2 October 2023

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I love email. If you give me a story line, I'll name a character after you. I really need ideas for fun situations. Get it?

Iowa has chosen me

Just out to visit a random hotel. The Fort Des Moines hotel in Des Moines, Iowa. Yeah, I'm goin' to Iowa.

It is actually a Curio collection by Hilton. Smaller hotels. They're going for the upscale boutique hotel. OK, I guess I'm going for the upscale boutique hotel. I'm going to see how that plays in Des Moines. I realized when I landed that I was going to out myself with my car. I hadn't even looked since I knew it was a nice day in Des Moines.

Somehow the vintage Miura wasn't going to fly. Ha. This one would. So I checked the websites of the local Mercedes and BMW dealers. Something fun with an open top. The Mercedes dealer had no convertibles. Not one. Who would have a Mercedes dealership without a single convertible? I have also reached the point in my life that I can buy a new car just for the hell of it. You know, now that I am 10. Then again, I'd be willing to bet there is a reason I am buying a car.

We'll see. I guess I should share this is Peaches.

The BMW dealer has two M8 convertibles. A gray and a white. The white one looks nice. Loaded up and all blacked out. I suppose the 10-year-old driving the M8 is only marginally better than the Miura, but hey, a new car.

There wasn't a place to land nearby. Not even a Target or Walmart, so I landed at the Jordan Creek school, formerly known as the Jordan Creek mall. I could have grabbed a pool car but that's what sent me on my web quest. No convertible pool car either. OK, no interesting convertible pool cars. I grabbed a JetsonCar from the lot. There are autonomous ones at all the schools. It dropped me in the BMW lot and flew back to the school.

I walked in the door and there it is. Right in the middle of the showroom floor.

I admit, it is gorgeous. I walked over and the story will become familiar at this point. I get it, a bit, since I am 10-years-old, but Dionysus isn't exactly new anymore. Ignored. Completely.

Finally a salesperson came up. Could he be any more cliche? Dark pants, tweed blazer in grays, dress shoes that needed a shine. White dress shoes. With a white belt.

Not exactly a physical specimen either. Now, my goal is not to body shame but be descriptive. It is not like I was going to fuck the salesperson.

"Where are your parents, little girl?" he said, in that tone that sets off kids around the world.

"I have no idea," I said.

"Are they somewhere at the dealership?" he asked, still in that tone.

"No, this late, I would assume they're in bed. In Monaco. Where they live," I said. Come on. My parents live in Monaco. These are hints, dude.

"Well then you have to leave," he said, pointing at the door. I caught something out of the corner of my eye and there was a man literally running across the sales floor. From the glimpse I saw, a younger, very attractive young man. He is running right towards us, at speed.

But he misjudged the slipperiness of the floor. He slid the last couple meters and caught the door of the M8 right at waist height. His body folded right over, and he flipped into the car. He ended up head down into the driver's seat with his legs straight up. His head is wedged against the brake pedal. His colleague just stared. Helpful there, dude.

"Ow," he said. I opened the car door, took hold of his legs, and helped turn him right side up.

He brushed himself off and seemed OK.

"It is such an honor to meet you," he said, holding out his hand. "My name is Marty. How may I help you?" The first guy just rolled his eyes and walked away.

Not taking advantage of a learning experience, now is he?

"You know who I am?" I asked and he smiled.

"Of course," he said. He pulled out his phone and on the front, in big letters, was Royal Alert, with my picture and a short bio.

"That's a little creepy," I said, and he laughed. He has a nice laugh. He is also early twenties, blonde, muscular, and freaking adorable in that I don't realize I'm gorgeous way.

"I guess it is at that," he said. "Everyone at a Dionysus owned company has the app. I think you can block it."

I pulled out my phone and brought up the Dionysus app and we wandered through settings a bit to find the right spot. Sure enough, there is a slider I can use to block my showing up.

I turned it on. It is hard to mystery shop your own hotels if an app announces you. No, wait. Now I am curious if anyone has the app. I turned it back off.

"Is there anything I can share about this car?" he said. "I admit, I am going to be a bit disappointed when it sells. It is my dream car, although we have one in gray that I like even more."

Yes they do.

"Not really," I said. "I'll take it."

"So you'd like to make an offer," he said. "Wow. Great. Do you have a price in mind?"

"Listen," I said. "You were nice to me, even if it took that app to make it happen. I'll pay sticker, to maximize your commission, but I need to go, so I need to drive it out now. I'll pay cash."

Apparently not without the finance manager pressuring me to finance the car and get the extra cost undercoating for the harsh winters. Marty stood by embarrassed.

Me too, Marty, me too.

"You realize that these tactics will lose your dealership the brand," I said, to the finance manager, who laughed.

"Like anyone is going to find out," he said, with considerable snark.

"You're selling a $150K car to a 10-year-old," I said. "Isn't that a hint that maybe you would be found out?"

It took him a minute to catch up with me, which is embarrassing all by itself. I turned to Marty.

"Are there ethical people in this dealership that you can gather together?" I said. Marty smiled and nodded.

"Are most of them here?" I asked and he nodded. He's got the nodding thing down. I turned back to the finance guy.

"You're fired," I said. "You have ten minutes to pack up your stuff and be gone."

He laughed.

"Oh boy," muttered Marty. I admit I laughed.

I pulled out my phone and looked up the finance manager. Then I looked up his mom. Yeah, we have all that info. I called his mom.

"Hi, is this Marilyn?" I asked.

"Great," I said. "Having a bit of a problem with your son, Gerald. I am afraid he has been let go from his job for fraudulent behavior and is refusing to leave the premises. Now, I can call the police and have him arrested, but I thought I'd call you first and see if you could convince him to make the right choice."

I handed the phone to Gerald, who appears to have shrunk in the seat. He finally hung up the phone and handed it back to me and got his wallet and keys from his desk and got up to leave.

"Um, Gerald," said Marty. "Leave the keys." Gerald looked at the keys in his hand and finally set it on the desk.

"There is a JetsonCar waiting," I said. The least I could do, I suppose. He walked out dejectedly. Deservingly so.

"I've gathered everyone I trust in the breakroom, minus one who isn't quite in yet," said Marty. He led the way and when we walked in, there was one person. The receptionist. Who is Marty's sibling, I would guess.

"Hi," she said, sticking out her hand. "My name is Glory. It is an honor to meet you."

"OK, both of you, it is not an honor to meet me or anyone else in the royal family of Dionysus. We're lucky as fuck and we know it but deep down we're just nice, normal people."

"She fired Gerald," said Marty. "Called his mom to make him leave."

"You called Gerald's mom?" said Glory. I just nodded.

"I think I love you," said Glory. "That's classic." Then it hit her that she had just said I love you to a 10-year-old. It freaked her a bit, and then she seemed to accept it.

"So we appear to be a bit understaffed," I said.

"Not as badly as you think," said Marty. "I only brought in the office and sales staff. The people in service, and parts, and the body shop are amazing. You clean out the top and replace the sales force, and you'll be good."

"So which one of you is the better salesperson?" I asked. They looked a little confused.

"I'm just the receptionist," said Glory.

"While that is a statement of fact, for now, it does not answer the question," I said, smiling.

"May I?" asked Marty, of Glory. She smiled and nodded.

"Are you twins?" I asked and they looked shocked. Here's the thing. Glory has gorgeous copper colored skin. Marty is white. As white as you can be.

"How in the hell?" said Marty.

"Because she saw the physical resemblance and looked past the color difference," said Glory. "We're 24. You are the first person in our lives to catch it. How?"

"You already explained how," I said. That shook them for a bit.

"I'm better at sales," said Glory. "I've never done it, but just based on the fact that Marty is much more introverted. I'm the girl in high school that knew everyone and got along with every group of kids from the nerds to the stoners, to the mean girls. I didn't always like them, but I got along with them. I think I would be better at sales. Marty is a leader though. Good with people, just not great with people. Quarterback in high school. We did laugh when we were elected king and queen of the prom, to the surprise of our dates, both of whom thought they would win."

"Because they came with you or Marty," I said. They both looked thoughtful.

"Do you think that is it?" asked Glory. "They thought they'd ride our coattails? That's hard to believe."

"Yeah, really hard to believe," said Marty.

"Both of you not understanding that is exactly why I know it is true," I said. They took a moment to digest that.

"Wow," they both said, and she said it, under her breath.

Then she looked shocked, but no more shocked than he did.

"It felt right when you were king and queen, didn't it?" I asked. "Up there on stage. Together. Probably holding hands."

I think their eyebrows bumped into the moon.

"Did you know that this is a company-owned dealership?" I asked.

"That was a weird change of direction," said Marty.

"Not for Glory," I said. Which is when she pushed Marty against the wall and kissed him with everything she had. It was quite a kiss. Long, passionate, intense. They finally broke the kiss right before Glory had an orgasm. You can tell.

"Finish the kiss," I said. Glory laughed and kissed him again and just rolled through a massive orgasm.

"You understand that we value blunt and direct, as long as you're polite," I said, and they both nodded. And are holding hands.

"I would love for you both to join me for dinner," I said. "I have a proposal to make to the two of you. Now, here's the deal. I own the hotel. Do you understand what that means?"

It took Marty a heartbeat longer, so his moan had to catch hers.

"So here's the blunt and direct part," I said. "Tonight is your night. I would welcome the opportunity for that to be with me, but understand this is a special time, so you would prefer to be alone, that's fine."

Glory snorted. She freaking snorted.

I not only waited her out, but Marty also waited her out.

"Can I?" asked Glory, of Marty. He just smiled.

"You're the one that snorted, not me," he said.

That got the nicest laugh from Glory.

"We've been in each other's bed every night since we were 4-years-old. I think you're telling us there is an opportunity to take our relationship out in the open. At least we hope so, but either way, your joining us in bed tonight is a dream come true," said Glory. I looked at Marty and he just smiled.

Which freaking pushed me over, to laughter from them both.

"OK," said Glory. "We've got cars to sell until 7. We'll meet you at 7:30 for dinner. Where are you staying?"

"Fort Des Moines, but I haven't checked in yet," I said. "Just meet me in the lobby. Do you mind if we eat in the hotel? I'd like to try the restaurant."

"It's supposed to be quite good and has the added benefit of being near your bed," said Glory.

"That is a benefit," I said.

"Should we be OK that we're this turned on about spending the night with a 10-year-old?" asked Marty.

"Did you enjoy sex with me when I was 10?" asked Glory. Marty laughed.

"Very much," he said.

"Do you feel like you coerced or pressured me or that it harmed me?" asked Glory.

"No," said Marty. "Not at all."

Glory just waited him out.

"OK," said Marty. "Thanks for helping me think that through."

Damn, they're good together.

"The beauty is that with your skin tone variation, the likelihood of anyone figuring it out now that you're engaged is near zero. No one would go there," I said.

"Engaged?" they both said.

This time he said it. I did laugh because a young salesperson walked into the break room mid-kiss and stood next to me, holding a sheaf of papers, and patiently waited until they finished.

"A very small person is out there firing the sales force," said the young man. "She told me that I was good and that I should come in here to get signoff on this deal. I am very confused and cannot find Gerald."

Glory held out her hand for the paperwork and quickly scanned it. She handed it back.

"Take off all the dealer extras," said Glory. "And it is good. We don't do those anymore."

"Well, thank God," said the young man. "Those kept me up at night."

Good call, whatever small person is out there firing people. You would think I would know, but honestly, it could have been a lot of people.

"Did the small person mention their name?" I asked. He shook his head no.

"A young woman who bears a striking resemblance to Princess Jessica," he said. That's when the light bulb went on.

"It is Princess Jessica," he said. "Wow."

"Joey," said Glory. "You want the evening sales manager job? You'll have to help me rebuild the team, since we're the only two salespeople left. You report to me, I report to Marty."

I guess we didn't need to discuss that over dinner, but I like dinner. We'll find something else to talk about. Maybe favorite sexual positions.

"Just hire all the cousins," said Joey. Glory laughed and then got a serious look on her face.

"They'd be freaking amazing at it," said Glory. "Go do that. Have them drop by tonight and fill out the applications but go ahead and put a schedule together."

"Days are going to be a bitch," said Joey. "Most of them are in school."

"Not if we buy the school system," said Marty. "There is already a big school here. Might as well expand."

"They could just move to the Dionysus school," said Joey. "It would be less complicated."

"But not as good for as many people," said Marty.

"Agreed," said Glory and Joey, who appear to be cousins.

It was one hell of a kiss. Joey looked at me and shrugged.

"She was going at it pretty hard with her twin brother when I walked in," said Joey. "It felt like it might be OK."

Suddenly Glory perked up.

"Engaged?" she said. It took me a moment. A lot happened since I said that.

"You've been engaged since you were born," I said. Glory looked at Marty who smiled and shrugged.

"She has us there," said Marty.

"Yeah," said Glory, with a touch of sadness.

Oh.

"You know trios are a thing in our world, right?" I said. All three of them looked at me.

"What?" they said. This was going to take a while.

I wandered out and sold a nice 135 convertible to the cutest older couple. They laughed through the entire test drive.

I think they were enjoying quite the kiss.

They came out, just a bit mussed, just as the older couple came back up.

"Excuse me," said the woman. "This is going to seem nuts, but it felt like we should ask. A very small young girl told us that she liked us and was buying our car for us. We know that's silly, but what the heck. Can't hurt to ask."

I looked over just as Jessica was going out the front door. Everyone looked and she laughed and waved and let the door close behind her.

"That was her!" said the husband, with such excitement.

"OK," said Glory. "I'll let the state know it is paid in full and they'll issue you the title."

Both of them just stood there.

"Is this a prank?" said the woman. "It is kind of a mean prank."

"It would be a mean prank," said Marty. "But it is not a prank. That young woman could have given you Colorado." The couple both laughed.

"The only way any of this is possible is if that young woman is a member of the Dionysus royal family," said the woman, turning back to the door, just as an S-88 lifted off. Jessica waved from the pilot seat and then the plane shot off.

"Oh," said the woman. They walked off, a little befuddled, but the proud owners of a 135.

"Wait," I said. "If money was no object, what is your dream car?"

They both pointed. At the white M8 convertible.

"Except we prefer the gray one," she said.

"Sorry, dude," I said to Marty. "Order another one for yourself." Well, that got me a smile. Marty smiled and ran back into the office and came out with a set of keys, which he handed to the woman. Just then, the gray one pulled up, dripping a little from a fresh wash.

"Jessica had them wash it," said Marty. "We all know it."

That cannot surprise you. We all walked out, and the woman got into the driver's seat. The last thing we heard, just before they laid 10 meters of rubber, was "We should probably break it in", from the husband.

A driver's car, right?

Just then, a young woman pulled out the white M8.

"Keys are in the cupholder," she said, walking back in.

"I have no idea who that was," said Marty. Glory just shrugged.

"Hey," I yelled, and she turned back.

"Who are you?" I asked. She smiled and just turned and walked away.

They never saw her again.

"Joey," I said. "Come join us after your shift. We can talk about how the engagement for three works. Just text one of them and they'll reply with the room number."

"OK!" he said, wandering off, just as an entire group of kids walked in the front door. From about 6 to 16. I left the three of them hugging their way through interviews.

Hugs kind of are the interview in our world.

Right before, well, you know.

After all, the dealership is a consulate.

I'll have a small bedroom built.

Yes, there is a hotel in this story

Still Peaches, of course. I hopped in the car and adjusted the seat. I fired it up and pulled out onto the street. I was immediately lit up by a cop that was parked right by the entrance.

It feels a little weird. Particularly when he showed up at my window with his gun drawn and screaming for me to get out.

Like that was happening.

He looks freaking terrified. I think his eyes are closed. This might not go well.

"Officer, I am not threatening in any way," I said. "My hands are on the wheel. I am no threat. I also travel under a diplomatic passport. Could we discuss this calmly?"

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"You're a kid. A little girl," he said. "I could have shot you. Why the hell did you steal a car?"

"I didn't steal a car. I bought this one," I said. "You have been misinformed. Please run the VIN."

He did, by taking a picture of it with his phone. He still has the gun in his left hand.

"Do you think you could put that away?" I said. He smiled and did so. He's a kind of cute, in a young, eager cop way.

"It says it is owned by someone named Peaches," he said.

"Can you bring up the license?" I asked. "It is not a US license."

"I don't know. There is a link," he said. "Let me try it." He turned his phone around and sure enough, my Dionysus license, with my picture. It even highlights that I travel under a diplomatic passport.

"I have no idea what happened," he said. Just then four more police cars screeched to a stop, sirens blaring, and eight officers ran up, with guns drawn.

Behind them on the sidewalk, I saw Gerald. He was trying to hide behind a tree. A tree wide enough to cover less than a quarter of his body. It didn't help that his head kept bobbing out to watch.

I caught that quickly because at that point, eight other cops were screaming. My cop wasn't screaming, he was trying to calm them down.

Until one of them took a fucking shot at me. That spooked them all, because they all unloaded every bullet they had on me. Two of them even reloaded and kept firing.

I am sure my new friendly cop was confused that they all stopped about a foot from us and dropped to our feet.

I'll explain it as a force field. Explaining I stopped them with my mind might not go over well. They appeared to be out of ammunition, so I popped the trunk. All their weaponry flew out of their hands and into the trunk. Then I closed the trunk. No, there is not a trunk closer.

I closed the trunk.

Oh no. There appears to have been a very localized tornado that tore off the uniforms of all eight of them. It was a bad day for one of them to have gone commando.

Really bad. Just then another cop walked up, shaking his head, with a lot of brass on his shoulders.

"May I ask what just happened?" he said. The lead cop shouted.

"She shot at us," he said. "We returned fire."

"No she didn't," said my new friendly cop. "She doesn't even have a gun. Frank shot first. You all just unloaded on her when he did."

Well, that's embarrassing.

The chief looked at the pile of bullets and looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

"It was a lot of bullets," I said. Well, it was.

"Why?" he asked.

"She stole the car!" shouted the cop that shot first. The chief looked at me and I shook my head no.

He looked at my new friend, who also shook his head no.

"Why did you believe that?" asked the Chief.

Just then, Gerald marched up to us. Knees to the chest. Exaggerated arm movements.

Marched up to us.

"What are you doing here, Gerald?" asked the Chief. "We have it under control. Go back to work."

"He doesn't work at the dealer anymore," I said. The chief looked back and forth between us.

"Oh Gerald," said the Chief. "Now I have to arrest my brother-in-law and fire my entire SWAT team."

Yeah dude, you do.

"I am very sorry for the behavior of both my brother-in-law and the idiots that used to be on my SWAT team," said the Chief, in the saddest voice.

"I am not going to testify against Gerald," I said. "He was stupid, but he knows it. If he fucks up again, I will extradite him for this one and that won't go well for him."

"Do you understand what that means, Gerald?" asked the Chief. Gerald is befuddled. The Chief turned back to me and rolled his eyes.

"I'll explain it to him. You're being more kind than I would be," said the Chief.

"Don't fire the SWAT guys either. Put them on paid leave for a bit. I'll pay for their leave. I'll bring Princess Leslie back and we'll go through a program we have for police forces just like yours. But now I've got to go."

I think they all stared at me as I drove away. Yeah, they fucked up, but we'll give them a chance. That's what we do.

It's already late

Well, I thought I'd be here a lot earlier. I hate valet parking a new car, but I've got to get ready for dinner. I pulled up in front of the hotel and a valet ran around as I got out of the car.

"Hi," he said. "Are you checking in?"

"Yes," I said.

"Awesome," he said. "Just call down to the front desk and we'll bring your car around. Very nice and new!"

I took the ticket and started to tip him when the direction turned.

"In case you're not aware, the legal age in Iowa is 16 and I am always available to provide any services you like," he said.

Say what?

"I'll keep that in mind," I said, pocketing what was going to be a hundred-dollar tip and he saw me do it. He was pissed, briefly, but covered it quickly.

I walked over to the window and asked for the valet manager. He walked over and looked down on me.

"Your valet just propositioned me. I'm 10. How do you plan on dealing with that?" I asked.

"That's not possible. We only do that if they're alone and driving," he said. "That means they're at least 16."

"You know you shouldn't say the quiet parts out loud," I said. I think he surprised himself that he did. He tried to back out of it.

Fuck.

I walked up to the concierge desk and asked to speak to the hotel manager. They tried to help me, but I insisted. I stuck to my guns and finally the manager walked up. OK, my guns might have been a poor choice after what happened earlier.

Have you ever looked at someone and known that under it all, they're creepy AF?

Yeah, that dude.

"How may I help you?" he said.

"Your valet person hit on me, and the valet manager seemed to think it was OK," I said.

"Now, they wouldn't have done that," he said. "You're clearly not 16."

"So your response wasn't about the fact that your valets are hitting on women that are alone, but that they wouldn't have done it to me because I'm not freaking 16?" I asked.

The manager thought about it for a bit.

"Well, yes," he said. "Entirely legal."

"How do you know they didn't hit on me?" I said.

"Because you're clearly not 16!" he said. "They would only hit on someone driving, therefore at least 16."

"You seem to misunderstand how you should be reacting to this," I said. "You don't even understand that team members hitting on customers is wrong."

"Why?" he said. "All legal. Heck if this was Dionysus, they could do it to you!"

"No, they couldn't," I said. "And regardless of their age, it is unprofessional and inappropriate. You should know that."

"Why?" he said. "That's what women are for!"

Oh boy.

The concierge that had just walked up was listening closely but trying to not be obvious. She was also enjoying the hell out of it. Seriously having fun. I turned to her.

"Is there anyone in management that is not this stupid?" I asked.

"Hey!" he said.

She shook her head no.

"You want the job?" I asked and she smiled.

"I'm still in school," she said. "This is a work-study job. I'm 12."

"You didn't answer the question," I said, and she laughed.

"Sure," she said. "I'll have a lot to learn."

"You don't seem surprised that I'm doing this," I said. "Or that I can do this."

She picked up her phone and turned it towards me.

"You got the alert," I said. "Why didn't they?"

"Because they all turned it off. They joked about how none of the people would ever come to Des Moines," she said.

"We have a school here!" I said.

"I know," she said. "I go to it. I didn't say they were smart."

No she didn't. The manager was just looking at me with a smirk on his face. I finally turned back to him.

"You're fired, but you figured that out. I hope," I said. He laughed.

"Like you could fire me," he said.

"What's the tagline of the hotel?" I asked. Shit. He doesn't know what a tagline is.

"The line below the name of the hotel," I said.

"A Peaches Property," he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I guess it is just am marketing effort. We have peaches all over the hotel," he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it is a Peaches property. We thought the peaches were a good idea," he said. OK, it is kind of a good idea.

"It has nothing to do with fruit," I said.

"Well, that's weird," he said, still not quite understanding that I fired him. Apparently this is my day to fire people.

"My name is Peaches," I said.

His little lizard brain just couldn't process this.

"So?" he said, finally.

"Anything that uses the tagline, I own. Personally," I said. He laughed.

"That's on damn near every hotel. Hilton, Hyatt, Marriott, and more. Sure, you own it," he said. I turned to Thora. It's on her name tag.

"How do I deal with this?" I said. "He's fired and doesn't believe it."

"Dad," she said. "She fired you. She owns the hotel. Go home."

Oh boy.

"She was serious?" he said. Thora just nodded.

"Oh," he said. He walked away.

"Didn't know I was firing your dad," I said.

"He deserved it. That kind of boys' club bullshit needs to stop," said Thora. "We'll be OK. After all, I make more than he did now."

"Right?" she added.

I just nodded. Little did she know. I like Thora. No, not that way. Yeah, I laughed, too. Of course that way. But not what I meant. Thora has a future, and she knows it. I know it.

"Would you like to have breakfast?" asked Thora. "Oh, no, I, um, I didn't mean it that way." I admit I laughed.

"Sure you did," I said. "You get points for creativity. It was an opening if I was interested, but self-deprecating enough to be adorable." Yes, she laughed.

"It was also totally unnecessary, and you know it," I said. "You go to our school. You could have just asked."

"I know," said Thora. "But my way was more fun."

"When do you get off?" I asked.

"It depends on when we get to your room," said Thora. She hit me with a smile. I got my eyes closed, but not quite fast enough.

I'll have to change.

"I think my hours are shifting, given my new role," said Thora. "I suppose I could check with the big boss about leaving now. Coverage isn't an issue."

"That was a weak joke," I said, and she laughed again.

"Yeah," said Thora. "That one didn't work."

I just shook my head no.

"You should still tell it to Bob," I said. "He'll love it and reward you."

"Bob?" she said, a little confused.

Oh, I waited her out. Impressive moan there, Thora.

"How will he reward me?" she said, so damn hopefully.

"Do you really need to ask?" I said.

Another nice moan.

"I need to change," said Thora. "Do you want to come into the locker room and talk while I do?"

"Is there some kind of misdirection in that?" I asked.

"No," said Thora. "Other than you'll get to see me in just panties. Hopefully that's a draw."

"It is," I said, in the voice of a three pack a day smoker. Hell yes, I followed her. She has a cute little ass! I followed her into the locker room, and she quickly stripped down to said panties. I sat on the bench, like they have in every locker room and enjoyed the view. For one, her panties were a thong that would have been too small on Jessica. You know, the string that rides up your ass? In her case, almost the entire thong part was pulled up into her pussy. Which she appears to enjoy. She also has the most delicious A cup breasts. Figuratively delicious, but I am hopeful to determine that they are more literally delicious. She walked over and sat down.

"Would you suck my nipple, please?" said Thora. "They're pretty delicious."

Why yes they are. She finally stood up and wiggled out of the thong.

It is pretty damp. Six orgasms will do that for you.

She threw on clothes and we barely made it out to the lobby in time to meet Marty, Glory, and Joey. When they arrived, we did introductions to Thora. Everyone seemed pretty darned pleased to meet everyone else.

It is a sexy group. Unbalanced, given we only have Joey and Marty.

Cocks, you know. Then again, I am being presumptuous that we'll end up in bed.

Stop laughing. OK, keep laughing. You know we will. Repeatedly. After all, I brought spatulas.

"So did I!" said Glory.

Oh goody.

We headed into the restaurant. I didn't make reservations because I ran out of time. It was the five of us and Thora recognized the host and gave him a hug.

"This is my twin brother, Thor," said Thora.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Yeah," said Thor. "Dad is a Marvel fan."

"Sure, but, wow," I said. I am absolutely introducing them to Chris Hemsworth. You know I am.

"Yeah," said Thora. She turned to Thor.

"Peaches fired Dad," said Thora.

"Wow," said Thor. "Did she offer you the job yet?"

"Yeah," said Thora.

"Cool," said Thor. "I'm proud of you."

"Will you marry me?" asked Thora.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Thor's grin is enormous.

He pulled Thora into a hug.

"Damn straight, I will," said Thor. Then he kissed Thora.

To cheers and claps from every employee in the restaurant. And most of the customers.

I like Des Moines.

"We're spending a wild night in Peaches' suite," said Thora. "When do you get off?"

"Right after my shift is over," said Thor.

Thora laughed at that. Oh yeah, they're soulmates.

Thor showed us to a nice table and two servers quickly came up for drink orders. It was a quiet night, so Thor dropped into our open chair off and on all evening. We had a fantastic time. A trio and a couple. Two sets of twins and a cousin.

All five of whom are really hitting it off. We splurged on dessert. Damn good dessert.

"So, is there such a thing as a group of five?" asked Glory.

"Oh yeah," said Thora. I laughed.

"There is, huh?" I said.

"Come on," said Thora. "Do you really think that is the line in the sand?"

"Point taken," I said.

Thor made small suggestions about the restaurant all evening long. Not pushing for anything, just his ideas, and let me tell you, they're fantastic. As in we'll roll them out globally.

I'd finally heard enough. No, wait, that's a good thing.

"Did you know that the Global Director of Food Services for all my hotels lives in Des Moines?" I said.

Thora got it instantly.

Thor didn't.

"Really?" said Thor. "I'd love to meet with them. I think some of my ideas can scale."

"You dork," said Thora. Thor just looked confused.

"What's my new job?" asked Thora. Thor smiled.

"You're the GM of the hotel and will knock it out of the park," said Thor.

"Take that to the next step," said Thora. "She met me and made me GM. Take that thought back to the last thing she said."

He thought for a minute and then smiled. His response was quite simple.

"Thank you," he said.

What else could I say?

"You're welcome," I said. "But honestly, it is a role that is critical and was not filled. It explains why I decided to mystery shop this hotel."

That confused the group. Except Glory.

"Ya kind got a three-fer," said Glory. "New leadership at the BMW dealership, a new hotel GM, and a new food guy."

Yeah, I did.

"Oh God," said Thor. "Can that be my title? Food Guy?"

That is so in the spirit of Dionysus. I guess I should say that out loud.

"That is so in the spirit of Dionysus," said Thora, beating me to it.

We finished dessert and adjourned to my suite. The suite needed improvement.

The sex didn't.

We did run out of spatulas though.

Luckily our Food Guy came through with more.

Thora, Thora, Thora

My name is Thora. Life changed for me recently. First I proposed marriage to my twin brother. Then we became a five-some with another set of twins and their cousin. It sounds a little weird when you read it, but it works for us. A loose quint. Thor and I, plus Glory and her trio form a five-some.

We're making up names here. One more and we could be the sextet. Maybe we're a quint. Who knows. Who cares!

I'm the GM of the hotel. Thor is the Food Guy for a hotel chain with over 50,000 hotels.

Feels about right.

We have two things going on right now. We're looking for a house and the two of us are going on vacation. Yeah, just the two of us. This time. After all, we have access to literally any of the hotels. Peaches made sure we understood that. Then again, she showed us how to sign up for rooms in houses, too. That seems more fun.

A lot more fun.

OK, I didn't expect Peaches to show up right now. With Glory, Marty, and Joey.

Feels like a win.

"I'm here to help you all buy houses," said Peaches. "Because you won't spend enough. My suggestion, if there is an interest, is two houses in a bit of a compound. The two of you and the three of them have houses, but next door to each other. I'm thinking on a few hundred acres."

"A few hundred acres," said Glory. "Come on."

"OK, OK," said Peaches. "We can go bigger. Depends on what we find."

"Bigger. You thought I meant bigger," said Glory.

"No," said Peaches. "But it was fun to see the expression on all of your faces. You're all still not getting it. You could buy Iowa."

"Well, that would give us space," said Joey, just as deadpan as could be. We all ended up laughing.

"Well played," said Peaches. "I'll reward you later."

"Repeatedly," added Peaches, in a super deep voice.

And we all know she will!

"What about the cousins?" said Peaches. "Do you know how they group up? Should we build more houses?"

"They range from 7 to 16," said Marty. "You think they're ready for relationships and houses?"

"How old are you, Thor?" I asked, knowing the answer, given he is my twin.

He laughed.

"12," he said, smiling. Damn near smiled me into the ground. We had to stop the conversation long enough for me to stop vibrating.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

"So you're comfortable being in a relationship with us," I said. "But don't think they're ready."

"OK then," said Joey. "There are seven cousins across three families. Youngest to oldest. Willow who is 7. Harrison who is 8. Waylon who is 10. Paisley who is also 10. Jameson who is 11. Atlas who is 13 and finally Ryker who is 16."

"I'm guessing Willow and Paisley love that ratio," said Peaches.

"Yeah, yeah they do," said Glory.

"How many houses will they need?" asked Peaches.

"Could we just have one larger house for all of us?" asked Marty.

"Oh God, that would be amazing," said Thor.

"Sure," said Peaches. "Twelve of you. We'll need something around 40,000 square feet. Maybe a little more."

Now we're all staring at Peaches.

She laughed.

"Bob suggests 5,000 square feet a person minimum. Wait," said Peaches. "My math was off. Around 60,000 square feet. Plus the gym complex. You'll need a gym complex."

"Well, ya gotta have a gym complex," said Glory.

Peaches just nodded.

"Y'all are nuts," said Thor, to Peaches.

"Probably," she said. "But in a good way."

Just then all the cousins ran into the lobby. Did I mention we were in the lobby of my hotel?

"Who's at the dealership?" said Glory.

"We're not your only employees," said the youngest girl. "We've hired fourteen more salespeople."

"OK then," said Glory.

"Let's do introductions," said Peaches. "Then I suggest we go up to my suite for a couple hours to all get to know each other better, then house hunt."

"We know each other pretty well," I said, laughing.

"No you don't," said Peaches. That voice was a little scary.

I am now picturing Peaches in crotchless panties holding a crop.

"Good thing I brought both," said Peaches.

Now, that was a group moan.

Of course they can all read me.

"And you pushed it out pretty hard," said Paisley. "I have the same outfit with me."

"Oh good," said Peaches. "This big a group needs two doms."

"Yes," said Paisley.

This is going to be epic.

"What room?" said Willow to Peaches.

With a bit of a leer. Which made Willow laugh. Peaches took Willow's hand and headed to the elevator at speed.

With us all following their cute little asses.

Willow and Harrison are the only ones with any limitation.

"Not that limiting!" said Willow, over her shoulder.

She has a point.

"Did I mention I brought a few friends?" said Peaches. "They're in the suite."

"Who?" said Willow.

"Orlando, Luke, Colby, and Bill," said Peaches. Assume the moan.

"Fine choices," said Willow. "Three for me. The rest of you can play with Orlando."

"You'll share, right?" said Harrison.

"Maybe," said Willow, just as we got on the elevator.

She shared. A little.

Good God, we had fun. One. Continuous. Orgasm.

Those kids are talented. And smart.

You get why, right?

Good thing I had six cases of spatulas. We used them all. There was one time with Willow, Harrison, and Bill. They gave a clinic. I learned so much.

Then they showed it to me more personally.

Bill. Oh, Bill has skills.

We didn't make it house hunting that day.

Imagine that.

House hunting

I am sure that my parents will be thrilled I am finally out of the house. Such a damn slacker at 7.

Then again, I made more selling cars in the last three weeks than my mom makes as a nurse in a year.

Which says an awful lot about the disastrous medical system in the US.

But that's not this post. I'm Willow, in case it wasn't obvious. I don't know why it would have been obvious. I'm the youngest at 7. Last night was amazing, but today we're looking for a house. Which I have already found. Now, this is going to get a little convoluted. It's a pretty wacky idea, thank you very much. The state of Iowa owns a resort called the Honey Creek Resort. The back story is not important, but the fact it has been a financial disaster is.

There is a lodge with 105 rooms. There are also 28 cottages. There is even RV parking. There is a water park, and it is on Rathburn Lake, which is a large recreation lake.

We will build a house on the property after I buy it. The big question is whether it is Gamma Iowa or just a fun inner circle destination.

Yes, I have barely met these people, and yes, those are valid questions.

"OK, group," I said. "We're going to the Honey Creek resort. I booked the entire upper floor, so we have about 45 rooms, each with two Queen beds. I sent a message out to the entire inner circle, and we're going to be full."

"How did you send a message to the Dionysus inner circle?" asked Atlas.

A fair question.

"Bill," I said. Interesting. The entire room moaned.

Many from their fantasies.

Me from my memories.

The dude is special.

"But how does that even work?" asked Glory. "We're all going to celebrate with the freaking inner circle of Dionysus? At a state-owned hotel? Won't we all get in trouble?"

"Of course not," I said. "I bought the resort."

"Since we all met them last night. You woke us up at 7 am," said Marty.

"Yes," I said. Luke this time.

I kind of used up Bill.

"Any insights on why you bought a resort that's roughly 100 miles from here?" asked Joey.

"Because we will build our family home at the resort," I said.

"He mentioned 100 miles from here," said Thor.

"We will all have flying cars. It is a short commute," I said.

"Flying cars," said Paisley. "All of us."

"Yes," I said. "Glory, Marty, Joey, Thor, and Thora will also have space planes. There will be one more for the rest of us to share."

"So we have to share our damn space plane," said Waylon, with some disdain.

Yes, we all laughed.

"The big question is whether it is going to stay open as a Gamma resort or be reserved just for the inner circle and their family," I said.

"Those are the two choices. An infinite number of people to fuck or a more limited set, but they're all part of the inner circle of Dionysus," said Jameson. "I am not feeling that there is a lose in either situation."

"There isn't," said Peaches, who walked into the room with a new guy.

Holy fuck.

"Your majesty," I said. "It is an honor."

He barked out a laugh.

"Yeah, no," said King Bob. "And it is just Bob. We're all just stupid lucky over here. We're not real royalty."

"Yes, you are," I said. "I get the whole lucky people from Florida schtick, and I believe that deep down you think that's you. Happy to support your self-delusion, if it works for you, but that is what it is. You really are royalty. It was not luck that you are where you are. It is because you made good choices for the betterment of the world. You are literally the heart of the movement that is revolutionizing our world and likely an awful lot more worlds. You, Bob. You started it all. Just you."

Oh no. I think I offended him. He's staying quiet.

Shit.

Then he gave me a big smile. I have since learned that the term is smiled me into the ground.

Fucking joyous.

"I didn't do that," said Bob. "Not that I couldn't do that, but you're too young. And thanks. Those were kind words and honestly really helpful for me."

"Oh, and I did it," said Peaches.

"Well, thanks," I said, to laughter from the group.

"Here's what we're going to do," said Peaches. "We stop taking reservations and gradually expand the amount of space used by the kingdom. We don't even really need to hide anything. The whole freaking world knows. A few families will likely see things they didn't expect and maybe join in."

"Feels like another win," said Ryker.

"Uh huh," said Peaches, in the deepest voice I have ever heard.

Oh my.

"Let's go," said Peaches. Orlando, Luke, and Bill are with us now and somehow almost the entire royal family.

And there were more at the resort.

My God, Ruby is gorgeous. And Pari. And Colby.

Well, you get the idea.

We spent the weekend. Hell, I made the schedules, so we all had it off.

It is one of my responsibilities at the dealership.

"Not for long," said Pari.

"Nope," said Morgon.

"Not long at all," said Shelby.

Hell yes, I know who they all are.

"What scope?" I said.

"Your call," said Shelby. "Start with your own district and work your way out."

"Or just go big and buy all the local districts in Iowa," said Morgon.

"You might want to add in all the state universities, too," said Pari.

"OK," I said. "Jameson runs all the schools. Paisley runs the universities. Waylon is my chief of staff."

They didn't say anything. Why aren't they saying anything?

"Because you made a factual statement," said Pari. "You didn't ask a question."

"For real," I said. "My call."

They just sat there again.

It felt like it was time to undress again.

Yep.

It was.

Then we went to the resort.

Yes, I am accurately reflecting the order.

We all piled into a variety of cars and headed off. We landed quickly and got out. Now we're all naked in the parking lot.

Feels right.

And a hundred miles is nothing in a flying car. Said by the girl that had never been in a flying car.

"Just wait," said Pari. "We'll bring in more planes. The six of you all need your own."

"Couldn't we each just have one?" said Ryker. I am confident he is joking.

"Sure," said Bob.

Who I am confident is not joking.

I think our lives might have taken a modest turn.

Just a modest one.

Then my phone buzzed. Yes, we all have new phones. Pari brought them.

I will spend time with Pari. Who just walked up.

And kissed me.

Sorry about the puddle.

"Not sorry," said Pari, who is a surprisingly similar puddle.

I suspect that happens a lot in their world.

"Your world!" screamed, well, everyone.

I got it out first. Of course I said it. The odds were high that at least one person would say it. I've read a lot of the journal since yesterday.

I haven't had a lot of sleep.

"You don't need as much sleep as you think," said Pari. Then she pointed at my phone.

Acquisitions complete

"Plural?" I said. "Not just the hotel?"

Pari slowly shook her head no.

"Schools and universities?" I said.

Pari slowly shook her head yes.

Wow.

Oh, the wow could have applied to the schools and universities, but it didn't.

It applied to all of our parents just walking up.

Naked.

I really need to be nine.

Jameson and my mom and dad, Ryleigh and Emersyn.

Harrison, Waylon, and Paisley's mom and dad, Ariella and Nash.

Atlas and Ryker's mom and dad, Wren and Callum.

The ones that just took my breath away are Glory and Marty's mom and dad. I can understand how no one understands they're twins, but if you meet Lilah and Tobias, it makes more sense. Lilah is as a white as can be. Almost transparent. Tobias has the same skin as Glory. Just a gorgeous copper.

Nine. I need to be nine.

Did I ever mention that Joey is my brother? He's also 17.

Yay!

We all walked into the lobby to check in. There are almost 80 of us in total. People that I have only read about in magazines.

For some reason our walking in caused a little commotion. I am sure it is totally unrelated to our all being naked.

Right?

But what I didn't expect was that everyone in the lobby started undressing, too. I walked over to the first kid I saw.

"Why are you taking off your clothes?" I said. He appears to be staring a bit.

"Well, you're naked," he said. "I'm Andre. Can I join your group?"

"Sure," I said. "Want to fuck?"

"Very much so," said Andre. "Please."

Well, he did say please.

Andre is also 9.

The perfect age.

That's when the orgy started. It turns out that people seeing our group in the hotel naked was not an issue.

Not an issue at all.

In any way.

Back to Des Moines

No need to hide myself this time. Peaches, here. Going back to Des Moines. Not that much time has passed. Yeah, Thora isn't a draw at all.

Did I sell that? I brought Leslie along and she brought Hunter and Hallie. Just a little vacation. They brought Tia and Jax along, which you would think would be a sex block, but come on. They'll have their own room, and we won't bother them. They can also wander in and watch. They usually have some good pointers.

Well, they do.

Willow and Harrison are staying with them. They'll have fun.

Oops. I almost forgot Della.

Seriously though. It's a hell of a group. We might have to supplement Hunter though. Too many of us girls. Although we never travel without toys.

Never. Ever.

Did I mention Amai is meeting us?

We're staying at the Hyatt Place by the school. Kind of a generic hotel, but I like to try them all out. I stayed at a Marriott Courtyard last week in Lynchburg, Virginia. I've realized that I can't just show up by myself if I want to mystery shop. Most 10-year-old girls don't rent hotel rooms. So I bring along parents.

Last week it was Bob and Amy. It took a little special effects to both age them and disguise them, but I spent three days with Bob and Amy.

Did I mention my sister Pari?

OK, I'll tell that story later.

Now, the choice of Leslie and crew was not random. Leslie and I are meeting with the Chief of Police. Remember? Swat team tried to kill me.

They didn't, of course. We never did really explain how that happened. I wonder if it will come up.

Oh, something will come up. SWAT team hunks. Sexy Leslie.

They might be uncomfortable all day.

You see, it isn't just Leslie and me. It is Leslie, Della, Amai, and me.

One of the greatest experiences of my life. Trust me.

We're splitting up now. I'm off to see Thora and Thor. Leslie is off with Della to see the cops. Hunter and Hallie are headed out to the water park. Hallie is a little embarrassed about being pregnant. I love how supportive Hunter is. Then again, we'd all happily get naked with Hallie.

Again.

Yes, they've been here before.

Duh. The resort is a hell of a lot of fun. In the end, we decided to leave half the hotel open but declare the whole property a consulate.

We have a waiting list.

Imagine that.

I'll pass the pen. The rest of us are off to the water park.

Damn, Hallie is sexy. She is!

To the police department

Just Leslie, Amai, and me heading to the police department. Della, here. It will be interesting to see. We offer this program to any police force. Few take us up on it. Amai does the vast majority of the teaching. They've got all the macho bullshit training done. What they need is empathy training. Sadly, macho and empathetic don't often go together.

They just don't.

We showed up at the main desk and they clearly do not know what to make of us. You see, Leslie and I are in uniform.

Tight black yoga shorts and modestly sheer white bra tops. Of course with our rank.

Those stars are at just the right spot.

Amai is in a sundress. A fairly form fitting sundress that is just sheer enough to see a hint of her nipples.

And cock.

So it is Leslie, the sexiest teenage girl on the planet, Amai who is simply stunning in every way you can imagine, and me, a sexy preteen with pretty impressive puffies.

They're kind of staring. I do find it a little surprising that no one seems to be that concerned at the giant guns strapped on Leslie and my back. Now, to them they probably look like toys. They're pretty futuristic.

They're not toys.

"Hi," said Leslie. "We're here to teach a training class to your SWAT team."

"You," said the desk Sergeant. "A teenage girl with big tits, a tranny, and a sexy tween."

"Actually a fairly accurate description of us," said Amai, with a little smirk. "And yes, us."

"Why the fuck would our SWAT team want you to teach them something?" he said. "Unless it involved her stripping out of those clothes first."

"Was that for me or one of them?" said Leslie.

Now he seems overwhelmed. He is going from Leslie, to me, to Amai, and back to Leslie. Over and over. His looks got longer and longer looking at Amai.

He seems enthralled with Amai.

Understandably.

"Perhaps I should introduce myself," said Leslie. "I am Princess Leslie. I am the Minister of Defense for the country of Dionysus. I am also the commander of all UN Forces."

"Sure, sure," said the Sergeant. "And she leads your Seal teams."

He pointed at me.

"Pretty much," I said. "Ours are a better trained and a lot more powerful but a similar concept."

"Better than the Seals," said the dude. "There is no fucking way. I am an ex-Seal."

"Good for you," I said. "Congratulations. That is a high-level of achievement in your military."

"Damn right, it is," he said. "Best in the world."

I don't think he appreciates that we're laughing.

"It is!" he shouted. His voice even cracked.

"What the hell is going on?" said a voice, as a man walked up. "Oh hi, Leslie. We wondered where you were."

Leslie just nodded at the Sergeant.

Did you figure out it is their Chief? Who just did an impressive eye roll.

"Don't mess with them," said the Chief. "They'll vaporize you with those big ion guns. Although I'm surprised you're not more concerned about their big ion guns."

"Those are real?" said the Sergeant. "I thought they were toys."

"Good thing we're white," said Leslie, under her breath. Well, black kids with toy guns don't fare well in the US, now do they?

"Come on, come on," waved the Chief.

And do you know what happened?

The day went amazingly well. The entire group apologized to Leslie. Then they listened intently, interacted with outstanding questions, and took a lot of notes. Leslie and I mostly sat off to the side and listened. This was Amai's show. I am pretty sure most of them appreciate Amai, just like Leslie and I do. OK, maybe not as personally as Leslie and I do.

Yet.

Sexy attentive caring SWAT team members?

I think there is an orgy in our future. Like that would shock you.

I'll finish this story after class. I'm hopeful.

All this bullshit

You're glowing. You're gorgeous.

I am a whale. I waddle. I spill over everything I wear.

I am not gorgeous.

They'll finally see at the water park. Small children will run from me. Adults will gag.

I am a whale.

I did find a cute little black bikini and it would be great if my giant stomach wasn't right out in front. I don't even get to go on the fun rides.

Being pregnant and all. Damn you, Hunter.

OK, I'm actually thrilled to be pregnant because we're having our baby, but damn, I am freaking huge.

"You're gorgeous," said Luke, who just walked up. "I will happily show you that in oh so many ways."

"Me too," said Orlando, who just walked up. I am suddenly surrounded by people that want to physically express their appreciation for me.

That works.

"So is this a true Gamma already?" I asked. "Fuck on the lounges?"

"Yes," said Luca. Oh God, Luca.

I will have Luca.

"So what did you do with the existing reservations?" I said.

"Nothing other than telling them," said Luca. "No one cancelled. Most tried to extend their reservations."

"Understandably," said Luke.

Well yeah.

"You know you look beautiful," said Colby. "But what's up with the top?"

Now I don't have a top. At least that's a win. I have huge breasts right now.

"I will nuzzle them," said Colby.

"We all will," said Orlando.

Well yeah.

The funny thing is we spent most of the day at the waterpark. No, I couldn't go on the big rides, but I could do the lazy river and the wave pool, and a few other things.

Yes, those things.

Apparently I have a father/son fantasy. Sometimes father/mother/son/daughter/other son fantasy.

Then there were the triplets. 14.

They had stamina.

All on a lounge by the wave pool. At one point there was a line.

Let's just say the baby got plenty of cum today and I feel a little better about myself.

It was a lot of cum.

Whee!

Leslie beat me to it

I had plans on how to end the class, but Leslie beat me to it. Then again, we had the same idea. She invited them all, with their families, to the Honey Creek Resort.

Then she bluntly explained the rules. Oh, this is Della.

The Chief gave them the next day off. They, to a person, said they couldn't take their kids out of a day of school. That was impressive.

"Sure you can," said Leslie. "We just bought your school system today. The program is entirely self-paced. Taking a day to go to a water park is entirely within the rules."

"But our kids don't all go to schools in the same district," said one cop.

"Are they all in public schools in Iowa?" said Leslie.

"Yes," said, well, all six of them.

No one said it. Darn it. That would have been fun to watch.

Although the youngest of the group did just wink at me and mouth it.

I have good feelings about this.

"OK then," said Leslie.

"What do you mean OK then?" said another cop.

"We bought them all," said Leslie. "The universities, too. It will be great. You can meet the leadership team. Your kids will all love Willow. She runs the entire thing."

"She's what, 12?" laughed another cop.

"7," said Leslie.

"Oh," he said.

"I do need to share though that the resort has been converted to a Gamma resort under our rules," said Leslie. "We no longer require any parental approval. Then again, given every school will have wrestling room and you can all be volunteers, I don't see that as a deal breaker. Anyone need a refresher on our consent rules?"

They did not.

There are many moans.

This is going to be epic.

"Let's make this easy," said Leslie, walking over to the white board. "Give me total counts in your family. Don't skimp. If there are grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, or even best friends of the adults or the kids, invite them. Just give me an estimate. A little high is OK."

Apparently the idea is appealing. There are 6 cops plus the Chief. Of course he is invited.

Seven people. Average 14 additional people each.

I doubt they all have that many kids.

98 people fit in an E-111.

"Perfect," said Leslie. "I'll arrange transportation. Let's meet here at 6:30."

"What should we pack?" said one of the cops. I need to learn their names better. I'm bad about that.

"Nothing," said Leslie. "We have all the toiletries you need."

"What about clothes?" asked the Chief.

"Why would you need clothes?" asked Leslie.

OK, we all joined in on the moan.

"You're serious, aren't you? You know nothing about who we invited," said one of the cops. "What if some of them are really young?"

"Then they'll see naked people and a lot of fucking," said Leslie. "It's good for them. They'll see their friends and family that love each other. You'll likely also get some excellent pointers that will improve your sex life. I know I listen to my kids' suggestions."

"Your kids," said another. "Aren't you 16?"

"Yes," said Leslie. "I have two kids. 4 and 3. They're adopted. My wife is also pregnant. You'll meet her. Nothing sexier than a naked pregnant teen."

"My wife is pregnant, too," said a third cop. "I'm not sure she'll be comfortable naked."

"Then she should bring clothes," said Leslie. "All of you can, but I will warn you, your kids won't wear them."

You can see the far away looks in their eyes. They're imagining their kids naked. Now they're looking at each other. Now they're clearly imagining their fellow officer's kids naked.

"This feels wrong," said yet another cop. I must learn names!

"Then don't come," said Leslie. "But if you want the best education for your kids, you need to get over it fast."

That set them back a bit.

"Listen," said Amai. "It is good for them. Look at these two. Look at Bill, who is the Chief Medical Officer at Harvard. Luke is the Secretary General of the UN at 9. Nylah is an accomplished attorney at 7. Her twin Colby is a computer genius."

They still look skeptical.

Then she brought out the big guns.

"Jessica," said Leslie.

That got them on board. No not imagining Jessica naked. OK, probably imagining Jessica naked.

I do all the time.

>From memory.

"Maybe you should just take over our police force," laughed the Chief.

Leslie just looked at me and I smiled.

"Maybe we should," said Leslie. "Let's talk about it over dinner."

"I was kidding," said Dillon. The chief. Yes, I know his name.

"I wasn't," said Leslie. "It's an idea worth exploring."

"I have to be honest," said Dillon. "It actually came from a suggestion from my daughter when she found out about this class."

"Perfect," said Leslie. "We'll need someone to run the program."

"Sophie is 9," he laughed.

"What's your point?" I asked.

Now he is kind of staring at me. It took him a minute to realize he was staring at my breasts.

"Oh God," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" I said. "As soon as we get to the resort, these clothes are coming off. I'm also over 9 and pretty insatiable. I'd take you all on as a group."

"Take us on as a group?" said a cop. "Doing what?"

I saw the inside of my head with that eye roll.

The group moan was well-received. By me. None louder than that guy, even if he was a little late to join the moan.

"We're done," said Leslie. "It is about 4. Go talk to your families. If your marriage or family life can't handle it, even if you don't join in, don't come."

Spoiler alert: they were all back before 6:30, with their families and friends.

They overshot. Almost 140 people. We'll figure it out.

Ah. Two E-111 planes just floated down into the empty lot next door.

"Are they space capable?" said Sophie. Of course we have already met her.

"You haven't met me well enough yet," said Sophie. Just then two boys walked up.

Oh God.

"Let me introduce my brothers, Justin and Judah," said Sophie.

"The three of you are triplets and they're identical?" said Leslie.

"Uh huh," said Sophie. Imagine the tone.

"I am highly confident that Sophie will do very well," said Leslie to Chief Dillon. I'm getting there with the names.

"Why would you think that?" said Dillon. "You just met."

"Want me to take this one?" said Sophie. Leslie just nodded.

"Because the three of us have been sexually active since we turned five," said Sophie.

Dillon was quiet for a minute.

Then he just nodded.

Well played, well played.

We were just a little late to dinner. We did a lap. We got to know each other better. A lot better.

The planes might be a little sticky.

Finally we landed and trouped into dinner. Naked. Everyone. Including the confused cop's daughter.

Who is 1. I had to laugh because she was one of the first on the plane to strip. No, no, nothing inappropriate. It just threw off the cop.

"Why are you taking off your clothes?" he said. "I just said that to a one-year-old."

"Because I'm tired of wearing diapers and haven't needed them for months," she said. Her dad appears quite confused. "After all, I'm almost 2."

He looked at me and I just shrugged. His little girl was one of the first off the plane. She ran off with Tia and Jax.

"Is that OK?" he said. "Shouldn't they stay with us?"

"They're fine," I said. "Your life has changed. She will be starting school."

"We can't afford daycare," he said. "My wife stays home."

"Did you hear me mention daycare?" I said. "I did not. She will be starting school. She'll be through high school in a month. Do you live under a rock?"

"The stories are pretty unbelievable," he said.

Just then she ran back with Tia and Jax.

"They know a great Thai place in Paris," she said. "We're going to run have dinner. We'll be back in a couple of hours or so."

They turned and ran to an S-88 and climbed on board. It took off.

He appears confused.

"Is there a Paris, Iowa I don't know about?" he said.

"Maybe," I said. "But they meant Paris, France. It's great Thai food."

Well, it is.

And they could afford daycare now. We ended up taking over all the police forces in Iowa. Sophie is in charge. Chief Dillon works for her.

Then again, my dad works for me.

We're changing the world, a little at a time.

Favorite Line: "A very small person is out there firing the sales force,"

Editor's Favorite Line: "Oh God," said Thor. "Can that be my title? Food Guy?"

Email me. Comments, ideas, and suggestions welcome

End of Chapter