25 July 2022

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Email me. Comments, ideas, and suggestions welcome

I love email. If you give me a story line, I'll name a character after you. I really need ideas for fun situations. Get it?

We're going racin'

Morgan here. It's been so long since I wrote a journal entry. Life has been simply crazy. Sophia's running around the world running the wine business and so much more and I took over Hayden International, the primary charity now. Running a US-based charity was just too complicated, so we based this charity in Dionysus.

For fun, I started to hold races on the track on Aether, the airport island. Remember? The exact duplicate of Nürburgring. The 'ring. We ran races right after class on Saturdays and sometimes asked the best students to join. You never knew who would show up to race. Fly in, race, have lunch, have fun, go back. Carlina, Elena, Ruby, Charlotte, Orlando, and I raced the most often, but Leslie, Chris, and Mom joined in a lot. Oh, Leo raced every weekend. He told me he felt so much more alive now. We all had fun. Yeah, the racing, but remember, he has the thickest cock we've ever seen and knows how to use it. I know Amara loved meeting him and the feeling was mutual. Oh, you're worried about Tavi? Don't. Leo liked to be in the middle of a train with Tavi in the back. Yep. They had to work around Amara's limitations, but they made it work.

So anyway, we were excited because tomorrow was the first day we were going to run our new IndyCars. They latest model and they'd just arrived. Depending on how we did, pretty quickly, I was going to field a team. A big team. A team of six. Marco was coaching me on running the team. To thank him, we'd run Andretti colors with our logo. All the Hayden entities shared the overall logo, which was simply a stylized H, inside a ring of kid's hands. Hands of every color. Right?

We'd run St. Pete first because we could go home and see everyone. I'd already been talking to IndyCar, and they were balking over Ruby and Elena, but particularly Carlina. How silly. They really, really wanted me to race. They were digging their heels. Getting them to agree to Nan was a non-starter.

Finally they caved. I'd sent them the purchase order for six new F1 cars. They are incredibly competitive with F1, or thought they were. It gave me an idea, but I'll come back to that. Oh, I still ordered the F1 cars.

I'll let Carlina tell the story of our arrival in St. Pete.

Heading home

Carlina here. What a hoot that was. I would tell you the story of the flight over, but it was too short to do all that much. We had a good sized group, since we were going home for many of the people. Chris, Noah, and Rylee. Leslie, Hunter, and Hallie. Gabe and Luca. Tegan couldn't come. Ruby was stag for some reason. Charlotte had Oliver, Morgan had Sophia and Elena. Not sure where Nick was.

Oh, and, of course, the leaders of our tribe, Bob and Amy.

Our trouble started at customs in St. Pete. Everyone on the plane had a US passport except Charlotte, Oliver, and me. Those two had Canadian passports. No problems at all. The race cars in the hold threw them, too.

Then they got to me. I only have a Dionysus passport. The fact that they had never heard of the country, which was amazing, combined with the fact that I was an 10-year-old traveling alone with this large group, put them into panic mode. True panic mode. I don't think it helped that the number of kids was high, the number of adults was low, and Ruby, Gabe and others didn't have parents along. They struggled with Sophia and Morgan being Luca and Elena's moms, too, but I think they were just homophobic on that one. They sure did leer a lot though, at all of us, including Elena and me. So they were pervs, too. Oh, forgot, the fact that my passport listed me as married to Gabe, which our passports do, sent them stratospheric.

They kept bringing people onto the plane and wouldn't let us off. Finally Amy jumped in. We had finally figured out they thought that Bob and Amy were human traffickers. Oh.

"Listen. You're confused and we get it. Why don't you call social services and ask that a case worker come out? They'll be able to quickly clear this up," said Queen Amy. Yeah, they didn't believe the Queen shit either. Seriously? We were in a luxury C-112. Before we come back to my part of the story, I'll pass the pen to Amy, because she was clearly up to something.

Amy is always up to something

Amy here. I was trying not to get pissed and have everyone arrested. After all, the GFP was consulate property. They were in my fucking country. As fun as that would have been, it wouldn't get us off this plane, so I took another tack. While Bob was talking to them I texted Vicky. You'll have to reach way back in your memory. Vicky was our case worker when we adopted Morgan, Orlando, and Leslie. Six years ago. I can't believe I am saying that. Leslie is older than Morgan was then. Morgan had a serious stick up her ass, but thankfully we helped her pull it out. And replaced it with more pleasant things. Anyway, our circumstances with Vicky started out rough, but ended up in a good place. She suggested this plan and made sure she'd be the one to take the call. We'd kept in touch and had lunch regularly when we were in town, so this wasn't a years ago wild stab at a solution.

We were at an impasse, so we decided to have lunch. Sure, we had Chinese delivered. After all, we own a nice Chinese place. They were nice enough to bring it to the airport. There was some confusion as customs didn't want to let them onboard, until we told them we'd ordered enough for them, too. Confuse them with good Chinese food. That's the plan. I admit it did seem to calm them a bit. We were almost done when Vicky arrived. I made her a plate while she talked to them. It did seem to be making a difference, but shit, they were still not letting us in. We could always just take off and land at our airport, but we were trying to do things right. That screwed us. We were at an impasse.

"My turn," said Chris. She got out her phone and dialed a number. Did they not recognize the retired President? Weird.

"Chris Hayden for the President," said Chris, into her phone. She waited a bit and then we all heard her explaining the problem to Kyrsten. Why didn't I think of that? Just then, she set her phone down and pressed the speaker button.

"Can the customs agents hear me?" said Kyrsten in that speaker phone voice. Clearly unmistakable though. Their eyes all got big, and Chris had to say that they could.

"I sincerely appreciate your efforts, as misguided as they were. Everyone on that airplane is a member of the Dionysus royal family, including the King and Queen. Yes, most of them are dual citizens, but your lack of understanding of a new country, that has been in the press repeatedly for years, is inexcusable. In addition, the young woman who called me is Chris Hayden. Surely even you know the significance of that name," said Kyrsten. What little bit of cockiness that might have been left was lost when they understood the significance of Chris' name. Within five minutes, our plane was clear of everyone except Vicky. I'll pass this back to Carlina.

Enthralled with power

Sure, I'll take it back. I am still enthralled with the power of this family. It gets me wet, you know. Anyway, once everyone was gone, Elena wanted to thank Vicky. She leaned down and Elena kissed her. I guess Elena forgot we weren't on Dionysus because it was a pretty passionate kiss. I guess we are in Dionysus. She still realized it quickly, but before Elena could do anything, Vicky swept her off the ground into her arms and kissed her back. I saw her tongue touch Elena's lips and she opened up. She was holding Elena firmly by her ass cheeks, and rubbing them, which I am sure felt nice, but then she shifted one hand a little and started rubbing her pussy. Elena moaned, which just seemed to turn her on more.

Things, um, evolved from there. All I remembered was being on the floor, on my side, in a nice 69 while somebody fucked me. I don't even know who, other than it wasn't Gabe because he was fucking Vicky. I looked around and it was just too confusing because there was a lot of fucking and sucking going on. Sort of a spontaneous orgy. Whoever it was had skills, and when they filled me up, Ruby licked it all right back out. I couldn't stop cumming.

We did hurry though since it was late. Only one cum per cock.

Racing is my thang

Morgan here. I'll take it back for a bit because racing is my thang. You read that as thang, didn't you? We tipped the truck drivers that transported the cars to St. Pete heavily. They'd had to wait over two hours before we could unload. Oh, we fed them Chinese, too. Come on. You knew that. Oh, we sent them on before the little orgy. I suppose they would be disappointed if they knew.

We flew to the house. I couldn't even exactly remember the last time I was there. Juan and Sofia were there, with their kids, Valeria, Pedro, and Maria. Oh God, Valeria got me going. Remember, they lived at the house now, and Juan and Sofia ran the place. All I know is that Valeria was in our bed tonight. But we'd need some cock. I'll think on that. Oh yeah, Valeria spent most of her time with Orlando and Grace now, being married and all, but still. Remember, even Grace mentioned my, um, interest in Valeria. Their being married didn't slow anything down.

The delay had messed us up, so we had to grab what we needed and head right to St. Pete. We had gotten smart and ensured we had a landing spot right near the garages, so we could fly down directly. Fuck traffic. Carlina and Elena wanted to fly, so I sat in the back with everyone else. We all changed into our driving suits and when we landed Carlina and Elena quickly changed. The rest of us just watched the quick striptease. OK, they only got down to panties and camisoles, but that was sexy as hell. Tonight. Oh yeah.

You're assuming a helicopter, aren't you? Nope. An E-82.

That we brought with us. In the C-112.

I do miss helicopters. There was one time in a helicopter...

We all piled out and the six of us headed straight to the drivers meeting. As we got close, no one glanced twice at Charlotte, Orlando, or me. Hell, security even recognized me, but he stopped the little guys. You know, the 10 and 14-year-old girls that looked so damn cute in their fire suits. Or should I call her Dr. Elena. She looks even cuter in scrubs. I can't forget 14-year-old Ruby. You know. The owner of Costco. And Target. And Inditex. And more.

"Sorry, girls, driver's only, even if you are wearing cute suits," said the security dude. Well, let's be honest, who could blame him. I suspect Jay, the CEO of IndyCars was waiting for us, because he quickly came up and ensured we all got in. I got a lot of hugs and Orlando got a lot of handshakes. Charlotte walked around and introduced herself, being the outgoing girl she is.

Just then the littles walked in. Yes, yes, we called them the littles and they took it well.

"Morgan, come on," said one of the drivers I consider my friend. "You can't be serious. Hell, I was one of your early supporters, but really? How the hell old are they? Or are you punking us?" Jay waved us all up to the front.

"Yes, everyone, what you're seeing seems off the charts weird. It even did to us," said Jay. "We decided we had to let them try to qualify though because Morgan told us if they didn't, they'd move to Formula 1, even her." Yeah, the crowd reacted to that. I did run F1 but drove more IndyCar races. I like everyone. Just then Ruby walked up to the front and asked for the mic. Go, Ruby.

"My name is Ruby," she said. "My two friends are Elena and Carlina." They waved their hands when their names were called.

"We're taking all bets. One thousand dollars each, at 2:1 odds. Our best time beats yours, you donate $1000 to Hayden International, which you all know Morgan runs. Your best time beats ours, we give you $2000 cash or donate it to your favorite charity. These are one on one bets. If you want to bet against all three of us, you're donating $3,000 to Hayden. Oh, and you will. We will take bets from any and all drivers," said Ruby.

One of the drivers laughed and shouted out "Like you little girls have money to pay off those bets, Ruby." Oh, he was rude when he said Ruby. He grinned when all of us, including Ruby laughed. He thought he'd hit the mark. Elena hopped up.

"Dude, what are you smoking? We're running a six driver team without a single sponsor. We're doing it because we love it. That girl you just insulted, Ruby, personally owns Inditex, the largest clothing company in the world. She is also the chairperson of both Costco and Target. You must live under a BIG rock," said Elena.

"Now me, I'm just a doctor. I'm the senior attending physician in the ER. At the largest hospital in Athens Greece. That I own. I'm 14. Now, are you going to take the damn bet? I'm willing to make it $10K against $50K. Just you and me. Right now," added Elena. "Jay, can we have the track? One on one. 10 laps. Oh, and I haven't even walked the track yet. Doesn't matter. I'll still smoke your stank ass."

OMG. From the mouths of an 14-year-old, all in the sexiest damn Italian accent. The room went nuts. The guy who made the rude comment was in a bind. He'd been called out by that 14-year-old and the President of IndyCar was letting her do it. He was giving her the track.

He stammered for a bit but finally stood up, puffed out his chest and announced "you're on. No fucking way you can beat me, little girl." Yeah, he spit out little girl.

Carlina jumped up.

"I'm in, too. $10K against my $50K. You're in too, right, Ruby?" said Carlina. Ruby just smiled and nodded. Now the guy was on the hook for $30K. Against three little girls. The meeting broke up and we all headed to the pits. Our cars were in place, in anticipation of practice. Jay followed us.

"OK, here's how it is going to work. One lap out of the pits, race starts when you cross the start finish line. We're sending a pace car out with you. Have fun and may the best driver win," said Jay. Just then we heard the track announcer over the speaker system. He was telling the crowd that they were going to see an unexpected 10-lap race for charity. He explained that three young rookies had challenged a veteran and put their $150K against his $30K that they'd all beat him. The crowd erupted. No pressure, dick. We were all laughing. Maybe he'd beat one of them, but I doubt it. They'd be racing each other. The girls were hyped. Seriously hyped. I'm betting their panties were soaked. Mine were. They even graciously offered him the pole position.

It wouldn't matter.

Ruby lined up next to him, with Elena behind him and Carlina next to her. They looked so fucking tiny because they were. They all made a point of shaking his hand before they got in the car. Ruby, Elena, Carlina. Height order. Carlina looked so little next to him. They were making a point, pretty dramatically. The pace car got into position and off they went.

They came around after the first lap and approached the start finish line and the pace car pulled off. They were fucking on it. At the first turn, he braked, and they didn't. They passed him in the first turn. He was stuck behind all three of them. I suspect they'd decided their finish order, as they lined up Elena, Ruby, Carlina. You go, girls. Down the next small straight, he drafted them, but at that corner, they took a line he just flat couldn't do. He swung wide and lost the draft. From that point on, they just pulled away. Farther and farther. After five laps, they had a solid half lap lead. At 10, they crossed the finish line about 200 yards behind him. He was finishing his 9th lap.

They fucking toasted him. They didn't just play to win. They played to embarrass. No, I doubt that. They just don't know how to drive anything but their best. It would have been fun if they'd actually competed. I suspect they would have pushed just a little more and lapped him again. Who would have won would have been a complete toss-up.

If all this sounds familiar, it should. These girls were strong young women. They are the future and I love it.

They all pulled into the pits and the crowd, which is huge for qualifications, erupted. The girls got out and stood next to each other and bowed. Then they each made a point of shaking his hand. Carlina went last and pulled him down and said something to him. He smiled, really big. She didn't tell him... No, as it turns out she didn't. Hell, the smile would have been bigger. He walked over and asked for the mic.

"Hi, everyone. You know who I am, but now I'm the veteran that got his ass smoked by three young women. There's a story behind this race. In the driver's meeting, I doubted them, and I was pretty public about it. I have a daughter about their age and one thing I should have known is that powerful young women do not like it when you disrespect them. In my case, they fought back behind the wheel and for that, they have my respect and my apology," he said. "Full disclosure, Carlina, who is the littlest one, told me that if I publicly apologized, they would pay the $30K I owe them to my favorite charity. Now, I appreciate that, but won't let them do it. Or, more accurately, they're welcome to do it, I'm just donating, too. What's particularly embarrassing is that I know exactly who Ruby is but was just too stupid to make the connection. Ruby, come over here please." With that, Ruby stood next to him.

"As it turns out, my favorite charity is The Juanita Fund. It was started in honor of the athletic director at my son's high school, several years ago. That poor man was literally run out of town because he came out and admitted he felt more like a woman than a man. He went through hell, no, she went through hell, and it made me sad. What I didn't connect was that the young woman named Juanita is Ruby's older sister. If you haven't seen the video Ruby made, when she was nine, then you need to go check it out. TheJuanitaFund.com - all one word. I have donated, as I could, and today I will be donating $30K in honor of these young women, who taught me a lesson. I encourage all of you to check it out and open your heart if you can."

Yeah, by the time he was done, we were all crying, including him. I suspect there was something more personal to that story than just his kid being a student in the high school, but that was none of our business. Ruby grabbed the mic.

"We really do appreciate the donation and win or lose, we will make our bet as a donation, too. $150K. Too many lives are being lost to violence against people that just want to live their life. I am hopeful and happy that it seems to be just slightly better than a few years ago, but still pretty bad. Maybe it would help if I gave my sister a hug right now," she said. What? Just then I saw Juanita walk up. I'll be damned. She picked up Ruby and gave her a huge hug to a thundering ovation from the entire crowd. She set Ruby down and went over and gave just as big a hug to the losing driver. They stood together, holding hands, and crying for a moment. Just then, we heard the announcer say it was time for open practice and qualifying. Get it together, team!

Before we could get out the track, Jay pulled me to the side.

"Your team is going to dominate, aren't they? 1-6. Am I wrong?" asked Jay, looking a little concerned. I gave him my biggest smile.

"Three of our drivers have never been in a race before. Do you honestly believe they're all three going to be in the top six?", I asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Yeah, me too," I said, with a laugh. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Sadly, yes. You have no sponsors. The series succeeds because of sponsors. If all the spots all year are dominated by you, the sponsors will drop out," he said. Oh, yeah, that's an issue. But simple to solve.

"OK, we should have had this conversation before. Let me qualify. You get a meeting together with your top sponsors for immediately after practice. I'll bring my team. I have the simple solution and it should be a win-win-win for us, you, and them. Do you trust me?" I asked. He smiled and nodded, and I ran over to my car. My teammates were already on the track.

You know, for some reason, the littles didn't get nearly as much shit in the post qualifying meeting. Do you think it had to do with our team having the top six spots on the grid, and there being almost 15 seconds between our slowest driver and the next fastest? We qualified me, Orlando, Ruby, Charlotte, Carlina, Elena. Oh, Carlina walked into the drivers meeting giving Elena a raft of shit. Elena gave as good as she got. They were loud, profane, and pointed. The entire room broke up. Marco Andretti and Graham Rahal walked up to them.

"You bicker as much as we do," said Marco. "It's hilarious. Great driving out there everyone. I'm not embarrassed to be behind any of you on the grid."

"Me neither," said Graham. "That was some amazing driving. If I didn't know better, I'd think you girls were at least 15." OK, that cracked us all up. The meeting ended and Jay cleared the room and brought in the key sponsor reps. Companies like Verizon and NAPA auto parts. All in, there were at least a dozen reps. Jay turned it over to me.

"My name is Morgan, although I suspect that all of you know that" I said. Yeah, that got a laugh. "Does everyone in the room know my teammates or should we do introductions?" They wanted introductions, but honestly, given that we'd all changed, and the girls were in cheer shorts and tight tank tops, I think they just wanted to ogle. Yeah, let'em. Charlotte, in particular, looked good because her tank top was both too small and too tight. I think she was getting off on it a bit, because I'm pretty sure that's a wet spot I see. I know it was on Elena's shorts. Later, Morgan, later.

"How many of you have an interest in sponsoring our cars?" I asked. Every hand in the room shot up.

"How many of you can make that decision here, right now, and have your logos on our car tonight?" I asked. To my surprise, every hand but one went up.

"OK, here's the plan. We don't want or need your money, but our charities do. You are going to get the opportunity to both sponsor our cars and talk publicly about your donation to charity. You have your choice of three charities. Our preference, as it has the most global reach, is Hayden International. If you prefer a US approach, then the original Hayden Foundation. The third choice you all heard early today is the Juanita Fund. Now, actually, if your company is comfortable with it, that's our preference, but that is really your choice," I said. "Any questions on that part?" There were a few minor ones, mostly focused on payment, but we made that easy. The big question was cost.

"Now, cost is easy," I said. "We're going to have an auction, for each driver. We're going to start with Charlotte. Now, no offense to Charlotte because she is an amazing driver, but we recognize she is, well, normal, which means the bidding might be lower. Let's face it, one of these fresh faced young women would look stunning in your ad campaign, now wouldn't it? Just keep in mind, ad campaigns cost extra. Oh, one important fact. Charlotte is Canadian, so that should appeal to some of you."

To my surprise, and Charlotte's, bidding was spirited. Once we were done, we took a short break and Jay pulled me to the side.

"That's the highest amount any sponsor pays," he said. Really? "Twenty percent goes to IndyCars, so thank you."

"Just wait," I said. "Just wait."

We put Orlando up next, and he was pretty famous, so his bidding eclipsed Charlotte's. I thought Jay was going to faint. I went next and barely eked out more than Orlando. I was a better known driver, which worked against me. It was getting late by then, so we put Ruby and Elena up as a package. Oh my God. You would have thought they got to sleep with them, given the bidding. It was astronomical. Finally there was a winner and I think Jay did pass out briefly. Just kidding. Maybe.

Last up, we had saved Carlina. She is 10 years old, cute AF, and a potty mouth. There was not a person in this room that, given the opportunity, wouldn't do her, on the floor, in front of everyone. You could see it in their eyes. A strong willed, powerful, sexy as hell 10-year-old that was strutting it a bit is a powerful force. Thank God for us that she had turned 9.

Oh yeah, she set a record that would be tough to ever break. Finally the meeting broke up and they sent people to logo up the cars. I'd arranged a cookout at our garage and invited everyone. The evening was great fun and as we walked over, we invited every driver and their team that we passed. Yeah, I'd made sure there was enough and yeah it was prime rib and lobster. What is the point of being rich beyond belief if you didn't share lobster with everyone?

A big raft of shit

Elena here. We're back at the house now. That was hilarious and Carlina won't stop giving us shit about her bid. We'll see tomorrow during the race. We'll see. OK, that was probably a risky position because she had as good a chance at winning as I did. With our group, any given day. Morgan and Orlando were the favorites, but the rest of us practiced more now. As mentioned, it was a big group. I could tell you about the fun games we played or this or that, but honestly, I was horny. I was finding every available cock and sitting on it. I was licking every pussy, too. There were a lot of choices, and I was going after them all.

Bob had invited everyone we knew in Florida to the house. There were a lot of people which meant a lot of cocks. I'd lived here for a couple years so I knew lot of them but not all of them. I did know the cock I wanted first and he wasn't that hard to find. He's tall and he's black and he stands out in a crowd.

Tim. I needed his BBC. I saw him across the room talking to someone I didn't know. I walked up and got a big smile from him. I didn't even say hi. I just started unbuckling his pants. Oh, he let me. The woman he was talking to helped and got his shirt off.

I would find out her name was Nicole and she worked for Curt at the furniture store after Tim vigorously fucked me, and Nicole sat right down on my face. Oh God, it was glorious. Yes, I had a wet spot. I was horny all damn day. Did I mention that Nick joined in? Yes, he's here now for the race.

Oh, and Carlina won the race. She was going to be hell for a few weeks. At least I came in second.

I fucking won

Yes I fucking did. You know this is Carlina. I fucking won. The race was today, and we were at Bob and Amy's new house. The party was even bigger. All of us that drove were incredibly hyped. Read that as incredibly horny. I was going to do it. I was. I'm 10 years old now. I can do it. I walked over to climb up on the table just as Elena jumped on it.

"I declare a gang bang," yelled Elena and the crowd shouted back.

Fuck. That's what I was going to do. Fuck. Should I? Would I?

Was I going to preempt? That's a lot of cocks in my ass. I love that, but that's a lot of cocks in my ass. Elena came over to me.

"I am so sorry. You were going to call one, weren't you? You won. It should be yours. I'll pass it to you," she said. I thought about it for a minute. Elena didn't get enough action. She was so busy and didn't live on the island.

"No," I said. "You deserve it. You called it."

"How about this," said Elena. "They're supposed to go through twice, right? Let's split the line and they can switch lines after their first time. We each get them all once. If we do it on the double lounge, we can make out, too."

Well that seemed like an excellent plan, now didn't it? Given there were 42 cocks in the room, just one time was going to work out just fine.

And fine it was.

I want to know

I do. I'm nosy. I admit it. This is Ruby. I was going to say that you probably figured that out, but we're all nosy. Kind of our thing.

I wanted to know the story of driver and son. There is a story there. I did a little homework and found out that he and his son were staying a couple extra days at the Sand Pearl. We love the Sand Pearl.

We own the Sand Pearl. I found his number and invited them to breakfast at the Clear Sky Cafe next door. Hell, I would have gone to the Clear Sky by myself. Their French toast is amazing. Their hash browns with onions rival Waffle House, which for hash browns is high praise. I know my hash browns. A little more homework said his son, Brent, is at USF in pre-med. Cool. The dad's name is Warner. I got there a few minutes early and walked up to find them waiting outside. I think they were a little confused when the hostess saw me and immediately seated us at a prime table.

"Why did they seat us?" asked Brent. "A lot of other people were in line ahead of us."

"Shit," I said, standing up. "Come on. Back outside." I walked over to the hostess.

"I appreciate what you did, but don't. Put us back at the end of the line. We don't cut the line. You'll see a lot of our family in here and just treat us like anyone else, OK?" I said. She started to freak out, particularly since the manager walked up.

"Is there a problem, Ruby?" she said. Of course I know her. I love the Clear Sky.

"Nothing at all. Just complimenting Brinley on how efficient she is," I said. Hey, I can read a name tag.

"Just make sure you don't jump the line for anyone from Dionysus," said the manager, to Brinley. "They don't like it." She laughed. I laughed. Brinley just looked a little stricken.

That's when the manager laughed even harder.

"Sorry, Ruby, entirely my bad. I coach the hostesses on that one, but Brinley is brand new, and I completely forgot," said the manager.

"What do you think, Brinley, should I fire her?" I asked, with a smile. Now Brinley looks really stricken. Oops.

"She's kidding," said the manager. "You are kidding, right?"

I just looked at her. Waited her out. She smiled again.

"We'll go with kidding," said the manager. "Do you want to do it again?" I laughed.

"Sure," I said. "It's fun." The manager turned to Brinley.

"Tell the waitresses that there are no checks. Just collect them all. They'll know why. They've all been through it before," said the manager. Brinley looked confused.

"Ruby is paying for everyone," said the manager. "And she tips well. The staff will love it. How long?"

"All day," I said. "Or until someone spills."

What I meant was the waitress will tell the customers to not talk about it. If they do, it stops for everyone else. So far, I've done this quite a few times and no one has ever messed it up.

"Did you just comp every bill, all day?" said Brent.

"Yep," I said. I introduced Brent to Brinley. There seemed to be some sparks. Why not. I could tell Brent was really shy. Wait. Oh. Got it.

Brent doesn't have an Adam's apple. Now that's not conclusive, but it is indicative.

Me being me, I threw it right out there.

"You should ask Brinley out Brent," I said. "There seemed to be some sparks. It's a bit of a hike from USF but not that bad." Before you assume I was stalking them, Brent had shared he was at USF.

"I couldn't do that," he said, softly.

"Dude, are you sure she would care that your anatomy is a little different?" I said. "You're a man."

Brent and Warner just stared at me.

"How did you?" said Brent. Then he trailed off. He looked entirely dejected.

"Do you know anything about me?" I asked. Brent brightened a little and shared a little about what he knew.

"You're missing the important part. The shit that went down in Ocala affected me, too. Our lives fucking fell apart. We ended up in a shithole apartment in Tampa, in a dangerous part of town, and it was only time before I was going to get raped again," I said. "But Bob and Amy saved us. The person I am now is because that Bob and Amy, and by extension, all of Dionysus does not give a shit that you were born with a vagina. Seriously. We don't. You know our culture, but what you don't know is how much we value people that have accepted their dysphoria."

"Tits and a cock," he said, softly, and I laughed.

"Yes, for sure," I said. "But it goes both ways. We literally don't give a shit about it. It's not being accepting, although we are. It is that we all know it is normal. It is our normal." Just then Brinley walked up and handed Brent a small piece of paper. She started to walk away and then turned back.

"You know I don't care that you were born a girl, right?" said Brinley. "I like boys and girls. You're a boy. We can make up for the physical differences with some very fine toys."

Then she walked away, back to the hostess podium.

Both Brent and Warren were just staring at me.

"She knew, too!" said Brent.

"Brent, more people know than you realize. You don't have an Adam's apple. While not impossible for a man, it is quite rare," I said.

"But people at school are nice to me," said Brent. "They can't know."

"They can't," he said, softly.

"Dude, if you lived in our culture, we'd be next door in a fierce 69 and Warren would probably take turns fucking us both," I said. "The world is growing up. It's not perfect and too many people that don't understand haven't come around, but we're getting there. Hell, Juanita is one of the most respected coaches in the NBA. Her players simply love working with her."

"Can we back up to the whole Dad fucking me thing?" said Brent, with just a hint of lust.

"Not my business in any way, but you're over eighteen," I said. "Enjoy yourselves."

"You're weird, Ruby," said Warren.

"Not really," I said. "I'm weird in this stunted culture. I'm normal in our world."

Time to change the subject.

"What's your dream medical school?" I asked. Brent smiled.

"I've applied at USF," said Brent. "I'm hoping I'll make it."

"Is USF your dream school?" I asked.

"I'll answer that after my date with Brinley," he said, with a smile.

"Hey, Brinley," I kind of shouted. She walked back over.

"What are you studying?" I asked and she smiled.

"Pre-med," she said.

"And you go to our school?" I asked and she smiled and nodded. A guess, but the signals were there.

"What's your dream medical school?" I asked.

"Dionysus Bahamas," she said. "It's the highest rated medical school in warm weather. I'm a Florida girl." I could see the look of shock on Brent's face.

"Was it your real first choice, too?" I asked and Brent vigorously nodded, but there was a subtext. We'll see where that goes.

"Have you both taken the MCAT yet?" I asked and they both nodded.

"Scores?" I asked. They both looked embarrassed.

"You don't have to tell me, but I do have a reason for asking," I said.

"528," they both answered. She said it under her breath, but she said it. Even Warren caught it. I waited. Oh how I waited. Brinley smiled and leaned over and gave Brent one hell of a kiss. As in Brent rolled through an orgasm. Quietly, which impressed me.

"So you're both finishing up in just a few weeks," I said.

"I already have," said Brinley. "I got accepted. I move to Nassau in a few weeks."

"Isn't it handy that Brent got accepted, too?" I said. Brinley just glowed.

"Very handy," she said. Now that is a guttural voice.

"Now that's just bullshit," said Brent. "I never even applied."

"What?" said Warren. "Why didn't you apply?"

"Because the Bahamas is a place where people wear bathing suits. I'm a guy with tits. How is that going to work?" asked Brent.

I think the fact that Brinley and I both moaned confused him. The fact that his Dad moaned really confused him.

"You wear board shorts, like everyone else," I said, leaving it at that.

"Just letting my C cups hang out there," he said. Yeah, moaned again.

"Shit, you're binding them that much?" I said. "That's not safe. It's also uncomfortable as hell." Brent fidgeted a little and finally admitted it was.

"Dude, you can go to USF. With a 528, you know you're in," I said. "But you'll love it at one of our schools. Brinley's not going to expect monogamy. Not even when you get married. You'll be popular as fuck."

"When we get married?" asked Brent. "Aren't you jumping the gun a bit?"

"No, she isn't," said Brinley. She managed to drop another octave.

"You are new at your job and leave in three weeks?" asked Warren. Brinley laughed.

"I'm just helping out," said Brinley. "The manager is my mom."

"Then firing her would kind have sucked," I said, which broke everyone up. By now it was almost 10, so the crowds had thinned. The timing was perfect. The manager just walked by.

"Dinah, can you live without Brinley?" I asked. "I need her for the day. Or two. Or ten." Dinah laughed.

"Sure," said Dinah.

"What's the plan?" said Brinley, sitting in the empty seat.

"We're going to find the two of you a place to stay in the Bahamas," I said.

"So you already have us getting married, but you're also having us move in together before our first date," said Brent.

"What happened when Brinley kissed you?" I asked, and Brent blushed.

"It pushed me over," he said. "Quickly."

I didn't say anything else.

"Sorry to break up your time together, Warren, but I'm taking Brent," I said. "I comped your rooms and everything else, so stay as long as you want." Dinah swung by again and it hit me.

"I'll have a table for you two at the Island Grille at 7," I said, as we got up to leave.

"You and Warren, Dinah," I said. They both looked at each other. Their smiles gave them away.

I'm shouting a bit today, but I called over to Gracen, the assistant manager.

"Hey, Gracen, Dinah's taking an unexpected vacation for a couple weeks, you're in charge," I said. I turned back to Dinah and Warren.

"Shoo," I said. "Go next door. Spend the afternoon in bed."

They walked out, holding hands.

"My dad hasn't been on a date in at least ten years," said Brent.

"Get used to it," I said. "Your mother-in-law is also going to be your step-mom."

"You know this," asked Brinley. I just smiled and nodded.

"You're weird, Ruby," said Brent.

"More than you can imagine," I said.

I am so confused

This is Brent. I wrote this in my journal, but Ruby suggested I share it. Then she gave me access to the journal to read.

Hot damn. But it really did show how they value everyone.

Somehow I am in a space plane flying to the Bahamas with Brinley, who I just met, have not been on a date with, and am marrying. We're meeting someone named Maisie. Apparently she can help us find an apartment. I am just going to roll with it. Ruby already told us we could always say no.

We landed in the yard of a huge home on the water. Good God, it is nice. A young couple walked out, holding hands. They were both wearing swimsuits. OK, bottoms. The young woman, who is fucking stunning, was topless. Hey, I like tits. I even like my tits.

Brinley gasped and muttered "oh shit" under her breath. The young woman heard it and laughed.

"We don't bite," she said. "Unless you want us to. My name is Elena, and this is my husband, Nick."

I laughed a little.

"I completely misread your ages," I said. Everyone but me laughed.

"Not you didn't," said Nick. "I'm 13 and Elena is 14."

"He's not finishing the story," said Brinley. "This is their home. Elena is the Chief Medical Officer for all of Dionysus. She either owns, or someone that reports to her owns, all the hospitals and medical schools. She is also a world-renowned surgeon. Nick runs the hospital system, the Medical School, and the University of Bahamas. Oh, and the entire school system of the Bahamas."

"You people are weird," I said, with a smile.

"We've got mad skills, too," said Elena, giving me a just killer smile. Just then a car landed in the driveway.

A car landed. OK, I've seen JetsonCars and even been in one, but this was a Bentley SUV. That flies. A stunning woman got out, wearing khaki shorts and a bikini top that was both too small and slightly sheer. Given she has D cup breasts, it is gravity defying. I think she caught me staring.

"Don't worry, they're just as firm without the bikini top," she said. "Maybe you can both play with them later."

"Not today, Maisie," said Ruby. "Tonight is their night."

"Then maybe tomorrow," she said, with a smile. I came so close. What is it with these people?

"OK," said Maisie. "I had my orders. I've found just a few choices using your parameters. The best are on Paradise Island, but I assume they'll both have cars that can fly?"

"Yes," said Ruby, Elena, and Nick. All at once. Ruby yelled out "jinx" with such glee.

OMG. Right here on the lawn. They not only kissed, and it was spectacular, but I also just watched Ruby give Nick a blowjob. Then she offered to kiss some of his cum to both Brinley and me.

Which we both liked.

"So how old are you, Brinley?" asked Elena. Brinley laughed.

"It's the lack of tits, isn't it?" said Brinley. "I'm tall for my age, so most people assume my age from context, but you didn't."

"No, none of that," said Elena. "I have no idea how old you are. It was a curiosity question. Do you go to our schools?" Brinley nodded and Elena laughed.

"Had I been aware of that, my guess might have been different," said Elena. She cocked her head and looked Brinley up and down.

"I'll guess, but it would be a more informed guess if you were naked," said Elena.

And now Brinley is naked. And freaking gorgeous. Truly stunning. She is pretty flat, but it is so sexy. She is so sexy. She even waxes. Not a hair.

"No I don't," she said to me.

"Am I that transparent or can you read my mind?" I asked.

"I can read your mind," she said, but without moving her lips.

"Can I read yours?" I thought. Just thought.

"Of course, that's how you're hearing me," she thought. Ruby explained, after I wrote this, that they just say thought because almost everyone I meet can do it, particularly with their soulmate.

"Educated guess, but I'd say 11," said Elena.

"How did you know?" said Brinley. "Most people guess lower when they see my lack of pussy hair."

"Do a lot of people see you naked?" I asked. Now the entire freaking group said yes. Brinley was quick to get it out.

So I got to see Brinley kiss every one of them. Elena, Nick, Maisie, Ruby.

Then she turned to me.

"You need a good kiss, too, pookie," she said.

When I woke up they said I'd been out for over five minutes. From a kiss. Now my shorts are simply soaked. Everyone had to notice.

Maybe even more when Brinley pulled off my shorts. To a chorus of moans. From everyone. Then she pulled off my shirt and unbound my breasts. More moaning.

"You all moaned. Because I have a pussy," I said.

"No," said Nick. "Not at all. You're very beautiful, but an innie versus an outie doesn't define your gender. You do. We moaned because you are simply sexy as hell."

"Hold up," said Maisie. "I just realized. They've never been together?"

I am pretty sure I blushed.

"Shit, screw house hunting. I'll be back in two hours," said Maisie. "Give them a room."

"Two hours?" I squeaked.

"We'll make do," said Brinley. "We'll have more time tonight." She took my hand and Elena led the way inside and to a bedroom.

I'm not comfortable yet putting in all the details, but I learned things. A lot of things. There was an entire toy closet!

Which is also when Brinley learned I was a virgin. She was so damn sweet about it. I love her.

So much. Brinley made us save a half-hour for a shower. It was barely enough time. She shampooed my hair, and I did hers.

I've never felt loved like this before. Oh my Dad does, but this is different. She led me, naked, down a hall to a giant room full of clothes. She took me over to an entire section that had men's clothes in my size, plus sports bras in my size.

"You shouldn't bind at all. The shirts are a little over large and a decent sports bra will get you the desired effect," said Brinley. She handed me one and it was the softest, most amazing material.

We walked back out, holding hands, just as Maisie's Bentley landed again. Ruby, Nick, and Elena were waiting, too.

"You have cum on your cheek, Elena," said Brinley. Elena laughed and just turned so that cheek was forward.

And Brinley licked it off. And kissed it to me.

"You know, dear," said Brinley, to me. To me! "You really should experience a cock in a safe environment. I'm sure that Nick would be more than willing, and I'd be there with you."

Given Nick just got hard, I'd say he was willing.

"But he's married to Elena," I said.

"I can join in too, if that helps?" said Elena. Brinley started laughing.

"You should see your expression. I get it. Nick and Elena are smoking," said Brinley. "We need to talk about the difference between sex and love." She proceeded to explain it. In detail. Graphic detail.

"OK," I said.

"Is that OK you think it is a good thing, OK you heard me, or OK you'll do whatever I want?" said Brinley.

"Yes," I replied.

"It wasn't a yes or...oh," she said, laughing.

"Who's coming with us?" asked Maisie.

"I've got to hop," said Elena. "But I'll be back for dinner. I've got a medical council meeting this afternoon."

Nick laughed.

"You and Frida?" asked Nick.

"And Bill," said Elena. For some reason everyone moaned. They moan a lot.

"Where's the meeting?" asked Ruby.

"Nibiru," said Elena. She walked over to a smaller space plane and got on board.

Then the plane disappeared. Just popped out of existence.

"Where did the plane go?" I asked.

"Nibiru, but you should keep that quiet," said Ruby.

"Nibiru is a mythical planet," I said.

"Not anymore," said Ruby. "You should honeymoon there."

"On another planet," I said.

"Yes!" said Ruby and Nick. Now we're watching them kiss.

There is a lot of kissing in this culture.

I love it.

The five of us got into the SUV. Ruby got in front and Nick ended up between Brinley and me. The SUV took off. I couldn't help but notice that Nick appeared hard.

"Have you ever seen one?" said Brinley. I shook my head no. She looked at Nick and he laughed and nodded.

Then she unzipped his shorts and pulled out his penis. She stroked it a few times. Nick moaned.

"Touch it. Just like I am. Firm but gentle," said Brinley. I put my hand around it and started stroking and Brinley tickled his balls.

"Oh shit," said Nick. Brinley leaned over quickly and took his entire cock down her throat.

I could tell he was pumping her full but not a drop escaped. She sat up and leaned over him and kissed me and pushed a lot of cum in my mouth. Rather than swallowing it, I leaned in and kissed Nick and pushed it all to him.

Which he swallowed.

"I'm proud of you!" said Brinley. I must have looked confused.

"You took the initiative and kissed his cum to him," said Brinley. "You really do need to let him fuck you. You'll love it."

"And you're good with that," I said.

"He's going to fuck me," said Brinley. "And you do need to be good with that because I like cock. And pussy. A lot."

"Seems like a win to me," I said, which made everyone laugh.

"OK, I've been flying in circles long enough," said Maisie. "I can show you a dozen houses, or I can show you one house that is the right house."

"House?" I said. "House? We're looking at apartments."

"No, you're not," said Ruby. "My wedding present. Now if it were me, I'd open up my spare bedrooms in the family app. Lots of people would join you in every way you can imagine."

"Bedrooms?" I said. "We're looking at a house with three bedrooms?"

"Not exactly," said Maisie. She pointed out the window. Holy shit.

"That's a huge house in a compound on the water. There is a yacht!" I said.

"It's a 10/12, on six acres," said Maisie. "That's not counting the 4/3 caretakers' home."

"Gotta have a caretakers' home," said Brinley.

Then they all laughed.

Then we met the caretakers.

And their kids.

Damn.

It turns out Nick wasn't my first cock. That was Cecil. The caretakers 9-year-old son. Then he fucked Brinley. Then I fucked Brinley in a train while Cecil fucked me in the ass.

Good thing they're staying on as caretakers.

Cecil might never leave our bed.

"He might be our third," said Brinley, with a lot of lust.

Yes, yes he might.

Well dame

My assistant Kelly got a call from the office of the Queen. And you haven't met Kelly. We'll introduce you to Kelly. Kelly is a man, not a woman. You never know with the name Kelly. Then again Kelly also has a very nice cock. Normally that would be TMI for the introduction of a team member.

Not here. Yum. Oh, not our Queen. You know, Mom. This was a different queen.

The Queen

Of England.

Yep. My buddy Liz. Seriously, I've never met the Queen. I've never met any of the royals. I guess I wasn't President long enough. I was pretty focused. Why would her office call mine? They wouldn't say, so it was up to me to call Martha back. Martha. She even sounds British. I was in Robertville, so the timing was right, and I called her.

"Hello, this is Chris Hayden, returning Martha's call," I said.

"Yes, Miss Hayden. This is Martha. This is my direct line. I am the Director of the Office of Protocol for her majesty. I am very pleased to tell you that you have been awarded the honor of Dame of the British Empire. It is the female counterpart to Knighthood. The request came directly from the Queen herself. Apparently she is an admirer. If you can be available, the ceremony would be at 1100 on Tuesday. You would be welcome to bring your immediate family. We understand you have two sisters and a brother and, of course, your parents.

Seriously? Whoa. Being who I am, I needed to push I guess.

"I am honored," I said. "You're a touch out of date on my siblings. I have four sisters and four brothers. It's quite a group. Perhaps it is inappropriate to ask, but my sister, Morgan, my brother, Orlando, my sister, Leslie, and my brother, Luke, are all married, as am I. Would it be possible to bring our spouses and Morgan's children? We would be a much larger group. The children are quite well behaved, both my siblings and niece and nephew. For example, my nephew is 18 and my niece is 14. I can give you a list.

"Given you're 16, having other married new siblings is confusing," said Martha.

"I'll include biographies," I said. Yes, we have them.

"Well, I am sure that is an interesting story, but then again your family is quite unusual, as are you," said Martha. "Of course, they are welcome. I will send your assistant all the pertinent information. It's a bit of a process and has many rules, particularly about attire. Your day will be fuller than your family's, as you've been invited to high tea with the Queen. I admit, that startled me. She usually reserves that for heads of state." Wow, high tea. No clue exactly what that meant, but I get to have tea with the fucking Queen of England. In for a penny. I guess I am the Prime Minister and a retired President. Shit, I've been the head of state of two different countries. I'm 16. This shit is weird.

"Perhaps you could give me some advice," I said. "On behalf of the King and Queen of Dionysus, we would like to extend a formal invitation for the Queen to visit us in Dionysus. If she had an interest, I could personally pick her up in one of our space planes and she could experience space travel as well. For that matter, if a visit is not possible, we could just take her for a ride in space." I heard a gasp. Uh oh.

"Well, I can give you the official answer, which is that I will extend your generous offer to the Queen," said Martha. "My unofficial answer is that she has always dreamed of space travel but did not think it could happen for her in her lifetime. To do it with you, a young woman she so admires, would be a double win. Let's move forward with our current plan and by the time you arrive, I should have a response to your invitations. I doubt she would visit. Her travel is somewhat limited, but I just don't know. Did you have dates in mind?" I assured her that the kingdom would accommodate any date she suggested but thought a month or so out would allow some preparation.

"I am sure there is quite a bit of protocol for a visit, or even a space flight. Is that something we could work with you to understand?" I asked. She laughed and assured me that she could. She even giggled a bit and admitted her jealousy about the space flight.

"Oh, the invitation is extended to you as well," I said. She demurred saying it would not be appropriate.

"Well, let's do this. After the visits are complete, I can take my friend Martha for a quick plane ride that happens to be in space, now couldn't I?" I said. She laughed again and thought that would likely be possible. She was giddy when we hung up. I was intrigued to meet Martha. My first impression was, you know, old fogey Martha. Now I am wondering. There was a lightheartedness. A youthfulness. We'll see. We agreed we would all present ourselves at Buckingham Palace at 1000.

"Oh, one more thing. Do you need assistance with hotel reservations?" said Martha. "It can be a bit complicated this time of year."

"Thank you, but we are all set. We have a home within walking distance of the Palace. We will just walk over," I said.

"Walking distance? I know this area. It must be quite nice. That works well. We will see you at 1000," said Martha. With that, we hung up and I went to find Mom and Dad. Yeah, we all had our own houses, but we almost always were at Mom and Dad's. It was a walk down the beach and we're a close family. It also meant there was almost always somebody to fuck. Which is why I found Dad in the middle of a train with Orlando and Mom. In the living room. Oh, and Mom was going down on Grace.

So, an average day on Dionysus.

What to do, what to do. Then I noticed Carlina and Gabe sitting on the couch playing on their iPads. They were both naked, which was no surprise. I walked over and got on my knees and spread Carlina's tiny little lips apart. I licked from the bottom to the top, being a little mean and not touching her clit. She kept playing her game, briefly, but finally tossed her iPad and started tweaking her own nipples. By now, Gabe was watching intently and stroking his cock. I reached up and took him in my hand. I can multi-task. I finally relented and sucked on Carlina's clit, and she went right over. I moved, just a bit, and took Gabe in my mouth. Between his stroking and mine, he didn't last long, and shot off in my mouth. I saved it and slid up his body and kissed some of it into his mouth.

I had to save some for Carlina.

We all sat back and then realized we had an audience. Oh good, everyone was done. For now. That was a weird shift. Talking to the Queen's aide to getting a young man and woman off. I like my life.

"Mom and Dad," I said. "Can I talk to you privately?" They got that look all parents get. Is she pregnant? What's going on? I laughed a bit and dragged them into the library.

"Oh stop. You know me better than that," I said. I explained the phone call and the need to be in London on Tuesday. According to Martha, the ceremony is held twice a year, but for me, this was an incredibly rare off cycle ceremony. Just for me. I got all the details from Kelly, that Martha had sent, and we went into a flurry making sure we had the right clothing and everything. One challenge was that I was expected to wear a hat. A freaking hat. I don't own a hat. There are no hats to be bought in Dionysus. Who wears hats? All the women needed hats except children. Define children. Technically I'm a child but needed a hat. Finally Kelly came through and found a selection of hats in London and arranged for them all to be delivered to our house. They would be waiting with Daniel. Hats. OK, I'm focusing on hats.

Friday afternoon I got a call directly from Martha.

"Hi Chris, Martha here," she said. Yes, that was not an older woman's voice. I began to fantasize what Martha looked like. I have no idea why. Just horny I guess. It had been almost 40 minutes since someone had fucked me. Such a long, long time. Anyway, back to the call. I told her we had hats. It seemed important.

"We have a bit of an unusual request, from the Queen, but I needed to run it by you," said Martha. "As you may know, the DBE title is honorary for citizens that are not of the Commonwealth. It really just means that you cannot call yourself Dame Chris, but given you're Princess Chris, that didn't seem to be a big deal. However, it is to the Queen. As I mentioned, she is enamored with your efforts around the globe. Her solution, if you agree, is to give you British citizenship. We're aware that you're already a US citizen and a Dionysus citizen, so I guess this would be your third. If you're in agreement, could you email me a passport photo? She insists on presenting you with your British passport during the ceremony and that will take some string pulling. Of course, no one has a firmer hand on that string than the Queen."

I told her I would want to ensure there were no conflicts, but I didn't expect there to be any and she would see the photo within an hour. I called Sota, and woke him up, given it was 4 am in Florida, but once he was awake, he assured me that a third citizenship was just fine. Unusual, but fine. I shot off a photo to Martha.

I apologized for waking him up and suggested we fuck the next time we were together.

Probably an unnecessary add on to the apology. We're together? We'll fuck. Pretty much applies to everyone I know. And a lot I haven't met yet.

Off to be knighted

Finally it was Monday, and we flew to London. Yes, we took an E-82. You never know. It was a short hop, so we got there pretty early and flew over to our house.

How handy we got in early. We miss Daniel, Donnie, Clive, and Jolie. I wonder when they'll finally realize they're a quad.

Oh boy. It appears they have. That didn't change anything that happened, but it made me happy. Not being President is glorious. Daniel, Clive, Donnie, Jolie. In that order.

That was a big dildo, too.

Somehow it was time to get dressed.

Today is the day

Still Chris.

OK, we got there early. I was antsy about everything and bouncing off the walls, so we took a walk through the park and presented ourselves at the gate. Yes, I looked amazing in my hat. All the women had hats. Wonderful hats. We put the men in their suits to shame, although I have to say they looked amazing, too. You have to see Jessica in her hat. Jessica is the least clothes oriented person in the world. She just doesn't care what she wears and prefers not to wear anything. Not today. She was wearing a gorgeous dress with a small hat with considerable whimsy. Whimsy is not a word you associate with Jessica.

She freaking rocked it. It wasn't just her being adorable, which she was. It was all in the attitude. We were walking to Buckingham palace.

Jessica is strutting to Buckingham Palace.

We were ushered into a drawing room and told that the Queen would be available at 1100 sharp. That gave us almost a half hour to kill and, no, we didn't strip down and fuck in the palace. Tempting, but no.

Suddenly the door opened, and the Queen walked in, followed by a clearly frazzled, beautiful young woman. We all jumped to our feet, and the Queen laughed. She came directly to me and took my hand.

"I am so pleased to meet you, young lady," said the fucking Queen. "I have followed all your efforts closely. You have accomplished what no one else has even set out to do. You have made a measurable impact on hunger, world-wide. You have ensured that everyone has clean water. You have done what governments, run by clueless people, could not. You have been the leader of not one, but two countries, and brought the US out of a crisis, both as President and as the kingmaker. I just had to meet you." Well, damn. The Queen is quite a gusher. She leaned over to whisper something.

"I am also aware of the heroics in space of you and your sister Morgan," said the Queen. The God damn Queen.

I demurred that we were in a fortunate situation to assist, and it was more our money than my effort. Yeah, she actually laughed.

"I do love your modesty, but if it were just about money, someone else would have done it. It is about passion, pure and simple. You have that passion," said the Queen. What could I say? I just thanked her.

She then proceeded to introduce herself to every one of our family. Someone had clearly briefed her, as she knew us all and had a little tidbit about each one of us. She was particularly polite to Mom and Dad and treated them as, well, royalty. Yeah, let's not laugh guys. Finally, we were introduced to, you guessed it, Martha. By then she had calmed down and it was almost 1100.

"Follow me everyone," said the Queen and yeah, we did. We walked into the next room, which was quite large, and setup with chairs for what was a surprisingly large audience. There were television cameras and still photographers. It was a big fucking deal. For me. I don't get it at all.

"Which is why you're getting it," whispered Mom. OK, I know.

The Queen took my hand and led me to the front of the room. There were no swords involved for women, so I just stood in front of her, and she attached the pin to my dress. Yeah, I wore a dress. I admit I thought about wearing my Air Force uniform but decided against it. No need to push that. We posed for a billion pictures, and the Queen brought my family in as well. The Queen made a nice speech about some of the efforts I had made around the world. She then presented me with my UK passport, a diplomatic passport, no less. I was expected to speak, too. Oh boy. Improv skills don't fail me now. I just gave the standard it wasn't me, it was those that support me speech, calling out the family, of course. Finally we were done. A number of people came up to introduce themselves, including the new Prime Minister. Surreal. There was even a small reception with enough food to be considered lunch. After a few minutes, I carved the Queen out of the crowd. Come on, you can picture it.

"I just wanted to mention that it is only 1230 and tea isn't until 1500. We have plenty of time to take a quick space flight. We could do a lap around the world and be back. We could even have tea in space," I said. The last line got a laugh from the Queen.

"A nice Thermos would work, now wouldn't it?" she said, and we both laughed. "I have been accused, throughout my life, of sometimes being spontaneous. It's a bit constraining, being the Queen and all. Your pilots are available?"

"Well, yes, our pilots are available. Everyone you met is an experienced pilot of the space plane. It would be my honor to fly you into space," I said. Yes even the Queen raised her eyebrows.

"Everyone? I met your siblings that are 5 years old," said the Queen.

"Everyone. Perhaps they won't be the pilots on this flight," I said. The Queen let out a belly laugh. Everyone turned and looked. I suspect that was not a common occurrence. Martha looked like she was going to pass out.

"That means they saved the world, too," said the Queen. "They flew." I acknowledged they did.

"Damn," said the Queen. You should have seen the look on Martha's face. I'm guessing the Queen doesn't cuss a lot.

Suddenly her security dude interjected. You know the type. Dark suit. Weird headset with the coiled cord. Do they not have Bluetooth? Anyway.

"I am afraid that just won't be possible. The process to review your procedures prior to the Queen flying any type of aircraft with you will take months. A space plane, even longer," he said. Ah crap. Officious dude, isn't he? Yeah, I am Chris, so I didn't fucking like that.

"Ma'am, respectfully, our plane is quite safe, and our pilots are experts. While we will respect your decision, I suspect you can override him, and we can be in space in a few minutes." She thought for a minute.

"What would make you more comfortable?" she asked, of officious dude.

Ah, got it. He wanted to go into space. No problem.

Just then, Martha walked up and handed me a Thermos. Oh, got it. Tea. We'll turn on the gravity before we open it. It could get messy.

I don't know about anybody else, but our family got to hear the Queen giggle and laugh out loud. She loved it, which was no surprise. She sat in the cockpit jump seat for an entire orbit, just looking out the front window. At one point, I noticed a tear run down her face. I was sitting next to her. She turned to me.

"Thank you," she said softly. "I have never appreciated our planet more and knowing that you and people like you are working to save it makes me happy." Then she hugged me. I got hugged by the Queen.

Shit, she said yes

Chris here. My entry, huh.

We were about a week from the official state visit, officious dude notwithstanding. Not everyone in my buddy the Queen's family could come. She would be coming, and her grandkids and great-grandkids would be coming. Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan and their son Prince Archie. Prince William and Duchess Kate. Their kids, Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis. Just nine of them, so there was room on the plane. Yes, we promised we would pick them up in the E-82. You can imagine how the world media reacted after we took the Queen up. This was bigger. I got a call from Martha.

You noticed Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan. Liz and I had a long talk about the situation, and I helped broker a reconciliation.

Yes, Liz. I can't exactly explain it, but we chat every few days. Sometimes for a just a few minutes. Sometimes a nice long talk. I've been back to visit too many times to count.

I think it is the tea. Somehow I am BFFs with the Queen. We text constantly.

Anyway, I got a call.

"Chris, we just received the official Dionysus protocol from your director of protocol. I spoke to her and much of this is unorthodox. I thought I should talk to you as well," said Martha. Unorthodox? Hell, I didn't even know we had a director of protocol. I was sitting out on the porch with most of the family, so I quickly put the phone on mute.

"Hey everybody, who is our director of protocol. Who sent stuff to Martha and talked to her?" I asked.

"Oh, that was me," said Ruby. "I figured that fell under the Minister of Fun." Well sure. Ruby. OK, take the phone off mute without laughing.

"I see," I said. "I don't have a copy handy. Which parts make you uncomfortable?"

"All of them," she said. "It says that the official attire for the weekend is shorts and t-shirts. Optional is a collared golf shirt. Swimwear is also acceptable. It suggests that at the state dinner, shoes are suggested, but otherwise sandals, flip-flops, or shoeless is acceptable. Let me read you the last line."

At no time will clothing usually described as business casual or better be acceptable attire for any events in Dionysus. Should appropriate clothing not be readily available, it can be provided.

"Um, your protocol says the Queen of England has to wear shorts and a golf shirt," said Martha. "That's just not done. It's just not."

"Well," I said. "Have you asked her? I think you might be surprised."

"I can't possibly ask her to wear shorts! I can't even bring up the topic!" she said, shouting. I laughed.

"Oh, and your protocol requires our director of protocol to attend the entire weekend. That's just not done. I cannot possibly come," she said. "It's just not done."

"Well, you need to understand that the words it's just not done are not accepted on Dionysus," I said. "I'm 16 and have accomplished quite a bit. Two of our space plane pilots are 5. Oh, can't forget our 3-year-old pilot that is the daughter of my 16-year-old sister. The Director of Protocol that sent you this is 14, and she was also the Top Gun runner-up, losing to my then 14-year-old sister. Then she won Top Gun the next year. She's also the CEO of several multi-billion dollar businesses. Oh, I can't forget she was the Secretary of Commerce for the US for a bit. We are not normal and we're OK with that. Let Liz know to call me, or I'll text her.

"You'll text the Queen," said Martha, with some shock, and I laughed.

"Martha," I said. "We text all the time. I talk to her almost every day."

Martha might be confused now.

Ten minutes later, Liz called me. Yep. We talked through our protocol and when I could get her to stop laughing, she heartily agreed it would be, in her words, great fun. Good going, Minister of Fun.

I spoke to Martha again and while confused, she rolled with it. Which is how, that Friday afternoon, we flew much of the royal family around the world a few times before landing at Mom and Dad's house. We had the entire city in clothes for the weekend. Given we were having a festival in the park, and the Queen was the guest of honor, they could freaking live with clothes. When we picked them up, Jessica landed the E-82 flawlessly right on the palace lawn. Bill was in the right seat. There was plenty of excitement and press. There is a classic shot going the rounds of our plane with the pilots clearly visible. We did have Mom and Dad fly with the Queen and her family, but honestly, Jessica was a better pilot. OK, so was Bill.

Let me tell you, the Queen rocked a pair of shorts and a Hayden polo. She said she hadn't been this comfortable in 40 years. We sent her home with a giant box of polo shirts in all colors. Martha later told me she had taken to wearing them around the palace. We shipped a few boxes of polos in more sizes. I laughed one day when I saw a picture of the Queen with the great grandkids, and they were all wearing a Hayden polo. Donations skyrocketed.

So back to the state visit. Let me tell you, the Queen is a pretty crazy lady. Our tour included Aether, which is the airport island, but also has the racetrack. We were in a group of nice Bentley SUVs, which seemed appropriate, and the Queen was riding up front with me. I'm pretty sure her security team had given up by now. I could tell she was excited about the racetrack.

"Would you like a ride around the track?" I asked. "We could do it slowly in the SUV or faster in another car. We could even take one of the McLarens. British made, you know." I'll be damned. She wanted to go for a ride in the McLaren. Yes, the security chief fought it, but his heart wasn't in it. The Queen was aware we owned McLaren now. This was an ion-powered model that flies. Maybe I wouldn't show her that.

It is a good thing their official photographer was along. The shot of her standing next to the car, holding her helmet, wearing a fire suit, made it into every newspaper and online news outlet on the planet. Her smile was amazing. I took her around the track, and she kept yelling faster. Finally I asked her if she wanted full race speeds and she smiled and nodded. I put everything into it, and she laughed the entire way around. I slowed to a stop just around the corner from the start, but where no one could see us. I opened my door and she asked me if there was a problem.

"No problem," I said. "It's your turn to drive." I gave her credit, she damn near hopped out of the car and came around. I got her settled in and buckled in and strapped myself into the passenger seat. I set my helmet on the floor.

"Oh no," said the freaking Queen. "You should wear that." Well sure. It turns out she had some skills. We did three full laps of the entire 'Ring and she kept getting faster. Finally we pulled up to the entire group, who were just chatting. We got out and when we took off our helmets, everyone went insane.

"Were you driving the last two laps?" asked Leslie, and the Queen nodded. Leslie smiled.

"You now hold the fourth position for the fastest lap in that model car," said Leslie. I think she could have died happy. Oh, that went out in a royal press release from both royal families. Yes, our family issued a joint press release with the Queen. The rest of the visit was great fun, too. They stayed at the resort on Prometheus. No, that's not quite right. Martha and the Queen stayed at my house with Noah and me. The fact that Noah and I were married didn't seem to bother her at all.

We all spent the next day together and finally took them home. Our entire family got a hug from the Queen. She finished with just a simple thank you.

Martha told me later that the Queen wouldn't stop talking about her visit to Dionysus. The fact that Martha told me that while we were in bed at our London home could just be another story, couldn't it? Then again, Noah is on her other side.

We like Martha.

A few days later a package arrived with diplomatic passports for our entire extended family. Ruby was now officially the Minister of Fun for a second country.

I made sure the Dionysus passports for her extended family were delivered quickly.

The press loved commenting on the fact that the Queen regularly was joined at tea by members of the Dionysus extended royal family. I know Ruby went up for tea at least once a month, if not twice a month. I joined them once and the bond the two of them had was special. As the Queen said: "She keeps me young. After all, she is the Minister of Fun."

That she is. That she is.

Oh, Morgan is a Dame now, too. So is Leslie.

Orlando is Sir Orlando and won't stop saying it.

"I am Sir Orlando."

At least he only says it in bed.

I hope.

Email me. Comments, ideas, and suggestions welcome

End of Chapter