I was really confused after that first Wednesday. Confused and sore. So sore I had to walk funny. Coach just grinned at me and I think some of the other girls maybe guessed since I saw them cover their mouth and giggle. I wasn't even totally sure what he did since I was lying on the horse and couldn't see. I guess I didn't want to think about it, even if I really did know.
The next Monday after practice I saw Coach talking to Sam in the corner near his office. She was looking down at the floor and biting her lip. Coach was down on one knee close to her. He had his hand on her shoulder. I thought she was about to cry. Coach waved to me. I wasn't sure what he wanted so I looked around to see if maybe he was waving at somebody else, but then he pointed right at me and gave me the 'come here' finger thing.
I stood next to Sam so the other girls couldn't see her. I guessed she was scared and embarrassed and them looking wasn't gonna help. She's only seven and so tiny it was easy to hide her behind my body.
Sam raised her eyes at me like maybe I was going to save her. I thought about it. I thought about what I did since I was Tuesday and I thought about my sore butt. But Sam is smart so I figured I'd let her sort it out for herself.
Coach said, "Sam's a bit anxious, Sarah. Last week we talked about what it takes to be successful, what it means to achieve our goals. And what it means to be Monday." He smiled his softest smile at Sam, the one that melts you inside. "I thought maybe if she talked to you, it would help her make a good choice." Coach understood too, about the deciding.
I was never Monday, so I didn't know exactly what he meant. I figured it was easier than Tuesday, since Wednesday was harder than Tuesday and Monday was always the youngest. How bad could it be? And Sam was the best of the little kids. Coach was watching me like when I was about to try something new and hard.
I put my hand on Sam's other shoulder. "You're so good, Sam. You tumble like mad. Way better than the nines even. It's awesome. You make me jealous sometimes." Sam had really short hair, almost like a boy's. I touched it. Her face lifted a tiny bit. "You want to go to States next year, don't you?" Sam nodded, staring at the floor. "Coach knows how to get you there better than anybody. I wouldn't have gone to States and medaled unless I... did e-everything he said." Coach nodded like when I did a move that he didn't think I could do. The look that makes you feel the best.
It seemed like Sam wanted to ask a question but couldn't get it out. I guessed what the question was, so I squeezed her shoulder. Coach put his hand on her back and pushed her a little towards his office. She started walking that way. Coach stood up and put his hand on my back. "Why don't you stay as well, Sarah. I think it'll help Sam to have another girl who knows what we expect at this gym." He used question words, but it wasn't a question. I walked behind Sam through the office door. She kept looking back at me and each time I just touched her back. I didn't push. Coach closed the door behind us and locked it. Sam looked scared when she saw him do it.
Coach sat on the bench and we were standing in front of him. He took both of Sam's hands in his. Hers looked so small. "Successful gymnasts aren't shy, Samantha. You're technically excellent for your age, but you're like a little robot on the floor. Your personality doesn't come through. It's as though you're all wrapped up in yourself. The judges and the audience will feel this too, and your scores will suffer. Gymnastics isn't just about the moves, Sam. It's a performance. Do you understand?" He waited for a few second until Sam finally nodded.
Coach went on. "Sarah had the opposite problem. When she came here she was all personality. She didn't mind people looking at her. In fact, she loves showing off. Don't you, Sarah?" I felt my face get hot but I nodded. "What Sarah lacked was discipline. So I've helped her with that. I've shown her what level of commitment and dedication is required. Isn't that right, Sarah?" Hotter face, but I nodded again. "So, if Sarah can learn discipline, you can learn to be a performer. You have to completely let go of any sort of shyness. Sarah can help you with that too."
I got a knot in my tummy when he said that. I was getting so I could tell when Coach had something in mind. I tried to smile. Coach Harkins' face was like when he first caught me with my underpants on under my leotard. "Sarah, show Sam what it means to not be shy."
You maybe think now that I'm a bad person. But I didn't make Sam do anything. I just showed her what I decided about what I wanted, and what Coach wanted, and how the one had to be for the other to be. And he was right about how I didn't mind people looking. So I took off my leotard and handed it to Coach. Sam got totally red and tried not to look at me. Coach said, "There's my lovely Sarah. Not shy at all. Look at her, Sam. It's ok."
Sam turned towards me but her eyes kept darting all over the place. "It's ok, Sam. I do like it. It's kinda neat, really... it makes me feel pretty, how people look at me. You're really pretty too."
Coach pointed to the mat. "Face to face split stretches, girls." That's where you sit facing a partner and you put your feet against the other person's feet and push your legs apart to work on splits. I sat down. Sam did too. I put my legs out. Her legs are shorter so she had to spread more. I held out my hands and she took them. The way it works is you pull your partner forward so they have to bend over and it moves them a little closer to you so your feet push each other to split more, and then they pull you and you go back and forth. Sam already had her middle split so it was easy for her. It was weird cuz when she leaned over my legs were way wide and her face was kinda in my lap. She couldn't help but look then.
After a couple of minutes Coach put his hand on my head. "Stop pulling but stay stretched." We both sat up. I was red from the stretching and Sam was red from everything probably. Maybe she was getting used to it since she was looking between my legs all the time now. Coach noticed.
"If you think about it, Sam, you're practically naked in your uniform anyway. People can see every outline of your body. Every time you lift your arms or spread your legs, they see the shape of you, every nook and cranny." Coach eyes were between Sam's legs. Her leotard was pulled tight there and he was right. She might as well have been naked. "You can't think of your body as a private thing if you're going to be an athlete. It's beautiful and you should want people to see it. In the original Olympics in ancient Greece, the competitors didn't wear any clothes."
Sam nodded a tiny bit. I thought maybe that was it but Coach wasn't nearly done.
"Finger your cunt, Sarah." He said it just like that, like he was talking about the weather. Sam covered her mouth with her hand and turned away. "I want to watch you masturbate. And I want Sam to watch you too."
I knew what the word meant from Health class. They said people did it but it was supposed to be private. Ha ha ha.
Despite everything it still felt weird to do it in front of them. I guess I wasn't doing it enough for Coach. "We're trying to show Sam what it means to perform, Sarah. That means letting your feelings show. Does if feel good to touch yourself?" I nodded. "Then let's see it on your face. Let us see how it makes you feel, pretty Sarah. Naked Sarah. Sarah spread wide."
Somehow the way it was so naughty got to me and it started to feel different, like I really wanted them to see me. Coach put his hand on Sam's head and turned it to look at me. "Sarah has no shame, Sam. Watch her touch herself. She wants you to look. She wants you to see her bare cunt and her fingers all over it. She wants you to know how it feels. Look at her face. She's feeding on us, on our watching... it's making her more excited... that's what you need in your performance, Sam... to feed on the eyes of the judges and the crowd, to have them drive you to be perfect."
"It's time to decide, Sam. I'd really hate to lose you. You have such potential. The question you have to answer is - do you have what it takes? We can help you, but only if you're willing to get outside yourself." Coach waited and watched Sam.
Finally she said, really quietly, "If I want to stay, I have to do it?"
Coach said, "If you want to be successful in life, you need to do what's necessary, Samantha. Not just this, but many things. And yes, this is a necessary thing if you want to progress at this gym."
Sam stared at the mat for a while. "W-what do I do?" she finally said. Coach pointed his chin at me. "What should Sam do if she wants to be successful, Sarah?" he said.
It was really warm between my legs and it was hard to get my breath. Maybe I should have made Coach tell her, but maybe it was easier for her to hear it from me. "She should take off her uniform?" Coach looked at me some more. "A-and... give it to you." He nodded.
Sam's eyes went to the door and then to me. I saw her knees tremble when she stood up. She turned her back and started to peel her top down. It reminded me that I turned away like that too the first time Coach had me strip in front of him. Now I knew it wouldn't matter. Now that she was taking it off, he'd see everything, do everything, have everything from her. She seemed even smaller without her clothes, her butt so narrow. She had good muscles for seven though. I know Coach liked that. He was grinning like a cat.
Coach was taking charge now. "Turn," he said. She turned around, holding her leotard in front of her. Coach held out his hand. She covered between her legs with one hand and handed him the uniform with the other. He took it and laid it on the bench. She was shaking pretty bad.
"This is your choice, Sam? I want you to say it. And put your arms at your sides. No shame." Sam let her arms drop. Coach smiled. "That's my girl. You are perfect, Samantha. Tell me that you'll do what's necessary to be successful."
Sam let her arms drop. Her head did too. "I-I'll do it." It was just a whisper. I was surprised that Coach didn't make her say it louder. I thought I would have, if I were him.
Coach pointed to that mat. "Sit. Stretches with Sarah again." Sam bit her lip. I smiled at her and she sat and put her feet on mine. She was tiny down there, just a little swell out from her tummy and a slit. There wasn't much to see even when it opened up. I thought about Becca's that I'd licked and how hers had more of the inside parts. I dunno why but I thought about what it would be like to lick Sam there too.
Coach got down on the mat behind Sam. He leaned over her shoulder and talked into her ear really quietly. "Samantha... finger your cunt. Just like Sarah. Masturbate for us. Show yourself. No shame." She didn't do it right away, so he took her hand and put it between her legs, pressed it tight against her. She closed her eyes. "No Sam. Watch Sarah. Watch her and do what she does."
Coach kept his hands on her and kept telling her stuff to do. He said, "I've touched you in all of these place before, haven't I, Sam? I've touched your chest, and your ass, and your cunt. I've held you up with my hand between your legs when I've spotted you. You let me do all that, Sam. You liked it, didn't you? You liked when my hand pressed here? You never said no, did you? Quite the contrary. I felt you push back against me when the other girls weren't looking, grinding your little cunny against my fingers. That's when I knew you had potential, Sam. That you could express yourself. That you wanted more. You've been asking for this, ever since you came here a year ago."
Coach was watching my face even though his hands were all over Sam. The look that couldn't look away. It went right through me. I felt my insides squeeze tight and I let out a squeak. Coach kissed Sam's hair and whispered to her, but I could still hear. "Sarah's just cum for us, Sam. What a lovely thing. You'll learn about that very soon. I think she likes seeing you this way." I blushed but hopefully he thought it was just cuz of the rubbing. I was totally out of breath.
Coach Harkins kissed Sam's neck and held her against his chest. She was crying a little.
"I'm so very proud of you, Sam. You really broke out of your shell today. You've got such potential, but also so much more work to do. Are you ready to be Monday?" Sam's head was down but she nodded. Coach grinned. "That's my girl. Then you'll come to my office each Monday after practice. I won't have to come get you. You're choosing to come. Are we understood?"
Sam nodded. Coach still wouldn't let her go. "Are we understood, Samantha?"
Sam raised her eyes. "Yes Coach." She sounded a little more sure of herself.
"That's my girl." Coach went to his desk and picked up her leotard. "Let's do one more thing to help you express yourself." He turned the uniform inside out and stretched out the part that goes between your legs. There's always an extra piece of cloth there on the inside. I guess it's so you don't show as much. Coach took a pair of scissors from his desk. Sam watched as he cut the extra cloth out. She had that look again, like she wanted to say something but just couldn't. Coach stood up and threw our clothes back to us. Sam turned her back as she put it on. She'd get over that soon, I thought.
When we were dressed I put my arm over Sam's shoulder and we walked out together. I couldn't help but see how what Coach did to her uniform made things show even more than normal. She kept looking down at herself. We talked about how much our ankles hurt and what a pain school was and pretty much anything at all except being Monday.
The next day was Tuesday. Malika. We call her Lightning cuz she's so fast on her tumbling passes. Her skin is just amazing, so dark it's almost purple. When she smiles her teeth are so white you could see them for a mile I think. She was Monday before, so she didn't have to be told to go to the office after practice. I saw she was chewing her lip. I hoped Coach wouldn't ask me for more help. I smiled at her and she smiled back a little so I guess she was ok.
Wednesday came and I was pretty much a wreck at practice again. Coach was being extra nice to me, maybe cuz of Sam. But he still gave me crap for falling off the beam on my aerial. I actually yelled back at him. "Let's see youuuuu do it then!" He looked mad for a second and the other girls looked scared, but then he laughed. "This is about what you want, Sarah. Not about what I want." Knowing what was going to happen after practice and I wondered if that was really true.
When I locked the door behind me in his office after practice, he just watched me without saying anything. It was awks. Finally I just started to take off my uniform but he held up his hand and I stopped. I thought he was angry with me.
"You didn't believe me, did you?" I was confused. He went on. "When I said that this is about what you want." I thought about it. I decided that he was right. I didn't believe it so I shook my head.Coach nodded a little. "Why are you here, Sarah? I mean, why are you in this office, right now?"
I gave the easy answer. "I want to go to States again so maybe I can go to Nationals."
"You could go to another gym and you might be able to accomplish that with them too. In fact, I'll write you a great recommendation if you like. You deserve to achieve whatever success you can. You've become an outstanding, dedicated athlete." He waited. My tummy was in a knot. Was he telling me to leave? I felt like I was going to cry.
"Tell me. Monday, with Samantha. Was that about you wanting to go to States?"
"N-no... I wanted to help h-her... cuz she's so good and she wants to go to States..."
"That's very kind of you, Sarah. I actually think it's true. You're kind, unlike many of the girls. Chloe might have scratched your eyes out if you'd stood in the way of her progress. But you're different from them in other ways, too. Important ways. Helping Sam was only part of the story. There's something else there, too."
My knees were wobbly. My brain was racing around in circles.
"Did I tell you to cum for me? With Sam." I shook my head. "When did you cum?"
I wasn't sure. "W-when I was... you know... rubbing..." His look was drilling into me. "When did you cum, Sarah?"
I felt his eyes in my tummy again and I knew the answer. I said it really quiet. "I guess... w-when you... looked at me."
Coach smiled, the soft smile, the melty one. He was really quiet too. "Why are you here in this office right now, Sarah?"
I didn't want to say it but I knew he wouldn't let me not say it. "C-cuz I want you to l-look at me... like t-that?"
"Is that a question?" Grrrrrr. He never let up. I shook my head and he waited.
"Cuz I want you to look at me like that." The knot in my tummy felt like it snapped and unwrapped like a rubber band breaking.
"That's my girl." He stood up and hugged me so tight. He never hugged me that way before. I got lost in it. I buried my face in his shirt. He held me for a long time until my knees weren't wobbly anymore. When my breath finally caught up, he kissed my hair and he said, "Now then. Show me what you need to do to have my complete and utter focus, pretty Sarah."
It felt so different this time. I put my hand on his chest and pushed him down in his chair. I mean, I pushed like I wanted him to sit down. He's way way bigger than me. But he got the idea and sat. I felt his eyes when I peeled off my leotard and handed it to him. He just threw it to the side and never looked away from me. I opened his desk drawer and got the slippery stuff. I undid his pants and he lifted his butt so I could pull them down. I climbed on his lap facing him and put the stuff on my hands and then used my hands to put it on him and put it on me. And I sat on him. On his cock. So it went inside me. In my ass. And it hurt but I saw his face and I touched myself in front and rubbed hard and he held my hips and he grunted and I guess I did too. He pulled me down and his eyes closed for a second but then he opened them and I drank from his eyes and he lifted me up and I pushed myself down and then I lifted myself up. I fucked my ass with his cock and I rubbed and rubbed and when it happened I couldn't even see for a minute and then I was laying on his chest and clinging to his neck like a baby.
I don't really even remember leaving the office that day. On the way out of the gym for some reason I read the big sign that was on the wall. I guess it had been there all along but I never paid any attention to it. It was this quote. "The first step in getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want." Some guy named Ben Stein. Maybe he's a friend of Coach's.
Wednesdays were different after that. Everything was different, really. I thought Coach would be easier on me but it was the opposite. He made me work harder than ever. It felt good though. I guess I had his complete focus, like he said.
When I went to his office after he wouldn't say anything. He made me say what I wanted. It still was weird and embarrassing to say that stuff but I got used to it. He never made it easy. "Do the tongue thing" only got his eyebrows up at me. Finally I got so I could say "Lick my cunt" without turning totally red. After a while I could even tell my Dad when I wanted to suck his cock and not be all awkward. It was so cute how he always gave me the "oh no we shouldn't" thing and then the "oh I guess if you really want to" thing. I told him it was about what I wanted, not what he wanted.
I turned 11 before the next States. I also made Level 10 and started going to Elite camps. I won the vault at States. I got silver in the beam. Ya, the aerial. I didn't fall though. I just didn't stick it. Coach was happy. I was happy. We started talking about Nationals. Not this year, Coach said. But maybe next.
Then Chloe destroyed her knee. It was really awful. I didn't see it, but it snapped so loud you could hear it everyplace in the gym. Made me sick when I saw how bent it was. She was totaled. I remember how she looked at Coach when they carried her to the ambulance. It was the saddest I ever saw anybody look. She knew what she wanted and now she knew she couldn't have it. Coach seemed sad too. I wasn't jealous though, or glad it happened. I knew it could happen to me pretty much any minute. I was just lucky.
The day after at practice, Coach told me to go see Becca. I kinda guessed what was up. I bit my lip.
"Do I have to?"
Coach gave me a funny look. "It's time, don't you think?"
"What about Chloe?"
"We'll all miss her. I don't think she'll compete again."
I frowned. It made sense. "Ya," was all I could think to say. He touched my hair.
I remembered what Chloe said when I got to be Wednesday. My tummy got tight. "But, Coach... why Becca?"
I wasn't asking because I didn't know what Thursday meant. It was kinda obvious. I just didn't know why Becca had to be involved. Coach figured out what I was thinking. He was good at that.
It took Coach a minute to answer. "Mostly because it's important to her, really. She has her needs, like you have yours. I want all of my girls to have what they need, Sarah. I think you can understand that." Coach yelled across the gym. "Sell it, Sam. Are you a robot?" Sam landed her back sommy with a twist and posed with her hip out and a smile that made everybody look at her. "That's the way. Now you've got the judges in the palm of your hand."
Becca still made me nervous. It didn't help when I texted her that night.
'coach said i need to see you'
'what do you mean? you know about chloe'
'come tomorrow after school'
'are you mad or something?'
I hadn't seen Becca in a while. She said she wasn't mad but she didn't smile or anything when I got there. She was almost 15 now and she looked like a college girl. She told me she was dating a college guy and I believed her. It was like she was bragging and I think she didn't like that I wasn't all jealous.
We went to her room. Naomi wasn't there. She just said, "Strip." I didn't know what to expect, really. I just did it and sat back on the bed. She was at her desk looking at me. It was weird to be naked with her all dressed.
"I thought he was in love with me, too," she finally said. Her voice was mean but sad too somehow.
"Oh." I had no idea what to say. I never thought Coach was in love with me. I didn't really know anything about that kind of love. It wasn't like that.
"I thought he was going to leave his wife and marry me." She laughed a little but it wasn't a happy laugh. "But then I met Tracy at a regional meet. She's a gymnastics coach now at Stanford. She was an alt on the National team about 5 years ago."
"Umm..." I wasn't sure where this was going.
"I guess she saw how I was looking at him. She put her arm around me. And she said, 'I know that look. I had that look. When I was Thursday.'"
My eyes got big. "Oh my god."
Becca nodded. "It took me five years to get to be Thursday, Sarah. It's taken you less than two. I think he lets me be Friday because he knows... it fills an empty place for me, to do something for him. To do anything for him. I..." She stopped and turned away. Now she just sounded sad. "So... he's not in love with you. Just so you know. He'll take what he wants and then he'll be done with you. The next Thursday will be there. He'll use you like he's used all of us. But I still... I mean..."
I bit my lip hard. I guessed what she wanted to hear me say, but I only said it cuz it was true. "I don't want to be Friday. Not ever."
Becca looked surprised. "He told me about you and Sam. How you 'helped.' He said you were amazing." She didn't sound like she thought I was amazing.
I shrugged. "I helped her decide, maybe. She's happy about it now. She'll be Tuesday pretty soon I think."
"Using her too. Using her seven-year-old mouth."
I couldn't speak for Sam, so I just spoke for myself. "He's not using me. I'm getting what I want."
Becca laughed. "Oh, so you want his cock in your ass?"
I swallowed. "Sometimes. Sometimes I want him to fuck my ass cuz it makes me cum like a thunderstorm. Sometimes I want him to lick my cunt. And cuz I need it... the way he looks at me. I need that. So maybe I'm using him."
Becca was quiet. I don't think she expected me to talk that way. I was kinda surprised myself.
"I don't want to be... you, Becca. I'm sorry that you're mad or sad or whatever you are. It's not my fault. I don't think Coach loves me that way. I think he wants me to get what I need. He gets what he needs. I guess he gets a lot of what he needs. Geez. Every day. But we all decided for ourselves, didn't we? I mean... nobody's told, not ever, not in all these years. I went to him, after you told me what he wanted. I went to his office and I took off my clothes and I sucked his cock. I did that. Nobody made me."
Becca stared at the floor. She actually smiled a little, a weird little smile, like she was letting go of something. "You are such a little slut," she said after a minute.
I smiled too. "Maybe I always was. And you're a real cunt," I answered. It was the only thing to say. We both giggled.
I was still naked. It was awks. "Ummm. So. Why am I here? I remember Chloe said you scared the crap out of her when it was her turn to be Thursday."
Becca shook her head. "I wasn't nice to Chloe. She wasn't a nice girl. Not that I was nice to any of them, really. Not to you, even though I could tell you were different, that you liked it."
I swallowed. "Will you be nice to me, just this once?" I figured it couldn't hurt to ask.
Becca went to her dresser and opened the drawer. She took out something that looked like... a cock. I guess I knew there were such things but I still stared at it like it was an alien. I noticed it was about the same size as Coach's. I knew his pretty well by then.
She put her hand on my chest and pushed me back onto the bed. Familiar, but different this time. She laid next to me and kissed my cheek. "Spread," she said. I did. She slid her hand down and rubbed, soft at first, making me warm. She kissed down my tummy and kissed me there... her tongue wiggled against me, then into me. I let my fingers tangle in her hair. After a while I felt it... working into me, a little at a time, her tongue always moving. A fullness... an ache and a burn as it stretched me. It invaded me, to a point... I imagined a taut ring of me around it... and then it stopped. It pushed... a sharper pain... it backed away. Her tongue again, at my button, her lips around it like a deep kiss... my bottom lifted, pressing against her... as I felt the first spasm the fullness pushed home with a... pop? Did I actually hear it? I'm not sure. I felt it and shuddered. A stab of pain, bright and hot, and a rush of heat... a trickle down my bottom... I squealed and thrashed but her lips were locked and refused to let go... the waves took the pain and spread it through my body, dulling it somehow, washing it through me and over me and then away, leaving the fullness and the burning and the ache.
She came back to my side and held me. Her lips at my ear. "It's the best, once you get used to it." I could only blink and pant and swallow. After my twitches subsided, she whispered. "I got to say it."
"No. No, you don't. You don't got to say it."
"Oh, I think I do. Especially to you. Pretty Sarah. Pretty, naked Sarah. Welcome to Thursday."
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