From: Bistander <vallucanbe@gmail.com>

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Potential

bistander

Chapter 38

How’s Your Kitty?

Sixteen years had passed since Sally left her baby with Sandra. John made her do it, but hadn’t Sally felt a sense of relief knowing her daughter would be with Sandy? The woman had shown her and Candy more love than their own mother ever had. Sandra knew how to raise a baby, and Candy would be there, too. Sally had convinced herself that was true, that it was the best thing for Angela, then the overwhelming regrets started mounting with each passing year. John couldn’t be trusted, Sally had known that, so why had she believed he would let Sandra keep Angela? Why hadn’t she checked in sooner or found a way to get back once she knew? Even if she had gone to prison, wouldn’t killing John before Sandra died have been better than staying away? Sally’s biggest regret was getting pregnant. It hadn’t been an accident; she wanted a baby. If she and Candy and Bobby had a baby to raise they would be a family. Didn’t everybody want and deserve a loving family?

Now, only six feet and a gate separated Sally from her daughter. That, and years of hating me, Sally thought as she slowly eased the gate open. She wanted to get close, watch Angela sleep, take in her every feature, and pretend they knew each other, and this wasn’t going to hurt either of them.

Sally stared down at the naked girl on the pool recliner. Everything she knew about her daughter was second-hand information, but it all reminded Sally of herself. She was a teenager in a woman’s body, she was strong-willed, wise beyond her years, and Angela did whatever it took to survive. Sally wondered if she had a right to feel a sense of pride? Or maybe it had nothing to do with her, and Angela was better off having been raised by someone else?

While Gloria checked the movies schedule with his phone, Evan mentally beat himself up for being stupid. Not many people would fool around in the car with their girlfriend in broad daylight. Evan, as hopelessly out of control as he was, let his little sister sit on his face at Sonic during the day. It had been a stupid risk for the obvious reasons, their relationship and Gloria’s age, but also it sent the wrong message. Gloria already didn’t seem to understand that they couldn’t act like boyfriend and girlfriend. Earlier, she had been holding Evan’s hand while they drove. He was older and was supposed to know better, keep her safe, but if he couldn’t control himself in public, what was going to happen when his father got back?

There were already two women at home that Evan would have to stay away from after tomorrow, but they both understood the danger, and neither wanted to be his girlfriend. Deana already had Rebecca, Candy had a husband, and she was his stepmother, so they would help Evan control himself. Gloria wouldn’t. She loved him and wanted him to be her first lover as much as he wanted her. What would it be like once they were lovers? No, Evan thought, I don’t want to know. It would be too good to stop, and that was a risk he couldn’t take.

The excessive thumb tapping made Evan say, “You’re supposed to be checking movies, not texting your friends.”

“I’m not,” Gloria said and typed some more. “It’s Dee and Mom.”

“Oh, really.” He poked the ticklish spot under Gloria’s arm. “About what?”

“Mom’s going to her sister’s house, and Deana wants us to pick her up.” Gloria tapped out another message and said, “We’re not going to the movies.”

That was a huge relief, but Evan said, “Aw, why not?”

“Dee said we can go to the movies any night, but we never get the house to ourselves?”

Not anymore, Evan thought, and he knew that’s exactly what Deana was thinking. “Is Mom spending the night?”

“She didn’t say.”

“Ask her.”

“Can’t, she left her phone for you to,” Gloria made air quotes, “do that thing to it.”

Evan started the car, assuming they were getting Deana right away. “Okay, let’s go.” Gloria kept texting. Candy’s phone would almost make up for what she wouldn’t let him do to her on the kitchen table.

Darlene sensed someone, so she squinted into the sun to see a person’s silhouette. She closed her eyes, thinking, who else could it be. I set this in motion, and now it’s happening, but I don’t want it to happen. All the mystery, wondering, imagining, and hoping that there was a good explanation for what happened would be over. She would have the answers. The only thing left would be the certainty that her mother and father abandoned her and there wasn’t a chance of having a loving family.

The orange glow inside Darlene’s closed eyes went dark and her face cooled in the shadow. She had to look. The jeans were worn through at the kneecaps, only white threads stretched tight remained, and there were similar threadbare patterns along the woman’s thighs. It made Darlene mad that she knew exactly what parts would be worn out around the lady’s groin before she looked. So what, she thought, we’re built the same. Darlene raised herself to a half-sitting position and casually dragged a towel up her body. A narrow strip covered her crotch. She held the other end between her tits but didn’t cover them. That would make her seem uncomfortable, and Darlene wouldn’t give Sally the satisfaction of knowing she was.

Sally dragged a chair from the table over and sat. Her kneecaps were inches away from Darlene’s shoulder. “Why are you here?”

“Candy said you wanted to meet the person you hate.”

Close enough, Darlene thought, but why here. It was better on her home turf, but it pissed Darlene off that Sally was at Style’s house. This was her place, her secret sanctuary. “No, why here? How did you . . . how do you know about here?”

“I know a lot about you.”

“Like what?”

“That’s not important,” Sally said. “You asked Candy questions she couldn’t answer.”

“She wouldn’t answer.”

Sally sighed. “Right.”

“Is that why you’re here, to answer all my questions? To explain how getting rid of me was the better of two bad things? Is there something worse than abandoning me? Huh? Is there really something . . . anything that makes that okay?”

Sally’s unyielding grip on the chair turned her knuckles white. “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated is what adults say when they don’t plan on telling you something.”

“Angel.”

“Angel, who the fuck is an angel? Not me, so don’t—”

“Stop, please.” Sally held up her hands. “That’s your name. I named you Angela, and whenever I think about you that’s your name.”

“Angela?” Darlene put a foot down on each side of the chair and sat straight up. “You named me, but.” She turned her head and stared into the woman’s bloodshot eyes. “Fuck, fuck you.”

“You want me to go?”

“Is that what you want? You wanna leave again? Run away?” Darlene stood, straddling the recliner. “Fine.”

It happened so fast Darlene didn’t feel the stinging pain until her body slammed back down on the chair. Sally had grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked. Now the woman was sitting on her stomach, still clutching Darlene’s hair, pinning her head to the recliner. “I know you wanna hurt me, punish me, but you can’t hurt me anymore than I’ve already suffered. So cut the shit. I never ran, and if there was anything I could have done to keep you, I would have done it.”

Darlene saw her own rage mirrored in the woman’s glaring eyes. She’s strong and dangerous, Darlene thought, just like me.

Sally released Darlene’s hair but didn’t get up. Darlene watched a teardrop as it seemed to fall in slow motion, tumbling through the air. It was hot on her skin when it landed and melted the icy edges of her anger. “Okay, I’m sorry,” Darlene said. “I’ve been angry for so long, and I wasn’t ready for this . . . for you to show up.”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have just turned up. I’m sorry, but I wanted to see you. I didn’t know if I would talk to you, then I had to, had to give you a chance to ask questions. After, I’ll go. I’ll do whatever you want after. If you never want to see me again . . . or whatever you want.”

“Alright,” Darlene said, motioning to the chair Sally had been in, “can I sit up?”

“Right, sure, I’m sorry, I don’t always respond to emotional stuff well.”

Darlene nodded knowingly while Sally stood, turned, and sat where she had been. Sally’s ass had worn through the jeans where Darlene knew it would. She mentally shrugged, thinking at least I’ll still have a great body when I’m older. “How old are you?”

“Thirty-one.”

“So you were younger than I am now.” Darlene tried to imagine having a baby. “Is that why you gave me—”

“I never intended you to . . . uh, to go through hell the way you did. It wasn’t supposed to happen. I thought one day I could figure out how to come back for you.”

“How do you know what I’ve been through?”

“I don’t know everything, but I know enough, and I can imagine the rest.”

Darlene didn’t like feeling as if Sally were looking down at her, so she got up, wrapped the towel around her chest, and pulled up a chair. Sally turned hers so their knees were about to touch. “If it would make you feel more comfortable I could take my clothes off?”

That might make me more comfortable, Darlene thought, or that woman’s naked body would be a distraction. “No, it’s fine.” For years she had been having this conversation in her head, but now that the woman was there in front of her, Darlene didn’t want to talk. She wanted to take time to stare at Sally, see if she felt a bond. That’s what people said, there is a bond between a mother and daughter; you’ll know it’s your mother if you ever met her. How many times had she stared into someone’s eyes, searching for a sign, a feeling, or a sense of connection? Had she ever been with someone without wondering if she was fucking a cousin, a brother, or a sister? Had there ever been an encounter with a redheaded woman when she wasn’t trying to find her mother in that person? Then Gloria came along, and Darlene looked into her eyes and saw something she had never seen before. Now this woman who was willing to sit outside naked, and looked like her, and was angry the way she was, made Darlene believe it was true, there was a bond between a daughter and her mother.

“This is overwhelming,” Sally said, “the second hardest thing I’ve ever done. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you.”

“It is . . . hard. I imagined it a million times but it never went like this. I still can’t believe you’re you . . . you know, Candy is your sister and Gloria . . . well Gloria is, um, my cousin.”

Sally nodded thoughtfully for a few seconds. “Mm, more than . . . “ she trailed off and pressed the heels of her hands into her temples. “You have a lot to be angry about, but there’s a lot you don’t know.”

“I’m listening. I wanna know the truth . . . whatever it is.” That wasn’t true. Darlene wanted Sally to have a good explanation. She wanted there to be a reason that Sally had to do what she did. And more than anything, Darlene wanted to have a mother like Gloria had. Someone who loved her more than anybody and would do anything for her.

“I don’t think I can tell you everything,” Sally said. “Not yet.”

“Bull shit.” Darlene leaned forward. “That’s bull shit. Tell me the truth, all of it. I want to know why you left and waited years to show up again. I deserve that much.”

Sally looked into Darlene’s eyes and slowly leaned in, meeting her challenge. Darlene looked down at the hand on her leg, resisting the urge to slap it away. “Ang—Darlene, there was someone, circumstances that had me in a corner . . . forced me to make a decision. Either way, I couldn’t be there for you unless I took you, and that, um, thank God I didn’t do that.”

“Why?” Darlene asked. Frustration was quickly eroding her patience. “Where did you go?”

“I was a kid . . . on the road. It wasn’t good. Bad things happened. Really bad.”

“But why did you leave? Couldn’t you stay? Candy was here. She was here and she had a baby.” Darlene’s body stiffened. “She kept Gloria.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Sally threw her head back.

Darlene heard the torment in Sally’s voice and saw it on her face, but it didn’t make her sympathetic. For years she had waited for answers, and she planned on getting them now. “Was it my father?” If her father was dangerous and Sally had to hide, maybe Darlene could understand that.

“No.” Sally took several slow, deep breaths. “Let’s say, hypothetically, someone thought you might be theirs, and they knew something that could have sent your father to prison. They could have used that against me, too.”

Sally’s blue eyes, brimming with tears, made Darlene sure it wasn’t hypothetical, and it was worse than Sally was saying. There was bad shit in her past, and Sally was afraid to talk about it. Darlene said, “I’ve been in and out of group homes, fights, bad trouble. I’ve done bad things, been fucked by a foster parent, raped, and seriously considered killing a few people. So there isn’t anything I can’t handle.”

The words sent Sally into a fit of rage, followed by hysterical sobbing. Darlene watched and reached out, but pulled her hand back before it touched Sally. There were still too many missing pieces, details that might make Darlene believe Sally didn’t have a choice. Maybe her father should have gone to prison instead of what happened?

Several times Sally sounded as if she were about to speak, but nothing came out. Darlene knew how hard telling the truth could be, so she tried to be patient. “Sally, please, you can tell me. I need to . . . have to know the truth.”

“And I want to, need to tell you what happened, but not if it might hurt you or someone else.”

“It can’t hurt more than not knowing. I wanna know why you left. I wanna believe you had to. Please.” Darlene felt them coming, and it made her furious, but she couldn’t stop her tears. “I want you to be a good person.” She jumped up. “Please, please make me believe you.”

Sally wrestled through the thrashing, flailing arms, and pulled Darlene into a restraining embrace. “Stop, stop fighting. Let me . . . let me hold you, please.”

“I, ah, ah,” Darlene’s body jerked with sobs, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t let anybody . . . ” She stopped fighting. The woman was powerful, but Sally’s body was soft. Darlene’s arms tentatively circled Sally’s waist. Sally didn’t make a sound, but Darlene could feel the woman’s hot tears hitting her shoulder and running down her back. Gloria was the only one who had ever hugged Darlene so completely, until now.

Darlene broke free, picked up the towel, and held it haphazardly in front of her. “Damn it.” She didn’t like being vulnerable.

“I’m sorry.” Sally stepped back and sat. “I’m sorry.”

She gets it, Darlene thought, the woman gets me. She took her seat and let their knees touch. “I’m not used to that. I don’t like . . . I don’t let—”

“It’s okay, I understand, I do, I understand. It’s hard for me, too.”

“People hurt you if you let them in.”

“I know they do, and I did, I hurt you . . . really hurt you.”

“Look, I’ve imagined every single possible reason, thousands of times, so nothing will surprise me . . . or hurt me more than I’ve already been hurt. All I want now is the truth.”

“I’m afraid of what you’ll do if I tell you,” Sally said. “You could say something or do something that could hurt someone. Not me, someone else, someone you don’t want to hurt.”

The towel fell in a pile on Darlene’s lap as she straightened and placed her hands on Sally’s thighs. “What are you talking about?”

Sally put her hands on Darlene’s and leaned in until their noses were about to touch. “I’m talking about Gloria. It could hurt Gloria and Candy.”

“Nobody is gonna hurt Gloria . . . never.”

“You care about her?”

Tears pooled at the rims of Darlene’s eyes. She nodded, sniffed, and roughly wiped her face. “She’s special, family, my cousin. I’ve never had that, had anyone like her in my life.”

“Shit, shit, shit, this is so fucked up.” Sally jumped up and turned in a circle. “Fuck, she’s not your cousin.” She crashed down on the chair. “She’s your sister, Gloria’s your half-sister.”

Darlene started breathing fast as the blood drained from her face. Cousin or sister, Darlene didn’t care that they had fucked or that she loved Gloria. “What does that mean? You’re Gloria’s mother?”

“No, you have the same father, but Gloria doesn’t know, she doesn’t know anything.”

The things Gloria said about Candy and Evan and Deana swirled around in Darlene’s head. Gloria had always lived in that house, but Candy hadn’t always been married to him. Candy would have been too young, and Evan and Deana had a mother before Candy. “Does that mean Evan and Deana are my—”

“No, no, it’s not him. He’s not Gloria’s father. No, definitely not him. Is that what Gloria thinks?”

“She doesn’t know, but she wonders . . . she wonders.”

“Yeah.” Sally nodded and kept on nodding. Darlene knew the expression; the woman was processing and calculating and trying to figure out what to say next. “Darlene, have you met Deana and Evan’s father, John? Have you ever met him?”

“No, never,” Darlene said. “I’ve only been to their house once.”

“Good, that’s good.”

Darlene saw Sally’s muscles pull tight as her hands twisted on the armrests. “He’s not a good person, is he?”

“Why?” Sally asked. “Did Gloria say something?”

“No.” Darlene crossed her arms over her chest.

Sally scooted forward. “What did she tell you?”

“She didn’t say anything. Didn’t have to. I can tell. Does Candy know?”

“Know what?”

The chair Darlene had been in flipped back and skidded across the concrete. She bent forward and shoved her face in Sally’s. “What the fuck is wrong with you . . . you, her, she’s Gloria’s mother. Why the fuck don’t you help her? Why?” Darlene stood up, balled her fists as if she were going to start swinging, and screamed, “He’s fucking with her and nobody is doing anything. What the fuck is—”

Sally’s hands clamped down on each of Darlene’s shoulders and shook her. “Stop.”

Darlene looked at the marks Sally’s fingers left on her skin. She had underestimated the woman’s strength. “Did he do something to you? He did, didn’t he?”

“Why do you think that?”

“You were there, right? Gloria told me you were Deana and Evan’s babysitter before Candy, so you were there, and you had to leave.”

“Right, of course.” Sally used her arm to wipe the sweat off her face. “Let’s sit, sit in the shade.”

Darlene laid her towel on the grass under a tree. Sally sat on her folded legs, facing Darlene, and took slow deep breaths. Darlene finally read the words on Sally’s shirt, “Not Everything is flat in Florida,” and they made her want to smile. “I’m waiting.”

“You’re right, he’s a bad person . . . worse than bad, he’s dangerous. Candy couldn’t have done anything even if she knew.”

“I’ll kill him if he hurts Gloria, I swear, I’ll get a gun and kill him.”

Sally shook her head adamantly. “No, don’t say that. Nobody is going to prison because of him. He’s already taken too much, he’s not gonna take anymore, no, not anymore.”

Darlene stared, still wanting someone to hate, to blame for all the pain, but was Sally that person? “What did he do to you?”

“I’m going to tell you everything, but you can’t say or do anything. I need time. Can you do that, give me a little time?”

“And you’ll protect Gloria?”

Sally nodded. “There are many things I’m not proud of, things I did before and after I left that weren’t good. Things you won’t like.”

“Was I one of those things? Was I a mistake?”

“No, no, you weren’t. I wanted you, wanted a baby, a family, but I was stupid, I didn’t know anything about a family. I was so messed up, broken, and I thought if I got pregnant—I’m sorry. I was living in a fairy tale.”

Darlene thought about the times she had imagined having a baby so there would be someone who loved and needed her. If she had let somebody in, trusted a guy, someone like Evan who didn’t just want to fuck her, would she have done it? “There are many things I’m not proud of, too.”

“I’ve always been sexual,” Sally said. “From a young age I knew about it, wanted it, and enjoyed it too much.”

Darlene shrugged, thinking, that sounds familiar.

“I wasn’t a good sister, role model for Candy. Really, I dragged her into things before she was old enough. I corrupted her.” Sally looked up and drew in a deep breath. “Your father is my brother. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

The words surprised Darlene but they didn’t disturb her. She always assumed at least one of her parents had more kids after her. The odds were better that she’d be struck by lightning, but there was the potential that they could meet. That made it impossible to be with someone without thinking, I might be fucking my brother. The thought had never stopped Darlene. Instead, it made the sex better. When she looked into Gloria’s eyes and felt the connection, it turned sex into lovemaking, something Darlene had never known before. She had encouraged Gloria to be with Evan, and the idea of the twins fucking made Darlene cum.

Darlene considered her words carefully before saying, “You and Candy both fucked your brother?”

Sally nodded without making eye contact. “I’m sorry.”

Darlene smirked. “That must make family reunions awkward.”

“After I left, our father died, and our mother drank and drugged herself to death. I didn’t see Candy the whole time I was gone, and I’ve only seen our brother a few times.”

“Oh.” Darlene swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.” She did feel bad, but Darlene didn’t like the feeling. The woman had abandoned her. “Is that why you left, because of who my father is?”

“No . . . yes, but not because I was ashamed or didn’t want you. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.”

“What about my father? Why didn’t he keep me, or your sister, or anybody that wouldn't throw me into the system?” Sally’s silent stare and balled fists answered Darlene’s question. “Tell me what really happened . . . why you had to leave, everything.”

Sally’s head moved but it was barely a perceivable nod. “None of it is good. It’s hardly believable, like something you’d read or see in a movie. A horror film.”

“My closest friend is a woman with a dick, I like getting fucked by her dog, and I had sex with my half-sister right here in this yard.” Darlene shrugged. “And that’s the stuff I’m not afraid to talk about, so, my life is already something you’d read on the internet.”

The woman sat there staring at her, but Darlene hadn’t seen a hint of disgust about what she said. She wondered what it would take to shock Sally, then she imagined Brutus mounting Sally’s voluptuous ass. Is that the kind of mother I want?

Sally explained her family life, how poor they were, what her mother was like, and told Darlene about Sandra. She explained how John had raped her and made Sally believe it was her fault. That hadn’t been hard because Sally was already having sex with her brother and other boys. Sally described the guilt about it because of how good Sandra was to her and Candy, and how easy that made it for John to manipulate her, and use her as his fuck toy. Then she told Darlene how getting pregnant had turned the tables on John.

“I don’t know how he found out,” Sally said, “but John hated me once he found out I wasn’t carrying his baby. Bobby was old enough to go to prison, and John swore he’d make sure that happened. He convinced me that because I was so young and who the father was, I’d lose you anyway. It takes a special kind of evil to make a teenage girl leave her baby and move away. He made me lie to Sandra and Candy, say I didn’t want you, and he gave me a bus ticket. Sandra promised she’d take care of you and if I changed my mind later I could have you back. I hoped I could figure something out, but everything went to shit. I hated myself for causing so much trouble. Bobby had to join the army, went to Afghanistan, and I couldn’t be there for Candy and her baby. When I found out you weren’t with them, I was still struggling. Then Sandra died and Candy married that piece of shit. I figured it was too late, and I almost gave up.”

Darlene listened, thought of questions to ask later, and fantasized about different ways to kill John.

Sally talked for another thirty minutes before Darlene spoke. “What did you do? I mean in California . . . when you got there and for all these years?”

“It wasn’t good,” Sally said. “I had to do whatever I could to stay alive. I thought somehow I’d find a way to get back and find you, get you back. Sandra was here, and I knew she would help me.”

“Did you give up when you found out she was dead or when Candy married John?”

“I never gave up hoping, but at some point I thought it was too late and you wouldn’t want to see me anyway. I didn’t have a right to suddenly show up, but I never stopped thinking about you . . . loving you.”

“You didn’t answer my question? What were you doing?”

“Horrible things,” Sally said. “Things you shouldn’t have to hear.”

Darlene nodded, thinking about all the horrible things she had done. The stuff she wouldn’t want to be forced to say out loud, but Darlene needed to know. She wanted to hear what she imagined would have happened to a fifteen-year-old girl on her own in California. If Sally had suffered enough, Darlene thought, maybe it would be okay to feel compassion for her. How much suffering would it take to justify love? “I need to know.”

“I’m afraid to tell you.”

The pained expression on Sally’s face made Darlene feel more of whatever it was she had been fighting. “Why? You said you were gonna answer my questions.”

“I don’t want this to be about me,” Sally said.

“Who else is it about? I already know the shit I’ve been through for years. Where the fuck have you been?” It was so much easier for Darlene to be angry.

“Okay, okay.” Sally held up her hands. “I’ll tell you. I started out dancing . . . stripping . . . ”

Darlene reminded herself of the worst things that had happened to her in foster care while listening to Sally, but it didn’t work, she couldn’t provoke the rage that made it okay to hate Sally. The volcanic rumbling of confusing and painful emotions made Darlene claw at the grass. She was desperate for something sharp to ram into her flesh. In her mind, Darlene screamed, don’t let yourself feel that. “But you’re rich now. Gloria said you’re rich. How come you’re rich?” She turned her head, frantically rubbing her eyes. This woman isn’t going to make me care about her.

“I had help, I let someone help me. Someone cared about me and showed me how to make it work, but it’s still not anything a girl wants to hear about their mother.”

The words, “their mother,” ping-ponged around in Darlene’s head until she heard herself thinking, your mother, she’s your mother, you have a mother. All the neighborhood dogs train-fucking her on the front lawn while Darlene stabbed herself with a butcher’s knife couldn’t have stopped the avalanche of emotions. She tried to scream and lunge at Sally with her fists flying, but her body crumbled into a naked ball of sobbing flesh instead.

At least five minutes had passed since the emotional blackout ended, yet Darlene was still laying on her side with her head on Sally’s lap. It was too warm to be shivering, but she trembled each time the woman’s fingers combed through her hair. Sally’s other hand gently moved up and down her arm. The tenderness and compassion threatened Darlene’s sense of control, but she had surrendered to it, and made herself completely vulnerable. It was wonderful and horribly terrifying.

“Is this okay?” Sally asked. “I’m not good at this. I don’t know how to do this, to be a, uh—”

“Me neither,” Darlene said. “I’ve never had this, never had a mother, a real mother.”

Sally’s tears fell and dissolved into Darlene’s hair while hers soaked through the denim stretched across Sally’s thigh. It didn’t seem possible, but Darlene felt as if she had always known Sally. She needed someone else to hate, and Darlene knew exactly who that would be.

When they got home, Deana and Gloria both went straight to the bathroom, arguing about who got to go first. Evan was suspicious, especially after seeing Gloria had deleted the conversation she had with Deana, but he had more urgent matters to attend to. Candy’s phone was on the table. He sat in his father’s chair and thought about Candy kissing him earlier. His fingers flexed while he thought about her tit in his hand.

It only took five seconds to find an image of Cindy’s naked body. Her smooth, dark skin made him shiver. If not for the extra cup size and more matured nipples, Evan could have easily mistaken it for Deana. How could the two girls be born three years apart and look so much alike? Evan found a picture of Cindy looking up from between his mother’s legs. They both liked women more than boys, except Deana said she loved his dick. What if she and Cindy had that in common?

That’s stupid, Evan thought and connected to the WiFi. Candy said he had to delete them after he looked, but he needed more time. Hopefully, the transfer would be done before his sisters finished whatever they were doing besides pissing.

In the bathroom, Deana said, “I knew something happened as soon as I saw your face.” She sat next to Gloria on the bathroom counter. “I wish I could have been there.”

“At Sonic,” Gloria smirked, “watching me sit on Evan’s face?”

Deana jabbed Gloria with her elbow. “That sounds fun, but I wanted to see him give it to you.”

“You’ll be there when he gives it to me,” Gloria giggled and held her hand out in front of them, “but three in the shower would have been crowded.”

“God, the things that have happened in this bathroom.” Deana sighed. “Good thing it doesn’t have eyes.” They nodded thoughtfully while Deana turned the ring on Gloria’s finger. “Three of us could have fit in that shower.”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me he got me one too.”

“I couldn’t, it was a surprise,” Deana said and tugged the ring off. “Give me your other hand.”

After a long silence, Gloria said, “I wish I could wear it there.”

“It fits a little better on your left hand,” Deana said. “Maybe it’s a sign?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“What’s wrong, baby girl?”

“It’s confusing, frustrating, and . . . ah, I don’t know.”

Deana put her arm around Gloria and pulled her close. “What?”

“The way I feel about Darlene, and Evan, and why.” Gloria’s fists tightened in her lap. “Maybe I like girls more, or maybe it’s just because I hate Dad so much.”

“You don’t have to know, not now,” Deana said. “And you don’t have to do anything. Not now or ever. Evan loves you, has always loved you, and always will. And I’m pretty sure Darlene does, too.”

“She wants me to . . . thinks I should do it with Evan. You think that means she doesn’t feel the same way I feel?”

“No, I think Darlene has been through a lot like . . . um, a lot of things like us, so she probably knows about—”

“She does, you’re right, she must,” Gloria said. “That's why she, ah, she . . . I don’t know, she just seemed to know exactly what I needed. And the way she looked at me . . . looked right down inside me. Fuck, I love her, but does that mean—”

“Slow down.” Deana squeezed Gloria’s thigh. “I had all the same kinds of questions. They’re all things that will figure themselves out.”

“So, when you and Evan fucked is that when you knew you liked girls more?”

“No, yes, well it helped me see things—Sex with Evan was,” Deana blew out a hard breath, “like getting hit in the head with a baseball. At first I didn’t know what happened to me. I was dazed and confused, but after a while the past became clearer.”

“Great, so I have to get knocked out and eventually I’ll know if I’m gay or not. Is that what you’re saying?”

“I guess that’s what it sounded like I said, but not really. Being with Evan showed me what it felt like, and because of how much we love each other, it’s good . . . I liked it. Probably always will, but once that was out of the way, I was able to see the past and understand what my feelings were about. I had a crush on Mom way back, and loved seeing her naked. I realized I had been relieved, not mad about not being allowed to date. I liked being around girls more because they turned me on, even though I couldn’t admit it to myself at the time.”

“I hope it works for me, but.”

Deana unlocked her phone. “You deleted our text on Evan’s phone, right?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” Deana opened the pictures. “You upset about that one?” She showed Gloria Evan groping Candy’s tit while they made out.

“No, I’m glad. When asshole gets back, thinking about Evan fucking Mom will make me feel better. I hope they keep doing it.”

“If Sally has her way, we won’t have to worry about him for long.” Deana opened the picture of Cindy. “She’s . . . um—”

“Fuckin’ gorgeous,” Gloria said. “Like you . . . it’s amazing how much she’s just like you.”

“Thanks.” Deana nodded and rubbed the stinging threat of tears away. “You know it’s okay if you want to wait or not do it at all.” She opened the picture of Evan’s dick.

“I did, really thought we would, but that scared me,” Gloria said. “But I still want to.”

Deana nodded. “It scared me too, and I didn’t see this right before we did it.”

“I don’t wanna start then make him stop. He’ll think I’m a tease.”

“I told you not to worry about that,” Deana said. “If you wanna try, I’m here for you.” Deana swiped back to the full-length nude of Cindy. “Is that really what I look like?”

“Yes, and it’s making me horny.”

“You little slut, you’re always horny,” Deana said.

“Look who’s talking.” Gloria jumped up and said, “Dante, the pussy slayer.” She thrust her groin forward several times. “I’m gonna take a quick shower, then I’ll be ready.”

When Gloria was naked and leaned forward to turn on the water, Deana grabbed her hips and pulled Gloria’s ass into her humping motion. “Sorry, couldn’t resist that sexy little ass.”

Gloria twisted around, grabbed a handful of her right cheek, and said, “You got a sexy little butt, I got a big badonkadonk.”

“Mmm, like your mamma.” Deana slid her hand down Gloria’s stomach and palmed the pudgy mound of curly, blonde hair. “I got an idea.”

Evan looked at the naked woman, and even though they had fucked like teenagers, he thought of Candy as an adult. The text exchanges between Candy and Cindy painted a different picture though. It was easy to imagine Deana and Rebecca saying such things, but not Candy. His mother was flirty, funny, and downright naughty. She was also very much in love with Cindy. It made sense now why Cindy stopped coming over; she couldn’t keep her hands to herself, and Candy was useless at resisting the advances of his nympho cousin.

A selfie of Candy and Cindy laying on their sides, facing each other, drew Evan’s mind into his mother’s bedroom. Cindy’s dark, erect nipple was touching the large, pale tit that had been in Evan’s hand earlier. They were so different, both gorgeous in contrasting ways, and perfect together. Evan had never been more proud of Cindy, happier for his mother, or jealous of both women. What would it be like to lay between them, Evan wondered as his hand slipped inside his pants.

Filled with naked images of Candy from the phone and her as a young, happy girl in the pictures from the shoebox, Evan looked up to see Gloria stroll into the kitchen, wearing a towel. Evan realized she wasn’t just a smaller version of Candy. Gloria represented the babysitter he had loved, but couldn’t have. Or had Candy been the manifestation of all the things Evan had been ashamed of since the first time he saw Gloria as something other than his kid sister?

“You’re staring,” Gloria said.

“Towel, ah, towel doesn’t cover much.” Evan turned the chair away from the table, facing Gloria.

“It covers what you wanna see.” His sister smirked and moved close. Her breath was minty fresh.

“Nothing under there I haven’t already seen . . . and tasted.” And it tasted better than the forbidden fruit Eve tempted Adam with.

“That’s what you think.” Gloria put her foot on the edge of his chair, held Evan’s shoulders, and stood in front of him. “Look what Deana did.”

The towel fell, and Evan’s nose filled with the familiar smell of Deana's shaving cream. Gloria’s groin was like a picture thrust too close, so he moved his hands up the backs of her legs until they bumped the fleshy cushions of her round ass cheeks, then he clamped down and eased her back. Holy shit, Evan thought. “Fuck, it’s . . . uh, it’s—” What was it about his sister’s shaved pussy that made him tremble?

The plump swell of Gloria's mound and her pouting labia took Evan back to the days before his sister had hair or even the silky-fine peach fuzz that came later. Like it had been then, Evan thought he should be embarrassed, look away and be ashamed of how the girl’s bald pussy made him painfully horny.

Gloria's body slowly arched, pushing her groin toward Evan's face. His lips pressed into the hill of flesh piled above Gloria's prominent pubic bone. It was silky, soft, and smooth the way he used to imagine it would be. Gloria’s blue eyes sparkled as her fingers combed through his hair. “You like it?”

Evan wanted to scream, cry, and punch himself for having wanted to touch his sister’s pussy way back when, but he nodded stupidly instead.

“I almost came while Dee was shaving it.”

The glistening wetness where his sister’s full, swollen lips sealed made Evan wonder if Gloria wasn’t close to an orgasm now. “Don’t let me fall.” She leaned further back. “Taste it.”

It shouldn’t be any different than licking Gloria’s pussy in the Sonic parking lot, right? Wrong, Evan thought. His sister’s words, “taste it”, the mature, commanding tone of her voice, and the intensity in Gloria’s eyes made it completely different. Their location in the kitchen, on his father’s chair, scared Evan more than eating her out in public. If his tongue touched those succulent swells of hairless flesh and tasted the young girl’s desire, he would lay her on the table and devour Gloria like Candy. They would fuck right there where his father ate, and he’d never be able to stop fucking his little sister. “I better not.”

“Why not?”

“One taste will never be enough. I’ll never be able to stop.”

“Good. Go ahead.”

Evan said, “I can’t,” as he stretched out his tongue. “I really shouldn’t.” The tip of Evan's extended tongue turned upward, touching the slit where the swells of Gloria's pussy lips met. She sighed, grabbed his head, and jerked her middle forward. Evan’s taste buds were plunged into a fiery flood of desire. His breath caught, and Evan almost gagged the way he had the first time his tongue was inside a woman’s pussy. Not a woman, it had been Candy. He gulped, then licked and sucked and drank his sister’s pungent juices.

Gloria held his head and humped. “Stop.” Evan got his face out of her crotch. “Please, take it away from me.”

“No, Evan, don't stop.”

“I have to.”

“Why.”

“Because I can't . . . won’t be able to stop.”

“So.” Gloria pushed her ass back, leaned over, and buried Evan’s face in her cleavage.

He grabbed a tit and ground the nipple into his palm. Another hand pressed down on Evan's and helped him squeeze. He pushed Gloria up and opened his eyes. Wearing nothing but the tan she got at Rebecca's house, Deana was behind Gloria, reaching around for the girl’s tits. Evan sighed and moved his hands to Gloria’s ass. She straightened, leaned back on Deana, and shoved her crotch back at Evan’s face. The hairless flesh was like warm, wet dough spreading for his tongue. He thrust it until Gloria’s hole opened for him. She humped wildly then used his head like a pommel and tried to mount his face.

"Oh, shit, Evan, ah, that's so good." Gloria tugged at his hair and rode his tongue until her legs stiffened and her knees dug in like she was riding a horse bareback, then his sister went limp.

The girl's pussy was like a heat-seeking missile that always seemed to land on his erection. The warm wetness penetrated his shorts while his hands moved like a knife buttering hot toast, melting into the curves and valleys of Gloria's naked ass. He kissed her and she sucked and licked lustfully around his mouth for a taste of her own pussy. “Do you like how I taste?” Gloria asked.

Evan sucked her tongue and said, “More than anything.”

Deana smirked with her chin resting on Gloria's shoulder. He watched her long, delicate fingers slide around the bulging swells of Gloria's side-boob. The way Deana fondled Gloria's tits and pinched her nipples made him gulp. Gloria shoved the waistband of his shorts down. Was there any point in fighting it?

Deana turned Gloria's head and leaned in for a kiss that made Evan want to scream. His kid sister sucked on Deana's long tongue like a cock, while Deana mauled the girl's tits.

"Dee, what is this?" Evan asked.

“Foreplay.” Deana moved beside them and pulled her shoulders back.

The small, firm breasts pushed upward, and Gloria took the swollen, pink cap between her lips. No, Evan decided, there wasn't any point in fighting it. He sucked Deana's other tit. How had he ended up in a world where his little sister was sharing his twin’s tits with him?

Gloria's middle rolled like a wave, dragging her crotch up and down his boner. Evan thought about those mornings in his bed, his little sister on top of him, her ass in his hands while she ground her wet, swollen pussy on his cock, pleading with her eyes for him to put it in? No matter how much he had wanted it, Evan always managed to stop himself. Why? Gloria was too young, too small for him, not ready, and his little sister, his baby girl.

None of those things had changed. Long, delicate, knowing fingers wrapped around his erection. Both of his sisters watched his face as the bald, puffy swells of Gloria’s pussy greeted his cock head. Deana continued to move it around, collecting the hot, slippery juices.

That was one thing that was different this time, Deana was there for Gloria, and his twin wanted to experience it with him. The tip of his dick poked the tiny hole, and Evan thought about how tight it had been on his tongue. Evan wanted it to fit, wanted to take his little sister’s virginity. That’s what was different. He wasn’t going to do it just so someone else couldn’t be her first. He loved Gloria, and she wanted this, so why shouldn’t he be her first?

Evan held Gloria's face and stared into her eyes. She bit her lip and applied more weight. He twisted the ring on her finger. “I love you so mu—Ahh, fuck.” He was inside of Gloria for the first time. Her eyes watered. Deana’s arms came around and held Gloria. He watched his twin as she pushed their little sister down.

“Oh, God, Dee, he's in . . . all the way in. I feel it here.” She pressed a hand to her belly, and Deana placed hers on top of it. Both rings were visible, except Gloria wore hers on the left hand.

Evan smiled even though he knew he was fucked. Deana put her chin on Gloria’s shoulder, their cheeks touching, both staring at him. “Don’t worry, everything will work out,” Deana said and kissed him.

Probably not, Evan thought, but he was sharing Gloria’s first time with Deana, and he had never been more in love with both of them.

“Oooooh.” Gloria rose, then eased down again. “It’s . . . it’s, oh, it’s good.”

Evan supposed he always knew it would happen, but making love to Gloria while Deana stared into his eyes was more than he could have imagined. He held Gloria's neck and pulled her mouth to his. She kissed so much like Candy.

Deana didn't have to help anymore, so she got on her knees and watched Evan's huge cock slide in and out of Gloria’s body. Every time she dropped down again, her tiny hole became more accustomed to his girth, and Gloria moved faster, and faster, and too fast. The switch flipped in Evan’s balls, but Gloria was finally riding him with confidence, so he tried to hold it back. He had emptied so many loads inside Gloria’s mother, so why not—That was stupid even for him to think. “Ah, I'm gonna cum.”

Gloria’s thrusting hips continued even after Deana yanked his cock free. Evan almost screamed when Deana plunged the squirting knob into her mouth. “Ah, fuck, oh fuck, Dee.”

Gloria quivered and jerked, then collapsed against Evan. Deana rose with cum in her hair and started rubbing Gloria’s back.

“Dee, can I watch you and Evan do it?”

"I guess," Deana said.

“Hey, I’m not a machine.” More supplements, Evan thought, please.

It wasn’t until Gloria stood on shaky legs, holding her crotch, that Evan fully grasped what had happened. The girl he used to tell himself he didn’t want to fuck, which was a lie, had turned into the girl Evan knew he shouldn’t fuck, and now he had. If there was a box worse than the Pandora’s box he had already opened with Deana, Jayda, and Becky, Gloria was it. It would be impossible to live under the same roof with that sexy little Candy clone and not do it again, and again, and forever again. I’m fucked, Evan thought.

He was about to ask Deana why she hadn't gone to the bathroom with Gloria, but the expression on his twin’s face told Evan exactly what she was about to say, so he started talking, “Is she okay? Did I hurt her? You should go check on her, shouldn’t you? Maybe I should—”

“Shut up,” Deana said. “Are you crazy, stupid or both? You weren’t going to pull out.”

“I wanted to, wanted it to be good for her, so I was trying to wait as long as possible. But she kept going.”

“Evan.” Deana blew out a long exasperated breath as she plopped down on Evan’s lap. “You have to be the one to make sure—Gloria isn’t, she—Candy got pregnant at the same age. I’m not saying Gloria would want to, but you have to wear protection. She’s, me and Gloria, we—”

“Dee, just tell me.”

“That’s what I’m doing.”

“No, you’re talking so you don’t have to tell me something.”

Deana looked around the room. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been keeping something from me for a while, and now I know it has to do with Gloria. Just tell me.”

“It doesn’t,” Deana said. “It’s me, well okay, it’s both of us, but I’m actually your sister, and Gloria isn’t. She told me she had a dream about one of us being pregnant, so.”

It was obvious what his sister was doing. “Okay, I’ll let it go . . . for now, but promise you’ll tell me eventually?”

“Someday, maybe, if I can.” Deana kissed Evan’s cheek. “For now, make sure Gloria doesn’t get knocked up, please.”

“I will, Jeez, of course.” He held Deana tight, knowing she never planned to give up that secret. “What was it like watching us?"

Deana looped her hair behind her ears. "It was different, not like watching you and Rebecca."

"You got pretty excited," he said.

"Yeah, but being a big sister can be like being a mother, I guess. I was scared for her, excited for her too, and excited with her, but part of me thought I needed to protect her. But I knew how much she needed, wanted it to happen. When you were in, all the way inside her, shit, I had this crazy, wild, excited fear. I knew it hurt, and I knew how good that pain is. Gloria kinda joined me, we were both safe, both on the other side of virginity. That’s when the wild feeling came, and I wanted to see her get fucked more than anything."

He wiped his forehead. "Jeez, that’s, uh—You weren't jealous?"

"No, no, I love her so much, love you, love Candy, so it's like I'm just happy for you and them. I want them to feel good, safe, and happy. That’s how you make me feel."

It suddenly seemed as if there was a timer, a loud, clicking timer, counting down the minutes until something worse than Evan had been imagining happened. The new life they had been living would end. He wouldn’t be the man of the house anymore, yet somehow it was his job to make them feel safe. His mother would be off limits, and Evan would have to avoid being in the same room with his father if Deana, or Gloria were there. It all worried Evan, of course, but Deana was terrified of the life they lived before. Why?

“I know dad can be a dick, and it’s worse for you, but why do you hate him?” Evan saw it on Deana's face, whatever she said next would be a lie.

“I don’t, it’s just gonna be different, and we’ll have to be careful. It’ll all work out. I’m gonna go check on Gloria . . . spend a little sister time with her. We’ll talk later.”

Evan thought back to when Deana walking from the bathroom to her room in a towel was a huge risk if their father was home. He remembered the day she dared to stand at the kitchen sink in one. His life changed that day. Now, his sister was naked, walking away from the place where he had taken Gloria’s virginity. How was he supposed to live without gorgeous, naked girls walking around the house? I’m really fucked, Evan thought and went back to Candy’s phone. He opened a picture of the girl Deana seemed to have been cloned from.

In the bathroom, Gloria realized the sensation that she had to pee was only that, a sensation, so she went to her room, sat on the bed, held her crotch, and thought about the exact second Evan’s cock was in position. Their eyes met, and all the love she felt, the fear, excitement, and anticipation were reflecting back in her brother’s stare. There wasn't anybody better to give her virginity to. They would share it together, enjoy it, treasure it, and be bound forever by the joining of their flesh.

Evan’s silky dome had completely covered her opening. His stare was intense, but Gloria knew he would have stopped if she changed her mind or even looked as if he was hurting her. That’s how much he loves me, Gloria thought and answered his question the same way Evan was asking it, with her eyes.

Suddenly, the giant cock which had scared her earlier broke through. It was just the head, and it hurt. For a few seconds, Gloria considered the day Evan laid the full length of his dick down on her belly. The spongy firmness of his sack, changing shapes, had been against her clit, indicating how far her brother could go inside her body. It reached beyond her belly button. Evan had done it as a warning, and deterrent. That day it worked; she couldn’t imagine there was room inside her for all of him. It would break her, and that had terrified Gloria.

Not this time, Gloria thought. From deep inside, her body released a warm, lubricating fluid as a sign of approval. She lowered herself and felt her body opening for Evan. Then Deana was pushing her down, and there was no turning back. Her big brother and first crush had taken her virginity.

The hard, stiff, yet giving texture of a man’s cock, the stinging stretching feeling at her opening, the bludgeoning, boring that opened her insides all the way to her cervix, and the swelling pulse that indicated a baby might be blasted into her, would all be part of what Gloria remembered about her first.

The whole time, Gloria felt safe, protected, and loved by Evan and Deana. It didn’t matter that her brother was larger in every way. They fit together like a jigsaw puzzle, and there had only been one piece left and one place to push it. The world that Gloria knew was gone. The love she had always felt for Evan had changed. He could never be her brother again. They were lovers, and nobody other than Evan would ever put their dick in her. At any cost, Gloria would make sure that never happened.

Deana entered Gloria’s room, and her sister jumped up. “Turn that I just got fucked glow down.” She squinted and held up a hand. “You're blinding me.”

“Shut up.”

Deana closed the bedroom door. “It's true, so don't show your face after. You know what I mean?”

Gloria’s regretful nod showed that she totally got Deana's warning.

“How's your kitty?” Deana asked as she approached.

“It's crazy, sore, but like I can still feel him inside me. I can't believe how good it felt. He warmed me all the way through my body. It was amazing.”

“Yeah, it was,” Deana said. “Thank you for letting me be there.”

“No, thank you.” Gloria threw her arms around Deana and squeezed her. “You made it so much more special. Like we shared it, both lost my virginity together. That sounds nuts right?”

“Maybe, but I totally get it. How many sisters can say, we fucked our brother together?”

Gloria shook herself. “That sounds so bad, and good.”

“That’s because you're a bad little girl.” Deana jumped on the bed. “Come here.”

The naked girls laid on their sides, facing each other. Their legs twisted together. Deana ran her fingernails up and down Gloria's arm. “There’s a picture of Mom when she's not much older than you, with a huge belly.”

“Yeah, you showed me.”

“Were you trying to match her or make your silly dream come true?”

“It wasn't silly, someone, probably Mom, is going to have a baby. I saw it.”

“Whatever, but that's a dream. In real life, if you got pregnant, fuck, I don't even want to think about it.”

“I wasn't trying to.”

“Then you must not understand how it works,” Deana said. “Boy shoots inside girl, and girl—”

“I know, I know, but it was finally starting to feel really good, and I didn't wanna disappoint Evan. You know, if—”

“If nothing!” Deana squeezed Gloria’s shoulder. “I can't be there every time to pull out for you.”

“I know, it was stupid.” Gloria sighed in resignation. “It was crazy. I didn't want to stop, and for a second I didn't care what happened. I just wanted to feel him inside me.”

Deana pulled Gloria closer and kissed her forehead. “I know that feeling, I do, but.” She stopped, wanting to tell Gloria everything, but it was Candy who needed to tell Gloria who her father was and who her sister was. “Getting pregnant would be bad, getting pregnant by Evan would be—You can’t even imagine how bad that would be.” Deana could; she knew how destructive it had been. No, she thought, it had only been destructive because of that asshole. Maybe they needed to tell Evan, then he would help end that mother fucker?

“Dee, I promise, it won't happen again. It scared me, and now it scares me more.”

“Good.”

“Will you really let me watch?” Gloria asked.

“Yup, I got a plan for that, too.” Deana rolled Gloria on her back, climbed on top, and hummed her groin against Gloria’s. “Oh, oh, oh, Evan, fuck me, Evan, fuck me.”

The sisters giggled and curled their bodies together. "You’re great Spooner," Deana said. Her hand was sandwiched between Gloria's thighs.

"You too," Gloria whispered. "You’re softer than my favorite teddy bear. I love you, really, really love you."

"Not as much as I love you." She nibbled on Gloria's ear.

Candy tried four different radio stations and searched Spotify, but it was hopeless. There wasn’t a song that would stop the voices in her head. They were stupid, a frustrating waste of mental energy, Candy knew that, but her brain kept on imagining the conversations she would have with Sally. She thought about the thousand different ways Darlene might have reacted, and the millions of things Sally could have said. None of them would make anything better. She had told Darlene who her mother was, then pleaded with Sally. It’s the right thing to do, she doesn’t hate you, she wants to meet you. What if I was wrong, Candy asked herself?

In hopes of turning off the conversations in her head, Candy replayed the crazy scene with Evan in the kitchen. She looked in the rearview mirror and said, “I’m gonna fuck Evan tomorrow right before John gets home.” Sally wouldn’t be happy about it. She might even yell, but Candy would do it anyway. It was her defense, her fight or flight, the only way a hopeless, helpless state of paralysis wouldn’t crush her when John walked through that door. Evan would be there with her, his cum fresh and warm inside her, reminding Candy of the baby growing in her belly, Evan’s baby.

Then everything would go back—“No,” Candy screamed, “nothing will ever be the same.” How could it be? How could she sleep next to the man who forced Sally and Bobby to leave without their daughter, then gave Sally’s baby away, and kept Evan, Deana, and Cindy apart, raped and— “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Candy pounded the steering wheel.

Had she subconsciously known that John would hurt Gloria and Deana? All those years of sick role-playing and rough sex had been to make sure John was happy and satisfied. The SUV veered off the pavement and bounced through a grassy ditch into a field. Her body jerked spastically, wracked with sobbing. How could she live, knowing she had let something happen to her baby girl?