I love email. If you give me a story line, I'll name a character after you. I really need ideas for fun situations. Get it?
Ruby here. Some people think I am nuts. OK I think I am nuts. I'm about to start a meeting in LA at the house. With Miguell.
Meeting with the heads of the Crips, the Bloods, and MS-13. Vicious rivals almost always at war with each other. Literal war. There were a few lesser gang leaders and it was quite a crew.
All had to come alone. No entourage. No security. All had to come through our scanners. I can't say I felt safe, but it was the best I could do. Then again, I'm pretty powerful.
We were all sitting at a large conference table. Miguell was doing the pitch. It was compelling but each of these people saw it as losing power and position. Miguell was selling and selling hard. We needed them all in for it to work. If we couldn't get there, we would move to a smaller city and build our way up. Miguell was making progress though. While these were all pretty vicious powerful guys, he was focusing on the benefit to their community.
He was very compelling. We didn't think this meeting would result in much progress, but you had to start somewhere.
The head of MS-13 jumped in. I expected him to be the most obstinate.
I was wrong.
"Listen. Our current situation sucks. We are fucking killing each other off for no benefit. We are in gangs because we are marginalized. This is a shot to make a difference in our communities. This is transformative. We need to lead. I will commit but I need all of you on board," he said. He saw me staring and smiled.
"Berkeley," he said with a smile. OK I had underestimated him. My bad.
The group got into a surprisingly spirited conversation. Not about whether they were in or not. About how to make it happen. They had been enemies for a long time and to bring everyone together was going to be a shock. The fact that they were working together at this first meeting set me back a bit. As I got to know them I realized they were closer to the reality of Miguell than the stereotype we all viewed. They treated the gang as their family because it is their family. Every single one was well aware of what had been accomplished in Tampa.
"What's going on in Tampa is cool," said the leader of the Crips. "But that's pocket change compared to LA. You can't have access to that kind of money."
"I can and do," I said. "But it doesn't matter. We kick start it, but it is quickly self-sustaining. We have restored the fund through real estate. The people that are living in the houses are fixing them. If they flip one, we fund the next one and they get 75% of the profit. The rest we keep investing. We also offer them the opportunity to buy the house at the price we paid and offer the mortgage ourselves. We've flipped over a hundred houses and over 300 families have purchased their home."
"Dude, I live in a nice house I'm restoring," said Miguell.
"Real estate is brutal here. Even crap," said the head of the Crips.
I smiled. He smiled too. A Ruby smile will do that.
"We are prepared to make an initial purchase of two thousand homes and two hundred apartment complexes," said Miguell. They all just stared.
"What kind of capital are you playing with here," said the MS-13 guy.
"We are starting with $25 billion," I said. "As I said, we will be able to pull that out faster than you think and apply it to the next city."
"That's great, it really is but there are over a hundred thousand gang members," said the Crips leader. "You're promising jobs to that many?"
"Sure. Remember some of those jobs are renovating the houses in which they live. We have more jobs than people. Dionysus is constrained by people," I said. "We realize that many houses is a tiny start, but you have to start somewhere. It takes time to even buy them. That is a project for this group. Search for housing. Make recommendations. Once things settle in you'll be able to approve purchases yourselves. That will only take a few weeks. The faster you buy and get families in them the better we will do."
"I can attest to that. Once we got rolling, we were buying and renovating houses at an incredible pace. The program houses over 25,000 people in Tampa already. I will commit to being here regularly to help coach you through it. Once we have a successful program we will be asking each of you to sponsor a new city."
Every one of them was nodding. They were up for it.
"You mentioned schooling. We have thousands that need their GED and some that could benefit from college. Even our elementary schools suck. How do we fix that?" said the Bloods leader.
"We have thought of that. If you look at the concentration of membership it is pretty contiguous. If you can work together we can do a good job with the schools," I said. I passed out a handout of the areas on which we would focus. It is a huge area.
"We have a meeting tomorrow with the school district. We are going to propose taking over all the schools within these boundaries. Are you familiar with our schools?" I asked. Given their looks I would call that a yes.
"That is dozens of schools," said the Latin Kings guy. "I know something about your schools too. I can't imagine they'll agree."
"We will see. We've offered to cover the costs for all the schools. Money talks. We would rebuild every school. Our teachers also make significantly more money," I said. "Our schools are fun. The perks are better. If we can make a deal. Our Minister of Education and I have an appointment with the Superintendent tomorrow." Yeah, they knew what I meant by perks. I'm pretty sure they're all picturing Pari. Probably naked. A few of those pics got out into the wild. Tiny tangent. Pari got called out on the Daily Show. By Trevor. You know. I'll let her tell that story.
"You were confident weren't you," said the MS-13 guy. I'm not using names for a reason. I shouldn't have with Miguell but we're past that. I did give him a smile. Unless I have permission. We'll get there. These guys are going to be heroes.
"You don't lose often do you Ruby?" said the head of the Crips. How do I answer that? He just got a smile too. Sometimes it is hard not to laugh. I'm freaking 13.
"OK I think we are all in. Between us we can control the smaller gangs. Miguell can you stay out here for a while now?" said the Latin Kings boss.
Miguell just nodded. He could stay at our place and yes we all trusted him that much. I'm sure you're expecting some kind of celebration of success, but they all slipped out into the night. Miguell and I had a quiet night with Santiago and Tai. Yes, I'd made that leap with Miguell. I'm glad I did too. I'm pretty sure he is too.
Tomas is cool with it too. You see, he wasn't at the meeting. I didn't say he wasn't in LA. He was out touring his stores in SoCal. Santiago, Tai, Miguell, Tomas, and me. If you can imagine it, we did it. If you can't imagine it, we still did it. We might be more advanced that you are.
Pari here. This is interesting to us. Taking over schools in an existing school system in the US. It wasn't small either. Six high schools, 19 middle schools, and 74 elementary schools.
Ninety-nine new schools. Oh my.
Ruby was going with me. The head of MS-13 was going with us. That would confuse them for sure. We actually had a fun morning. I'd sent his picture and sizes to Timmy last night. Mia arrived early with his new suit. She didn't even need to do anything. It fit perfectly. Mia brought him a weathered messenger bag. It was awesome. If you didn't know better you would think he was a young attorney. Did I mention the hair stylist?
He did look good.
He also has a nice laugh. We headed to our meeting in a nice S63 convertible. We are not fans of traffic, so we avoided it. He laughed the entire way there. We landed down the street and pulled into the guest lot. We checked in at reception and got visitor badges. Edwin. His real name is Edwin. Cool. Yes, I have permission to use it. I asked first.
We were escorted into a conference room to meet with the Superintendent. To our surprise the mayor was there as well. He got a panicked look on his face and lunged for a phone. Poorly. He ended up face planting on the carpet. Edwin went over and held out his hand to help him up.
I wish I'd had taken a picture. Edwin is just smiling.
"Edwin is with us," I said. "He is an integral team member for our proposal."
"Are you fucking nuts?" asked the mayor.
"Sure," said Ruby. "But we get shit done. Seriously he is not a threat." The Superintendent had no clue until Edwin explained his day job. Gang leader.
"We have an unorthodox proposal for you," I said. I pulled out a list of the schools and handed it out.
"We would like to acquire these schools from you under your charter school program. We will pay fair market value for the facilities. We would then establish them as schools in the Dionysus school system. The same students would be eligible, and the school assignments would be based on the existing boundaries. However, they would be our schools so we would have total control on everything. Everything. That includes the curriculum, hiring, certification, and more. Total control. Based on our real estate analysis we value the schools at $325 million and we think that is generous. We would not require any tax money so you could divert that to other schools. Should the program be the success we believe it will be, we can discuss expanding the scope."
"Expanding?" said the Mayor. "This list is already 99 schools."
The superintendent had a sheet in his hand.
"A quick scan says they're all in our bottom 125 schools too," he said. I asked to see the sheet. The schools were mapped and all 125 were contiguous to the schools we had chosen. I handed it back.
"We will take all 125," I said. "We will adjust our bid accordingly. We would offer jobs to all already employed but we have no tolerance for anything but the best so hiring and firing is ours too. Total control." I know I was repeating that last phrase, but it is important.
"Could we have a moment?" said the Mayor.
We stepped out for just a few minutes and they called us back in.
"We are clearly interested but we have to be blunt about your involvement," said the mayor to Edwin.
Edwin spent the next 20 minutes flawlessly outlining, with passion, the program we were implementing. He cautioned them it would not be announced until they agreed on the schools and asked for their confidentiality.
"Oh. I should mention that some families will be uncomfortable with our schools. We will arrange buses for those students back into your program," I said. They understood which made me believe they understood.
"We need to take this to the city council and the school board. It needs public commentary too," said the Superintendent. We understood that. By the end of the meeting I had a text for the revised offer. Some that we added were actually good schools at least in facilities. A little over a half billion.
Chump change.
Pari again and I'm on my way to a press conference in LA. It was an eclectic group. All the gang leaders. The mayor. The Superintendent of schools.
Ruby and me.
Ruby was announcing the broader program with Edwin and I was announcing the school changes.
I guess the speaker list was interesting because it was well attended. As in overflowing. All the major networks. Somehow Rachel Maddow was in the front row.
Sure.
Ruby actually didn't speak. She let Edwin and Miguell lead and then each local gang leader stood and pledged their support. It was awesome.
Then it was my turn and I announced the schools.
Between the two, not much else got reported on tonight. Rachel approached Ruby and me about being on tonight's show.
Ruby suggested Edwin and Miguell would be a better show. We promised to come on after the schools were online.
They were awesome. After the show too. We did it from our house. No, Rachel didn't strip and join in, interesting as that would be. Just the six of us.
I like Edwin.
Pari here again with Alice. What in the heck have we done? We bought 125 schools. Over 150,000 students. Over 20,000 employees including teachers. We're going to have to figure out what to do with some of the administration people. We never ever need that many.
So, what do you do when you want to meet with them all? You rent Staples center, of course. We did have to put a lot of chairs on the floor. It was more people than Staples usually holds. We set up an account with JetsonCar to bring everyone in at our cost. The only thing we had not figured out was a leader. We needed someone that understood to be in charge. Magda came to the rescue. She gave us a list of people in our new school system that would be a cultural fit. We would setup appointments tomorrow. Right now, I needed to be on stage. I walked out and people settled down pretty quickly. I have a lav mic so I could walk around. I did have one slide. Ack!
OK it was a slide comparing the old salaries and the new. It was going to be a very popular slide. Here goes. Ten thousand teachers alone. Shit.
"Good morning," I said. You could tell they were teachers because they all faithfully said "Good morning" back to me.
"My name is Pari. If you follow educational journals, you may know I am the Minister of Education for the country of Dionysus," I said. I had to wait a bit because I got a rousing standing ovation. This was a defining moment because I was going to lay it all out there for this large group, some of whom wouldn't agree with our teaching styles.
I laid everything out about how the testing worked, the impact on the students, the fact that all the schools would be converted to all grade levels. I shared that some smaller schools might close but that we believed in smaller classes so we would be adding another 4,000 or more teachers. I mentioned our recruiting program which paid them $5,000 for their recommendation when that person reached their six month anniversary. We like to hire the known. I talked about how we would have a nurse and psychologist in every school. I talked about mandatory birth control for boys and girls. That might be controversial.
I went through everything. Everything. I also offered anyone that objected to our new program a buyout. I didn't expect any takers because that's when I popped up their old and new salaries. The starting salary was currently $57k and the average was $76k. High for most districts in the country but LA is seriously expensive. We shifted the starting salary to $150k which would result in an average at right around $200k. I did discuss that we expected success and would be ensuring continuing education.
My biggest cheer was when I shared we did no standardized testing. No teaching to the test.
I used myself as an example.
"I am 11 years old. I recently received my doctorate in school administration. I am typical in our environment," I said.
"Expect a lot and you get a lot," I said. "It is a lot to absorb. We can make it work together." I did share that we were interviewing for a number of senior positions including superintendent. I expected and encouraged multiple applications.
It was a short presentation. I opened it up to questions.
Questions took a while. I thought they went well. I'll share a few.
A woman in her thirties, I think, asked the first question. She introduced herself as a teacher at one of our high schools.
"This is all well and good and I won't turn down the money but our facilities stink. They are falling apart, and rat infested," she said. "Do you have any plans?"
"What an outstanding question. I meant to cover this. My bad," I said. "It isn't exactly linear because some schools need more than others. We have 125 schools in our system. We have committed to an average of $44 million per school. A new elementary school costs about $16 million. A new middle school coats about $26 million. A new high school costs about $45 million. At $44 million per school we can do a lot."
"That's over $5 billion," she said. "You'll do that for these kids? The run rate has to be about that annually."
"Especially for these kids. This is life changing for them. This is our pilot. We will roll it out more broadly," I said. I asked for the next question. The next few were simple.
I finally got to one that had some controversy.
"Let me just lay this on the line," asked a woman. A remarkably gorgeous woman. Early in her career. Maybe mid-twenties. "We have heard the rumors and you've been pretty clear, but I am going to say it back to you as bluntly as I can. I don't want any confusion here. I'm not taking sides and I don't judge. I just want to know."
I just nodded and waited.
"We've heard rumors of what are called wrestling rooms but are actually public sex rooms. Adults and kids. Faculty and students. Parents. Everyone. We know the age rules," she said. "Is it true? Sex rooms, the whole thing." I smiled at her and by instinct she smiled back.
"Yes, all true," I said. "At one of our first schools I let a student fuck me on stage to make the point. Heck, I'd do it right here, right now, but I think you get the idea."
Have you ever heard 20,000 people moan at the same time? I have. It might have been because I chose that moment to drop my sundress to make by point. Right as I said, "I think you get the idea."
"Let me answer it in a different way. I'm a product of our school system. I started when I was 9 years old. I was in the 4th grade which is typical for a 9-year-old. Now I am the elected Minister of Education. I have two bachelor’s degrees. I have a Masters. I am about to finish my second doctorate.
"While I am the Minister leading the most sophisticated school system in the world," I said. "It works."
Another standing ovation.
The woman who asked the question walked out to the aisle and headed towards the stage. Oh hell, we were all just waiting to see what happened. I was still naked. Security wasn't stupid. They let her through. She walked right up to me and dropped her sundress. I don't know how many moaned, but I did, and I was pretty focused. She walked right up to me and leaned down and kissed me. It was quite a kiss and while she did, she rubbed, then tweaked, my nipple. Then her hand slid down and she actually slid a finger in me.
My turn. I gently pushed her down onto the stage. No yoga mat. I didn't plan on this, but we'd deal. I laid right on top of her and started kissing her. I lifted up a little and started duplicating her moves. She did the same. We were pumping in and out of each other pretty hard. I pulled out my finger and pushed my pussy against hers, trapping her hand with her finger still in me. I ground hard against her which meant she was rubbing us both.
Then we exploded in an orgasm. While we are literally lying there cumming, the audience gave us a standing ovation.
We finally stood up and bowed after backing up a step from the freaking puddle we had left on the stage. Oops.
Still naked.
A hand went up in the front. Right at the front. That's when I stepped out from the lights and the first time I realized that the schools all brought their top 2 students.
Front row seats to the show.
I nodded to the girl that raised her hand.
"Would you teach me that?" she said. Damn she is adorable too. Each child was sitting with a parent, but she had another kid with her.
Got it. The top two kids in their school were boy/girl twins.
"How old are you both?" I said. They both just smiled. They were with their dad, who was seriously tenting out his pants. Which is understandable. I'm still naked.
"We're 8 years old," said the boy. "I'd like to learn things too." That actually got a short round of applause. I'd temporarily designated the entire Staples Center a consulate, just in case.
"Do I have your permission for them both? Are you their dad?" I asked. First, he moaned.
"Yes, and yes," he said, or more accurately croaked.
I waved the kids onto the stage and as soon as they were there, they stripped. More applause. I walked back to the dad.
"You can't touch them, but you can me. Would you like to join us?" I asked. He ran onto the stage. I think he was unsure, so I undressed him. I think the entire place held their breath until his cock popped out and slapped me in the face. I'd positioned myself for it on purpose and it got the expected big laugh, immediately followed by a moan, when I deepthroated him. Only a couple times though because I called the kids over. I had the boy stand next to his dad and I taught her how to blow her brother. Smart girl. She went along and tried to hide the fact that she knew quite well how to do it.
"Turn on your knees," I said, to her. We both did. I wiggled my butt and she laughed and did too. They might have given themselves away a bit, because the little boy slid his cock right in.
Then his dad slid into me. I didn't mention the 9-inch (23 cm) thick uncut cock yet. Well, it's inside me.
The little boy got off first, which sent his sister over, which sent me over. Then I could feel him swell and pulled off and turned around and took a load on my face and tits, which trickled down to my still wet pussy.
The kids pushed me on my back and gave a textbook exam on cleanup.
I got every drop of cum.
Finally, we stood up, all four dripping a little, to the most raucous standing ovation I'd ever heard.
We all bowed, and I led all four of them offstage. I sent them to shower and then I went back onstage, still sticky, with cum in my hair.
The rest of the questions were innocuous. Some did want to know about the rules a little more and I added some depth. It took a while for everyone to leave and I shook a lot of hands. Early on people figured out that if they were really vigorous in shaking my hand, my little puffies would bounce.
OK, we all enjoyed that.
Finally, I went backstage and found the family that, um, enjoyed themselves plus my new teacher friend. The dad is Joaquin and he's a teacher at the same high school where Thiago and Antonella go to school. Kay is from Lansing, Michigan and is as pasty white as you can be. She also has amazing auburn hair, which is natural, unless she colors the little remaining patch too. Who cares? She's stunning, with a nice figure and uplifted C cups. She's about 5'6". Joaquin is about 5'10", stocky but not fat, with the aforementioned wonderful cock. Thiago and Antonella are small, at about 3'8", with no real development, although Thiago has a thicker 4-inch (10 cm) cock and some skills that he did a bad job hiding.
"I'm going to scrounge up some lunch," I said. "Why don't the four of you come with me?"
"We need to get back to school," said Thiago.
"We are supposed to be back by the 11:40 bell," said Antonella. I love these kids. A feeling of responsibility about school.
"Well, I promise that it will be OK if all four of you join me," I said. "I'm kind of in charge of all the schools."
"Point taken," said Antonella. Then she kissed me. Quite well I might add. It was tempting to let them all strip, but we had places to be.
"I'm going to take a quick shower," I said. "Then we can go. Anybody that wants to watch is welcome to come with me."
I just threw the line out there for the hell of it, but all four faithfully followed me into the locker room and stood just outside the shower door watching. I hammed it up and bit but was still pretty quick. You know. Plenty of time soaping up the puffies. Bending over a lot so they had an open shot of my pussy and ass. Stupid Cinemax movie quality stuff.
I think they liked it. I quickly dried off and pulled on shorts and a t-shirt and a pair of Allbirds and I was ready to go. I pulled my hair into a ponytail as we walked and pulled on my Indiana Pacers hat.
"You're seriously going to wear that hat in LA?" said Thiago. "So, you're one of those new fans now that they're seriously good?"
"I guess I am," I said. I saw Antonella whisper something in his ear and his eyebrows shot up.
"You own the Pacers," said Thiago.
"I did," I said. "But I gave it to a friend that lives in Indianapolis. She gets to go to all the games. I'm a little jealous, but I go to as many as I can." Just then we went around the corner to where my E-82 was parked. Hey, I woke up in Clearwater this morning. Gotta take the plane. I gave all four credit. They had looks on their faces, but they got on board without question. Mine has the open cabin design, which means that there isn't a wall behind the cockpit. More of a small plane feel. We all strapped in, and I turned to look at them.
"Three choices. 208 Rodeo, which is excellent California food. Or we could go to Madeo for top-notch Italian. The third option is the restaurant in HT. Today happens to be Southern down home cooking, which is a favorite of mine, but honestly I love them all," I said. "My treat, of course."
"Madeo feels a little heavy for lunch, although I understand it is outstanding," said Antonella. "208 Rodeo would be good, but the food at HT is supposed to be better and Southern is the most popular day. My bigger question is how would we ever get a table for 5 at any of them on short notice? They're all super-hot."
"How do you know all that?" asked Joaquin. Antonella laughed.
"A girl can dream," she said, to laughter.
"I think you just chose HT," I said.
"Wait," said Joaquin and Kay together. I heard her say it under her breath. I just looked at her and waited. So did Antonella and Thiago.
She went for it. Leaned in for the big kiss. Lots of passion. Lots of tongue. She was rubbing his cock and he had his hand up her skirt. She went off, hard. He actually took her hand away from his cock.
"Let's not make a mess right now," he said. Kay did not appear to take that answer well, because she dropped to her knees and unzipped his pants. Commando, how handy. Hopeful or just out of underwear?
I don't know, but Kay has skills. Swallowed him up whole. Then she pushed him back onto the floor, lifted her dress, and slammed down on his cock.
Well that escalated quickly.
They finished by the time we got to HT. Of course, Kay is squish, squish.
"You can clean it out after lunch," she said. To me. Well sure.
We walked into HT and everyone yelled my name. They would have done it at any of the three. A girl needs her IPA. We walked over to the family table, which is pretty big and there were still five seats.
It is a 12 seat table.
"Why are there 5 empty seats?" asked Antonella.
"Because there are five of you," said Hunter. The other seven are Hunter, Hallie, Leslie, Ruby, Bob, Jessica, and Colby.
Antonella pointed at the bottle in front of Jessica.
"Is that as good as the buzz? she asked. Jessica just picked up the bottle and held it out. Antonella walked around and took a big swig.
"Damn," she said. "That's wonderful. Sorry, you need a new bottle." The waitress walked up, and Jessica held up two fingers and pointed at the bottle.
"I'm not flying today," said Jessica. Well no, not if she's having another IPA. She can't weigh 20 kilos.
We did the introductions and sat down, just as the waitress put the bottle in front of Antonella and another in front of Jessica. Joaquin picked up Jessica’s since he was next to her.
"Hold up," he said. "This is real beer. You can't have this."
I don't think our laughing helped.
"Dad," said Antonella, in the classic whine of a frustrated teen. Yeah, yeah, she's 8.
"The almost naked waitress didn't get a reaction. The waiter standing to your right whose cock is about 8 inches from your mouth doesn't get a reaction," said Antonella. "My quite legally having one beer, and an outstanding one at that, is what got your reaction? Do you even remember what happened this morning?"
All valid points. Before he could answer, I turned to the waiter. I had to turn around and then I snorted. He gave me a big smile and held his pen ready. I waved him over and stroked his cock a few times, to his laughter and everyone else's surprise.
"Pass someone that pen and pull up a damn chair," I said. He laughed and set down the pad and picked me up like I was a freaking feather. He sat me back down on his lap.
His cock is fully exposed and held by a few strings. I'm commando and my pussy is resting on said cock. I couldn't resist. I shouldn't, just like I shouldn't have stroked his cock. I stood, just a bit, straddling him, and reached under my skirt. I pulled his cock straight up, which was hidden by my skirt.
And then I sat back down.
Well at least I won't fall off his lap. Did I mention that sometimes Tomas likes to be a waiter? He says that it helps him understand the clientele. He's hilarious. He gets asked all the time if he is Tomas and his response is always the same.
"Thank you for the compliment," he would say. With a smile. He doesn't lie. He just doesn't answer the question.
Just then the waitress came back with two other people helping carry the food. She started putting down the plates.
"We didn't order," said Kay.
"We never do," said Hunter. "They know what we want."
"But we've never been here," said Kay.
"Southern cooking. What would you have ordered?" said Hunter. Kay thought for a minutes.
"Well, if I had made it, it would have been meatloaf, and the recipe would have included a cup of salsa. The side would be mashed potatoes with cheese, chives, and bacon, with a few black olives sliced and stirred in. The other side would be a medley of carrots, asparagus, and grilled Brussel sprouts," said Kay.
As she finished, a waiter put a plate in front of her.
With exactly what she just described.
She looked at Hunter.
"The vegetables are in a garlic and bacon cream sauce, with just a hint of nutmeg," she said. "Who puts nutmeg in vegetables?"
Hunter waited her out.
"I do," she said. By then everyone had their food. Joaquin and Thiago both got meals that they had never had before.
Do you think they liked them?
I think they both were pretty close to cumming.
But I learned so much, hearing it from two students and two teachers. We had a shit ton to do. We finally hopped in the plane and I took them back to school. I walked in with them and into the office and there were two police officers, in full swat gear. They saw us and immediately came over.
"We have arrest warrants," said the guy cop. He rattled off Kay and Joaquin's full names.
"What are the charges?" I asked.
"Go away little girl," said the guy cop.
"It is time for you to leave the property," I said. "You left the United States when you crossed the street. You're in the country of Dionysus without permission. We consider it an invasion by a sovereign power. You have 30 seconds to exit the property or you will be arrested."
Just then Ruby walked in the front door. Ruby looks so unassuming, but she can kick your ass.
But that's not why she is here. I turned to her.
"Take Kay and Joaquin up," I said. "Go ahead and take the kids too." Ruby just nodded. She waved for them to follow her and they looked at me and I nodded.
"You can't do that!" shouted the woman cop. Who pulled her gun. Then he did too.
That was a bad idea. Suddenly both of their arms bent uncomfortably and then pointed down. Their guns were pointed at their own feet and they were fighting it really hard.
"Bang," I said, which made them both jump. This was silly. Their guns were wrenched from their hands and floated over to me. I quickly removed the clips and set the guns and clips on the table.
The woman cop went for her ankle holster. I am now holding that gun and the other cop’s ankle gun. I didn't trust them, so they flipped upside down and were dangling in the air. I shook them like I was holding on to their ankle. Which I really am. Just not literally.
Lots of stuff fell out. I dropped them, none too gently and Ruby moved in and put on zip cuffs.
"Take them with you," I said, to Ruby.
I'm pissed.
Which is why five minutes later I was holding a press conference, via video call.
"The Kingdom of Dionysus was invaded today by two officers of the LAPD. We consider this an invasion by the United States and demand an apology by all involved. No laws were broken and those that authorized this invasion are well aware of that fact," I said. "We have taken the two officers in custody and will be investigating the source of the invasion. We anticipate additional arrests. I will not be taking any questions. Thank you."
Hey. They pissed me off.
I thought about having a picture of the two officers, but Ruby and I had a slight miscommunication. I meant take them up to the prison.
She took them to Gamma. She has a valid point that they didn't know any better. She did say they were having a great time.
I'll bet. There's some irony there, given I'd bet they'd had a lot of what they consider to be underage sex.
We're all good fucks.
I got an alert. The US attorney in LA was holding a press conference. Then I got a text from Ruby.
On it
I pulled up the press conference video and watched. He spouted off about laws bring broken and child molesters and a lot of really nasty stuff. All with the little cross pin on his lapel.
Fucking hypocrite.
Then Ruby walked into the picture. No one even tried to slow her down. I think I'll pass the pen.
We're powerful young women and men. Just don't. We will punish you. I walked into the Federal building and cut the line and walked through the metal detector. It went off and I just kept going. There was a lot of screaming at me, but nobody moved.
Oh, they were trying, for sure. One of the things they said was that the elevators automatically shut off. How handy of them to tell me. I'd already gotten the information that the meeting was on the third floor. I walked over to the stairwell, which is locked.
Like that slowed me down. The door is now laying on the ground. I stepped over it and ran up the stairs. I walked into the briefing room and dozens of people lunged at me.
Those face plants had to hurt. I walked up to the US Attorney and spun him around and zip cuffed him. He was screaming bloody murder. Fuck him. No, not literally.
You really shouldn't piss me off.
I marched him out of there. You'd think he'd be fighting me, but no, he was marching out. Literally marching. Like in a marching band. Get those knees in the air!
That video is going to go viral. I took him up and since I'd already made the mistake, I took him to the space station, not the prison. It's not like he had any better chance of getting home from there. I came back and landed at the house and Nylah was waiting for me.
"You've been summoned to court," said Nylah. "Your choice whether you go. I'll represent Dionysus. Pari is coming." OK, then we both laughed because she would be later.
"Like I'd stay away," I said. "No offense, but are you the best choice? Not that I am doubting your skills. Just the optics."
"I haven't been to LA in months. There is a reason I felt like I needed to be here today," said Nylah.
"OK," I said. She's right. If she's here, and feels like she needs to be here, this is why.
We flew to the courthouse in a nice little SUV. Nylah was driving. That can't surprise you. Just us three girls. Nylah, Pari, and me. We walked in and this time I didn't set off the detector. I'd left everything that would trigger it at home. Yeah, the same building. We got to the courtroom and walked in. We tried to sit in the back, since another case was being heard, but the judge saw us. He called a recess in this case and waved us forward.
"We're opposed by the Assistant US Attorney. You know, since we have her boss in custody," said Nylah, to me.
"Where is your attorney?" said the judge, I guess to all of us.
"That would be me, your honor," said Nylah. "I am Princess Nylah. I'm licensed in California."
"You are?" said the judge. "Some kind of online school? This can't be real."
"Harvard, your honor," said Nylah. "I have both my transcripts and my boards test reports if you would like to review them. I tend to anticipate this question." He nodded and Nylah handed a thick folder to the bailiff. She took it to the judge, who reviewed it. Finally, he held up a piece of paper.
"All 50 states and 14 countries?" he said. "I do appreciate the summary."
He pulled out one more sheet.
"You graduated Harvard without missing a single point. On anything. A straight 100%. You did the full three-year curriculum in four months," said the judge. OK, that's impressive as fuck.
Nylah looked confused.
"Yes, your honor," said Nylah. "I wasn't sure if that was a question." The judge shook his head.
"Let's go. The state's attorney alleges that you have taken two police officers and the US Attorney into custody," said the judge. He doesn't ask questions well.
"Yes, your honor," said Nylah. "We have. The police officers entered a Dionysus consulate, armed, and refused to leave when asked."
"My understand is that the incident occurred at a local elementary school," said the judge.
"It did your honor, but the school is owned and operated by the kingdom," said Nylah. "Pari owns the school along with 124 other local schools."
"And who would Pari be?" asked the judge. Pari faithfully raised her hand.
"Of course," said the judge. "And what would your role be?", looking at me. I looked Nylah. She nodded.
"Just helping out, your honor," I said. "I took both groups up."
"Up?" said the judge.
"Yes, your honor," I said. "Into space. That's where we're holding them."
"You took them to your prison? I understand it is pretty rough," said the judge.
"There was a bit of miscommunication," I said. "I took them to our space station." I think the judge just moaned.
"To your space resort," said the judge. "You have them locked up on your space station."
"Not exactly," I said. "They have complete access to the station and their own apartment. We're not that worried about them escaping."
"Well, you have a point," said the judge. "Wait, full access to your resort?"
"Yes, your honor," I said. I know that face. Surely the judge didn't just. No. Just no.
"And why the US Attorney?" asked the judge.
"He directed the LAPD to violate our territory, your honor," said Nylah. "Knowing full well that it is an established consulate."
"So, your position is that property that you own in the US can be designated a consulate, including an entire school," said the judge.
"Yes, your honor," said Nylah. "There is considerable precedent." Nylah rattled off several case examples. but the judge reacted to one of them.
"This happened this morning. You have case references already?" asked the judge. Nylah smiled.
"We expected a case eventually," said Nylah.
"I understand that this case began at Staples Center," said the judge. "Do you own that?"
"No, your honor," said Nylah. "However, at the time, the entire complex was under our lease."
"I have case summaries if that would be of assistance," said Nylah. He waved the bailiff over and Nylah handed a folder to her.
The judge started reading and then turned to us.
"Sit down," he said. "This will take a minute." We sat down and I started to say something, but Nylah shook her head no. It is hard for me to stay quiet. It is.
Suddenly the judge started laughing and looked up.
"You wrote a sample ruling for me," said the judge.
"Just trying to be helpful, your honor," said Nylah. The judge looked at her and smiled and then read what she wrote. Finally, he looked up.
"This is really broad," said the judge. "You're basically saying that any property owned or leased by a resident of the kingdom can, at your council's decision, be designated a consulate and would be therefore under your laws. You are using that, in particular, at your schools. That's extreme."
"In what way, your honor?" said Nylah.
"It is pretty well known what happens at your schools," said the judge.
"Yes, your honor," said Nylah. "Our students do very well academically and work at an extremely accelerated pace. I believe the three of us are excellent examples of how successful our programs are."
"Well played, counselor," said the judge. "But you know that's not what I meant."
"I may be confused, your honor," said Nylah. "You asked about our schools and the results are quite spectacular. I'm 6 and an attorney. My younger brother is an MD and the Chief Medical Officer at Harvard."
"Your younger brother," said the judge.
"Yes, Bill is 4," said Nylah.
"You're wonderfully passive-aggressive," said the judge.
"Thank you, I guess," said Nylah.
"So, my two choices are pretty disparate," said the judge. "If I rule against you, thousands of kids in the US lose access to your school system, including a number in underprivileged areas, including 125 schools here in LA. Do I have that right?"
"Yes, your honor," said Nylah.
"You would close your schools," said the judge.
"We would have no choice, your honor," said Nylah. "It is literally impossible to run our schools in the US under your laws. That would be a disappointing outcome."
"And if I rule in your favor, large swaths of the US could potentially come under your laws," said the judge.
"May I speak freely, your honor?" said Nylah. The judge nodded.
"I guess I don't see how that is a bad outcome. As you said, we have thousands of kids in our schools here in the US. They're doing amazing things. We provide everything, at no cost, including the boarding schools. We are replacing every single school we bought, at our expense. We're graduating 10-year-old doctors and 6-year-old lawyers. Major US companies are being run by people that are under 18. We employ literally millions of people in the US and we pay really well. Really well. The pay for teachers in our system tripled. All of our employees have 100% of their healthcare paid for and it extends to a broad definition of their family," said Nylah. "Like it or not, our approach works and we're good world citizens. You know all this. I have provided you with a well-defined precedent to allow all of that to continue to happen. If you rule against us, which is your right, there will be repercussions that reverberate across your economy. That's not a threat, just a fact. We will adapt to your ruling. One ruling would be favorable for everyone. The other would not."
"You have me backed into a corner, don't you?" said the judge.
"I recognize it feels that way but let me give you an example. Some people have joined us in the gallery that, with your permission, I would like to introduce themselves," said Nylah.
That's when Edwin and the other gang leaders introduced themselves. The judge was shocked.
"How is this relevant?" asked the judge.
"I'll let Ruby explain the program," said Nylah. So, I did.
"You're investing $25 billion dollars in inner city LA," said the judge. "What are you expecting in return?"
"A better place for everyone, your honor," I said. "We don't expect anything back. Should the program succeed, which we know it will, these gentlemen will each be sponsoring a city and reproducing the program. Again, at our expense. I was born and raised in the US. Nylah was born here too. We're both dual citizens. The US matters to us. We want to help, particularly those less fortunate, like I used to be. We're trying hard here and either the country can support that, or they can't."
The judge directed his next question to the three men.
"So, MS-13, the Crips, and the Bloods are working together," said the judge.
"Yes, your honor," said Edwin. "This is an opportunity that is bigger than any of us or our groups. We'll work together to make this happen and Ruby is right. Then we'll help in another city and it will continue to spread."
The judge just sat there for a minute.
"$25 billion," said the judge. "And if I rule against you, that evaporates."
"No, your honor," said Nylah. "That program is not dependent on the schools. That will continue. Pardon my language, but if you rule against us, you'll just be screwing the kids."
Just then the courtroom door opened, and the two police officers walked in.
"You brought the police officers back," he said.
"Yes, your honor," said Nylah. "They were doing their jobs."
"But not the US attorney," said the judge.
"Well, he didn't want to come back yet," said Nylah, which led to the entire courtroom laughing, none more than the judge.
"Well shit," said the judge, which the court reporter faithfully transcribed, with a smile on her face.
"Here's the weird thing," said the judge. "Your arguments are strong. They're well thought out and have excellent precedents. I can easily rule your way, but the firestorm will be huge."
"No offense, your honor, but I would bet damn near anything that you're wrong on that one," said Nylah. "The US took a huge reputational hit and we all know why. It is going to take a long time to recover from that. What we're offering helps kids. It helps families. It sure isn't hurting anyone."
"Are you sexually active counselor?" asked the judge.
"That is not a question that would ever be asked in our country," said Nylah. "It's just not a question anyone has the right to ask."
"But I can require you to answer it," said the judge.
"You can, but why?" asked Nylah. "How is it meaningful to your decision? I'm an attorney. I'm 6. What we're doing is working. So yes, you can require me to answer it, and I will, but why?"
"Permission to approach the bench?" asked Nylah. The judge just nodded. Nylah walked up and after a moment, they both laughed out loud and he waved her back.
"The state should be able to hear all the evidence," said the assistant US attorney.
The judge looked at Nylah and she laughed.
"I told him that I fuck like a rabbit and am pretty damn good at it," said Nylah.
Which the court reporter faithfully typed into the record. Every person in the courtroom was imagining that.
Then the judge ruled in our favor just as the door opened and in came the US attorney.
Damn, he looks worn out.
He walked up.
"Excuse me your honor," said the US Attorney. "We would like to withdraw our petition."
"Too late," said the judge. "I already ruled." His attorney whispered something, which resulted in a huge grin.
"Who was on the station?" said Nylah, of me.
"Sophia, Morgan, and Orlando," I said.
That's when the three of us started laughing, which got a gavel from the judge.
"Apologies, your honor," said Nylah.
"You're doing good in the world," said the judge. "Keep it up. We're done."
Nylah walked up to the judge and said something else. Somehow they're walking out now, and Nylah is holding his gavel.
I have no clue why. It is a cool gavel.
Morgan and me. This is Sophia. I guess this is a historical story now that Chris is not President anymore. No, not related to the last story, although that was fun. Nice guy, once he was disabused of his silly beliefs.
Back to DC.
We kind of hated it. We all kind of hated it. If you invented a world that was the polar opposite of Dionysus, it would be DC. It's one of the rings of Hell.
Are you getting I didn't like it! Heck, I didn't like it second hand. Chris, Ruby, Morgan, and Hunter had to go to work every day and deal with all that shit.
I tried to help them all out in the evenings. Tomas, Noah, and I took that very seriously and we did invite guests.
We were aware that Chris wasn't getting enough and tried our best. The Secret Service hated it. People they didn't know would show up and Chris would politely tell them to shove it up their ass. Not the visitor. OK, maybe the visitor, but more literally.
You get the picture.
The last part is a pretty nice picture.
Everything that is wrong in the world is clustered in DC. It is a powerful city for all the wrong reasons. It is a bunch of people grifting their way through life on the public dole.
You're thinking I mean people that need a safety net because they're economically disadvantaged. Fuck that. Those people need help. I mean the politicians and everyone surrounding them and kissing their ass.
And they're not even kissing their actual ass!
Sorry. We spend a lot of time horny. Noah and Tomas try their best but come on. Chris, Ruby, Morgan, and me.
We wore them out by lunch. Then they recovered and we wore them out again.
I had a modest benefit that I was a spouse, like them, and was around the house more. OK, the lunch time wearing them out was all me.
We could also flit around the world all we wanted. The others couldn't. Sucked for them. It really did.
The one person that made the biggest difference and could absolutely sense when we were at our breaking point was Orlando. Oh, you expected Bob. Yes, Bob too, but Orlando would show up when he needed to show up. He just knew. Most of the time, Grace would be with him, which is outstanding. Sometimes it would just be Orlando. Sometimes he did bring Bob. OK, it was a little weird that the President of Russia would drop by for spontaneous sleepovers with the President of the United States. I don't think future leaders will be quite so friendly.
Although you never know. Maybe that's what you need in world leadership. More literal fucking and less figurative fucking.
Often Orlando brought Amai. We kind of needed her calm and her coaching.
And her cock. See! Dionysus is more fun. There was something calming about bouncing up and down on Amai's cock.
Tits and a cock, you know.
I have no real idea why I am on this rant, but we all need to vent, and they've all shared insane stories about dealing with DC. I'll share a few but let them tell their own stories.
You're probably expecting Chris, but you've read about her first day. This is Hunter. After the debacle of my Senate hearing, I was finally going into the actual office. I won't bother going through the hearing, since it was predictable. OK, maybe I'll share a little, because it was so predictable. You can imagine which party led the stupid question march. Thankfully that particular party is so weakened now that there are fewer and fewer of them. You elect one Cheeto and it damages the brand. Sorry. That was insulting. To Cheetos.
The hearing went on and on and on. Over five hours. A hearing that would have been about 10 seconds in Dionysus. Here's the entire meeting.
"Do you want to do it?"
Then we would all fuck. Now that would last for five hours.
Back to the hearing.
The first question.
"Your world seems to revolve around sex," said the Senator. I just smiled.
And waited. It didn't seem to be a question. Then I got bored. We're a few seconds in and I was bored. You should never ask me questions when I am bored.
"Yes, there is a spectacular amount of sex in our society. All day, every day," I said. "Inside, outside, on the beach, in space. Lots and lots of sex. Have you seen my wives? Lots of sex."
Now you're thinking I didn't actually say that.
I did.
"I should add that it is great sex too, with a lot of talented and experienced people. There was this one time in a helicopter...," I said. He cut me off before I could finish the story.
"How is that relevant?" he said.
"It's not, but you asked the question, and I'm here to answer your questions," I said. "We can take it offline and I can give you some tips if you'd like." I heard a moan behind me. Then I laughed, which he didn't appreciate.
His wife was in the gallery. She's the one who moaned.
I could teach her things.
See, still bored.
The gallery was talking too much, so they got a gavel. I want a gavel. I could do things with a gavel. I might be focusing on the gavel.
I suspect they were wondering what I could teach them. I turned around and hit them with my best smile.
At least a dozen of them vibrated through an orgasm and less than half were women.
A sticky day for them.
"You don't seem to be qualified for the job," said another Senator. I admit, I laughed.
"I have my law degree from NYU. I am licensed in all fifty states. I am licensed in fourteen countries. I was number one in my class," I said. "I have tried cases before the Supreme Court and the International Court. I run a multi-national corporation with billions in revenue," I said. "Which part of that is lacking in qualifications?"
"There is so much sex!" he shouted.
That didn't seem like a question either.
"What is this odd fascination with sex and how does it apply to this role?" I asked. "You're all kind of weird. We like sex, but we don't get this weird about it. Are you not getting enough?"
That sputtered him to a halt. I think we all knew the answer to the question.
"But you have sex with people other than your spouse!" shouted a third. Freaking shouted. The chairman was enjoying the hell out of it and letting them dig their own hole.
"Spouses, plural, but I'm just done talking about sex. Talk, talk, talk. What's the point?" I said. "It is like strip clubs. I don't get strip clubs. You just look. You don't get to even jack off, let alone fuck. You're sitting there with a bunch of other people, wearing clothes, watching naked women. What's the point?"
That was a very directed dig. He'd been photographed recently coming out of a strip club. It has caused quite a furor in his southern state.
"Strip clubs. Just silly," I said. One last dig.
"I don't understand these questions," I said. "Are they meant to embarrass me? They don't. Sex is not embarrassing. It's glorious. So, I'm done with questions related to sex. I'm young, I'm married, and I'm bi. Sex happens. Move on."
Yeah, had to throw in the bi. Just had to.
I did laugh because the word bi got a moan from behind me. I turned around and it was the husband of the lone Republican woman on the committee.
And he gave me the nicest smile.
Then they wandered down a bunch of paths that were ridiculous.
"These questions are ridiculous, and you know it," I said. "You're grandstanding for your base. What a waste of time. I'm here because I have been asked by the President of the United States to help out and I am happy to do so. No one that steps into this job is experienced at it and the one time you appointed someone for the second time it was a royal clusterfuck and the United States almost became a freaking dictatorship led by an orange grifter. I can do this job. I am not political. I am for the people. I will do the job to the best of my ability and if you don't like it, you can call me right back in this room and question me about it. The DOJ was a weapon for one of your Presidents and it shouldn't be. I will work hard to bring it back to where it should be and that includes a lot of really wonderful career civil servants who are working for your benefit at a lot less pay than they could make in the private sector. Many of you on this panel are here because you envision riches after your tenure. I am not. Hell, I don't need the money anyway. I could buy Spain."
They all just stared for a bit.
"And I like Spain," I said.
They got into some bickering, which was hilarious. In the end, I knew I was going to be confirmed. The Senate had 60 votes in my favor before I walked in the door. And I got to talk about sex. What fun.
"Are we done yet?" I asked.
"You've probably fucked the President," spit out the first guy that asked a question. I shouldn't have.
"Repeatedly," I said.
That ended the meeting.
Just wait until you hear Morgan's story. Beautiful, powerful, and married to a woman.
That didn't go well. OK, it went hilariously. Damn near like mine. After all, she was in the room.
It might not have been the right choice to make my nipples so visible.
Nah. It was the perfect choice. I showed up for my hearing dressed appropriately. Sort of. I wore a suit. Sort of a feminine men's suit, with a scoop neck white t-shirt.
I think I look nice. There's the teeny detail that I don't like bras and the shirt might have been a touch too tight.
And the hearing room is cold. Very cold.
I'm surprised my nipples didn't cut through the shirt. They appear to be enthralled. The same guy. The same question. About halfway through his question. I stretched a little. You know. Arched my back. Pulling the shirt very tight against my very erect nipples. The jacket fell back open a bit too.
I was fucking with him.
He got "Your world seems to revolve" and then stopped. While staring. At my nipples.
I waited a good three count and then answered.
"One would hope," I said. "We couldn't survive if the world didn't revolve."
Finally, someone else asked a question. I'm not sure the first guy even remembers how to talk.
"Why should we believe you're qualified?" asked a really snarky Senator.
"As opposed to your two-year degree from ITT Tech?" I thought. No, I didn't say it. I was tempted, but a lot of fine people did not have the same educational opportunities I have.
"I have undergraduate degrees in International Business and Economics at Oxford. I have my master's in public policy from Georgetown. I recently completed my joint MBA and JD at Harvard and have passed the bar in 49 states. I take the Nebraska bar exam on Tuesday and will pass. I run the world's largest charity, with assets measured in trillions. I am the Minister of Finance for the richest country in the world and we hold tens of trillions of debt of virtually every country in the world including the US. Especially the US. Our country has no debt and no deficit and still manages to provide free college and universal healthcare and a significant minimum income," I said. "What additional qualifications would you suggest?"
There was silence in the room. I'm not good with silence.
"It's the tits, isn't it?" I said. "You don't think I'm qualified because I have tits. Spectacular tits, I might add. Is that it?"
"We do not believe your lifestyle sets the correct example," said one dude in his most pompous voice.
"Which part? The part that I'm happily married? The part where I have dedicated my life to public service? Maybe the part where I have personally donated billions of dollars to important charities. Or that I personally paid to have Flint's water system repaired. It only cost $65 million and you all fucked that up for years. I've made it this far without being accused of fathering a child with my underage mistress."
"That was never proven!" he shouted. He has never denied it. He always says never proven.
"Want to bet?" I said. Just then, two agents in windbreakers with FBI on the back came up to him and escorted him out.
He wasn't nice. What can I say?
"Do you have a dossier on everyone on the committee?" asked another chubby white dude.
"Sure," I said. "Just as you have one on me and you can't wait to unload on the scandalous things you believe you know about me. Is it my having a wife? No, too pedestrian. The almost daily orgies where I fuck and suck with damn near anyone that is at least 9?
"That could be it, I suppose. Get over it. Our country freaking works and you're having to confirm a kid from Dionysus because you don't have one qualified person that you'll confirm. The entire Treasury is full of talented, qualified people, many of whom could have been and should have been promoted. I'm a caretaker and I will be involved but take considerable coaching from the experts. Not all of us can be truly lousy, uneducated, ideologically barren Senators like you."
That got me a gavel. I like gavels. Does my job come with a gavel? Can I just bring one to meetings?
I suppose I could. That could be my thing. I never go anywhere without my gavel.
Maybe not.
Just like Hunter, in the end, they're going to confirm me. I did love one video that CNN caught and damn near played on a loop. The quiet guy. Old Republican of indeterminant age.
He's clearly staring at my chest. The angle is clear.
Then he licks his lips. And smiles. Dad plays it all the time. It makes him laugh.
So does CNN. I think it makes Anderson laugh too.
Attractive? Check.
Tits? Check. Nice ones too.
Young? Seriously young. 13
Rich? Beyond measure.
Hispanic. Well, she's clearly not qualified.
I just sat down. I'm wearing a very nice Zara skirt, with a nice scoop neck t-shirt. Nothing untoward.
Come on. I got to use untoward.
OK, maybe a little. I took Morgan's lead. My shirt is a little too tight and a little too sheer.
And I'm Hispanic, remember? I also have big puffy nipples. Very puffy nipples.
They might be a tad erect. And visible.
And fucking sexy.
Here we go.
"Why should we think that a 13-year-old girl is qualified to be the Secretary of Commerce?" asked the first Senator. He damn near spit out the word girl.
I don't think he appreciated that I laughed.
"You forgot to put Hispanic in front of girl," I said. "I'm sure it was in your notes."
The fact that he blushed a bit seemed to confirm it.
"One of the most powerful woman in Congress was a bartender," I said. "Where do you see weakness in my background?"
"You completely lack experience!" he shouted.
"Did you read any of the briefing documents we provided?" I said. "Page two, first paragraph. Do you need a new copy?"
An aide reached over and handed him the document, clearly turned to the correct page. He read it and laughed.
"I'm supposed to believe that Target, Costco, and something called Inditex report to you?" he asked.
"No," I said, and he just beamed.
"They don't report to me. I own them," I said. That got me a stare.
"You own Costco. Sure," he said. I pulled out my phone. It was mostly show. I'd looked before I came. I am always prepared.
"Dude, that's a lot of lube. You're averaging a bottle, a big bottle, every three weeks. Shoot, you're averaging four condoms a day," I said. "I admit that's surprising given your wife is clearly of an age to be beyond menopause."
Another Senator jumped in to cover for him. Before he could even speak, I did.
"Hell, you use more lube than he does," I said. He just sat back.
"Not that I'm criticizing. My lube consumption is much higher than yours," I said. "You use a lot when you love DP as much as I do."
Yeah, I went there. Did anyone mention I am 13. At least I am a teenager now.
"OK, here's the deal. You're going to try to embarrass me with a lot of things that don't embarrass me. You haven't even got to the part where I am part of a quad and we're all married. Damn we're fun too. Then I'm going to embarrass you with a lot of things that do embarrass you. We'll go back and forth for a while and a few of you will likely divorce, while my marriage will be stronger than ever. Then again, my husband can probably perform a lot better than any of you, given he is 13," I said. "So, can we just be done? The outcome is inevitable, and it can only get worse for you."
It appears that we're done.
But do you see why we don't like DC?
Back to Hunter. Today is my first day in the office. I am making a statement. I'm heading to the office in nice khakis and a polo shirt and a comfortable pair of Allbirds. The DOJ is now a business casual organization. They just don't know it yet. I am even wearing earrings. Nothing ostentatious if you don't consider 2 carat diamond studs ostentatious.
Each. 2 carats each. I don't wear earrings often, but hey, making a point.
We're setting a new fashion tone at the DOJ. I got to the front desk and apparently no one had notified Axel that I was coming. Nope, didn't make it up. His nametag says Axel. Now you could go the redneck route with Axel, or the Eddie Murphy from Beverley Hills Cop Axel.
In this case, Axel is Asian, about 70 years old, and tiny.
"OK, I have got to ask," I said. "And I apologize in advance. I sincerely mean this with the best of intentions. You are not the typical Axel."
"Everyone tells me that. Heck, I don't even understand it. Someone gave me the nickname years ago and it stuck," he said. "It stuck and I don't even know why."
Seriously. No one told him that he sounds exactly like Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop.
"Let me ask you a question," I said. "Have you ever heard your voice recorded? Did it sound like you expected?" He laughed.
"Oh God, no," he said. "Not at all what I hear. On a recording I sound exactly like Eddie Murphy. I have no idea why."
I just waited him out. You would have too. I think an actual light bulb lit up over his head.
"And I love that freaking movie," he said. "How have I not figured that out in 35 years?"
What could I do but shrug?
"You are officially my hero," he said. "How can I help a fine young man today?" I stuck my hand out and he took it.
"My name is Hunter," I said. "I'm the new Attorney General." He laughed.
"The rest of your class isn't here yet, are they?" he said, smiling. That's when I spotted, on a pile of paper, today's briefing notes for the guards.
My picture was at the top of the first page. I pointed at it. His head bobbed back and forth like he was at a tennis match. He grabbed the piece of paper and held it way out.
"I forgot my glasses today," he said. "Hard to read at all." Just then a woman came over, in a similar uniform, but her badge said she is a supervisor.
She is also freaking gorgeous and in this culture I can't do shit about that. Tall, lithe, with caramel skin, and nice B cups, maybe even C cups, pushing out that uniform. Hell, at home, we'd be fucking on the counter. Hell, Axel might join in. I think I just heard him snort. Did I hear him snort?
"Did you just snort?" I said.
"Who me?" he said. Then he snorted again.
Just let it lie Hunter.
"I'm Kymani," she said. "I'm the shift supervisor. I'm also a student at Georgetown. If you ever happen to be on campus, let me know." She has a nice firm handshake.
Axel snorted again.
This time I waited.
"Come on," he said. "Kymani is gorgeous, is 15, goes to one of your schools, and just subtly propositioned you in a way you could easily take her up on it later, or pretend you didn't understand. That deserved a snort."
OK, it did. Kymani laughed.
"I thought I played it well," she said. We're going to have to have a family conversation, because I really, really want to drop by campus. Hey, I'm a horny 15-year-old. OK, married to two sexy teenage goddesses. So?
Kymani walked me up and I learned she is studying public policy and also getting her law degree.
"Let me know when you graduate," I said, as we got to my office.
"Oh goody," she said. "We can celebrate."
"Tempting as that is, I meant because there is likely a job here for you," I said.
"I graduate on Wednesday," she said. "And take the bar exam on Thursday. I'll pass. Can I interview now?"
"My Chief of Staff position is open," I said. "Want to start today?"
"Sure," she said. I love her confidence.
"Just sure?" I said. "No questions. No surprise."
"No and no," she said. "Listen. I'm 15-years-old and finishing my degree at Georgetown and for that I thank everyone in Dionysus. I know I'm advanced. Is this job a huge stretch for me? Sure, but you're 15, and you're the AG. I can do it and I can do it well."
"Do you have any other clothes with you?" I asked. She laughed.
"Sweats and a Tupac t-shirt," she said.
"Perfect," I said. "Go change." She just kind of stared at me for a minute. We got to my office just as a courier did. Holding a dress bag. And a shopping bag. He saw Kymani and brightened. He walked over.
"I believe these are for you," he said, handing them to Kymani, bowing head a bit and walking away.
"Does he know that no delivery person would ever make it up to this floor?" asked Kymani.
"Probably," I said. I heard his laugh just as the elevator doors closed.
"The mustard gave him away," she said.
"It always does," I replied, and we laughed. She pointed down the hall at the ladies' room and headed that way.
I waited. You know I did. She walked back out, wearing a dark suit, with a white t-shirt, and Allbirds flats. She walked over to me.
"Everything fits perfectly, except the t-shirt is a size too small," she said, opening her jacket. "And you forgot a bra."
I think I swooned.
"It is the right size and I didn't forget," I said. While having a tough time averting my gaze.
Come on. Averting my gaze. Classic.
She laughed and let the jacket back down, which covered her nipples. Very fine nipples. That peek out a lot when she moves.
"It's oddly powerful," she said.
"I know," I responded. She laughed again.
"You lost about four octaves there, dude," she said.
"Listen," I said. "In different circumstances, I would have bent you over the service desk. I know, I'm not supposed to say that, but you're at one of our schools and you know it is true. This is not those circumstances."
"Then invite me to dinner at The Falls," she said.
"They're going to find Kyrsten. When they do, and we've all happily resigned, I will do that," I said.
"Well that's a bright spot, given I'll get fired the same day," she said.
"Unlikely," I said. "You'll be too valuable."
She snorted. You know she snorted.
"Trust me," I said. "Too valuable."
We walked in together. The office opened up into an area with several desks. A woman jumped up and came over.
"Hi," she said. "Welcome. My name is Alia. I'm your lead assistant. May I get you coffee or a beverage?"
"Good lord, no," I said. "You're the freaking lead assistant to the Attorney General. Let everybody get their own coffee, including me."
OK, she stared.
"And who might you be?" she asked, of Kymani.
"My name is Kymani," she said. "I'm the new Chief of Staff."
"Outstanding," said Alia. "A position that has been open too long. A pleasure to meet you." No reaction at all to her age, although in that dress, I wouldn't guess 15.
Alia turned to lead the way into my new office.
"When do you think she'd realize that I have said good morning to her for the last year?" thought Kymani and it didn't even surprise me.
"Never," I thought. "Because if she does, she'll dismiss it as being too ludicrous."
OK, Kymani snorted and gave me a dazzling smile.
I am smart enough to close my eyes, which made her laugh.
"Well played," she thought.
"Funny, once," I thought. "Don't do it again."
"OK," she said, which confused Alia. She led me into my office and then showed Kymani the connecting door to her office. How handy. It would be even more handy in our world.
"Damn straight it would," thought Kymani.
"You can't always read me," I thought. "Only when we agree, and only for that situation."
"OK," said Kymani, which also confused Alia.
"Can you please arrange a senior staff meeting in 30 minutes," said Kymani. "Be sure to attend yourself."
"To take notes?" asked Alia.
"No, as a member of senior staff," said Kymani. "You have a key role."
"Oh, I'm not senior staff," said Alia.
"How long have you been here?" I asked.
"Twenty-seven years in this job," said Alia, proudly. "Through multiple administrations. Good and bad."
"Then you are most definitely senior staff," I said. "Promote your best assistant. You're the Deputy Chief of Staff now."
"I could do that job," she said, sticking her chin out.
"I know," I said. "That's why I offered it to you."
"You were serious?" she said. "Really? Me?"
"Alia, I would never joke about something that serious. I have no idea what I am doing. Neither does Kymani," I said. "You're our continuity. I need you to tell us when we're making a bad decision. I need your insights into the team. Into cases." Something was confusing me here.
"When did you pass the bar?" I asked. She was shocked.
"I never did," she said. "I was one class short when my Dad died. I had to take care of my Mom. That was 23 years ago. I never went back. Both my parents have passed now. Just me and my cat."
"When's the next exam?" I asked.
"Thursday," she replied. I knew that. She knew for a reason.
"You've prepared every year, but never taken the test," I said. She nodded, clearly embarrassed.
"OK, the first task for the two of you," I said. "As soon as the staff meeting is over, you're locking yourself in Kymani's office. Kymani, you're going to tutor Alia and make sure you're both ready. Alia get signed up. The two of you are both taking it on Thursday."
She looked at Kymani.
"You're not an attorney yet?" said Alia.
"That is your first question?" said Kymani. That's why senior staff found the three of us laughing.
We did the introductions around the table.
Everyone seemed pretty pleasant except something was bothering the Assistant AG for Civil Rights.
"Spill it," I said, to him. "Safe space. Anything you want to say is fair game. To all of you. That's always true. I am nothing if not brutally honest and expect you to do the same. I do not have the experience to excel in this job without your help. You are the experts. I am also not a micro-manager. Keep me informed on anything you feel I should know and make your own decisions. Now, back to you Jermaine. What's bothering you and how would you fix it?"
"Well, this might be career ending, but you're another in a long line of white boys running the DOJ," said Jermaine. "It's been a while since we've had many people of color."
"Fair statement," I said, to his surprise. "How is that affecting your organization?"
The assistant AG for Tax snorted. Hell yes, I waited her out.
"His organization is damn near only him. It has been decimated. No funding. No support. Even under Kyrsten's administration. In her case, I just don't think she knew," she said.
"What was your organization's funding under Obama?" I asked. He threw out a pretty big figure.
"And now?" I asked. The number was less than 10% of the former number.
"Well that's nuts," I said. "Where did the funding go?"
"We don't know," said the Assistant AG for Antitrust. "That's the confusing part. None of us got more."
Shit.
"Kymani," I said. "After Thursday, work with the Inspector General to get to the bottom of this. A total budget review. Put Alia in charge."
"Me?" she squeaked.
"Yes, you," I said.
"Alia, you're the perfect choice. You know everything. I would have failed at this job except for you," said Jermaine and there was general consensus around the table.
"Good luck with the boards," said the AAG for Tax. "We're all happy to help you study or review. All of us."
Alia sat their stunned.
"Every year we hope you'll do it," said Jermaine.
"Then speak up," I said. "Seriously. If you all knew, be vocal. Be supportive. Do it in private but have each other's backs."
They all nodded with that one.
"OK, Jermaine, your funding is restored immediately," I said. "Bring me your plans for how you're going to spend it when you're ready."
"I'll have it first thing in the morning," he said.
"No, you won't," I said. "You just won't. I get that you want to jump right on it and maybe even impress me, but this office closes at 5. There will be situations where we all work late, but they're rare and shouldn't happen often. Killing yourselves for no reason is not the way we do things."
"You know those are, almost word for word, what the President said when she took over State," said one of the other AAG. Sorry, don't know all their names yet.
"Because it is the right answer," I said. "How much of your day do you waste on bureaucracy?" They all talked about it for a bit and settled on about 50%.
"Then stop it," I said. "If you reach the point where you know the answer, then make the decision. If you want my opinion, then I'll give it, but it is kind of silly. All I can do is ask you questions. How many of you have political appointees that are just filling seats and causing you problems?"
All of them.
"Come up with a list," I said. "We'll buy them out and send them on their way."
"Uh, you can't do that," said Jermaine. "That would require an appropriation bill and the President's signature. For that matter, you can't just hand me a few billion to start things back up."
"Sure, I can," I said. "To both things. With a directed donation. I looked."
"A multi-billion dollar directed donation," said Kymani. I admit, I laughed.
"You will all begin to understand Dionysus a little better," I said. "One thing I have access to is money. A few billion is not a problem. The funny thing is that I will likely fund it by forgiving US debt. That's the simplest way."
"How much US debt do you hold?" asked one of the team. OK, do I answer?
"My answer is confidential, do you understand?" I said. "I'm going to trust you all. You're my team. If this gets out it could destabilize markets. If you can't all agree, I won't answer."
They all agreed. Curiosity will do that for you.
"Eleven trillion," I said.
That stunned them into silence.
"So, you have all your money invested in US debt?" said Jermaine. "That seems risky, even if it is the US."
I didn't answer.
"Holy shit," said Alia. "You didn't answer. It's just part of your holdings."
"We own a few companies too," I said.
They all sat back for a bit, but it was Kymani that spoke for them.
"It's a damn good thing you're a benevolent country," she said, and they all agreed.
Yes it is.
And so ended my first staff meeting.
Everything else through the day went better than I expected. It really did. You could just see a spring in the step of the team. I went down for lunch with Alia and Kymani and picked a random table to join.
"May I join you?" I asked, with my two friends standing with me. They clearly knew Alia, but not Kymani and me. They all agreed, and we sat down.
They continued their conversation and we joined in a bit. I guess I asked a few too many questions because a woman turned to me.
"Good questions," she said. "Are you here with a parent? Some sort of Take your kid to work day?
Alia snorted.
I waited her out and she laughed.
"He's my nephew. Curious guy isn't he?" she said. This time Kymani laughed out loud.
"You know she's lying, right?" said Kymani. "He's the new AG."
"Yeah, like the AG would eat in our cafeteria," said another woman. "Does anyone ever tell you that you look just like the guy who co-owns HT. What's his name? Tomas? No, no, you look like Hunter."
"Which is handy, since my name is Hunter," I said. She laughed.
"Now that's a big coincidence," she said.
"Holy shit," said yet a third woman.
"You are that Hunter. You just got confirmed today," she said. "He is the AG."
"Come on," said one of the men. "The dude that owns HT is like 15."
"Yep," I said.
Then I waited. Somehow I ended up taking selfies with them. One woman got her 11-year-old daughter on Facetime.
Sure.
We had a nice chat. I had to laugh at her last thought before we hung up. I think she thought we had hung up.
"Oh, hell yes I'd do him," she said, under her breath.
"Me too dear," said her grandma, who was sitting right next to me. "Me too." Then she gave me a smile.
Under different circumstances. It's not like they'd be my first grandmother/granddaughter.
With a grandfather and grandson thrown in for good measure.
Pen passed.
My first day did not go as well as Hunter's. This is Morgan. For one, this job is kind of boring. The US Mint, printing money, managing the debt.
A 4-year-old could do it. Like Jessica. Or Bill.
But it is important. One challenge I am going to have is on the management of US debt. We own just so damn much of it. It is a big part of this job and I'm going to have to recuse myself. My first staff meeting went pretty well, except for one guy.
Who is freaking in charge of managing the US debt.
Shit.
"Brett, you're being openly disrespectful," I said.
"I prefer to be called by my last name. More formally," he said, all pompous and shit.
"Too bad," I said. "Brett. We're a casual organization and we're all teammates. Teammates use first names. You're also spending way too much of this meeting staring at my tits."
Maybe I shouldn't have but Brett blushed and everyone else laughed, so, well, worth it.
"Listen up everyone," I said. "I'm just freaking Morgan."
"OK, freaking Morgan, but that's a little weird," said Moriah. My exec assistant. Who I think I love. Imagine a mid-forties black woman. Maybe 5'0". In heels. Easily topping 200 pounds. 100 kilos.
No, seriously, That's really Moriah. She is brash, outspoken, pulls no punches, and is beautiful.
In different circumstances, I'd do her. Repeatedly. Well, this job has to end someday.
"Brett, this isn't going to work," I said. "I don't trust you. You run the one part of the organization from which I have to recuse myself. That's a conundrum."
Do I win the word of the day? Conundrum? We need a word of the day. The word that is most fun that is legitimately used in conversation. I'm happy to be the reward for the winner.
Sorry. A little distracted. Thinking about Moriah. If you don't get that, you don't understand us. Smart and snarky is a seriously winning assemblage. See, that was forced. Combination or even blend would have been a more natural choice. I should focus.
"OK, Brett, you and Moriah are going to switch jobs," I said. "That will fix the problem."
Oh, now they're both staring at me.
"Me?" squeaked Moriah. I think I might have gone high with this one.
"Where did you grow up, Moriah?" I asked.
"Right here in DC," she said.
"Let me guess, Sidwell Friends, followed by Georgetown," I said. She laughed.
"Washington Metro high school," she said.
"So, you understand living paycheck to paycheck. Managing a budget. Deciding what things you absolutely need that you're going to give up, so there can be food on the table," I said. "Maybe even watching your parents go to bed every night, clearly hungry, so that you could eat."
She just nodded.
"What percentage of your take home do you give to your parents?" I asked. She looked a little embarrassed.
"About half," she said. "I still live with them. I can't afford anything else."
"Because you give them half," I said. She just nodded.
"What about you Brett? Washington Metro. Still living with your parents?" I asked.
"Not even close," said Brett, with way too much pleasure. "Phillip Academy followed by UConn."
"You lived in Boston and went to Phillips and didn't go to Harvard?" I asked. It was a guess, but it hit home. He blushed.
"I preferred a public school," he said, all pompous and shit. The entire table broke out laughing. Except me. I just smiled. No one said it, but we all thought it.
He couldn't get into Harvard.
"Have you ever managed a budget? Tried to figure out how to pay the light bill and buy food? Worked 2, 3 or even 4 jobs to pay your way through college?" I asked.
"Of course not. We have people that handle that," said Brett.
"Yes, you're switching. I'd rather have Moriah's life experience than your complete lack of experience. How in the hell did you even get this job?" I asked.
"A better question is when was he appointed to the position," said Moriah. Oh. Moriah is pulling no punches.
"I have been proudly serving since 2017," he said, puffing out his chest. Now who was President in 2017? Who?
"OK, the swap is a go," I said. Brett sputtered. Brett sputters a lot.
"Moriah has to be Senate confirmed," said Brett.
"She will be. By lunch," I said. Well, she will.
You know. This is long. And boring. Very boring. I think we're just done with most of our DC stories.
After all, we get to go home. Yay!
OK, I'll come back and tell the story of the night I brought Moriah home and Hunter brought Jermaine home. My God.
It has a nice twist at the ending too.
My hearing
My turn
My first day
God this is annoying
Did you enjoy the story? Now is the time to send me comments, suggestions, and ideas.
Email me. Comments, ideas, and suggestions welcome
Character information
Name
Chapters
Age
Description when introduced
Stats when introduced
Bob
All
27
Dad
6'2" (188 cm) - Swimmer's body, 6-inch (15 cm) cut average cock
Amy
All
25
Mom (and the Nanny, to start)
5'1" (155 cm) - Bright red hair, C cup
Morgan
All
19
The oldest of the new kids
5'5" (165 cm) Dirty blonde, small B cup, gorgeous
Orlando
All
17
The middle child and the only boy
5'0" (152 cm) -- Dirty blonde, 6-inch (15 cm) cut thick cock
Leslie
All
15
The youngest
4'6" (137 cm) -- Brown hair, flat-chested
Chris
6,8,11,14-121
15
Boat sales person but becomes more
4'11" (150 cm) -- Slim, glorious puffy nipples
Hunter
2,3,13-14,27,30,32,34,36,38-39,42-44,47-49,51,56-58,60-61,63-66,68-69,71-74,76,79-86,90-91,93-94,96,98-99,101-102,104-105,109-112,114-117,121
15
Leslie's new friend
5'0" (152 cm) - cute as hell, 3-inch (8 cm) cock
Hallie
2,3,13-14,27,30,32,34,38-39,42-44,47-49,51,56-58,60-61,63-64,66,69,71-74,76,79-85,89-91,93-94,98-99,101-102,104-105,109-112,115-117,121
15
Hunter's twin sister
4'8" (142 cm) - small A cup
Ruby
6,14,16-25,27-29,31-40,42-43,45-47,49-58,61,63-74,76-93,95,95-96,98-121
13
Juanita's sister
4'11" (150 cm) -- Dark hair, Hispanic, sexy, flat
Sophia
7,8-9,14-19,23-24,27,29-34,36-44,46-48,53-54,56-58,62-64,66,68,70-71,73-76,79-82,84-85,87-88,90-95,97-98,100-105,108-110,112,115-119,121
22
New Italian friend and Goddess
5'7" (170 cm) - stunning, simply stunning, B cup
Noah
17,18,24,27-28,31-34,36-37,39,41,43-44,46,48,51,57,63-66,69,71,73-74,76,79-82,84-85,87,90-92,95-98,101-102,107,109,114,116-117,119,121
15
Chris' new friend
5'7" (170 cm) - thin, 5-inch (13 cm) average cock. Big balls
Santiago
29,41,45,65,76-77,79,85,92,121
32
LA caretaker
5'11" (180 cm) - lean, modest tats, 6-inch (15 cm) average uncut cock
Tai
29,45,65,76-77,79,85,92,121
30
LA caretaker
5'4" (163 cm) - slim, sexy, B cup
Bill
43,50-51,54,62,66-68,70-72,74-82,84-87,89-91,94-96,99,102,104-105,107,109-112,114-116,118-121
4
Bob and Amy's son
Jessica
43,50-51,54,62,66-68,70-72,74-82,84-87,89-91,93-96,99-100,102,104-105,107-112,114-116,118-121
4
Bob and Amy's daughter
Tomas
46,52,55-57,61,63,66-76,78-87,89-90,92-96,98-99,101-110,112,115-117,119-121
13
Vincente's son
5'4" (163 cm) - Also Cute AF, sexy, and skilled. 6-inch (15 cm) thick uncut cock
Pari
48,49,62,65,68-70,74,77-78,80-81,83,86-95,97-115,117-121
11
Alea and Sargon's daughter
4'10" (147 cm) - cute, sexy, breast bumps
Magda
61,78,86,95,99,114,121
Thirties
Berlin college president
5'7" (170 cm) - Blonde, German, beautiful, C cup
Alice
62,75,86-87,121
Forties
TJ's Mom
5'3" (160 cm) - Mom bod, but rocked it, D cup
Miguell
85,121
20
Tampa gang leader
5'9" (175 cm) - Dark hair, Hispanic, wiry, 5-inch (13 cm) uncut cock
Nylah
94,95-96,99-100,102,104-105,107,110,112,117,119,121
6
The newest family members
3'4" (102 cm) - Cute little thing, looks a lot like Leslie
Colby
94,95-96,99-100,102,104-105,107,110,112,117,119,121
6
The newest family members
3'4" (102 cm) - Cute little thing, looks a lot like Orlando
Edwin
121
29
MS-13 Leader
5'9" (175 cm) - Dark hair, Hispanic, fit, tats, 6-inch (15 cm) uncut cock
Joaquin
121
31
Teacher in LA
5'10" (178 cm) - Dark hair, Hispanic, stocky, 9-inch (23 cm) thick uncut cock
Thiago
121
8
Student in LA and Joaquin's son
3'8" (112 cm) - Dark hair, thin, 4-inch (10 cm) thicker uncut cock
Antonella
121
8
Student in LA and Joaquin's daughter
3'8" (112 cm) - Dark hair, thin, flat
Kay
121
25
Teacher in LA
5'6" (168 cm) - Auburn hair, thin, C cup
Axel
121
70
Guard at the DOJ
5'4" (163 cm) - Dark hair, Asian, tiny
Kymani
121
15
Georgetown student and DOJ aide
5'7" (170 cm) - Dark hair, caramel skin, gorgeous, C cup
Alia
121
60
Lead assistant for the DOJ
5'5" (165 cm) - Brown hair, average, B cup
Jermaine
121
42
Assistant AG for Civil Rights
6'1" (185 cm) - Dark hair, black, fit
Moriah
121
47
Lead assistant at Treasury
5'0" (152 cm) - Dark hair, Black, voluptuous, DD cup
Brett
121
38
Leader at Treasury and a dick.
End of Chapter