************************************************************** * A Story Outline for Jake * * (part 1) * * (Correspondence between Luke and myself) * ************************************************************** | Copyright 2005 by Vince Water March 18, 2006 | -------------------------------------------------------------- Jake Marques is introduced as a new character in part 14 of my 'New to Teaching Love' series. He's a sixteen year old boy of mixed heritage: half Blackfoot and Mexican. And he is gay. For eleven years, Jake has boarded at the Rosebud Indian Mission School in South Dakota when his mother left him in their care at the age of five. Judy never saw her son again. Why is that? What series of events separated Winna from her kid sister in Montana that led to Judy running off with a Mexican migrant worker back to his country where their son Jake was born? Where is the boy's father now? How did his mother die? These questions and more will be answered in these parts. Not all the information contained herein will be revealed in the NtTL series but serves as a background for Jake that I needed before writing him into the story. He is not my creation. One of the readers to my 'New to Love' series wrote me an email. Like other readers, I was given praise for my efforts at story writing but he also provided with me with much needed critique and posed questions. That began our correspondence. His name is Luke. You may have seen some of his partner's nice sketches that were drawn of Mike, Jesse, Running Water, Jake, and grandfather. P.D. Kelly is also drawing illustrations to my 7th printing of the "Bare Butt Brave" novel. You can view these jpeg scanned drawings yourself on my Yahoo! Group: www.groups.yahoo.com/group/NtTLStoriesAndSketches Back to my growing frienship with Luke. He's been helping me with editing stories and offering comments and suggestions for improvement before I posted them with the Nifty Archive. I have come to depend on his support! On May 1st, 2003 Luke presented me with an outline for a character he'd like me to introduce into the series - Jake. It's taken me two years to do so. (Sorry for the wait, Luke!) What follows in this text is our exchange of correspondence concerning the background for this character. You'll see how the original outline developed between us to what you'll read in part 14 'New to Teaching Love' and what is yet to unfold. The following is our correspondence pertaining to Jake in developing his story outline. You'll note how parts of his background changed, the reason why he left school for instance turns out differently as Luke and I worked it out. Please keep in mind that nothing is 'written in stone' for this character until you read about it in a 'New to Teaching Love' story part. This outline is very revealing! Do not read further if you'd rather learn about Jake in the 'New to Teaching Love' series when the accounts of his background is gradually revealed to Mike, Jesse and Winna. Please note that at the time of my correspondence with Luke, I'd been using the feminine spelling of 'Jessie' for Mike's Indian lover. I'm correcting that in the story texts as of March 2006 as well as catching other spelling errors, grammar and making clarifications as needed. Those story texts will bear the 'Corrected 3/06' identifier below the title to denote these changes. No major rewrite. It's my hope that when I've corrected the twenty parts to 'New to Love' and the eighteen parts to 'New to Teaching Love', I'll be motivated to finish parts 19 and 20 to complete the second series. Then it's on to writing the 3rd series: 'New to Love Honeymoon'. The five 'Jake Outline' texts will remain true to my correspondence with Luke by retaining 'Jessie' as the spelling for Mike's lover. I'll be changing it to 'Jesse' in the story texts and posting with the Nifty Archive. www.Nifty.Org/ 5/1/2003 Luke wrote: What I want to get down now while it's fresh in my mind are some thoughts about the teenager whom Mike, Jessie and Winna take in. Because I read the two chapters you sent just before I went to sleep last night, I realize when I got up this morning that I had been dreaming about all this pretty continuously until I woke up. I am aware of waking up several times during the night having just come out of a dream about Mike and Jessie and what's going on with them. I'd turn over and go right back into another dream. So all this, spurred on by my correspondence with you, has really gotten to me! So let me tell you what I have been thinking about the Indian teenager whom, in my mind, I have been calling Jake. Jake does not have an Indian name yet when he arrives at Winna's home but the story will take him to the point where he will be given one - maybe by the old shaman or maybe by "Shaman in training" Jessie. Jake's story. Jake's mother, Judy, is Winna's youngest sister. She was born about seven years after her nearest sibling and, effectively, grew up as an only child with older parents. She also grew up "wild". She also developed physically early and by the time she was fourteen looked to be a fully developed woman although she was barely a teenager in terms of her emotional development. She didn't feel close to her Indian relatives at all and at about sixteen started hanging out one summer with some Mexican migrant workers who were working near where she lived. One of them, Miguel, paid her a lot of attention. Eventually this dispirited teenage Indian girl and this lonely, horny eighteen year old Mexican boy began to feel a strong sexual attraction which resulted in a passionate love making one afternoon just before Miguel was due to leave. They quickly hatched a plan for Judy to go with him and she took off with what she could stuff in a gym bag without telling her parents or any of her family. When the family realized that Judy was gone, they suspected that she had run away and, for reasons not completely clear, did not do anything to try to find her. Judy and Miguel go back to Mexico and Miguel takes Judy to live with his mother and siblings who live at home. He continues to have sex with her but it is clear to Judy that he doesn't love her. To her surprise and horror, she is pregnant. Miguel's mother takes over and, except for sleeping with Miguel (they never marry), she is treated as another daughter in Miguel's home. Jake is born - a healthy boy who is part Mexican and part Indian. He is raised for his first two years in Miguel's family home along with the other children whose fathers or mothers are Miguel's relatives. Miguel, alas, has grown tired of Judy. She still lives in his family's home and takes care of little Jake, but is treated like a servant (sort of a Cinderella type) by Miguel's family. Although Miguel's mother treats Judy fairly, she does not love her and Judy feels this keenly. Around the time that Jake is three, Judy has the chance to go back to the U.S. with some of the family members who are going to New Mexico for a family wedding. Because she has U.S. identification papers (I'm not sure what she would have), it is no problem for her and Jake to cross the border as U.S. citizens. When she gets to Alamogordo, NM, she re-experiences all the things about living in the U.S. that she had forgotten about and realizes that she missed. She determines that she needs to pull away from Miguel's family so in the middle of the night, she packs up herself and Jake, goes to the bus station, and buys a ticket for Los Angeles. She has managed to save some money by part time jobs she had while living in Mexico - all of which she brought with her. Judy vaguely remembers one of her own family members talking about an aunt or uncle who had moved to LA and she naively thinks that she will appear on their doorstep and be taken in. When she and Jake arrive, she looks in a phone book at the Greyhound station and to her relief, finds them. But to her horror they act like they don't know her and refuse to even see her. She eventually ends up in a room in somebody's house and immediately goes out to get a job. Little Jake is left in the care of a crack head woman who owns the house. This woman is a free spirit who, when she's on crack, takes off all her clothes and has sex with anybody who's there. Jake, at three years of age, sees all this going on. Sometimes he even wanders up to the two or three or more people who are having sex to look at them, touch them, and watch penises going into vaginas, butt holes, mouths. Sometimes they will take his clothes off and rub his penis and butt while they're having sex with each other. So Jake grows up from this period knowing almost all there is to know about the mechanics of adult sex. Judy knows a little about what goes on when she's not there but doesn't feel that she can do anything about it now she just ignores it. After about a year, Judy has found that she can make much more money turning tricks and that's what she does. She moves herself and Jake into an apartment of their own and that's where she brings her tricks. Jake, no longer a stranger to seeing adults have sex, regularly peeks at his mother with several of the guys. One time one of the guys gets up while mother is still sleeping to take a leak and sees Jake, now four years of age, staring at him from his "bed" on the living room couch. The guy is naked and hung - ponderous balls and a big dick. He walks over to Jake who immediately reaches up and touches his balls. The guy spreads his legs and sighs. Jake then strokes his penis which has gotten very hard and very big. Jake knows about men's bodies so he's not surprised and he knows that this guy's hard penis means that Jake can do things that will give this guy a lot of pleasure and also give Jake some power over him. He doesn't fully understand what this is all about but his "training" with the crack head landlady and her friends does make him sure that he knows what to do. Eventually, Judy is into drugs herself but not so much that she doesn't also know that she has to get Jake somewhere where he at least has the chance to lead a normal life. Her thoughts turn to something she has heard about a place in Rosebud, South Dakota where Indians are educated and taken care of. She has told Jake, in their moments alone, about her Indian heritage although not too much about her family except for her older sister, Winna, who had been almost like a second mother while she was growing up. Jake heard that Judy's family lived on a reservation in Montana. Being a very smart boy, he kept these things in his mind for he had an almost photographic memory. So Judy and Jake board a bus and took off for Rosebud. Jake was about five at this time although he acted like he was older. He was an attractive mix of Indian and Mexican although at this stage he was a kind of ugly duckling who would develop into a handsome swan. Judy and Jake arrive at Rosebud, South Dakota and are directed to the Indian school and compound which is run by the Jesuit Order along with volunteers from big cities where the Jesuits have colleges and universities. Judy talks with the administrator, an older Indian man not of her tribe, who tells her that the school can take Jake but he needs to live there and Judy needs to sign over guardianship to the school. It breaks Judy's heart but she agrees. However, nobody tells Jake about the specifics so when he and Judy have a tearful good-bye, Jake thinks that Judy will be coming back for him. Alas, this is not her intention and this good-bye turns out to be the last time he sees her. She gets back on the bus to Los Angeles and disappears from his life. Luckily she has been interviewed by the school social worker so the files on Jake do have a lot of information about Judy's family of origin back in Montana. Also it is clear that Jake is an American citizen despite having been born in Mexico (Judy had taken care of that about six months before) and that he is 50% Blackfoot Indian. She had told the social worker about Winna. Jake settles into life in the school. He is picked on by some of the other boys because he is new but he has already learned to take care of himself. He puts up a good fight when some older boys try to take off his pants even though they overpower him by larger size and numbers. He is extremely homesick for his mother but, at this point, still thinks that she is coming back. One of the staff members who befriends him is Father Jerry, a Jesuit priest. Fr. Jerry is a good man who has volunteered to come from Georgetown University in Washington, DC, to work at Rosebud with the Indians. He takes an immediately liking to little Jake and goes out of his way to make him feel at home. Jake is immediately suspicions of Fr. Jerry and thinks that he wants to do sexual things with him like the men whom mother entertained at home for money. Once he jumps in Fr. Jerry's lap and begins to subtly rub his butt around in Fr. Jerry's lap. He can feel Fr. Jerry's penis getting hard. To his surprise, though, Fr. Jerry lifts him down from his lap and suggests a game of basketball. Jake is surprised and puzzled. Doesn't Fr. Jerry want to have "fun" with him? As time goes on and Jake becomes a regular member of the school, he does well in school and shows his natural intelligence for school things. He is also extremely perceptive - almost as if he can tell what a person is thinking or feeling without them saying anything. He could always do this so he doesn't think it's unusual. He is also a natural athlete and does well in sports several of which are coached by Fr. Jerry. He does continue to do sexual things with other boys at the school in the showers or at night after lights out. [Vince - you'll have to augment things here!]. However, he never tells Fr. Jerry with whom he has a nonsexual, increasingly loving relationship. Fr. Jerry seems to be able to bring out the best in him. When Jake is 13 Fr. Jerry is recalled to Washington, DC. He is not able to say personally good-bye to Jake because "orders" from his Order came while he was on vacation visiting his parents in Indianapolis. He writes Jake a great letter which Jake takes off to his special place in the woods and sobs as if his heart would break. Fr. Jerry was the closest "father" Jake had ever had and he had left him too. Jake is feeling his male hormones pumping and he starts lifting weights almost obsessively. He has never felt good about his body going back to his youngest years. The Mexicans don't completely accept him nor do the Indians completely accept. It's like he's not part of either group. He unconsciously feels that if he can make his body muscular, it will make him feel good about himself inside. This never really happens but Jake becomes a very muscular young man who attracts increasingly more attention from both men and women. Like his mother before him, Jake quickly realizes that with his maturing, muscular body, he can make some money. On his leave days from the school, he goes into town by himself and hangs around places where adult men can pick him up and pay him for sex. He is already technically good at what they want to do with him although he has absolutely no feelings while doing it. It's almost like he's detached from his feelings. Like he's watching himself from someplace outside of himself. Occasionally a guy will rough him up and he has some explaining to do when he gets back to school with cuts and bruises. Nonetheless his strength and early experience taking care of himself in fights allows him to come out of these negative encounters OK. One thing, though, that he will not let these men do is fuck him. He has a strong feeling that he got from somewhere that this particular sexual act needs to be reserved for someone he loves even though he doesn't really know what love feels like. Otherwise he will do almost anything with these guys if the price is high enough. He learns that his uncircumcised adolescent dick is a real turn on for these men. He is perfectly willing to fuck them but the price is high and he always wears a condom. He also learns that some of them are fascinated by his brown butt and the "rosebud" inside. He allows some guys to rub their fingers across his butt hole and even lick him there. However, he stops them when they start to put their finger inside him although a few got a finger there because he was so turned on by the stimulation. Eventually, by age 16, he was almost getting to be a "pro" at sex for money. He does not say anything about this to his fellow school mates although they all notice that he is no longer interested in their sexual games in the showers or after lights out in the dorm. He is called to the office one afternoon and walks in to see the headmaster talking to a policeman. Somebody has filed a complaint about him and accused him of robbing him. Jake is, in fact, innocent of all this but what does come out through the policeman's questioning (and threatening) of him is a small part of what he is doing sexually for money. This is too much for this Catholic institution and it is decided there and then that he cannot stay there. Besides the bad reputation he might give to the school, he is much too sexually sophisticated to continue living with other boys who are just beginning to think that their penises might be for something other than peeing. But where to send him? His mother has had no contact with the school since Jake was left there at five years of age. However the social worker's family history of Jake taken from his mother before she departed for LA did indicate that he might have relatives in Montana. The current social worker agrees to try to locate somebody in his family as soon as possible. Back in Montana, a letter arrives addressed to Winna as follows: Dear Ms. [Winna]: I am writing to you regarding your nephew, Jake, who has been living at our school since he was five years of age. He is now 16. We have no way to reach his mother, your sister, Judy, who has had no contact with him since she left him with us. Because of some actions on Jake's part, we are no longer able to keep him here. Since you are the only relative of his we know about, we would like you to phone us immediately to arrange to pick up Jake. Yours very truly, [The Headmaster]. Winna shows the letter to Mike whom she has begun to rely on more and more to navigate the scary waters of interactions with the "white world". Winna, of course, remembers Judy but she is very surprised to hear that she had a son. Judy had been gone so long without any contact that she had thought that Judy was dead. So Mike and Winna hatch a plan that the two of them plus Jessie will drive to South Dakota to pick up Jake. After a long, anxious drive, they arrive at the school at Rosebud. They go immediately to the administration building and ask to see the headmaster with whom they have an appointment. They go in and are briefed about Jake and why he is being expelled from the school. Winna is shocked but Mike and Jessie are a bit more interested on hearing of Jake's activities of selling sex for money to men in town. Jake is sent for and soon arrives in the headmaster's office. He looks sullen but stares at them with glaring eyes. Winna is again shocked because Jake does look like Judy but an Indian would never be so disrespectful to stare like Jake is doing. Mike and Jessie note that he is a very handsome, muscular young man with brown skin, black hair, and warm, brown eyes. They also notice to their mild discomfort and interest that he is wearing tight jeans which shows a noticeable package between his legs. Jake notices them both glancing at his crotch and he throws them a smirk. Jake has already packed his things - not very many things the adults all notice - and they get into the car to drive back to Montana. Jake will be living in Winna's house and sleeping on the living room couch because the house has only two bedrooms. She is in one of the bedrooms and Mike and Jessie are in the other. On the drive back to Montana Jake is largely silent. He stares out the windows and wonders where his life is taking him now. He has lost his mother and now is being taken away from the only home he has ever known. Mike, Jessie, and Winna each in turn try to engage Jake in conversation but he ignores them all. Jessie momentarily considers touching Jake to pick up something of what is going on in his head but thinks the better of it. Mike, who realizes what Jessie is thinking, smiles at Jessie who quickly smiles back. Jake is enrolled in the local high school and sullenly settles into life at Winna's. The family members come to meet him but these are all strangers to him and he has no real memories of his mother, Judy, except the experiential ones that a young child would have. He does notice, however, that Mike and Jessie are a couple. He notices how they joke with each other and, of course, notes that they sleep in the same bedroom. He has never really seen two men in this kind of a relationship although he is certainly in no doubt about what they might do sexually with each other. More than anything else about his new life, it is his curiosity about Mike and Jessie that focuses his attention. As usual Jake attracts a lot of attention in his high school because of his physical attractiveness particularly including his well muscled body. When he changes into his gym outfit for class, the other boys look at Jake's naked body with envy and awe. Not only is he well muscled but he has a large looking dick and even larger, full balls. The only hair he has on his body besides his head is some little under arms but a lush growth around his dick and balls. And when he bends over to pick up something as he is dressing or undressing there are even a few boys who glance with interest at his brown rosebud. On the way home from school one afternoon a group of white boys jump Jake and several other Indian boys. Jake and his companions give them a good fight and eventually the white guys take off. However, particulary Jake, is cut and bleeding. Also one of them has kicked him in the balls causing a tear and some bleeding. Jake staggers into the house. The only one home at the time is Mike. Winna is at work and Jessie is with his grandfather for shaman training. Mike immediately jumps up and goes to help Jake. As he is assessing Jake's injuries, he asks Jake what happened. For once Jake isn't his usual sullen self and lets Mike take care of him. Mike undresses Jake and takes him into the bathroom to clean him up. He runs a bath for Jake and sits him down in the water as he begins to wash him and decide where Neosporin needs to be applied. Jake is OK with Mike washing him but when Mike notices the dried blood on his scrotum Jake suddenly gets embarrassed. However, Mike is very focused on taking care of Jake and goes ahead to lift Jake's balls aside to look at the tear. It doesn't look too bad but it does need some medicine on it. The problem is that he can't really get to the tear with Jake sitting in the tub. So, after Jake dries off, he has Jake come into the bedroom and kneel up on the bed. He tells him to spread his legs and Mike kneels down on the floor to attend to the tear in Jake's scrotum. As Mike very delicately puts on peroxide and then Neosporin, he notices Jake's butt hole almost touching his own nose. Mike is shocked at finding himself in this position and also notices that his own penis is getting hard. He continues to massage in the medicine and shifts himself closer to the bed so Jake won't notice his penis tenting the front of his pants. Jake, too, has gotten hard and Mike's jaw drops open at the gorgeous dick and balls hanging before him. It take tremendous control on his part to not reach out and touch that butt hole, that hard dick. Jake is also aware of the physical position he is in with respect to Mike. He wonders what Mike will do. Will Mike try to do something with him sexually like most other men have done in the past - with the almost sole exception of Fr. Jerry. But Mike surprises him by slapping him lightly on the butt and telling him to get his clothes on - that he's healed. 5/2/03 Luke wrote a follow-up letter: I was rushing yesterday to get Jake's story out to you before I lost my nerve and erased it. However I found a number of typo errors when I reread it last night. The last paragraph from Jake's story in yesterday's letter should read as follows: Jake is also aware of the physical position he is in with respect to Mike with his butt spread apart and right in front of Mike's face. He wonders what Mike will do. Will Mike try to do something sexual with him like most other men have done in the past - with the almost sole exception of Fr. Jerry? He almost hopes he will. But Mike surprises him by slapping him lightly on the butt and telling him to get his clothes back on - that he'll heal fine although he has to be careful to keep the area clean. Let me tell you some more things I thought about last night and driving into work this morning about Jake as follows: * Jake is a guy who longs to be loved by a man who can father him. He does not remember Miguel, his own father, and only Fr. Jerry offered him any real personal caring although Jake always felt that it was because of some spiritual impulse on Fr. Jerry's part rather than a personal love directed at Jake. And Fr. Jerry suddenly disappeared from his life with just a letter of good-bye. * One of the guys who picks Jake up for sex in town is a married doctor in his mid-30's named Karl. Karl is a responsible, "good citizen" type of guy who got his girl friend pregnant and did the "right thing" by marrying her. He now has three kids, a successful medical practice, but is increasingly aware that his always present sexual attraction to other guys is growing stronger. He knows that if he hadn't had to marry his wife he might have remained single and maybe even become gay. He now deals with his own sexual needs for other guys by paying for sex. He hopes that this will keep him from getting involved emotionally with another guy and allow him to preserve his marriage. So this is why he picked up Jake. Karl liked Jake's obviously mixed race looks. Also Jake is very handsome and masculine looking. Karl is nervous and Jake is gentle with him. After some touching, oral sex, and eventually cumming with mutual masturbation, Karl and Jake begin to talk. This leads to future encounters between the two of them including, eventually, in Karl's medical office after hours. Jake knows that Karl really likes him and he is also aware that he feels strangely drawn to Karl in a way that makes him nervous. It has always been a rule with him that he never allows himself to care for a trick. One time Karl asks Jake about his own physical health and discovers that Jake knows very little about sexual health and safety beyond never getting fucked and always using a condom. He has never been tested for HIV. So Karl arranges for Jake to come back the following day during regular business hours for a general physical exam. Karl does a blood test on Jake including an HIV test sent in anonymously. Karl seems very professional with Jake during this appointment but, given their previous contact, Jake reaches out to stroke Karl's penis through his pants and white medical jacket. Karl looks around nervously to see that the door to the examining room is closed, knows that nurses rarely interrupt him when he is with a patient, and impulsively kisses Jake on the mouth. They had never done this before. Jake is surprised but realizes that it feels wonderful. So they continue kissing and in the process of this very passionate exchange Karl whispers to Jake that he thinks he's falling in love with him. Jake is blown away by this and also by the fact that he realizes that tears have come to his eyes. He has no idea why he has begun to cry. He hasn't cried since he was a little kid and realized that his mother probably wasn't coming back. But the tears flow. Karl just holds him tightly against himself as the sobs come. (Vince - I could go on with this but you get the picture...) * At the Rosebud School Jake is one of the stars in terms of great grades, skilled athletic ability, nice personality, and because of his huge investment of time in body building has a body which all the guys envy and all the girls admire. Jake has heard about Marfan's Syndrome which is something that many Indians have. However in one of his conversations with Karl about this, it is clear that he, because of mixed race heritage, does not have it. There is a boy at school who is two years younger than Jake whom Jake has taken under his wing. Charlie is also of mixed racial descent. His mother was a full blooded Cherokee Indian and his father was Chinese. Because of his Chinese father, Charlie was of small stature and always picked on by the other boys. Maybe it was because of both of them being only 50% Indian that Jake felt protective of Charlie. Anybody who picked on Charlie had to answer to Jake. Charlie followed Jake around like a shadow. They did everything together that was possible given the fact that they were in different grades in school. Charlie was not an athlete but he was very, very smart. He had to hide this talent of his because the other kids would be jealous and he would be even more excluded than he already was. Charlie was very admiring of Jake's developing body and when Jake got fully into puberty, Charlie would ask to see and touch Jake's suddenly bigger and hairy dick and balls. Jake even allowed Charlie to get him hard and to see him ejaculate. This was a secret that Charlie and Jake had together but it bonded them even more closely. Charlie was the younger brother that Jake never had and Jake was the idolized older brother that he never had. Like Jake, Charlie had been left at the Rosebud School by his mother long ago. NOTE: BOTH OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS - WITH KARL AND WITH CHARLIE - CAN BE PICKED UP AGAIN LATER IN "NEW TO LOVE" ONCE EVERYBODY GROWS UP A LITTLE. THE SEPARATION OF JAKE FROM BOTH KARL AND CHARLIE IS VERY PAINFUL AND NEITHER OF THEM FORGETS JAKE. NOR DOES FR. JERRY WHO MIGHT WELL COME BACK ONTO THE SCENE BY SEARCHING JAKE OUT AFTER HE HAS LEFT THE PRIESTHOOD. FR. JERRY WAS A YOUNG JESUIT WHEN HE FIRST MET JAKE AND JAKE WAS STILL A BOY. SO FR. JERRY IS ONLY ABOUT TEN YEARS OLDER THAN JAKE. * At Winna's, Jake is almost overwhelmed by all the love and affection and acceptance he is getting by the immediate family and also by the tribe at large simply because he is Judy's son. He has never before experienced such family love. This is already beginning to germinate inside him and he is surprised by the very tender and new feelings he is experiencing. As he settles in, it is clear to everybody that he is beginning to act like a normal 16 year old. He becomes more playful with Mike and Jessie at home including playfully bumping his body against them both. There is something physically frail about Jessie, though, and Mike has told him to be careful with Jessie. However, Mike is not frail and Jake really enjoys physically playing around with him. For Mike's part, he has never had this experience with another guy. Because of his own history of being so withdrawn and autistic as he was growing up, he missed all this. With Jake it's almost like he temporarily regresses to a teenager himself. Jessie notices this and loves him all the more for it. Mike is loosening up in many areas including this one! * As Jake gets older, he gets a lot of attention from the girls and he is encouraged by Winna to go out on dates. He does this and even gets into some heavy petting. He realizes, though, that he is not really sexually attracted to them. Being a good actor in this regard, the girls never sense this. They just think of him as "holding himself back for the right person" and that makes him even more desirable. Only Mike, Jessie, and Winna know of Jake's activities which got him kicked out of Rosebud. Jake has actually crept back to the hallway at night and listened at the door of Jessie's and Mike's bedroom. He hears them talking, laughing, and sometimes making love. He longs to actually watch what they're doing but he doesn't dare. Maybe someday he will be able to. * After a year or so, Jake begins to more and more act on his attraction to guys. He is particularly attracted to Jessie's uncle, Running Water. There's something about an older guy that really attracts Jake. It's not just sexual although he knows that sexual attraction is part of it. But he also finds older guys, like Karl back in South Dakota, to be interesting, nurturing, and quietly loving. Maybe it's because he never really had a father that such a strong attraction occurs. He doesn't care why. He just knows that this is true. Running Water, for his part, certainly finds Jake attractive but has kept a "hands off" policy about him because of his situation. Well, Vince, I think I am going to send this off to you as it is. I feel about drained in terms of Jake at this point. I don't know what has gotten into me! I will respond more directly to your letter in my next letter which, hopefully, will either be today or over the weekend. 5/8/03 Vince Water wrote: Dear Luke, I saw how much time and effort you had made in writing about Jake. Please do not think that my lack of reply meant that I'm not interested in what you've written. I've been so busy with correcting the older parts 1-3, editing NewLove4.txt and... Wow! You have really come up with a good background for a future NtL story character - Jake. Most of your material is usable but it's mostly background information to help explain who Jake is to Mike, Jessie and the gang. What interested me more was the information outline you've provided that I can use in NtL at his current age. Even some specific scenes such as Mike tending to Jake's injuries. A thought occurs to me. Why not write a complete story (series?) about Jake's early years before he comes into NtL? At NtL part 6, Mike has YET to even move into Winna's home. Taking on a troubled teenager is not going to happen until many more story parts are written. That gives you the time to WRITE Jake's story, pass it through me (for editing only and some suggestions - it is YOUR story not subject to my authority) and then post it with the Nifty Archive! I will ask David to have your Jake story/series posted within the Native American Indian directory where my stuff is located. I really think you should write Jake's story! Think up a good pen name (the first name of Luke would be nice as that is how I knew you at the beginning of our correspondence). Think up a good story title/series title for Jake and then WRITE about him. Don't worry about not being good enough. From what I've read in your letters to me and with all that information about Jake, you can do it. Your stories should be in your own style, not mine. I'll read over your first story to make editing/comments but it is your work. Post it on Nifty so that others can enjoy it. When NtL is ready to include Jake, the readers would have read about his younger years and enhance the joining of our stories. Of course, you will have some control over events about Jake in my series so as to align to what you've written about Jake already. I realize that helping you with writing Jake's story will slow mine down but that doesn't concern me. I love to write. And an involvement in your series will be very interesting and rewarding for us both. I am going to have to reread your background about Jake again a few more times before suggesting some compatibility changes before you begin writing. Nothing major. With a good start of getting the outline correct to both our satisfaction, you'll be able to begin the story and I'll be better able to incorporate Jake into NtL. We'll work out the logistics after you have your first story written. Very exciting! Here is my word of warning. WRITING IS VERY ADDICTIVE. It can take over your life, precluding you from 'real' life activities that your partner may notice, perhaps to the detriment of your relationship. That has happened to my own relationship... sigh. Writing is a very useful vehicle for expression, especially when there's a lacking in one's own life. Fantasy comes more to life when writing a story about something that may never actual happen to you. Here are some ground-rules should we collaborate on writing together. Your Jake stories are your own, not subject to my authority. I want to help you with a compatible outline FIRST before you write Jake's story to better include him in a far future NtL story part. You have really detailed Jake's life to where he will enter NtL at sixteen years of age. That framework will help you actually write his story by filling in story details. It is a differing style/method from how I write. I try not to plan my story's goals too far in advance. Part of the fun for me in writing is that I do not know where my fingers are going to take me! Hence my mental block in finishing 'Shaman Willow Bird'. I have written the end to WB's physical body life. He will be 'reborn' within Running Wolf with his spirit and memories merging with that boy's. Anyway, I am hoping that you will 'take the plunge' and actually write Jake's story. By the time you have that started well with the posting of stories, NtL will have advanced to the point of Jake's introduction and merging with my story. Sometime later in 2003, Vince wrote: Dear Luke, Suggested corrections to your outline: Judy's family would have tried looking for her after she ran away to be with Miguel. That's expected of a close-nit Native American family and any family for their youngest member. A 'missing persons' report would have been filed with the F.B.I. (is that the correct Government agency to file with?) but because Judy was in Mexico, she would not have been located. There wouldn't have been much effort, back then. The paperwork would remain on file and eventually help Jake find his family in Havre, Montana. I agree that Judy's family would have no idea what happened to her. Her fling with Miguel in the U.S. was so sudden, and done in secret. The passing years would convince her family that she had met with foul play, never to be heard from again. Miguel's mom would have loved her daughter-in-law, especially after Judy gives her a grandson to cherish. Like Native American families, Mexican families are very close-nit. When Miguel's family attend that wedding in New Mexico, Judy comes with because she also intends to visit with her mom and dad in Havre to show them little Jake. I agree with you that her return to the U.S. makes her realize what she'd been missing and she gets away from Miguel at this time. Something happens that prevents Judy from getting to Havre. Perhaps a lack of bus money. Something then happens that puts her in that situation of living in that crack head woman's house. (She was picked up by some guy she thought would help her but instead, was drugged (crack?) and raped.) Judy, as any protective mother, could not ignore what Jake was being subjected to in that crack house but her desperate situation of needing crack would force her to tolerate it, a most agonizing guilt trip for her. Eventually, she has saved enough money (or stole it as persons on drugs can never save money) and gets an apartment of her own with Jake. She turns tricks there as you've written. Something happens to prompt Judy to take Jake to Rosebud, SD. Maybe she intends to clean up her life (from drugs) but needs Jake to be somewhere safe. Perhaps her guilt of the life she'd been leading, with Jake seeing his mom with lots of men prompts her to give Jake up so as to prevent him from following in her doomed footsteps. Jake's school life is well written. Especially when finding a much-needed father image in Fr. Jerry. I agree with you that nothing sexual happens between them. That will help Jake understand why Mike doesn't jump him in NtL. When Jake's 'secret job' is discovered by his school, they intend to discharge him as expected and that's when the information provided by Judy (school entry form) meets up with that F.B.I.'s missing persons report. Winna is given a call. Instead of having M&J and Winna going all that way down to ND, Jake flies to Great Falls, Montana (where Mike had flown in from Indiana) and he's met by M,J and Winna. It's a few hours drive from there to Havre and your scene of Jake looking out the window, feeling lost, etc. works then. I'm not sure how much information about why Jake was asked to leave the school is given to Winna. The school's admin. wants him gone but providing Winna with the sordid details about prostituting himself would not entice an aunt to come get him. I understand the importance of Winna knowing that Jake is gay and having sexual problems. She has the support of M&J to help her with this troubled teen. In any case, Jake is her baby sister's child! That alone would have Winna wanting to take Jake in. You've provided me with very good material once Jake is in Havre. I'm really thinking that Winna should not be told about why he was asked to leave the school. That way, his behavior could get 'picked up' by M&J who offer to help. End of critique (for now). If you were to write Jake's story, it would have to be in a narrative 'past tense' format instead of my favored writing style of first-person. That way, you can write Judy's story that leads to Jake's earliest years to the present time. The other way you could go would be to write in first-person format with your story beginning when Jake is in that Indian school. To explain his earlier years to your readers, they'd be as memories or bad dreams are the sharing of confidence with Fr. Jerry and/or Dr. Karl. Or you could simply flesh out the outline you've provided me about Jake, as was your original intent and wait until NtL progresses in parts until Jake comes into that series. Heed my warning to you about writing! It can be all consuming. 10/30/04 Luke wrote: JAKE'S STORY CONTINUED: BACKGROUND: I have reviewed my letters to you dated May 1 and May 2, 2003, where I talk about Jake and his life. I also have reviewed your letter to me dated May 8, 2003. So I pick up Jake's story with all this background in mind. Also I am changing things according to what you suggested. I will talk about what happens to Jake just before he leaves and when he first arrives in Montana. Hopefully Jake can tell this story later in NtTL by telling Mike, at least, about himself once he trusts him. I'm writing this in the chronological way that it happened. I am leaving it up to you to write it in narrative form and to work in parts of Jake's story as he chooses to tell them to Mike or maybe to Mike & Jessie. PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Jake is now a 16 year old adolescent of mixed Indian and Mexican background. He has dark brown hair, a very pleasant brown complexion, and his body is quite muscled from his having really worked at lifting weights and exercising to create just such a body. He arrives with shoulder length hair parted in the middle. He deliberately created more of an "Indian look" because that's what his male clients in South Dakota wanted - to have sex with an Indian boy. The one very different and striking feature about him, though, is that he has green eyes. These probably came from somewhere in his Mexican background - from the Spanish blood that is undoubtedly there somewhere in addition, of course, to the Mayan. The color of his eyes is sometimes more a light brown depending on the light and, some think, depending on his mood. He has a strong personality and tends to be a natural leader. He is about 5' 10" and has a kind of swimmer's body with muscles. He has a trace of a moustache but no other facial hair. His body is free of hair except for under his arms and a lush pubic hair. He is uncircumcised with a penis that is about 4 inches soft and about 7 inches hard. It stands straight up against his stomach almost touching his belly button when he is hard. He has large balls that hang in a sac that hangs down about as low as his cock when it is soft. His balls are slightly hairy as is his anus. His cock and balls are noticeably darker than his skin color. He was teased about this at school in the gang showers but his clients liked this. Jake was indifferent to it. It was, after all, just his body. His smile is magnetic and absolutely lights up his face and general demeanor. PERSONALITY BACKGROUND: Jake has been engaged in sexual activity from his earliest years. First in the crack head's house where he and his mother lived. Then at their own apartment in connection with his mother turning tricks. There was a brief respite when he arrived at the school in Rosebud, South Dakota, but soon he was "initiated" into sex with other students - both male and female. At around age 12 when puberty had already begun with him, he began going into town and engaging in sexual activity with men for money. Through his experiences and helpful comments from his customers, he became very good at giving these guys sexual pleasure. About the only thing he would never do is to allow anybody to fuck him. He would, however, let them play with his butt and learned that for some guys it was preferred that he not wash his anus after he had taken a shit because they liked his butt that way. For others he needed to be absolutely clean "down there". But although he was an excellent partner by the time he has to leave the school, he feels nothing when he has sex with these guys. About the closest he has come to feeling anything loving in connection with sex is with Dr. Karl. And even with him it's as if the sex and love are completely disconnected - existing on two different planes of experience. RESUMPTION OF JAKE'S STORY: Brother Tom, the Headmaster at the Rosebud School, has Jake in his office. He tells him how disappointed he is in Jake that Jake would bring some shame on the school and on the Jesuits by "being a male prostitute". He cannot believe that Jake would just throw away the Catholic values that the Jesuits have taught him since he arrived 5 years of age. "Haven't 11 years of Jesuit education meant anything to you?" Jake is both ashamed and defiant. Br. Tom tells him that he has written his aunt, Winna, in Havre, Montana, that she is his only known relative. Nobody, including Jake, has heard from his mother since she left him at the school and she is presumed to be dead. His aunt will have to take him because Jake is being expelled from the school. Br. Tom has already bought a plane ticket for Jake to Great Falls, Montana - the nearest airport to Havre. Although the school is not rich, Br. Tom wants to get Jake out of the school as soon as possible without any hassle because he is afraid of a scandal. He already had the assurance of the police that if Jake were to relocate to another state, the accuser would very likely drop the charges. So he purchases Jake's plane ticket to Great Falls out of a "dean's discretionary fund" set up by benefactors for just such an emergency. Br. Tom tells Jake that he is to pack his suitcase (some old ones brought by arriving kids of years past). Jake's head is reeling from the shock and with the prospect of being thrown out of the only family he has known since he was five years of age. Also he thinks of his younger friend, Charlie, to whom he has been a combination older brother and father figure. Earlier this day after the decision was known but not officially announced to Jake, he has told Charlie who had almost become hysterical and begged Jake to take him with him to Montana. Jake told him that he couldn't but if there was any chance in the future to have Charlie come to where he will be living, he would make it happen. He knew how much he cared for Charlie and how lost Charlie would be without him. He feared that inasmuch as he has protected Charlie, the other older boys in the school would "teach Charlie a lesson" many times over once Jake was gone. Also Jake knew that he was going to really miss Dr. Karl. He had actually begun to feel loved by Dr. Karl and would really miss him. He was not sure that he loved Dr. Karl because he wasn't exactly sure what that word "love" meant. He did know that Dr. Karl and maybe Fr. Jerry when Jake was younger were the closest things to fathers he had. He knew he had to see Dr. Karl and to say good-bye but also for another reason. Dr. Karl was holding all of Jake's money! He told Br. Tom that he wasn't feeling too good and hinted at something that he deliberately made to sound like an STD. He suggested that Dr. Karl have a look at him before he went off to his aunt in Montana. Br. Tom, not wanting to send a diseased Jake off to his aunt, agreed to call Dr. Karl and ask him to stop by the school to see Jake. When Dr. Karl arrived and they were behind closed doors, Jake flew into his arms and held him like he never wanted to let go. Dr. Karl was crying and telling him that he would find him somehow and that they would be together again. Then Dr. Karl got out an envelope with money in it. Dr. Karl had been holding Jake's hustling money for him. He now gave it back to him with a large chunk more money from himself. He would miss Jake terribly and not for the first time thought about leaving his wife and family to run off with Jake and make a life with him. As they held each other and said their good-byes, Jake slipped his hand down Dr. Karl's body and felt the old familiar hard cock through Dr. Karl's jeans. As had happened many times before, as he started to squeeze this very familiar cock for perhaps the last time, Dr. Karl moaned and began to stroke Jake's butt. Dr. Karl unbuttoned Jake's pants and Jake did the same to him. Since they were in a room at the school, both knew that this had to be quick or they risked being caught. Dr. Karl took both of their cocks in his hand and rubbed them together. As he had thought so often before since Jake had "grown up", their cocks were about the same size. Dr. Karl's was pink and circumcised. Jake's was dark with its pinkish head poking out of its wrinkled, darker covering of skin. Both were kissing and Jake could feel himself coming closer to squirting the white cum that felt so good. At the same time, though, he began to tune out and move to some other plane of consciousness as to often happened when he had sex with clients. He realized that almost every major relationship in his short life had involved sex. This "father", Dr. Karl who said he loved him had started out as his sexual client when he was 14 and their get togethers had always involved sex. His "brother", Charlie, frequently slept in Jake's bed and they held each other close. Charlie liked to try to slip Jake's cock into his butt. Sometimes they just lay there in "spoon fashion" in bed with neither of them moving and with Jake's cock either between his legs or, sometimes, inside his butt. So it is fitting that perhaps his last time with Dr. Karl involves sex. Fr. Jerry, the Jesuit priest who had befriended him at the school shortly after he arrived, was the only "father" who didn't have sex with him. He knew that Fr. Jerry was aroused by him because he had felt his cock getting hard through his cassock as he sat on his lap but as soon as that started to happen, Fr. Jerry would lift him down and immediately suggest that they do something else. This had puzzled him then because his experience with men was that if their dicks got hard, they wanted to do something sexual with him that ended with them squirting their cum. But this was "now" and he had to work to bring his mind and consciousness back to the present and focus on what Dr. Karl was doing with both their cocks or he wouldn't cum. He realized that he wanted to remember Dr. Karl and their last time together as he went into whatever future awaited him. Br. Tom took Jake to the airport and waited until he boarded the plane. This was Jake's first plane flight but he felt strangely calm. Br. Tom shook hands with him, wished him luck, and said that the Jesuit community would pray for him. Jake thanked him and got on board. Although his first flight, it was uneventful for Jake because his head was still spinning by all this happening so rapidly. First the humiliation of being discovered in terms of his hustling activity. Then the injustice of being accused of robbing one of his tricks. Then the indignity and hurt of Br. Tom and the other Jesuits. Then the discovery that he had an aunt in Havre, Montana, and that he was being sent to her almost whether she liked it or not. It was all too much. Jake felt numb. Winna, back in Havre, had received Br. Tom's letter about Jake's expulsion from the Rosebud School and the fact that he was being put on a plane and sent to her as his only known relative. She was stunned to realize that her baby sister, Judy, had a son who was now 16 years old. She also wondered what had happened at the school to get Jake expelled from it after being there for 11 years. And why, if the school knew about her, hadn't they contacted her before this? This was a lot for Winna to deal with all at once. She talked with Mike and Jessie about going to Great Falls with her to pick up Jake. They offered to go by themselves but she insisted that she come alone also although they did not have a vehicle that could comfortably transport more than three people inside it. In truth she was so excited to meet Judy's son that she simply couldn't wait until the boys returned with Jake to Havre. Also she felt that at his aunt, she needed to go there to officially welcome him back into the family. And she just wanted to lay eyes on him! So it was agreed that she and Jessie would drive up in her truck and Mike would follow in his. On the way back, Jake would drive back with Mike. It was a lot of driving being about two hours each way between Great Falls and Havre but Winna could not think of another way to do this. The three of them were waiting just outside the security area inside the airport terminal when the passengers from Jake's plane started arriving. When he stepped into view, Winna knew exactly who he was because he looked achingly like her sister, Judy. Tears started forming in her eyes immediately. Jessie, as was his wont, remained slightly behind Winna shyly peeking around her. Mike, though, was looking directly at Jake and smiling warmly. Jake spotted them also and from their reaction to him, he knew that it was his aunt and two young guys. He knew nothing about his mother's family so he had no idea if Winna had a husband or children. He guessed he would find out. He had a momentary thought of just running out of the airport and taking a cab into Great Falls. He knew that he had enough money with him that he wouldn't starve and he knew how to make money with his body. After all, he was 16 and many people go out on their own at this age. Still... he had never even seen any of his family on either side since he was a very young boy. Here, in front of him, was his mother's older sister - the older sister who had practically raised his mother and who was always her protector. Judy had talked often about Winna when Jake was very young and when Judy would get nostalgic about her Indian family. He knew that he needed and wanted to meet these people and get to know his family - at last! Winna comes up to him first, gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and says "Welcome, Jake, to the family. I cannot tell you how glad I am to meet you and to know that my baby sister had a son and that he has grown as big and handsome as you are!" She smiled and Jake smiled back feeling warm all over. Winna introduced him to her son, Jessie, and his "friend" Mike. Jake had always had a way of knowing certain things about people without their having told him and he sensed right away the connection between Mike and Jessie. He wondered if his aunt knows about that. Jessie looked shy and somewhat unfriendly but Jake knew that he could win him over. He had a great confidence in his own personality to do that if he wished. But Mike was another story. Mike looked directly at Jake and although Jake was looking back and forth between Jessie and his aunt as Winna was talking to him, he was aware of Mike's gaze on him. He did not know why, but he instinctively felt that Mike was somebody that maybe he could eventually trust. He also realized that he had checked out their packages as he looked at each of them and he thought that at least Mike had checked him out. This was going to be interesting. Winna told him about the plans for him to drive back to Havre with Mike in his truck and that she and Jessie would drive back in hers. They said that at least for the time being Jake would live with them and that he was welcome. She suggested that they get some lunch in the airport restaurant before setting out for Havre. Also, Winna thought but did not say that she was very curious about Jake and wanted to talk to him a bit before the long drive back. They settled around a table, for four, and ordered hamburgers, fries, and cokes. Winna asked Jake how long ago he has seen his mother and Jake told her a very edited version of his childhood memories of living with Judy. He knew from the social worker at Rosebud School who had interviewed Judy and done a detailed social history with her that his father's family lived in Mexico and that he had been born there although his father and mother had never married. He talked about coming to the US when he was quite young and that his mother and he lived in various places. He did not say anything about what his mother did to earn a living or anything about the living conditions. Winna seemed satisfied with what he was saying but he felt that Jessie and Mike both thought that there was more. Jake was going to have to be careful of them in terms of something slipping out that he didn't want. Winna asked him about the Rosebud School and remarked how wonderful it was of the Jesuits to keep him for eleven years with no money being paid for his upkeep. Jake told them that he got a good education and was in the 10th grade when he was expelled. This led, naturally, to Winna asking very delicately and indirectly why he was expelled. Jake knew from the questioning of him that Br. Tom had not told her about his hustling and being accused of robbing a client. So he told her that he had been in several fights at school and the Jesuits had finally had it with him. Again, Winna seemed to accept this at face value but the look that Jake saw pass between Mike and Jessie let him know that they weren't buying this story either. Throughout the lunch Jessie did not say a thing. He would look at Jake but whenever Jake would glance at him, Jessie would look down. Even when it came to ordering lunch, Winna and Mike together ended up ordering for Jessie. Jake knew that Jessie was Winna's only child and thought that he was probably in high school himself. Mike, however, was right in there with Winna in terms of asking him questions. He looked at Jake rather intensely and Jake felt a surge of energy that he recognized as partly sexual. Of the three of them, Mike was the one who really interested him. As lunch went on, Jake withdrew into an adolescent surliness sometimes but at other times was charming and smiling. Also during this lunch when Winna talked about sleeping arrangements, she mentioned that Jake would be sleeping in the laundry room because there were only two bedrooms in the house and she was in one and Mike & Jessie were in the other. So, thought Jake, I guess these two guys are a couple after all. And clearly Aunt Winna accepts that. This is indeed going to be an interesting family to live in! So Mike and Jake piled Jake's suitcase in the back of Mike's truck and the four of them set off for Havre. The two trucks followed each other down the highway and Jake settled into a thoughtful silence as he looked out the window at the Montana landscape passing by. Mike was inclined to let him be with his thoughts for a while. This kid is only 16 years old and suddenly he is thrown out of where he has lived for 11 years and into a family that he didn't, until a week ago, even know he had. The kid must be reeling. In truth, Jake was reeling. He found himself missing the familiarity of Rosebud School and of his friends there. He wondered how Charlie is doing and in his heart repeated the promise to Charlie that if it were humanly possible, he would somehow get Charlie to come to live with this family. And then he thought of Dr. Karl. Even though he started out as one of Jake's sexual clients and even though they always had some kind of sex for money whenever they were together, he knew that Dr. Karl really cared for him. It was with Dr. Karl that Jake had allowed himself to cry when Dr. Karl told him that he thought that he loved him and also when he was saying good-bye to Dr. Karl yesterday. Jake, normally as hard as a rock emotionally, trusted this man enough to let himself be vulnerable and emotional. He wondered what life was going to be like in this family. Aunt Winna seemed like a very nice lady and he knew that she had loved his mother. He wondered about Mike and Jessie. Were they going to expect him to have sex with him? He didn't know but if that were the case, he certainly knew how to handle himself sexually with them. But what intrigued him about them is wondering if there was more between them than just sex. He knew all about sex. He was very, very good at having sex with guys (and even some girls) thought he was a wonderful lover. He was able to put guys at ease sexually and he had a lot of repeat customers. However, he always longed for more. Although he didn't really understand it, he longed to love and be loved. Only later through living with this family and with the help of Mike and Jessie would Jake be able to understand what he was longing for. As Jake thought about Dr. Karl and about Charlie especially, he realized that among other things, he was feeling the beginnings of arousal. He knew without looking down at himself or touching it, that his cock was getting hard. Oh, God... he thought, I don't want Mike to see this. I don't want to deal with sex right now and certainly not with this guy who is part of this new family who is taking me in. Jake was pulled out of his reverie by Mike who asked him how he was doing. He gave the expected answer of "just fine". Then he turned away from the window to look at Mike. Mike glanced back at him and then turned his eyes to the road. He did not think that Mike had noticed his cock getting hard. Anyway, as he brought himself back to the present, he was quickly getting softer. Mike looked like an OK guy to Jake and he wondered if he could trust Mike. Again, his instincts told him that he could. So he took a risk and told Mike that the leaving of Rosebud School had been sudden and he was really missing his friends. Mike's gentle questions gradually drew Jake out somewhat. Jake told him about his mother just leaving him with the Jesuits and never returning. Jake had no idea if she was alive or dead. Mike seemed to understand the pain that Jake was expressing and didn't feel a need to offer any advice or criticism. He just encouraged Jake to talk some more. Jake talked about Fr. Jerry, the Jesuit priest who had been like a father to him and who had suddenly been sent someplace else by his Order and had to say good-bye in a letter. Fr. Jerry had promised to come back to see Jake but had never done so. And Jake told Mike about Charlie. He talked with such feeling that Mike commented that it was almost like leaving your brother behind. Jake turned to Mike full face and said "Exactly! That's exactly what it feels like! Charlie had sobbed as we were saying good-bye and I also wanted to take him with me. I wonder if I'll ever see him again. And I wonder if he's going to be OK." Mike asked Jake if Charlie had any family and Jake said that he didn't think so. Mike stored this piece of information to think over later. Then Jake began to talk about Dr. Karl. Of course, Jake did not say anything about their sex-for-money relationship but he did talk a bit about how good friends they had become. He told Mike that Fr. Jerry and Dr. Karl both were like the father that he never really knew. He hoped that he could see Dr. Karl again. The thing that Jake said nothing about and that Mike wondered about was Jake's sexuality. Mike guessed, just looking at Jake, that he had been sexually active. He had a discernable sexual aura about him. But, then again, he lived in a Catholic boarding school run by Jesuits. Maybe no sexual activity went on. Mike knew the reputation that boarding schools have of boys having sex with each other without the adults in charge knowing. He'd have to get Jake talking about this later once Mike felt that the situation was ripe for that further degree of confidence. Mike did clearly pick up from comments that Jake made that he understood the nature of his relationship with Jessie and seemed OK with it. Mike sensed that maybe Jake might want to ask something more about it but just didn't know him well enough to do so. As they approached Havre, Jake grew silent again. Jake, for his part, felt greatly unburdened by having shared this with Mike but also felt exposed. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut! Well, he had to see what Mike did with the information. He guessed that Mike would tell Jessie what they had talked about but he hoped he wouldn't be so sharing with Winna - at least not just yet. He wondered if they would ever find out about the real reason why he was expelled. And if/when they did, what would he do then? Would they throw him out too? As Jake and Mike walked into the house which Jake would call home for the foreseeable future, he knew that he was stepping into a new chapter in his life. Ok, Vince, how is this? I know that you are writing in the first person with Mike as the narrator. I don't exactly know how to get this material about Jake into the narrative of NtTL but I hope that you can. As I said in the beginning of this letter, I think that it could come out as Jake gradually tells his story to Mike, Jessie, and Winna. As he begins to feel more at home and learns to trust particularly Mike and Jessie, it is reasonable that he will begin to open up. After all, Jake is a bright guy and he has never had the chance to "tell his story" and try to make sense of his life experiences up to this point. My own thought is that Mike could well serve as a kind of mentor, older brother, and pseudo-psychotherapist. Mike and Jake will have lots of time together since Jessie will be in Shaman training and away from home a lot. Winna will depend on Mike to "take Jake under your wing" and help him get adjusted. Also Winna senses that Jake is a complicated kid with "big city ways" that are a bit beyond her. It is with Mike that Jake will really bond. It is very likely that Mike could share some of his own experiences of realizing how attractive he is to Jessie when they first met in the classroom and how he has grown in those feelings over time. Jake, of course, is at the polar opposite of where Mike is. For Jake, sex has been either aggressive or violent (older boys at school sticking their dicks in his mouth and fucking him), playful (friends at school who get together in private or in the showers to get their dicks hard and see who can cum first), for money (the sexual clients he met in town starting when he was 12), but not yet for love. Since Jake's total experience with other guys has always included sex in some fashion, it would not be surprising that he and Mike would do some sexual things together too. For Jake, this would feel very familiar. And here I am thinking of showing each other their cocks. Maybe masturbating themselves in front of each other. You know - the kinds of things that adolescents might do at a boarding school. There is little danger that sex would equal love for Jake because it never has. This is precisely the problem. Sex and feelings of love are completely separated. Although the Jesuits took good care of his body and spiritual needs when he was at the school, he never really experienced the kind of love that one feels in a loving family. So the love that he will experience with and from Mike, Jessie, and Winna will be very new to him. He will distrust it at first probably sometimes reject it before he begins to let it in. You wondered, Vince, if Jake was only attracted to white guys. I don't think so. In "town" where he sold his body to men, there probably would have been all sorts of men - young, old, white, Indian, Black, Mexican, short, tall, heavy, thin, and so forth. He learned that most men no matter what they looked like physically had something attractive about them or inside them. It was that which allowed Jake to connect with them. And the men sensed this because Jake had a number of "regulars" who ended up talking to him as much as having sex with him as time went on. Jake felt, in some way, that he was helping them in this way. This is almost parallel to the Indian values in some of your earlier stories of a man making himself available to another man in need. What Jake is particularly attracted to, though, are older men. He is longing for a "father" who will love him for himself and not just for what he can do for him sexually. This lack of a father has branded Jake's psyche and, like it or not, he will unconsciously seek this out. It may be, for instance, that he will find himself powerfully attracted to Running Water who is older enough to be seen as a kind of father figure who is also gay. Although Jake has had sex with both males and females (at school with some of the girls in the girl's section of Rosebud School and, also, once with a woman who picked him up in town for sex-for-money). Being young, he can easily get aroused and probably have sex with almost anybody. However, without explicitly realizing it, he knows that he is really attracted to men. Being so masculine and, in the past year, so muscular, he was hit on by girls a lot. Just before he was expelled, it was getting to be a hassle for him to fend them off without actually telling them that he was really attracted to guys. Everybody at the school knew that he had sex with other boys and some of the girls. This was more true of most of the other students there than not. So it was nothing unusual. Nobody thought of him as gay. He was just Jake who was well hung and loved to have sex with others. Ironically, the sexual morality of the Catholic Church though the Jesuits completely by-passed the kids in their care although the Jesuits didn't really know that. They had a tolerance for a certain amount of sexual experimentation among the students as "boys will be boys". Had they known the extent of this sexual contact, they would have been horrified and shocked. Well, enough of this. Please give me some feedback on this. 3/24/2005 Vince wrote: If you're still willing, I'd like to get your character entered into NtTL. As things are laying out in my head right now, Winna gets a message about her long lost nephew Jake on her answering machine on Monday after their shopping expedition (for a desktop computer) in the afternoon after the morning's brief court session. (Winna exchanged her work day from Monday to Tuesday so she could attend it with Jessie). At work on Tuesday, Winna gets in contact with Jake's school and arrangements begin for her to assume guardianship over the boy. Mike has a truck now (needed when they both drive to the airport) and the laundry room has since been cleaned out of the husband's construction materials put into the garage. You see. I have been getting Jake's arrival prepared. Again, I really need you to write a brief for me so I can get a handle on Jake's personality and reaction to meeting Winna, M&J at the airport. What is he thinking and how he carries himself in front of them at the airport, eating lunch there and that 90 minute drive back to Havre where Jake rides with M&J while Winna returns home alone in her truck. She agrees to let the 'boys' get to know each other first and wants Mike's special ability to Glean what he can from Jake and for Jessie to peer into his head when they touch, though Jake shares this ability in a small way and he can shield himself from Jessie's peeking. Anyway, you really need to write this first encounter for me. Not a story, per say. Just a bunch of statements like: * Jake meets the three at the arrival gate. A plump Indian woman (his aunt) who hugs him while M&J shake his hand. This is what Jake feels about meeting them: blah blah blah, his first impressions and what he reveals to them by his face and body language. * When they eat lunch at the airport and Jake is questioned by Winna about her sister, what happened to her and about Jake's life alone at that school, Jake says: blah blah blah and he feels blah blah blah. In the drive back home, Jake looks out his window like a displaced soul but when Jessie touches him he blah blah blah and when Mike asks him some questions (what would they be?) he answers blah blah blah. Reaching the house, his 'room' is set up in the laundry room and Winna gets her fierce round of questioning the poor boy where Jake acts blah blah blah. Get the idea of what I need from you? From your past notes, I know what Jake has gone through but that doesn't help me with how he'll feel with Winna, M&J now in this new setting. Simple statements from you about Jake's reactions, thinking process and such are needed. You work in this profession by helping troubled kids so present me with a troubled Jake who's been displaced from the only stable life he's known at that school. Please! Begin this now as my writing parts for NtTL will quickly reach Jake's introduction at the airport. I can avoid directly writing an account of Winna's talk with Jake on the phone by having Winna return home from work Tuesday where she gives an summary of what was said. Any pointers you can give me about what Jake would say to an aunt he's never known on the phone will help with that part of the story. Thanks. 4/12/05 Luke wrote: Here's my first "Jake Letter" to you with new material that you've requested recently. I thought I was going to write this tomorrow when I have more time but I realized that I've been thinking about Jake a lot particularly on my drive to work and then home. So I thought I would use my lunch time today to put things down on paper. I feel frustrated because I know that I've already sent you some suggestions about what might happen when Jake arrives at the airport in Great Falls, Montana, meets Winna and the guys, has lunch with them, and then on the drive back. But I can't locate what I've already written to you. I looked through all the letters that I've sent but didn't spot anything. I'm guessing that the material is just imbedded in another letter and I couldn't readily locate it. TRANSFER OF GUARDIANSHIP OF JAKE: I talked with my colleague, who is a clinical social worker and was involved in her earlier career with foster care and adoptions. She said that there may be different "rules" for the Indian Nations in this matter but if this were occurring according to normal U.S. rules, there would be three possibilities as follows: 1. Transfer of guardianship: This is the most likely thing that would occur. When Judy brought Jake to the Rosebud School, they would have had her sign a document transferring guardianship of Jake to the school. This would have had to be done in the South Dakota court but if the school did this a lot - and I'm assuming that they did - the process would have been very routine. So at this point, eleven years later, the South Dakota court would have to now transfer the guardianship over to Winna. My colleague said that it is also likely that the Montana court would have to "sign off" on this since both Winna and Jake would be residing in Montana however it is possible that the transfer to Winna by the South Dakota court would be enough. I think for the purposes of this story, this would be OK. 2. Adoption: My colleague said that given Jake's age of 16 years and the fact that it is not proven that Judy is dead and nobody would know how to contact Jake's father in Mexico, adoption is not really an option. He will be legally an adult at age 18 and that's only two years away. So this is not something that would be done. 3. Emancipated Minor: This is done in the case of a minor under age 18 who is "emancipated" by the court to allow him to live on his own. He would be legally an adult even though he is not yet 18. This would also mean that he would not be legally under Winna's control either and I do not think that would be a good thing. Also Jake is not ready to move out on his own. So this is not realistic. So the most realistic possibility is transfer of guardianship. That would need to be done in the South Dakota court and the Rosebud School authorities could probably arrange for this. My colleague said that how it would happen is that Winna would have to agree to guardianship. Then she or someone who could act on her behalf (Mike?) would have to travel to South Dakota, appear in court, and have the guardianship transferred. The court would have originally assigned guardianship to the Rosebud School. Now the school would go back to court along with Winna to request a transfer of guardianship. Again, it is possible that Winna would then have to go to a court in Montana with her paperwork from South Dakota to make the guardianship "official" in Montana but that would be up to you whether you wanted it this complicated or not. My colleague said that what would go along with Jake would be a school history (grades and courses taken), an official school transcript (Jake would need this to enroll in his new school in Montana), and a social work report outlining Jake's history in terms of how he got to the school, how he did there including medical and disciplinary history, what is known of his parentage, and a discharge summary stating why he is leaving the school. This would definitely go to the court but Winna, once she got guardianship, would have the right to all this information. Also it is likely that Winna would have received a letter telling her that Jake has to leave the school and asking that she accept responsibility for him as "next of kin". It is likely that Judy would have been required to list a "next of kin" when she left Jake at the school. At that point, if she named Winna, she would have given her address as wherever she thought Winna was living at the time - probably at home. She wouldn't have known a current phone number. Maybe the school sent the letter about Jake to Winna with general delivery to "Blackfoot Reservation, Havre, Montana" and it found its way to Winna that way. Maybe she would call the school and find out the details. They might request her to come to the school to do the legal stuff necessary to get guardianship for Jake and then take him with her back to Montana. Maybe she would feel overwhelmed by all this and ask Mike to act on her behalf, fly to South Dakota, be briefed by the school about what happened, get the various reports, go to court to execute the change of guardianship to Winna, and then bring Jake back to Montana with him. Obviously Winna would have to do some legal document to give to Mike to give him the right to represent her temporarily for this matter. Since you've done that with several people in CA when dealing with several things, Vince, you probably know how this might be done. So my thought is that Mike would agree to this, drive to the airport in Great Falls, and fly to South Dakota. Mike's doing this would allow the story to reveal some of Jake's background and his present behavior as Mike hears it at the school. Also Mike may talk with Dr. Karl as a way of getting information on Jake current medical condition (he's very healthy!), the school's social worker to get his history and background, and maybe to meet Charlie. Mike would Gease, of course, that Dr. Karl felt very deeply for Jake and also sense Charlie's love and adoration of Jake. Both Dr. Karl and Charlie would be almost in despair at the prospect of losing Jake; Mike would, of course, pick this up. So Mike is getting both a "content reality" connection with Jake but is also picking up the nuances and deeper meanings about what is not being said but is being felt. Once Mike has met these guys, it is possible in a future story part that either or both of them might come to see Jake in Havre. Maybe Charlie could eventually move into "Winna's youth hostel" and become one of the young guys being taken care of by Mike and Jessie. Maybe Dr. Karl would, once Jake is a little older, divorce his wife and come to Montana to find him. I suggested in an earlier discussion of this that I think that Jake may well be a guy who ultimately loves an older man. It would make sense given never really having had a father for all intents and purposes. Dr. Karl certainly loves him and Jakes loves him back although he isn't completely aware of it yet. I'll leave it up to the "master" to decide how this may work itself out although it would certainly be a boon for the tribe to have another white guy join them as the lover/husband/partner of one of their members and who is also a medical doctor. This would give Mike the chance to see where Jake had lived for eleven years and also to at least briefly see Jake in his "home environment". Maybe the social worker would tell Mike "off the record" what they discovered that Jake was into in terms of selling himself sexually to older men whereas they wouldn't want to put that in writing in the record both for Jake's sake and also for the school's sake. Then Mike would have the flight back to Montana to talk with Jake as well as Gease what's really going on inside of him. And Jessie would be kept up on what's going on through their Connection. The Connection would work even at that great a distance, wouldn't it? Winna and Jessie could be waiting at the Great Falls airport to greet Jake and Mike, go to lunch, and drive back. Or, Mike could just drive back with Jake to Winna's where there would be a meal and visiting waiting. One more thing that my colleague said is that it sounded to her when I described some of Judy's history just before Jake went to Rosebud School was that she would wonder if Jake had "fetal alcohol syndrome". That would occur if Judy was drinking heavily during her pregnancy. I told her that Judy wasn't since she would have been living with Miguel's family in Mexico during her pregnancy. And of course once she turned to prostitution, alcohol, and drugs in CA before she took Jake to Rosebud School, that would have affected her but would not have physically affected Jake. My colleague also said that the social worker at the school would have strongly recommended psychotherapy for Jake when he got to Montana. In fact, it probably would have been a formal recommendation in the discharge summary. However, given what Mike and Jessie are planning with Simon, Jake, and maybe Brian and Charlie, that may be the "healing" that Jake needs. How Jake will be when he goes to Winna: Jake is a sixteen year old, muscular, bright, handsome boy of mixed racial background. He is half Blackfoot and half Mexican. He was essentially abandoned by his mother whom he probably believes is dead. Fr. Jerry also suddenly left him when he was transferred by his Jesuit Order to some other assignment. He is being yanked away from Dr. Karl who had begun to open up in Jake his first stirrings of love. And he has to leave Charlie whom he loves and protects as a younger brother. Charlie is also of mixed racial background being half Cherokee and half Asian. He will be really upset but probably hiding it underneath an adolescent facade of indifference. Mike, through his ability to see inside a person, would realize this duality and it would draw him to Jake. Although the school would tell Mike about what happened, they would probably also be quite positive about Jake. In fact, my colleague said it is "disgraceful" that they would so summarily dump Jake from the only home he's really ever known. She said that it verges on the unethical. Jake will probably not be particularly sharing of what has happened with Mike. Since Jake has something of this ability to read somebody else, he would know that Mike is an honest guy and also pick up something of the same sex issues. At this point he would not know about Mike's and Jessie's relationship nor really understand why Mike is Winna's representative in dealing with all this. You would have to come up with some way that Mike would eventually tell Jake about Jessie and Mike's relationship with Jessie. Maybe that could occur on the flight back to Montana or on the drive from Great Falls to Havre. First meeting Winna: Whenever it is that Jake first meets Winna - whether at the airport or when he gets to her house - he is going to be both wary of her and also probably quite emotional. After all, this is Judy's sister who helped raise her. He would have remembered his mother talking about Aunt Winna. Maybe Winna physically resembles how he remembers his mother. This is the first blood family members that he has ever met. So maybe as Winna hugs him and welcomes him to their house, he will feel tears coming to his eyes - tears that he will try to suppress because he doesn't want to show weakness to these folks. Also he would feel angry. "Why did it take this long for you to come get me?" he might think. At this point Winna would have to tell him what Mike has probably already said - namely that she didn't even know that Judy had a son until she got the letter from the Rosebud School about him. They would probably both ask each other if either had heard anything about Judy. The answer, alas, is "no". Jake's first conversation with Winna: Whether this occurs over lunch at the airport or at home, Jake would very likely give a truthful but very sanitized version of life at the school for him. He would truthfully tell of his early days at the school. Mike would have known whatever was in the social work report. Winna would start up with her relentless questioning of Jake. Maybe Jake would begin to share something of his life with his mother in CA and how things were going but maybe not. He would probably feel ashamed of that part of his background but fiercely protective of his mother. Maybe Winna or somebody else might make a bad comment about Judy's behavior before she took him to Rosebud School and Jake would flare up in his mother's defense: "She did the best she could. She took good care of me. She loved me. You don't understand how tough things were." Winna would eventually tell Jake that he would be staying in the laundry room which Mike and Jessie have gotten ready for him. She would also probably talk about needing to get him registered in school. He would be in the 10th grade- maybe about halfway through. His school transcript from the Rosebud School show that he got very good grades although several teacher's comments indicate that he is a smart but not motivated student. Also, of course, Jake would have meet Grandfather. Winna might tell Jake that Mike and Jessie will be helping him learn the ropes in terms of living in their house although Mike would take the lead on this because Jessie would be busy with "shaman training" since Grandfather may not have too much time to live. I'm guessing that Simon would also be there and they are the same age. Jake's mental state: Jake is probably pretty resilient psychologically. After all, he's had to survive a lot. He will quickly adapt to life at Winna's and at his new school. However, he will eventually deal with his sex-for-money behavior in conversations with Mike and Jessie or with Mike alone and then communicated to Jessie through the Connection. Jake will really be grieving for both Dr. Karl and Charlie but won't realize that this is exactly what he is feeling. Rather he will just be depressed and irritable. Mike, because he can know what's going on inside Jake, will be able to help him with this by getting him to talk about Dr. Karl and about Charlie - maybe even holding him as he cries about this. Jake will be stunned by these tender feelings because he has spent most of his life defending himself against feeling "weak" like this. He will have a lot to learn in terms of "learning to love". Jake and Simon: Of course, with Jake on the scene, Simon now has another guy of his same age who knows a whole lot about sex with another guy. I don't know exactly how they would get to that with each other - I'll leave that up to the "master's imagination" - but it would be exactly what Simon longs for. And it wouldn't be illegal because both are sixteen years of age! Jake will at first be defensive about his sex-for-money past behavior ("I had to do it. I needed the money. Nobody got hurt.") but may also realize that he had no emotions connected with having sex except what he was just beginning to feel with Dr. Karl. Jake will be a guy who probably longs just to be held although he might not admit it because it seems weak. Maybe it is just this kind of nonsexual physical, tender contact that Mike and Jessie can legitimately offer him. Jake will not be able to put together sex and love for quite a while and not until he has really grown through his own background. OK. This enough for now. I think I've given you some thoughts about what you asked in terms of Jake's arrival in Montana. Let me know if you want some more reflections from me on any of this and, if so, please direct me with specific questions. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of file: JAKEOUT1.TXT My correspondence with Luke continues Folder: A-STORY-OUTLINE-FOR-JAKE in JAKEOUT2.TXT