Date: Wed, 3 Aug 2011 02:05:58 -0700
From: The Crow <bard.crow@gmail.com>
Subject: My Confession

A confession of mine. It's something I've always wanted to get off my
chest and say, but our of fear of what those around me would say I
never could. It has a little bit to do with another story I wrote,
and some of the feeling I had as a child that I used in another story
as well. It is a true story. When you are done, please email me and
tell me what you think

bard.crow@gmail.com

My first interests in cross dressing occurred really early in life.
I always had this desire to be a girl, ever since I was little. For
some reason I felt out of place as a child. Not that I was or am gay.
It's weird. I'm not in denial or anything, I am genuinely attracted
to women mainly. But I felt that my body was wrong.

At first it was simply stealing a garment here and there from my
mother and wearing it in the bathroom when nobody was around. At the
time I was interested in dimply, loose summer dresses, panties and
having breasts.

This started when I was around 10 or 11.

My first indulgence in cross dressing was when a family friend left
her bathing suit behind at out house. It was a one piece, suit and
it was in my bathroom for a while. During the summer I was left alone
at home and I would take it and look at myself in the mirror while
wearing it. It took me a few tried to actually put it on. My heart
would start racing, my head felt light and my penis would swell and
throb as I slid it slowly up my leg. It tickled as is dragged across
my pale, hairless legs and gently hugged my body as a pulled it up
my body and snapped the straps in place. My tiny little cock and
balls bulges our slightly in the front, so I would use a little duck
tape before I put it on to keep it tucked down. It was hard because
I would get so excited and the tape would not keep it in place. This
was before I learned what sexual arousal was as well, so I also never
masturbated either. I'd just stare and play around with it under my
clothes.

Eventually it had to go back and it was a few years before I worked
up the nerve to start stealing my mother's clothes. I started with
bras, placing water balloons to fill the massive DD cups and then her
sweaters and panties and eventually her dresses and makeup. I liked
being pretty.

I almost got caught a few times but I managed to fake a slow digestive
system and would hole up in the bathroom to dress and stow the stolen
clothes behind a drawer in my bathroom until I could sneak them back.

I had a friend who'd also come over and share my cross dressing
activities. The summer when I was 11 or 12 he'd admitted to dressing
up in his sister's clothes. His sister was a little older than us and
he'd bring some of her clothes for us to share. We'd play in her
clothes for a while, then he'd take her stuff back and go home for the
rest of the day. I used to love this flowered sundress as my favorite.
It was white with pink flowers. I'd wear it while we played video
games in my room. I didn't wear any boxers or panties while wearing
it. My cock and bottom felt nice in the cool breeze.

I think my friend was gay. Eventually we started experimenting. First
it was just him changing in front of me. Then he's flip up his dress
and let his erection poke out of his panties or just whiped it out of
his pants and start touching it and rubbing it while we played video
game until it calmed down. I started doing it too. I remember my penis
being quite a bit smaller than his actually. At first he'd make fun
of me, but then he'd start touching it. It felt weird having some one
else touch it, but it felt thrilling at the time.

After a couple of years of this when we were 15 we began to experiment
in anal sex after school one day. I received first. It hurt, and he
came in my ass. I ended up getting a blow job from him. It really was
perverted, the two of us spending out time wearing stolen clothes from
his sister and fucking each other almost every day. I still don't
consider myself bisexual, bust open to a lot of things.

I did this until I was about sixteen and then stopped. He moved away
and I went five years without touching another article of women's
clothing. Not because I was a afraid or hurt, but because I just felt
I needed to stop before I got caught.

When I was 21 I started it again when I was left home alone quite a
bit more often and for several days at a time. I started stealing my
mother's stuff again and wearing it under my clothes. Mostly just
panties and skirts. Masturbation  was a ritual. I'd steal a skirt,
a night pair of panties, a sweater and bra and spend 3 or 4 hours
on the computer looking at lesbian porn. This lasted only a year
before the novelty wore off and stopped it all together. But two years
later, here I am in my own place. Free to dress or do most anything
I want.

Yeah, I'm a pervert. As I write this I haven't worn anything in two
days except a diaper. No, I'm not suddenly going to turn this into
a scat fetish story. Like anyone who spends too much time on the
computer, normal porn became boring. I started at looking at trannies,
men, cartoon and anime porn and weird fetishes. Wearing a big pink,
poofy an crinkly diaper thrilled me like I was 10 and putting on that
one piece suit again. Night gowns, Bras, panties, dresses, makeup,
diapers, teddy bears and bottles, camisoles, breast molds, sex toys,
nudism. I've slowly spiraling into a mess of desires.

I want to be a woman with all my heart, to grow up a girl and live as
a woman. I know I'll never be one, and at some time I'll have to stop
for good. But for right now, I'm actually happy wallowing in my pit of
perversion.

bard.crow@gmail.com