22 January 2024

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I love email. If you give me a story line, I'll name a character after you. I really need ideas for fun situations. Get it?

We're on the Daily Show

Author's Note: Yes, I know Trevor isn't the host anymore. He was when I wrote this. It is seriously tough to be topical on a story like this. I started this chapter in late 2019.

OK, I admit, I think it is cool. This is Pari. I'm on the Daily Show with Trevor Noah tonight. I'd like to be on Trevor tonight, but even if I was, I wouldn't tell you about it, so feel free to use your imagination.

Oh, Bob and Amy are on with me. Let your imagination wander a little more.

Now, back on track. There has been some reaction to my being with Bob and Amy. The whole quad thing, but the world is a little used to that with Ruby, Tomas, Amara, and Tavi. It's mostly the puffies. OK, small A cups.

I like my tits. Everyone likes my tits. The whole world has seen my tits.

The Eiffel tower, remember?

It kind of is the tiny tits. It's the age difference. A lot of people are bugged by the fact that I am 12. They throw around terms like child molester. And baby rapist, which I admit is a little weird. My favorite is fornicators. Wouldn't that be a great band name? The Fornicators.

I'm telling Orlando about that one. Grace, Orlando, Camila, Halsey, and Gina. Let's throw in Kevin on the piano. Maybe Khalid. Especially Khalid. The Fornicators. And in their case technically correct. All at once. With a lot of us.

I might be off track again. Although, come on. Halsey. Yum.

Hey, maybe Ava Max would join the band. I can be their manager, not being actually musical.

Damn it. But come on Ava Max. Or cum on Ava Max.

Yeah, that would happen, too.

The interview will be interesting but let me start at the beginning. Before we came out, we did a little Man on the street segment. Or in this case, Girl on the street. I have on khaki shorts, a T-shirt that reads Girl on the street interviewer and a baseball cap with a big Daily show logo.

While all useful, the big microphone I was carrying might have been a signal.

Then again it could be the big burly guy with the video camera. Hal. Hal's a good guy. Hal's good. Those two things are different.

Right? After all, I've been on the Daily show before. I've gotten to know the crew. Some I've gotten to know. I'm friendly that way. Yes, I have Hal's permission.

He's pretty damn proud of it.

We went outside and got set up. It was so hard not to laugh. You see, a crowd gathered, as you would expect. What I saw, but apparently no one else did, is the couple at the front of the crowd. Tall athletic guy in gym shorts and a tank top. Also a baseball cap, but backwards. A huge tattoo on his left shoulder, going down past his elbow. Next to him was a cute girl. A little romper, with culottes. Cute, but the top was too loose for her. She had a baseball cap on, too, and her hair was pushed up in the cap.

The bright red hair would have given her away. The loose top was pretty important. Amy's breasts are memorable.

Ask me how I know.

You get that the tattoo is temporary, right?

Here we go. I basically stalked the next person that walked by.

"Excuse me," I said. "Tammy with the Daily Show. Could I ask you a few questions about the recent Royal wedding?"

She stopped and turned. I'd say mid-twenties. Cute.

"Sure," she said.

"What's your name?" I said. She shared her name is Elfi. Elfi is freaking gorgeous.

"In your own words, what do you think about a 12-year-old little girl marrying two adults?" I said. Yes, intentionally a little provocative.

She laughed.

"You're talking about one of the most powerful young women in the world. She's revolutionizing education. Her team owns Harvard, Stanford, MIT, and more. Haven't we already blown through any useless stereotypes about powerful young women? Hey, she's married to multiple people. Big effin' deal. I'll bet she's got a better sex life than either one of us," she said, with surprising passion.

She might be surprised about that.

"I admit, not the reaction I expected," I said, and she laughed.

"I'm 15-years-old. Not that long ago, I was in the 9th grade. I was bored out of my skull. Right now, I'm in the pre-med program and have already been accepted at Albert Einstein in the Bronx," said Elfi. "Pari is my freaking hero."

"Not NYU?" I said. "Doesn't the family own NYU?"

"Yes, and it is an excellent school, but only one of five outstanding med schools in New York City," said Elfi. "My goal is research and Albert Einstein is a much better school. I don't know why they haven't bought the other four. But back on point, more power to them. All you have to do is see them together and you know they're meant for each other." Then she smirked at me and glanced over at Bob and Amy.

And kept the secret.

"Well, thank you for your viewpoint," I said, which is my closing line, and the camera came down. I moved in close to Elfi.

"Meet us right here at 6:30," I said.

"OK," she said, and took off. She didn't even ask why.

But she did know who we were. I'd like to say the other interviews went as well and were as supportive, but shit they weren't. We talked to about a dozen more people, but only one of them could form coherent sentences. Profane, but coherent.

The girl on the street was a bust. We hustled back upstairs and changed quickly, and it was time for the recording of the show to start. Trevor did a nice monologue. He's really improved as he has gotten more comfortable. He announced I was the guest, to more cheers than I would have expected. I walked out, with Amy on my left and Bob on my right. Holding their hands.

The crowd got a bit louder. Obviously planned when you consider there were already three chairs. Bob in the back, me in the front. Amy in the middle. Height order. Yeah, I'm still pretty little given I am shorter than Amy.

Trevor told the story of our aborted interview attempts and even put up a picture of me in my outfit. I admit, I looked cute. Then he played the interview with Elfi. Just the first bit. Where it ends on our sex life.

Yeah, the audience loved it.

"So that wasn't exactly what you expected," said Trevor.

"Not at all," I said. "I did interview several other people, many of whom were pretty against our relationship, but none of them could form actual sentences, so it wasn't a very good bit."

Trevor played a clip. It was a medley of four. Three women and a man. Who had actually signed the release form.

It's a good thing they have that covered, given they looked like idiots.

It was freaking hilarious.

"But what she said was true, right?" asked Trevor. Oh God, you cannot throw me that softball.

"Which part? The part about our impact on education or the part about how our sex life is better than yours?" I said. Yeah, I went there.

"We do have a pretty spectacular sex life," added Amy. "Pretty much all day every day. I'm surprised Pari gets anything done."

Thanks, Amy.

Bob just nodded. You can't possibly be surprised.

"Your country truly is different, isn't it?" said Trevor.

"I'll give you an example, Trevor," I said. "You speak eight languages, right?"

"Yes," he said, clearly embarrassed. "But some are closer to a dialect, so similar enough to make them easy to learn."

"Pick one," I said. He shot off some Sotho.

I answered him in Xhosa. He replied in Afrikaans.

I replied in German.

We went through all eight, if you include English.

"How is it possible you know all those languages?" he said. "I'm not even sure I get why I do."

"You're missing the point," I said. "Our system is better. It changes us. Yes, I know the same eight languages you do. See if anyone in the audience speaks a language other than those we just went through."

We were way off-topic, but it is kind of a fun point. A man near the middle raised his hand. Just as he did, Trevor leaned over.

"You might be a bit predictable," said Trevor.

"You too," I replied, just as the camera caught a shot of me then went back to the gentleman now standing with a microphone in his hand.

Mine was a downblouse that somehow made it past the sensors. I'm guessing a few people paused there.

Go for it, folks.

"I speak a number of languages," he said.

"Hit me with some tough ones," I said, and he rattled off a bit.

"Really? Welsh? Come on," I said, in English, then switched to Welsh and rattled off some more.

He laughed and so did a woman up a few rows. Trevor caught it.

"You speak Welsh?" asked Trevor. They handed her a mic.

"Yes," she said. "Born and raised." She rattled off a question about dialects and I switched to hers. She got a shocked look on her face.

"You not only switched to the right dialect, but you also caught the nuances that are unique to my family lineage. All from a few sentences," she said. What could I do? I nodded.

"And the reason I laughed is she chastised him for choosing something so easy," she said, and sat back down.

I rattled through a set of languages in a distinct order. Korean, Inuktitut, Madagascan, Finnish, Welsh, Portuguese and Icelandic.

"You're quoting me from an article," he said. "You know who I am. You also just spoke six more languages flawlessly."

"Yes, Muhamed, I know who you are," I said. "And you can't beat me."

"Oh!" said Trevor. "He speaks over 70 languages, and you think you can beat him."

"Yeah," I said, with some grit.

"Challenge!" shouted Trevor. "We're going to keep going folks. We'll come back to tonight's episode, but let's roll with this. Anyone that needs to leave, feel free to do so quietly at any time. I have a feeling we'll be here for a while."

"I can finish this in 3 minutes," I said.

That silenced Trevor.

Then he nodded and Muhamed laughed.

I tried Silbo Gomero. I'm not going to explain them all. You can look them up. This one is fun because it is all whistles.

And he knew it. I bowed and he took the next shot.

Archi. And he made it tough. I think he was surprised when I laughed and replied.

"Come on dude," I said. "Almost 1,200 people in the world speak that one."

"Did you say 1,200?" said Trevor. Muhamed and I both said yes. I am pretty sure he said jinx, but I can't be sure.

My turn. I tried Koro. 800 people. He knew it. I had my winner, but I'm playing a bit.

Aw fuck it.

"I guarantee you will not know this one," I said, in Sentinelese. It is a language spoken only on North Sentinel Island, which is a small island in the Indian ocean.

You may recall the Christian missionary who ignored warnings to not approach the island. They killed him. And ate him.

He looked stumped.

"What was that?" he said, in English.

"Sentinelese," I said, and he laughed.

"Sure," he said. "Like that's possible."

"This is what the picture was for, isn't it?" said Trevor, and I nodded. I'd given him the picture before we came out.

It is me, sitting in a circle with the leaders of their tribe.

We're all laughing.

"How?" said Muhamed.

"I guess I'm not as tasty," I said.

"Oh yes you are," said Bob. I really don't think he meant to, but he did.

"I have been defeated, but at least I am not lunch," said Muhamed.

"Is he sure?" said Amy, softly.

Completely forgetting she was on a hot mic.

Or maybe not.

We invited Muhamed and his family to come visit. I am sure that is a surprise. Stop laughing.

Communism? Really?

I don't know why I am taking the lead, but I think Bob and Amy just enjoy it. Pari, here. Something about powerful young women and men. I get the turn on.

Trust me.

They're the older generation and so out of touch.

Touch might not have been the best choice of words. Their touch is just fine. There was one time in a helicopter, with a baster.

Moving on. Although the older generation isn't very accurate either, given they're 28 and 26.

"I'm just going to throw this out here. It isn't a surprise," said Trevor. "You knew this was the topic and all three still came on the show."

We just smiled.

"You have been accused of being a communist state," said Trevor. "How do you react?" Apparently, with some laughter.

"OK," I said. "Let's take this apart slowly. Most people truly don't know what communism is. There has never been an attempt at communism in modern history, so the true understanding is muddy."

"What about Russia, China, and even Cuba?" asked Trevor.

"A blend of dictatorship and oligarchy and you know it Trevor. They're as far from communism as you can be. Let's look at the definitions from Dictionary.com." I'd provided the graphics and the first definition came up.

a system of social organization in which all economic and social activity is controlled by a totalitarian state dominated by a single and self-perpetuating political party.

"This is the view of communism that most people have," I said. "This is their experience. It is also the second definition in the dictionary, so let's look at the first."

a theory or system of social organization based on the holding of all property in common, actual ownership being ascribed to the community as a whole or to the state.

"This is the real definition," I said. "This is the true definition of communism. An altruistic view. Ownership is ascribed to the community. Now, before anyone jumps to a conclusion, this isn't us either. We're actually closer to the classic definition of a monarchy, with some democracy and some shared ownership thrown in. Let me walk you through it, but let's start with the monarchy."

a state or nation in which the supreme power is actually or nominally lodged in a monarch

"That's Bob and Amy. They literally started the country with their money and have provided so much for the world. That doesn't mean there isn't personal ownership. In fact, it is the opposite. If you bring them an idea, they invest, but you maintain a controlling interest just for having the idea. I myself own a large shopping mall chain and the largest beer distributor in the US."

I left that last one hanging. It is a classic setup and Trevor knew it. He could ignore it or have fun with it.

This is a comedy show. To my surprise, he either missed it, which I didn't believe, or didn't go for the joke, which I get. Maybe not now.

Amy leaned over. OK, I moaned a little. She's also facing the audience. They moaned, too.

An Amy downblouse is amazing.

"You're Queen Pari," said Amy. "You left yourself out."

I am pretty sure I blushed.

"OK," said Trevor. "Now, let's dissect what you said. Let's pick Belen. She's the chairperson of the Dionysus Auto Group. It rolls up almost every major manufacturer in the world. You're telling me that she personally holds controlling interest."

"Sure," I said. "But you're entirely missing the point. Belen lives an amazing life and can do whatever she wants, but she isn't growing richer by virtue of her ownership. Well she is, but not by herself. Every company that is owned by those of us in Dionysus has a target profit margin of zero. We don't want to make money that way. It's a false profit, which has become a false prophet." Trevor laughed.

"I see what you did there," said Trevor, smiling. "But why would you do that? Zero."

"Because we don't want or deserve it all. We take what would have been profit and we invest it. We invest it in the company. We invest it in the employees. We invest it in the community. We fund everything. Schools, healthcare, housing, food. Pretty much all your basic expenses just get paid without you worrying about it. Plus you make good money. Once we've made sure the company is solid and growing and the community needs are taken care of, anything else goes to the entire team. Your value to the company actually increases the closer you get to actually making something to sell. The people on the line get larger bonuses than Belen does, which is entirely fair. Most of our businesses, though, are run by members of the inner circle, so we're not hurting for money. But let's go back to the beginning. The rest of the company is owned by the kingdom and the kingdom literally is Bob and Amy. And I guess me."

"Dionysus bought Lebanon. You're saying a big percentage of that is Amy and Bob," said Trevor. I'm not bringing myself up. I moved on.

"Sure," I said. "And they spend money and have fun doing it, but most of it gets funneled to Hayden. So whatever they want to call us, we're doing good in the world, and we'll put our effort up against anyone. I'm not even clear how it hurts anyone. Let's use GM as an example, since we've already talked about Belen. The company was dying, and plants were closed all over the country. They're all open again and have been completely rebuilt. If you want the coolest story ever, invite Caralyn on the show and ask her about revitalizing the Midwest. It will embarrass her, so push her to tell the whole story. Although maybe not every detail."

Have you ever heard a studio audience moan? Again. Yeah, I have.

"You sound too good to be true," said Trevor. "There is always a catch."

"There sure is a catch. People are completely missing out on things like crime, and poverty, and being bankrupted by their medical costs. Sorry, none of that is available in our world. They're losing out on mindless, rebellious children that are being driven mad with a lack of challenge. Oh, and sorry, you know all those inner cities with gang problems? We haven't gotten to every city yet, but we're trying. If you give me the choice, a little Iranian girl, to walk the streets of Beverly Hills or Watts at 3 in the morning, I'd choose Watts every time. I would also know that by 3:01 am, there would be at least one person, if not more, walking with me to keep me company and to ensure I got to my destination safely. And that person might be 6 years old and part of their citizen's patrol."

"You're telling me you consider Beverly Hills dangerous," said Trevor.

"If they knew it was Queen Pari?" I said. "Of course not. If they thought I was an olive-skinned little girl from Iran? Hell yes. I doubt I'd ever be seen again."

That knocked him back a bit, but hey, treating minorities well isn't their strength.

"Let's do this," I said. "You know the areas we've focused on. Let's do that 3 AM tour. First Beverly Hills, then Watts. Just you and me, in sweatpants and hoodies. Holding hands."

"Yeah, that might not go well in either place," said Trevor.

"Want to bet?" I asked. "I can't predict Beverly Hills, but I can Watts."

"And you don't think that is backwards," said Trevor. This time Bob snorted. Amy and I just looked at him and laughed.

"No, she absolutely doesn't have that backwards," said Bob. "You're missing the point. We started in Florida. Just middle-class people making a wage. We fell into all this, but underneath it all, we don't fit into Beverly Hills, at all. Even Amy and I would probably get challenged on a walk, dressed that way. I don't want to malign an entire class, but the only time rich people want to associate with us is when they want something. We have a lot of something."

"Yeah ya do baby," said Amy, which broke up Trevor and the entire audience. Then Amy leaned over and gave Bob a kiss.

The moan from the audience might have caused a small earthquake.

It was quite a kiss. It always is. I know.

"So what's the bet?" asked Trevor.

"If I win, and I will, you come spend the weekend with the family," I said.

"What are you implying?" asked Trevor.

"I'm implying that you spend a pleasant weekend with our family. We like Yahtzee. Do you play Yahtzee?" I asked, all innocent and shit.

"Actually, I do," said Trevor. "What if I win?"

"I'll take you to another planet," I said. Yeah, I went there.

Trevor laughed. Then he looked at me quizzically.

"Are you serious?" asked Trevor. "Wait, I can't even believe I asked that question. But are you serious?"

"I guess you'll have to win to find out," I said. Then I smiled at him. Right to the edge there Trevor.

The rest of the interview was fun but anticlimactic. But afterwards, we had a point to prove. The audience left and the cameras were off, and we were left with Trevor.

"So when are we going to do this?" asked Trevor.

"Tonight," I said. "Get some sleep. We'll pick you up at 4:30AM. That lets us do one 2 am stroll and one at 3."

Amy, Bob, and I might be a bit tired. We didn't sleep all that much.

And the world is short four more spatulas. It is a good thing we recycle them.

Going for a walk

Just going for a walk in Beverly Hills. With Trevor. Shorts, T-shirts, and hoodies. Good quality and clean. Very nice Adidas shoes. Air pods in, high-end iPhones in our pockets.

In other words, not very threatening.

We started by jogging, just a nice even pace. In the short mile we ran, seven security cars passed us.

Seven.

After that mile, we slowed to a walk, and he took my hand. I kind of liked it. We were just walking along chatting about this or that, when a squad car passed us at speed and turned to block us. We both stopped and held up our hands, so they were visible. We'd agreed to be as non-threatening as possible, but to be safe, we're both carrying force field generators in our pockets.

Like I needed one.

Two cops jumped out of their car and pointed guns at us. We had our hands waist high and clearly were not threatening in any way.

Seems about right.

"Are we free to leave?" I asked. "Are we being detained?"

"Shut the fuck up!" he screamed, just as two more squad cars screeched to a halt and four more officers jumped out with guns drawn.

"Are we free to leave?" asked Trevor. "Are you charging us with a crime?"

They kept getting more and more angry. Just screaming at us. Of course we're recording it. In fact, Trevor is broadcasting it live on his channel. It is the middle of the night, but I'll bet a lot of people are watching.

Then it got even worse. One of the cops fired.

At me.

Which led to the rest of the officers simply unloading their guns on us. They even reloaded.

They appear confused why we're still standing here. They finally noticed the pile of bullets at our feet.

"What the fuck," said one of the cops. That's when Trevor and I folded back our hoods.

"Shit," said another cop. I'm guessing he knew who at least one of us is.

"Guys," he said. "We fucked up bad. Really bad. Career ending bad."

That's when he put his gun to his own temple.

Well shit. As far as the inquiry will know, his gun malfunctioned. It did, but with a little telekinetic help from me.

One of the other officers got his gun away from him.

That went worse than I expected, but no one was hurt, and it sure made the point.

A totally different world

Trevor and I started with a little jog through Watts, and we were about two blocks in when two runners fell in with us. On the left was a young girl that couldn't have been over 7. On the right was a boy of maybe 10.

"Everything OK?" asked the girl. "Or just out for some late exercise? Can we jog with you?"

Trevor laughed.

"How did you know this would happen?" asked Trevor.

"Because I helped design the program," I said. "And I volunteer several nights a month in different cities. The community cares about each other. Now, you might have gotten a cop to come after you, but that would just mean they were volunteering tonight. The streets are safe in communities where we're involved. It is just different."

That's when the girl laughed.

"Hey girl," she said, laughing some more. "What's up with the hoodie?" I pushed mine back and so did Trevor. The fact that both kids moaned was a compliment to either Trevor or me.

"Why can't it be you both?" said the young man. Xavion. The girl is Nora. I know them both. They're volunteer team leads. I've been on their crews before.

I've been on them both, too. Yeah, permission. Hell, I'm pretty sure Nora hopes I'll broadcast it live. She might have more fun.

She is very fun. So is Xavion. Especially together. They're soulmates.

They'll marry soon. Yes, they can do that in LA. We'll make it happen.

I think we made our point. Oh, they're also brother and sister.

Just me this time

We're back on Trevor's show. No, wait, I'm back on Trevor's show. Bob and Amy are in the audience, but they felt this worked better with just me. It is the night after we did our jog. More accurately, the night of when we did our jog. Just about twelve hours ago.

"Well that went differently than I expected," said Trevor. One woman in the audience moaned and the camera caught her. She just smiled and did a little wave.

How handy she is next to Amy.

"I think I can safely say that our lives rarely meet outside expectations," I said. The camera caught the woman again, but she just laughed. She is also holding hands with Amy.

Oh goody.

"It was amazing," said Trevor. Then he played clips from both jogs. As you can imagine, it caused quite a furor nationally. The cops in Beverly Hills fucked up pretty badly. What is worse is that there was no discipline of any kind.

Which is unsurprising.

I did laugh that someone set up a late-night jogging club that ran through Watts. We bought a large lot and created a parking lot. We put up refreshment stands, too. All free.

Which can't surprise you. The Association of International Marathons and Distance Races reached out about holding a marathon through Watts. Their planned LA area venue cancelled on them. We'll come back to that. The race is in a few weeks. Many of us are running in it.

Hopefully this can change the conversation.

And we're not communists.

We're monarchs. WTAF.

The freaking Daily Show

Me. Why me? This is fucking nuts. This is Caralyn. Chace and Walker are in the audience. I tried to get them to come on with me, but they weren't having it. I'm not a great public speaker. I'm not uncomfortable with it, just not great at it.

I didn't even know what to wear. I finally settled on a cute skirt with a T-shirt. I think maybe I should have worn a bra. It's cold in the green room. Well, too late, they just called me. If you're a nipple lover on a young girl, it is time to hit screen capture.

Or just ask and I'll let you suck them.

Crap. Now I'm wet. Well hell. I walked out and shook Trevor's hand. I caught the same whiff he did.

Me. Wet. He just increased his smile and winked at me.

Oh, I'd do him on national TV.

"So tell us about Anderson, Indiana," said Trevor, kind of throwing me a softball.

"Well," I said. "It is my hometown and just a gorgeous midsize community of caring people."

Trevor laughed.

"I'm sure it is," said Trevor. "Particularly given what you've done for the community and the entire Midwest."

"I haven't done anything," I said. I realized I'd said it with a little heat.

"That's what people don't understand about our society," I said. "Sure, I'm responsible for it, because someone needs to be. Some of it started with an idea of mine. But the success of everything belongs to the people actually doing the work. The designers, the real estate people, but most importantly the people on the line. Add in the teachers, and firefighters, and every other first responder or front-line person and those are the people you should be talking to. I mostly just coordinate so that things happen in a solid order."

"That's all you do," said Trevor. "I'm not buying that."

"Well," I said. "I do spend quite a bit of time in the wrestling room." Yes, I went there.

We had to wait a bit for the audience moan to subside. Oh, and my nipples are just hammering out my T-shirt.

As they should. Did I mention my shirt is silk, thin, and a little more sheer under the lights than I expected?

I don't think anyone minds.

"OK, walk me through it. How did it start?" said Trevor.

"It is not that interesting," I said, shaking my head. I took a deep breath.

I ended up talking for almost an hour. Trevor kept asking leading questions. I got a little more comfortable and just kept going and wasn't aware of the time. They ended up making the show 90 minutes that night.

For me. It is fucking insane.

I won't mention more, but Trevor did invite me to join him after.

OMG.

OK, just a little. I invited him to finally visit Robertville and he agreed. OK, technically he is repaying his bet with Pari.

But he agreed!

I am off to find Elfi

This is Cassie. Pari texted me and told me to find a young woman named Elfi that was accepted to Albert Einstein Medical School and buy the school for her.

Well sure. You would think that would be complicated to find her, but it was easier than you think for two reasons. First, Elfi is not exactly a common name and second, Elfi applied to NYU, too. I have her address and contact info, but decided just going to see her would be easiest. I made an appointment with the Board of the Montefiore Health System, which owns the school. The likelihood that they would sell the school was small, but I had a Plan B.

I'd just buy the entire healthcare system. Why not? We already own the NYU medical center. And NYU.

Given there was another medical center involved, I invited Elena, too. Sure, sure, ulterior motive. Have you seen her beautiful pussy? Stunning.

Luke enjoys Elena, too. Elena also means Nick, which is another win. Hell, he's beautiful, too.

Oh yeah.

Classes let out and Elfi walked out. Yes, I know what she looks like and it isn't some crazy devious tech we have. I saw the clip, so I know exactly what she looks like.

She saw us standing there and walked right up to us.

"The school and the medical center?" she said. "Yeah, I can do both."

Well now.

"A little cocky, aren't we?" said Elena.

"No," said Elfi. "I've been in your world for a bit. I get how all this works. Is it a stretch? Sure. Under it all, though, is that you wouldn't be asking me if I couldn't do it. That doesn't happen in your world."

"What made you think we were going to suggest it?" I asked. "It's a big leap."

She pointed at me, then pointed at Elena, and then raised her eyebrows.

OK, we all laughed.

"Let's go," said Elena. "Our meeting is in 20 minutes." She handed a folder to Elfi, who opened it and skimmed the pages. I would tell by her approach that she was truly absorbing it. She finally looked up, after a surprisingly short time.

"These numbers are ludicrous," said Elfi. "Their expenses are easily 20% too high. The management overhead alone is insane. For a research university, not enough money is focused on research. Worse, where's the income from the research?"

Elena laughed and smiled.

"What would you do differently?" asked Elena.

"First I'd identify the stars and keep them around, but retire easily 40% of the admin staff. Let the stars hire another 10% of fresh blood back," said Elfi. "At the same time, I'd hire forensic accountants to look into the entire operations. Someone has been skimming and the amounts are significant."

"You can do the first, but you can't do the second," I said. Elfi made a face.

"Why not?" said Elfi. I just pointed over her shoulder. She turned to see much of the leadership being led out by FBI agents. She let out a little laugh.

"Yeah, I guess I can skip that part," said Elfi.

The funny thing is the people that were left welcomed us. There was literally one board member left.

Mellanie.

Sure, a women. Are you surprised? We actually met with her in the boardroom. A big fancy overdone boardroom.

"So explain to me why you're still here," said Elfi. She seems to be in charge.

"How do you think the FBI got involved?" said Mellanie. "I tipped them off. My history is a bit sordid. My dad is a pretty heavy hitter in what you know as the mafia. He is also a big donor here. It made sense to offer me a board seat and their assumption was that I was as crooked as they are. I'm not. Hell, my dad is not. The whole mafia thing was a thing, but now they all make more money legitimately. I have to laugh, because they're fast followers on your investments and make a fortune."

"Good for them," said Elena, with a smile.

Now all of us are just vibrating.

"Might want to temper that smile a little, Elena," I said.

"Why?" she said, with a smaller smile.

She has a point.

We spent the afternoon with Mellanie. She is surprisingly knowledgeable about the inner workings of both the health system and the university.

"How do you know so much?" asked Elena. "You're not the typical rubber stamp board member."

"I went to school here," she said.

"You're a doctor," said Elena, and she nodded.

"OK," said Elfi. "My first decision. If you're interested, I'd like you to run the healthcare system. I'll keep the university, at least until I find a lead, then you can both report to me."

Mellanie hesitated.

"Unless there isn't an interest," said Elfi, reading the hesitation.

"No, no," said Mellanie. "I want to do it. It is just a little more public than I have traditionally allowed."

Then she perked up.

"Will our house be a consulate?" asked Mellanie.

"Sure," said Elfi, laughing and looking at me. I just nodded.

It is what we do.

OK, the long deep moan from Mellanie was surprising.

Then again she asked for her house to be a consulate, so...

"How old?" asked Elfi, getting right to the point.

"11," moaned Mellanie. Yes, moaned. "Giovanni and Adelina. Twins."

OK, we all moaned. We like twins.

We do.

Jessica, Bill, Nylah, and Colby. Just last night. With Karolina.

I might be a little tired.

"Husband and/or wife?" I asked. "Boyfriends? Girlfriends?"

"Just a collection of them huh?" said Mellanie.

It felt appropriate to wait her out and she finally laughed.

"Queen Pari has a husband, a wife, and a girlfriend," she said, with a laugh.

"Husband, wife, and fiancé," I said.

"Even better," said Mellanie.

"The job comes with citizenship," I said.

Now Mellanie looks shocked.

"You're not worried about my past?" she said.

I admit I laughed.

"You going to put cement shoes on anyone?" I asked.

"Wouldn't even know how," she said.

"You're good," I said.

"Seriously?" said Mellanie. "You don't do background checks? Nothing?"

"No," I said. "We know."

They both thought about it for a minute.

"What's the criteria?" asked Elfi.

"I just answered that," I said. "We have had one failure and honestly, it was a mistake. Pari was younger."

"Younger," laughed Mellanie and we all ended up laughing.

"Let's do this," I said. "Let's all have dinner. But you never answered my question. Are you married?"

"No," said Mellanie. "My dad had my husband offed."

I suspect my face looks like Elfi.

Mellanie burst out laughing.

"The looks on your faces," she said. "We never married. We didn't know each other well. I was seventeen."

"Wait," I said. "That means you're 29, a doctor, and on the board."

"Yes," she said.

"Damn," said Elfi and me.

She got it out first. Fuck yes, I paid off.

Mellanie seems to have enjoyed it. I suspect that's about what my face looked like moments ago.

"Damn," she said. "That was an amazing kiss. I don't think I've ever had a kiss like that."

What do you think I did?

I held my arms open.

"I'd like to stay out of jail," she said.

"We own the place," I said. "There will be wrestling rooms soon. We could strip and get each other off on the conference room table."

"Not a bad idea," said Elfi.

"Let's just go with the kiss, for now, if there is an interest," I said.

"Oh God, yes," said Mellanie.

I held her up when she passed out.

"Wow," said Elfi.

So I kissed Elfi when Mellanie woke up.

And held her up.

"How old are you, Elfi?" asked Mellanie.

"15," said Elfi.

Mellanie just nodded.

I like Mellanie.

I'd like to like Mellanie.

"So back to dinner," I said. "Let's have dinner."

Just then, Frida walked in with Nick and Bill.

I think Elfi and Mellanie might have swooned a little. Well, it is a medical school and medical system.

OK, I might have swooned a little, too.

"I'm hungry," said Elena. "Let's go eat on the space station."

"The space station?" said Mellanie.

"Sure," I said. "We'll swing by and pick up your kids. And you still haven't answered me."

"No one," she said.

"How old are your kids?" asked Frida after we did the introductions.

"11," said Mellanie.

"Are they in our schools?" asked Bill.

"No," said Mellanie. "My dad is against it."

"Invite him to dinner," I said.

The looks on her face were simply hilarious. It always starts with shock and ends with lust but there is variety in the middle.

Which is when Luke walked into the room with two adorable kids and one distinguished man.

Want to guess?

They all walked over.

"Dad," said Mellanie, in just a bit of a strained voice.

Which made him laugh.

"I'm Stefano," he said, and we did all the introductions.

Including Bob, Amy, Pari, and Rylee, who just walked up.

Whee!

I could narrate some pretty amazing sex at this point, but Stefano and Mellanie asked that we not include them. We respect that.

It was a hell of a night. They did agree we could say that.

Wowza.

My Life

My life changed a bit when I walked down the street past the Comedy Show studios. I never walk that route. I'm never in that part of town. I can't explain it. I took two subways and walked four long blocks to walk past there. I was a girl on a mission. I had no idea why or even where I was going.

And yet.

Cassie explained that was normal in our world. She meant our world inclusive of me. Oh, this is Elfi. Backing up a bit prior to the wild night.

Fucking crazy. I mean I was already in their schools but what the fuck?

OK, a lot of fucking is involved. I love to wrestle.

Everyone in our school system loves to wrestle. I have yet to introduce my brother, Erick. Erick is 9. I've always been close to Erick, but now that we're in school together he has become my best friend and study buddy. We love our time in the wrestling room, too. We're both in medical school.

Holy shit.

"Erick," I said. Of course he is with me.

"Are we soulmates?" I asked. He laughed a little.

"Took you long enough," he said, with a huge smile on his face. And a rock hard cock. Hey, we're studying in my bedroom. You don't think we have clothes on, do you? This living in a consulate thing is pretty great. Right now we still live with Mom and Dad. Cassie keeps telling me I can have my own place.

Maybe now we will.

"I accept," said Erick, softly.

"I just proposed, didn't I?" I said.

"I hope so," said Erick.

"I did, I did," I said, as I swung my leg over and settled onto his cock.

"Every day dude, morning, noon, and night," I said.

"Whee!" said Erick, as I bounced on his cock.

Just then, Morgon walked into my bedroom. Yes, that Morgon. No we haven't met her yet, but she appears to be undressing.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Morgon. May I please join you?"

Just as she got to naked.

"Well, you did say please," said Erick.

Now we're all laughing. Laughing and fucking. Fucking and laughing.

Until Erick was tapped out. And then a little longer. Toys, you know. Mom keeps buying them. Hey, Erick and Dad wear out.

Erick took a nap while Morgon and I explored each other.

Now we're lying in bed, with Erick in the middle. He's awake again. He doesn't have one more in him, but it doesn't stop Morgon and me from playing with his cock and balls.

"Yes it does," said Erick. "You have to stop. I am way over stimulated. I'm just a child of 9."

We stopped. Of course we stopped. But we're laughing again.

God, I love my life.

"Me too!" said Erick and Morgon. Erick just screamed it out.

Now they're kissing and I can hear Mom somewhere in the house laughing.

"So you're probably here for a reason," said Erick.

"Just a good fuck," said Morgon.

I hit her with a pillow.

Laughing again.

"We're going to go buy Columbia," said Morgon. "Erick's going to run the university. Mellanie will pick up the healthcare system and you'll have the medical school. They'll both report to you."

"OK," said Erick.

"OK?" I said. "That's all ya got?"

"What else needs to be said?" said Erick. "I'm 9. So's Morgon. So's Luke. Nylah's 7. So's Colby. Bill is 5. So is Jessica. Pari is only 12. If Morgon thinks I can do it, odds are pretty damn high I can do it."

I looked at Morgon and she just nodded.

"We going to pick up Cornell and Icahn, too?" I asked.

"Yes," said Morgon.

"Need someone to run Cornell," I said.

"Who ya got?" said Morgon.

"We have a friend at school," said Erick. "Liam. He's 12. He'd be perfect."

"Holy shit," I said.

Everyone looked at me. I'm looking at Erick. You could see it in his eyes.

"Holy shit," said Erick.

Which is when Liam walked into the room, looked at all of us, and started undressing.

"Oh goody," said Morgon. "Fresh cock."

"Are we a trio?" I said.

Erick and Liam laughed a little.

"Um, yeah," said Liam.

"So we're all engaged?" I asked.

"Um, yeah," said Erick, perfectly mimicking Liam.

Laughing and fucking. Fucking and laughing.

Morgon introduced herself to Liam while riding him cowgirl.

"It happens a lot," said Morgon.

"Girl," I said. "I am beloved in the wrestling room. I know that."

"Me too," said Liam.

Erick just nodded.

Laughing and fucking. Fucking and laughing.

We wore Liam out pretty quickly.

"Liam," I said. "We're going to go buy Columbia. Erick is going to run it and report to me. Then we're going to buy Cornell. You're going to run it. You'll report to me, too. I'll run the med schools though."

"OK," said Liam.

"This is going a lot better than it used to," said Morgon. "People used to be a lot more disbelieving."

"Were you?" asked Liam.

"I kind of eased into it," said Morgon. "I started out on a project team, then assistant team lead, then team lead on building out a school. Just worked my way up. Yours is a little more abrupt."

"Nova took over the entire New York City school system," said Erick. "I could give you dozens of other examples. What I can't give you is an example of any of those that failed."

"Yeah, it would surprise us," said Morgon. "Oh, wait. I forgot something."

She hopped out of bed, and we all watched. Why? Because she's naked and gorgeous and she went over to get something out of her pocket, which meant she had to bend way over.

"Enjoying the show?" asked Morgon, as she was rifling through her shorts.

"Very much so," said Liam.

"Uh huh," I said.

Erick could only grunt.

Morgon stood up and turned around.

"OK, I kind of loved the grunt," she said, while giving us a joyous full frontal.

"You are funny," added Morgon. "You're still getting used to nudity. Oh, I still get the same thrill from the human body but not the same rarity that you do. Have you all started a quest yet?"

"What's a quest?" asked Liam.

"Really," said Morgon. "I have got to make sure this is always included in orientation. It is supposed to be. A quest is trying every position in the Kama Sutra. For most entering our school systems, it will require embarking on an exercise program, since many of the positions require significant physical strength and dexterity. We recommend yoga. Oh, and to qualify as a quest, each position has to be done with a different partner."

"Aren't there over two hundred positions?" I asked.

"Yes," said Morgon. "I've done a quest dozens of times. Never with an overlapping partner."

"Wow," said all three of us. No, all four of us. Morgon got it out first.

"I was almost guaranteed at least one wow," she said, laughing.

"Odds were high for all three," I said.

"Yeah," she said.

We took a few minutes for payoff. OK, a little over an hour.

"So how long does it usually take to accomplish a quest?" asked Liam, taking us back into the conversation.

"Well," said Morgon. "It wouldn't be your first quest or even an early quest, but I've done the full quest in a weekend. Although I didn't sleep much."

"Wow," said, well, all four of us again. This time I got it out first.

"Hold that or we'll starve," said Morgon. "Let's eat soon."

"One last comment," said Morgon. "When you're ready to do a weekend quest, men have to do it on either Nibiru or Priapus. I'll explain what that means at lunch. Business casual. We're going on a buying colleges quest."

We did take quick showers, but one at a time. As Morgon put it, any more than that and we could starve to death.

Believable.

She took us to the most amazing restaurant called El Parador Cafe. We met Anna Maria, who owns the place and is 15. And that's just normal.

"You have the most gorgeous earrings, Anna Maria," I said. "I've never seen anything like them."

"You haven't given her earrings yet?" said Anna Maria, to Morgon.

"Oh!" said Morgon. "We kept getting distracted by great sex."

Remember? Laughing and fucking. Fucking and laughing.

Morgon pulled a small pouch out of her pocket. A velvet pouch with a drawstring. She slid it across the table to me.

"Here," she said. "These are for you. I think you'll look really nice."

I opened the pouch and then shook out two earrings. Diamond earrings.

Big, freaking amazing diamond earrings.

"May I please see one?" asked Liam. He held out his hand and I dumped both of them on his hand.

"My dad is a jeweler," said Liam. "He makes amazing custom jewelry."

"Really," said Morgon. "I have absolutely got to meet your dad. Does he take private commissions?"

"It's how he makes his living," said Liam.

"Oh joy," said Morgon. "I love this shit."

"What are you talking about?" said Erick.

"We don't just meet people at random," said Morgon. "The fact that Liam's dad makes custom jewelry, and I met Liam means something. Elfi and I are both in the inner circle of Dionysus. For her to be in a trio with you is just too big of a coincidence. We love our jewelry. We can have as many pairs of these as we want. We can have tennis bracelets and necklaces and cufflinks and toe rings and nose piercings. Anything we want. There isn't a budget. Anyone in the inner circle can."

"Can we back up to the Elfi and I are in the inner circle part please?" I said.

Morgon laughed.

"That's the point of the earrings," said Morgon. "They're inner circle earrings. They have RFID tags in them. Any place that will take a credit card or that has an RFID scanner will accept them as payment. Anywhere. Go buy a Ferrari. Go to the bank to pay for a house. Buy Connecticut. Those earrings will pay for them and draw from the Dionysus treasury. Heck, you'll pay for the schools today with those earrings."

"Can we backup to buy Connecticut?" said Erick.

"Zao bought Lebanon," said Morgon. "Nan bought Portugal by mistake. Sure, Connecticut. If Elfi thinks it is a good idea to buy it, she should buy it because if she thinks it is, it is."

"But why me?" I asked.

"We don't know," said Morgon. "No one ever does. We meet people and we know. Anyone in the inner circle can add to the inner circle. The first few times you feel it, you ask someone else, and they'll coach you. Eventually you feel comfortable making your own choices. Pari gave me the earrings for you."

"But I barely met Pari," I said.

"She said she made the decision during the girl on the street interview," said Morgon. "It doesn't take long. We know."

"So if Erick or Liam belonged in the inner circle, I would already know," I asked.

"Oh no," said Morgon. "Not necessarily. Some people have been in our world for years before that thought flashes. Some seconds. No rules in this game."

"Kind of Zen," said Liam.

"Yeah," said Morgon. "We have this conversation a lot with people we sweep into our world. When you read the journal you'll see it repeat a bit."

"There's a journal? For the country?" said Erick.

"Yeah," said Morgon. "It's a thrill ride. I'll get you phones and set up for the journal and a lot more. Your JetsonCar app changed. You'll have a reservation app for family houses. You all have access to those now. You'll see. We'll show you."

Anna Maria sat down just as Morgan shared that last bit.

"It really is a thrill," said Anna Maria. "My mom and I joined the world for the worst possible reasons when my dad was murdered but the world of Dionysus has been our savior."

Just then the food arrived along with a nice bottle of wine.

"I chose a wine for you," said Anna Maria. "I'll drop by when I can."

With that, she disappeared again.

"A wine?" I said. "I'm the oldest one here and I'm 15."

"You can drink anything you want in any place that is owned by someone from Dionysus," said Morgon. "They can but only when they're with you or someone else in the inner circle. We'll start teaching you about wines. I love this choice. It's a great starter wine. It's a light Swiss Chasselas. A small winery. A real find."

She poured a little in each of our glasses. I tried mine.

I am pretty sure we all swooned.

"This is amazing," said Liam. "I'm guessing this isn't an $8 bottle of wine."

Morgon snorted and then laughed.

"No," laughed Morgon. "It's not one of the most expensive. More of a mid-priced wine for us. It's about $75,000 a bottle. But that's OK because Elfi's paying."

"I'm what!" I said. Morgon laughed and tapped her own earring.

"It automatically leaves a super generous tip, too," said Morgon. "We believe in wildly overtipping."

Morgon poured us each about a half glass but filled up her own glass.

"That's all you get tonight," said Morgon. "Start slowly. Don't get carried away. I'll come back in a few days, and we'll sit at home and get drunk so you can experience it. You won't love it. I'll teach you to recognize when to stop. No driving though. JetsonCars."

"We live in New York," said Liam. "Driving shouldn't be an issue."

"Wherever we find you a place," said Morgon. "You'll have parking space and cars. You might not use them often, but it is kind of thing."

"I'm 9," said Erick.

"Stop it," said Morgon. "Stop limiting yourself by your age."

Erick just nodded. So did Liam.

Felt like I should, too.

Anna Maria dropped into her seat again.

"Where do you guys live?" asked Anna Maria.

"We all live at home," said Erick. "For now."

"You need a place," said Anna Maria. "Hey, Carly and Celia built a few apartments in their place. They're super nice. Consulates already. The other apartments are in the app and since it is next door to the UN it is always full of inner circle people. Fun fucks!"

She might have gotten a little carried away there since several diners looked our way. Anna Maria just gave them a little wave.

She seems fun.

"Let's do this," said Anna Maria. "Let's go look at one in the morning. I can introduce you and we can check out the apartments and test them out together with Carly and Celia."

"Test them out?" said Liam.

"Oh yeah," said Anna Maria in just the deepest voice.

Pretty sure Liam understands now.

That's when Pari walked in.

"Our day continues to improve," said Erick.

It certainly does. She pulled out a chair.

"Looks like I missed lunch," she said, grabbing a chip. "Thought it would be helpful. I'll go with Liam to buy Cornell and you can go with Erick to buy Columbia."

"What do I do?" I said.

"You go buy Icahn and Mount Sinai," said Pari. She handed me a folder.

"By myself?" I said, with a crack in my voice.

"Sure," said Pari, eating another chip. Which she manages to make sexy as hell. Which got me a smile. Which made everyone at the table wait until I finished vibrating.

Whee!

"Or I could go with you," came a voice from behind me. They pulled out a chair and sat down.

Bill.

"I'm Bill," he said, grabbing a chip. He also makes eating a chip sexy as hell. Doesn't seem like he should, at 5, but, well, he does.

Now I'm vibrating again. Then again, so is Pari.

"My son, the doctor," she said, when she stopped.

Just laughing.

"The fucking is later," said Bill.

"Well sure," said Liam.

Again, lots to tell, at least for someone like me, but they told me that the story is pretty common.

I love a good lawsuit

Well, I do. I just love a good lawsuit. I look good in a suit. It gives me an opportunity to strut.

I like to strut.

You might have guessed this is Nylah. So what lawsuit? The Beverly Hills Police Department, of course. It was on video! The cops just unloaded on Pari and Trevor. There was not even an investigation. I suspect there may be a few less cops on the force soon. Maybe Sophie will have to expand out of Iowa. Likely Sophie will have to expand out of Iowa.

We'll see. Maybe I'll lose this one.

Sorry, I had to stop to laugh. OK, and cum a little. Laughing and cumming. Cumming and laughing.

I live a great life.

I am freaking 7-years-old. I know this is immodest, but I am revered in the legal community. I don't quite get it, but hey, it's an ego boost for sure. I did need a co-counsel. So many choices now. Hunter. Hallie.

Nah.

Jessica.

My little sister.

Just struttin' right beside me. She's pretty tall, too, so we're not that far apart in height. OK, we're small, but for our age we're tall.

Still little.

We got to the reception desk inside the courthouse.

"Hi," I said. "We're here for case number A43554," I said.

"So is everyone," he said. "You'll have to go into the overflow room."

"Actually," I said. "We'll need the actual courtroom. We're the attorneys that are suing."

He actually laughed out loud. That was rude.

"That was rude," said Jessica. "I'm Jessica. She's Nylah."

"You're an attorney, too," said the guy behind us. "Holy shit. They have no chance."

The guard looked past us to the dude behind us. Who he clearly knows.

"You know who these little girls are?" said the guard.

"I'm pretty stunned you don't," said the dude. "Princess Nylah is, bar none, the most famous attorney in the world. The fact that her younger sister Princess Jessica is an attorney too says this case is done, done, done."

"Bar none," said Jessica. We're both laughing.

"Dude," I said to, well, the dude. "You have to tell that to Dad. He rewards bad Dad jokes."

"Dad," said the dude. "Your dad. King Bob. Rewards them."

"Usually by fucking you in the ass," said Jessica. "While I have not yet experienced it, my observation says it is transcendent."

"I will experience it on my ninth birthday," I said.

"Me too!" said Jessica, with such glee. "My ninth, not yours."

"Dammit," said Jessica.

Now we're laughing. The two guys are kind of staring.

"What's your name?" I said to the dude.

"Ikem," he said. "I'm a public defender."

"Good for you," said Jessica. She handed him a card.

"Text me," said Jessica. "We'll have you over for the weekend. We can find out more about your friends and family. We'll invite them, too. Any siblings?"

"Just my sister Latanya," said Ikem. "But she's only 10."

"A simply wonderful age," I said.

Well, it is.

We got signed in and left Ikem standing there imagining his 10-year-old sister naked.

Well, he is. How do I know?

That's like asking how I know he is well-endowed.

You get my point, right?

We took the opportunity to strut into the courtroom.

Fuck yeah, we strutted. It's a power move. I know my reputation. I cultivate it. Being feared is a strength as a litigation attorney.

Jessica is, well, Jessica. There is a lot of awe in the world for Jessica.

Deservedly so.

We hit the door at speed and it opened a little faster than expected, so there was a little crash as we entered the room. Unintentional, but effective. Every eye in the room swung to us as we continued our strut right up to the gate to our table. Even the bailiff was a bit stunned and didn't slow us down. It was absolutely silent in the room, except for one word, under the breath, of the lead defense attorney. It was soft but he did not anticipate the lull in the conversation.

"Shit," he said.

What he said. By the way, this is going to be a repeat. It kind of is. This is not the first time one of us has been shot at. How crazy is that.

It won't be the last.

"All rise," said the bailiff.

Doing the best we can over here.

The judge came in and sat down. She kind of surveyed the courtroom and landed on us.

I love the raised eyebrows.

"Your reputation precedes you, Princess Nylah," she said. "Is it too big a stretch to infer that Princess Jessica is your co-counsel?"

"I am, your honor," said Jessica.

She took a look at opposing counsel.

And started laughing. She had trouble stopping. Every time she got close, she looked at us, then them, and rolled right into another round of laughter.

We waited patiently. Hell, it is a compliment. She finally got herself under control.

"The court apologizes," she said, in a voice that said she really wants to laugh some more. "That was unprofessional of me. Let's jump in. I admit I am surprised this case has not been settled."

"They have not made an offer that interests us, your honor," I said.

"What have they been offering?" asked the judge.

"Money, your honor," said Jessica.

We all waited for the judge to stop laughing again.

"Money?" said the judge. "They're offering money to Dionysus?"

Another round of laughing.

"According to your filings," said the judge. "You're just asking for proper training of their police force. You're not even asking for monetary damages or that the officers involved be fired."

"Yes, your honor," I said.

She turned to opposing counsel.

"Are you all nuts?" she said. "They want your people to be properly trained and have offered to cover all the costs and provide the trainers. Why are we even here? They could be pushing for criminal charges and the firing of an awful lot of people. You literally did nothing to the officers involved."

The two opposing attorneys kind of looked at each other.

"Our directions have been to take the case to court," said their lead counsel. "There is a strong belief we will win."

Now we're all just staring at them.

"How?" said the judge. "Multiple officers fired on two unarmed people. Some reloaded and kept shooting."

"The officers believed themselves to be in danger," said their attorney.

"From Trevor Noah and Queen Pari?" said the judge. "Queen Pari is 12."

"Yes, your honor," said their attorney. "We believe the testimony of the officers involved will show their actions were appropriate."

"What about then they show the video?" said the judge. "It was live streamed!"

They shuffled around a bit but didn't seem to have an answer.

The judge looked at them again and turned to us.

"This is going to be entertaining, isn't it?" said the judge to us.

We just smiled. It felt rhetorical.

We got through the opening statements, which really didn't add anything. Ours was short. Jessica did it.

Quite well.

Now it is time for witnesses. We get to go first. We called the officer that reloaded to keep firing. I am absolutely not putting his name in the journal, so we'll just call him Reload.

Officer Reload.

"Could you please describe the shooting from your perspective?" I asked, of the officer.

"Objection," shouted opposing counsel. "This shouldn't be described as a shooting."

"Where guns fired?" asked the judge.

"Well, yes," said opposing counsel. Not getting in the journal either.

"Overruled," said the judge in a tone that rocked back their attorney.

Do not fuck with this judge.

OK, I would if I was old enough.

"Me too," thought Jessica.

She's mid-fifties, Black, and a large woman.

Whee!

We will ensure she is invited to our parties.

Something about a powerful woman turns us on.

Jessica just grunted. I think that is agreement.

Focus, Nylah.

"Can you please describe the situation from your perspective?" I said. No need to be annoying. Juries notice. Although in this situation, they waived a jury trial in favor of a bench trial. In other words, the judge decides.

We'll see how that goes for them.

"Well," said Officer Reload. "My partner and I stopped them. We called for backup due to our concern about their initiating a physical altercation. We saw aggressive moves toward us and defended ourselves."

"Are you normally scared of 12-year-old girls that weigh under 100 pounds?" I asked.

"Well," he said, in a superior tone. "We're well aware that Queen Pari has extensive training in martial arts."

"So you knew it was Queen Pari when you fired," I said.

"No, no," he said. "We had not determined that yet."

"Then how did you know of her training?" I asked. "She was just a random child out for a jog."

"We're aware of her training," he said, smugly.

I looked at the judge and she's about to laugh again.

"Your statements are contradictory," I said. "You say that you didn't know it was Queen Pari when you fired and yet your fear was because of what you knew of Queen Pari. Those are incompatible statements. Which is the truth?"

"You can't handle the truth!" he shouted.

I looked at the judge again and she's barely holding it together.

"Well, perhaps not," I said. "But we would love to understand."

"We can't have their kind in our neighborhood!" he shouted.

"Their kind," I said. "People that exercise? Children? What do you mean?"

I will not type his racist rant here. It was awful. He completely broke down and just went off. Yes, all those words we won't put in the journal.

Two bailiffs had to forcibly remove him from the stand. He was thrashing around a lot.

Wild shit, man.

Sophie and Leslie will be out to Beverly Hills soon to start their training.

Gonna run a marathon

Pari again. As mentioned, the Association of International Marathons and Distance Races reached out about holding a marathon through Watts. I had to laugh because the original route took the race through Beverly Hills and the complaints of residents got it cancelled.

Entitled much?

The entire community welcomed the race into Watts. It is going to be positive publicity for the community. The transformation is incredible. It is clean. It is safe. The families know and support each other.

It is a good thing.

And let's throw in a dash of protestors. But I'm going to ignore them right now. We opened up a big area for protestors and set up a refreshment stand next to it with a big sign.

Free refreshments for protestors

It's a pretty impressive refreshment stand. We have three huge barbeque smokers, we have burgers and hot dogs, we have steaks. Fries or baked potatoes. Onion rings. Old fashioned milk shakes with real ice cream.

All free.

It was Tia's idea. Her theory is that we completely ignore them other than feeding them and then let the media focus on them.

Enjoying the fuck out of the steak and baked potato.

And don't forget the milkshakes.

Oh, there are tables and chairs set up, too.

Did I mention the huge collection of desserts?

We all absolutely loved the idea. We are doing this again. It is going to be really hard to legitimately protest while eating a ribeye we provided you.

It just is. Oh, you can try, but it isn't going to be particularly effective.

I am having trouble controlling my laughter. Did I mention that one of the people manning the smokers is a bit scruffy, in cargo shorts and a Ron's Surf shop T-shirt. There is a pool on when he will be recognized. I am a lock.

I chose never.

He fucking loves it.

Apparently we are going on a tangent now.

I do fucking love it

I really do love it. Sometimes the pressure of being the King is pretty high. I like it when I am not recognized. Right now, I have moved over to the giant griddle and am preparing ribeyes are fast as I can.

Wagyu beef.

Would you expect us to do less?

There are about 30 protestors milling about. I'm hearing snippets of conversations and they're hilarious.

They're evil pedophiles...damn this steak is good

My kids are furious with me for being here

Queen Pari is sexy as hell. I'd do her

So much for protecting children.

Speaking of which, I try not to laugh that every single kid of protestors knows exactly who I am. Not one outed me to their parents.

Not one.

Now, a lot of them had really outstanding suggestions.

Not going there.

Darn it.

I could tell you more, but the entire day was just fun. The race went off flawlessly and there were comments that it was the best prepared race with the best crowd of any event they could remember.

Again, would you expect less of us?

We've offered that they can do races anywhere that we can help. We already have Nashville scheduled. Dallas will run through our campus and associated purchases. Clearwater is in the area that Chris developed.

We'll be cooking steaks at them all. Shit. I'd better focus.

We're feeding all the marathoners and their families, too.

Fuck yeah.

One more short story

One more little quick wrap-up. If you recall, there was an attorney named Ikem when we sued Beverly Hills. Oh, this is Nylah. He appeared a bit confused about his sister Latanya. He doesn't volunteer.

Now he does.

Which is good because they're soulmates.

Trevor finally visited Robertville, too. No, that's not quite right. Technically Amyville.

The Gamma resort.

Muhamed and his family came, too. Oh, they came.

Repeatedly.

Whee!

The Space Ray

Leslie, here. Just a little story to finish out the entry. Did you know that the Outer Space treaty was signed in 1967? The signing countries, which included the US and the Soviet Union, along with other major powers, agreed to not militarize space and to not put weapons in space.

In 1967, Mom and Dad hadn't been born yet. Heck, Mom's parents, John and Amy, hadn't been born yet. I don't know about Dad's parents.

Why does any of that matter?

Because we were putting weapons in space. Stop looking so aghast. We control space. Other countries either send their shit up on old school rockets or hire us to do it.

You probably read all about our Dionysus Positioning System. DPS. Superior to but compatible with GPS. The US wasn't even trying to maintain their GPS satellites anymore. Everyone counted on us now.

Now, that is fine with us. We are happy to help. We have truly become a superpower in all areas, and it is absolutely insane that it is true. Six years ago I lived in Nebraska. It was right before our move. Before Dad and Mom saved us.

Things have changed just a bit.

Back to space weapons. I'm not great with segues am I?

If you recall, we have ion guns now. Our real-world Star Trek disruptors.

Not all of them were little handguns. In fact, I had the tech built into my earrings now along with my personal shield.

You just can't make this shit up.

So anyway. The DPS satellites are all ion powered. That is likely obvious. They use antigrav tech for positioning. The disruptors are really modulated antigrav tech.

A + B + C = D

All the DPS satellites are disruptors, on quite a large scale. They can be focused and knock a person out or they can be widespread and put a city to sleep. The wider you go the less power. If you focus on one person, you can go from knocking them out to vaporizing them. OK, more than one person. Sometimes we need an entire building gone. You know from our rebuilding schools and more that we can essentially vaporize buildings from a helicopter. What no one knew was that on the last one, the helicopter was up for show. The building was vaporized from space.

Why did we do this? Because we could. I suppose if Dad ever turns to the dark side, this could all be an issue, but the world was changing and yet we still needed protection. I guess I should mention that the same tech went up that went down, meaning we had ground based guns, too. If we were ever invaded, we could hurt them. The satellites can fire up, too. Yes, we are prepared for an alien invasion. Hey, we know there are a lot of aliens. The chances of at least of few of them being assholes is high.

Honestly, our planet is full of them.

Yes, we think about these things now. It kind of sucks. Want us to vaporize the moon?

No we can't vaporize the moon. OK, we probably could. Let's not go there.

This is an odd little post. I think I'll leave it here. Things just move so fast. It feels like we're evolving.

Nah.

Are we?

Asks the girl that can fly.

But we feel a responsibility to protect the planet. From those on the planet.

And those that are not.

Weird shit, man.

Email me. Comments, ideas, and suggestions welcome

End of Chapter