************************************************************************** * "NEW TO LOVE" * * (part 15) * * by Vince Water 4/04 * ************************************************************************** | Copyright 2002-2006 by Vince Water Corrected 3/06 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Our ride to Chinook is in silence. Jesse doesn't Think much to me though I'm catching a few things he's worryin' about in his head. He don't want my lawyer learnin' anythin' more about that Power Bundle; how its spirit has been Passed into us, why grandfather surrendered it to the police or that we suspect Eli Kie has stolen it and used Good-eyes' flint blade that was inside to murder Lieutenant Danielson. Mr. Talbert has helped members of our tribe with their legal troubles but he's still an outsider, not privy to the things I've witnessed. Some of which is magical. Scary stuff! Two weeks ago, I didn't believe in ghosts, telepathy or Indian mysticism. I sure do now. I'd seen movies about Indians where a shaman Calls upon the aid of their Great Spirit to protect the People from evil. Sometimes this was done through pain rites to appease their God. 'The Return of A Man Called Horse' comes to mind. John Morgan was an Englishman captured by the Yellow Hand Tribe who learned their ways in the first movie. In the sequel, he partook of their Sun Dance. It's a rite of pain where the men stuck sharpened bones through their breasts held by thongs tying them to a central pole. They blew on whistles (instead of crying out in pain) when leaning back to pull them taunt and finally ripping them out. It was done to draw pity from the Great Spirit upon the People suffering from an evil spirit. Their Sun Dance was performed to restore them in good graces with their God. As Mike, I didn't really believe all that Indian mysticism. Those were just ignorant savages. That Englishman had thought so too yet he joined them in the Sun Dance because he recognized that the power of belief alone would restore the tribe's will to live. And it did. Both that Englishman and I have passed through a sacred rite of pain. My breast bears similar wounds. I'm a believer now in things beyond what my eyes can see because I now See with my heart. That's the change in me. I'm no longer an ignorant white man. :Yes, love. Your feet have joined ours to walk upon a sacred path in life.: I peer at Jesse. There's a knowing expression on his face that fills me with awe. Yes. I'm leavin' behind who I was as Mike to become Short Hair, a true human being who listens to his heart. I give my lover a smile. He smiles back then shuts his eyes in pain. I'm groaning out when a strong Pulling comes from my head. It leaves me feeling dazed. That's Jes drawing on my strength to keep him out here in the real world. When sight returns to my eyes, I catch something strange in my lover's eyes. Something that's not him. My stomach squeezes with fear. :Don't let him take you over!: Jes doesn't respond so I violently shake him. "What's wrong?" Winna gasps. She pulls her pickup over to the side of the road and squeals to a stop. "I'm alright," Jesse whispers. :Are you really?: I Ask. My eyes search for a sign that Jes is still himself and not taken over by shaman Good-eyes. :My former self is trying to...: In old Siksika, "Leave him be! You've already had a long life, Inspired One. Allow Jes-ee-ah to live his!" I see the startled look from Winna. She brings her son's head against her breast and shoos him. Anger blares from the woman's face for me. "Mike wasn't yelling at me." Jes said that so softly that I barely caught his Siksika words. Winna's eyes soften. "Mother. Your uncle told you what has been happening to us?" I'm reluctant to explain who I was really yelling at. Winna slowly nods. She strokes over his son's hair to calm him. A black pickup truck pulls over in front of us. An Indian jumps out and runs to Winna's door. I recognize him. "Is there anything wrong?" asks Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand. "My son has fallen sick," Winna answers. "Will you be heading home?" Jesse pulls from his mother's arms. "We don't need to. I'm better now. Really! We have to meet with Mike's lawyer." I see Winna looking hard at Jesse. Her eyes then fall on me. "Okay. If you think you're still up to it." "I am, mom. There's no need for concern." I can tell that Winna doesn't believe that. She thanks Dirt-brought-up- in-his-hand who returns to his pickup. We're driving past him on the highway to Chinook. I don't need to look back to know that he's following behind us. He must have been followin' our tracks since we left home this mornin'. Jesse slumps against me. I bring my left arm around him while trying to ignore his mother's glaring. She returns to concentrating on the road. "Mike. I didn't know you could speak in the old tongue." Winna is really asking me why I'd yelled at her son. I clear my throat. "Shaman He-who-runs-up-mountains has told you what ails your son?" Winna gives me a troubled glance. I think she knows. Jes speaks up. "Mike was protecting me from him." "Oh, Jes-ee-ah! What am I to do?" "It's alright, mom. Grandfather is finding someone who'll help me. Don't be mad at Mike because it's not what you think. I'm drawing on him for support through our Connection. He was yelling at my former self not to come out." I think Winna wants to ask us more about that but she remains silent. A turn is taken from the highway that brings us into Chinook. We drive through town. After a few more turns, we enter an upscale residential neighborhood. She parks in front of Mr. Talbert's house behind a police car. My stomach tightens with fear. I look out my window to see a uniformed officer leaving the house with two men. One of them is an Indian. It's Hawk-swooping-down. He's followed by a black man with a camera hanging down from his neck. A fancy one like reporters use. I'm startled by a squealing of tires. A black pickup stops in the street beside ours. Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand gets out and walks over to the police car to confront those men. "What's going on?" Winna asks. "I don't know. Ah. Let's wait in the truck until they leave." I'm not up to being interviewed by another reporter. The policeman gets into his car. The black reporter sits in the passenger seat while Hawk-swooping-down greets Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand. They talk for a moment. I notice Mr. Talbert coming up to my door. He gestures for me to get out but before I do so, I'm turning to Winna. She reveals fright in her face. The police car in front of us takes off. I open my door. Jesse gets out with me. "I'll wait here," says Winna. "Hello, Mike." Mr. Talbert shakes my hand assuredly then he offers it to Jesse who is slow to shake hands coming from his shyness. "Let's go inside." I gesture to where the police car had been parked. Dirt-brought-up-in- his-hand is driving his pickup into that spot. "Oh, that. Mr. Wentworth is going to the station to submit his statement about the photographs he'd taken last night. He's the private investigator I've hired on your behalf. Something has happened. Ah. I'll tell you once we're in the house." So. That black man isn't a reporter. The tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck. In a flash, I know what he's taken photographs of. It leaves me with a feeling of dread for Miss Thomas. :Mike! You've Seen something?: I'm violently nodding my head but I can't Tell Jesse about it yet. We follow Mr. Talbert into the house. I'm feeling stunned. This isn't the first time that I've known things without being told like when Danielson was hiding in Winna's house and I knew he was about to storm out with his gun drawn and when I knew that Winna was given the name and address of her husband's attorney from her title company so that we can try finding out where Jesse's dad is. A startling thought strikes me. Jes didn't See these things. I did. Even before that spirit from the bundle had Passed into us to grant us special abilities such as Mind Speaking. A burning sensation comes from my stomach. Man, it hurts bad! I'm trying to rub the pain away while following them down the hall. I gotta stop worrin' so much or I'll get an ulcer. Jesse takes his seat. Rows of bookshelves line this room. I'm noticing where we are and drop into a chair before Mr. Talbert's cluttered desk. Our eyes go to the man when he clears his throat. "I'd like both of you to look at some photographs," asks Mr. Talbert. I'm given a set to share with Jesse. We peer at the first one, a color photo that's nearly the size of a sheet of paper. There's a man with a backpack walking up the sidewalk to a house. I think I recognize him. A quick glance at the other photos prove he's a half-breed Indian. Someone Jes and I have run into before. "He looks like Eli Kie," gasps Jesse. "It is." We both glare at Mr. Talbert for an explanation but I already suspect what he's gonna tell us. That Trickster has murdered again. "Jesse. Can you swear in court that this is the same man who attacked you outside Mike's trailer." In a low voice, "I can." "And you, Mike?" "Yes. It's him." Mr. Talbert has more photos for us to look at. These show Eli Kie leaving the house with a bulging backpack. Our P.I. must have been using a telephoto lens to take these shots from his car parked across the street or something. Eli Kie's face can be clearly seen while the background is a bit blurry, as if he'd been hurrying from the house. "Now take a look at these photographs," whispers Mr. Talbert. We're handed five more. Not of Eli Kie but smoke coming from one of the windows to that house he ran from. The last photograph shows flames consuming it. "That house was where Miss Thomas lived in Stockett," says Mr. Talbert. "It has burned down. The firemen pulled out a body this morning." "She's dead?" asks Jesse with fear in his voice. :Yes. Eli Kie murdered her.: One of the photos showed the bulge to his backpack when he left her house. :He took something from her.: :Do you know what, Mike?: I've caught the hint that he thinks I Saw this too. :No. But I suspect it is something from her Native American collection.: It's real sad that many beautiful and sacred objects had burned up with her, lost now to everyone. "The body was badly burned," says Mr. Talbert. "The coroner will try to make an identification from dental work. It's expected to be Miss Thomas." "You should call the Havre Police," Jesse asks. "This proves that Eli Kie is a bad man. Not us!" "They'll be informed by the Chinook station," answers Mr. Talbert. I recall seeing Hawk-swooping-under walking to the police car. Hope fills me that he's been restored to the force but he wasn't in uniform. Hmm. He was probably acting as the tribe's representative in this matter. That Chinook policeman driving him and Mr. Wentworth to the station was white. Mr. Talbert gestures to have the photographs back. He places them in a folder and consults his notes. "Eli Kie was observed entering Miss Thomas' house last night at 7:18pm and he left twenty minutes later. Smoke was seen six minutes after that. Before firemen arrived on the scene, the whole house was ablaze. Mr. Wentworth came to me this morning with his photographs and I summoned the Chinook police. Mike. As sad as this is, it's going to help your case. A warrant for Eli Kie will likely be issued this afternoon where he's going to have to explain himself." "Yeah. I hope they'll also question him about Danielson's murder. Where he was that night it happened." "You think Eli Kie was involved with that, too?" I'm nodding my head. "He's now silenced two people - Miss Thomas and Officer Danielson. They were all working together to recover that Power Bundle hidden in Ron Earlman's trailer. When we ran away with it and I knocked out Danielson on Winna's front lawn, Eli Kie feared an investigation into the matter, that his associates might talk to save their own skins. He killed Danielson first. An old flint blade was used to make it seem like a Blackfoot Indian had done it out of anger for what the police had done to Jesse and me, and our surrendering a sacred belonging to them." Mr. Talbert lowers his eyes as if shamed. His next words explain it. "Jesse? I've been informed by Captain Ruston that your tribe's sacred bundle is missing from their evidence room." We already knew that. It explains how Eli Kie got it back from the police. He stole it. "Please let me use your cell phone." "Who are you going to call?" "Detective Peterson." "Mike. You should not be talking to the police. Yelling at them is not going to help matters." "I know that." I'm glancing at the folder my lawyer is holding with the photographs his P.I. took of Eli Kie. "They need to know what's going on before more people get killed by that evil man." "I'll be seeing Captain Ruston myself to hand him Mr. Wentworth's statement and these photographs he took." "Yeah. Okay. I just wanted to get Peterson involved because that will give us two Havre policemen on our side. You know how Detective Danielson is out for my blood concerning his brother's murder. I didn't do it." "Mike. There isn't any evidence yet as to who killed that officer. The photographs of Eli Kie are very suggestive but don't directly prove he killed Miss Thomas or burned her house down. It's enough for now that he'll be brought in for questioning." "If they can find him." "Yes. That's so. It'll look very bad for Eli Kie if he doesn't surrender himself yet his statement and those of Officer Danielson's against you must be countered." "Don't you have any statements prepared for Jesse and me to sign?" "Not yet. I want to hear your friend's account first then prepare them. There's no rush since the D.A. has refused to meet with me. This thing will have to play out in court. I haven't even been given your court date yet." "Isn't that unusual?" I ask. "Not really. The District Attorney needs time to evaluate the evidence and conduct a full investigation to see if their case against you is strong enough to win in court. And there are these new developments. I'm hoping that what's happened last night will cast doubt on their strongest witness - Undercover Officer Eli Kie. The D.A. won't go to trial if he and Officer Danielson were involved in illegal acts while under color of uniform." What Mr. Talbert has just said reminds me about something. "When will you be able to get my laptop's hard drive and Ron's diary zerox returned to me? It was illegal of Danielson to take them from Winna's house." "I've already discussed this with Bill and he's willing to return them." "So long as I don't press charges against his detectives for trying to question me without you being there." There's bitterness in my voice. "It's the right thing to do, Mike. There's no gain for us by getting Captain Ruston's men in trouble. You didn't tell them anything that can be used against you and you've got Detective Peterson thinking about Eli Kie. Bill mentioned something to me yesterday on that point. He learned that Detective Danielson was aware of his brother's association with that undercover officer from Helena. I have an investigator checking up on Eli Kie there." "You've told him to be careful, right? Two people are already dead." Ah, three when counting Ron's murder. Chris reminds me that he was that Trickster's first victim. Anger fills my voice. "Why didn't you call to warn us what Eli Kie did last night!" The burning sensation returns to my stomach. "Mike. Jesse and you were coming to see me today anyway and I was pretty busy with preparing Mr. Wentworth's statement to the police. Your house is being watched over by tribesmen. Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand is outside even as we speak to keep you from harm. That is so. I Feel Jesse trying to calm me through our connection. A deep breath is taken before I speak again. "Okay. We came here so that you can get Jesse's account of what happened. Let's get that over with." "Yes, and thank you for coming," says Mr. Talbert. "Ah, Mike. I'd like to talk with your friend alone. Why don't you ask Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand and Mrs. Winnapah if they'd like to come in for some coffee? I have a pot brewing in the kitchen." I glance at Jes for a moment. He assures me that he'll be alright with Mr. Talbert but I Sense worry in him for being left with a stranger. It's not like he'll be alone though. We can share our thoughts. I'm getting up from my chair and head for the front of the house. My stomach is still hurtin'. I might have to see a doctor about it. Damn! Me an' my worrin' have messed it up. A green light glows from the house's security panel by the door so I'm assured that opening it won't set off an alarm. When approaching Winna's pickup, I see Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand standing beside her door talking. The man notices me. I make my way around the truck to stand at his side. Something in their eyes hints that they'd been talking about me. Anything bad? My eyes lower from theirs, a kick is given to the pickup's front tire coming from my frustration. "My lawyer is questioning Jesse now. He's asked if you'd like to come inside for coffee." I'm wonderin' if there's milk in his frig. Drinking some might help settle my stomach. "No thanks," answers Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand. Winna shakes her head but I already suspected that she wouldn't come into the house. "Do you know how long your attorney will be speaking with my son?" I'm shaking my head, glancing down at my watch for the time. It's 2:41pm. "How long does it take to drive to Browning?" I ask. "About three hours from here," Winna answers. "We'll have to leave soon to get you to the council lodge by six." I focus my thoughts on Jesse. :Can you let Mr. Talbert know that I have to be in Browning at six? Your mom says that it takes three hours to drive there so we need to take off in about fifteen minutes. :I will, Mike.: "I've let Jes-ee-ah know..." I glance uneasily at Dirt-brought-up-in-his- hand. He nods knowingly at me. A sharp pain squeezes my stomach. "I saw you talking with Jes-ee-ah in the trailer park." His eyes flare. He means when I was talking with Jes on his cell phone or actually, when I was Thinking to my lover while the phone was lowered at my side, unused. I'm gonna have to be careful about that from now on. Can people see something revealing on my face when I Send my thoughts to Jesse? "Do not worry about this thing. My father is a Tribal Elder and I'll be following in his footsteps." Does that mean his father told him about Jes and me? The man exchanges glances with Winna. Yup. He knows. "This a big thing for you tonight," says Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand. "You are to be brought into our tribe. A happy event, yes?" I'm smiling and shake the man's hand he offers me. Although he smiles back, I glean something from him. Not all the Tribal Elders are of one heart in accepting me into their tribe. I decide not to press him about this. I'll have to wait and see what unfolds in council. :Mike! Your lawyer is asking me if my mom would be willing to sign a statement. Something about her complaint against those five policemen who stormed into grandfather's house looking for you.: :Tell him that you don't know, Jes. He's asked me this already and I think it's best that grandfather broaches this subject with your mom.: :Okay. I've told him that we have to leave for Browning soon. He knows already. I think he's going there himself tonight to attend the meeting.: :That begins at seven. Grandfather wants me there an hour earlier so that the Tribal Elders can see if I'm worthy.: I Send Jes what I've gleaned from Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand. :Mike. You've been peeking in other people's heads?: :Yeah. It just happens and I don't even need to touch them. Is that from your ability or something the Power Bundle's spirit did to me?: :I don't know. I think what you're doing is different than how I can peek in people's heads. You are Seeing things in them unbidden.: Worry fills me. :Like how a shaman Sees things in a vision?: :No. A vision is a gift from our Father. I think you're Seeing things from people the same way a scout reads signs during his tracking. That's how you knew that Danielson was in my mom's house. And remember that reporter who called you on the phone yesterday? How did you know his name was Tom? Through our connection, I'd Heard that man's gasp of surprise when you addressed him by his first name.: :Oh. I didn't notice that.: Jesse's thoughts fade out for a moment, causing me pain from a part of myself. I'm relieved when he Returns to me. :Your lawyer is asking me something. Let me get back to it so I'll be able to get out of here.: :Okay, my love.: There's a wrenching to my spirit when we break contact with each other. I'm noticing my deep longing for Jes whenever we're apart. We can connect with our thoughts. I love doing that. I'm left feeling very alone at this moment without him and am very tempted to Call out... I'm startled by a hand on my shoulder. My eyes focus on the Indian standing before me. For a moment, I don't know who he is or where I'm at. Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand whispers his concern. "Your face looks pale, Mike. Do you feel faint or something?" I lean heavily against the pickup. My stomach is botherin' me a lot but more than that, I'm feeling another kind of pain. A draining of energy or somethin'. My Connection with Jes is wearing on me. He draws on my strength to not only keep himself out here with us but to fend off his former self's attack. Good-eyes means to possess my lover. I know this! Jes has been Pulling on my strength a lot today and I'm feeling unsettled by it. I can't deny my lover like the moth that's drawn to the flame to its ill. Lighting crashes in my stomach. I clutch the front of me in terrible pain! Sight fades from my eyes... I awaken with a start. It's difficult, but I manage to lift my head from Jesse's shoulder. My eyes are drawn to the white broken lines on the highway's center lane. They appear ahead with expected regularity and pass under our pickup. I try swallowing in my dry throat. There's a bitter taste in my mouth. "Mike. Are you alright?" I tear my eyes from the road to look at Jes. His mom glances at me with much worry on her face. "Yeah. Ah. Did I faint or something?" "We're nearing Havre," says Winna. "Do you want to go home and sleep?" "No." I blurted that word out. In a softer voice, "I'm feeling better. We should head on to Browning." Winna glances at me again to read my face. I feign a grin to assure her that I'm alright. "I'm really worried about the two of you," says Winna. "I hear your concern. Grandfather is gonna find a shaman who can help Jes-ee-ah and me. Until then, we're enduring what's happened to us. We draw on each other for support through our Connection. It's gonna be okay." Winna shakes her head in dismay. I see her hands tightening around the steering wheel when she returns to concentrating on the road. :My mom's really upset. I know what's happening to me but you are being affected as well. What happened? I Felt you fading from me so I ran out of the lawyer's house. Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand was setting you inside my mom's truck. I couldn't get you to wake up!: :I'm just tired. That's all it is.: My thoughts become guarded so Jesse won't realize how much he's been drawing on me. He's been trying to keep me from knowing how bad it is for him. Good-eyes is trying hard to possess him. "Where are you, Mike?" It pains me that Jes had to ask me that out loud. With effort, I focus my thoughts on him. :It's gonna be a big night for me. I want to try sleeping on the way there. Okay?: :How's your stomach?: He must have Felt my pain earlier. :Better now. I must of eaten too much at Denny's.: I'm hoping that Jes will think that's why I became sick. :You did eat a lot of French fries.: I did. Jes could only manage to eat half of his so I finished them off for him. My thoughts become guarded again. That's not why my stomach hurts me. Chris was often going to his shaman for a remedy to his hurtin' stomach that didn't come from eating greasy food. He was a worrier like me. Jes pulls my head back to his shoulder to cradle me. I welcome the warmth of his body against mine. My eyes close. A warmth also fills my being from my lover and that helps me go back to sleep. I'm shaken awake. I stretch out my right arm and release a yawn. My head feels clear. Alert. Jes gives me a shy expression. I'm about to kiss him in assurance when Winna points out something. "That's where the meeting will take place tonight." I look out the windshield. There are no buildings in sight, only a large field of grass. She parks her truck next to a telephone pole. My eyes follow the line strung from it to a wooden shack in the distance. After getting out, I'm spinning over my feet to find the Blackfoot lodge. Where is it? "This is the summer meeting place," Jesse explains. "We gather at the Chinook Community Center during the winter." "Oh." I notice a bunch of pickup trucks and a red sports car near that wooden shack. Winna gestures that we're to go there. Jes takes a long look around at the field breathing in the smells of Spring that also harkens to me. The sun is about an hour from setting yet it remains warm outside. I glance at my watch. I'm relieved that we've made it here on time. When we approach the shack, I see that it's longer than I'd thought. The logs forming its construction look old. This is a proper Indian lodge, I think to myself. A window facing us isn't even covered by glass. Chris notes that it isn't a practical structure though - no way to tear it down and travois them long logs when following the buffalo herds. I look up at its telephone line with a sly grin. A boy gets to his feet when we approach the door. He looks to be about eleven. He's a cute kid. A painted deerskin robe covers his upper body while below he's wearing jeans. The youth faces us with sharp eyes. That's when I notice the red lines painted across his face that lends him a fierce appearance. He raises his right hand to us and speak in Siksika. "Greetings to you, grandmother." "And to you, grandson. The Tribal Elders are assembled within?" I recognize this ritual exchange that has gone unchanged since Christopher's time. This boy guarding the door would be a grandson to one of the elders inside. "Yes. Your son and this white man if he be Mike Yager are expected." Jes-ee-ah gestures that I am him. The boy's eyes go to my lover's braided hair and what hangs from a green ribbon tied to it. I see the envy in his eyes for that eagle's feather. When this youth proves himself, he too will wear this sign of honor in his hair. "I am Short Hair. How are you called?" The boy is startled for a moment for my having spoken in Siksika. "I am the grandson of Elder Tends-the-horses. My father has named me Bow-branch-that-doesn't-break." He smiles shyly. "You can call me Brian." I'm nodding with a grin. That's probably how his non-Indian friends address him. Hmm. This youth didn't name his father. That could mean he is not amongst the living and it's taboo to speak the name of the dead out loud. "Is my grandfather within?" asks Jesse. "Yes. Our Inspired One asks that you tarry at the door so that I might bring him outside to speak with you." Hmm. What's this about? The boy slips past the buffalo hide covering the lodge's entrance. Jes and I exchange glances. Winna, I noticed, hasn't set foot upon the porch. Ah, yes. I know from Chris that women do not enter the men's lodge. That must be true in this modern time. An old man exits the lodge with the boy returning to his place before the door. For a moment, I didn't recognize grandfather. He's wearing a finely painted medicine robe, leggings (though I can see part of his jeans showing at his waist) and moccasins cover his feet. A solitary eagle's feather is stuck through the back of his hair. This is a nominal display for a council though many more feathers are likely in his possession that would bespeak the honorable deeds he's done. Why his humble appearance? "Greetings to you, grandfather." Jes and I had spoken that in unison. "And to you, grandsons." Our ritual exchange has been made. That brings a smile to my face in remembrance of all the times Chris has done so himself. Grandfather glances at Winna and he acknowledges her with a nod of his head. The woman remains silent as expected of her. Our shaman walks along the porch and with a hand gesture, gets us to attend him. He stops at the corner of the lodge. Jes and I turn around to face him. Now far from where we stand, the door guard and Winna could still hear what will be said between us unless we whisper. "I wanted to speak with you before your entrance into our council." I'm drawing on Christopher to understand grandfather's old Siksika. Jes in turn Hears what he's saying through me. I doubt that youth or Winna can understand any of it. Much of the word meanings are shaped by hand gestures that remain hidden from their eyes. "I welcome your advice, grandfather." He gives me a certain look that warns me of the heavy words he's about to impart. "The full council has learned about you and my grandson this day. All of it." The butterflies that were dancing in my stomach are driven away by a sharp pain there as if I'd been struck by a stick. He's had to tell them about me being with Jesse? I acknowledge it with a sharp flick of my right hand, fingers outstretched and wiggling. That gesture also signals my dismay. "It is better that I tell them this thing before it comes to their ears in bad whisperings. My telling was not done with shame. I am glad that your heart and Jes-ee-ah's are as one in every way. Do not come before them with dirt wiped across your faces." "We are not ashamed, grandfather, only worried of what they think about us." Jesse Sends me something to say so that I can utter it in the old tongue. I do so. "It is our sacred task to bring this truth to the People. We believe in the good of our hearts." "Yes. I've Seen your hearts. Some of the elders are worried about how the People will act in learning this thing about you and Jes-ee-ah. The discussion in council has gone so far as to suggest that they wait before you are named a member of our tribe." I'm saddened by this turn in events. I remember to give grandfather my acknowledgement to what he's said and do so with only a slight head nod. :He's warning us about what to expect in council,: Jesse Sends. :I know.: :Don't be angry, love. We knew this wasn't going to be easy.: Grandfather turns around and starts walking towards the lodge entrance. There was no warning from him that our talk had ended. I'm a moment before setting my feet along the porch after him. Jes walks behind me. I take this as a sign from grandfather that he expected my reaction to what he's said but there's nothing proper I could say in return. It's left me with a heavy heart. The boy steps aside to allow our Inspired One to pass within. Brian won't look at me. I'm getting the impression that he knows I'm gay; his shyness comes from embarrassment. Hmm. I slip past the buffalo hide into the lodge with Jes-ee-ah following close behind. My eyes dart about this large room. I count eight men (including our grandfather) comprising this council. They sit in a circle around a small fire. The smoke from it rises to a hole in the ceiling that brings to my lips a ritual prayer I speak unto our Father. My eyes return to these Elders and chiefs. Most of them are dressed in Indian finery but such stark walls! No display of weapons or painted shields are in evidence nor are there coup sticks of feathers and scalps at any of these men's side. That's what my former self comments to me. We're also surprised that there aren't more men present. The tribe's strongest warriors attended councils to offer words in Christopher's day. I notice Hawk-swooping-down's absence. A gesture is given from Elder Quiet-before-the-dawn for Jes and I to sit. There's a place to do so beside our grandfather. I'm lowering my eyes from their scrutiny as expected of a young man to show respect to one's elders. Jesse's elbow accidentally sticks me in the ribs when he folds his hands in his lap. I Sense tension in him. :It's gonna be okay, Jes. I won't speak from anger or disappointment if they should decide that I'm not ready to become part of your tribe. We still have each other. For always!: :Yes. For always.: I peer at my lover. After a moment, his dark eyes dare to meet mine. Love Passes between us. We're not ashamed that they may see this in us. "We welcome you both to our council, son of Looks-from-mountain and son of Michael Yager." Elder Quiet-before-the-dawn knows my father's name? Grandfather speaks up in Siksika. "We must acknowledge that Krist-o-fer, son of Joshua Walker is also in attendance here within Short Hair, his former self who was a member of our tribe in the time of our grandfathers." I dare to peer around our circle to see how the men are taking what grandfather has said. A chief sitting opposite me is shaking his head. My eyes are next drawn to an Elder when he releases a huff of breath. So. They don't believe this thing about me. Are there any others here? Someone on my left speaks up. All eyes go to him and I notice his lack of Indian finery. Pants and a long sleeved shirt are being worn. No feathers. "So you say Inspired One. Our People won't know about his former self but see Mike as yet another wanna be who hopes to join our tribe." There are answering grunts. Who is this guy? I realize that the men not known to me haven't given me their names and no pipe was passed around as expected in a council, especially amongst strangers who of old partook of that sacred rite to offer a sharing of prayer unto our Father that also ensured the speaking of open hearts amongst each other. That ritual hasn't gone by the wayside in this modern age because I'd been given a pipe to smoke when meeting grandfather that first time. I'm fidgeting over the hard wooden floor. I want to speak up about this but can't bring myself to. Jesse speaks up. "Elders. I know all of you but Short Hair does not. May not the rites of our fathers be honored at least in council?" A smug grin comes to my lips. That a way to go, Jes! After an uneasy silence, that man who spoke last about me being a wanna be points to himself while uttering his name: Rides-a-fiery-horse. I notice the amused grin on a man's face who sits beside him. My eyes widen in realization. I'd seen that red sports car outside. His? The other men name themselves. Not as son of such and such like Jesse and I were introduced because we're young men. Their fathers have likely passed on. Elder Heart-for-all-to-see gestures that he wants to speak. I get the strong impression that he's Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand's father. "Short Hair. Will you tell us why you want to join our tribe?" I suck in a breath through my teeth. I'm being asked why I want this. "Elders. It is my intent to live out the rest of my life here, with Jes..." I didn't catch myself in time before saying that. They already knew though. My hands are shaking from nervousness. I fold them in my lap. "My former self was a part of your tribe and from him, I know that this is the right path for me. I want to learn your ways that will help me become a better human being. I want to serve the People in return. And I have done so." There's no need to mention my finding their Power Bundle or how I've helped Jesse. I remember to take another breath before speaking. "I'm hearing from some of you that there could be trouble if it's announced tonight that I am taken into your tribe. The People don't know me yet." A quick look around the circle of faces shows me that they are in agreement to what I've said. I'm taking another deep breath. Elder Rides-a-fiery-horse speaks up. "I don't know you, Mike. We've only heard the words from our Inspired One and Quiet-before-the-dawn about who you are. Perhaps it would be best for everyone to get to know you before we talk again about accepting you into our tribe." I'm glancing at grandfather. He won't meet my eyes. "Alright. I also need to learn more about what it means to be a Blackfoot of this time. My former self was from another time and..." "I would like to hear more about him from your lips," asks Chief Shoots- rifle-at-moose. That old man had spoken in old Siksika. I turn to grandfather and this time, he meets my eyes. I'm given his head nod to go ahead but I don't know how much I should reveal. My hands lift to help frame the words I'll speak. "Christopher Walker was a white youth who lost his parents during a river crossing. A fur trapper named Telson took him back to Fort Union. He met a brave there named Bad-eyes who had come to watch over his father having his portrait painted by Mr. Catlin. I ran away with him, ah... he did to be with the Black-dyed Moccasin Indians." "How old was your former self?" "Nearly sixteen." I've been gesturing along with my spoken words as it was done of old. I can see that it's impressed the council members including those who were doubting that Chris is speaking through me. "Who was chief in that time?" asks Elder Tends-the-horses. My eyes lower in shame for being asked the name of the dead. I tap my heart and speak. "The big chief was Ear-to-ground-to-hear-buffalo, son of Strong-as-the-mountain. This chief's son was brave bad-eyes who himself became a chief called Good-eyes and later, an Inspired One." I wonder if everyone present knows that he's Jesse's former self? "Hmm. You have spoken their names and forgive my having asked you to say them out loud." In a mere whisper, "Do you know how they died?" I hear sharp breaths being released by the men around our fire. There's anger blaring from their eyes. Shame nearly overwhelms me because this is a thing Chris blames himself for, that they'd been killed because of him. My hands lift for gesturing. I take a deep breath and speak. "In the year 1869 when Chris was seventeen during the waxing Deer Moon, soldiers fell upon the People. Many were killed..." Anguish squeezes my heart. My throat constricts, preventing me from going on. The memory of that terrible day comes fully upon me. I stare into the fire, reliving what Chris witnessed that became a stain upon his soul. He saw the warriors and braves grabbing their weapons, get on their unpainted horses in a rush to meet battle but already the soldiers were rushin' into camp. Women cried out in fear. They carried small children in both arms to flee but feet are no match for speeding horses. A little girl named Cow-sniffs-clover runs past me with her hands covering her ears. I too hear the loud frightful sounds that rifles make. Above that, a soldier's trumpet blares with hatred. I'm shaking my head to deny these painful images. Yet they come forth. The expanding column of mounted soldiers pass through camp and circle around for another assault. They have come to rescue me from the Indians. I stand as if rooted to the ground, unbelieving. Their rifles fire again and again, droppin' warriors from their horses, rubbing out braves, women and even the little ones. I run towards the soldiers with my arms flailing to give myself up so they'll stop the killing! I'm the cause of this war! They ride past, guns firin' in all directions. I turn to call them back for failing to notice me. That's when I realize my sun darkened skin and breechclout worn around my waist had hidden my white heritage from their eyes. I could have been shot as an Indian. Woe covers my heart. I wanna be given what I deserve. I'm runnin' towards the soldiers to find death. A moan comes from an old man who lifts his arm an' draws me to him. It's Bad-eyes' grandfather. Blood pours out of a gaping hole in his right breast my hands are unable to staunch. He grunts out in pain. I cry out when he grabs my hair to pull me to the ground beside him. He doesn't want me to give away my life. The thunderin' of horses return to our part of camp. Grandfather keeps his grip of my hair until they pass. Rifles are fired. Each shot makes me flinch yet none of their bullets finds me. My hair is let go. I look into grandfather's eyes that are no longer full of fear. They don't blink. Oh! He is dead. I pound the ground in anger. Guilt fills me that he's died instead of me!(1) I'm rocking back and forth. My arms clutch my sides as tears fall to them. I close my mouth. Alarm fills me when realizing I'd spoken Christopher's account out loud. I'm unable to meet the men's eyes. I am so ashamed! Grandfather grasps my right shoulder. I Hear Jes trying to Reach past my woe so I'm opening myself to his much needed comforting. He embraces me. Both with his arms around me and in thought. :I'm so sorry for what happened to your People!: :No, Mike! Don't be.: "You were not to blame for the soldier's attack on our tribe," assures Chief Shoots-rifle-at-moose. "They were sent to rub the People out because they stood on land the U.S. Government wanted for themselves. To own it. Release that burden from your heart." He thumps his chest hard. Jes slowly releases me. I stare at that chief with tears swimming in my eyes. As Mike, I know that Chris was not the cause for the soldier's attack. It had been a mere excuse for them to fall upon the Indians if that even. No soldier tried rescuing him. 'Chris! Listen to what this chief of the Blackfoot has said. It wasn't your fault!' I peer at Chief Shoots-rifle-at-moose with Christopher's eyes. He's surprised to find compassion in them. A measure of forgiveness. Grandfather grasps my shoulder to Connect our thoughts. I'm not Hearing him but something breaks in my former self. His terrible burden is gone. I sigh with relief, noticing something strange about my head. No longer is there a duality to my thoughts or what my eyes see. Chris and I are One. I'm looking down at myself but don't see a deerskin flap covering me. No bared feet. Chris has been brought forward in time to where I am now. "...was part of our tribe but Short Hair needs to know the People we've become. Let us have a few moons to know his heart." Elder Heart-for-all-to-see had said that. He called me by my Indian name. I draw breath into my lungs then address the council with resolve in my eyes. "Your words fill my heart, Elder. Very well. Let a few moons pass so that we can get to know each other." I wet my lips. "Your People need to be brought back to the path." There's surprise in some of the men's eyes from my bold words but I'd spoken truly. Rides-a-fiery-horse says with anger, "What can he teach us about that?" I face this Elder with a strong heart. "My eyes have seen your People's sacred ways, from the past." "This is so," says Shaman He-who-runs-up-mountains. I catch the knowing look in grandfather's eyes and I'm nodding at him. He formally addresses the council in old Siksika. "Short Hair has acted for the good of our tribe. His feet stand in both places of where we were and where we are now. He found a sacred belonging of our People and brought my grandson back to us. Jes-ee-ah can now follow in my footsteps to lead our People back to the path of Light. They have our Father's blessings. I have spoken." "Very well," says Elder Heart-for-all-to-see. Most of the chiefs and Elders voice their acceptance to what grandfather has said. It's like they're acknowledging us. Jes turns to me with bright eyes. He is last to utter those two words but in my heart, he'd been the first to recognize what we're to do for our People coming from our love. Jesse is at my right side when we face the gathered People. So many of them! Hundreds are standing in the field with their faces aglow from the torchlight. Their chiefs and Elders stand in a proud line before them. It's deadly quiet. Elder Quiet-before-the-dawn asks that they hold peace in their hearts least the Evil One's hope for a war come about. His words echo what I've asked of them through that news reporter. Shaman He-who-runs-up- mountains warns that Eli Kie is a servant of that Evil. Hawk-swooping-down gives an account of the bad deed this Trickster has done, how the police now hunt this man and for everyone to be vigilant. A proud moment for my lover comes when grandfather announces that he'll be following in his footsteps as shaman. The People are also told that I'll be undergoing initiation in the coming moons to become part of the tribe. A few in the crowd beat their chests that slowly builds to a thunderous noise. Tears sting my eyes. Chief Heart-for-all-to-see presents me with an elk skin robe to wear. It's plain of decoration. The announcements end. Questions spring out from some of those gathered concerning the Power Bundle surrendered to the police, Eli Kie (asking if other policemen are involved), how I'm set in all of this and a man wearing a cowboy hat stirs up dissent when reminding everyone of the fight against the mines that are leaching heavy metals into the rivers they fish from. Elder Quiet-before-the-dawn answers their questions. I see his skill in appeasing their concerns while not revealing too much. Grandfather ends the meeting by leading the People in prayer. He Calls upon our Father's protection from Evil and to keep our feet upon the path. People start heading across the field to their pickup trucks and leave. Jes takes hold of my right hand to introduce me to his relatives who lingered around after the meeting. It's a blur of brown faces, many smiling who give me their names and relations to Jes-ee-ah that I'm trying to remember. I realize the futility of this task after meeting with three of his cousins, two aunts, two uncles, nephews and nieces. A man shakes my hand whom I recognize. He has grandfather's face but is younger. Hawk-in-sky is introduced to me as the first son of our Inspired One. I remember seeing him at the motorcycle shop in Chinook when his son Running Water took me there. He turns to Jes-ee-ah and speaks in Siksika. "I'm happy, nephew that you've come back to us. You are to take training from my father. Good! That lifts my heart. How did your friend bring your spirit up from where it was hiding within you?" I notice his gaze on me. Old eyes, yet there's a sharpness in them. Jes tightens his hand around mine but doesn't answer him. I'm shrugging my shoulders not knowing what to say either. The old man lifts his bony hand to my head. He pulls on my hair. We're given a toothy grin from this man. "An appropriate name for your... companion." He knows about us! Then I remember that his own son had Ron Earlman for a 'companion' so he would know how to read similar signs in us. I'm feeling many mixed emotions: embarrassment, relief that he knows, and happiness. I want badly to look at Jes to see if there's anything revealing on his face but I can't bring myself to do so. I'm trying to guard my face. Hawk Flying Over rescues me when he offers to shake hands. That gives me the opportunity to release Jesse's grip of my hand to do so. "My heart is glad that you'll become part of our tribe, Short Hair." I'm thanking this man. My breath trembles when Running Water steps into view beside his cousin. We're shaking hands. His face is beaming for me. "This is a good thing for you, brother." I'm Sensing mixed emotions coming from Running Water. His eyes don't look at Jesse, I notice. Another man approaches. "Looks like things went well in council," says Hawk-swooping-down. "I'm sorry that I couldn't attend." I know why. He's been busy at the Chinook Police station to begin the hunt for Eli Kie. "Thanks. For everything." Jes and I owe this man much for allowing our escape from that Trickster to bear our Power Bundle away. It has cost him his uniform, though. I voice my apology for this. "I'm being put back on duty tomorrow." "I'm glad!" Hawk-swooping-under gives us a big grin. The man shakes hands with Jesse before heading away in the darkness. I'm running my hands down the elk skin robe I'm wearing. It's more than keeping me warm on this night. I feel a part of the People at last. Running Water turns to someone calling his name. I see One-white-horse with extinguished torches piled in his arms. My brother lifts his hand to us in farewell before joining his cousin to help out. Jes and I are finally left alone in the field. Everyone has left. We turn to each other with weary grins. :So many people in your family!: I remark. :With one more joining them.: A warmth fills my heart. I remember to tell him about what happened earlier. :Chris is fully a part of me now.: :I know, love. It only took those words of compassion from our chief to make you whole.: That's so. I'm more confident about myself coming from the strength of adding who I was to me now. It's as my lover said, I've been made whole. :I understand everything now. How your People relish life and thank our Father for each wondrous day! This is a good path for me to walk.: Jes looks around before he dares a thing I'm wanting to do with him too. There's the sound of trucks driving away in the distance. Running Water is nearly finished helping his cousin gather the rest of the torches. Most of the field is in darkness. We embrace. Our lips meet in a long sweet kiss. The tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck. Jes parts from me, turning to face his mom. She lowers her eyes. Not from disapproval or shame but that she's caught us in a private moment together. "The meeting went well," Winna whispers. "Uhm. It's been a long day for all of us so. Let's get back to the truck." Winna waits for us to walk on ahead of her. Jes reaches down for my right hand and clasps it. :Now she's seen us do that,: Sends Jesse. I release a tense sigh. Yeah. Probably not a good thing. I'm concerned about that more than Jes seems to be. Hmm. He knows his mom better than me. Maybe it was okay. We struggle to find Winna's pickup in the dark. Moonlight reflects off a telephone wire so I lead Jesse towards the pole where we've parked. Winna walks close behind us in silence. I'm startled by a circle of light striking my feet. The man holding the flashlight approaches. "You're parked over there," announces Running Water. "Thanks." We follow after him until we reach Winna's pickup. The woman is unlocking her door. I feel tension from my brother when he waits for our door to be opened. "Uncle?" whispers Jesse. I know what my lover wants to assure this man about. Before he can tell him, our door is unlocked and opened by Winna. :You go ahead, love.: I've caught what Jes is asking me. I get into the truck. He's walking a few steps away with Running Water so they can talk in private. "Jes-ee-ah will be back in a moment," I explain. The woman looks past me for a moment then fumbles with inserting her key in the ignition. I'm barely able to hear their voices. Something is said about Ron. Fear squeezes my heart that Winna might overhear something she shouldn't so I'm closing my passenger side door. Winna releases a weary sigh. Her right hand falls to her lap with the keys jingling against the dashboard. I notice she didn't start her truck. "My son..." breathes Winna in a trembling voice. "He's really grown up." I don't know how to answer her. She must be referring to seeing us kiss. "His grandfather told me what's been happening to him. That spirit from the Power Bundle. How it's affecting the both of you." She takes a breath. "Mike. In spite of all that, I know it was because of you that my son is no longer... sick. You've helped him become whole." Jes has done this same thing for me. I notice he's not returned to the truck. Is Running Water begging forgiveness from his nephew for what Ron did with him? Winna shifts in her seat to look past me for her son. I come up with something to say to distract her. "Mother? I've thought about what you asked me this afternoon about the house. I want to pay off your loan on it." Winna grasps my left arm. "We'll talk about this tomorrow." I sense relief in Winna. Now she knows that I'm not planning on stealing her son away like what happened to her younger sister when she ran off with that Mexican migrant worker. Judy hasn't been heard from since. My eyes widen with surprise. I must have gleaned this from Winna because Jes didn't mention anything about a man being the cause of it. This new ability of mine of Seeing into people... I've demonstrated it before as Chris after Shaman Comes-the-rain performed a Seeking Ritual for me right before I died. I was worryin' about bein' stole back by my white folk in another attack on our tribe. The shaman didn't See this happenin'. I knowed it too, from some Joining that happened between us during his rite. Some of that man's Indian magic musta rubbed off on me. Memories from long ago come upon me with an ease that no longer frightens me. I was Reading people, what they thought about things when talking with 'em. In that last moon of my former life, I'd brought some of them around to acceptin' what Good-eyes and me had together. It was a joyous task. Even Shaman Comes-the-rain was considerin' marrying us after I spoke to his fears I'd Read in him. Too bad I didn't Look into Eli Kie an' see him for what he was. A servant of Evil! A cold chill runs down me spine. He musta knowed and that's why he killed me to hide from the others that he'd been a Trickster. "What is Jes-ee-ah talking about with his uncle?" Winna asks. "Couldn't it have waited until tomorrow?" I ignore her for the moment. With my new eyes, I review what was said by those men in council who were against my being taken into the tribe. Rides-a-fiery-horse mentioned that I was yet another wanna be who hoped to join their tribe. He was referring to Ron. I realize he was against it not because Ron was white but because he was gay like me. That Elder feared what the People would think of him and the other council members if they were to allow me to become part of their tribe. Shaman Comes-the-rain feared losing respect from his People too. I'd brought him around to the notion of marryin' us. 'Don't people want to be led?' I'd asked him, 'When they don't know the right thing to do?' That's a shaman's task to convince 'em that he's acting in the Light of our Father. A pain comes to my heart. Me an' Owopspec came so close to achievin' this thing in our tribe. Eli Kie prevented this truth from being knowed by killin' me. Another chance has come. Good-eyes was given a vision from our Father to craft that Power Bundle for a spirit to sleep in 'till that day Jes and I released it. Winna interrupts me from my thoughts by opening her door. "No, mother. Please! Let me go check on them. Okay?" I'm out my door before she can say anything. I'm joining those two figures in the dark. They've stopped talking. Jes brings his arm around my waist. He Sends me what they'd been talking about and it's as I've suspected. I'm Asked not to say a word to Running Water since they've made peace concerning Ron. "Your mom is real tired." I'd said that for Running Water's benefit. "I know. We all are," says Jesse. "My father is waiting for me back at my truck." I try making out Running Water's face in the dark. What is he feeling? Probably bad things 'cause they'd been talking about what Ron had done. I'm wishing that I could hold my brother to ease his heart pain. Jes pushes me into his uncle's arms. Ahh. Ours is a long hug coming from relief and the hope that nothing has changed between us. It hasn't! I've been missing him a lot. "Uncle? It's been a while since you've taken me to your cousin's house in the Reservation..." I've caught my lover's hint. Hawk Flying Over has a hot tub that would ease the stress from this difficult week. Running Water loosens his arms around me so I step back a pace. "Yeah. Can you take us there?" "If you want." :Thanks, Jes!: I Sense the same excitement in my lover that I'm feeling. Running Water stands there in the dark without saying anything more. I reach back for Jesse's hand and lead it into his uncle's. I hear a thumping to my lover's shoulder. "Okay, you two. I'll come by after work tomorrow. Around four." "That sounds great." I reach down to join their clasp of hands. A wry grin crosses my lips. Chris had been part of triad of love coming from his warrior Good-eyes and his boy Wind-goes-through-his-hair. Funny how this same thing is happenin' in my second life. In hand, I lead Jes back to the pickup. He scoots along the seat next to his mother. I'm closing the door with a bang. The engine is started. Winna drives back to a road that's full of pot holes. I sure regret that the seatbelt doesn't work. We turn onto a street lit by a lamp hanging from what appears to be a barn. We pass more dark buildings. Kinda spooky. "We're in Browning," Jesse explains. "The town has gone to sleep with the coming of night." "Oh." He means that this is an Indian town. I notice the rough road. Winna drives slowly through until we reach the highway. Then she picks up speed to get us home. Jes reaches for my left hand. I'm Sensing how tired he is. Me too. We lean our heads together to rest but a Sharing comes about between us. We relive how today's events unfolded. The hunt is on for our enemy, Eli Kie. May he crawl under a rock and never show his face again in the light of day! Our thoughts turn to something less dark. The council of men came to know who we are to each other. Not an acceptance of our love but acknowledgement. In time, we hope to bring them around and then the People. I notice the elk skin robe I'm wearing. I've taken another step this night. Running Water's words he'd spoken in the dark returns to us. This man is in much pain because of what Ron had done to us, ah... his nephew. Guilt plagues his spirit for being with... with me in the same way Ron had been with Jes. We know that it's not the same thing. Not done behind a lover's back and with an innocent kid because Jes has growed up. I accept Running Water's love. I want him! Our desire is acknowledged by Jesse who is happy for us. My heart is big enough to love them both. We're in awe that a former self has fully come out. All that Chris was has now settled within me. We are on guard to prevent that from happening with Good-eyes. That rage in him to come out! To go after Eli Kie would mean losing ourselves, ah Jes-ee-ah. It's taking a lot out of us to keep him down. We hope that grandfather can find that shaman to help quiet Jes' former self. From our Sharing, secrets are revealed. Jes is really worried about my stomach pains. Maybe I should go and see a doctor about it. I learn from Jes the guilt he's been feeling for depending on me so much. That he's using me. I'm assuring my lover that it's okay. I understand why he needs to. Our flurry of thought exchange ends. It's wonderful to just be Together in spirit. Jes Takes me somewhere. A wondrous Place of Light... We're brought back awake by the change in pitch to the engine. Winna is driving through Havre. Ah, home! Jes stirs at my side. He squeezes my hand that fills me with an excitement of getting him alone in bed. Likely some aching for my behind tonight. :Maybe not,: Jesse warns. :I'm so sleepy.: I'm not disappointed. It'll be enough for us to be in each other's arms. Have to save something for tomorrow when Running Water fetches us to his cousin's house for a soaking in that hot tub. A low chuckle escapes my lips. "Are any of you hungry?" Winna asks. She pulls into her driveway. "Nope." Jes and I just want to get to bed. In the front hall, I reverently hang my elk skin robe on a rack by the door. In the coming moons, I'll be given instruction on what it means to be a Blackfoot with my accomplishments being painted on that robe for all to see. I'm grabbing my laptop bag even though it's useless without the hard drive. I sure hope my lawyer will get it back for me. Winna goes to the bathroom. I'm feeling my own need but don't linger by the door so as to rush her. Jes leads me into the kitchen. He sets his eyes on a chocolate pudding cup on the counter and pulls it from the pack. I get him a spoon. With happy glee, my lover eats half of it before offering me some. I'm shaking my head. He can have this treat all to himself. Mom comes into the room with a weary pace to her feet. It's not unlike a long day's journey behind the buffalo when the women reveal their fatigue. The men have ridden up ahead to spy on the herd for tomorrow's hunt but before anyone can sleep, the women must strike tipis and girls fetch water an' help out with the meal. Talk will be made around this new camp after eating in spite of everyone's weariness. I stare at the hummin' refrigerator with dismay. It reminds of how people have housed themselves in big boxes that keeps their daily lives separated from their neighbors. Real sad, that. Winna pushes a button on a black box next to the phone. It beeps, uttering in a computer's voice, 'Message one'. A man's voice follows. He asks Winna if she can come to see him tomorrow at eleven. She gasps. "Isn't that your boss?" asks Jesse. "Yes. I hope it's about giving me back my job!" I've never heard Winna this happy. Jes and I beam at our mom, our hope joining with hers. "You see. Things are getting better, mom." Winna opens her arms to hug her son. This is a happy moment for them. They separate but I'm not sure if the woman wants to embrace me. The moment for it passes 'cause I'm tossing Jesse's empty pudding cup in the trash under the sink. A hand comes to the back of my neck. I turn, face Winna who gives me the best smile I've ever seen from her. She really does love me. It brings tears to my eyes that embarrasses me. "You called Mr. Spenser this morning?" I really didn't need to ask her that. It's obvious. Just something to say while I'm wiping my face dry. Winna nods. "He wasn't in his office so I left a message asking him if something can be worked out with me working part time." "I'm glad." A yawn forces itself from my mouth. It's caught by Jes and then by his mom. We'all yawning something fierce. "Good night, you two." "Night, mom." I give the woman a hand gesture of going to my place of rest. That's going be in her son's room. Such happiness bursts in my heart that Winna acknowledges my place in her home. We first take turns in the bathroom to relieve ourselves after the long ride. Jes takes me by the hand down the darkened hall. We enter the left bedroom, yawning. Our door is closed. He strips out of his clothes and I do the same watching each other. We leave our underwear on and get into bed. "Good night, Brown Bear." "Yeah. Good night, John-boy." A wry smile crosses my lips. "Who's that?" Jesse asks. "You've never seen the Walton's on TV?" I Send images of that family to my lover. He's envious that they had a whole mountain to themselves. Our hands clasp. We draw up the covers with our outer hands in unison. A pillow feels good under our heads. Them are feeling so heavy. "Mike?" "Yeah?" Jes rolls over to lay his head on my breast. I breathe in the strong scent from his hair. His braiding tickles my nose. :I'm so happy!: :Me too.: I Sense his longing to return to what we Shared during the ride home. We'd entered a kind of light sleep, Passing more than our thoughts to each other by an embracing of spirits. We'd lost ourselves in each other. A joyous thing! Jes assures me that he's learning how to control it. :You Took me somewhere earlier. A Place of Light?: :Yes. I think that's where our spirits really are and it's There we can Join with all the Others.: :Like heaven?: That concerns me. Jes can ride along a moon beam as grandfather has Seen in his vision but I'm thinking that I shouldn't Go there. Maybe we both shouldn't until we die. :I think you're right, Mike. Only a trained shaman should make the attempt and then only in good cause to serve the People.: For an instant, I'd Felt another presence in our exchange. Good-eyes?! :Don't worry, Mike. It was only a warning from him about taking a Spirit Flight. I'm often ignoring his Voice so I won't be drawn to allow our Joining. He has much wisdom to offer me though. If only he could be content to remain where he is inside me.: :Be ever on guard, my love! I brought Chris up to Join me when I was feeling so lost and miserable in that padded cell. It just happened. Don't you do it. Please!: :I know. It won't be an equal Sharing between my former self and I.: I'm gripping Jesse's hand real tight. I open my very being to him so he can draw whatever strength or support he needs so that won't happen. :I think he's gone to sleep.: My tense body is able to relax. A yawn fills my mouth. "We should be getting to sleep, too." "Not just yet. Okay?" I heard the plea in my lover's voice. We turn to each other. Arms wrap around and with a sweet joining of lips, our bodies fill with excitement. It's a wonderful sensation. Jes pulls my underwear down. I'm tugging on his that catches on something. Oh. I'm gently freeing his erection from the elastic band. "I love you so much, Short Hair!" "I love you too, Jesse! Let's do it and then we can... go to sleep." He giggles at me. We're mashing ourselves in front. Lots of kissing. Jesse feels so good in my arms and the urgent humping from his butt in my left palm gets my cock feeling intense. I'm Sensing his nearing climax. My lover rolls on top of me, trapping his hands under my back. I pull over his cheeks in beat to lifting my butt from the bed. Our stiff cocks stab together in heat. Ahh! I'm gushing to him. No sooner when my squirts end, I feel a liquid warmth coming to my belly from Jes. He releases a high-pitched cry. We both Share in this male joy of release. It's almost too intense to bear! Loud breaths fill the room. Our thrills ebb to a satisfying sense of relief after cumming. I lift my hands to Jesse's back. He has his face buried in my neck, cooling my sweat from it. I'd like us to kiss but we can't yet. We're gasping after what just happened. Wow! It seems that our love making is getting better. :I'm learning how to control how we Share,: explains Jesse, :so you can enjoy it too.: I know what he means. My lips playful pull on my lover's earlobe. I want something better to mouth so I'm tugging on Jes' braided hair, getting him to lift his head from my neck. He's giggling. I aim myself at that sound. Our lips come together. A kiss. :Jesse!: :I know, love. What a wonderful way to express our hearts!: He has to pull away to take a breath. I'm rubbing my long nose over his. Jes trembles over me, enjoying how they're making a kiss of their own. I Sense discomfort coming from his arms pinned under me. My left hand lowers to his butt before I roll us onto our sides. I'm trying to keep our wet bellies together so they won't drip to our bed. :I have another set of sheets in the drawer.: :Do you have anything to wipe us up with?: Our underwear comes to mind. :Don't worry about it, Mike.: I'm getting the impression that Jes wants to smell what's come from our love all night long. He'll clean things up in the morning. My nose fills with that familiar sharp smell. From experience, I know that most of it will dry by morning leaving me with matted groin hair and a revealing spot on the bed. Our bed! Jesse's right hand slips down my back. He's not holding me as tightly. I smile when hearing him snore. I'm lifting my hand from his soft behind to clutch his back. My right arm is straightened out beneath his head to a more comfortable position. He's fallen fast asleep. I'll keep him in my arms. There's not enough light to see his face but I remember its every feature: brown sensual lips, a big nose, dark eyes that can reveal everything he's feeling and a broad forehead all set in a dark oval of skin. More of his rounded cheeks have been revealed after his mom braided his hair this morning. That's freed his cute little ears, too. A burst of love fills my heart. This young Indian has given himself to me as I have to him. He's a delicate flower that has opened in the daylight. I'm remembering how fragile Jes is. He talks big like a shaman but that's hiding a part of himself who is frightened; he's unsure of himself with all that's been going on. Chris tried warning me about this in a dream. I need to look past who Jes is as an Indian to see him as a person. Still so young in some ways. He's been Pulling strength from me a lot recently. I understand why. If only I could Talk with his former lover. He needs to know that my death don't need to be avenged. I'm alive again. Good-eyes was a shaman and wise in their ways yet he's trying to take Jes-ee-ah over. Out of rage? Their Merging won't be an equal one as I've had with Chris. Jes will be overwhelmed by that old man and it really will be possession. An evil thing! 'Do you hear me? If ever I see you lookin' back at me with Jesse's eyes, I'll leave you! I've already sworn this unto our Father. Please. Don't take my lover over just to avenge my death. I'll hate you for it!' I eventually fall into a troubled sleep. Jes-ee-ah sits over a tree stump in the backyard. My eyes follow the sensual curving from his lower back to a pair of brown cheeks. He's naked, enjoying the sun's warmth over his slim body. I'm wantin' to join my lover when something frightens him. He springs to his feet. Fleeing. I see what from and it sends terror into my heart! An old man chases Jes around the yard, calling out to him in a desperate plea. The boy dives through the tire swinging from a willow tree. Good-eyes bangs his head when he tries crawling through that hole in the tire. Jesse made it through but he's landed flat on his face. I'm throwing him a life rope. The muscles tighten in my arms when the rope grows taunt. I'm pulling Jes over the ground to escape that old man. Good-eyes has seen this trick before and is coming up with a way to counter it. When he does, this boy will be his. I'm Calling out to the tree to tangle him in his gnarled branches. "Please! Come and help my lover to escape!" I awaken with breaths rushing through my mouth. Someone rubs their hand over my face to calm me. It's Jes. "Shh. Go back to sleep, love." "You escaped him?" I'm looking for that old man but it's too dark to see. "Yes, for now. He who was that willow tree has Heard your plea. It's going to be alright. Go to sleep." My taunt body relaxes over the bed. Jesse caresses my chest, giving me small kisses there. I release a sigh. He scoots closer to me with his head resting over my chest. My eyes close. I'm startled awake by knocking on our door. Jes and I sit up on our bed, startled from sleep. We notice our nudity. From the white glow coming through our window, we realize that morning has come. "Mike? Someone is on the phone for you," says Winna through the door. "Okay. I'll be right there!" I turn to my lover with a grimace. "Why can't we be left alone?" Jesse lowers his eyes. I regret having reminded him that ours isn't a normal life. I'm grabbing my jeans and a shirt to put on. I rush from our bedroom to where the phone is in the kitchen. "Hello?" "Hi. Mr. Talbert, here. I'll be seeing Captain Ruston this afternoon. "You're going be giving him those photos of Eli Kie?" "Yes, along with Mr. Wentworth's statement about what he saw." "Yeah, okay." "I'm really calling to let you know that someone from the county sheriff's department will be coming over to see you today at around noon. Don't panic. They're going to confirm where you're living and all per your bail agreement. Don't tell them anything about your case." "Okay." I remember that homeless man in my cell warning me about this. "Bill will be giving me your stuff Danielson took from the house." Relief fills me. "After your meeting with the captain, can you drop it off here?" "I plan to. Mike? I'd advise that you continue working on translating Mr. Earlman's diary entries. Anything he's written about Miss Thomas and her relationship with Officer Danielson should be given me." "Yeah. I will." No one is going to know what Ron wrote about Jes though. I'm looking up at the kitchen clock. It's already half after nine. "What time do you expect you'll be coming over?" I ask. "Ah. Some time after three." I'm remembering that Running Water is picking Jes and me up at four so I hope my lawyer will arrive before then. "Try not to be later than that." "I won't. I'm meeting with a client at five." He's a busy man, eh? "Okay. See you then. And thanks for calling." I'm hanging up the phone with both Jes and his mom giving me that Look. With much reluctance, I tell Winna about the court checking up on me this afternoon. She turns to her son. "You should come with me when I see Mr. Spenser." Oh, yeah. She's meeting with her boss at eleven in the hope of getting her job back. Part time, anyway. Jesse is shaking his head. "You can see him on your own, mom. I'd only be in the way." "Jes-ee-ah. I don't want you in the house when those policemen come." Winna said that in a mother's tone of voice warning her son to do as she's asked. I keep my eyes from Jesse. I'm not going to get in the middle of this. "No, mom. I'm not afraid of them. Besides, there's someone outside watching over our house so nothing bad is going to happen. I want to be with Mike when they come." Winna is shaking her head. "I don't want the policemen taking you away!" Jes looks to me for support. There's such pleading in his eyes. Oh, well. It looks like I am gonna have to get involved in their confrontation. "Winna, it's not going to be policemen. My lawyer said it's only someone from the county sheriff's department. I'm not being questioned about my case. The court wants to be assured that I haven't skipped out on bail." Winna releases a tense sigh. She glares at her son and I'm thinking that she's going to be yelling at him. "Fine. But go and tell whoever is out there that Mike's having visitors. I don't want any trouble." I'm surprised that Winna is relenting. She's revealing how upset she is that her house has to be watched. We need protection! Eli Kie is still on the loose and he may be coming after us next. Jesse runs from the kitchen. I'm Feeling how torn up he is for saying what he did to his mom. "So. It's started." I shoot Winna a questioningly look. The woman takes a deep breath. "Mike. It's hard for me to let go of my son but please try not to interfere with what I think is best for him." I'm raising my hands in surrender. "I didn't want to get in the middle of you two. It doesn't matter to me if you want to take Jes with you. Really!" Winna glares at me. She releases a sigh then lowers her eyes from mine. "Okay. Just so we have this understanding between us." "Sure. But Jesse is going to do what he wants whether you or me like it." Winna doesn't say anything. She passes by me to get her coffee maker started. I'm feeling real bad. Jesse returns to the kitchen. I decide against Sending him what had exchanged between his mother and me. "Do you like to eat cereal in the morning, Mike?" "Yeah." I recall washing out their bowls that had been left in the sink from morning when I'd come over that first night for dinner. Jes gets milk out of the refrigerator and a basket of strawberries. "The bowls are in that cupboard." I fetch them along with a box of Kellogg's Cornflakes, sugar and three spoons. We're taking everything into the dinning room. :Mom looks upset.: :Yeah. She is. Maybe you should go with her this afternoon, Jes.: He gives me stern eyes in response. :This was going to happen sooner or later, Mike. I need to let my mom know that I'm no longer a kid. I want to be with you when they come.: :It don't matter to me. Why fight over such a small thing?: :Mike. Weren't you challenging everything your mom wanted you to do?: :Sure I was. She still tells me things I should do even though I've moved out of the house, have my own apartment and working full time but that's a mother's job. We're living under Winna's roof so we should listen to her. And remember, she's been taking care of you for all your life until I came.: Jesse peers at me for a moment then he's returning to the kitchen. I stand by my chair and wait. "Do you want some coffee?" asks Winna. I turn to her with shy eyes. "No thanks. It'll make my cereal taste bad." The woman returns to the kitchen. I'm hoping that Jes will talk with her. That doesn't happen because they're both coming to join me at the table. Winna sits down and we take to our chairs. There's a moment of silent prayer. I'm given the box of cereal after she has filled her bowl. Cornflakes. Hmm. I remember eating these as a kid but I'd rather go for them sugar cereals like Captain Crunch. After drowning the flakes in my bowl with milk, I sprinkle sugar over them and toss in some strawberries. We eat in silence except for the crunch crunch crunch. I'm noticing that Winna hasn't lit the candles. Maybe she only does that at dinner time. I can't ask her about it because I know not to talk during our meal. That's not the Indian way. There's lots of stuff I'm gonna need to learn about being part of the Blackfoot Tribe so I'll fit in. Breakfast ends. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed eating cornflakes. They're an honest taste, like the Kellogg's commercial says but anything eaten with milk is going to taste good. I'm glad that my stomach isn't hurting me this morning. Wait 'till them officers come over. Man! I'm not looking forward to them invading our house. Winna gets up from her chair. I'm quick to offer washing our dishes but the woman turns to her son instead. "Jes-ee-ah. Can you clean the table off?" My lover nods. We're exchanging glances since it seems that Winna wants to talk with me alone. Yup. She's heading for the front room and waving me to go join her there. The woman plops down on the couch. I timidly sit down beside her. I'm tensing up from what I expect is going to be a scolding. Winna's voice is but a whisper. "Mike. I'm noticing something about you that, well... You're taking things too hard. What I'm trying to say is that you need to relax." She's probably read my uneasiness from my face. I release my held breath and try to relax as she's asked. "You're a worrier. I've seen the way you react to things and it's going to eat you up inside. I know what you and Jes-ee-ah have been going through. It's a marvel that you didn't run away. You are facing challenges but you need to let things you can't control pass through you like the wind. An old tree bends in a storm and doesn't break. Try to accept things. I am." I hear what she's trying to say. Harder with the doing, though. My stomach has been hurting me a lot of late. "I just wanted to let you know." Winna hasn't met my eyes when she said all that. She probably thinks I'm going to get mad or something. I reach out to touch her arm, letting her know that I appreciate her advice. "Mike. I've only known you for a few weeks. I've not had a white... Ah, someone other than my son in the house for a long while. My husband left us three years ago." "I appreciate that you're allowing me to stay with your son. I know how hard this must be for you." Winna peers into my eyes that forewarns what she really wants to say to me. I don't flinch. Winna drops her gaze. "Yes. It is, but I know that you both need to be together. If not in my house, Jes would end up in an apartment somewhere or follow you back to Indiana. I want him here in case... Ah. Look, Mike. If you were to leave Jes-ee-ah as it often happens with guys like you, I'll be there to comfort my son." That stung. Yet I'm not angry with what she's said. I've heard this too about gay guys who can't seem to settle down. The temptation is too great in trying to find someone better than the current boyfriend. I'm not like that! Ron wasn't either. He'd been with Running Water for nearly six years. Jes was just a conquest for him. Well. Maybe more than that but he wouldn't have left his current lover for him. That wouldn't have been allowed anyway. Jes was just a kid then. "I didn't mean to upset you," Winna whispers. "I'm not. I know what you're talking about but I'm not like them! Jes and I are going to be together until we die. We've asked grandfather if he'll marry us. He's going to do that for us next month." Winna flares her eyes. I'm realizing that I could have told her that in a better way. "No one asked me." I'm looking down at the small bundle hanging from my neck. She suspected that our wedding bands are inside it. She knew. "I'm... not against it, Mike. I would be happy that the two of you are making that kind of commitment." "Thank you. Jes and I should have... maybe asked for your permission or something. I've never fell in love before. This is all new to me and it's harder because of who we are." I hope she knows what I'm trying to say. "I won't be running off with your son either. He still needs you. I do, too. That's why I'm offering to pay off the loan on your house. We're going to live here with you." "Do you have enough money for that? You're not working now, Mike. I won't have you cleaning out your savings and not have anything left to live on." "I'll have enough left over." Winna stares at me to read the truth of my words. "I plan on buying a pickup truck. Everyone around these parts drives one and from what I've seen of your winters and the bad road conditions, I can see why." "Mike. You can use my husband's pickup that's in the garage. It only needs to be fixed up so you won't need to spend money on a new one." "Thanks for your offer." It seems that Winna is going to say something more about that but she doesn't. An uneasy silence comes between us. I'm fidgeting over the couch. She takes a deep breath. "Are you sure you want to pay off the loan on my house, Mike? It won't be easy to get your money out of it unless it's sold or a second mortgage is taken on it." "I'm not worried about that. You were right. The bank isn't going to be paying me anything decent in interest. Your mortgage interest is higher. I don't want you worrying about coming up with the money to pay each month on your loan. This will ensure that you and Jes have a home to live in." "Mike... It's going to be your home, too. Thank you! I'll deed half of it to you so it's all legal and proper." "If you must. I would feel better about that if we can make an arrangement where you alone have the say in selling it or taking out a second mortgage." In a lower voice, "I don't want what your husband did to you and Jes ever happening again." "You wouldn't do that to us, Mike. We'll have something written up where it takes both our signatures to do anything with the house's equity." I'm impressed. This woman knows her stuff. "Okay. It's going to take up to ten days before my money transfers from Indiana to the bank here in Havre. We'll make arrangements then." "Are you sure you'll have enough to live on, Mike?" I'm nodding my head. "I can tell you how much I have if you want to know. I'm still earning Royalties on some computer programs that are selling in the stores." "That's not necessary. Oh, Mike. I want to thank you for what you're doing for us! I'm hoping that Mr. Spencer will give me back my job." "Me too." Something else I'm planning to help her and Jes with comes to mind. "I want to buy a desktop computer for both of you. That way, you can practice MS-Word that you need to know for your job. Jes can work on it to improve his writing skills and such since he's not going to school." Winna takes my hand into hers. I'm feeling like the good son who's taking care of his mother. "Thank you." Winna goes deep into thought. "Mike. My son is soon to undergo training as shaman of his tribe." I knew that. What is she trying to tell me? "Jes-ee-ah will be with his grandfather for weeks at a time. You may not get a chance to... see him. There's so much my son needs to learn from him before... You know what I mean." I've seen the age of our grandfather. There might not be that many more moons left before he goes Above. I wonder why he didn't train someone earlier to follow in his footsteps as shaman and I mention this to Winna. A dark expression comes over her face. "He was training one of Hawk-in-sky's sons but he was killed." My eyes widen in horror. I'm getting the impression that they don't know who murdered the boy. "How long ago did that happen?" My voice was but a whisper. Winna closes her eyes and shakes her head. She won't tell me. An uneasy silence comes between us. I won't press her about it. Maybe I'll ask grandfather what happened. I'm glancing at the wall clock. It reads 10:18. "You should get ready for your appointment." I remain in the front room when Winna goes to get dressed. Soon after, Jes enters the room and drops into the couch beside me. "What was that all about?" I'm surprised. "Don't you know from peeking in my head?" "I promised not to do that. Are you going to pay off her house?" I give Jesse a suspicious look. "You told mom that you were yesterday. Remember?" "You're right." I revert into Thinking to my lover. :Your mom and I also discussed some other things.: I'm leaning closer to Jes to let him know that he can Pull it from my head. I only hold back that one scary thing from him. There's the familiar sensation... :Wow. You popped the question to mom!: It still surprises me that Jesse has picked up the lingo with him being an Indian and sheltered for most of his life, autistic and all. :I watch TV.: :Yeah. They show everything on that, don't they?: :We didn't ask mom's permission about getting married. Did we?: :She knew, Jes. Remember when she invited me over for dinner and she was getting so mad about us being together that I handed over my bundle holding our wedding rings? She knew what I meant by that gesture. That we needed her approval to be together. She returned it to me later though.: :I remember. But those are only mere symbols of our love. If she hadn't, I would have run away with you.: :That's why she returned our rings. Winna feared that you would have if she were against us being together. That's part of the reason why I want to pay off the mortgage to her house to assure her that this is where we're going to live together. It would be wrong to take you away from here. I don't know what the future may bring. Jes? If something were to happen to me, I'd want you to have someone to look out for you.: :We're going to be together until we die! Aren't we?: :Yes. I swear that I'm not going to leave you if I can help it... You've seen things happen that have messed up our lives. I'm facing trial. My lawyer says that I'll likely be cleared of those charges but there are other problems. Maybe your tribe won't accept that I'm with you. I'm not going to interfere with your training to be shaman 'cause grandfather doesn't have anyone else.: I guard against him knowing what Winna told me about that previous shaman-in-training. :Grandfather has Seen that I'll be walking in his footsteps!: I'm at a loss. How do I explain this to Jesse without him knowing how I fear for him? The future is an unsure place that no one can predict. Look at what happened to Hawk-in-sky's son who grandfather was training to be shaman. I guarded that last thought from my lover. I don't want to scare him. :Mike. The one thing you need to learn before you're truly part of my tribe is to have faith. We live our lives knowing that our Father loves us. He has set the sacred path that we're to walk along to achieve a good life.: I'm lowering my eyes from Jesse. :Yet bad things can happen that the People cannot control. Chris saw many of the People killed by them soldiers and he was taken from his lover by that Trickster. The same man who still walks free today! He might come after us or those we love.: I regret Voicing my greatest fear with Jes. He's already going though so much. :Like my mom said, you worry too much. I'm not saying that something bad won't happen. I'm afraid of what Eli Kie might do next. Maybe he murdered Hawk-in-sky's son.: So. Jes gleaned what I tried hiding from him. I'm afraid for my lover! Eli Kie may act again for his Dark Master to deny the People their shaman. Then who will protect them from Evil? :I'm not ignoring that danger. We must live our lives in accordance to our Father's Great Plan. He's put a spirit into us to guide and protect us so that our task will be done. You and I are to bring a truth to the People. Not just for us but to bring acceptance for others who are like us so they'll have a chance at happiness as we have.: Jesse embraces me in a rush. We're kissing. I Share my lover's fears about what the future may bring. He believes in the Power of that spirit inside us. I sure hope it can protect us from Evil. :We have this moment. Like you've said before, Mike. Let's not allow happiness to slip us by.: I'm kissing Jes like there's no tomorrow. Winna is dressed in her best clothes when she leaves the house. I assured the woman that Jes will be put out of sight when my visitors arrive. That was a concession on her son's part. He'll hide out in his mother's bedroom. For half an hour, Jes and I take to cleaning up the house. I'm enjoying the vacuuming. The clock chimes eleven in the living room so we have an hour to kill. "We should clean ourselves up now," Jes hints. A sly grin comes to my lips. We head to the bathroom. Jes unties the eagle's feather from his hair while I set my bundle beside it on a shelf. We undress. I'm noticing again how long my lover's arms and legs are. He's rather thin, too. His underwear drops to a pair of brown feet. In play, Jes steps over my larger white feet. I grasp his waist to help him keep balance. We peer into each other's eyes with love then we're dropping our gaze to look down on our nakedness. My body is white and hairy. I stand taller than Jes whose body is much thinner, smooth and very brown. His tuft of black hair catches my eye. Sprouting below it is a cute foreskinned dick. I'm envious that his knob is protected within that brown folding of skin while my pink knob is always exposed and gets chafed by my jeans. I'd left my underwear back in the bedroom. I see where Jesse's eyes are looking low at me. He pulls on my waist to bring our cocks together. They kiss in warmth. My breath trembles with lust. I'm quickly getting hard but its lifting is prevented by being mashed against his dick. Two swans' necks intertwined, that's what they look like. I'm reaching around for Jes' little butt while he reaches higher to grasp my shoulders from behind. I know what he wants us to do. I'm lifting him off my feet, our arms strain for a moment until his legs fold around my butt. They tighten and loosen with a sensual rhythm. We peer into each other's eyes again. I see the excitement in his when we begin making love. My hands pull over his soft butt in beat to his surging legs. His chest slides over mine. I feel his hard tits running over mine that's such a tickly sensation! Below, our cocks have straightened up and mash together with thrills building in them. Love bursts in my heart! Jesse buries his face in my neck. I'm surprised that he doesn't want to kiss. Oh, but he is. I feel his hungry mouthing while my lips find his left earlobe. Our male bodies strain to fulfill themselves. I know that it's going to be a good coming out for us. :Jes? You can mark me as your lover.: I want him to give me hickey. :I don't need anyone's approval to see that I am.: :Do it for me then?: Jesse starts sucking on my neck. Hard. Tears of joy sting my eyes. "I love you!" I'd whispered that in his ear. He turns his face towards me and with the lifting of his chin, our lips meet. We kiss. I'm not surprised that he keeps his eyes closed. My hands surge over Jesse's little behind. His folded legs tighten around my ass to keep our cocks pressed together and unmoving. They can't stab. I'm wondering about this until he explains it. :Let's not rush to it, Mike.: I know what he means. We've been so frantic to come out in earlier love makings because they'd been stolen moments in his garage, in his front room when he came to me in the night and inside his cousin's outhouse. We feared discovery so we always rushed with it. We don't have to anymore. Jes breaks from our kissing to catch his breath. His small body clings tightly to mine, unmoving. Our dicks are tingling with good sensations. I blow my breath into his face. He takes me into his lungs. I'm in awe from seeing him doing that. :We're inside each other in every way.: "Yes." We're giving each other love eyes. I can't get enough of him! Jesse's face fills with deep longing when his legs resume their beat around my butt. I'm pulling over his. Utter lust drives me towards male fulfillment but we manage to stop ourselves in the nick of time. Ahh! We're Feeling so intense that it's almost a pain that we didn't come out. I'm about to give my lover a kiss but stop myself. If I were to, I'd cum. We stare at each other for a long sweet moment. I still can't believe that that kid I'd seen in my class who I hoped would like me the same way I wanted him... has. :I noticed your interest in me but with my mom there, I was too shy to return your gazes. I'm sorry that I didn't shake your hand after class. I wanted to, then I'd know if you were like Ron. I was afraid that mom would get suspicious.: I know that Jesse's ability is that he can Read what a person is feeling by touching them. That's been heightened after the Passing of that Power Bundle's spirit into us. I'm able to do this myself, too. I think back to that night after class when Jes and I first touched. Hmm. Was it inside Winna's truck? :Silly! It was before we got into my mom's truck. You had gotten off your motorcycle and I was handing you your satchel. Our fingers brushed. What you were feeling for me came strong into my head. I think you felt something too. That's when I knew you were hoping that I liked you in the same way you liked me.: I revert into speaking out loud. "I didn't know for sure. Only hoped." "I'd seen that longing look in your eyes when you said goodnight to us. Luckily, my mom invited you over for dinner." "I'm glad she did." We both relive our first kiss. It was clumsily done, coming after my aborted attempt earlier that evening. I still wasn't sure if Jes liked me because my kiss seemed to shock him. :I did like it, Mike! I was a bit startled because no one had ever kissed me before. At that moment, I gave my heart to you.: :And I gave you mine.: Our faces come together for a kiss. A brief one like the one I stolen from him on the couch on that wonderful night. Jes gives me shy eyes. Longing fills them when he repeats what our second kiss had been like. He even bumps noses with me like we did before. Our third kiss had lasted longer with our lips moving against each other. We had to stop out of fear that his mom might catch us. :She did last night.: :Yeah. Do you think it's shocked her?: :She wasn't angry or anything. It was good that she saw us kiss because I think she realized at that moment that I wasn't just a kid anymore. I'm not.: :No. You're not.: Deep longing returns to Jesse's face when his legs tighten around my ass. I pull over his pair of cheeks to mash our cocks together. The neat sensations in them build to ever increasing thrills. We're staring at each other, waiting for that moment when we'll cum. I want to see that male joy in his eyes. :Me too! I'm glad that you can do it forward now.: He means when I was only able to get off between my thighs. That was a lone act I'd been doing since boyhood. At nine, I first learned how to thrill my erection that couldn't squirt until I was twelve and a half and then, only a clear liquid had shot to my thighs. I'd been scared that I hurt myself but realized it meant I was becoming a man. My nightly releases didn't turn thick and white until I was thirteen. I've never had sex with anyone (cumming out that is) until that night Jes slept with me in the front room. He could get his dick off and did so twice with me. It surprised me that he never masturbates. Ron showed him how good it felt to come out. My eyes focus on Jesse's face after coming out of my thoughts. He'd Heard them but didn't comment. I'm glad. It's still a bit embarrassing for me how I get off between my thighs. I don't need to do that anymore. I've become a man because of Jesse. Breaths are blowing through our noses. My heated body strains with his towards fulfillment. It's going to happen soon. I'm pulling over Jesse's little butt, making stabs against his dick while he keeps his legs tight around my butt. The exertion from our love making fills my nose with smells of sweat, a faint sweet odor coming from our dripping cocks and Jesse's breath reminds me that we'd eaten cornflakes this morning. I lean my face close to his for another taste. :Silly!: Jes sticks out his pink tongue at me. Before I could suck on it, he pulls it back into his mouth that remains open because of his urgent need to take breaths. I'm watching his eyes to catch the moment when he cums. We're usually kissing and he keeps them shut. Our chins bump. Jesse turns his face a little sideways in a gesture for us to kiss. I'm shaking my head. :I want to see you doing it. In your eyes! And let's not Share this time. I want to know what normal guys feel like when they are doing it.: :Okay.: Some shyness comes into Jesse's eyes but they return to that deep longing expression that comes from a man. His fingers dig painfully into my shoulders. His legs are so tight around my butt that our stabbing comes from my savage handling of his butt. I'm bucking hard against him. He's holding breaths. I am too. That helps deepen the sharp thrills filling our dicks. A kind of pained look comes into Jesse's face. His eyes are narrowing. He blows out his breath against my face that turns into a boyish outcry. I feel a liquid warmth to my belly. My lover's eyes flutter. He's done it! That sends me over the edge so I grunt out and cum. For a moment, I lose my eyes. My thrills are intense but short lived. Jesse's face reappears and there's such a manly expression on it. He's gasping for breath. I lean over to press my lips over his in a brief victory kiss. My sharp exhale blows into his mouth. "Mike..." "Yeah. I know." We take a few more breaths and try kissing again. This moment together after release is so sweet! Jes loosens his legs around me. His wet body slips down mine until we're facing each other with bright eyes. "It's almost... the same," gasps Jesse. He means how we felt from making love but not Sharing it with each other. It is almost that same joy. A sharp smell fills my nose. I see where I've wet to Jesse's belly. Some is gathered into my fingers and ritually swirled over his balls. He Asks me why I'm doing that. I recall a fond memory of Christopher watching some Indian youths performing this same male rite by using what came out of his dick. I'm Sharing it with my lover.(2) Exciting images fill our heads. On Christopher's first morning in the Blackfoot camp (actually, Owopspec had dropped him at its furthest edge), a group of young boys had found him. Most were naked but a breech-clad youth sat in his lap facing him to share in a common male pleasure rite. They'd belly rubbed. What Chris squirted to that boy's belly was ritually wiped over a little boy's loins so his body would mature. It was believed that's how male virility was passed into boys so they would grow up into men. :Your former self had lots of fun with the boys of my tribe long ago.: I'm nodding with an amused grin on my face. Jesse's loins have already matured so they don't need to be empowered with my seed like those boys. I lower my face to his body and take a sniff. "You're sweet smelling." "We should shower before they come." "Okay. You're not too shy to take a shower with me being naked and all?" Jes reveals shyness to my remark. He's made love to me but joining him in the tub is another matter. Strange, that! I'm pulling the shower curtain to one side so we can get in. *** (1) Robert Mirabal sings an account of soldiers attacking a Pueblo village in his music CD, 'Indians Indians' entitled: "Governor Bent's Song". What follows are his sung words I found hauntingly beautiful, and sad. "In the mornin' I heard the choir. Oh wake up grandpa. Wake up grandma. There is trouble, grow in the air. Soldiers comin'. Cry the cry ah ah. "Get your women and the children to a safe and holy place. The bullets are hittin' our pueblo walls. String the bows. Sharpen your arrows. Let them fly into the rain. "Rain of silver. Rain of silver. Grandma, grandma. Grandpa's dyin' ah ah. Let go of the blanket. Let him go. He is taken to the happy huntin'. Hunting grounds. Happy hunting. Hunting grounds. He is taken... to the hunt ah ah. Happy hunting. Hunting ground." 'Mira-Man' sings in his own unique style of traditional Native American songs and modernism. You really need to hear him for yourself. The three CD's I can recommend are: 'Taos Tale', 'WARRIOR/magician' and my latest discovery at the music store, 'Indians Indians' whose first song on the CD hurt my heart by how it resonated with Christopher's account of the soldiers attacking his Blackfoot village that left him grieving too. (2) You can read this account of Christopher's in the "Bare Butt Brave" series posted on the Nifty Archive: www.nifty.org/ Some of my readers have asked about who I am. Native American myself? No. I'm just a wanna be with a little Indian blood coming down from my mother's grandfather. I have been writing stories since the summer of 1988 to put into the words some of the fantasies I've had about Indian boys coming from my childhood. It is not my intent to offend or cause a hurt to these People. I had distributed my printed booklets in the A Different Light bookstores throughout the United States but now post exclusively through Nifty Archive. My thanks to David for having this Internet site for writers to more easily distribute their stories to readers who may become inspired to post their own. The circle comes around upon itself. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of file: NEWLUV15.TXT The story continues in: NEWLUV16.TXT