kissing has a beard or a mustache, or needs a shave, then you might be able to tell, but Joey didn't have any of those things. And if you just go by what they're wearing, then kissing Joey was a lot more like kissing a girl than a guy. A few times Jed would have to open his eyes and look, just to make sure he really was kissing a guy who happened to be dressed like a girl and not a real girl.

For two or three months, Jed thought that's how it was going to be. Joey, he thought, was his new girlfriend. Oh, he'd more or less given up on keeping those commandments by then. Not exactly given up, but living a life of sexual chastity just seemed too difficult when sex meant so much to him. What could he do? He could go repent to the bishop every week or two, but realistically, it just seemed to make more sense to quit bothering anyone about it. The less they knew the better. I mean, it wasn't like he was breaking any of the really bad commandments. No one was getting hurt from it. In fact, the way Joey moaned when he was being sucked off, there was no question he really enjoyed it.

One thing was for certain. He was more comfortable having sex with Joey in a dress than he was with Shaina. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was like with Shaina he always felt this pressure to perform. With Joey, it was just fun. Okay, he had to admit that Joey, even with makeup and shaving and lingerie and everything else still looked like a guy in a dress, and wasn't nearly as pleasant to look at as Shaina had been. But for the comfort of the relationship, he'd take Joey in a dress.

Somewhere in his mind, however, was Lucas. No, not in a dress. He couldn't imagine Lucas ever wanting to do that. Lucas was all the things he liked about Shaina and Joey rolled into a single person.

There was no doubt he liked being with Lucas. Or had liked it. How many years had it been? And, ever since that time on his mission when Lucas had insisted on seeing him - Couldn't Lucas realize there was no way anything was ever going to happen while he was on his mission? - Lucas's letters had seemed colder and more distant. In any case, there was no doubt he liked Lucas's company. More than he had Shaina's and more than he did Joey's. Face it, other than the sex, he really didn't like Joey that much. But he liked Lucas, even without the sex.

And he liked the way Lucas looked. He was, yes, he was cute. Sexy cute. And he kissed... Yeah, that first time Lucas had kissed him, he was pretty sure he'd seen fireworks. And every time after that. Maybe not fireworks, but something pretty nice. And then, whenever he saw Lucas naked... Yeah, instant hard-on. Okay, maybe that was just because he knew being naked meant they were more likely to have sex, but still, there was just something about Lucas' body that Jed found attractive. A little bit it was his boyish looks. His boyish looks combined with his street-developed ruggedness. Yeah, Lucas without any clothes on did as much for him as Shaina without hers.

So, for a couple of months, Jed believed that's how it was going to be. Perhaps not Joey. He sensed what he was doing with Joey was just the lead-in to something bigger and better. But, yes, perhaps transgenders were his destiny.

Oh, right, yes. God's will. Except God had just one little twist for Jed's destiny.

"Why don't you try wearing my bra and some panties, Jed? Just to see what it's like."

The rest is pretty much history. Jed liked it. If sex with Joey in a dress was pretty good, and even better than sex with a girl, then having sex while you were dressed like a girl with another guy who was dressed like a girl was even better. Ten times better. Although nobody was actually out there measuring quality of sexual satisfaction and as far as how you would go about actually measuring such a thing is a theoretical exercise anyway. So ten times, five times, two times, what's the difference? It was better, that's all that matters.

Oh, uh, Jed and Joey only did oral sex. I know. When I sit here and say sex sex sex, you're thinking more than that, but, really, that's all there was. Oh, and while I'm thinking of it, the sandwich was delicious.

Oral sex, kissing, French kissing, making out, touching, rubbing. They went back to putting their weenies between each other's legs and squeezing together while the weenie's owner would fuck in and out. That's what they called fucking and was the closest they ever came to the kind of fucking you're thinking about when I use the word fuck.

Well, I'll tell you why. Joey wasn't sure he was ready for that. And Jed, Jed wasn't sure he wanted to do that with Joey. For Jed, that promise to Lucas back in high school... Of course, since he and Lucas were no longer together, it obviously didn't mean anything anymore, but to Jed it still meant something special. Fucking, like that, was the mark of a very special and loving relationship. He liked Joey, but not enough to do anal sex with him.

So, with Joey's help, Jed started wearing girl clothes more and more. And liking it more and more. And slowly becoming aware of a new side of himself. When one night, after some very satisfying sex with Joey, Jed went home thinking he would go straight to sleep, he stripped down to his boxer shorts and dove into bed. Only to not sleep.

Why? What was wrong? His thoughts kept going back to the chemise folded neatly in one of his drawers. "Damn it!" he thought finally, rolling out of bed. Still not sure why he wanted to do it, he took off his boxers and put the chemise on over his head. Then, thinking further, he grabbed some panties and put those on, too. Satisfied, he dove back into bed and went straight to sleep.

That's when he began to realize there might be more to his cross-dressing than just sexual kinks.