Date: Sat, 02 Jul 2005 03:16:27 +0000
From: nohacd@comcast.net
Subject: Turning Myself On

     Like every other male growing up I was crazy about girls. I was amazed
by their beauty and figures. I was amazed at how easily I gave them control
and power over myself and intelligence. I grew up jealous of how girls
could wear pants or skirts and I only could wear pants. They had so many
gorgeous outfits and I only had a choice of pants or pants. Well when I
finally got out on my own I decided that I wanted to do something about
it. I was tired of staring at gorgeous girls with there long smooth tan
legs and short skirt and wishing that could be me for even a moment. I
decided that I would raid my girl-friends clothing drawer.

       I found these very sexy mesh semi-see through sea-blue panties. I
put them on and was amazed at how much guilt I felt. I felt dirty. As much
as part of me enjoyed it and new I did and wanted to try on a lot more I
considered it wrong and immediately thought I should take them off. I did
with a racing heart and deep feelings of guilt and fear my girl friend
would catch me and tell the world.

       It wasn?t until several months later that I finally got up the
courage to do it again. I put them on and I felt great but I still felt
guilty. I wanted to know the feeling of how they felt all day. I didn?t
have any plans and was suppose to be alone. Mauri was suppose to be away
for the day so I figured I would be safe. So I wore them under my jeans and
went out.

      I never felt so sexy and turned on. A strange new sensation of the
mesh sexy high cut panties that really felt as if they hugged every inch of
my ass and crotch I was hard almost instantly.  I wasn?t planning on my
girl friend finding out but that was soon to be corrected.  She called me
on my cell and told me she was back and wanted to meet me out for a walk. I
told I would be home soon I was just at the mall. She suddenly informed me
that she was at macy?s and said ?where are you in the mall? I was nervous
and tried to make an excuse of some kind but couldn?t think of anything and
so before I new it she and I were walking through the mall. I really
thought she didn?t knew, I thought I might actually be able to get home and
out without anyone being the wiser.

        As we were walking she told be she was for some reason really
turned on and wanted to make out in my car. So instead of waiting to go
directly home we walked to my car. I should tell you that she told me in
the past that she always fantasized about being with another women but
never did. Which deep down made me think that she might just be
understanding about be deep dark desires but I never would have admitted it
on a councious level. Well I was about to find out.

       We started kissing. I was being I little more passive and allowing
her to take control. I was sitting in the drivers seat her in the passenger
and she leaned over and we started to kiss passionately. Her hands started
roaming and her tongue was more dominate than normal penetrating my mouth
as I normally penetrate hers. I didn?t mind maybe it was the panties but I
wanted her to dominate me a little. I wanted to feel what she felt all
those times I made her cum multiple times in one night.  She start to
whisper that she was turned on as we were walking by my ass.  She wasn?t
sure why but she said she was really turned on. Her hand playing with my
chest as she talked and kissed.

       These were passionate kisses the kind where the saliva is dripping
all over and neither care. Her mouth was like a pussy after cumming soft
moist and wet and I was so turned on I wanted to explode. My hard cock
feeling my jeans thru the mesh of the panties and kissing and making out
with my girl friend well I was lost in exstacy until she start to run her
hands down my shirt and to my crotch. Suddenly real life came back to me. I
got scared; a million thoughts ran through my mind: Oh god she will think
I?m queer, she will dump me; she will tell my parents, I will be ostrasized
by society, all my friends will find out I like my cock, I am sacred to
tell, I am not ready for this, oh god what a mistake I am making.

    I stopped and quickly jumped back and said we really should be
going. She stopped and looked really perplexed then the perplexed looked
turned into pissed off and annoyed.  ?what?s going on.? She said.

? I just don?t want to talk about it.?

 ?Why and what?s going on? why did you stop? she said getting more annoyed
by the second.

I studdered for what seemed several minutes. ?I don?t know what to say. I
uh uh have a secret.?  What the fuck why did I say that I could believe; I
said it. I mean I dated her for five years and never felt the need to say
anything why now.

?What is it? We?re making out and I?m horny as hell and you feel now is the
time to tell me about a secret?? She said with a confused and annoyed look
on her face.

?I am scared to tell you??

? Why?? suddenly switching tones to a very nice and sweet tone.

?I am not sure how to tell you? I uh uh??

? Just tell me we have been dating 5 years I think you can tell me??

? I uh have a fetish??

She laugh? what is it? And Why now were you shopping for it? Did I
interrupt??

?I uh uh , I can?t tell you I am afraid?

?I?m not going to judge you I love you?

?You say that now?

?No I mean it? she replied. Her sincerity won me over I really believed her
but was still scared as hell. With my heart racing and my nerves jittery I
said? I uh uh like women?s underwear.? And I brought her hand to the jeans.

?Excuse me, is that why you moved away? your wearing them right now?where
did you get the?are they mine? LET ME SEE..?she raised her voice with a
pleasant sound of curiousity and excitement and her hand went directly for
my jeans.

I initially instinctively pushed her hands away. I practically smacked
them. Then I hesistantly opened my jeans and showed her with such feelings
of embaressement.

But then the most amazing thing happened.

?Oh those are sexy and cute?I really like those?.wait those are mine? she
said.

Well she started to ask me If I wore any of her other panties and flooded
me with a million questions. I was turning red like a high school girl
getting her first look and compliment from her boy friend. I was still
feeling so embaressed but some what really relieve at her failure to judge
me.

She then said something I wasn?t expecting ?May be we can fulfill two
desires at the same time.?

?uh? I said confused. I wasn?t fully sure I understood what she was saying.

She then proceeded to reminded me how she always wanted to be with another
woman and since I liked her panties maybe I would like some of her other
clothes and then she could fulfill her fantasy and at the same time I might
fulfill a fantasy I didn?t know I had or might not want to admit.

I drove home with excitement and fear.

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