WARNING: This fictional story contains sexual accounts between men and boys, boys with boys along with an account of bestiality. IT IS UNSUITABLE FOR READING BY MINORS UNDER THE AGE OF TWENTY-ONE. You should know whether you want to be reading this or not! ************************************************************************** * * * "Shaman Willow Bird" * * * * by Vince Water * * * * * * This short story begins the 4th series to the "Willow Bird" saga. * * The three previous novels were "Willow Bird Finds His Love", * * "Brave Willow Bird" and "Willow Bird, Warrior". A related story, * * "Song Bird's Story of Love" was printed in the `Pottery Shards' * * collection of short stories. There's another related story to be * * read: "The Sisters' Rite of Passing Seed from One to the Other". * * And most importantly, you should have read the prelude to this * * series: "Willow Bird's Returning Spirit". By reading all these * * previous accounts, you'll understand what's been happening to * * Willow Bird In His Own Words as he faces the challenges in this * * final series of stories. * * * * February 2001 * ************************************************************************** Welcome to the reading adventures of my Indian boy stories! PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS STORY IS OF AN ADULT GAY CONTENT, UNSUITABLE FOR MINORS UNDER THE AGE OF TWENTY-ONE. Authorization for the free transmission of my unaltered writings to an APPROPRIATE ADULT SITE is hereby approved. - Vince Water - My E-Mail address is: Vince_Water@HotMail.com and Vince_Water@Yahoo.com I've authored some other stories about Indian boys: 'Rites of Boyhood', 'Big Horn's Path into the Mahyee-na', 'Pottery Shards (and other short stories)', 'Bare Butt Brave', 'Indian Boys at Play', 'For the Love of Indian Boys', 'Even MORE Love Stories of Indian Boys', 'The Sisters' Rite of Passing Seed from One to the Other' and 'Willow Bird's Returning Spirit'. All these stories can be found on the Nifty Archive at www.Nifty.Org/ - look on their main home page and click the heading: AMERICAN INDIANS STORIES BY VINCE WATER, RICHARD AMORY AND... Visit my egroup site on the web at: www.egroups.com/group/vincewater It contains image scans to all the original artwork and illustrations used in the printed booklets along with nude images of Indian men and boys. You first need to be a general member to EGROUPS.COM before accessing my egroup. "Shaman Willow Bird" (series of stories) Copyright 2001 by Vince Water All rights reserved. This text is being distributed by the Nifty Archive - find them on the Internet at: www.Nifty.Org/ {Thank you, David!} All of the characters in this story are fictitious, and any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, with the exceptions of Indian Tribal names and other historical references, is purely coincidental. I'm compiling an appendix containing descriptions for all the events, places, people and Indian terms used throughout the 'Willow Bird' series. Background information never revealed in the stories is also included. When completed, I'll post it with the Nifty Archive as the file: APPENDIX.TXT ***************************************************************************** SHAMAN-WILLOW-BIRD-1 "Shaman Willow Bird" Shaman Willow Bird (part 1) Copyright 2001 by Vince Water ***************************************************************************** * "Shaman Willow Bird" * * (part 1) * Flashes of Golden Light too brilliant to behold fill my eyes. Instead of blinding me, I glimpse the workings of the Great Mystery! His loving Hand is upon everything being held close to His loving breast. Our Mother Earth is but one of such lands (countless, like the stars!) that He cares for. My spirit has been loosened from my body to join in His great cause. I've become like a golden eagle. Soaring ever higher. The path to the Above is as clear to me as following a beam of sunlight. I'm stopped at the Veil though. Prevented from enjoining the utter joy of loved ones where they now dwell: Big Horn and my father. I can hear their voices calling out to me! Beautiful sounds fill my ears. The whisperings of things that I cannot comprehend. I strain to listen to them all, a multitude of voices filled with wisdom that I'm trying to capture into my palm like rain water. Foremost, I hear my father's pleading unto me. Asking me to go back down. But I don't want to! I long to be with Sings Brightly again; to embrace his love and protection as any son needs from his father. He had gone away when I was ten. I cast myself against the Veil so that I can join him in the Above yet I'm held back by unseen hands. 'Willow Bird, my son. Hear me.' I acknowledge my dead father who yet lives with the Sky People. His words are heard inside my head. Radiant love from him reaches out to my spirit like a blazing fire. I focus on his thoughts. 'You were my first and beloved son, named for the bird I saw perched in a great willow I sat under when awaiting your arrival into the world. It was a beautiful bird; small and carefree but knowing that his safety was in that tree. When you were born, Warm Hands and I gave you that name for you were small like that bird. I was that willow tree who kept you safe.' 'But you were taken from me!' 'Yes, my son. Big Horn took my place and he set you on the right path. Another will train you to lead our People into the Light. Go back down!' 'No!' My defiant thought flows easily from me like water running in a river. I feel shame though for going against my father's wishes. 'My love, listen to your father.' I recognize that voice. It is Big Horn. My heart goes out to him, filling with joy mixed with bitterness; much sadness. He too had been taken from me. 'It is not yet your time to be Here. The same evil who had taken my life still dwells below and he will loosen other good spirits before they should come Here. You have the power to stop him. But only if you accept it! Listen to your father and go back down. Be the shaman of our People. All the greatness that you are to become is within you, Willow Bird.' A faint whisper draws my attention downwards: 'Return to us, Willow Bird.' These words come from a young shaman-in-training. Another pleading: 'My brother, come back down!' These living voices become a chorus. I'm stopped at the Veil so the only path that I can take is down. Another voice pleads to me. A boy's yearning that tugs at my heart so I cast my Sight down to him. It's Crying Loon. Anguish fills my heart because of his love for me. He turns me away from the Veil. The beautiful voices behind me fade away... But how do I get back down? Snarling Bear had Shown me this way up and he traded his place in the Above with our tribe's shaman. Now, I'm floating alone. Stuck at the closed door with a frightening abyss below my feet. 'You are not alone...' I See Smiles A Lot's spirit. There are two other glowing balls with him. Almost within my reach! I fear falling into darkness if I were to step from the Veil. Smiles A Lot sees my plight. He calls upon the help of a youthful spirit that I recognize but cannot name. A living force that dwells not in flesh. In a silvery flash, I find myself carried back down inside my body: my earthly vessel that holds my spirit. This is where I must dwell for a while longer. Firelight dances behind my eyelids. I hear the crackling of burning wood. Its heat burns my skin. My body is drowned in cooling perspiration; tickly lines snake down my arms, chest and back. Bodily warmth surrounds me - hugging me close. I smell burnt sage that reminds me of a shaman's ritual. My sleepy eyes clear enough for me to see. Crying Loon holds me close; his sweet kisses are tickling my chest. I feel his male strength against mine. Though my body is weary, I meet the challenge of my young lover. Thrust! My arms lift from the ground to hold my boy. His slim body strains against mine. Crying Loon notices my awakening. His bright eyes lift and peer up at me with hope, love and sexual excitement. Does he see the love in my eyes for him? His thin legs are bent around my legs, flexing over me to rub our groins together. My left hand roams down Crying Loon's sweaty back to feel his butt. There's a nice humping to them. He needs no guidance from me to pace his thrusts. The boy's tense body is like a strung bow. I enjoy feeling his fleshy arrow aimed at my belly, rubbing over mine with a steady beat. He's bringing us towards release. Such a sweet, needing boy in my arms! Behind me, I feel lusty stabs going into my butt. It's Second Bird who joins his fiery body to mine. A brotherly expression of love. We've mated thusly before and I feel no guilt from incest; we are both male, joined together in the sacred society of the Mahyee-na. My hard body responds to being loved! I clutch the boy's nakedness to coax his urgent male expression. His small stabs battle against my cock's bigger stabs. I accept Crying Loon as my young lover that helps ease my loss for another boy. Behind me, I welcome the love from my brother. His cock is giving my butt some pain. A laugh escapes from my mouth. Our bodies are nearly the same, like glancing into a still pool of water that shows my reflection. Yet Second Bird's spirit differs from mine - not open to the Golden Path of the Great Mystery as mine has been. I have Seen many things. Words would be too clumsy to describe any of them. The wondrous beauty and awe of His workings that goes mostly unnoticed. My heart knows the truth of it All. Crying Loon reminds me of simpler pleasures. His sensual touch over my body fills me with good feelings. Our arms are wrapped around one another, legs straining to drive our male motion, his small chest is pressed against my chest that he smothers with kisses. I press my nose down into the boy's hair to smell him. Soft moans. A lusty grunt behind me. The fire crackles happily as it consumes wood. My breath trembles from excitement and the joy to be in the loving arms of others. I'm glad to be alive! Crying Loon's efforts turn frantic. His knees bend up and down to stab his dick against me. I can barely keep hold of his wild sweaty butt. My butt is getting pounded by my brother, filled with his hard cock that withdraws before stabbing in again. I gulp in another breath. Pull over the boy's butt to drive my thrusts. It's very pleasurable! I sense that Crying Loon is nearing climax. He no longer kisses my breast and his breaths are being held. The boy lifts his face to peer up at me. I see the fire in his wide dark eyes, love for me mingled with sexual thrills and a youth's excitement. I lower my face to his for a kiss. "Oh... Willow Bird!" His sweet voice calls out to me. Eyes are fluttering. I feel Crying Loon's strong spurts to my belly as he fulfills his male self. My heart Sees much more. This boy loves me through the limited understanding that comes from flesh entrapped spirit. He needs to be loved, to be guided by an older brother he's never had and for sexual pleasure. Those are not bad reasons to love but are revealing to me as youthful innocence. My eyes Look at him. I peer into the shadows of his being that hides a secret about someone... Big Horn?! There's no sense of jealously in me; only sadness. I understand what the boy had sought from Big Horn and how his love was not returned. An evil tool of the Darkness-that-comes had used this youth. Drew away some of his power. The Trickster covered the tracks of what he'd done to Crying Loon by burying the boy's memory that included Big Horn. I perceive the workings of his evil spell. It's like a dusty spider web that can be cleared away with a wave of my hand. I reach out to the youth and kiss his forehead. Crying Loon gasps. He blinks his eyes as if awakening from a deep sleep. When his arms loosen from my back, I keep the boy close to me with a fierce hug. He begins to cry. I share in his pain and know the healing affect of it. There's a lusty grunt behind me. I feel the painful stiffening from Second Bird's cock when he shoots in my butt. My cheeks flex to enhance his brief male thrills. My own fulfillment is denied me though. I have a hard cock covered with boyish sweetness flowing down from my belly yet my stabs are ended. I'm content to rest within the arms of two human beings. I love them beyond the needs of my flesh. When Crying Loon struggles from my arms, I allow the boy to flee. He staggers to his feet and leaves our ritual circle. There's a haunted look on his face. Yes. A revelation from awakened memories can be difficult to endure. I watch Smiles A Lot dress him back into his breechclout. A flap is folded over the boy's belt in front to cover his dripping dick. Another covers his sweaty rear end. How gentle Smiles A Lot's hands are over the youth that reveals a woman's touch. Crying Loon goes to his sleeping father by the door. With a nudge, the warrior awakens with a start. Low words are spoken between them. Bending Arrow rises to his feet, stares in my direction with awe showing in his eyes before he takes his son outside. A grayness fills my eyes. I'm reminded that my flesh is very weak from enduring days of fasting. If it weren't for my brother's arms, I'd have fallen to the dirt like a grass doll. "Are you alright?" asks Second Bird. I release a weary sigh. "Yes, my brother. I'm going to need your help." "For what?" (Second Bird notices his brother's sagging head against his chest.) "You eat and rest now," scolds Smiles A Lot. I turn my face towards that voice. Smiles A Lot kneels before me with much concern showing on his face. When I reach out to grip his arm, my mind fills with his thoughts. I know that he's worried about me and that he wants me to sleep. "Listen to him, Willow Bird. You've not eaten for days when you were Dreaming and it was with his help that your spirit has been brought back down from the Above!" A grin blossoms on my face. I'm feeling like the mighty chief being fussed over by his wife and family after suffering from an illness. A yawn escapes from my lips. I am feeling very tired. My mind races with the many things needing to be done though. Something is placed into my hands. I smell the soup and feel a deep pang of hunger from my stomach. My hands tremble too much though. Smiles A Lot helps lift the wooden bowl to my lips so that I can drink from it. Second Bird is restless behind me. He helps hold me up but I sense his need to relieve himself. His oozing cock slips from my hole, stiff with its need to piss. I quickly finish the rabbit soup. Smiles A Lot takes away the bowl and my brother gently lowers me down to the ground mat. "Sleep, now. We'll talk after you've rested." I simply nod at my brother's words. My hand lowers to my wet loins, hard and really aching me! Without feeling any embarrassment, I pull over my slippery foreskin while they watch. My eyes close. Brotherly love has filled my butt and the boy's sweet essence helps coax my own release. My hand sets a gentle, soothing pace. I hump my butt against the sweat-soaked ground mat. Breaths rush through my open mouth. My male body strains for release! I feel lips pressing over mine but when my eyes open, I see that it's not my brother. I squirt to my belly. Ah, so pleasurable! Its soothing affect helps me to go to sleep. Silvery moonlight fills my being. I feel airy and light like a feather without the constrains of my body. It is a freeing sensation but also scary. When I try holding onto something, I can't find my hands! A wind blows me up through the lodge's smoke hole and casts me into the night. After much concentration, I manage to sit over the lodge's wood-beamed roof. The tipis of my tribe are crowded around me. I See glowing balls within them: the living spirits of my People. I too am a glowing ball! It's a strange sensation to perceive my spirit without a familiar body to hold me inside. 'Have I died?' Someone giggles at me though I cannot see them. 'No, Willow Bird. Come with me so that things will be revealed to you.' I roll over the lodge to find that voice. 'Where are you? WHO are you?' Another giggle. I sense that it's another spirit who has been guiding my steps. 'You know who I am. Come with me and don't be afraid!' I'm blown high into the sky and across the guarded river. Glowing balls stand in a line on each side. When I concentrate on them, the men's bodies can be seen. Being in spirit has given me new eyes. I view the world differently than if I were in my body. My Guardian pulls me over the many tipis of the Split Tribe and it's a wondrous sight! So many good People. I feel the power of all their lives and am drawn down to them. 'Not that way!' I'm hurriedly pulled towards the trees. Their high branches brush past me without striking though I still flinch. We soar higher. The stars shine nicely above but I know not to go there. When I look down, there's a silvery thong connecting me to the earth. It curls away like unbroken smoke. My path to follow when I need to return inside my body. 'Yes, Willow Bird. But not yet. I want to find my body that was stolen from you by Darkness!' The trees rush by like shadowy giants. Moonlight spills over many leaves and branches that pass through my being like fog. I'm being taken somewhere. We're gently falling to the ground. What a tremendous sensation to be flying! Freer than a bird. Nothing can harm me when I'm flying in spirit form! 'Beware the Darkness, Willow Bird. That could cut your life cord and end your earthly existence.' I hearken to my Guardian's warning. My spirit begins to feel a chilly breath. Fear! We bounce over the ground, closer to some Darkness. Closing onto danger! When I'm about to flee, I hear a whimpering against a great oak tree. I see a glowing ball that solidifies into the form of a small boy. We settle down at the youth's feet. I'm feeling afraid but my curiosity keeps me still. Who is this boy? 'He has taken another victim!' screams the spirit Guardian. I see thong tied around the boy's feet. He is naked and vulnerable lying against the oak tree. Trembling from pain; great fear! When looking upon his face, I see that it's Running Wolf, son of warrior Stands Tall of the Split Tribe. He is in danger! 'Yes, Willow Bird. Evil is nearby that wants to eat of this boy's life. He is the one who possesses my body.' Before I can ask my Guardian to explain, a dark-skinned form rushes to Running Wolf. His glowing ball is much darkened as if he's close to death. He bends over the youth. Lustfully fondles his small bottom like a melon he's going to eat. I notice blood-red stripes over his butt. Fire ash covers his nakedness. Harsh recognition comes to me - this is a Trickster! Short and younger than the evil brave Big Horn and I had conquered last summer. 'See what's on his finger?' I follow my spirit Guardian's direction. Upon the Trickster's right hand is a silver band. My ring that was stolen from Yellow Hair! 'I am the spirit of that ring,' explains the Guardian. 'So long as he wears my body, Power is twisted towards evil aims...' I know of what he speaks. Anyone wearing that ring can wish for things and hide in shadows. A fearsome power! 'No, Willow Bird. Only the one Given me can do all that. It denies my spirit a resting place or to act fully for the Light.' 'We must help Running Wolf!' 'Yes. You must return into your body so that you can save that boy. You are too weak yet to challenge Evil. Remember me, Willow Bird. I need to be rescued as well.' Angry red eyes peer in our direction. The Trickster Sees us! His glowing ball brightens with the power of Darkness when Something draws into his body and grants him strength. My spirit quakes. I'm tossed about like a leaf caught in a fierce storm. Terrible coldness saps my power - tries to crush my glowing! I hear a boy's warning cry that leads me up and away. My silvery thong is followed back over the river and down through the lodge's smoke hole. I awaken with a start. The stillness surprises me after the stormy terror from a moment ago. A fire crackles in the middle of the lodge. The effect is soothing. I notice several people laying around me: the shaman, Smiles A Lot and Second Bird. They are sleeping peacefully. I must have had a bad dream. A shaft of moonlight comes down from the lodge's smoke hole, striking the floor like a circlet of silver. It's a strong portent. 'Act quickly, Willow Bird!' I gasp with fear. That was no dream and Running Wolf is in danger! When I try standing up, my body fails me. I fall back down to my mat with a loud thud. "What's wrong?" asks Second Bird, sleepily. "Help me, my brother!" He rushes to my side and grasps my right hand. Pain shoots through my arms and legs from my wolf bites. I try returning to my feet with Second Bird's help. "You should rest." "No! We must save Running Wolf," I shout. The lodge stirs with activity. Smiles A Lot rushes to my side and with my brother's help, they restrain my arms and legs. "Help me! I've Seen the Trickster across the river and he's taken Running Wolf into the woods to kill him. We must save him!" I feel Smiles A Lot relaxing his grip of my legs. Second Bird continues to hold me down over my ground mat. I hear his thoughts: 'He will hurt himself if I don't restrain him.' "Let me go, my brother! You will be hurting Running Wolf if you keep me restrained!" My words startle Second Bird. When his arms relax, I try standing up. Smiles A Lot comes to my side. I grasp his arm for support. 'What does Willow Bird fear? I don't understand...' I direct my thoughts at Smiles A Lot. 'I must get across the river to save Running Wolf from the Trickster! They're in the woods. Near the Split Tribe where a great oak tree stands. Help me!' Smiles A Lot gasps. "In my head, Willow Bird?!" Those spoken words echo what I hear in my head coming from Smiles A Lot. I also hear my brother's thoughts that reveal his confusion and concern for me. Words are too clumsy and slow to explain the danger. I show them my Dream that had come to me when I was flying in spirit form. It takes only a few heart beats. 'You are too weak and untrained to fight the Trickster,' thinks Smiles A Lot. 'I know. Yet the warriors of the Split Tribe can be rallied to save Running Wolf.' Second Bird and Smiles A Lot glance at each other and decide. They help carry me towards the door. 'Stay, Smiles A Lot. You risk suffering the wrath of the Split Tribe... and my own People if you come with me.' "I will accompany Willow Bird," says Second Bird. I think this to Smiles A Lot and he relents. A breechclout flap is fetched from the ground and held over my groin by a thong belt Smiles A Lot ties around my waist. I recall that Crying Loon had taken back his two flaps which leaves me nothing to cover my butt. My brother holds my waist and we step outside the lodge into the cold night air. There's a warrior standing guard there. "What's wrong?" asks Ringed Tail. He turns to face the two brothers. 'Say nothing to him, Second Bird!' "Ah. My brother... needs to relieve himself." We clumsily step past the brave who returns to guarding the lodge's entrance. Painful steps are taken towards the woods. I'm dismayed by my weakness. If not for my brother's arms around me, I would fall to the ground. "This is the wrong direction." "I know, Willow Bird. We'll head towards the river within the tree line, by passing our line of warriors." 'Yes. You are wise. They may try to prevent us from going across.' "Stop doing that!" scolds Second Bird. I swallow nervously in my throat. It's difficult not to think to my brother when he's holding me. I feel his fear; how strange I must appear to him for being inside his head. Second Bird pauses a moment to piss. I cling to his shoulder while feeling my own need to relieve myself. He must sense this. I feel his hand reaching under my front flap to direct my cock downwards. With a sigh, I piss to the ground at our feet. His concern about something else fills my head but I wait for his spoken words before answering him. "And your bowels?" "No. I want to keep your love in my butt for a while longer." Second Bird withdraws his hand from my dripping cock. He helps support my weight when we continue our path through the woods. An agonizingly slow walk is endured when we circle back towards the river. There's no one guarding this part of the bank. Second Bird pauses from entering the dark water though. He is afraid of its unknown depths. "Don't fear the water spirits, my brother. We must get across and save Running Wolf from the Trickster." Second Bird tightens his grip of my waist. We step into the water that brings an icy chill to my legs. Careful strides are made against its current. The river threatens to sweep us away when the water reaches up to our chests. "Hurry!" "I am trying, Willow Bird. If we're not careful, the water spirits will take us down." No sooner after my brother speaks those words when a strong splash lifts us off our feet. I flail my arms against the current. I'm separated from Second Bird and am carried down river. I fight for breath. My head goes under and I swallow some water. The terrible cold slows my limbs. Darkness. I try fighting my way to the surface. 'If only I could swim like an otter!' A strange change comes to my body. My legs join into a strong flipper that drives me through the water. I surface for breath. My whiskers spread when I take in air through my nose. Moonlight fills my rounded eyes, letting me see much in the dark. I don't feel the water's chill any longer. "Help!" I bend my slippery body towards my brother's outcry. My nose slits close. Rushing water fills my ears. My tail kicks against the current with ease. In a flash of revelation, I know that I've become a river otter! Something warm brushes against my stubby arms. Second Bird flails around me, grasps my slippery body for a moment before pushing me away with a startled gasp. I cannot hold him while in this animal form. With my nose, I push against Second Bird. I help him surface so that he can take breaths. It's child's play for me; my whiskered mouth sticks from the water and I breathe through my nose before diving back in. Another strong push is given. The current sweeps us further down river but I can see the bank getting close. After a few more nudges, Second Bird finds his footing in the mud. He struggles against the current towards safety. I angle down to the sandy bottom and feel along it with my whiskers. A startled crawfish is sensed. My mouth sucks the creature in and I hungrily crunch down and swallow it. When I surface for breath, moonlight fills my eyes. My strong flippering gets me to the bank. I find Second Bird crawling from the river. My body slows when on land that misses the ease of swimming in water. I flop over the wet mud until I'm laying beside my brother. He stares at me with horror. I try willing myself to Change back. "Willow Bird?!" My throat releases only high-pitched yips. I can't answer Second Bird! I'm helpless in this form and try to become human again. The effort is draining but I feel my legs separating and my arms growing long. Breaths rush through my open mouth. My body feels chilled again. The moonlight seems weak to my eyes. I become very faint... There's a sense of being carried. Voices shouting. Torches twirl around me like a swarm of angry fire flies. My feet are dragged over the ground. I feel strength returning to me. I'm carefully dropped to the dirt. It feels cool against my chest. When I open my eyes, I see many pairs of legs surrounding me. Torch light dances at their feet. "Why have you come to our side of the river?" asks an angry voice. "I am Second Bird and this is my brother. Please! You must get Stands Tall - his son Running Wolf is in danger." I'm slowly turned over onto my back. Kneeling beside me is my brother. "Yes. Get Stands Tall," I beg. After a moment's hesitation, I hear a voice command that the warrior be brought to us. Their torch light blinds me. When Second Bird holds my hand, I feel his troubling thoughts fill my head. He's worried for me; frightened by what he's seen happen to me at the river but foremost, he hopes that my Dream wasn't a false one. I hear running coming towards us. A man kneels at my side and he grunts with recognition. "What is wrong, Willow Bird?" I recognize Stands Tall's voice. "Your son has been taken into the woods by the Trickster! Send your men to rescue him... by the great oak tree!" "What? How do you know this?" "My brother has Seen that your son is in trouble. Please, Stands Tall. Take your men into the woods to search for him." I'm glad for Second Bird. In spite of his doubts, he supports me in this concern. A warrior commands that we be brought into camp. There's lots of running and shouting. In the distance, I hear the angry voices of many men. A thundering of feet comes towards us and stops. "My son is gone!" shouts Stands Tall. "He has been taken by the evil Trickster," I explain again. "Go that way, into the woods where a great oak stands. You must hurry, Stands Tall!" "Guard over them," the warrior commands. He then runs off. Stands Tall leads a band of men into the woods. Second Bird helps me to sit up. My eyes open but the torch light is blinding. Bile rises into my throat. I wretch to the ground at my brother's feet. "He needs a shaman," begs Second Bird. "My brother... isn't well." Several strong arms take hold of my limbs. I'm carried into camp. At my side, Second Bird offers me soft words of assurance. I can barely keep my eyes open because of my exhaustion. Darkness claims me at last. I feel heat against my legs. There are soft voices around me that I don't recognize. Something is said about Running Wolf; that he's been found. A voice fills my head that I know are Second Bird's thoughts. 'Come back to me, Willow Bird!' It's an effort to open my eyes. I feel that my head has been stuck into thick mud. My body is very weak. Someone tries passing water between my lips. I can't stay awake. My eyes close to find relief in sleeping. I awaken to the smell of deer meat soup. My head is cradled in someone's lap; a wooden bowl is pressed against my lips to coax me to eat. I hungrily drink the warm broth. There's a warrior kneeling before me who I recognize as Stands Tall. His face is very grim. There are other men in the lodge. No one speaks but I can hear their heavy breathing. Another gulp is taken of soup from the wooden bowl. It helps bring me strength. When I try sitting up, I'm aided by Second Bird. He sits behind me with his arms wrapped around my chest. My eyes widen with concern. "Tell me, Stands Tall! You found your son?" The warrior nods. "Yes. He was found tied to a great oak as you've said. The one responsible could not be found." "He is well?" I ask with a trembling voice. "My son lives but his spirit has fallen back inside himself. Like that time when his mother had died..." I know of what Stands Tall speaks. Running Wolf had heard his mother's dying pleas for him to come to her at the end but his father had held him back. A terrible moment in that boy's life. He wouldn't talk after that. "You've helped him before, Willow Bird. I beg you to bring my son back to me." I nod with understanding. When Second Bird helps me to my feet, I swoon badly and nearly fall back to the ground. My eyes are lost to me. A loud ringing fills my ears. "Willow Bird must rest!" scolds an old man. I'm carried back to my ground mat. I struggle to remain awake but the effort is painful; my head threatens to explode if I don't surrender to sleep. I've lost too much power. To enter darkness could mean not ever coming back. I cry out to Second Bird for his help! 'What can I do for you?' I struggle to answer my brother's plea. 'Help me... like before. I need to take in some of your energy or I will die.' I sense Second Bird's fear. He casts it aside when opening his very being to me. His strength is just within my reach. We've risked this before and I know how to work the ritual spell. I center myself. Love for my brother helps me to focus my inner Sight upon our twin suns. Such beautiful spirit balls! Mine is fading. My brother accepts my need. I direct our spirits to join as one. No longer do I feel his tight hands around mine or suffer the frailties of my body. Love binds us close together. He fills me. I See everything that he is and he understands me. We are one. Rattling fills my ears. There's a man's harsh chanting that reminds me of my shaman. I open my eyes to find him. An old man is seen kneeling at my side, his eyes are closed in concentration. Shake, shake. I welcome the steady beating of his medicine rattle. I glance beside me and see Second Bird sleeping over a ground mat. His face looks very peaceful. Shake, shake. I turn to him with concern when remembering my ritual drawing of his energy. My head falls to his breast. A heart beat! I almost thought that he was dead. The rattling stops. "Ah. You've awakened, Willow Bird." I turn my eyes to the Split Tribe's shaman. His face is cracked from age, like our shaman. Wisdom fills his eyes. A frown forms on his lips and I fear what he may be saying to me but the man remains silent. I feel foolish like a young boy before his elder. He nods his head knowingly at me. "You have the Hand of our Father upon you, boy." Pride surges within my breast. "I am not a boy..." "Hmm. What are you then?" the shaman asks without intending to insult. "I've been told that you have not been initiated a brave yet you've already acted as a warrior against our enemies. You have Power. What are you?" I close my eyes at his direct question upon me. The warmth of my brother's chest feels nice against my face. I listen to his steady heart beat. The old man waits for my reply so I give him one. "I'm only... Willow Bird." The shaman rises to his feet and he leaves the lodge. I ignore his passing since my thoughts are focused on my dear brother. Again, he has risked his life to save mine. Our spirits joined and I feel our wonderful closeness. Much more than what we've shared with our bodies in Mahyee-na. I'm only allowed a short rest when the shaman returns. He passes a steaming bowl into my hands and bids me to eat. The deer meat soup is greedily consumed. He takes back the empty bowl with a smile in his eyes. "Only Willow Bird, eh?" The old man chuckles as if it were a joke. A part of me wants to pour out all that I've experienced, my strange powers and the frightening things that I've Seen to his man but he is not my shaman. Would he understand? Could he even help me? No. I cannot confide in him. My eyes close to deny this shaman's entry into my being; my private deeper self. I lower my head back down to Second Bird's chest. His gentle breaths blow against my face that assures me that he is well. Almost, I can hear his dreamy thoughts. I pull back so that I won't intrude on the things he sees when asleep. That's a foolish thought. We are inseparable; connected. There is nothing hidden between us after our spirits joined. Our bond is a great comfort to me. He's become a lover, more than a brother but my best friend who understands everything that I am that goes beyond blood. He is my second self. A voice outside the lodge breaks me from my spell. "You have awakened?" asks Stands Tall after entering the lodge. I reluctantly pull from my brother and give the warrior a worried glance. Concern shows on his face. He looks fully upon me and surprise fills his eyes. A kind of haunted look. The warrior turns to the old man. "Ah, yes. You see the mark our Father has put on Willow Bird." I glare at the shaman. "What mark. What are you talking about?" The shaman reaches his bony hand out to my hair. He pulls on several strands with a strange glow filling his eyes; awe for me? "When next you peer into a pool of water, you will see..." I look at Stands Tall. The warrior regards me with honor by his head nod. It makes me feel very uncomfortable though. "About my son, Willow Bird." "Yes?" "Can you help him? He lies in my tipi with unseeing eyes... Like death but he still breathes. Please. Could you go to him and bring him back?" The shaman nods with approval. "Yes. Go to him, Willow Bird. I've looked at the boy but he won't respond to me. Stands Tall said that you had gotten his son to speak when you found him on the plains. Try to call him back." I nod my head. The shaman's words offer me hope and the strength I'll need to try. When getting to my feet, my body is slow to respond so Stands Tall helps me up with his hand under my left armpit. I'm taken from the shaman's lodge. Sunlight smarts my eyes. There are many people staring at me who whisper to each other after our passing. I'm glad that Stands Tall carries me along with him at nearly a run. The tipis rush by. So many of them that proves the strength of the Split Tribe. I reach out to Stands Tall with my mind and hear his troubled thoughts. He is concerned for his son but mostly he feels deep guilt. Stands Tall pulls away the door flap to his tipi and we go inside. Laying on the floor over a ground mat is a small naked boy. My heart goes out to him. "Please bring him back to me, Willow Bird. Like before..." I hear the warrior's pleading. My hands reach out to Running Wolf and I bring him into my lap. Oh, my love boy! His small head drops against my breast with a thud. Open eyes. But unseeing as his father had said. I feel so much anguish for this lost one. Why has he had to endure so many bad things?! "Can you help him?" asks Stands Tall. I release a troubled sigh before answering him. "Leave us. I need to be alone with your son and I will do what I can." The warrior hesitates for a moment before he turns and leaves. Running Wolf's arms hang lifeless at his side. I ignore his dead eyes by closing mine. He is alive but where has his fragile spirit flown? Warmth is felt from his small body against mine. I hold him closer to me, reach out to him with all my love. My nose presses into the boy's soft hair. I breathe him in. We have shared love with our bodies but I desire to make a deeper connection to him with what I've recently learned: a spiritual joining. I will myself to enter Running Wolf's head - to hear his thoughts. My breaths slow. I center my being and make the leap from my mind to his... Terror! I almost pull away in fright but remember that I'm not this boy. He is the one needing to be saved. My spirit struggles against the chaos of darkness and soundless furry, peeling away each layer of resistance like a thick stack of animal hides. A small voice reaches out to me. Pleading. 'Help me!' I See the coils of a dark snake around the boy's spirit, restraining him by its tight squeeze. Trying to keep him smothered with fear. My spirit reaches out to Running Wolf. Embraces him. I am attacked by Something. Wicked thoughts only but they are frightening to me and threaten my sanity. 'This boy is mine!' Hssss. 'I'm taking him to my Master.' I'm stunned by that familiar voice yet I wield my anger as a weapon. 'No. He was chosen by me first to serve as the One.' 'This little boy? You cannot have him, Willow Bird!' I ignore the hissing voice and use all of my will to wrestle the Trickster's dark coils from Running Wolf. It is a difficult contest. A power rises in me that I recognize but cannot name. This youthful spirit grants me strength. Together, we craft a golden spear. A weapon to use against evil. Wielding it, I shout out a challenge to the evil spirit. 'We protect this boy. Go crawl back to your Dark Master!' 'Who is this We?' the Trickster mockingly asks. I invoke the spirit of the ring and Wish this boy to be freed. Our golden spear stabs the dark serpent. Again and again! 'No!' the Trickster hisses. He recognizes the new power entering the contest but remains defiant to the end. 'I won't go. You cannot have this boy! No...' The battle rages on. Serpent strikes. His dark coils try squeezing the little boy's spirit unto death. I stab at him with my golden spear. When the Trickster's grip is loosened from Running Wolf, Darkness smothers us like a speared eel who muddies the water from his struggling. It's a very frightening thing. Without Light, I cannot find a way to escape him. My golden spear is lost. It's like I'm drowning at the murky bottom of a river. Trying to take a breath! It's hard to describe what I'm fighting against but the prize being carried in my hands is a boy. Sunlight fills my being. I break through the surface of chaos and know that the battle has been won. Silence fills the tipi after the storm. Only Running Wolf and I remain. The youth trembles like a leaf. My thoughts try soothing the little boy. I show him my love. He has been pulled from the clutches of evil but it has left him feeling weak and very frightened. I try burying the worst of his memories with a spell that I've learned from the Trickster when he made Crying Loon forget about Big Horn. When it is done, I slowly draw my spirit away. I return to myself and feel something warm sitting in my lap. My face presses into the boy's slim shoulder, kissing him with love. A giggle. "Don't stop, Willow Bird. Feels good..." I clench the fingers to my left hand and find a hardness there. Soft and moist. Running Wolf's pole stabs against my palm. I resume masturbating the youth who gives me a swift erection within my breechclout. His wiggly softness humps against my groin. I long to be naked with this boy and join my hard body to his. My lusty thoughts fly back to when I had done so. It was during a rain storm on the plains. We were frightened by the thunder and lightning, finding refuge in each other. That led us to kissing and my dick sticking into his little butt. He bounced over my legs to get me deep inside. A wonderful fuck! At its climax, something powerful flew from my loins into that boy. A kind of spiritual arrow that had been passed down to me from Big Horn who had been given it from Coyote Thief. Running Wolf is a special youth. He is the One. A small guilt tugs at my heart but I cast it aside. Crying Loon is another boy that I love but I do so to vent my lust while teaching him the sexual rites of the Mahyee-na. Running Wolf is the chosen youth to pass on what I've been given. After me, he will become shaman. I hear a sharp gasp for air. There's a strong single throb from the boy's erection so I pause from handling it. The youth relaxes his spent body in my arms. Panting. "Are you still my... monedo?" A smile blossoms on my lips. "Ah, yes. I will always be there for you." Anger fills my breast when remembering another who had taken this boy against his will after our joining. Tash-o-gwa raped Running Wolf in the rain while I was too weak to prevent it. An evil person! He has followed a much different path from mine - in service of a Dark Master as the Trickster who sought to reclaim this little boy as his own. "I won't ever let him have you again!" Running Wolf becomes tense. His breaths come as gasps. I rock the frightened youth in my arms to soothe him. "Do me some more, Willow Bird..." I release my trembling breath. All the anger in me spills out like a broken water skin. My fingers tighten and pull over the boy's foreskin. I offer the boy this simple rite of pleasure while my arms hold him closer to protect him from danger. There's an intrusion into the tipi. I drop my left hand to the boy's thigh and face his father with a shy grin. Stands Tall's eyes drop from mine and peer at his son with hope filling them. Running Wolf stirs from my arms. He leaps from my lap and rushes to his father with a happy glee. It's a joyous moment! I slowly rise from the ground and leave their tipi unnoticed. Father Sun shines down brightly upon me. I welcome the warmth of His Hand over my face and back. It is good to be alive! My feet stumble over the ground. People get out of my way, silently, showing awe in their eyes. It is an uncomfortable sensation. Do they fear me? I become lost amongst their herd of tipis. Without Second Bird to guide me, I don't know the way. My legs fail me and I fall to the ground near a totem. The carved wood presses against my back. Exhaustion takes me. I close my eyes to find sleep... I feel myself spinning in all directions. My body is planted to the ground, the wooden totem keeps my spirit from flying away. It is of Power. Yet when I try offering my thanks, only silence greets me. But its many eyes! I'm startled awake by a hand over my shoulder. There's a woman kneeling before me who has broken custom by touching me. I peer into her face and feel that I recognize her. She hands me a stick of smoked venison. I notice my hunger and greedily chew down its length. There are people passing us by, many frown at the squaw while their eyes avoid mine. Between swallows, I find my voice. "Thank you for the food. Who are you?" The woman smiles. "I'm Glinting Riverstone. Don't you remember me?" I cast my thoughts back in time but don't recall her face. She looks familiar so I simply nod my head. "How is my mother?" asks Glinting Riverstone with concern. She dares not speak her name for it is taboo to name the dead. Now I know who this woman is! Her mother is Hands Weaving who still lives in my tribe. Only the other day, that old squaw wanted to visit with the Split Tribe to visit with her daughter and see her grandchildren but was kept from it by the line of warriors guarding both sides of the river. Sadness comes into Glinting Riverstone's eyes by my silence. I swallow the last of my jerky and speak. "Hands Weaving wants to see you too." "Oh, thank you Willow Bird! I want to see my mother but no one is allowed to cross the river..." I lower my head with shame for some reason. The woman brings my eyes back up to her when she speaks again. "And my brother... is he well?" I nod my head. "Yes. Broad Shoulder is a warrior of my tribe. He has two daughters in his tipi who are nearly at that age to be married." "Oh, I want to see them!" I peer into Glinting Riverstone's face, noticing how much she looks like her mother. Her happiness slowly fades into gloom. Then I remember my plan. A bold one. It could help reunite our tribes from the families who've been long separated and wanting to see each other again. "There may be a way..." I keep my voice down to a whisper and look around for anyone who could be watching us. Glinting Riverstone also casts her eyes about. "How?" she asks. "The river is guarded and no one may cross." I review the plan that I've discussed with my brother. Yes. It could work but we need willing people like Glinting Riverstone to help bring it about. The squaw lowers her face closer to mine and I whisper quick words to her. She nods with understanding. "Until then, please tell my mother that I'm well. She has two grandsons who would love to meet her!" "I will." The woman notices an approaching band of men and hurriedly leaves my side. I turn to face two warriors and a young brave. Anger blares from their faces. "Return to your side of the river!" commands a two-feathered warrior. When getting to my feet, the other warrior roughly takes hold of my right arm. They march me through the tipi camp. Not towards the river though. Fear grips my heart when we enter the woods instead. I'm flung down to the ground. The three men surround me and kick dirt into my face. They're trying to coax my angry response. "You are not wanted here!" shouts the brave. "Your brother may be of the Split Tribe but you are Kalinlepi. We don't want you spying on our tribe!" I lift my eyes at the young man. I'm struck by how similar he looks like Big Horn. But no. My lover had born no sons and he was the only child of my chief's brother. "Look! He is only a boy who doesn't know how to defend himself," mocks one of the warriors. A savage kick is given to my butt. This draws laughter from all the men, especially when the young brave points down at my lack of covering there. I try keeping my anger under control. When I get to my feet, the men trip me up. More dirt is kicked into my face. "Not even a boy," mocks the two-feathered warrior, "but a squaw who likes getting his butt fucked!" I glare at the man but manage to control my building anger. Words are forced from my mouth. "You are foolish! I am not your enemy nor is my tribe. You should be seeking the Trickster who preys on our children to incite our People into war!" "Ha! The Kalinlepi are weak. That's why your pathetic little band has come to our river - to seek our protection from the Spear-bearing warriors!" Another man speaks. "And your tribe gives refuge to our enemies. Why hasn't that Spear-bearing scout been returned to us?" he asks. I pull over a tree to help get back to my feet. Its bark bears the claw marks of my animal helper that lends me strength. My right arm is pulled on. I'm flung around and cast back down to the ground. Pain races up from my legs that drives me into action. Fear comes into the men's eyes when I GROWL! "What are you?!" asks the two-feathered warrior. He doesn't wait for an answer but joins the others in running away. I rise to my knees, noticing the dark hair covering my body. In a flash of sunlight, I return to becoming human again. My fists pound the ground in anger and regret. Why must I be different from the others? I don't want this power! An emptiness fills my stomach that spreads throughout my body, sapping my strength. My limbs become very weak. There's a loud ringing in my ears. I lose my eyes... I awaken with a chilled body. It is dark. I have to think a moment before remembering where I am. Then sadness fills me. On all fours, I crawl through the woods in a direction that I hope will bring me back to the river. Twinkling torch light draws my eyes. I reach out to a small tree and lift myself from the ground. Why am I so weak? Staggered steps are taken towards the line of men guarding the bank. A man spies me and shouts out a warning. Two warriors rush to my side. I hear my name spoken. Strong arms carry me back to the others. I recognize one of the men, Elk Tail. He speaks to me. "Where have you been?" the warrior asks. "Stands Tall was looking for you. When you weren't found, it was thought that you had returned to the Kalinlepi." I slowly shake my head. Elk Tail's words prove that those three men who beat me had kept silent about what they've done. "What's wrong, Willow Bird?" I peer into Elk Tail's eyes and try hiding my pain from him. I feel betrayed by his People after what I'd done to save Stands Tall's son. Woe also fills my heart because of what I am, the frightening powers that I possess. Another concern comes to me. "How is my brother, Second Bird?" Elk Tail sighs with relief. "He is recovering in our shaman's lodge. They say that your river crossing last night almost drowned the two of you." I nod my head. Far across the river are the glowing tipis of my tribe. I long to return home. Elk Tail senses my intent and he helps me to the bank. After acknowledging his hand gesture that asked if I want to go across, the warrior brings me into the cold water. Our crossing is slow and cautious. I suppose that Elk Tail fears being taken under by water spirits. There are occasional sandbars to rest on. If it were daylight, I could mark their location but then I realize that the river's current is always reshaping them. My plan calls for using sandbars. A place up river and away from the lines of warriors guarding the bank. We continue our struggle to the other side. My legs feel numb, becoming slow and unresponsive. I'm glad for Elk Tail's arm around my waist. When we reach the far bank, a line of Kalinlepi warriors holding torches and spears at the ready meet our arrival. War Leader Oaken Strength is amongst them. He looks angry. "You didn't tell anyone that you and Second Bird were going across last night." He notices Elk Tail and speaks no more. "Willow Bird had to warn us about the Trickster!" defends Elk Tail. "Stands Tall's son had been stolen into the woods and because of his help, that boy was saved." "Is this so?" I face the grim warrior and nod. The war leader notices my fatigue so he takes hold of my body from Elk Tail. Something passes between the two men; awe for me or is it fear? I gesture my thanks to Elk Tail and allow Oaken Strength to bring me back to the shaman's lodge. We pass As-a-crow standing guard at its entrance. I'm helped inside and am brought down to a ground mat. Smiles A Lot was tending to our shaman. He rushes to my side, forgetting that he's holding the soiled head bandage he had changed for the old man. Oaken Strength glances at where the shaman lies. I also see the painted medicine cloth that Smiles A Lot has wrapped around his head. 'You have been caring for our tribe's shaman,' gestures Oaken Strength. 'Why?' Smiles A Lot looks down at his filled hand. He releases the bloodied cloth to the dirt and raises his hands for gesturing. 'He is a man needing to be healed. You have no other shaman to care for him. I was trained in that.' Oaken Strength glares at me, forcing me explain. "It's true. Smiles A Lot was studying shamanism from Snarling Bear and he too asks for refuge with our tribe." I can see that my words haven't convinced my war leader. "The Split Tribe have been asking for his return." "No. Don't let them take him away! It will surely mean his death." Oaken Strength stares into my eyes to read me. He asks, "Do you vouch for his actions, Willow Bird?" I nod my head. "With my life." Oaken Strength's face reveals that he's decided something. Without a word, he rises to his feet and leaves the lodge. I turn to Smiles A Lot and let him know what was said. 'Where is Second Bird?' he asks. 'Across the river, recovering in their shaman's lodge.' Smiles A Lot swallows nervously in his throat. His hands continue gesturing more questions. 'Was Running Wolf found? Did you save him from the Trickster?' 'Yes. Stands Tall led a group of his warriors into the woods and they found the boy alive but he was too frightened to speak. The Trickster had gotten away...' Smiles A Lot peers at me with more questions being shaped by his hands. It's too clumsy gesturing so I grab hold of his right hand and think to him. 'I was in battle with that evil spirit to release the boy from his clutches!' 'Show me what happened,' thinks Smiles A Lot. I cast away how strange it feels to be mind speaking but use its ease of communication to answer Smiles A Lot. Everything is Shown him: my river crossing with Second Bird when I Changed into an otter, my warning unto Stands Tall, drawing energy from my brother to save my life and how I fought against the Trickster to release Running Wolf's spirit. Awe fills Smiles A Lot's eyes. I close my eyes to hide my regret when Showing him how I angrily Changed into a bear to frighten away the three Split Tribesmen. Tears of frustration fill my eyes. I pull my hand away from Smiles A Lot and turn towards the fire burning in the center of the lodge. My hands reach out to draw its warmth. "You not be fright, Willow Bird." I release a long, weary sigh. His hand comes to grip my shoulder but I shrug him away. Smiles A Lot returns to tending the shaman. I stare deep into the dancing flames, ignore their whisperings. Anger fills my heart. Why was I made different from the others! I don't want this power! Tears streak down my face. I'm feeling very bad. I hate myself for what I've become and my spirit wants to deny everything that I've been Shown. I want to remain a boy; that's why I haven't sought out my chief to be named a brave. I could even be recognized as a warrior in the eyes of my tribe for having killed my enemies at need. But no! I am only... Willow Bird. I get to my feet. Smiles A Lot gives me a mournful glance so I turn away and head for the lodge door. As-a-crow is startled when I stalk past him. Tipis rush by when I head for the woods to relieve myself. I find myself running. The trees fly by and I ignore the occasional brambles that tear at my legs. Breaths race through my open mouth. The darkness swallows me up. I dare anyone to stop me now! I have to escape! It becomes a long run through the woods. When my legs become fatigued, I'm forced to stop. I reach out to a tree and lean against it to catch my breath. I piss to the ground. After dropping my front flap, I slowly turn back for camp. A plan forms in my head. Perhaps power can be denied and I can return to the way things were... I head for my mother's tipi in the dark. After much searching, I find her ragged tipi. Shame fills me. Without a husband, she has had to labor for others in our tribe to earn food and to tend her home. Big Horn has trained me in the hunt. It is time for me to act responsibly so tomorrow, I'll see to my mother's needs. I silently pass through the door flap. It is dark inside. Snoring is heard coming from my mother's ground mat so I ease myself down to the dirt. I'm back home. It is a very comforting feeling. When my eyes adjust to the dark, I look over the rounded walls of our tipi. There are few objects to be found; no weapons. This is a very poor tipi and I have not been acting as a good son. Warm Hands' snoring makes it hard for me to go to sleep. Not that it really bothers me; I welcome the familiar night sounds and smells that is my home. It's as if nothing has changed. While I'm here, I can push from my thoughts everything that has happened to me. I want to return to the way things were and remain as Willow Bird. A nice smell brings me out of sleep. My mother is kneeling over the central fire pit, stirring the contents of a clay pot. She acknowledges me with a warm smile. "Come. Eat some soup, Willow Bird." I eagerly join her at the fire. A wooden bowl is filled for me. After blowing over the hot liquid, a few sips are taken of the deer meat soup. Gulps are taken that quickly empties my bowl. "It is good to be back home." Warm Hands smiles in response. She takes back the empty bowl and fills it with soup so that she can eat. "You are feeling better, my son?" I give Warm Hands a nod. Guilt fills my heart for not having returned to her tipi sooner. "I've made something for you," says Warm Hands after finishing her soup. (The woman reaches into a worn elk sack and pulls out a folded skin, offering it to her son.) My hands accept the bright deerskin. A long belt thong is also handed me. I realize that it's a full-length breechclout that a man wears. My body is only covered with the front flap to my boyhood garment, old and soiled. My mother's gift is her silent acknowledgement of my having become an adult. My head hangs with guilt. "I haven't been providing for your tipi as any good son should have. This day, I will hunt and bring back fresh meat and hides for you!" Warm Hands nods. "That is good, Willow Bird." The woman averts her eyes. I stand near the tipi wall while turned away from my mother. My old thong belt is ceremonially broken away from my waist. My front flap drops to my feet, reminding me of my lost boyhood. I tie the new belt around me, dropping one end of the lengthy cloth in front to cover my loins then pull the other end under me and fold it over my belt in back to cover my butt. A knife is taken from my old belt and tied to my waist. I turn around to face my mother. Pride shines from Warm Hands' eyes. "You are a man, my son. Go and fulfill your responsibilities unto me and your tribe." A deep pang fills my breast. Though I've not been initiated a brave, my mother's words have acknowledged my status if only for her eyes. I grin. With a fond wave of her hand, I leave the tipi. It is yet early morning when I take my first steps through camp as a man. I'll need a spear. Big Horn's belongings are being kept in the shaman's lodge so I run through camp to fetch it. My new breechclout flaps nicely over my body. I relish its softness and clean smell. Everyone who sees me will know that I'm wearing a man's garment. Joy fills my heart. I greet Catch-fish-with-arrows standing guard before the doorway. He eyes me with pride showing on his face. Without any feathers in his hair, this brave is an equal to me. It's a wonderful feeling. I wonder why I've been clinging to my old identity as a boy. Catch-fish-with-arrows yawns sleepily. "It has been a long night, Willow Bird. Are you coming to take your turn guarding the shaman's lodge?" I'm struck by the man's words. "No. I've come... to check on our shaman. And to fetch a spear so that I can go hunting." When the brave gives me a sly grin, I realize what he's meant by his request. Yes. I have responsibilities as a man to fulfill but standing guard is not one I'll perform this day. Catch-fish-with-arrows notices something about my hair. His eyes widen. Before I'm forced to explain it, I push on the door flap and enter the lodge. The air is stuffy. My nose is assaulted by the smell of sickness. I find Smiles A Lot sleeping over a mat next to the shaman. With quiet steps, I come to the old man's side and kneel down. His eyes are closed in sleep. He takes strong, steady breaths through his nose. A painted medicine cloth is wrapped around his head. I know that he's in good hands with Smiles A Lot. I don't envy him having to stay here with the old man. I spring to my feet and look for Big Horn's spear. A small voice within reminds me that I shouldn't even be thinking the name of my monedo but I know that he dwells in the Above with the Sky People. He is not dead to me. I come upon a pile of familiar things: a drum, a folded bear skin and some weapons that were Big Horn's. The shaman had brought his belongings with him from the old encampment. I know that they were being kept for me. A spear is taken along with a bow and quiver of arrows. On my belt is a flint blade, given me by my chief. Smiles A Lot stirs from his ground mat. His eyes are wide with concern. 'Is there trouble in camp?' he gestures. 'No. My mother needs fresh meat so I'm going hunting in the woods.' The young shaman relaxes. He turns his eyes to the old man, the responsibility of having to tend for him causing his shoulders to slump. I notice Smiles A Lot's excitement for the hunt. He cannot hope to join me until my People accept him into our tribe. 'I will return with some meat to give you as well...' Smiles A Lot glares back. 'And you'll return for training as a shaman?' I lower my eyes from his. My shoulders sag from him reminding me of all my responsibilities that I have yet to accept. It is a heavy burden! 'That can wait a day, Willow Bird. May you be successful in your hunt. You know where I can be found when you need me.' I turn from Smiles A Lot without daring to look at his eyes. I quickly step outside. Catch-fish-with-arrows grins when he sees the spear and bow that I'm holding and the quiver of arrows covering my back. I feel like a real man before him. "The hunting is good in these lands," says Catch-fish-with-arrows. "Even before we struck camp here, Split Tribe hunters rarely ventured over to this side of the river. There are new animal signs being discovered every day." "That is good. I've not tried my hand at hunting since being with Big... my monedo." Catch-fish-with-arrows frowns. "Hmm. When I relieved As-a-crow last night, he mentioned that he was going to hunt this morning. It would be better to explore these woods together than to strike off on your own." "Thank you, Catch-fish-with-arrows. I welcome your advice and will seek him out." My grip tightens around Big Horn's spear. Excitement flows through my arms for the joyous task ahead me. I'm going hunting like any man! The sleeping tipis pass me by in my search for As-a-crow's. No one is about. My body trembles in the cool morning air. My new breechclout helps keep me warm, covering all my waist down to my thighs. An obvious status of manhood. The chief's blade that he had lent me adds to my appearance. Only a sacred bundle is missing from my thong belt; it had been taken from me by Shew-owa warriors and its contents mashed into the ground by their feet. I'll need a new one to hold the sacred objects that will lend me protection in battle. An initiation for me as a brave must come first. Big Horn was to stand at my side on mid-summer's eve to perform that rite. He is gone. That moon has long since passed so perhaps I'll be given another year of boyhood before I'm initiated. I want to have that time! The path before me is a difficult one. To become shaman means having to be responsible for everyone in my tribe. Will they accept my spiritual guidance? I am the poorest boy in our tribe being elevated to a position of authority and respect. There is power in me... Am I worthy of it? I spot a tipi with the painted glyphs of crows over its door. My ear is put to its entrance; there's the crackling of a fire coming from within. That lends me hope that this warrior is home and that he's not yet left to hunt. I announce my name at the door. As-a-crow bids me to enter. My spear is planted in the dirt at its entrance before I go inside. A strong smell assaults my nose: the decaying odor of flesh mingled with rancid fat. There are dead crows hanging along the tipi walls. Next to a fire, I spot the warrior kneeling before it. He gestures for me to sit down with him. "Ah, Willow Bird. I see that you're armed with a bow - for the hunt?" I eagerly nod my head. "My mother needs fresh meat and Catch-fish-with- arrows had mentioned that you were going hunting this morning." "Hmm. That is so..." The warrior pauses a moment in thought. "Come join me, Willow Bird. There is plenty of game to be found in these woods and I can show you the trails." I answer the man with a bright grin. He chews down a stick of jerky for his breakfast. When I'm offered one, I shake my head. "I've already eaten with my mother." As-a-crow studies me silently while he eats. Does he regard me as only a boy who is inexperienced with hunting big game? I had taken down a deer with Big Horn. We traded its meat for clay pots at the Moss-bowl Tribe so this man may not be aware of that accomplishment. I'm reluctant to boast. I endure the warrior's scrutiny. My eyes lower from his to study his scarred body; there are lines of scratches covering his chest and upper left arm. He wears three crow feathers in his hair to mark his status as a warrior. Encircling his upper right arm is a thong bracelet of crow beaks. The sacred bundle worn at his waist is said to contain crow's feet, ritually prepared to endow this man with power from the Crow Clan. When As-a-crow is done eating, he reaches for a bow at his feet. A quiver is already worn over his back. I stand with the warrior and follow him outside. Big Horn's spear is fetched. His eyes study me in the early morning light. I stand proud before this warrior. He must notice the full breechclout being worn over my waist, the knife tucked into my thong belt. Does he regard me as a brave; a man that has sprung from the boy that I was? "Your hair, Willow Bird... It's streaked with the golden rays of Father Sun!" Pride crumbles in me like a rock slide. My shoulders slump under the weight. "Yes. I was told by the Split Tribe's shaman that I bear the mark from our Father..." "Ah, yes. The chief has said that you were to become our next shaman. Has he recovered from his wounds enough to be teaching you?" I slowly shake my head. "Not yet. This day, I'm going hunting." As-a-crow gives me a puzzled look. It becomes an awkward moment when the warrior studies me closely in judgment. I cast my eyes to the ground. "Come then. I've heard that there are fresh elk signs close to camp. Since we'll be hunting together, you must follow what I say, Willow Bird." I nod my head in agreement. It's known that As-a-crow hunts alone so I'm honored that he's allowing me to come along. He leads me into the woods, down a small path that is marked with the footsteps of our tribesmen. He doesn't bother to look for animal signs yet. I keep my ears keen to the forest. Birds call out in warning at our passage. As-a-crow lifts his eyes to the tree tops from time to time. I hear the birds but cannot see them. From the man's quick pace, it seems that we have a ways to travel before getting to where he wants to hunt. My spear in rolled over and over again in my sweaty palm. I'm filled with much anticipation. The warrior pauses at a branching of our path. I nearly run into him. My foot crunches over some dead leaves when I have to step from the dirt trail. This makes the man frown. As-a-crow takes to a lesser path. My eyes find the prints to a herd of elk. Old ones that are covered over with the footsteps of men. Again, I see the warrior lifting his eyes to the tree tops. I wonder why his attention is directed upwards when he should be studying the ground. We continue our quiet walk. I take in the nice forest smells: maple and the fresh odor of leaves; the occasional honey suckle. Sweetness from Mother Earth all around us. I breathe it all in. I'm feeling very happy and carefree. It's a nice, gentle sensation that I haven't felt in a long, long time. I want to have a simple life - to only be responsible for myself and my mother. Our pace slows. As-a-crow gestures for me to keep quiet and to keep my eyes about for elk. The forest is thick here; there are many slim pines and an occasional oak tree that crowd the woods. Much undergrowth. Our tribe hasn't settled this area long enough to cut down trees for fires or to disturb this pristine forest. There are many animal trails yet to explore. Back at the encampment of my boyhood, I knew every animal path that crossed through our forest. The sacred stand of stones. All the streams, big and small that ran at the footsteps of pines, oaks and willows. I could take a stroll in the woods even on those nights without a moon and not stumble. Those trees were like an extension of my People's tipis but harboring squirrels, birds, snails, butterflies and creeping vines. We've left all them behind. I wonder if these woods welcome us? My arm stretches out before me to greet the slim pine trees. I press my sweaty palm over their bark, giving silent thanks to each one. I'm walking forward to the next tree before listening for an answering murmur. Would they think back to me if I asked? I release a trembling sigh. There is a connection being felt from the trees when I touch them. I can sense their spirits. Sleepy, but knowing. It's both a joyous feeling and one that fills me with regret. Having Power means that I may use it. A frightening ability! Will I do good things or bad? Am I even worthy? As-a-crow turns back for me. Being inside my head has slowed my pace, causing a noticeable separation to come between us. The man frowns. I scurry ahead while trying to keep my feet from sounding over the elk trail. My return behind the warrior is acknowledged by him shaking his head in dismay. I concentrate on the man's slow steps. His right foot forward, lifting heel and my right foot stepping into his. The trees pass by. I'm attracted to As-a-crow's flexing leg muscles. The man's display of strength. He is an experienced hunter. Three crow feathers in his hair prove his worth in battle. The other warriors of our tribe don eagle feathers but this man favors crow. A sly grin forms on my lips. There's no need to guess who this man's animal helper is. Usually kept secret, As-a-crow proudly announces his. The talk of the tribe about him concerns when he'll take a wife. I don't sense anything Mahyee-na about the man so how does he spend his lust without a squaw? My eyes fall to the man's backside. Unlike Big Horn's meager flap, this warrior wears a full breechclout that covers his butt. Only from the side can I glimpse skin, darkened from the sun and lean. There's a nice roundness to his cheeks. Mostly kept from my lusting eyes by his rear deerskin. I'm sure that As-a-crow knows about me. The stories and rumors of my love for Big Horn that everyone spreads through whispers that never reached my ears. Do they know how well we loved? I had found my identity with that brave; he set me on the path of the Mahyee-na that brought me sexual relief and eased my troubled spirit. From him, I've passed on our love and understanding to others. Our brotherhood has grown. An aching fills my heart. Oh, how I miss my monedo! My tender thoughts of him are now pleasant memories without feeling the sharp pain of loss. Is that what it means to become a man? Not to harbor hurt and pain that a boy must cry out when he's alone? My tears have already been spent on Big Horn, mourning his loss that wasn't total because he is always with me, deep within my heart, connected to my spirit and guiding me. I have reached manhood because of him. I'm taken from my thoughts by As-a-crow's increased pace. I have to concentrate on aligning my footsteps with his. He's often turning back. Not to look at me; his eyes peer through the trees and often lift to their branches. Has the warrior sensed danger? The tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck. Something isn't right here. As-a-crow keeps his eyes lifted high to the branches, searching for something. I'm puzzled. The tree tops are too far from the ground to hide enemy scouts or any animals we'd want to hunt. The warrior continues his stealthy walk. I place my feet into his prints and mind my spear from bumping against the trees. My excitement for the hunt has been replaced with a feeling of danger. I'm often looking about but can't find anything to confirm my growing uneasiness. As-a-crow pauses from stalking. He looks around, offering me no hand gestures to explain his uneasiness before pressing on ahead. I cast my eyes back to see if we're being followed. Only trees stand behind us; silent sentinels that couldn't hide enemy warriors. Yet I feel a menacing presence. I'm startled when the warrior releases a crow's cry. Silence follows. That's when I notice that there hasn't been any bird sounds. Something has frightened them from even giving a warning at our intrudence. There's an answering call coming from deep in the woods. I peer at the warrior and see a smile light his face. That eases my nervous stance. My left hand lifts for gesturing. 'One of our tribesmen?' I ask. As-a-crow shakes his head. He continues walking ahead with his eyes lifted high to the tree tops. There's a mystery here that I can't untangle. Danger? The warrior's smiling face assures me that he's not expecting trouble. We enter a small clearing. I study the ground for prints and find fresh signs of elk and the passing of a raccoon family. As-a-crow ignores my find. His eyes are looking upwards again. There's the fluttering of wings. I spy a large black crow settling into a pine tree near where we stand. As-a-crow lifts his right hand in greeting. The bird crows several times. My eyes widen at this strange portent. I hear the warrior answer back with a single throaty caw. He reaches down to his thong belt and fetches something from a small pouch tied there. The warrior lifts his right hand high into the air. Something round is being held between the man's thumb and forefinger. The crow dives from the tree and filches this object from his hand, settling in a low branch to eat. I'm in awe of what I've just seen. As-a-crow lifts his right hand again and the black crow swoops down to fetch the offered morsel. The bird returns to a low branch, crowing hungrily. 'He is my hunting companion,' explains As-a-crow. 'When our chief moved our tribe here, this crow followed and lets me feed him.' When I turn to As-a-crow, he places something into my hand. A small ball of wild grass seed. I detect its sweet scent, realizing that honey was used to cement the seeds together. The warrior gestures for me to lift my hand up to the sky. The black crow launches from the branch and swoops over my head, its wings brushing against me when taking the seed ball from my hand. He circles around the clearing. Cawing loudly. It seems that he's not yet been satisfied. I'm handed another seed ball. The crow has settled onto a low branch and regards me with a long stare. I begin to wonder about him. Could this bird be spying on us or perhaps even be the Trickster in disguise? There may be a way to find out. As-a-crow gestures for me to feed his crow. He caws to encourage its flight. The bird darts down on me, its talons digging into my finger a moment before flying away. I had opened my thoughts to his in that moment. There was no sense of evil; only animal concerns to feed an empty belly. I'm still clutching the seed ball. As-a-crow gestures for me to keep my hand raised. The crow springs from the branch and swoops down on me again. I try not to flinch. A rush of air, wings fluttering above my head and the seed ball is snatched from my grasp. The warrior beams with pride for me. I smile back with the utter thrill of having fed a wild creature. No more seed balls are offered from As-a-crow. He watches the black bird fly off. We exchange knowing grins. The man's face turns plain and when his eyes bore into me, I realize that he's shared a special thing with me that must be kept secret. The warrior leaves the elk trail. He goes in the direction of where his crow had flown. My eyes discover many fresh signs: elk prints and a scattering of black dung. Had his crow known to point out their whereabouts? We slowly creep through the thick stand of trees and find another trail. Back-handed gestures are given me. His plan to hunt the elk that he says are before us. I'm to stand fast with my bow. He intends to circle around the herd and send them running towards me by shooting the lead cow. A warning is given me to not get trampled! He asks that I stand behind a tree, shoot my bow and duck behind at their passing. I gesture my understanding. As-a-crow leaves my side with his spear in hand. He'll likely take bow shots, finishing off a fallen elk with his blade. The spear is needed against those who may be stalking us. We are in unfamiliar woods that could hide enemy warriors. As-a-crow is soon lost from sight. I find a large maple tree to stand behind, propping my spear up against it. And wait. My ears fill with the sounds of birds. Their songs have returned after the crow left. I'm still in awe of what he'd shown me. Sadly, I cannot share the tale with anyone! It becomes a long wait. I have an arrow fitted into my bow, its string held at the ready but not pulled back. My ears strain for the telling sign. Will As-a-crow be able to make his way around the herd unnoticed and send them flying my way? My arms tremble with excitement. I'm remembering my first hunt with Big Horn when he had stood fast with his bow and I was tasked to circling around the herd of deer. A giggle almost escapes my mouth in remembrance; I had nearly gotten lost! Yet the deer were found, or actually, they discovered me yet my wildly thrown spear managed to catch a doe. That sent them flying onto Big Horn. Only one of his bow shots had found its mark... I'm taken from my thoughts when the birds call out a warning. My hand pulls my bow taunt. I step from the tree and aim! Elk are running towards me in leaps and bounds, down the trail between the trees. I take quick aim. Shoot! Before another arrow can be readied, I duck behind my tree. Turn. My second arrow is flown towards their retreat. Then they are gone. My ears are pounding after the excitement. Breaths rush through my open mouth. I strain my eyes past the trees to see if any had fallen. An arrow is found sticking from the roots of an old gnarled oak. My heart sinks with disappointment. There's still the chance that my first bow shot had been true. I stop myself from pursuing. Even if I'd struck, the wounded animal could run far before falling even if my shot had been deadly. As-a-crow is somewhere behind me. I should rejoin him and together we'll follow their trail to look for blood signs. I collect my spear from the maple tree. Its long wooden shaft trembles in my grasp. I try calming myself. My breaths still blow through my mouth and I'm feeling a thrilling rush of excitement from the hunt. My thoughts turn to As-a-crow. Has he been successful in bringing down an elk? I decide not to wait for him. My feet race over the elk trail to find As-a-crow. If he has managed to kill one, he'll need my help carrying it back to camp. My eyes back track the herd. There are many deep impressions in the dirt, hooves widely spaced that prove their frantic run. I slow my pace when finding their grazing place in a clearing. No sign of As-a-crow... Caution is urged. My thoughts fly back to my hunt with Big Horn when I had walked into his bow shot that could of ended my life. I search the ground for blood signs. None. There's much scat. To my dismay, I find an arrow's path through the torn dirt that leads to its resting place in a clump of grass. My heart sinks with disappointment. As-a-crow's bow shots may also have all gone astray. When I ponder over a direction to take to search for the warrior, I hear a man's low groan. My eyes try piercing through the darkness of the woods. I can't see anything from where I'm standing. In a rush, I leave the clearing to look for As-a-crow. He may be in danger! Wild thoughts go through my head: has the warrior been gored by a bull or was he attacked by our enemies?! This last concern ends my wild dash. I stand behind a tree and try calming my breaths. When I've collected my wits, I peek around the slim pine. Nothing. Another groan is heard in the distance. I drop down to all fours and crawl through the undergrowth in the direction of where I heard the sound. I crawl towards a fallen tree. Moss covers its trunk that has ruptured from years of decay. Another groan of pain is heard! When I've gathered enough courage, I slowly rise on my knees to take a peek. The man is seen. A quick search around him finds no one else. My eyes return to As-a-crow. He's laying over an elk cow, clutching it. I notice with a start that he's naked. A breechclout lies at the warrior's feet along with his weapons. He groans again. I notice a rhythmic humping to his butt. The man has his arms around the fallen cow, pulling over her blood-matted hide as I imagine his cock stabbing into her cunt. I'm shocked by the man's lusty display. Is As-a-crow really mating with that animal?! I don't want to believe what I'm seeing, such a beastly act! My eyes follow his body's every strained move: arms tightening around the elk's belly, feet pushing against the dirt when he thrusts, butt flexing. The cow appears to be dead. I see a pool of blood at her head. Lusty groans spill from the warrior's mouth. I feel a swift rising of my dick. It shames me. I've heard from Big Horn how his first lover had stuck into his stallion's asshole for a needed fuck. Coyote Thief had even dared to take his horse's long dong in his butt. This is much different! The elk cow is dead. And perhaps, because the animal is female, I am feeling a sense of loathing for As-a-crow's act of lust. Somehow, he risks his manhood by it and surely would he not draw this dying animal's vengeful spirit upon him? As-a-crow becomes frantic. He stabs into the cow's cunt with quick, deep thrusts. His butt humps wildly. When the warrior releases a harsh throaty groan, I realize that he's seeding. Breaths are heard rushing through his mouth. The man clutches his fallen animal like a lover. I have to turn my eyes away. It would be bad if I were to stand up and reveal myself to As-a-crow. A thing that would shame him. I lower myself back to the ground and slowly crawl away. When I near the clearing, I get to my feet and run away. Back down the elk trail. I find the maple tree As-a-crow had left me at and I lean against it to rest. There's a throbbing coming from my dick. I ignore its aching; denying my excitement and the beastly thing my eyes had seen. A long time I wait. I've vowed to myself to keep what As-a-crow had done with that elk cow a secret. Now, I know why that man has not taken a wife. A crow's cry is heard in the distance. From its harsh sound, I suspect that it had not come from a bird. Ah. As-a-crow is calling out to me. I step from the maple tree and walk towards the clearing. The warrior is found there. He has covered himself back in his breechclout. A big grin is on his face. "Hail, Willow Bird! I've taken an elk cow with my arrow. Were you able to strike any with your bow?" I find it difficult to look in the man's eyes. "No. They all missed..." "Well, she is enough for the both of us!" says As-a-crow. "Come. I'll need your help carrying her back to camp." I silently follow the warrior through the clearing and into the woods where the elk lies. As-a-crow points down at her with pride. Only a young, small cow but there'll be enough meat to share between us. "Two arrows were flown; one at her that struck but my second shot went amiss. I had hoped to strike the bull that was with her." I recall finding As-a-crow's arrow scoring the dirt. One of my arrows had struck tree roots but I didn't chase down my other shot. I'm hoping that it too had missed the fleeing elk. "Don't feel so bad," says As-a-crow. "Not every hunt is a success. I will share her with you. Take the hide for your mother to tan and most of the meat. I only want the rump." My eyes turn to the cow. As-a-crow's offer is generous. The elk hide can be used to patch the damaged parts of my mother's tipi and there will be plenty of meat after he has taken the choice end of the animal. A concern comes to me. "Have you performed the rite of placation?" "Ah yes, Willow Bird..." A long pause. "I've also given her a part of my life to appease any anger she may have towards me." (As-a-crow grips his companion's shoulder.) The man's words draw my sharp glance at him. He lowers his eyes, looking at the rear end of the elk cow. I follow his loving glance - at the animal's female entrance that is filled with his sperm. "She was in heat," explains As-a-crow. "A lucky thing for me. When I'd come upon the herd, I saw this cow being mounted by a large bull. You should have heard his joyous bellowing! He bore a long hard dong like a spear being stuck into her body. Their loud mating kept the herd's attention from my stealthy approach and gave me the opportunity for a shot at her. It struck her neck. The bull stumbled when she fell, my second arrow chasing after him. It missed..." "I found it in the clearing." As-a-crow stares at me, hoping to catch my eyes but I keep them fallen to the cow. Her body remains crouched over the ground, the brown fur to her butt drawing my lusty attention within. I peer at her oozing cunt. This man's exciting talk about elk rutting has given me an erection that I try hiding with my arm. Silence falls between us. I know that As-a-crow must be wondering about my nervousness when I should be bursting with pride for him for taking down this animal. "You'll not tell anyone my secret of the hunt?" whispers As-a-crow. "And keep what you've seen from being known?" I turn my eyes on the warrior. A nervous swallow is taken before I give him my promise. "I swear that I'll not tell anyone about your animal helper. How he directed you towards the herd." "Hmm. That is good, Willow Bird." As-a-crow turns away and walks towards a fallen oak tree. He steps over it, retrieving a spear. I gasp with surprise. The warrior has found my spear that I'd forgotten to take with me after spying on him! "You left this behind," says As-a-crow. "But I can see that you're not in need of it. Your breechclout shows the hard bulge of your male 'spear' to strike this cow with." "What?" "It is your turn to perform the rite of placation, Willow Bird. You've seen me perform it and now you must." My eyes rest on the warrior's chest. Sweat sprinkles the man's dark skin; I watch the rising of his chest when he breathes in. I cannot lift my eyes to his, afraid of seeing what he's read from me. As-a-crow drops my spear to the ground. He approaches me and feels over my hard dick through my breechclout. I'm rooted to the ground like a tree, unable to get out of his reach. His other hand slip within to grasp me. A few lusty pulls are taken over my foreskin. My eyes close in denial of his act. I feel a tugging at my waist. As-a-crow unties the knot to my thong belt that releases my breechclout to the ground. A coolness comes to my nakedness. With trembling hands, the man grasps my waist, pulling me down to my knees. I plant my right hand in the dirt to keep my balance. Something soft brushes against my knuckles. My eyes open. I watch the warrior pulling my body down to the elk cow. Sticking from my groin is my hard dick, like a spear with which I can strike her. I feel lust for the act. In a flash of revelation, I realize that my shame comes not from his beastly use of the cow but from my own desire. "Perform the rite," asks As-a-crow. "Her body is already filled with a bull's sperm and I have given her mine." My eyes fall to the cow's opening. The oozing lips of her cunt are dark brown, like a man's asshole but not as tight. What draws my lusty attention is the male essence filling her. Mine wanting to fill her! I feel As-a-crow's strong push over my backside that tries to get my dick in the animal. There's a struggle going on within me. I feel desire for the act but fear its consequences. To penetrate an animal seems wrong; disgusting. The sexual union between our bodies being done out of lust - not love! How can a man love an animal? "I know of other hunters who do this thing," says As-a-crow. "This is something you must do, Willow Bird. A test of your manhood! Your rite-of- passage from the boy you were." Other men have done this? I've heard of the battlefield atrocities committed by warriors on their fallen enemies, an act of rape to shame them. A release of seed into a man's tight asshole not done from love though. I'm kneeling over a fallen animal; female. Why then is my dick hard in the wanting of committing this act? "She is a young cow," adds As-a-crow, "like a girl. Take enjoyment from her body before it becomes a pile of meat and a tanned hide." I surrender to the man's words. My knees spread over the dirt when I lower myself over the elk cow. With my left hand, I direct myself into her opening. The warrior's hand pushes over my butt. I feel a slimy warmth swallowing my dick when fitting my body in hers. My chest presses against soft warm fur. "Hold her, Willow Bird. Your act of love will be her last before the women of our tribe take her body apart. In this way, a part of our lives is given to this animal in trade for her life." I hear the man's words but I'm caught up in the beastly act that I will be performing. It is strange that I can feel this excitement for a female. My loins have only sought out other males for fulfillment. Oh. A girl managed to coax my sperm in her. No woman could interest me. Am I drawn to placing my cock in the place where other males have released? There's a strong push given to my butt. My stab goes deep! Pleasure comes from it so I begin my thrusts. My arms reach around the elk cow's soft body, firm in my embrace and surprisingly warm. I press my face into her hide. Smelling in her musky animal smell. As-a-crow continues holding my ass but he doesn't push. I hump slowly into her and relish the beastly sensation. "Love her, Willow Bird! Yes... Fuck her as I have. Give her your sperm!" My thoughts turn to the men and boys that I've mounted. With them, I felt a connection from our loving. This is only an animal... A dead one. Yet I'm building with excitement to be mounting her because she is an animal. A part of me reaches out to find her spirit but I find none. As-a-crow has broken the silvery thong between flesh and spirit. Only my body is tied with this elk cow. For lust only. It brings me some shame but I surrender to my fleshy needs for fulfillment. Pushing into the beast and pulling out. My cock feeling the silky warmth of her cunt, slippery from male cum. The thrills of sex tingle along my dick, driving me to quicker stabs that are leading me to explode! I dig my fingers into the elk cow's hide, breathe in her musky odor. My feet push against the dirt to thrust in deep, completely! As-a-crow gives my butt a strong push and I feel my sperm's rising. "Oh!" I squirt swiftly and with manly strength into the animal. My cock is so stiff that it pains me. My flow is like a river! Too soon, my waters end like an emptied skin. I rest a moment. Clutching the elk cow with ebbing love. As-a-crow pulls me off the animal. I'm turned onto my back with my left arm draped over her rump. It is done. There's fire in the warrior's eyes when he looks upon me. I notice his nakedness. He has grown a manly spear from watching my beastly performance. "You've done well..." breathes As-a-crow. I feel no pride from the man's words. He kneels over me, grasping my foreskin with a firm upwards pull. A small white pearl comes from my piss hole. The warrior sees it and nods approvingly. I watch As-a-crow lower himself over the elk cow's rump, aiming his hard cock into her wet cunt. The man grasps her body. His face presses into the cow where I had breathed. He humps the animal with much lust. It is an amazing thing to watch - to see a man venting his lust in such a way. My eyes wander from his sinewy arms down to his sweaty back until I'm staring at his nice cheeks. Humping. The warrior's powerful legs strain from his spear stabs. I peek inside for his asshole. With his deeper stabs, I see the man's hole opening. If he were Mahyee-na and willing to be taken, I'd be tempted to lay over him for a fuck. But he is a man from only the front part of his body. His rear entrance is not squaw. As-a-crow drives himself into a frenzy. His lusty groans reveal how much he's enjoying himself. I'm filled with mixed emotions: awe, spent excitement and a measure of loathing. Regret too from what this warrior has made me do. I reach for the man's flexing ass. My palm feels his male power in motion as he gets himself to seeding her again. I hear the wet slapping of his cock. A lot of cum fills her cunt, both from man and beast. When As-a-crow releases a throaty growl, I know that he's done it. He has twice drained his loins. No rest is taken by the man. He pulls back from the elk cow's rump into a crouched position. There's sexual relief seen on his face. Eyes opening, the warrior regards me with respect and a deep understanding that goes beyond words. He slowly rises to his feet with a dripping cock. I'm urged to my feet. We stand together as spent men over a conquered beast. There's a strange sense of accomplishment from it. As-a-crow reaches his arms around me for a tight embrace. I'm slow to bring my arms around his body. "You have shared in a thing that has given completion to my life," whispers As-a-crow. I bury my face in the man's chest. Smell his sweat and sexual exertion. My cock presses against his, swollen from male lust. Hot like fire. My hands lower to finds his butt. Soft and muscular. I'm feeling my attraction to his male body. The warrior releases me. He gives me a sly grin, his head shaking as if reacting from hearing a bad joke. My breechclout is handed me and together, we cover our bodies. I crouch at the cow's rump to rest. As-a-crow binds the elk's legs with thong. A large branch is torn from the fallen oak tree to help us carry the elk back to camp. Our spears are loosely tied to that branch, not for weight bearing since that could break them. I return to my feet when the warrior has the animal ready for travel. "Rested enough?" There's wry amusement in the warrior's eyes. I give As-a-crow a shrug. He gestures for me to take the honored forward position so I lift the oak branch to my shoulder, bearing half of the animal's weight as she hangs up-side-down from it. I take to the elk trail. As-a-crow permits a few rest stops. No words are exchanged between us and for that I am glad. Both of my shoulders pain me in spite of having shifted my burden between them but I don't complain. A man never shows weakness. The tipis of our tribe come into view. I clasp the oaken branch more firmly, mask the pain of carrying the elk cow from my face when boys of our tribe run to greet us. They twirl around with hoots of joy. I smile at Day Rabbit, Little Owl and a few other naked boys who dance at our feet. Song Bird joins them. His face is bright and filled with pride at my accomplishment. I silently lead As-a-crow to my mother's tipi. To my surprise, I find her waiting outside. Perhaps she's heard the boys' loud cries when we entered camp with our elk. A skinning knife is already in her hands. Warm Hands directs us to a clearing where she can get to work. Our heavy burden is lowered to the ground. As-a-crow returns my spear to me with a grin. Song Bird comes to my side. I see the awe in his eyes that makes me realize something sad. He remains a boy while I am becoming more and more like a man. Yet another barrier being put up between us. "Did you shoot this elk?" asks Song Bird excitedly. I shake my head, gesturing at As-a-crow. I'm not in the mood to be discussing our hunt for some reason. My friend notices my uneasiness. I leave my mother behind when making my way back to her tipi. The spear in my hand is planted in the ground by the door. That's when I notice how sweaty my body has become. Song Bird's eyes are all over me. He must have seen my new breechclout and the knife tied to my belt. Manly things. "Tell me all about it!" begs Song Bird. I sigh wearily. "I'm going to the river to clean up." Song Bird follows at my heels, not at my side as his usual wont. Oh. He's giving his respect to me as a boy does when following behind a man. A line of warriors is found standing on the bank. I follow the river up to a place where my bathing can be unseen. I'll be glad to wash away my sweat and the animal's stink from my body. I feel the need to cleanse myself of what I've done. My thong belt is untied from my waist. I drop my knife and breechclout to the ground. Song Bird eagerly adds his flaps over mine. It's an uneasy moment when we face each other naked. The last time we swam, our bodies came together in love. We're prevented from that by the strong commandment of his father. I still love this boy but am prevented from expressing it! There's sadness in Song Bird's eyes. He was likely thinking this same thing. I give the boy a fond arm slap before diving into the water. His splash follows mine. Oh, so cold! I surface for breath and look for my dear friend. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of file: SHAMAN1.TXT The story continues in: SHAMAN2.TXT