4 September 2023

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I love email. If you give me a story line, I'll name a character after you. I really need ideas for fun situations. Get it?

Off to the space station. Not

Well, we did say we'd go to the space station. It's a great group. It's a big group. Oh, this is Jessica. Remember back to St. Louis. Yeah, that group.

But we decided on Priapus instead. It is one of the new planets. Still a little rustic, but given the three suns and the perfect temperature all the time, that's not a huge issue. It basically has a huge locker room, restaurant, and a giant outdoor wrestling mat.

What more do you need? We sleep on the mat. Happily. Lustfully.

Now, the name Priapus is meaningful. Priapus was well known for his enormous cock. Yes I know that. I have a PhD in Greek mythology. It seemed appropriate given our proximity to Greece.

Anyway. Take Nibiru's rejuventation up a notch to about 50 at a time, then add in that every cock grows to about 50% longer and 50% wider and you have Priapus.

It is a popular planet.

Did I mention the simply explosive orgasms? As in more than four times the cum?

Our entire group is here, even those that left. Wouldn't you be if you could?

Yes, this is Jessica and yes I know all those things. I have experienced those things. Hey, Bill with a giant penis is pretty freaking outstanding.

And then there is Horacio.

Oh God. Just assume the deep voice.

I took everyone that we met, plus everyone on their lists and merged them.

Then I added Xeeta and Xad. And Leo. And Tia and Jax. And BJ and CJ. Nan, of course.

Hey, a girl needs friends.

With benefits.

It is an ecletic group. Julita, the 73-year-old docent. Let's just say that after watching her a bit, I made sure to invite her. To our birthday party.

"Julita," I said. "I wanted to give you save the date for Bill and my birthday week," I said. "Our ninth birthday."

Julita laughed.

"Well, thank you, but Bill already invited me," she said, with a smile.

Well, OK then. Just then Nylah walked up and damn near smiled me into the ground.

Pretty sure Julita enjoyed it.

"I wanted to invite you," said Nylah.

"To your ninth birthday week?" said Julita.

"Week?" said Nylah. "Oh God. Week. But yes."

"Colby already did. So did Karolina," said Julita.

"Karolina is already of age," said Nylah.

"I know," said Julita, brightly.

Jealous. Damn jealous.

"I'm really jealous," said Nylah. "I'll bet Jessica is, too."

See!

Of course all our new friends are here. Brent, with his kids Porsha and Nickolas. Camryn and Hoa with Camryn's daughter, Linh. Karianne with Kelene and Brogan. Oh wait, Faviola is here, too. I'm pretty confident that Porsha and Nickolas will soon have a new step-mom. Then again I am confident that Linh will, too.

Hey, a weekend on Priapus will do that for you. Hey, I wonder.

I hopped up onto a table to the gasp of many. Oh hell, I'll go there for sure. But not my initial reason.

"I just wanted to make sure that all our new friends stop and talk to me right before we leave," I said. "I have small bags with your phones. I want to highlight that your JetsonCar app has some new available destinations and that includes everywhere Dionysus owns a home, including this planet and several more. There is also a reservations app to sign up beds in homes in all of those places. If you need any help, you can always reach out. My contact information is already loaded. All of our contact information is already loaded."

"Can I ask a question?" said the Julita.

"If the question is whether we can fuck with a double-ended dildo on my ninth birthday, the answer is yes, but you probably knew that," I said. Setting a tone here, folks.

"Yeah, knew that," said Julita, just so casually. "Preferably with me in the middle of a train, with Bill in the back, on this planet."

OK, that's happening.

"But my question is that nothing you said makes sense," said Julita. "I could request a ride to another planet and the car can just pop me here?"

"Yes," I said.

"Seriously?" said Brent.

"You're underestimating them again," said Porsha. "Take off your blinders. Your world has changed. We jumped forward orders of magnitude of generations when we got swept into Dionysus."

She turned to me.

"May I please give them an example?" asked Porsha, of me.

"Sure," I said. "No clue what you're going to show them, but should be fun."

Which was when Porsha took Nickolas' hand and they did a lazy flight around our group. Then they settled back down.

"Yeah, that's a good one," I said. "Could you fly before Dionysus?"

"Don't know," said Porsha. "Don't think so."

"Did you say fly?" said Julita, with some surprise. Um, Julita, they're naked. They just flew.

"Take my hand," said Porsha. Julita took her hand.

"Just use your imagination," said Porsha. "Imagine yourself doing that same flight, with me."

They slowly drifted up and started the big lap. After a very short time, Porsha let go of Julita's hand. She wobbled, just a bit, but recovered quickly. They finished the lap and settled down.

"Pretty cool," said Julita.

"Yeah," I said. "We'd prefer you were careful with it and didn't fly around downtown St. Louis during the day."

Julita laughed.

"Wait, what?" said Julita. "I thought I could only fly on this planet."

She even pointed at all three suns.

"Doesn't have anything to do with the planet," I said. Some stunned looks out there now.

"Any more questions for now?" I said. "I'll tell you what. We'll do a weekly Zoom hour for a bit. Anyone can join when they want. They're great fun to masturbate on video as a group, too."

Well, they are. I knew there was a reason for Zoom. Maybe the only reason for Zoom.

"It is time to play porn improvisation," said Nylah.

Hell yes.

Glad I brought my friends. Yes everyone can watch.

And learn things. Lots and lots of things. There is a surprisingly large storage room in the locker room building dedicated to spatulas.

There is a smaller one dedicated to gavels. Yes, gavels. It turns out our gavel lust had a reason. Yes, Nylah has a gavel microsite.

Enjoy.

I'll go through one hilariously short and stupid porn improvisation. We did it by the lake. Yes, a huge lake.

It was Bill, Nylah, Colby, Xeeta, Xad and me. We started by just playing on the beach, in the water.

In swimsuits. No seriously. The girls had on bikinis, including tops, and the boys have on Speedos. Kind of cute and innocent, am I right?

Then we freaking tore each other's clothes off and put on a clinic.

It was well received.

The trip got even better from there. Much, much better. Much. It deserved that last much.

Someone has to run all the museums

I'm on my way back to St. Louis to meet with Julita. Then I'm going to meet Julita and Marlin again. And yes, Marlin was on Priapus, too.

They're fun. Orlando at the pen.

I'm staying with Karianne. Literally. I know I bought the place, but it is popular with our extended family and full. Darn it. I'm going to have to share a bed with Karianne.

Feels like a win.

She did mention it might be a bit of a tight squeeze because Tomas was already going to be sharing her bed.

Feels like another win.

But first I am having brunch with Julita. I found the place on St. Louis magazine's site. We find that the local magazine is a great source of good food suggestions. We're going to Cinder House. High-end breakfast and it includes two drink tickets.

Which I can't use.

Which makes me laugh.

Julita insisted on meeting me even though I offered to pick her up. I left my plane at the house and took a car over to Cinder House. I'm trying out the new Audi A6 Avant E-Tron. A lot of words for an electric station wagon. I like it. Mine is in the deepest, richest purple.

I love the color.

I dropped down into a spot in the parking lot just as a JetsonCar dropped off Julita. I walked up to her and smiled.

"You know I would have picked you up," I said. She smiled at me.

"I wouldn't want to inconvenience you," she replied.

"You know us better than that," I said and she laughed.

"I know you a lot better, I agree," she said, laughing again. I held my arms open for a hug. We hug.

She melted into it, just as a family walked by. Mom, Dad, Daughter, Son. The kids are maybe 13 and 10.

The boy stopped and stood behind Julita. The entire family turned and stared at him.

Then the girl stood behind the boy. I think they're in line.

For a hug.

Julita pulled back after, well, vibrating a bit. It happens. I looked over at the parents and the mom laughed and nodded.

I swept the boy into a hug. One of my better efforts. Suddenly he pushed me away.

I get it, little dude. The girl drifted into a hug and didn't push me away.

Sorry about the puddle. The mom is enthralled. The dad appears confused on what is even happening.

Until the mom got in line.

"You sure?" I said. "He doesn't seem to quite understand." I nodded at the husband.

"Dad," said the girl. "Mom is going to get a hug from Prince Orlando and likely have a huge orgasm like I did."

"And I almost did," laughed the boy.

Julita just nodded.

I think the dad surprised everyone. He got in line behind his wife.

Sure.

I gave the mom one of my better hugs. Oh, who am I kidding. I only have one level of hug and I am told it is, well, fun.

The second puddle implies that.

Then the dad drifted in for a hug. He just melted, clearly enjoying it.

"Oh no," he exclaimed, pushing me away and looking down at his own cock. Yes, exclaimed, and yes, someone will reward me.

"I will," thought both kids to me. The boy added the jinx. In our heads.

Sure.

While that little conversation was happening, Julita dropped to her knees, pulled down the dad's pants, and swallowed his cock, just as it erupted.

You go, Julita. She stood up and showed the cum to the man. On her tongue.

"Oh, go ahead," said the mom. "A dream come true."

So Julita kissed him the cum.

Ah. She saved some for the mom.

Well played, Julita, well played. The kiss resulted in two more puddles.

It happens.

"Any chance we could find a nice place to fuck?" said the girl. The dad looks stunned. The mom has a smirk.

And nodded.

To the surprise of the dad.

Impressive moan there, dad.

So I nodded. Duh.

"Let's have lunch first," I said. "My treat."

"Duh," said Lizette. She introduced herself. In my head. So did Shann, her brother.

"You don't read me without permission," I said, with some heat.

"Read me?" said the dad. "Is that some euphemism?"

Lizette is glaring at me.

"Don't look at me like that," I said. "You knew better."

"Yeah," said Lizette in the classic tween whine.

Now the two kids and I are laughing.

We went up to the hostess desk.

"Hi," I said. "I have a reservation for two and they have a reservation for four. Any chance to make that a table for six?"

The woman behind the podium was not pleased.

"It's fine," said the Mom.

"Hold up," said Lizette. She turned me around and pointed me at the sign on the wall. The sign for the restaurant.

"So," I said. "The name of the restaurant."

"Look lower. At the tagline," said Lizette.

A Hanif Restaurant

Oh. I guess I will use my drink coupons. OK, only one of them. I'm driving. OK flying and the car is autonomous, but still.

I turned back to hostess.

"Would it matter if I was a member of the Dionysus royal family?" I said.

She laughed. Quite the guffaw.

"What's holding up the line?" said a man, that just walked up. Given his nametag mentions he is the manager, I'm going to take a leap and infer he is the manager.

"They want to combine a reservation for four with a reservation for two," said the hostess. That's when the manager turned to us.

And focused on me for a bit.

"Whatever they want," said the manager.

"Seriously?" said the hostess. "We're never allowed to do that."

"We've never had Prince Orlando in our restaurant either," said the manager.

"Your policy is stupid. It is no more difficult than pushing two tables together," I said. "That is no longer your policy."

And so he has spoken.

"If only I had a bugle. That felt like it needed a bugle," said Lizette.

OK, it kind of did.

It took them less time to push tables together than it did for me to write this sentence and we all sat down. I ended up with Lizette on my left, Hyrum on my right, and Shann and Evianna across from me. Julita was at the end of the table, between Lizette and Shann. Hyrum and Evianna are Lizette and Shann's dad and mom respectively.

They're truly a gorgeous family.

"So what's the topic of conversation between you two?" asked Shann.

"Can't Julita and I just be friends?" I said.

"Sure," said Lizette. "But this is a business meeting."

"How do you know that?" asked Julita.

"Because Orlando is wearing pants," said Lizette.

"I don't usually walk around St. Louis without pants," I said.

"No," said Shann. "But I'll bet on a nice spring day like this, you would usually be in shorts, even at this restaurant. Plus you're by yourself and not surrounded by people like, well, both your wives."

"And your twins," added Lizette.

They have a point. We don't really talk about Zach and Zoey, but they are almost always with me.

"Pretty good deductive powers," I said. "It's almost like you read me."

"That too," laughed Lizette.

"That's the second time you've said that," said Hyrum. "What do you mean?"

"Ask Mom," said Shann.

Lizette laughed.

Evianna looks stricken.

"Living vicariously, Mom?" said Lizette with just the lightest dose of snark.

Evianna let out a sigh.

"Sometimes," she said.

Now Shann and Lizette are laughing.

"What are you all talking about?" said Hyrum.

"Reading someone means reading their mind. Their thoughts. Some people can actually see through your eyes, too. Mom has been watching through one of us while we fuck," said Lizette.

"OK, if you don't want to tell me," said Hyrum.

"She did tell you," said Evianna.

Now, that was an impressive moan.

I mean seriously so.

"We understand if you don't want to discuss business in front of us," said Shann.

"First we need to know about your interests," I said, clearly to Shann and Lizette.

"Why?" said Hyrum.

"Because if we're here at lunch with Julita and Orlando, we're supposed to be at this lunch," said Lizette. "It could be you and Mom and we'll likely get there if it is, but in their world, the odds are it is one or both of us."

I just nodded. I laughed that Julita did, too.

"You have to give us a little context," said Shann. "If we knew even a little about why the two of you are here, then we could flex on that."

"OK," I said. "I'm here to offer Julita the job of running all of our museums world-wide, including any we haven't bought yet. She will also have the latitude to buy any museum she wants."

For some reason Julita is just staring at me. Shock, curiosity, interest, excitement, acceptance.

Fun to watch.

"OK," said Lizette. "That makes sense. Then the liklihood is that we are here at least because of me. Art is my passion. I know everything that you have done globally. I could likely even predict several more that are already in your sights."

"OK," said Julita. "What about you, Shann."

"I can answer that," said Evianna. "I'm a teacher. Shann has a true passion for education. More accurately for improving education. He's been giving me suggestions since pre-school and I have implemented every single one of them. Most are now the standard in our school and at least a few have been implemented school district-wide, including his first suggestion when he was 3."

"Well, we don't own the schools here," I said. I'd checked. I don't know why I had checked, but I had checked and now I know it is because I needed to check and that was a freaking awesome sentence.

"City or metro," said Shann.

Never a better time than to wait him out.

"No, that's a silly question," said Shann. "You're very much go big or go home. Given even I know the museums you own, the school districts are trivial. So you'd go wide to bring the biggest benefit to as many kids as possible."

Felt like another good time to nod. Julita did to. So did a man at the next table that looks remarkably like Ralph Lauren.

Shaking that off.

"Well, since we have it all worked out, let's eat," I said.

"Huh?" said Hyrum.

I get it, Dad, I get it.

"I'll summarize," said Lizette. "Julita now runs all of the Dionysus museums world-wide, including the Louvre, MOMA, the Met, and many more, including our own St. Louis Museum of Art. I work for Julita. I'm not sure doing exactly what yet."

"You're her Chief of Staff. Her XO. Her number two. The person that stands in for her when she needs to be two places at once. Probably the point person on acquisitions, since that will require considerable travel," said Shann. "Will she get an S-88? No, that's silly. Of course she will. Heck, I probably get one, too."

Julita beat me to the nod.

Suddenly Lizette's eyes got wide.

And she moaned.

It took her a moment to recover.

"The home of the superintendent of schools is a consulate," said Lizette, in an unsurprisingly gravelly voice.

Evianna and Shann are moaning. Hyrum is still confused.

Oh, we all waited him out. Confusion, understanding, concern, excitement, lust.

The order varies a bit, but the end result never does.

That's when Rylee dropped into an empty chair. She was carrying five small gift bags.

At least phones. Maybe more. Who knows. She won't even know why.

More. I admit I was surprised. Five phones. Three sets of jewelry. Honestly, that makes sense.

"Is that costume jewelry?" said Hyrum. "Can I see that?"

"Dad's a jeweler," said Lizette.

He even had one of their weird eye loupe things in his pocket.

He's looking at Lizette's earrings. Interesting that Shann's ears are pierced, too and Rylee bought three sets of earrings.

"Holy shit," said Hyrum.

"Language!" shouted both Lizette and Shann.

Yes, Shann said it.

"Hey, we own the restaurant," I said.

Lizette sat down on Shann's lap, facing him. She slid his hands up under her T-shirt.

Hyrum is mesmerized.

Then they kissed.

Wow.

They finally broke the kiss.

"Will you marry me? Please?" said both of them.

"Yes!" they said.

"Jinx!" they said.

"Best jinx ever," said Julita.

She has that right.

Hyrum is still confused.

"You can't get married," he said. "You're siblings!"

"Out of all this," said Shann. "That's the thing you're focusing on. Lizette and I are getting S-88 space planes. We're members of the inner circle of Dionysus. I'm going to be the superintendent of schools for the entire St. Louis metro area. Lizette is going to buy literal art museums. For cash."

"Huh?" said Hyrum.

He looked at me.

As much as I wanted to nod, this felt like actual words were required.

"Everything he said is true," I said. "It is confusing, particularly when it happens this abruptly, but it is only confusing to the adults."

"Not all adults," said Evianna.

"Not all adults," I said, laughing. "You'll get there."

"Let's finish breakfast and go to the moon," said Rylee. "We can fuck all morning and have lunch. A big group is there."

"Great idea," I said. By then we'd finished breakfast. We walked outside and Hyrum started towards his car.

Shann and Lizette are laughing.

"Hyrum, we're going with them," said Evianna.

"Huh?" said Hyrum.

"We're going to the moon. While we're there, you'll likely fuck Mom, me, Shann, possibly Rylee, and maybe even Orlando," said Lizette.

"Hey," said Julita.

"Don't worry," said Shann. "My first is for you."

"Oh yeah," said Lizette. I don't even have to explain her tone, now do I?

The trip was amazing. Our new friends are amazing. We like new friends. You don't want to hear about the wild sex filled romp.

Oh, you do.

Just a taste. A taste! Telling Dad. He will vigorously reward me. Then I will return the honor.

Dad does like getting fucked in the ass. We have a real closeness on the topic given I was his first. When I was 12.

Lizette and Shann were indeed first. Then Evianna and Hyrum joined in, with encouragement. It turns out that Hyrum's reticence turned into enthusiasm. After all. Priapus. Oh yeah. We didn't go to the moon.

Hyrum got fucked a lot.

Me too.

Whee!

Julita did give me permission to say that she called a gangbang. I was first in line.

That cannot surprise you.

Oh, and our museums all have a new tagline. A Julita museum. She thinks it is ridiculous. We think it is wonderful.

I love the Louvre

I met Rilee here. She and Henry are so freaking happy together. Yes, Rilee might soon be my daughter-in-law. Which is wonderful. This is Rylee.

We're a close family. Not to forget Carol. Yes, they're a trio.

But this is a different story. I just bought the Louvre. It was a little pricey, but hey, the Louvre. All part of our master plan of world domination of the art world.

Not actually kidding there.

We're pilin' them up. Julita and especially Lizette are driving many of them, but the rest of us have our favorites and we're helping, too. They'll all be A Julita museum. It is already a badge of honor.

Rightfully so.

But I love the Louvre. Orlando and I fought over it a bit because he loves the Louvre, too.

Then we fucked. It was pretty freaking passionate.

God, I love our world. Orlando will always be special to me, too. After all, he was my first. I think I was the first person he whispered, too. You know, if it wasn't Bob, Amy, and Pari, I could see it being Orlando, Grace, Valeria, and me.

Either way, I've enjoyed myself since that whisper.

Whee!

In the end, I bought the Louvre. Now that's not even a story. The world is expecting the outlandish from us now and it isn't the first museum we bought. I'm headed now to have them wrap up the Mona Lisa. It will look great in the breakfast nook of my house in Robertville.

I'm kidding. Kind of. It would look great there but come on. Not the Mona Lisa.

It is way too small.

Back to my mission. My quest. I am on a quest in the Louvre.

I have arrived at my destination. The security office.

I'm looking for a guard. I doubt you even remember. The day I met Rilee here. I met a lot of folks that day. I am having lunch tomorrow with Arcene and Patric.

At my apartment. Duh.

Oh, I have an apartment now. I'll come back to that, too.

I walked into the office and the guy at the desk look startled. He jump up and saluted.

I admit I laughed.

"Thank you," I said. "But totally unnecessary. We're huggers. So if there is an interest but no pressure," I said.

I held open my arms. He was briefly conflicted but then melted into my arms.

It was a good hug. I did not anticipate him starting to cry.

That was a weird turn.

I just held him while he sobbed. He finally got himself under control and stood up.

And stared.

Well, something is going on with the girls. I looked down. Ah. My entire right breast is wet with his tears.

On my white, slightly sheer crop top.

OK, replace slightly with completely and you understand the effect of the tears.

"Well, the wrestling rooms will be installed soon," I said. "So if there is interest in seeing more, look me up and we'll spend some time together."

"Wrestling? We would wrestle?" he said.

Wow. Someone that doesn't understand our wrestling rooms.

So I explained them. Bluntly.

Wow. Are all guards well-endowed? That might be another quest.

But I had more important things first.

"Would you like to share why you were crying? No pressure, but I might be able to help," I said.

He took a few breaths.

"Why not," he said. "You're an American. You'll probably understand."

Did I mention that he switched to English with a distinct Bronx accent?

"I'll do the short version," he said. "Parents divorced as a kid. I moved to Paris with Dad. Mom's still in the Bronx but has cancer. She can't afford insurance or treatment, so I'm going back this weekend to basically say goodbye."

"Well fuck," I said. And not in the usual uplifting way.

Even I was a little startled when Elena walked into the security office. Wearing a crop top remarkably similar to mine. She noticed my exposed breast.

It is kind of out there.

"I didn't know it came in a version like that," said Elena. "I like it."

Well sure.

We'd wear it.

I already am.

"Why am I here?" asked Elena.

I had Brice tell the story. You could tell it made Elena angry.

"OK," she said. "Come with me, Brice."

"Come with you?" he said. "I don't even know who you are."

She laughed and pointed at his hard cock.

"But you appear to appreciate me, too," she said.

Cruel, Elena.

"My name is Elena," she said. "I am the Chief Medical Officer for the country of Dionysus. We're going to go get your Mom, take her to Robertville, and get her the best care available in the world."

"Well, that seems good," he said, with a huge smile.

"And then if there is an interest I am going to ride you like a bull until you can't anymore," said Elena. You go, girl.

"Well, that seems good, too," he said. Oh, subtle. Well played.

"But I don't think my husband would appreciate that," he added.

"I will alternate riding you both like a bull until you both can't anymore," said Elena. "With a series of trains."

We all paused to picture that. It is a pretty pleasant picture.

"While I would like that," he said. "Pierre wouldn't. I'm bi. He is most definately gay."

"Nah," said Elena. "You'll see."

You gotta love the confidence.

With that, they left, leaving me alone in the security room.

Just then who should walk in the room but the mysterious guard. The one that fucked me.

He noticed my breast. Now, that happens covered, too, but, you know, transparent.

"Where is everyone?" he said. "And you came back."

"Long story and yes," I said. "Looking for you. Want to fuck?"

I'm pretty blunt these days.

"Oh God, I want to say yes," he said. "But I'm in a relationship now and she would not be forgiving."

"Then we should invite her to join us and take away any objections," I said.

He laughed.

"Well, that would be an ideal outcome," he said. He got a bit of a funny look.

"I have told her the story and she thought it was pretty sexy," he said, in a deeper voice.

"Bring her up on a video call," I said. And he did. We're standing next to each other.

She appears to be staring at my tit with a little fire. Not good fire.

"Oh," I said. "He had nothing to do with it. Long story. Tears. Not his."

"Wow," she said. "That's a lot of tears."

"Yeah," I said. "So here's the deal. Just gonna be blunt. I came looking for. Oh, what's your name?"

"Pascal," he said. "She is Lucie."

"You really didn't know his name. I thought he made up that part," she said, with a laugh. "I'm not sure I even completely believed it happened. Wouldn't you have been like 15 at the time?"

"Yeah," I said. "It was stupid of me but I'm a horny little thing. Which leads up to this call. I just tried to seduce Pascal and he said no," I said. "Pretty freaking honorable of him. I suggested that we invite you to join us and make it a threesome. Heck we can make it a foursome if you have a dream cock."

"Tomas," they both said. Now I'm laughing.

Oh, I waited.

"Seriously?" she said. "That's not just some bullshit fairytale?"

Oh, I still waited and finally she laughed and said it.

"Why don't you meet us at my apartment and you can pay that off in person while I go down on you," I said. See. Still blunt.

"Now? Pascal has to work," she said.

"His big boss gave him the rest of the day off," I said. "It's all worked out. Pending your agreement, of course."

"Fuck yeah," she said.

"OK," I said. "If Tomas gets there before us, don't wear him out."

Oh, I am taking them to Nibiru.

So taking them. No, Priapus. It is my new favorite. Pascal already has a big cock.

On Priapus it will, well you get the idea.

We might have a security problem though. I just let Brice and Pascal leave.

Oops.

Which is when Della and Nylah walked into the room, in their fatigues, with big ass ion guns strapped to their backs.

Pascal's eyes are going back and forth between them.

I get it, I get it. Our definition of fatigues is yoga shorts and a tight crop top. They both look amazing.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry," said Pascal. "You're children."

"Well," said Nylah. "I'm too young for you to fuck right now, but Della isn't."

Which is when Colby ran in, wearing basically the same outfit. Did I mention they're skintight?

God, he's gorgeous. OK, Pascal is, but I meant Colby.

"Thanks, Mom Rylee," said Colby, with a little smirk.

"Just testing it out," added Colby.

Pascal appears confused.

"Rylee will soon marry our Moms and Dad and be our third mom," said Nylah.

"Sure, sure, your third mom," said Pascal. "You're all living the dream."

Now, all of this was in French, of course.

"Let's go," I said, taking Pascal's hand.

As we walked, I gave him the can but don't have to speech.

Thank God my apartment is close. We kind of speed walked. We got there just as Lucie and Tomas arrived from opposite directions.

We did the introductions and the tension is high. Sexual tension. It is a good thing. And possibly a Marvin Gaye song.

Which is right when an S-88 dropped to the ground and put its stairs down. Tomas just smiled and led us on the plane.

We flew up for a bit and into a cloud and when we came out there were three suns.

We freaking love Priapus. It turns out Orlando was on Priapus with a big group, too.

Our groups enjoyed each other.

So much cum.

So much.

And yes, Pascal paid off the jinx with Lucie while I was going down on her. Now, at the time, Bob was fucking me and Orlando was fucking Pascal. Oh, and Lucie was blowing Luke.

Vigorously.

So nice to renew old acquaintances.

I like Paris

Let me back up. I really like Paris and yes I can sign up an apartment any time I want. But I like Paris and as the owner of the Louvre, I felt like I should have a place. Don't forget, this is a little out of order. The Louvre purchase isn't quite done.

But back to an apartment. I hope you realize this is Rylee.

So I setup an appointment with Jean Paul. I have not met Jean Paul. I have read about Jean Paul. I will have Jean Paul.

Hopefully. He might turn me down.

That would be a first for me. I know, that sounds pompous, but apparently a sexual encounter with me is a win.

I do practice. A lot. Ya gotta practice to keep your skills up.

Anyway.

I'm at the Hotel George V. He's meeting me for breakfast to discuss the kind of place I want. As tempting as it was to order breakfast in bed, we're actually going to look at apartments. I walked in and he was already at a table and just jumped to his feet.

I love a polite man. I particularly love a polite man that is tall, ripped, and has a thick uncut 7-inch (18 cm) cock.

Our journal entries are pretty descriptive.

"It is such an honor to meet you," said Jean Paul.

"No it is not," I said, with perhaps a little too much heat. Jean Paul even laughed a little.

"Those two feelings are not mutually exclusive," he said.

Hmm.

"I guess I never thought of it that way," I said.

"Honestly, you're the most unassuming world leaders I have ever met," said Jean Paul.

"You've met a lot of world leaders?" I said.

"Just you all," said Jean Paul.

Which was why we were laughing when the waiter walked up.

Complete with a sneer.

You see we'd been speaking English. American English.

OK, I might even understand the sneer a little bit.

It was also why we both ordered in flawless French.

That confused the waiter just a bit.

Let's up our game. You see, I suspect the waiter is Algerian. He's a little too Arabic for French. That's not a slight or a racist statement, just a visual fact.

"Do you prefer Arabic?" I said. "Or do you prefer Tamazight."

The two official languages of Algeria.

Did I mention that the first half of the sentence was in perfect Algerian Arabic, which is a bit different, and the second was in Tamazight, also known as Berber.

He is staring at me now. It took him a moment to realize he was staring directly at my tits.

Honestly, I don't blame him.

"I speak both," he said, in Tamazight. "How in the world do you speak it?"

I think he was testing me.

I think it confused him when I laughed.

"I speak a number of languages," I said, still in Tamazight.

"How many?" he asked.

"I have no idea," I said. "I'm fluent in five or six hundred."

In French.

Now they're both staring.

"Come on," I said. "That can't surprise you. Everyone in our school system can speak at least a few hundred."

"You're from Dionysus," said the waiter, still in Tamazight. With considerable lust.

"Tell you what," I said. "I don't have time on this trip, but write down your name and phone number. Next time I am here, we can fuck."

OK, Jean Paul's moan was a little unexpected, but I had switched back to French.

I have never seen someone write down their contact info faster.

And breakfast was spectacular.

"So tell me more about what you're looking for?" said Jean Paul. "Or we could just go to the house you're going to buy."

"Oh, a little bold there," I said.

"Here's the deal," said Jean Paul. "It is the nicest home for sale right now and it is truly glorious. A little overdone, but that's correctable. If you want to spend that much, it is spectacular."

"How much?" I said.

"It is 80 million euros," said Jean Paul.

"Sure," I said.

"Sure?" he said, with some surprise. "You don't need to think about it?"

"It is likely that the companies I own earned me more than that in the time it has taken us to have breakfast," I said.

"Wow," he said.

Yeah, what can I say.

"I know that sounded ridiculous and we don't quite understand it, but I really think we're doing good in the world," I said.

"Yeah," said Jean Paul. "That's for sure."

"Let's go see it," I said. I stood up quickly.

Oh yes, they bounced.

I did laugh that the entire family at the next table moaned.

More power to ya, folks.

"How far away is it?" I asked.

"About a 3 km drive," he said.

"What about walking?" I said.

"Less. Less than 2," said Jean Paul.

"Off we go," I said. Now, I should have cleared this up. He's not in a suit and dress shoes. He's in shorts and a polo with cross trainers.

He knows us pretty well.

We had the nicest walk. He is genuinly a nice guy. I enjoyed the conversation. I am going to enjoy fucking even more.

I enjoy fucking.

"So tell me about the house," I said, as we walked. For some reason I took his hand which made him smile. Just a gorgeous man walking with a sexy teenage girl.

Not that uncommmon in our world.

"Six bedroom, six bath, 1,237 square meters, surprisingly it is new construction, too," said Jean Paul.

"Over 11,000 square feet. In Paris," I said.

"Yes," he said. "Plus an indoor lap pool, an exercise room, a home theater, and a commercial kitchen."

"Oh, and an in-home club, complete with dance floor," he added.

"Seriously?" I said and he laughed and nodded.

"Do you dance?" I asked and he laughed again.

"Three years of dance class when I was younger," he said.

"Well then, we'll test it out," I said. "Then we'll shower together and test out other rooms."

"I love it when a plan comes together," he said. Now we're both laughing as we walked up to the house. Who doesn't love a nice A Team reference.

"Nice," I said. "A little overdone with all the gables, but nice."

"My reaction, too," he said. "The same on the inside, but nothing really that bad. The price is furnished, but you'll want to bring in a designer to redo most of it."

Probably. Oh no, I might have to spend time with Diane. And Cepos.

I will manage somehow.

Oh, look who just walked up.

Diane and Cepos.

"Why are we here?" asked Diane. I just pointed at the house.

"I'm Cepos," said Cepos, to Jean Paul. "This is my sister, Diane."

"We're christening the house," I said. "You must join us."

"Oh yeah," they both said. Cepos got it out first.

Diane held up her finger and then pointed at the house, which made Cepos laugh, but he waited for his kiss.

"Your world is fun," said Jean Paul.

"Yes!" we all screamed. I said it this time, but will hold on that, too.

We went inside and surprisingly did a walk through before we fucked.

Imagine that. We finally ended up in the master.

"Great bones, terrible result," said Diane. "We can fix it up."

"What exactly is your role?" said Jean Paul.

"I'm the designer. Cepos takes my designs and finds the craftspeople to make it happen," said Diane.

"Wonderful," said Jean Paul. That could have been about the designs. It also could have been about the fact that while sharing that Diane undressed.

Probably the latter.

We used up those men. Jean Paul is quite skilled. We started with Diane and me cowgirl on Jean Paul and Cepos. Yes, my first was Cepos.

First.

My second was Jean Paul and Cepos. Jean Paul in the front, Cepos in the back. It was a nice touch that Diane was also fucking Jean Paul with a surprisingly large double-ended dildo. It required some athleticism. We work out so we're ready for situations like this.

Diane and I also played while we were watching them take turns fucking each other.

Wouldn't you?

I like my new place.

I already put the extra rooms in the app. Tomorrow it is likely to be full.

Whee!

Saving his mom

I don't know how these things happen but these things happen and that sentence made sense even though it is never going to stop.

This is Elena. I am with Brice. Now, we're on an important mission and I am very hopeful that the end result will be positive. I am also hopeful that Brice and I will then tumble into bed for a glorious weekend.

With Nick.

And Pierre.

"OK," I said. "Let's go see your mom. Tell me more."

"I don't know much more," said Brice. "All I know I heard from my little sister."

Interesting.

"Tell me what you know and more about your sister," I said. I was careful to keep lust out of my voice. We have to practice. We're pretty lustful.

"She's my half-sister and shouldn't have to be dealing with this. Odette is only 10," said Brice. "I love her so much."

Maybe in a different way soon. No, that's not inappropriate. Just the facts, ma'am. Not many will get that old cultural reference.

Frida just looked at her medical records and I am sad to say it is bleak. An entirely treatable cancer left too long.

Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck and not in a good way.

I do want to meet Pierre, but that can wait. Brice let him know what was going on and that he'd be away for a bit. I even spoke to Pierre a bit to assure him this was about Suzette.

And I know lust in a voice.

But we'll come back to that.

We're off to Robertville. Frida already picked up Suzette and Odette. You may remember Mila from when Cassie started medical school. Lived in the guest house. Flew in from Berlin.

She's meeting us. She's at Moffit, in Tampa, now, and is widely considered the number one oncologist in the world.

That can't surprise you.

We landed at the hospital in Robertville. Yes, a true hospital. The islands have grown so big that we have a hospital on Aether and Eros now. Good size hospitals. People in Dionyus are generally healthier, so we have less need, but not zero need.

All three planes landed essentially together. Mila came down one set of stairs. Down another came a young woman who ran over and just leaped into Brice's arms and started crying.

Understandably so.

Frida came off the plane holding Suzette's arm. She's clearly lost a lot of weight and is shaky. Very shaky. Now, you may remember the idea that Mindy and Cassie had about cancer. We're still working through it, but the tests on animals have been quite positive.

We may be jumping to a human trial a little earlier than planned. Now, we're not as constrained as the US or other countries, but we're not nuts. Suzette's prognosis is grim.

This may be our only option.

I followed them in. Frida led us onto the elevator and to a room on the oncology floor. We stayed out until they got her settled and then we all went in.

Frida, Mila, and me.

Suzette and Odette, with Brice.

We did the introductions and then Mila took over.

"First I want to address that we're not your typical doctors," said Mila. "Frida runs our medical schools globally. I lead our global oncology practice. We both report to Elena, who runs anything medical related globally for Dionysus."

Odette laughed.

"You can't possibly believe you're incognito at this point," said Odette. "Especially to any family dealing with a serious cancer diagnosis. Mom's pretty freaking sick and the US healthcare system sucks. I fear we're too late."

Suzette looks both devastated and proud. We get it.

"Suzette, perhaps we should speak to you privately," I said.

"Fuck that," said Odette. "This affects Brice and me. Hell, I have no one else. If she dies, I go into the fucking system. Brice doesn't even live in the United States!"

No one challenged her for the profanity. We get it.

"OK, let me solve that one first," I said. "You won't go into the system. We will work with you to find you the right solution."

"I'll adopt her," said Brice, with some heat.

"That's an option," I said.

"He could do that? How could he do that? He couldn't do that," said Odette, just firing out her words.

"He could," I said. "But it isn't necessary. You're now a dual citizen and a legal adult. You could just move to any school that has boarding. We can get into the details. You could just move in with Brice and go to the Sorbonne or just live on campus. Take that off the table as something to worry about. We have your back."

"The other option, which is my preference, is to save your mom's life," said Mila.

"Well, that seems better," said Suzette, just so stoicly.

Yes it does.

"OK, here's the blunt part," said Mila. "You should have had surgery months ago. We all know it. We will get to the bottom of why you didn't, but it likely comes down to money and we all know that, too. My suggestion is 100% experimental and could accelerate you death or cure you. Or it could do nothing and your cancer will progress. We would try chemo and radiation, but it won't work, and it will make your last days simply horrible."

"So you're throwing us the smallest of a lifeline," said Odette, with some heat.

"Yes," said Mila. "I am. We have a new treatment. We have tested it in mice. We have tested it on one chimp. It worked every time. However, it has risks and we have never tried it on a human and honestly are not at the point where we should. In the US, it would be unlikely we would get approval."

"So what is the treatment?" said Odette, who appears to be in charge. Suzette and Brice are letting her lead and are clearly damn proud of her for doing it.

"In simple terms, we use a very focused ion gun to vaporize the tumor in place. If it works perfectly, we will vaporize only the tumor. There is no surgery. It isn't invasive at all," said Mila.

"And if something goes wrong?" said Odette.

"We vaporize your mom," said Mila.

"That seems like a bad side effect," said Odette, just so seriously.

Then she started laughing. Then we all started laughing. We finally calmed down.

"I want to do it," said Suzette. "Here's my thinking. If it works, it is a win. If it doesn't, then you likely learn something and it will help people in the future. My only loss is a little time and I don't have much of that. Honestly, as horrible as my death will be, being vaporized seems like an acceptable outcome."

We all just thought about it for a bit.

Then Odette climbed up onto the bed and laid down next to her mom and hugged her.

"I don't want to lose you," she said.

I could give you all the details about the next few days, but how about I just jump ahead.

100% success.

Remember, this was Cassie and Mindy's idea. It works. Perfectly.

Odette and Suzette moved to Paris and are living with Brice now. No, not in his tiny apartment.

Have you met us?

Brice and Odette are much closer now. Suzette has already expressed an interest when she is strong enough, which should be soon. For now, she just enjoys watching.

Sometimes watching is a win.

Oh, and Pierre is not gay.

Just cruisin' along

I am so damn bored. My days just linger. I mean come on. I don't have much going on. ER attending. President of NYU Medical school. President of NYU. Professor.

Mom.

Just a distracted 13-year-old playing on her phone.

But you know something? I learned a fun little fact. The directors of the Museum of Modern Art and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Moma and the Met respectively, hate each other.

Seriously hate each other.

For those that don't know, they are the two largest art museums in New York City. Competitive. Totally different, too.

Now, here's the really funny part.

They're identical twins. Me? I think they haven't fucked each other enough.

Like maybe never. What's up with that?

Now, why is this small piece of trivia important to me? Well, I love both museums. What little downtime I have, I spend in one or the other. It all just speaks to me.

But that's not why I love them the most. Along with the library, both were refuge for me. Well dressed homeless child hooker, remember?

Ah New York.

I still haven't wandered into the point of this story.

You see the two aforementioned gentlemen are going to have to work together now.

Because I bought both museums. Fucking nuts.

But I did. You've read about our acquiring other museums. I'm in New York. I like art. I love these two musuems. Both have security teams that let me sleep overnight. Often they'd give me the couch in their break room.

I fucked a lot on that couch.

Now, before you scream coersion, it wasn't. I've always loved sex. Just not what I experienced.

I happily put out.

In about five minutes I'm meeting with both brothers where I will tell them of the new ownership. Neither knows the other is coming.

Did I mention Amai is joining the meeting? I thought a good counselor was in order.

And we'll fuck later. But that was implied.

You know what kind of blew me away? I had my assistant reach out and ask for a meeting and that they come to me.

Both quickly agreed. I'm freaking 13. I kind of feel like an imposter sometimes.

That happens a lot in our world. It is unbelievable to us, too.

We know we're blessed. Hell, I'm alive!

Ah the door just opened. Fuck. I don't know which one it is!

"Hello," said Amai, sticking her hand out to him, which he instinctively took. "My name is Amai."

"A pleasure to meet you, Amai," he said. "I'm Andrew with the Met."

"Of course you are!" said Amai. "You're quite well-known."

OMG. OK, really well played.

"May I introduce you to my friend, Cassie," said Amai.

"So pleased to meet you," said Andrew. "It is an honor."

"No it's not," I said. "I'm just a girl that got lucky."

"If that's how you feel, I respect that, but it is not the worldview of you," said Andrew. "You're one of a group of Dionysus heroes in New York."

I am pretty sure my eyes rolled into the back of my head.

"He's right," said Amai. "You know it. Embrace it."

"OK then," I said. "Let's just move on."

That's when the door opened.

Anthony. His brother.

I could tell they are trying hard to hold it together. No meltdowns in front of the doctor.

"What are you doing here, Andrew?" asked Anthony.

"I asked him," I said. "I asked you both. Let's sit down and I'll explain."

Yes it was a little mean. Yes we did it on purpose. You see, my office has a love seat. A two-person couch. It faces two individual chairs.

In which Amai and I quickly sat.

Leaving them the couch.

We had to know how they would react.

I admit we were both a bit surprised when they laughed.

And sat right down next to each other.

And held hands.

And got hard.

Interesting. Oh. Got it.

"Let me guess," I said. "The feud is entirely an act and generates fabulous publicity. On another note, you've been lovers almost since birth and are hopeful that you're about to get swept into Dionysus so you can finally admit your love and get married. You're also hopeful that the four of us will get naked and will be thrilled to know that Amai has a fantastic ass cock."

They looked at each other and then both turned back to us.

"Pretty much," said Andrew.

And now all four of us are laughing.

I looked at Amai and she laughed.

Now she and I are both stripping.

To my surprise, Andrew and Anthony beat us to naked.

God, our meetings are fun. Three outies and one innie. OK, plenty of alternative innies, but you get my point.

We deferred the actual meeting for a couple hours.

I did laugh when my assistant walked, dropped something on my desk, watched for a few minutes, and left.

"He could have joined in," said Andrew.

Who is in the middle of a train with his brother in front and Amai in the back.

Oh, I'm at the very front of this fine train.

Still loving my job.

"He knows," I said, panting a bit.

The door opened right back up and in walked Kedar. My assistant.

Already naked. And hard. Yes, a male assistant.

It got better from there. But you knew that.

"So how do we explain the feud to married in an instant," said Andrew. We're all lying on the carpet. Naked and sated.

Sated. Come on. Reward me.

Repeatedly.

"Own it," said Amai, while still panting just a little. "Tell them it was an act for publicity. Say it with a smile."

"That would be simple," said Anthony. He looked over at his brother and holy shit they both got hard again.

Surprising. We thought we wore them out.

So we took a break and watched them fuck each other.

"Your meetings are better than our meetings," said Anthony when he laid back down.

"Ah, ain't it great that you're part of Dionysus now?" I said. "This is just a typical meeting."

"Ours are focused on where we can find $10 in our budget," said Anthony with a laugh.

"Yeah, that's not a problem anymore," I said. "Just don't outbid other museums we own. Figure out how to make it fair. Trade things. You don't really have a budget limit. Then again, we're open to recommendations of museums to acquire."

"So if I told you that the Maurithuis museum in The Hague is worth buying, you would consider it," said Anthony.

"Sure, but you wasted a step in that process. If you think it is worth buying, go buy it," I said. "Although we already own that one. Bought it yesterday."

"Of course you did," said Anthony in such a wonderfully laconic tone.

Laconic. Am I right?

Andrew and Anthony are going to fit in really well.

Then again, they already did.

You get my point, right? I sure got theirs!

We like art, too!

We do. We've been to many of the mentioned museums. We particularly love both Tate Modern and the National Gallery in London.

So we're going to try to buy them. We thought we'd start right at the top!

With Liz. Our buddy Liz. You know. The Queen of England.

I should mention this is Tegan. My travel partner is Carlina.

Nothing could go wrong there, now could it. There is never controversy around us.

Stop laughing.

I suppose dropping in at Windsor castle and asking to see the Queen might have been a tad informal. Particularly given Carlina and I weren't in the first wave to get to know Liz.

But we were in wave two. Liz really loves Legoland. We have a deal with her that absolutely any day she wants to go, we'll come back and go with her. We literally told her that anyone in the kingdom would come take her. Her choice. No notice required.

Which explains how Carlina and I know Liz. She texted Mary Lou that she wanted to go to Legoland the next day with Carlina and me.

Fuck yeah, we went. Legoland. With the Queen. Liz. And her girlfriend.

OK, I'll come back to that.

But today. Windsor Castle. We walked in the front door and there is a reception desk and a desk for a tour.

"Hi," said Carlina. "We'd like to see Queen Elizbeth please? Tell her Carlina and Tegan are here."

The dude behind the counter was stiff upper lip British

And he laughed.

Then he ignored us. Like we were not even there. Started talking to the next person that came in the door.

So I texted Liz. Sure we have her digits. We just stood off to the side. It couldn't have been five minutes before Liz came through the door from the family quarters. Hell yes, I texted her directly. I admit it was the first time I have ever seen Liz run. I suspect that is true of everyone in this room.

Good for her.

"I'm so excited!" she shouted as she got close. Sounding surprisingly like a teenage girl.

Good for her.

She gave us both big bosom clenching hugs. Who doesn't love that!

"Let's go have tea," said Liz.

"Sure," said Carlina. "Anyplace in particular?"

"The moon," said Liz.

"Sure," we both said. I admit, I said it quietly. Now Liz is just staring at us.

No. Surely not. No way.

She's just a waitin'.

So I kissed Carlina. Right after I noticed Beatrix had joined us.

I held back a bit. No puddles in the castle.

"That was a good kiss, not a great kiss. I know you can do better," said Liz.

Then she pulled Beatrix in for a kiss. They did not hold back. Luckily they held each other up.

I suspect the evening news is going to be interesting tonight, particularly given there are dozens of phones recording and they have been since Liz ran out.

Well, it is Carlina and me. This kind of thing just follows us around.

"Come on, come on," said Liz, waving us to follow her.

"You have to sign in!" shouted the guard. You know. The one that laughed at us.

We went through the door all laughing, including Liz.

I don't think he appreciated it.

We walked down to a small sitting room. Yes we've been here before. Liz and Beatrix are great fun. Liz plopped down on the couch and pulled her legs up and under herself. A classic kids move.

I doubt she does it with everyone. Beatrix is on the couch next to her. They're occasionally kissing.

I suspect that's not for everyone either.

"You know our plane can drop right outside," said Carlina. "Let's head up."

"Oh, I was just kidding," said Liz.

"Why?" I asked. "Seriously. This is trival to us."

"And it is a Gamma resort," added Beatrix, with a laugh. Which made us all laugh. Including Queen Elizabeth.

Well sure.

"It's not like we could do anything like that," said Liz.

"Well," said Carlina, stretching it to several syllables. "You could, with 100% discretion. Just in the family quarters. I'm sure a lot of fun people will be there."

"It's not like anyone would want to be with two old women," said Beatrix.

"You don't understand our culture at all," I said. "It can be confusing. Carlina and I would get naked with you right now. Literally everyone we know would. You're amazing, powerful, funny women. Hell yes."

"So King Bob," said Liz, letting her voice drift off.

"Sure," said Carlina. "With Luke and Orlando if you'd like. Or maybe Pari and Rylee. Literally anyone."

That's as far as I am going to tell that story. I'll jump ahead to proposing the museum purchases. I'll let you use your imagination. It won't be as great as the experience.

I like Liz. A lot.

We did end up buying both museums. As it turns out, they were private and it had nothing to do with Liz and Beatrix.

But we sure had fun.

Feels like a conflict of interest

It does feel like a bit of a conflict. Ex-president buys the national museum. Part of the Smithsonian.

Oh, hold up. Why am I just buying the one?

I should buy the entire Smithsonian.

I'm meeting with Kyrsten in the Oval Office with Lonnie, who is the Secretary of the Smithsonian. In other words, the boss.

You do know this is Chris, right?

I was led in and gave Kyrsten a big hug, which surprised Lonnie. Lonnie is a cool guy. We've met before at social functions. Hey, the President can have parties at a Smithsonian Museum. Who knew?

I should tell a story or two. I am pleased that the Federal government has embraced the concept of a family bathroom. Can you imagine the President getting caught coming out of a family bathroom with a 9-year-old boy? Given I was a 15-year-old girl it probably would have gone better than any of the earlier Presidents.

Damn, they were fun parties though. And I never got caught. At least by anyone that tattled. Then again a few that caught me got dragged right into the bathroom.

I was a fun President. What was my risk? They would fire me?

So, back on track. Lonnie is in charge of the entire museum. All of them. He's a cool dude. Graduated from Howard, a true HBCU. He was the director of the National Museum of African American History and Culture. He was the founding director and really helped design the entire museum and exhibits.

Hey, I looked him up in Wikipedia. I also find that museum amazing if not a little overwhelming.

Back to the meeting. Oh, he got a hug, too. Hell, I'd do him on the oval office floor, but that likely wouldn't be an option.

Although Kyrsten would happily join in.

Now I am at a meeting getting wet and thinking about a threesome.

OK, not that unusual. I played a game through my entire presidency. Would I do them. Every single person I met.

You can imagine the most common answer. A few made it to the family bathroom. Off the Oval Office.

"Always a pleasure to see you," said Lonnie, as we sat down. "Kyrsten and I were just having a laugh that with all the museum buying Dionysus has been doing that you're probably here to offer to buy the Smithsonian."

There has never, in my life, been a better time to just wait them out.

So I did.

Kyrsten bit first.

"Oh, come on," said Kyrsten. "Sell the Smithsonian? Unless you've got a couple trillion on the table that would make a healthy dent in our debt, let's just go have lunch."

Still got nothin' to say.

"Seriously," said Lonnie. "She just said trillion. Two of them."

OK, they don't have to know it was my opening bid.

"We will forgive two trillion in your bonds," I said.

"You have two trillion in US bonds?" said Lonnie, with some surprise.

OMG. Kyrsten snorted.

I may never speak again.

She realized I was waiting and laughed.

"Do you actually own it all?" said Kyrsten.

OK, worth answering if just for the fun of it.

"Yes," I said.

Well, we do. Almost $30 trillion.

That's their debt. It is one of our assets.

Kinda rich over here. How in the fuck?

"How in the fuck?" said Lonnie.

See!

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said.

"It is OK," I laughed. "I'm from Dionysus. I'm familiar with the word fuck."

OK, the moan was unexpected.

"I sense an appreciation of Dionysus," I said. "Grandkids?"

He looked like the proverbial deer in a headlight.

"Oh, don't look shocked, Lonnie," said Kyrsten. "Chris would do you on the carpet right now."

Well, I would.

I'm just over here nodding.

Lonnie's look changed a bit. More philosophical.

"You're an exceptional young woman," said Lonnie. "I literally don't consider you a child. I don't even think about it. You're an incredibly well-respected former President of the United States. You live on the same planet, but you don't live in the same world."

That's kind of a cool way to explain it.

"I am sure you will want your own leader," he added. "I will submit my formal resignation immediately."

"Not after that compliment," I said, which made Kyrsten laugh. "Please don't. We would be honored if you would remain in the role and immediately offer you and your extended family citizenship."

Hey, compliment me and I give you a gift.

"I assume that includes making his home a consulate?" said Kyrsten.

Thanks for the softball there, Kyrsten.

"Of course," I said.

Oh, that's gonna stain. I probably shouldn't have said it just as he was taking a drink of coffee. Spit it all right out.

"That's gonna stain," said Kyrsten.

"Nah," I said. "You'd be surprised the stains that came right out of this carpet."

Now they're both staring at me.

"Hey," I said, with some indignation. "I like Coke Zero. I am sometimes clumsy."

They both started to stammer something. I couldn't hold it and laughed.

"But I wasn't talking about Coke Zero," I said, still laughing.

Now they are imagining where the stains came from.

We'll just let them imagine. The truth is not nearly as titilating as they would expect.

Oh, I am so getting rewarded for titilating.

Back to the conversation.

"Listen," I said. "I'd love to meet your family. You know our world. We've completely given up hiding anything. Let's close this deal. I'm heading to Clearwater for the weekend. Let's load up your family and we can all get to know each other a lot better. I'll take you all into space, too."

Just so casually. I'll take you into space.

"We still use rockets," commented Kyrsten.

"Because we don't trust you," I said.

"Probably fair," said Kyrsten.

"That's why you control the technology? Not because you are production constrained?" said Lonnie.

"Nah, we have plenty of them. You're the historian. Would you trust any of these yahoos with easy access to space?" I said.

"Hey!" said Kyrsten. "OK, probably still fair."

Lonnie mulled it over for a bit.

"No fucking way," he said. Which was why all three of us were just convulsing with laughter when Barb walked in.

She didn't say a word. Just waited us out.

So I invited her and Davis to Clearwater.

Yum.

"The Gang of Seven is here for a meeting," said Barb. "I don't show it on my calendar."

"I invited them," I said. "I figured you'd want to brief them on the offer."

"A little presumptuous, there," said Kyrsten.

"Was it?" I said. "Would you make the decision alone? Yes or no?"

"Fair enough," she said, which made all of us but Barb laugh.

I absolutely love that Lonnie is as silly as Kyrsten and I are.

Perhaps I should reward him.

Repeatedly. With Leslie. And Orlando. And Morgan. Hey, the OG four is pretty fun.

Trust me.

They all filed in and I briefed them on all the details. No moving museums. Always free. Expand the collection. All the basics. Now, we did reserve the right to do loans, including private loans.

Oh, and we get to fly any of the planes we want.

National Air and Space museum, don't ya know.

Then again, there is a spot in our breakfast nook perfect for Van Gogh's self portrait.

Kidding. That picture is a downer.

We met on Monday. The required bills passed for Kyrsten's signature on Thursday.

I threw in a $100 billion bonus if they got it done by Friday.

Hey. We were having a party.

I like zoos

I like zoos. I do. I like them a lot. I'm not thrilled that the animals are in such small habitats, but damn they're cool. They do appear to appreciate someone to talk to as well. Oh, this is Jessica, although it could have been a lot of us. We like zoos. And we can think to animals.

Of course I can talk to them all. We all can. For the most part they're all pretty happy. They've got a bit of room to roam, they are well fed, and they tend to fuck a lot.

Hmm. That might describe us just perfectly.

You know I bought the St. Louis zoo and am putting in a lot of investment. The entire zoo is only 90 acres, but Forest Park is 1,300 acres.

The zoo got bigger. The park has been improved. Come on. I already own the zoo and the golf course. The rest was pretty simple. Communities love the idea. We turn parks from community owned with taxes paying for it to privately owned, free, and tax paying.

Yes free.

So I don't do things in a small way, except, you know, existing, being 5 and all. I found an article of the 50 Best Zoos in the World. Beyond the bad writing of starting the sentence with a number, it was a pretty nice list. So do I start at the top and work my way down or the bottom and work my way up? Dad went from the bottom with beer, but he was trying to be a little more discrete. He failed, but you gotta love that he tried.

I am going to start at the top. Knock off a few of those and the others will be easier. So I built another microsite about Dionysus Zoos and had an entire sub-section on our buying your community's zoo.

It is taking a team to buy them all. But some I do myself. Do you know why?

Because I freaking like zoos. Come on. That one was easy.

So San Diego. Number one on any list you can find. I love the zoo. I go all the time. I have an annual pass to everything in Balboa Park.

I'll tell a funny story about visiting the model train museum, but it all led up to the inevitable.

Let's do it in order. The model train museum.

I like model trains. They're very cool. Bill loves model trains. I think they appeal to his surgical skills. It takes real care and expertise to built the layouts and the trains. I'll let Bill go on that tangent.

So the museum. It is downstairs and simply huge. It is 3,000 square meters. Over 27,000 square feet. They have O, HO, and N gauge displays. Large, medium, and small trains.

They also have a donation box at the entrance. That didn't surprise us, but there were pretty large sections of the museum that were blocked off due to a lack of funds. They were discrete, but we understood.

Fuck that.

This is silly. This is Bill's tangent. Did I mention our suite at the Hotel Del Corando tonight?

It is going to be epic.

I'm rich as fuck

We really are stupid fucking rich. It is the only life I know. I spend a lot of my time trying to give it away.

Then again, I'm 5. Bill, here.

I don't like it when lack of funds stops something that interests me. I pulled up the website for the train museum. I figured out who all the key execs are, but first I am going to make a donation. The sign at the entrance desk said you can put a donation on a credit card.

I wonder if they have a scanner?

"Hi," I said, to the young woman behind the counter. Darcy. Name tags, don't ya know. I will, somehow, in this converstaion, find out if she is the teenager I think she is.

Why?

Did we mention the suite at the Hotel Del?

We like fun dinner companions. And breakfast companions.

She looked up and gave me the most luminous smile. She has freaking perfect teeth. She's also symetrical, which is rare. I notice things.

"Did you know that you're symetrical?" I asked, and she laughed.

"Yes, but you're the first person to ever mention it," she said. "My parents noticed it when I was younger. Only one in the family that is."

"It really heightens your beauty," said Jessica. "Even subconciously."

"That's what they tell me, but my love life wouldn't support that position," she said. "How can I help you?"

"Well, two things," I said. "Do you have a handheld scanner on your credit card machine?"

She reached under the counter and held one up.

"Great," I said. "I'd like to make a donation." I pointed at my right earring.

"You want me to scan your earring. The earring of a kindergartner," she said, with just a little polite disbelief.

"Yes, and I'm not a kindergartner," I said.

"I have to put in an amount first," she said.

"Twenty-five million dollars," I said, and she burst out laughing.

"Somehow I think this is going to be a decline," she said. She typed it in while still laughing and then scanned my earring.

"Holy shit," she said. "It went through."

Now she's looking from Jessica to me and back.

"You said two things, but first, if you're not a kindergartner, what grade are you in? I'm a sophmore in high school," she said.

So 15 or 16.

Yay.

Jessica sighed.

"Oh!" she said. "You're not in kindergarten yet."

"I have 63 PhDs," said Jessica. "He's the Chief Medical Officer at Harvard."

Darcy laughed.

We just waited. You see it. They know they should know something.

And bam. They do.

I expected a moan, but she controlled it. I admit, the moans are kind of a compliment.

"Would you like to go to dinner with us and then spend a passionate night in our suite at the Hotel Del Coranado?" said Jessica.

I guess we're not being subtle.

"Oh yeah," said Darcy. I saw something pass on her face. Really quickly.

Jessica did, too.

"Brother? Sister?" asked Jessica.

"Both," she said. "Adam and Eve. They're twins. 9."

We're going to just ignore their names for a moment.

"Yum," said Jessica. "How handy we both have an exception and that we own the Hotel Del. Invite them along."

"Like that's going to happen," said Darcy.

"Dial your mom and hand me the phone," said Jessica. Oh, this was going to be interesting. "What's her name?"

"Isobel," said Darcy.

"Hi, is this Isobel?" asked Jessica. "Good, good. My name is Jessica and I am at the museum with my brother, Bill. We just invited Darcy to spend a passionate overnight stay in our suite at the Hotel Del. She suggested we invite Adam and Eve. That seemed like a great idea and I wanted to confirm that it was OK to send a JetsonCar. Yes, yes, that Bill and Jessica. Oh yes. We have an exception. We'll fuck until the boys can't anymore and then the girls will play until we just can't anymore either. Over and over."

Jessica listened to a bit. Darcy is just sitting there a bit stunned.

"Great!" said Jessica. "Let's do this. What part of town are you in? Perfect. Do either of you golf? You both do? Even better. There will be a suite waiting for you and your husband at the Lodge at Torrey Pines. All expenses paid. Wipe out the mini-bar if you want. Let them know when you check in what tee time you'd like in the morning and they'll arrange it. Allow yourselves enough time to check out the clubs at the pro shop. They'll arrange for you to use any sets you like. Yes, yes, any."

"Sure," added Jessica.

She handed the phone over to Darcy. We could hear Isobel's squeal.

"You're going to get fucked by Prince Bill!" said Isobel easily loud enough for us to hear. "Oh God. And by Adam, too."

Them the mom moaned.

Jessica took the phone back.

"Meet us at the Hotel Del tomorrow afternoon at 4pm," said Jessica. "We'll all have dinner than the five of you can have the suite overnight."

Jessica listened for a bit.

"Yes, yes, Dionysus rules," said Jessica. "Oh. Sure. Let me ask."

Jessica turned to Darcy.

"Is it OK if they bring both sets of grandparents?" asked Jessica.

That moan was long and deep. Darcy just can't stop moaning. And nodding.

She's slumped down in her chair just a little.

They finally ended the call, which was good timing, because a man literally ran up.

"Darcy, Darcy," he shouted. "Where did they go? Where did they go?"

We kind of inferred he was talking about the donation.

Darcy just pointed at Bill. It was hilarious. He looked all the way back at the door. He literally followed her pointing above my head.

Darcy shook her head no and tilted her arm farther down. His eyes finally settled on Bill.

This is where they show disbelief and we have to go through all the royalty shit.

"Wow," he said. "Thank you, Prince Bill."

Or maybe not.

I haven't even gotten to buying the zoo.

Favorite line: You live on the same planet, but you don't live in the same world.

Email me. Comments, ideas, and suggestions welcome

End of Chapter