2 November 2020

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I love email. If you give me a story line, I'll name a character after you. I really need ideas for fun situations. Get it?

JJ clothing

Mom and Dad wouldn't let me name our new clothing lines after them. I loved the idea of the women's line named Julia and the men's line named Jesse.

Sorry. Ruby here.

They did not love it. Deep down I don't think either one thought all this was real. Yeah I get that every time I'm mobbed at a Costco.

Jeez.

Anyway, they did agree we could name it JJ Clothing and they would frequently, but not exclusively, model for it. I agreed but for some reason kept forgetting to hire other models. Have you freaking seen my parents? Such unassuming gorgeous people.

Mom liked it when I brought outfits to get her opinion, but she was focused on her real job.

Dad was involved. If I had guessed I would have gotten it backwards. Dad and I went to Arteixo a dozen times in two months while we were designing the new lines. He was just as strong on his opinions for the new women's line as he was for the men's line. We did tons of focus groups but then we stopped wasting our time.

Dad was always right. Always. I've never seen anything like it. He had the touch. We went broad too. Every possible thing a man and woman would wear. Pants. Shirts. Dresses. Skirts. Underwear. Everything but shoes and sexy lingerie. That was Tomas' thing. Oh and by underwear I meant more mainstream than HT. Underwear, not lingerie.

Dad's eye was particularly skilled in women's undergarments. Yeah laugh all you want but we are talking down to the details. The colors. The lace styles. He had an idea for a new bra clasp that was revolutionary. Our bras would be best sellers for the latch. I asked him about it, and he laughed. Out loud.

"I had a singular goal in the design. I used my skills as a maintenance guy to think it through," he said. OK now I was curious. He laughed again and called one of the models over that was wearing one of the bras. He waved her down and whispered something to her and she laughed and nodded.

Then with one hand, faster than you could blink, he had the bra unlatched and off.

"Men have one goal with a bra," said Dad.

Oh we all lost it, even the model who found herself without the bra. What made me laugh is that I knew he was serious. About all men. I think the model liked Dad because she leaned down and kissed him. She took his hands and put them on her breasts.

"If you take it off, you have to follow through," she said.

Not many 13-year-olds get to watch their father fuck a gorgeous model. He put everything he had into it and he has a lot. Damn, I even learned a few things.

Very few 13-year-olds get to cleanup a model after their dad came in her and on her. Somehow I ended up naked, laying on her, making out with her. I felt strong hands lift me up on my knees.

Which is when Dad slid right in. Oh, everyone was used to it by now. Dad's a bit of a legend, but then again so is Mom. I should mention the gorgeous model is 15 and a model for Zara. The new latch was going on everything. I should introduce Genevieve. Another chapter.

And here we go

We were ready for launch. A big splashy launch. We had invited fashion influencers from all around the world like Lauren and Angela. We were doing it at our place in Arteixo. The roads were even done although we didn't need them. We sent pilots in our planes to get them. All dressed in our clothes, of course. The key influencers got actual adults wearing the new lines. Tom. Jess. Blake. Alison. Few of our adults were of an age to only wear the new lines but they sure rocked them. The two most powerful influencers, one from NYC and one from Paris, got royal pilots.

Bob for New York and Amy for Paris.

When you want to make a statement, make a big statement.

Speaking of which, we might have gotten carried away at our new property. Remember the twelve story hotel? There were three more scattered on the huge property plus a hundred or so houses. You could call them cottages but let's be honest, these weren't little beach cottages. We had plenty of room for everyone. We all just loved the place. It was beautiful, quiet, out of the way, yet still convenient. You know. In the northern hemisphere.

OK, nothing was actually far.

It was special, though. The view was literally across the Atlantic. It was gorgeous. I had to laugh, though. We all took up golf. After all we had our own golf course. It wasn't even Bob that started it.

It was Tomas and Hunter. They'd started playing when they were on the road. They started at our resort in Dallas. They went out one day just fooling around. It was Hunter, Tomas, Phary, and Pari. Quite a crew. I think they confused the people in the pro shop. I'll let Tomas take over for a bit. Yes this is a big tangent. It wasn't even long ago. Phary is new to Dallas.

Oh God we were bad

Tomas here. For some reason, the four of us decided to play golf. It was a Tuesday afternoon and about 3,000 degrees in Dallas so getting a tee time wasn't a challenge. We were all staying at the resort with Pari. Hunter and I were here on business. Phary goes to school here. Pari happened to be in town visiting the school. Yeah, she has a house, but why not stay at her resort.

We went to the pro shop and were completely clueless. Embarrassingly so. There was one young woman working and when we explained we wanted everything for the four of us to play, all top of the line, she called the club pro out. Somehow neither of them knew any of us. They clearly doubted our ability to pay until Pari gave them her room key to scan. I'm guessing her record was flagged because they both gasped.

"We are so sorry we didn't recognize you," said the pro. Pari laughed.

"Why would you?" laughed Pari. "Just outfit us all like we know what we are doing. Are you two on commission?"

They both nodded.

"How does it work now that she called you out?" Pari asked.

"She passed you to me so it would be my sale," he said. "I've complained that wasn't fair but have been splitting it in this situation. I do that personally."

Well that sucks. Pari sent a quick text probably to Catalina.

"All fixed. The new policy is that you both get paid 100% of the commission," said Pari. "Now let's make your month."

I never did learn the pro's name, but the young woman was Cassiopeia. What a beautiful name. Somehow we ended up spending $65,000 on everything. I laughed when I looked over Pari's shoulder. She left a 20% tip. A $13,000 tip.

"There must be a mistake," said Cassiopeia. "Surely you meant $130."

"Nope," said Pari. It turned out that Cassiopeia was the reigning Texas state juniors champ even though she was only 13 years old. Wow. She wasn't even in high school yet and was being recruited for top college teams already.

"Will that tip get you in trouble with the NCAA?" asked Hunter who then explained it to us.

"Maybe," she said. "I'll have to figure that out. If so, he can have it."

Well that sucked.

"Are you good enough to go pro?" asked Hunter. "Or is college your goal? Wait, I can hire you for private golf lessons can't I?" She assured us he could, so we all hired her to walk the course with us and give us pointers. We insisted she play too.

"We will talk on the course," said Hunter.

On the course

Hunter here for no particular reason. I was the only American on the trip and the NCAA did concern me. We would chat with Cassiopeia while we walked. She was really sweet even though we were freaking clueless. She took us to the driving range first and taught us the basics starting with how to hold a club. We had all agreed to just use our natural athletic skill, such as it is. Let's face it. We could all easily do a round of eighteen hole in ones. That might not be subtle.

Pari, Tomas, and I weren't very good. I had a wicked slice. We all had major issues, but it was great fun.

Phary was a revelation and I chatted with her to make sure it was for real. You know. We thought a conversation. She was playing fair and square.

Her shots were dead eye down the center, and she was consistently hitting over 200 yards. She may be small, but she is strong as hell and a natural athlete. Cassiopeia was impressed.

"How long have you been playing Phary?" asked Cassiopeia. Phary laughed.

"About twenty minutes," said Phary. We were all stunned. None of us were going to improve in the next 30 minutes so we headed out to the course. Pari had paid for three tee times to give us a buffer but we would let people play through if necessary. I rode with Cassiopeia and learned more about her situation. She lived with her dad, who had played when he was younger and had been playing with her since she was 2. He had even framed her original tiny driver. I really got to know her and like her.

Being a part of the family, I had some choices on how to help.

"Our family would like to help you," I said.

"Your family?" said Cassiopeia. "Why would your family help me? Help me with what?" That confused me.

Oh wait.

"Did you know why your system flagged Pari?" I asked. She shook her head no. You can't blame me for letting out a little bark.

"It just showed she was an elite VIP and had unlimited credit," she said.

"Who did you think she was?" I asked.

"Some important businessman's kid, I guess," said Cassiopeia. "I have no idea how the rest of you are connected."

"Do know who owns the resort?" I asked. "Sorry for being so cryptic. Just stay with me."

She got a huge smile on her face.

"The kingdom of Dionysus," she said.

"Do you know what that means?" I asked.

"Oh yes," she said.

"Why don't you go to school here?" I asked.

"There is no golf team," said Cassiopeia. "Duh."

"Yeah but there is wrestling," I said with a smile.

"The other sport where I'm a champion," she replied. Oh boy.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" I said. "Or my friend." I pointed across the fairway at Tomas.

"How in the world would I know who you two are?" she said.

I stuck out my hand to her and she instinctively shook it.

"My name is Hunter," I said. "His name is Tomas."

"HT," she whispered. "You're Prince Hunter. Oh wow." All of the sudden she seemed nervous.

"Tell me about your parents," I said. She hadn't mentioned a mom, but I shouldn't assume.

"Just my dad and me," she said. "Always has been. My mom died in childbirth. He is Tony." She had gathered her strength. I love strong women.

"I'm sorry," I said, and she laughed.

"I appreciate that, but we have done pretty well," she said. "Dad is a plumber. He does OK but I knew it was really hard on him to pay for my sport. I have to pay full greens fees because of the NCAA so my whole check goes right back to the course."

"Doesn't the school pay for it?" I asked.

"Most school districts yes," she said. "My dad insists I go to Catholic girls' school and they don't. That cost is killing him too."

"Catholic girls' school and you work at a Dionysus resort," I said, and she laughed again.

"Oh dad thinks the Catholics are nutcases, but Mom was Catholic," she said. "And this is the only place that can legally hire someone under 14."

"But that means you were tested for the school too, right?" I said. She nodded again so I looked her up. Oh shit. She had tested incredibly well. What a waste.

The conversation took the entire 18 holes. I still sucked. Phary shot a 79. She was upset with herself.

It was her first round ever. She was coming back tomorrow. Cassiopeia shot a 69 without trying very hard. Even I could tell she was beyond good.

I asked Cassiopeia to invite Tony to dinner with us. She got confused and I had to explain I meant her too.

"My dad would never come to my job for dinner. Never. He is a blue collar guy. We play the public courses. He would be too embarrassed," she said.

"OK," I said. "Does he have a favorite hangout? Maybe a sports bar?" That set her off into another round of laughter.

"He works nights at a crappy sports bar called Murray's. The food is good, but it is just old. People come because my dad treats them well. But that won't last much longer. Murray's is for sale and they'll probably tear it down and build something for millennials. He would never work there," said Cassiopeia.

"Is he working tonight?" I said. She said he was.

"OK. Can you get there?" I asked.

"Sure. I'm the queen of JetsonCar," she said. "I was going anyway. I do my homework at a table in the restaurant. Dad is a little overprotective. What time?"

"Early. We are beat. We crossed 8 time zones," I said. "Will he be working at 1800?"

"Yes. He starts at 6." she said. I'd been sharing some of this with the other three as we went along.

"Cassiopeia owns Murray's now," thought Tomas to me. "She is too good for college. We can move it if it is an issue. Her dad's name must be different. I couldn't find him."

"That's because he is here illegally," thought Cassiopeia. "I'm not. I have my mom's last name."

Oh boy. She's powerful. She turned to me with some fire.

"You bought a 13-year-old a bar," said Cassiopeia. "How's that going to work?" I laughed and brought up the Dionysus consulate webpage. Once we figured out this scam, er approach, everything was a consulate. I showed her Murray's on the list. She burst out laughing.

"Sure. A consulate at Murray's," said Cassiopeia. "You people are weird. Do you really think I should go pro?"

"Let's talk to your dad first," I said.

"Just make me a dual citizen. Then I'll be an adult and can drive," she said.

"That works. What's your dream car?" I asked.

"A Jeep Wrangler. In Orange. It is a bright pumpkin. Maybe someday," she said.

"Got it," thought Phary. "Consider it done." Yeah Phary and I had gone private which we could do. It just hadn't occurred to me. It did bring up interesting questions.

What a tangent

Still Hunter. How this went from JJ Clothing to golfing in Dallas is confusing. OK not that confusing. This kind of thing happens to us.

The four of us showed up on time. It was entirely a coincidence that we were driving a brand new orange Jeep Wrangler that could fly. Well, it could. We went in and a man came from behind the bar to greet us. We saw the look in his eye. He recognized us.

"Would you prefer the bar or restaurant," he asked grabbing menus. I shared we needed a table for six as two others would be joining us.

Notwithstanding Cassiopeia's description it was a pretty nice place. It clearly had been a part of the community for a while and everyone we passed had a nice word for Tony or a pat on the back.

Just as got to our table Tony turned around. I could see he was startled, and I turned. There was an older gentleman behind the bar. Cassiopeia walked up.

"I called him in," said Cassiopeia. "You're joining us for dinner." With that she sat down and patted the seat at the head of the table. We all sat down including Tony.

"What is going on? Is everything OK? How do you know them? How can you call someone in?" asked Tony of Cassiopeia. She laughed.

"That's a lot of questions Dad," she said. She took a deep breath. "Lots is going on. Everything is just fine. I met them at the golf course. Because I own Murray's."

And she left it right there. I loved this girl's spunk.

"Perhaps we could start with that last one," said Tony quietly. Before Cassiopeia could answer, Phary handed her an envelope. Phary had a small stack of them.

Cassiopeia opened the envelope, let out a loud Yelp, and started bawling. The floodgates just opened. Sobbing, coughing, just crying away. Tony put his arm around her and glared at Phary. Phary smiled back at him and just waited for her to calm down. Cassiopeia pulled something out of the envelope and handed it to her dad.

Then he started crying.

WTF.

Finally he calmed down and held it up.

"Wait," he said suddenly stern. "Is this a fake?" Phary laughed and assured him it was quite real. It was his green card. He wasn't illegal anymore. Then Phary handed Cassiopeia another envelope. She pulled two passports. She opened the top one and just stared at Phary and then laughed. She handed the other one to her dad.

"So I can own the bar because I'm an adult," she said.

"What the hell," said Tony. "You're not an adult."

"Yeah I am. We are both dual citizens of Dionysus. I don't know why but we are," said Cassiopeia. That got her another envelope. This one surprised me.

It was an invitation to Golf School. The LPGA golf school. To get her tour card. Hell even I had to roll with that one. Phary quickly handed her another envelope. She pulled out a sheet of paper. I knew that one.

It was her class schedule at Dionysus Dallas. Yes. DDU. DUD just didn't work quite as well.

"So you're suggesting that she turn pro now and transfer to DDU and start college. You're saying with this paperwork she will have already graduated from high school. Do I have that right?" asked Tony.

Phary smiled and nodded and handed him the next envelope. He opened it and pulled out a set of keys and a garage remote. He was clearly confused.

"You bought us a house?" said Cassiopeia.

"Not exactly," said Tomas. "All the houses belong to the kingdom, but it is your house."

That got Cassiopeia the next envelope. She read the top paper and laughed. Phary handed her a pen and she signed it and handed it to her dad. He teared up again.

"You signed over the bar," he said. "Free and clear."

Phary had one last envelope. She handed it to Cassiopeia. She tore it open and car keys fell out. Jeep car keys. Cassiopeia looked up.

"In the parking lot?" she asked. Phary nodded again. I'm not sure Phary had said anything yet. She just kept nodding and kept handing out envelopes. Cassiopeia jumped up and let out a scream and ran towards the front door. We all followed but none faster than Tony. By the time we all got outside she was sitting in the driver's seat.

"It will be a while before you get to drive that," said Tony.

"You didn't look closely enough at the second class on my schedule. Driver's ed. I'm an adult remember?" she said.

"Let's go see your house," said Phary. She speaks!

"We will catch up," said Tomas. We got Pari and Phary loaded in the back with Tony driving and Cassiopeia riding shotgun.

"Wait," said Pari.

"You don't have your driver's license do you Tony?" asked Pari.

Tony sheepishly admitted he didn't.

"Out," said Pari. Tony was confused but got out. Pari pointed to the backseat. He got in and Pari climbed in the front.

"You're a little girl!" said Tony.

"I'm the Minister of Education for Dionysus," said Pari. "I'm just small."

Tony settled back and as soon as they were all strapped in, the car started floating up in the air. Just as it got up a bit we heard Pari again.

"I'm also 11 years old," she said, just as the car shot off.

This shit never gets old.

By the time they were across the parking lot, Tomas' F-81 drifted out of the sky. Customers in the parking lot just stared as we walked over and up the now open steps.

We beat Pari to the house. She had done a little sightseeing.

As they landed and got out I heard Tony.

"An F-81 on the front lawn. Does that stay with the house?" he asked laughing.

Just as he said it an E-82 drifted down next to it.

"No, but this does," said Pari. "That is both of your classes after driver's ed."

We went inside but Tony stopped us.

"Why would you do this for us?" asked Tony. "I don't get it at all."

"I'll take this," said Phary. "Because we can. We saw someone with incredible skills that lacked opportunity. You were both busting your ass so she could succeed and have every right to be proud. We are in a position to push you onto a different trajectory just like those planes out front can.

"This house is next door to my house. I'm a student here too," said Phary. "You're going to pay me back by playing a lot of rounds of golf with me. After one round I am officially addicted."

Cassiopeia whispered in her dad's ear.

"79!" he shouted. "On her first round ever! Can she do what you can do?"

"Probably. I'm sure they all can but none of them did any more than you or I do," said Cassiopeia. They turned back towards us and I had to laugh. Phary was sitting there crisscross. Four feet off the ground.

The fact that neither one of them reacted at all was interesting. Then Cassiopeia lifted her legs too.

Suddenly we were all floating in a circle. Her powers told us a lot. Cassiopeia started floating down the hall.

Towards the bedrooms.

Well we were on school property.

I give up on my post

Somehow that tangent entirely took over my post. Ruby here. The funny thing is that there really isn't that much more say. JJ has been an instant success. Simply a smash.

I never doubted it. I might have to talk to Mom though. I think Dad would be more useful as our clothing muse than as the MD of Alpha.

Maybe he can do both. Tomas and I took them out to dinner to celebrate. We went old school at the Island Grille. Then we spent the night at Gabe's house at the school.

Just the four of us. Mom and I put on quite a show for Tomas and Dad. Then the boys put on a show for us. Something about Dad pounding Tomas in the ass just really turns me on.

So much so that I moved into position to make it a train. Tomas feels so good in me. My man. When Mom slid underneath we were complete. Then we all came so hard that we had to sleep in a different room.

The bed was a mess. Darn it.

Right?

Maybe I'll come back to this. I'll certainly share more about Genevieve. Right now I need to sleep.

Are you limber enough?

Orlando here. Yeah, yeah, a long time.

Dad and I got into a discussion one day while lying on his back porch. The question was whether either of us could suck our own cock. Which is why Mom found us with our legs thrown over our heads trying.

We're just not a normal family. Not in any way.

The bad news was that neither one of us could do it, but we were close.

The good news was that Mom was naked and, well, we both had fun with her. She still had her cravings, you know. It was a multistep process though since we started with DP. Mom is so tiny, even after the twins. She sat down on my cock, facing my feet and laid back on my chest. Oh, I was in her ass. That left another spot for Dad. The nice thing about this position is that Dad can kiss both Mom and me. He's a damn good kisser too. This is a little bit of a tangent, but come on, Mom and Dad together? I ended up with much of his load on my cock and my face. He pumped out a lot. Yeah, a lot on Mom too. Tits to pussy. One of his favorites. We were about to dive into cleanup when Luke and Cassie walked out. Come on Luke, you're allowed to clean me up. Cassie could clean up Mom and Dad.

Oh no, Luke and I are both hard. What would we do, what would we do? OK, if you read the last paragraph and substitute Cassie for Mom and Luke for Dad, that's what we did. I loved that Cassie was in such a good place.

Back to the point of the post. It put us both on a quest. We started by increasing our yoga to work on our flexibility. We both asked friends if they could do it, and you know they all tried. The only two that we talked to that could were Gabe and Amai. Both already knew they could.

And that can't possibly surprise you.

In my infinite wisdom, I reached out to Heather. H2. Remember, she and Mom started a yoga class. Oh hell yes I was in it. So was Dad. Naked yoga with lots of sex was damn popular. Heather said she'd be happy to teach a class on specific yoga positions that would make our backs more limber. You know, so we could bend over and suck. People like Tim had an advantage. A longer cock.

She did suggest that everyone should come with a partner, because using a partner to help you bend and stretch the muscles and tendons would be helpful. OK, I guess. It was going to be an interesting conversation to have with Grace. Mom had heard the entire thing and couldn't stop laughing but did agree to go with Dad. None of us realized that Bill had come out onto the deck and heard it all.

"Really? Neither of you can do that?" said Bill. "Too bad for you." He wandered back inside. I think he just told us he could. If so, Jessica was probably helping.

Heather to the rescue

H2 here. Yes, I did laugh when Orlando asked, but hey, pleasure is pleasure. We put a very specific class on the website and surprise we had a waiting list. A long waiting list. Given we only taught it one night a week, they'd wait for a while. We posted a note suggesting that those on the waiting list get coaching from those in the class.

That could be fun.

Tonight was our first class. Their instincts were sound. Flipping your legs up and over was the most likely way to succeed, because the weight of your legs pulled your cock down. It wasn't the only exercise though. We started with ten men and their partners. That actually meant there were thirteen men, because three brought a partner with a cock. That was cheating the system a bit, but they'd really wanted their partner to help.

More power to them.

Yes Bob, Amy, Orlando, and Grace were in the class. Grace tells a hilarious story about how Orlando explained the class to her, but she was seriously all in and promised to really help. I think the idea turned her on. She said that when he was in that position, he was open for the double-ended dildo too. She'd made that his goal. Once he could reliably suck, she'd fuck him too.

Well sure.

I did appreciate her confidence though since she'd brought a dildo to the first class with her.

Guess what. She got to use it. It kind of stopped the class for a bit for everyone to watch. He flipped his legs over his shoulders and got so close. She slipped in with the dildo to a moan from damn near everyone, including Orlando.

Every time she pounded him, his cock slipped about two inches into his mouth. In and out. In and out. Both the dildo and his blowjob. Finally Grace just exploded and in the process leaned all her body weight into Orlando. That pushed him a solid four inches into his own mouth and then he exploded too. So much cum it leaked out the sides of his mouth. Grace pulled out and he flopped his legs down and I couldn't resist.

I went in for the kiss. Damn that was a lot of cum.

That I then passed to Grace. Fair is fair.

All six of the other women quickly went and got double-ended dildos. We had a lot of them in the wrestling rooms.

The other three brought another cock, remember? They had the equipment built in. Two men and one woman.

I think we invented a new partner yoga position. It was going to be a popular one. I'll pass the pen back to Bob.

I win! I win!

Bob here. Orlando wasn't the only one that succeeded that night. Yes, Amy used the dildo, but then Orlando and I realized we could pair up, so to speak. He just pounded me while I sucked myself. Amy and Grace just watched. If by watched you meant played with each other while they did. I had a nice view of them both while I was sucking myself and yes that sentence makes sense. I timed it just a touch wrong and instead of cumming in my own mouth I managed to give myself a facial.

Oh darn. Amy and Grace had to clean me up. Orlando wasn't done, so he fucked Grace while she did. Grace is truly a wonderful person and I'm so pleased for them both.

OK she's a sexy young thing too. I love that little gap between her teeth. Sexy AF.

You're outta here

Heather here. H2. I think I need to change my name. I made up a new rule that once you reliably succeeded in your goal, you know, blowing yourself, you were out of the class and someone else got your spot. The waiting list went pretty fast since most learned by the third night. You just know they were practicing at home too. I didn't say the waiting list got shorter though. Once word spread, everyone was signing up. I did think it was funny that in about half the cases, women were signing up their partner. It was sexy. Let's just say that H1 and I invited some of the class leaders to dinner. A lot. It was an interesting list to create. We had hundreds on the list so far. Oh, we invited their family too. It was funny, because sometimes it was a kid we invited, and their parents came and sometimes it was the other way around. Either way, we were getting one hell of a lot of good sex damn near every night. OK, we already were, but this was adding to our friends list in a good way.

And somehow watching a guy blowing himself was so damn sexy.

What could we teach next?

On live TV

Well, I did make the challenge. I did and now I have to do it and I'm only modestly freaked out, which is good. Sorry, this is Grace. I forgot this chapter got split.

Let me catch you back up. Do you remember when Orlando and I first performed in Hamilton? I'll bet you do. We did it a few more times and it was great fun. The reviews of our first time, though, included a critic from the NY Post that just hammered me and claimed that I was lip-syncing.

I was not lip-syncing.

She was a retired Broadway actress and not a hugely successful one. As in never made it out of the chorus.

So I called her out. A sing-off. If she wins, I offered to either gift her $10 million or donate it to charity. I'm guessing she'd take the cash, but hey, I would have too.

If she wins. Yeah, right. I wasn't fucking lip-syncing. I fucking won America's Got Talent when I was 12!

I admit that my normal singing voice, at least up to now, was a little breathy and lacked good diaphragm control. But not my shower voice! I love Orlando. I love that he pushed and prodded but left it to me.

We go on in 10. I admit I laugh that they basically made it a special episode of AGT. Same set. Same judges. The big difference is that they're going to tell us, live, what songs we have to sing. We can pass three times if we don't know, or want, the song.

I ain't gonna pass, baby. Come on. I'm a showtune queen. The songs have also been given difficulty factors, like diving, so you might do really well on an easy song and get beat by a mediocre performance of a difficult song.

Pretty simple.

Some of the songs are duos. We were allowed to bring a male voice to join us.

Guess who I brought. Guess.

Machine Gun Kelly.

Just kidding, I brought Orlando. Duh. The best musician I know.

Miracle brought someone. I don't know his name and I guess I feel a little bad, but be honest, another chorus level singer isn't that exciting.

We flipped a coin and I was going to pick first. They showed me the songs and then I accidentally made myself a video meme. I jumped up and down squealing.

Getting Married Today.

Considered one of the toughest songs on Broadway. Sung with a male partner. Now remember, this isn't just about the singing. Maybe I didn't mention that. You have to do it in character. In this case, the female singer basically goes mad as the song goes on.

I fucking love the song. The funny thing is that Orlando does too. We sing it all the time. We do. We'll be lying out on the deck, looking over the water, and burst into song.

She picked Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera. There is a reason the difficulty factor is lower. It's, well, pedestrian.

I picked first. She sings first.

I went and sat down and let her sing. She did a credible job. Credible isn't exactly a ringing endorsement.

There are actually three parts to our song, including a choir girl, which is a small part. We'd been warned to be prepared for this. We agonized. Gina was an obvious choice. So was Rachel. We finally settled on the strongest voice with, frankly, an unprecedented knowledge of Broadway songs.

Nan.

She comes over to the house all the time, just to sing this song. We'll trade parts. Honestly, she might be better at the lead on this one then me.

We came out on stage and Simon questioned us.

"You know this requires a third voice for Chorus Girl," he said, basically ignoring Nan's presence.

"We do," I said. "This is our friend, Nan. She'll do that part."

"What's your name, little girl?" asked Simon. Well, this should be interesting.

"My name is Nan," she said, softly. Really? Softly? Nan?

"And how old are you Nan?" asked Simon.

"6," she said.

"And you're comfortable with this?" asked Howie.

"Uh, sure," said Nan. "Not a big deal."

"So you're in what, first grade?" asked Heidi. Nan laughed out loud and turned to me.

"Do they really not know who the fuck I am?" asked Nan, of me.

I don't think the censors expected that. It made it over the air.

"Should we know who you are?" asked Howie.

Terry snorted. I like that Terry snorted.

Because we all waited him out. He laughed.

"Am I seriously the only person that knows that Nan has two Nobel prizes in Physics and invented interplanetary travel?" asked Terry.

Yeah, they all stared at him, but I gave Simon credit. He moved on.

"OK, let's get moving," he said. "Whenever you're ready."

We sang. We sang our hearts out. When we finished, we got a standing ovation.

Including from Miracle. Who the fuck is named Miracle? My opponent.

"I think we can all confidently say that I have no shot at recovering from that," said Miracle. "I apologize and will publish a retraction."

While that's nice and all, we've got a problem.

Almost forty-minutes of airtime.

Live.

"Let's go to commercial," said Simon.

"What the fuck do we do now?" asked Simon.

"We'll put on a show!" said Nan, laughing. "Glinda or Elphaba?" She said that to me.

"Your call," I said.

"I'll do Glinda," said Nan, with a glint in her eye.

"You guys know Defying Gravity, right?" said Nan, to the band.

"Yeah, but are you kidding us? You're doing Glinda?" said the band leader.

"You'll apologize when we're done," said Nan, and the band leader laughed.

"Go for it, Kristin," he said. If you're not familiar, that's a reference to Kristin Chenoweth, the original Glinda.

Me? I've got it easy. I'm Idina Menzel. Easier, right?

We sang. And sang.

The ovation was a nice touch. It finally settled down.

"Holy shit," said Simon. "I always knew you had potential Grace and am thrilled for your life and your talent, but holy shit, Nan. That was amazing."

"What would you like to hear? Challenge me," said Nan, with a smirk. "Test me."

"Emotions," said Simon.

"I'm surprised you didn't pick Fly like a Bird. It's more difficult," said Nan. "Then again, you jumped right to Mariah Carey and picked her second most difficult song." I am trying to suppress a laugh, just because I know how much Nan just loves singing Mariah Carey.

Orlando and I walked off stage and Nan took center stage, with a mic. Tiny little Nan.

I closed my eyes to listen. It's best way. Nan has this amazing ability to channel Mariah Carey but put her own imprint on it. I can predict the gist of what Simon will say.

Because I've seen it. Then I had an idea. I walked out, behind Nan and walked over to the bandleader. Nan winked at me.

"Roll into Hero and then Let It Be," I said. "Orlando will jump in on Let It Be." He just nodded. "If there is time, she does a mean Dream Lover."

He laughed and nodded and spread the word to the band. Then they fired it up.

I snuck back off stage. And closed my eyes. Orlando did too.

Emotions was, well, emotional. It was fucking incredible. There is a five octave range in the song. I can't do it. Orlando can, but not in this range. It is hard to believe out of that little body. It came to an end and the band kept going into Hero. Flawless. Orlando leaned over.

"Do I need to run out for Let It Be?" he asked, and I nodded. That got me a big smile, but he pulled back. Just slightly too late. Now he's out there singing with Nan and I am just vibrating through an orgasm. Which Terry and Heidi noticed. I just smiled. What could I do? I'm pretty sure they were both jealous.

As it wound down, Nan clearly thought she was done.

She was not. Right into Dream Lover.

At the end, they went to commercial.

"Are you human?" asked Simon.

"Maybe," said Nan.

"Maybe?" asked Simon.

"I'm 6. I have two Nobel prizes. I've been on over 50 different planets. So, maybe," said Nan.

Now that is something I have never seen. Ever.

Simon was speechless.

We only have a few minutes, and I wanted to do something, so I waved Miracle out with me.

"Miracle, I want to thank you for doing this with me," I said, on camera. "I had fun and I hope you did too."

"Sure, I love getting my ass kicked," she said laughing. "Then again, Nan kicked yours."

"That she did," I said. "Do you have a favorite charity?"

"I don't have much to give, but what I give, I give to the ACLU," she said.

"OK," I said. "In the spirit of doing good things in the world, we're going to make a donation to the ACLU in your name."

"Thank you," she said. "I am sure they will appreciate anything you can give."

I just smiled a nodded.

And the show was over.

"I didn't want to ask on camera, but can I ask how much you donated?" asked Miracle. Simon had walked up and was listening too.

"$100 million," I said. They both just stared. Nan walked over.

"And I matched it," said Nan.

"Me too," said Orlando.

"You all have $100 million to donate," asked Simon. I admit, we all laughed.

"Do you have a favorite charity Simon?" I asked.

"The Musicians Foundation," he said.

"A good cause," said Nan. "$300 million to them too." Nan went and asked each judge their favorite charity. That made six donations. Orlando was on his phone and once they were done, he nodded.

"OK," said Nan. "All done."

"Surely you didn't give $300 million to six different charities," said Heidi.

"Yes," I said. "We did. From you. Please don't mention us. We don't need or want the publicity."

"Almost $2 billion," said Simon. Nan just shrugged.

"Happy to do it," said Nan.

The bandleader walked up and complimented us all but was effusive with Nan.

"Do you have a recording contract?" he said. "We can connect you with people."

Nan just pointed to Orlando and everyone laughed.

"Point taken," he said.

"But I just sing for fun," said Nan. "I'm not doing an album."

"Do it for charity," said Terry.

"Shit," said Nan, to laughter from us all. She turned to Orlando and nodded.

Orlando did a little happy dance. He isn't very good at it. The night wound down and the three of us went out for a late dinner.

Then back to our suite at the Four Seasons.

All three of us. Yeah, yeah, I'm over 18.

Orlando isn't. I'm happy to share.

And I learned four new things. Nan is powerful in other ways too. The day she turns 9 might be the biggest party in history.

"You know it, baby," said Nan. Which didn't come out quite as cool as she hoped, given the whole 6-year-old thing.

I didn't mind losing, so to speak, to Nan. Nan is special. In so many ways.

About my new job

Erin here. WTF. WTAF. IBM? Bob made a joke about it in my interview. Hell yes I remember. Good grief. I'm fucking 9.

And pretty damn good at actual fucking. You know what they say. Practice makes perfect.

And I practice a lot. Of course time with Bob is transcendent, but I have so many wonderful friends. Friends that Fuck. Friends with Benefits is so wishy-washy.

FTF is slowly replacing FWB. It's just more honest.

I do enjoy time with my brother, particularly since he went to class. Earl went from, well, not great, to exceptional. Not transcendent. Yet.

He practices a lot too.

Today is Monday. The beginning of my first full week at IBM. I spent the weekend moving into my new house. Bob came and went house-hunting with me. I'm sure you don't want to hear about that.

Yeah, that made me laugh too. I'll back up and go on a tangent.

Bob arrived Friday afternoon and when I got back to my corporate apartment, he was making dinner. I had no idea what it is.

"Osso Bucco," said Bob. "Stone Barrington makes it all the time, so I taught myself how. Lamb shanks over rice. I added a side of roasted Brussel sprouts."

"I love Brussel sprouts!" I shouted, and Bob just smiled at me.

"I don't own that many work dresses, Bob," I said. "Now I have quite possibly ruined this one." It was quite a squirt. Bob's smile is damn powerful.

He just shrugged and we both laughed.

"How did you know I love Brussel sprouts?" I asked. He just shrugged.

"I'm going to love Osso Bucco, aren't I?" I said. He shrugged again and took off his t-shirt.

So I pulled my dress over my head. He has cargo shorts left. I have panties.

I don't exactly need a bra. The funny thing is that I may go through life without ever wearing one. They're not really a thing for us. Oh wait, I will someday wear a leather bra with nipple cutouts.

That's when Bob handed me a small gift box. I opened it.

It is a leather bra and panty set. Crotchless and with nipple holes.

And a small crop.

I moaned. He moaned.

That's when he dropped his cargo shorts.

Well I had to take off my panties, right?

I didn't put on the new outfit yet. Hey, dinner was ready. We're naked. Bob's hard. Seems like the perfect dinner attire.

You're picturing it too. Big strong, hard Bob. Little flat me.

Now add the leather outfit. Sexy, huh?

We sat down and had the nicest dinner. Bob rolls through coach, a little parenting, and lover all quite well. He is also fucking gorgeous. But what makes me love him, and everyone else love him, is his intensity. Not overall. In you. In what you're saying. What you're feeling. I don't know what they teach when you're getting your counseling degree, but if they're not studying Bob, then they don't understand anything.

For example, and I think it is a good one, I am freaking 9-years-old, living by myself in Armonk, New York, and about to start my second week as the CEO of IBM. That should be simply overwhelming me. But it is not. Do you understand why? Because Bob believes I can do it.

And I believe in Bob.

So he is buying me a house. Sorry, that was a segue into this weekend, but for now, dinner is over.

Hell yes I put on the outfit. I realized there was more at the bottom of the box.

I pulled out the ball gag and nipple clamps. Bob is clearly surprised.

"I didn't put that in there," said Bob, clearly with a little trepidation. A piece of paper fell out of the box.

"Put him in his place," said Pari, in the note.

Bob didn't know about this part, but I did. You see, just then, Pari walked in, wearing the same outfit.

"Kneel," she said, in a stern voice. Bob dropped to his knees and I did too.

"Not you," she said, laughing. "We're the doms."

I jumped back up.

"Then you should be clearer," I said. "This was your mistake. On your knees."

And she did it! I took the crop out of her hand and walked behind her. There was a knife still on the table, so I grabbed it. I pulled back the tiny leather strap around Pari's neck and cut it, followed by the remaining strap.

The bra fell off on to the floor.

"On your knees," I said. I realized I hadn't been clear. "Both of you."

"Nice save," said Bob. I cut the sides of Pari's panties, and they fell to the floor too.

Somehow I have become the dom.

"You know I've never done this," I said.

"We'll help you," said Bob.

"Silence!" I said and swatted him across the back. He jumped a bit.

"You had asked us a question," said Bob.

"Oh, yeah, good point," I said. I don't know if I did a good job or not, but I didn't draw any blood. It was so damn much fun. We just wore Bob out, but it sure didn't slow Pari and me down.

Damn she's smoking.

At the office

OK, the actual reason for this post. So far the job is going OK. I had to laugh because the engineering leads keep testing me. They're absolutely convinced that I don't know shit.

I do know shit. Well, not shit, but you know what I mean. I want the company to succeed, but good grief they're so damn far behind. We can dominate the market without sharing everything we do. Frankly, the rest of the world isn't ready for it.

At all.

Today's meeting is with the Quantum engineering team. Just three engineers. Alani, Tessa, and Sheldon. Two women and a man, which I admit, surprised me. I also expected him to dominate, but that wasn't the case.

That is Tessa.

Now I haven't played with any of them and likely won't. I haven't played much at work. OK, LD and Kali, but that's usually at their house. It's moved slowly here, although we have had some people enjoying themselves.

We'll get there. It is funny that schools get there quickly, but businesses don't. The schools are led to the promised land by the children.

Yeah, that sounded as bad as it did in my head while I wrote it.

So back to the meeting. We're sitting in my conference room. The four of us. Just the four of us. Sheldon has a bemused expression but is attentive. Alani's look is neutral, but focused.

Tessa's hot. Not in the sexy as hell way, which she is. In the about ready to explode way.

She's going to be really fun. I'm going to give her rope. And more rope. And a little more rope.

We'll see. Maybe I'm misreading them. I'd read their files, of course, and all have the right resume. Top schools. Brilliant. All have multiple patents. They're a super star group and Alani is the oldest at 28.

How would I know that? Why the fuck wouldn't I? We don't make decisions on it, but it is useful information. I can't imagine having this job under US rules.

Then again, I'm not old enough to hold a job under US rules. I could not get a New York work permit. There are no exceptions.

It's a stupid law.

"Let's start with introductions," I said. "Alani, why don't you start, and we can run around the table and I'll finish."

"I'm Alani. I've been with the company for three years and started in the internship program," she said. "I have my undergrad from Cornell and my masters and PhD from MIT."

"Great, thank you," I said. "Tessa?"

"My name is Tessa. I've been here two years," she said, with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. "All three degrees from Harvey Mudd."

"A fine school," I said. Well, it is.

"Sheldon?" I added.

"I've been here five years, I have my undergrad from Duke, my master's from Stanford, and three PhDs from NYU. It was convenient."

Given Sheldon is 24, that's pretty impressive.

"What about you, Erin?" said Tessa. "Catch us up on your background."

"Sure," I said. You have to love our school system and our impact on other school systems.

"I have two bachelor's from Harvard," I said. "My first master's was from Harvard as well, but my second was from the University of Madrid. My PhDs are a little broader. Oxford, Tokyo, and Tsinghua."

"You have three PhDs," she said, clearly startled.

"For now," I said. "I'll finish up a couple more this month."

Now they just stared.

"Tsinghua only teaches in Mandarin," said Sheldon.

"I know," I said.

"Tokyo only reaches in Japanese," said Alani.

"Kind of stating the obvious there, folks," I said. "Madrid was in Spanish. I speak over 65 languages, so it wasn't that big of a stretch."

Way to casually mention you're a hyperpolyglot, which is a cool term for somebody that knows way too many languages and applies to any of our students that are at least 2nd graders.

It's kind of diluted the coolness of the word. Hyperpolyglot. OK, still cool.

"Let's put it right out on the table," I said. "You underestimated me. You saw a little girl and thought you'd overwhelm her with your knowledge and experience. You didn't. You need to take this to heart as a learning experience. The absolute smartest people I know are all considered children in your world and many of them are younger than me."

"Younger than you," snorted Tessa.

"So you're my skeptic?" I said. "Luca, Tegan, Natalie, Ty, Bill, Jessica. I don't even have to use last names. Oh, did I mention Nan?"

Tessa deflated a little. Not a lot.

"So the anomalies have gravitated to your culture," said Tessa.

"How the fuck would someone gravitate to our culture?" I said. "It's not like a 5-year-old can request to immigrate. They're all freaking smart. Every single one. The median age of students at Harvard is now 8. That includes the medical school. You're missing the point completely."

Just then the door opened. I couldn't have timed it better.

"Hi," she said. "Sorry I'm late. Security didn't want to let me up." She came and sat next to me.

"Really?" I thought, to her.

"Sure," she thought. "They'll underestimate me even more." Given she's wearing a romper and French braided pigtails, I'd say it will work. I looked at each of them. Alani and Tessa were giving her a look of confusion. Tessa added in a layer of condescension.

Sheldon knows who she is.

"My name is Rylee," she said.

Alani knows now. Sheldon knows. "Why don't we skip passed the intros, which I'm sure you've already done. Let's work through some of this and we can talk more at lunch," said Rylee. "Erin's going to jump in, but I'll lead the discussion. We're going to brief you on our Quantum computing tech. Honestly, we're not giving you even close to our best stuff. We're not comfortable releasing it out into the world yet. If we consider what you're doing Gen 1, we're going to jump you to Gen 3."

"You think you have Quantum tech two full generations ahead of us," said Alani. Rylee laughed.

"I know we have Quantum tech at least ten full generations ahead of you. We're sharing two generations forward," said Rylee.

Tessa rolled her eyes.

"How many Qubits?" asked Tessa.

"We both know that is an inferior measurement," said Rylee. "Essentially useless. I understand you have 256-Qubit designs on the table. What we'll share today will take you to 12,288."

"Over twelve thousand Qubits" said Sheldon, sitting up straight and leaning over the table.

"Yeah," said Rylee. "Honestly, you don't have the ability to build anything better. Your manufacturing abilities are limited by gravity. Ours are not."

"You make your computers in space?" said Alani. Tessa is still dismissive.

"Sure," said Rylee. "That's why I was a little late. I had a brain freeze and forgot the positioning of the manufacturing facility versus here. It added about 15 minutes to come around the world."

Now all three of them were staring.

"Whatcha staring at?" said Rylee. Then she grabbed her own tits and squeezed them.

"It's the tits, isn't it?" said Rylee. "I think I have nice tits."

Well she does have nice tits.

"Don't I have nice tits, Erin?" said Rylee. Oh hell, this is fun.

"Very nice tits," I said. "And big sensitive nipples."

Then I waited. It was Alani that caught it first or was willing to say it first.

"You know that her nipples are not only big, but sensitive?" said Alani. "I cannot believe I just asked that question of our CEO." Rylee and I laughed.

"Hers are sensitive too," said Rylee. "And we'll test that again tonight. Erin, I brought Chip and Horacio."

"Good choices," I said.

"Good choices?" asked Tessa. "She brought you two random men? Aren't you 9?"

"They're not random men," I said. "They're friends."

"That are going to fuck you," said Alani, startling herself by asking.

"Oh yeah," I said.

"They'll fuck me too," said Rylee. "And each other."

Yeah, she went there.

"Then again, we'll use a double-ended dildo, so it is only fair," said Rylee.

"Who the hell are you again?" said Tessa.

"Seriously?" said Rylee. "Do you live in a cave? I'm not trying to be immodest, but I own a heck of a lot of the world's companies. Erin and I co-own this one. It's a pretty big list. Banks, insurance companies. Name a company and the odds are better than even that I own a part of it and a friend from Dionysus, like Erin, owns the rest."

"Facebook, Microsoft, and Oracle," rattled off Tessa.

"Sure," said Rylee. "Don't forget Alphabet. Again, what rock do you live under?"

"Let's get down the business," I said. I reached under the table and pulled out three boxes and handed them across the table.

"The specifications you need are loaded on to these tablets," said Rylee. "I'm going to walk you through the basics. You each have your own lab. We're going to fund all three of you building a prototype, independently. It should be a good learning experience."

"Tablets?" asked Tessa, holding up the box. They're about half the size of the box an old school iPhone comes in.

"Sure," said Rylee. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and yes, all women's clothes in Dionysus have pockets. It is a thing.

Then she started unfolding it. They all stared. Sheldon broke from it first and had his out of the box and unfolded pretty quickly. The others followed.

"That's the fastest boot, I have ever seen," he said. "And it is so thin. Is it wireless charging?"

"It doesn't reboot," said Rylee. "It was turned on at the factory. It never turns off."

"You must have to charge it constantly," said Alani. Rylee shook her head no.

"It never needs to be charged. It is ion-powered. It even sucks a little CO2 out of the air all the time," said Rylee. "Then again, so do my earrings. Hers too."

There are those stares again.

"Stop being startled or this is going to be challenging," said Rylee. "Put aside anything you know about what is possible, because it doesn't stretch you enough."

They were struggling. Really struggling. Sheldon was farther along, but this was confusing, and we get it. He had clearly found the specs and was looking at them.

"Sub-micron? Seriously?" said Sheldon. "And if I am understanding this, it is self-healing and can literally grow new circuits over time?"

"Yeah," said Rylee. Well, they're still startled.

"OK, let's shake you past all of this being incomprehensible," said Rylee. "Come with me. You want to come Erin?"

"Sure," I said. I didn't ask where because I know where I'd take them. I'd put money on it.

We walked out the front door and sitting in the turnaround was an S-88.

"You parked it in the turnaround?" I said and Rylee laughed.

"I was late," she said. "I should have just jumped."

"Jumped?" asked Alani.

"You'll see," said Rylee. We all got on board. This is one of the models doesn't have a cockpit. Just a comfortable seating arrangement. I like it. Rylee went up and sat in the pilot's seat and out of habit I sat in the co-pilot's seat.

"Now why did I do that," she said. She got up and sat on an empty couch and I sat next to her. It's not huge, but comfortable.

"Alexa," said Rylee. "Clear windows."

The entire top have of the plane turned transparent. People stared.

"Alexa," said Rylee. "Nibiru one." Exactly what I expected. One is the shortcut for the family home.

The view changed and we could see the house on the lake and the weird colors. They really are weird.

"Is the entire roof and wall an LCD panel?" asked Sheldon.

"Yes," said Rylee. "But right now it is clear."

"You know," I said. "This will be the first time I've ever been here with clothes on."

"Yeah," said Rylee. "I'm not breaking the streak. That could be bad luck." She stood up and shimmied out of her romper.

Well, the four moans were encouraging. Yeah, one of them was me. Rylee laughed and shook her breasts at us.

"You're not just breaking your streak," said Rylee. "You're breaking everyone's streak. Every single person that has been on this planet took off their clothes."

Wow. And I know some of the people that have been on the planet.

"Well we can't have that" said Alani. She pulled off her shirt and bra and stood and shimmied out of her pants and underwear.

"Should I leave on the shoes?" she asked, and Rylee shook her head no and she kicked them off.

"There is no pressure," I said. "This is just silly fun. Feel free to stay clothed." The fact that I said that while undressing might not have been sending a coordinated message. I only had on a sundress, so I just dropped it.

OK, the four moans are a compliment. I could tell Sheldon was considering it.

It was Tessa that surprised me. Naked as the day she was born. Sheldon laughed and undressed.

Yeah, he got four moans too. Thin and wiry. A thick 10-inch (25.5 cm) uncut cock.

"Damn," said Alani. "I'd love some of that."

"You would?" said Sheldon, a little shyly.

"Dude, if you have it in you, you can fuck all four of us in a row and then do it again," said Rylee.

"Yeah," I said. "For sure."

Alani and Tessa just nodded.

"It would get us past some of this uncomfortable stage," said Rylee, which made Sheldon grin really big.

Rylee led us outside and pushed Sheldon back onto the amazing grass.

"May I please?" asked Rylee.

"Absolutely anything you want," said Sheldon. Given Rylee is standing over him and his view is her open pussy and her amazing breasts, it was a surprisingly coherent answer.

With that, she sat down on his cock and sighed.

"Too bad we don't have more cock," said Alani, which got her a moan from Tessa.

Wanting to keep our detour manageable, I altered the game a bit.

"First cock choice from Dionysus," I said. "Go."

"Orlando," said Alani, without hesitation.

"Luca," said Tessa. "But they're both underage."

"We're on another planet," I said. "Pretty sure the rules follow ours."

Somehow, through all this, that was what made them realize we were not on Earth.

"Another planet?" squeaked Tessa.

I just nodded.

"Did you not notice the blue grass?" asked Rylee.

Tessa just shrugged.

We spent a fun afternoon playing in the water, going out on the boat and, most of all, fucking. Lots and lots of fucking.

Orlando and Luca joined us. We offered Sheldon the same opportunity, but he laughed and said he thought we'd wear him out just fine. We did, although his stamina was impressive.

We headed back. Tomorrow they can setup their labs.

"You really are ten generations ahead, aren't you?" said Sheldon.

"We took you to another planet for a fun filled afternoon," said Rylee. "Do I really need to answer that question?"

More later.

A fucking Tony

OK, in this journal that title might have a totally different meaning. We should have awards. The King Bobs. No, that's bad. Anyway. This is Jain. Tonight I am going to the Tony award ceremony at Radio City Musical Hall. Me. I'm going to the Tonys. A dream come true.

Can we just skip the part where I am nominated in two categories? I love doing the musical. Billy Elliott, but you probably remembered that. Or maybe not. Who knows? This is nuts.

I am nominated for the freaking Best Lead Performance in a Musical. Me. Freaking me. I'm also nominated for Best Newcomer. Both are just bullshit. The musical is popular, my story is unusual, I got nominated. I'll enjoy the evening, meet some people, and go home honored to have been nominated.

Right?

Now, a minor gets two extra tickets, with the expectation that they bring their parents. I had a long discussion about this with Mom and Dad. You may remember Ruby mentioned them. Carson and Kaitlynn. Hey, she promised to tell the story of meeting them and she said it with a big smile.

My parents? With Ruby?

I admit, I could see it. They're happy and they have a healthy sex life. No, I don't know that in the kids watch a lot way of Dionysus. I know it because I know what those squeaks of their bedframe mean. Mom moans, too.

Well she does. I admit, I've jacked off to the mental image a bit. Mom and Dad are smoking. They are! Maybe I'll ask Ruby. Do you think I could invite them to a consulate?

Picture me in the middle of a train. Hey, I like the idea, but might be off-topic.

Right now, I'm thinking about how amazing they are. This could have all freaked them out, but they're happy I am with LD and Kali. You see I am at the Tonys with LD and Kali. I love how everyone thinks it is sweet that I came with my sister and her boyfriend. I think I freaked out the People magazine reporter on the red carpet. After the typical rags to riches story questions, she made a comment.

"It is so sweet that you brought your sister and her boyfriend. She must really support you," she said.

Which is when both LD and Kali put their arms on my shoulders. We had discussed this at length and all agreed.

"While your comment is technically true," I said. "I came to the event with my fiancées. We're to be married soon." And then we walked on.

It'll be interesting to see how that plays out.

This whole thing is a little overwhelming. We were early enough to mingle a little in the lobby. People kept coming up to introduce themselves. Famous people. Theater people. People I have admired for years. They kept coming up to tell me I was a lock in both categories.

Sweet, but psycho, quoting a little Ava Max.

I got a hug from Lady Gaga!

OK, I like Lady Gaga.

"Have you ever considered a collaboration?" asked Lady Gaga. "I have a song that would be perfect for us."

"Me?" I squeaked. Yes, squeaked. I'm 11. I still squeak when I am excited. She laughed.

"You are so innocent," laughed Lady Gaga. "Although, I overheard your parting comment to People. Maybe not quite so innocent. I'll have my people call your people, as they say."

"I don't have people," I said, and she laughed again.

"Then I'll just call Orlando," she said. "He'll make it happen. He's producing my next album, so we're doing it in Robertville."

The fact that all four of us moaned a little might imply something. The lights flashed, so we all headed to our seats.

I have a seat on the aisle. I have a freaking seat on the aisle.

"You have a seat on the aisle," commented LD. "Wow."

For those of you not aware, they reserve the aisle seats for people they think have a shot at winning an award. It kind of makes sense because they won't have to climb over people.

Grace has the seat right in front of me. She turned around.

"They wasted an aisle on me," she said. "Good luck." Yes, I am up against Grace in both categories. In the Best Lead category, Orlando is nominated too!

He'll have to climb over Grace. That's what I expect. Grace wins Best Newcomer and Orlando wins Best Lead. Did anyone ever mention that they did the roles several more times? Now it is a coincidence, because they really were just helping out, but they did it enough to be eligible for the nominations.

Which they'll win.

Oh boy. Best Newcomer. They're announcing the nominees. Smile nicely, Jain, you're going to be on camera. There I am. Nice shot, with my fiancées. Oh, that's how they list them in the caption. It is showing on a huge monitor.

The collective gasp implies they all read the caption.

Holy shit. They just read my name. Kali is pushing me.

Fuck. I didn't prepare anything. Why the fuck would I prepare anything? I walked up onto the stage and who but Lady Gaga would hand me the statue.

I turned to the audience. This is where you expected me to freeze, right? It is where I expected me to freeze.

But I didn't.

"I am totally unprepared. I am a kid who got a dream opportunity to play a part on Broadway for one matinee. That's it," I said. "I have so many people to thank. My parents. My loving fiancées. Ruby. But there is one thank you that really comes into play. I'd like to thank Karma. I don't know what I have done in my life or what I will do to deserve this but thank you."

I started to head off stage, but Lady Gaga blocked my way. She leaned in and whispered.

"Shallow?" she asked. I have no idea why she asked which duet I prefer.

"Anything Goes," I said. It is my favorite. With Tony Bennett. She took my hand and pulled me the other way, back onto the stage. Back past the podium.

To a grand piano. Backed by an entire brass section.

Oh hell no.

"Do you know it well enough?" she whispered.

"Oh yeah," I said, laughing.

I sang and sang. I don't really know any other way to do it. I kind of imagine myself in the shower, but I have to be careful, because I tend to associate the shower with masturbating, or at least I did. Now I'm singing and thinking about a shower with Lady Gaga.

And now I am hard on national TV.

I became a meme. Then a caption contest. You know. Things like:

What the hell is he pointing at

Whatever is in that direction must be exciting

So I started responding with a score on each caption.

Sorry, tangent. Maybe I'll come back to that though.

To my surprise, we got a standing ovation. Maybe it was my hardon. It didn't help that at the end she hugged me.

And the entire audience saw my cock bounce. A little embarrassing. No, a lot embarrassing.

I barely got back to my seat and sat down when my name was called again.

Holy shit. Everyone is patting me on the back and pushing me. This time it is Idina Menzel presenting the award. A hero of mine. Holy shit. Yeah, I know, I said that. She handed me the statue and pointed to the podium.

"Well, I didn't expect to get up here once, let alone twice," I said. "I am no better prepared this time, but I guess what I want to do is apologize. There are hundreds of hard working actors that deserve this more than I do. They've been working tirelessly for years to reach the pinnacle of their careers. That is who this Tony belongs to, not me. I'm lucky. I got a chance and had fun and am blessed. But this award in no way reflects the reality of theater. To the actors and the set builders and everyone involved in the complex production of a musical, this is for you and I thank you."

Shit. They're out of their seats. Clapping. At what I said. I am sure my look is shock. Idina came up and gave me a hug and things settled down. She turned to me and said something to me, on mic. I hadn't quite focused yet and she laughed and repeated it.

"So what are we going to sing?" she said. I don't know what came over me, but it is my favorite duet in all of theater. It is also a bitch to sing.

"Beneath a Moonless Sky," I said.

"Andrew Lloyd Webber? That song?" she said. "That song is a bitch to sing. But I am game if you are."

Yes, bitch made it through the censor. Sorry.

We went back out onto stage and let me tell you the adrenaline is flowing. It is a really romantic scene. I hope I did it justice.

I've never seen a 15-minute ovation before.

Still fucking embarrassed.

I had to laugh that the official after party is at the Dionysus New York Four Seasons. Orlando and Grace were the only attendees of the actual Tony event, but lots and lots of Dionysusians will be at the after party. I have no idea if Dionysusians is a word, but you got my point. Orlando and Grace are the official hosts, but I know Bob and Amy are going to be there, plus all their kids, plus most of the inner circle. It's a big party. We decided to walk, and Grace and Kali are prepared, having worn flats. We walked out front and there was a big crowd, including a lot of kids. Many were holding pads and pens.

"You know that's for you, dude," said Orlando. I just stared at him.

"Huh?" I said, ever the loquacious one.

"The kids. You're their hero. They want your autograph," said Grace. We walked over and they were right. Me? Me!

WTAF.

I signed and signed and took selfies and so did Orlando and Grace. After about 45 minutes, Orlando waved the crowd to silence.

"I'm sorry, but Jain has to be at an after party," said Orlando. "For anyone that is interested, there will be a meet and greet tomorrow, starting at 9 am at the Four Seasons. Jain will be there along with many of the royal family of Dionysus. We'll have breakfast for everyone. Feel free to spread the word."

With that, we headed to the Four Seasons.

"None of that is planned, is it?" said Grace, to Orlando, who was sending a text.

"Of course," said Orlando. "Everything is underway."

"Who did you text?" asked Grace.

"Jessica," said Orlando.

"Then it will be done," said Grace. In her Princess voice. I've only heard it one other time and there was a whip in her hand. That's a tangent for the ages.

People that saw us were honking and rolling down their windows and yelling congratulations. We got to the hotel and then everyone in the lobby, including the staff, gave me an ovation. This is a little confusing. The manager of the hotel came and introduced himself.

"Let me lead the way," he said, and proceeded to do just that. He turned to Orlando as we walked.

"I spoke to Princess Jessica," he said. "Everything is underway for tomorrow. Do you anticipate just breakfast, or should we plan on lunch?"

"I have absolutely no idea if a single person will show up," said Orlando. "Or half of New York will show up. Somewhere between those two."

"Thank you, that's helpful," he said, so sincerely.

Then we all laughed. We got to the ballroom and there were more cheers when I walked in. I wasn't there ten seconds before Andrew Lloyd Webber walked up and introduced himself to Kali, LD, and me.

Then he hugged Grace and Orlando.

I think they know everyone here. Orlando laughed.

"Close," said Orlando. That's when Beyonce walked up and hugged them both too. Jay Z is with her. Jay Z does not look happy.

As they turned to leave, Beyonce looked over her shoulder at Orlando.

"Lunch Tuesday?" asked Beyonce. "I want to learn more about OMG."

Huh? Orlando Musical Group. OMG. Beyonce. Hold up.

"Is she considering moving to you producing?" I asked. "From Jay Z? Her husband?"

"All I know is that I'm having lunch with Beyonce," said Orlando. "I'm happy with that by itself."

Well sure. More happened, but I'll come back to it.

I promised I'd come back to this

Meming me. I did interact with people that shared it. I kept voting on the captions. I really got caught up in messaging back and forth with a young woman, Lenore. All I know is that she is 10.

"Could we grab a coffee sometime?" typed Lenore.

"You know I'm engaged, right?" I replied. "I think it is fairly common knowledge."

"And that does not in any way preclude you from having coffee with me or fucking me afterwards, now does it?" she messaged.

"Point taken," I typed. "You do know I could be some chubby 50-year-old guy right? You shouldn't do this, as much as it does interest me."

"This is why I like you," she typed. "You're willing to pass up the best fuck of your life to keep the person you would be fucking safe."

"And that sentence made sense," she added. Yes it did.

"I'll meet you at 11:30 on Saturday morning on a bench facing the Non-violence sculpture at the UN Plaza," she typed. "Get there early. If I see you alone, and feel safe, I'll come sit down. If that goes well, my parents will come over and meet you. You need their approval."

"And do they know your intentions?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied. "I tell my parents everything. They live vicariously through me. If only I went to one of your schools."

"Not my schools," I said. "But I get your point."

"You're a Dionysus citizen, right?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Your schools," she said. "One of many. In your culture it is all yours. Back to the plan. If I understand correctly, there are a number of places nearby owned by the royal family where we could probably find a bed and probably even more fun people. Right?"

"Yes," I said. "And your parents are OK with it?"

"Yes, but they're jealous," she wrote, and even added LOL.

"Bring them along," I said. "There will be plenty of people for them to play with."

There was a long pause before she replied. Shit. Did I just fuck up?

Finally. Is she blowing me off now?

"They would like that," she said. "Sorry for the delay. Trying to decide if I should ask this. You see, as much bullshit as I laid on you, I'm a virgin. I'm ready and don't have someone in my life. I really admire you and am hopeful you'll be my first. I decided I needed to be honest. But I'd be more comfortable with them in the room."

"Listen," I said. "I'm honored and yes, I'm happy to be your first. We call them whisperers. Someone who can make your first special. If you want your parents there, that's great. We call them a coach. Someone to help you. Although it works better if someone gets you off repeatedly first. Usually that is the coaches, or you can ask for someone else."

"You'd be OK with them going down on me?" asked Lenore.

"Stop asking questions like that," I said. "They're totally unnecessary in our world. You do what you want. If someone is uncomfortable, they'll tell you. Honesty is a thing here. You can also change your mind at any time. You only get one first time. Is there anyone you know of you'd like to have join us?"

"Just you," she said, with a dazzling smile. This is where that entire storyline fades. Privacy for her first time. Let's just say that it was the first of many.

That day.

Email me. Comments, ideas, and suggestions welcome

End of Chapter