Date: Fri, 24 Jun 2022 12:03:00 +0000
From: olhap8464972175@elude.in
Subject: SCHOOLBOY STATS

SCHOOLBOY STATS

by Oliver Hapland

Joseph gets a shock when he realises that the shameful secrets he told a
girl are being read out in front of the class. But he's not alone!

This story is light-hearted fem-dom type fun with a bit of satire. It's
been sitting on my computer for some time and I share it so that others
can enjoy it.

Do let me know what you think; I love to hear comments - they make a
writer's life less lonely!

Email me at olhap8464972175@elude.in

Warning: this story contains descriptions of sexual activity by boys. This
story is fiction. It is an artistic exploration of its themes and does not
condone them.

Please consider making a donation to Nifty to continue providing all these
wonderful stories http://donate.nifty.org/




SCHOOLBOY STATS

When Joseph saw some of his most private "facts" being written on the
whiteboard for all the class to see, he felt himself burning with shame
and indignation.

But in spite of himself, and although he would never have wished it
ordinarily, Joseph realised that it was actually quite exciting to have
other people know what he did with himself in private. In fact it was
making him hard in his trousers right now.

The worst thing was that Ms Wilmott must have known about all this and
given the girls permission to do it. Ms Wilmott was the Head of Year and a
science and part-time P.E. teacher to be feared, especially if you were a
boy.

Camille Paglia Academy was a school that took equality very seriously. The
school's mission statement intoned "we believe it is incredibly important
that the academy should impact every child to have the opportunity so that
s/he can reach her/his full potential going forward, no matter what their
sex, gender, sexual orientation, colour, race, creed, religion, ability,
disability, shoe size . . ." and so it went on. There was nothing wrong
with such lofty aims, of course, but what this meant in practice was that
if you were a boy - particularly if you were a white boy whose parents
weren't on benefits - the school went out of its way to make things
difficult for you.

At Camille Paglia, girls were squarely in the driving seat.

The Head Teacher, Mr Schrivelknacker, wasted no opportunity to signal his
total commitment to the cause, populating all of the school's key posts
with strong-minded independent women.

Ms Wilmott was one such appointment. She arranged her science classroom so
that all the front benches were occupied by girls. Girls were always
handed any worksheet first, and asked first when the class put their hands
up. Ms Wilmott would listen closely to what any girl had to say, nodding
sagely at every salient point. But when a boy finally got to speak, she
would stand hand on hip, looking down her nose at him with a wry smirk,
before dismissing his question or observation with a movement of the hand,
as if she were swatting a fly.

Today her class of girls and boys were presenting the results of their
surveys into "behavioural characteristics within a populational subgroup".
Joseph had already given his presentation with Kevin and Liam. They had
looked at the differences in behaviour of people walking to school and
produced tables of statistics for how long it took them and how often they
did it.

In another group, Ralph, Nathan and James had studied people who played
football. Their project had been criticised by Ms Wilmott for not
including enough girls.

"But we couldn't find many girls who played football, Miss," they had
protested, at which the teacher launched into a tirade about how this was
evidence of the patriarchal oppression of women throughout history. The
boys had felt like pointing out that historical oppression by the
patriarchy wasn't really their fault - but trying to argue such a thing
with this woman was futile.

Then a couple of groups of girls had given their, fairly mediocre, talks
and been highly praised.

But the presentation given by Nicola, Kerry and Bina had made everyone sit
up and listen.

"We have looked at how often different boys masturbate," said Kerry
standing up at the front of the class with the other two girls. She
pronounced it as "massderrbate".

Kerry was a heavy-set girl with glasses. Reading from a cue card she
continued: "Boys' masturbation is sometimes called 'wanking off', 'tossing
off', or 'jerking' or 'jacking'. Boys do it to their penises to make them
ejaculate sperm. Usually boys do it with their hand, but they can use
other things, like their bed or a bottle."

There was some embarrassed shuffling and murmuring from the boys in the
class and nervous giggling from the girls watching.

Kerry passed the card to Nicola, a ginger girl with spots, who continued
reading: "A boy's testicles make millions of sperms every day and when
they are full he gets erections all the time and gets restless and badly
behaved. A boy's testicles hang between his legs. They are a boy's most
sensitive area. They are sometimes called 'balls' or 'bollocks'."

Then she handed the card to Bina, who was a shorter, dark eyed girl and
spoke with more intelligence: "When sperm shoots out of a boy's penis it
is called 'ejaculation' or 'coming'. All boys need to do it a lot and they
have to masturbate if they can't find girls who will let them have sex
with them."

Ms Wilmott nodded approvingly and the boys sank lower in their chairs.
Every one of them was recalling how, during the preceding week, he had
been approached by either Nicola, Kerry or Bina, acting very flirty, and
tricked into giving away some of his most intimate secrets. What fools
they all felt now.

Kerry had come up to Joseph as he was waiting for the door to be opened to
the music block for orchestra on Tuesday lunchtime. She had been very
interested in his trombone, stroking the case softly with her fingers and
asking him to open it up so she could have a look at his instrument. She
asked him how often he played it, and when he told her, she had asked him
something else, completely unexpected.

"Do you toss yourself off every day as well?" she said.

Joseph was so taken aback, he didn't know what to say and just answered
without thinking.

"Not every day," he said.

He couldn't believe he had just admitted to tossing himself off to a girl.
But instead of ridiculing him, as he had expected, she seemed sympathetic
and genuinely interested, and she encouraged him to tell her more about
his most private activity. Soon he found himself telling her all sorts of
things that he had never told anyone before, let alone a girl.

Afterwards, he felt confused but excited. Did this mean that Kerry fancied
him?

What a fool he had been!

The other boys in the class had been similarly accosted and, amazingly,
until now, each had believed falsely that he had been the subject of a
girl's special attention. Like all of the boys, Joseph had been given to
believe that he would receive some confidences from the girl about her own
masturbation in return for details of his, but none of the boys had
actually been given any special details. The girls had been very clever.

And now, in front of everybody, the same girls were drawing a table on the
whiteboard with the name of every boy in the class together with details
of his wanking habits.

"How do you do it?" the girls had asked each of them.

"How many fingers do you use?" "Do you spit on it?" "Do you do it on your
phone?" "Do you have sex with your pillow?" "How much cum do you make?"

All of these questions and more had got answers from the boys, and all of
those answers went on the whiteboard now.

Nicola had the pen, as Bina and Kerry took turns reading out the answers
of every boy in turn: each boy now having to endure the indignity of
having his solo sex life made plain for all to know.

Joseph cursed himself for revealing that he sometimes liked to wear his
mum's knickers while he was tickling his pickle. Or that sometimes in the
mornings before school, when he was anxious, he just couldn't shoot his
roe no matter how hard he primed the pump and had to go to his first
lessons frustrated.

Once Joseph had got over his own shame at having his secrets made public,
he found that it was actually rather interesting to learn about the habits
of all the other boys in his class. He knew what felt good on his own
prick, but had never stopped to wonder whether the same things felt good
to other boys. Perhaps they handled themselves in completely different
ways.

Although he knew the boys in his class very well, having been with them
every day in school for several years, Joseph realised now that he knew
next to nothing about any of their masturbatory practices.

As each boy's statistics were read out, the girl whom he had confided in
demonstrated in the air the motion that the boy made when masturbating,
just as he had shown it to her.

Kerry imitated Joseph's action very well, Joseph thought, right down to
the way he flicked his wrist back and forth as if he were shaking dice in
his hand. Had he really shown her that?

He used all four fingers and his thumb in a fist, but some of the boys'
hand methods were quite different. Andrew, a bubbly boy with a cow's lick
and a broad smile, used only the first two fingers and thumb; while Eoin,
a sullen ginger boy, used three, his first finger and thumb not touching
his meat at all, but pointing out at right angles.

If the girls had the other boys' techniques down as well as they had his,
Joseph reflected, he had a very good idea now of precisely how all of his
classmates flogged their cocks - and they him, of course.

Joseph's was quite a brisk motion and it seemed that, like him, most boys
used a rapid movement to rub the genie out of the bottle. However, a good
minority of others apparently polished the lamp with a slower, more
lugubrious stroke.

One of these was Noel, known by the other boys to be the only one among
them who was circumcised. This boy, whether by coincidence or not, wore
his hair shaved close so that he always had a bald scalp to go with his
bald-headed bishop.

Nicola demonstrated to the class how Noel used his mother's Moisture-Care
Hand Cream to "polish" his knob to start with, before going on to throttle
its turkey neck once he felt himself going over the edge. Nicola informed
them that Noel did this because, as he had told her, "it makes the cum
feel better."

One thing that surprised everybody was Bernard Slothstead's masturbation -
not the way he did it, but that he did it at all!

Bernard was a spotty fat boy with heavy square glasses that made his eyes
seem to bulge. He always spoke slowly and lumbered about tripping over his
own big feet. The other children had always teased him mercilessly and
this predicament had worsened since the onset of his puberty and the
arrival of a noticeable body odour. It had never occurred to any of them
that Bernard might ever have experienced orgasm. But there he was up on
the chart doing it with the rest of them. It just went to show that even
the ugliest, dimmest and least-athletic boys needed to perform a certain
bodily exercise regularly.

Ralph, Nathan and James, the boys who had given the football presentation,
were all friends and hung around together. They were all quite similar in
what they liked to do in school and for hobbies, but it seemed, when it
came to jerking, they were a diverse bunch.

Dark-haired Ralph didn't do it much at all, only about once a week, but he
liked to use a big teddy bear to rub up against when he did do it.

Nathan, a fair-haired pale boy, on the other hand, did it every day in the
shower before school.

This revelation prompted Claire to call to him across the class: "So, when
I sit next to you on the school bus every morning, you've always just
jizzed about five minutes before!"

Nathan blushed beet red and that gave Claire her answer.

James was the last of these three friends to have his private activities
analysed. He was a plump boy with prominent teeth like a mouse. What
interested Joseph most was how James had said he pulled down on his balls
during his wanking because it made the sensitivity of his penis keener.

"I do that, too!" called out another boy, Leo, apparently without
thinking, since he immediately looked mortified. Bina edited Leo's entry
in the table in the light of this new piece of information.

Joseph decided that pulling on his own bollocks was definitely something
he was going to have to try!

Now that the way each boy handled himself had been made public, there was
a palpable sense of relief from the boys in the room since it appeared
that the girls' presentation must be drawing to a close.

As Joseph tried to relax in his hard plastic chair, it occurred to him
just how expert he and his friends were at getting themselves off. Whether
any of them was crap at maths or useless at PE or always came bottom in
English made no difference. Whatever their limitations in other areas,
every boy among them seemed to have a high level of skill when it came to
getting good feelings from his cock and each knew just how best to make it
cum.

This wasn't surprising really, Joseph thought, given the amount of time
they all spent beating off. He took at least ten minutes each go: that was
ten minutes of intense concentration lavished on his penis; sometimes he
might even wank it for as much as half an hour non-stop at the weekend!
And if you added on all the time he spent thinking about doing it, or
planning what he was going to try with it, or fiddling with his erection
in his trousers, or squeezing his legs together while secretly looking at
porn on his phone when he was watching TV with his parents, well, that all
must add up to far longer even than he spent doing his homework every
week!

The girls turned on the projector and put up a bar chart. Evidently, the
boys' ordeal was not, in fact, over just yet.

The chart looming over them at the front of the class showed the boys'
names alphabetically in one column along with a second column indicating
for each boy how many times a week he pulled on himself.

Joseph quickly found his own entry showing six times per week, which he
judged was about right. He was interested to note that his friends, Kevin
and Liam, tugged themselves off about the same amount he did: it was funny
to think that every time Joseph was sitting naked on the bathroom floor,
squeezing one out on to the tiles, or squirting into a dirty sock in his
bed, Kevin and Liam might be at their houses doing exactly the same thing!

But the three of them were only mid-table with their frequency. The
columns of most of the other boys showed that they were much more frequent
wankers.

It was no surprise to see that some of the more sexually advanced members
of the class were varnishing the pole so often: people like Wayne Johnson
who was always making loud sex jokes in class. But the table showed that
little Jimmy Simpkins was right up there with him. Jimmy was the youngest
boy in the class and everybody knew from P.E. that he was still hairless
between his legs. But Jimmy was beating his puppy 21 times a week. Joseph
worked that out to be three times a day! And he came every time,
apparently.

Little Jimmy seemed pleased to see himself at the top of the league table
with a big grown-up boy like Wayne. And Wayne, judging from the way he was
looking at him, seemed to regard Jimmy with new respect following this
amazing revelation. The two of them were like partners in some rather
wicked crime, or like sportsmen unassailable in their similar physical
prowess.

"Way to go, Jimmy!" shouted one of the girls in the audience. She had
meant it to sound sarcastic, but it was possible to detect a note of
admiration, and even lust, in her voice. Indeed, this girl, along with a
number of the others in the class, had felt herself become wet in the
crotch when the boys' stats had begun to be read out.

While the boys sat dreading the next round of ever-more-humiliating
revelations, the girls were edging forward eagerly on their chairs.

Ms Wilmott, who sat uncharacteristically quiet at the back, was enjoying
the proceedings just as much as the females less than half her age.
Although she despised men and had long ago given up hope of finding a male
partner capable of fulfilling her requirements, she was aware that she was
drawn to young boys. She was especially attracted to the smooth-skinned
ones in her swimming classes, with the little nubs of their boycocks
visible though their wet swimming trunks. She had often found it
tantalising to wonder how often these cherubs had their naughty hands down
there. When the girls had come to her with their survey proposal, she had
had a hot flush at the realisation that she was about to find out.

Some of the girls in the audience were getting restless, their fannies
itching now that they knew for certain what they had long suspected,
namely, that the boys in their class touched themselves at least as much
as they did.

The next part of the research from Bina, Nicola and Kerry revealed no
surprises to anyone, although it made some of the boys squirm with shame
more than ever.

Bina changed the slide.

"This graph," she announced, "shows the cumulative frequency of
ejaculation with age for boys in our class."

"What does that mean?" Julia wanted to know.

"Perhaps the girls could explain it," Ms Wilmott suggested.

"It means," Kerry piped up, "that on the x-axis we put ages in months from
the youngest boy to the oldest. Then on the y-axis we put the number who
can cum by that age."

The teacher leaned forward in her chair to scrutinise the chart.

"When you say 'cum', do you mean 'have an orgasm?'" she asked.

The girls nodded.

"But I'm sure all the boys can have orgasms, dear."

The boys nodded vigorously in agreement. They weren't sure they liked
having their arousal abilities discussed over their heads, but they were
at least going to make sure that they weren't being misrepresented.

"No, Miss," Kerry said, exasperated, "We don't mean, like, orgasm only. We
mean, have a sperm squirt, as well."

"Oh, I see," said the female teacher, sitting back once more. "So these
are the numbers of boys at each age who are capable of producing an
ejaculation of semen with their climax."

The girls nodded again.

They all looked up at the graph. It showed a line that curved up, gently
at first, and then much more steeply, before levelling off once again
higher up. This indicated that, although only some of the youngest boys
were making tail jam, the number who could do it increased rapidly with
each increment of age until, once the oldest boys were considered, all
were likely to be making it.

As Joseph gazed at the chart, his cock ached in his trousers at the
thought of all that sperm.

The slide flicked over almost before the class could take it all in.

Nicola took the cue card this time. "And this slide shows the ejaculatory
volume produced by boys at different ages. We weren't able to measure any
of this, of course, so we had to go by what boys told us . . . so it might
be exaggerated."

This was the slide that, more than any other, really humiliated some of
the boys.

By now the girls in the audience had got into the swing of things and
simply called out if they didn't understand something, without asking
permission from their teacher. One girl wanted clarification.

"So you mean, how much a boy spunks up each time?"

"Yeah," said Nicola. "You can see that Justin makes about five big blobs .
. ."

Justin, a usually shy boy, who hid behind his glasses and a long fringe,
looked sheepish, but perhaps just a little proud of himself.

". . . whereas Shawn only gets a small pearl."

Shawn, a boy with big ears and a twitch, looked somewhat less pleased.

". . . and Jimmy doesn't make any at all."

Poor little Jimmy, who had earlier felt so proud of his own
wrist-aerobics, now wanted to be swallowed up by the floor under his desk.

The class looked at him.

"Don't worry, Jimmy," laughed Ms Wilmott, "we won't ask you to demonstrate."

There was a murmuration of tittering from the girls.

Joseph felt sorry for Jimmy, but he also felt quite proud of himself,
since he had been able to give Kerry an exact quantity for his own
ejaculate, having shot it quite recently into his mother's kitchen
measuring jug when she was out in the garden, just to see. He made 5ml.

"We have one more slide, Miss, said Kerry. "But it's not complete because
some of the boys didn't know the answer."

"Oh? How so?"

"It's about how long boys' willies are, Miss."

"Well, put it up," commanded the teacher.

This time all the boys came forward across the desks. Each straining to
see how he compared with his classmates.

A bar chart, this time, showed each boy's name in turn, below a column
indicating the length of his penis in erection.

This was another of his statistics that Joseph knew exactly. When Kerry
had asked him how long his dick was, he had been able to tell her with
confidence, since he had measured it only the Saturday before - something
he did every week or so, to see how it was coming along. He saw that his
own 13.3cm was quite a respectable showing this time - easily in the upper
quartile of the range. Only Ryan, Callum and Tyler had bigger cocks than
him, the latter two being joint-winners with a mansize 18cm penis each.
Two boys tied with Joseph, but everyone else, it seemed was smaller, and
some, quite a bit smaller.

Jimmy didn't have to worry this time, since he wasn't at the bottom of the
table in cock size. His 10cm was quite acceptable given that several of
the boys, in spite of having gonads that were more advanced than his,
nevertheless had maggots in their trousers that were considerably shorter.

The shortest penis was Harvey's. Despite him being rather tubby, and
reasonably tall, his stiff-prick measurement of only 7cm.

The boy second smallest on the chart, whose name was Jarvis, objected.

"That ain't right. I never said that," he called out.

The girls stood by their figure.

"I mean, I got it wrong," he protested.

"What is the correct answer, then," Ms Wilmott demanded.

"Erm . . . twelve centimetres," he blurted out.

There was a general sound of disbelief from the boys.

"No, it ain't," said Lewis, "I've seen it, and it ain't that long!"

"When did you see his hard on?" someone wanted to know, and a squabble
began that Ms Wilmott put down with a sharp lash of her tongue.

Some of the boys, it seemed, were less punctilious than others, or less
curious . . . or less truthful. There were four boys who hadn't given an
answer: four blanks on the bar chart.

"How can you not know?" Rhys asked them.

"Because it's growing so fast!" one of them retorted.

Ms Wilmott had decided it was time to wrap up the lesson, before everybody
got over excited.

"Well, that was a very interesting presentation, girls," she said. "I
particularly admire how it got everybody animated and involved."

This caused some of the girls to snigger, to the irritation of the boys.

Then Ms Wilmott revealed that before she declared the lesson over the less
conscientious boys in the group were to be humiliated even further. She
reckoned to herself that there would be just time to do it before the
school bell rang.

"It is a shame," she said to the girls, "that you couldn't complete your
last table, due to the willful unhelpfulness of some of the boys. I
suggest that all of those boys who do not know the length of their own
penis, should measure it now."

"But I do know, Miss," all of these boys protested immediately.

"It's too late. We do not believe you."

The teacher opened a drawer in one of the wall units and took out four
battered wooden rulers, which she placed on her desk.

"Each of you, come up to the front and collect one of these. You will then
return to your desk and measure yourself."

"What here?" the boys stammered. "In front of everyone!"

"Don't worry. We won't look," Ms Wilmott reassured them. "We ladies are
not interested in your pathetic little pizzles, anyway."

The lascivious looks on some of the girls' faces told otherwise.

Reluctantly, the four boys came up and took a ruler each, before returning
to their seats. There followed the sound of trousers being undone.

"Bina," instructed Ms Wilmott, "open up your spreadsheet file and prepare
to receive the new information with which the boys are about to furnish
us."

The girl did so and the projector screen sprang into life, the cursor
pulsing expectantly in its empty box.

>From where Joseph was sitting he couldn't see the four boys' willies, but
he could see four arms working under the desks to make them as stiff and
long as possible. Every one of the boys was desperate to have a
respectable length to give in front of the girls.

"Billy, have we a result yet?" the teacher demanded.

"Nearly, Miss. It's nearly there."

"Hurry up, boy. Can't you even get it up in a room full of girls? What
sort of boy are you!"

Billy hung his head in shame.

It seemed ironic to Joseph that Billy couldn't get a bonk on, because
Joseph's own member was as hard as fuck, stretching his trouser fabric so
much he had to keep his legs crossed.

"It's 14cm, Miss," Billy announced.

Ms Wilmott squinted at him. "Really?" she said. "Are you measuring along
the top?"

"Yes, Miss."

"I'm not sure we believe you."

"Honest, Miss," he pleaded and held up the ruler with his thumb still
pressed against the mark showing how it had just been held against his
erection.

"No, that won't do. We will have to check," the teacher told him.

"A girl, check him," she instructed. "Jenny, you are nearest. Boy, show
her your penis."

The boy did so, reluctantly, under the desk.

"Yeah, he's right, Miss," said Jenny. "It is 14cms."

"Incredible!" said Miss Wilmott. "Bina, add it to the table."

The next moment, "14cm" appeared beside the pulsing cursor in Billy's box.

Joseph had had to reposition the pole in his trouser tent. The sight of
the girl peering at Billy's stiffy under the table had excited him so.

The same scene was played out with each boy in turn, as a nearby girl was
draughted in to verify his length.

Each time, Joseph's cock ached the more. It sat thick against his belly
and flapped about like a landed fish. He would have to go directly to the
bogs, when the bell went and whack one out quickly into the toilet. At
least it wouldn't take him long.

But when the last boy of the four took his turn, his adjudicator, Chloe,
cautioned that he was not taking his measurement in the correct way.

"He's got the ruler along the bottom, Miss!"

"You silly boy! The bell's about to ring. Here-," the teacher cast around
in desperation, "-Chloe, do it for him, would you!"

The girl put her hands under the table and laid the ruler along the flat
top of the boy's stiff sprat. But at the touch of her fingers the excited
creature started to throb uncontrollably and discharged a flood of its
oyster paste.

"Urrg!" Chloe held her hands out in disgust.  "He just jizzed on me!"

"Oh, you wicked, brazen, devil!" railled Ms Wilmott. "You dirty little
beast!"

"But I couldn't help it, Miss," the boy panted truthfully, as Joseph
watched more jism splatter on to the floor under the boy's desk.

That was too much for Joseph.

As he leapt out of his chair he knew it was already too late.

"I've got to go, Miss!" he croaked.

And, with the school bell ringing in his ears, he fled the room, his cock
pumping out hot spunk into his underpants as he ran.

			***

Readers can email me at:

olhap8464972175@elude.in

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