Date: Sun, 17 Mar 2019 10:12:42 -0500
From: Beatrix Adara <trixieadara@gmail.com>
Subject: The Rabbit Hole Ch. 09

The Rabbit Hole Chapter 9: Condone & Control
By Trixie Adara
Edited by ALewdEditor[a]


Nadia


        Nadia climbs on top of her desk while the water rises, filling her
office. Everywhere she looks, everywhere, there is water. She looks up in
panic, and everyone else in the office works as though nothing is
happening. Her mother and father type away mindlessly on a keyboard,
smiling at each other occasionally as the water covers their knees. Her
sister works on a drawing, humming a song, while the water kisses her
waist. Her principal is disciplining a student, one of Nadia's favorite
ones, while the water rises around them. She watches in horror as the water
reaches the student's neck, but the principal does nothing.
        Nadia opens her mouth to scream but nothing happens. Her vocal
chords don't tighten or vibrate. Her lips don't widen. They open barely,
and then to do even that is a tremendous effort. She watches on silently,
opening and closing her mouth like a dumb fish. She is the only one who
sees, who understands. They are all going to drown. The water pours in from
under the doors, from cracks in the ceiling, from the windows. They will
drown and no one can save them but themselves.
        She watches as Joe stands, and she thinks for a moment that he will
join her on top of the desk, but he walks towards the door. He opens it,
and a wave crashes against him, crushing him. Nadia winces as she hears the
bones break, or at least, she tries to wince. Her body does nothing but
watch passively as Joe is broken and submerged. Her lips curl into a smile
as his arms flail above the surface, but his face remains below.
        Nadia jumps off of the desk to her boyfriend. She struggles to wade
through the water, choosing to half swim her way there. She doesn't look
around at anyone else, doesn't dare notice her family disappear in the dark
depths. She swims towards Joe, the only other person who seems awake in the
room, and tries to save him.
        As she arrives, Joe's arms go limp and he disappears into the
depths. Nadia plunges down, trying to look for him, but the water is too
dark, almost black. She comes back up, standing on her tiptoes as the water
covers her ears. As she tilts her head up, she sees Joanna, standing
impossibly tall, naked, glorious, and smiling compassionately.
        The loving bimbo bends down, plants a kiss on Nadia's lips, and
presses down on her shoulders. The last thing Nadia sees before the black
takes her is the kind grin on her best friend.


*********


        Nadia woke up with a gasp and rolled over to the side of the bed
all in one motion. She sat up and put her head in her hands.
        "Only a dream," she whispered. "Only a dream."
        As she caught her breath, she felt the warm body of Joanna wrap
itself around her.
        "Another?" she asked.
        "Yeah," said Nadia. "The same one."
        "Awww, hun. I'm so sorry."
        Joanna's arms curled up over Nadia's shoulders and she gently
placed her chin there. "Have you talked to Penny about it?"
        "How can I? I think it's about her."
        "Because I turn into me?"
        "Well ... yeah." Nadia shrugged off Joanna's embrace and stood. She
didn't like discussing Joe's transformation, especially now that it turned
her on so much, especially when it came from Joanna's mouth. She paced
around the room, and eventually went to her closet and got a huge t-shirt
to cover herself.
        "If it's about Penny, maybe she can help you. She can fix it."
        "Maybe." Nadia paced back and forth, biting on the side of her
pointer finger. "But what if it's my mind shaking off her control? What if
there is some part of her that fades, that slips? What if ..."  Nadia took
a deep breath. She knew the next word. These past months, living beneath
Penny, living for Penny, operating as her stage hand, working on the
experimental drug, finding new participants, during all of it, whenever she
wasn't Dolly, there was a small thought nagging at her. It wormed its way
through her mind, but she couldn't leave it there. She needed someone
outside her mind, outside of Penny's influence, and Joanna was anything but
that. It was a risk to speak it aloud. Joanna could run upstairs and tell
Penny immediately. She could pin Nadia down and bring back Penny to wipe
away all doubt, all thought. Nadia could be trapped as Dolly forever.  But
what if it was wrong? What if this was all wrong? Penny was god, Nadia knew
that to her core, but should god punish people the way Penny did? Should
she make it feel so ... good to see other people destroyed?  Because even
if Penny loved it, if Penny wanted it, did Nadia want it? She
participated. She gave Penny ideas. She enjoyed the fate of
Dr. Tuminaro. She loved seeing him beg for cum and lick it off the
floor. She got to watch his wife catch him with three men fucking him at
once. It was the most beautiful and erotic scene she'd ever seen.  But the
darkness ... He didn't want that. Penny wanted it. Nadia wanted it. Nadia
asked her goddess to make it happen and it happened. Penny planned worse
for Joanna. And what if ... what if she had something similar planned for
Nadia?  She only had these moments of clarity in the middle of the night,
right after a nightmare. If she went back to sleep, if she found herself
around Penny again, she'd go back to being perfectly happy. She wouldn't
mind any of this in the slightest. She'd be turned on, content, and
submissive. She'd be Nadia, the Cruel or Dolly, the Empty Toy.  "We should
go," said Nadia quickly. She turned to look at Joanna and bit her pointer
finger again. "Right now."  "Go?" giggled Joanna. "Where on earth would we
go?"  "Anywhere. Away. Someplace ... safe. Someplace far."  "Where could be
safer than with Penny?"  "You're right," sighed Nadia. She knew it would be
impossible to convince Joanna. Joanna wasn't simply under Penny's
control. She was Penny's creation. "I was just feeling a little
anxious. You know, with the nightmares and all."  "You want to go talk to
Penny?"  "She hates to have her sleep disturbed," lied Nadia.  "She does?"
"Yeah. She doesn't get a lot of it, so when she does sleep, she wants
absolute peace." That part, from what Nadia had seen, was the truth. In her
time with Penny as Nadia--not Dolly--she could only recall seeing Penny
fall asleep a handful of times. Each of them were after tears and begging
to be held. Never any other time.  "I have some pills you could take,"
suggested Joanna.  "What kind?"  "I don't know. Funny words."  Nadia
sighed. "Do you know where Penny keeps Dr. Tuminaro? I could ask him."  "Oh
yeah, good idea." Joanna yawned and slid herself back under the
covers. "She keeps him in her office now that she never uses it."
"Permanently?"  "Yeah. In a chair or something." Joanna rolled to one side,
away from Nadia. "You should go talk to him."  "Yeah." Nadia went to Joanna
and kissed her on the forehead. "I will. Goodnight."  "Goodnight, beautiful
lady," sighed Joanna. She was adorable with her eyes closed. When Nadia
looked at her, she could tell that she used to be Joe. You could see it in
her face, her lips. Nadia could imagine Joanna with shorter hair, with a
bushy eyebrows, with no tits. She could see her former boyfriend in her
current bestfriend, but it was like a ghost that haunted her body, not a
person. But she could never imagine Joe speaking to her with such
tenderness, such patience, such affection. Perhaps Joanna was an improved
Joe. Perhaps what Penny did wasn't so bad.  But Joanna deserved to make her
own life, ruined as it may be from Penny. She deserved freedom and
choice. She deserved her free will that was savagely stolen from her. Nadia
began packing. She didn't have much time, and things would have to move
quickly now. She filled bags with her clothes and basic possessions, and
without any hesitation, she packed bags for Joanna as well.


*****


        Upstairs, Nadia crept through Penny's apartment. Penny made sure
they had keys so they could enter or exit without her help. She sometimes
had them cook her breakfast or clean up and give Harold time off as
punishment if they displeased her. They were her additional servants, her
sex-slaves, and that meant she freely gave them access to her life. She
owned them completely, right? There should have been no risk involved.
        The office was unlocked, and when Nadia opened the door, she almost
gagged. The room reeked. There was sweat and semen, she knew both of those
smells instantly. There was another, almost like vinegar. It was sharp and
sour, and as Nadia entered, she realized it was urine.
        Inside the room, strapped to a chair, was Dr. Tuminaro. He looked
thinner. He was naked except for a chastity cage around his cock. He was
covered in several sticky liquids and half asleep. In front of him was the
only clean surface in the room: his laptop. From here, Penny made sure he
kept working for her. Nadia could only imagine the depraved things Penny
did with the doctor in this room. Lately, she didn't watch Penny's
sessions. She had been on the road, doing shows with Penny and Joanna,
turning an innocent couple or skeptic at each show. It seemed Dr. Tuminaro
received the worst of Penny's considerable wrath.
        Nadia unstrapped the doctor. He rolled to one side, and she
hesitated to catch him. She didn't want to touch him at all, so he fell to
the floor softly and woke up. Quickly, Nadia jumped to his side and clamped
a hand over his mouth. His eyes were wide with terror, but he quickly
calmed down when he saw Nadia.
        "I'm not going to hurt you," whispered Nadia. "I want to free
you. You understand?"
        Dr. Tuminaro nodded.
        "You're going to be quiet?"
        He nodded again.
        "Good." Nadia took her hand off his mouth. "Do you have any clothes
here?"
        "No," whispered the doctor. "She took them all."
        "Okay." Nadia looked around. "I can get something, but I need you
to stay here. I can't risk you wandering around. Okay?"
        He nodded.
        Nadia quickly went to The Rabbit Hole. There, she grabbed some
basic equipment for trancing on the go: two VR headsets and
headphones. Then, she went to the closet by the front door and grabbed one
of Penny's long coats. It would look silly on the doctor, but it would keep
them from getting arrested.
        As Nadia stepped out of the closet, she heard something moving down
the hallway. It sounded like a click or maybe a soft thud.
        She quickly dropped low, onto her hands and knees. The sound kept
approaching, back from Penny's room, from Penny's office, from The Rabbit
Hole. Was she awake? Was it Harold? Was the doctor moving around?
        Nadia held her breath. She put the coat and VR equipment by the
door and silently moved closer to the sound. If it was the doctor, she
needed to tell him to shut the fuck up. If it was anybody else, she needed
to run. Right? Maybe not. As she slunk through the kitchen, she grabbed a
cast iron frying pan hanging from above the stove. It was heavier than
Nadia thought, and it clanked against the stovetop as she pulled it down.
Nadia lowered herself beneath the eyeline of the countertops and cursed in
her mind. She waited, listening to the sound getting closer. It was
definitely footsteps. They didn't sound like they had shoes on, so probably
not Harold. They didn't sound heavy, so probably not the doctor, but he had
lost a lot of weight. It was hard to say, and she was running out of time.
She reached the wall of the penthouse floor, just between the hallway
leading to Penny's office and bedroom and the more public spaces. The
footsteps were approaching. They stopped for a moment, and Nadia heard a
door swing open. Penny's office? Would she see the doctor?  Nadia stood by
the side of the door and raised the cast iron frying pan. She only had one
chance. If Penny got the chance to speak, Nadia would be doomed. She had to
be swift and relentless. No hesitation. No missing. If Penny caught her
like this, she could end up like Joanna or worse, like Dr. Tuminaro.  The
door to the kitchen opened slowly. Nadia saw Penny step past her. Her hair
was in disarray and her hands were clenched. She was tense. She knew
something was wrong.  "Show yourself," she commanded.  Nadia felt the
puppet strings of her words pull on her limbs. The air around Penny seemed
to shimmer or shake. Nadia had to obey. This was her goddess. Penny made
realities. She made people and personalities. The human mind created the
world in its senses and perceptions, and Penny ruled the mind. There was no
resisting her.  Nadia stepped forward into the hall light and lowered the
cast iron frying pan with all her strength onto the back of Penny's
head. Penny turned towards Nadia just in time for the pan to miss the top
of her head, hitting more to the side. Nevertheless, Penny crumpled to the
floor.  Nadia looked at her goddess, her friend, her lover. Penny always
looked so peaceful, so innocent, when she slept. The same was true now, but
a sinister rivulet of blood trickled down her neck and onto the floor. The
sight of it woke Nadia up to the reality. She had no time to waste.  She
ran into Penny's office and grabbed the doctor. As she passed Penny's body,
she turned and ran into Penny's bedroom, grabbing her cellphone. Then, she
and the doctor went back to the door and grabbed the trancing equipment and
wrapped a coat around the doctor. Nadia didn't look back as she closed the
door behind her.  She couldn't afford the temptation.


***********


        Nadia paced back and forth inside the shitty motel room she had
found. They used all the spare cash they had on them to get across the
city. They couldn't use any cards or anything traceable. Penny would try
that first. She'd also track their phones. After Nadia used Penny's phone
to call for an ambulance, she smashed it and threw it off the balcony of
her apartment in different directions. Paying for the motel was
tricky. Nadia offered the clerk a blowjob from Joanna if he would let them
pay tomorrow. That felt awful, but it worked.  For now, they were
safe. Unless Penny had more trackers and could miraculously heal from a
severe head wound, they had bought themselves a few days to distance
themselves from her. Joanna was sleeping on the bed, the VR headset over
her eyes and headphones over her ears. Nadia couldn't risk a fight with her
and decided putting her in trance was the easiest way to move
her. Dr. Tuminaro was outside, pacing around the different rooms. He had
some sort of psychotic break and wouldn't stop repeating "that bitch" and
"the Queen of Hearts" over and over. When Nadia couldn't stand it anymore,
she sent him outside.  His muttering started about halfway through their
ride to the motel, Nadia felt this huge weight shift off of her body, a
cloud removed from her mind. It was as though her mind was wearing
sunglasses, unable to see things clearly. Then, suddenly, the sunglasses
were gone and the whole situation crashed around her. She felt the weight
of her decisions to join Penny. She knew with perfect clarity how terrible
the things she did were, how terrible the things Penny made her do
were. She felt a new weight on her, one of immense guilt, but she couldn't
dwell on them. As her mind cleared, so did Dr. Tuminaro's. That was when
his mind broke.  Nadia knew if she took the trancing devices off of Joanna,
the same thing would happen to her. Suddenly, she would be Joe trapped in
Joanna's body. She would remember everything she'd ever done and
despair. She wouldn't have the guilt that Nadia did. No. She'd break down
like the doctor. Her best friend would be gone and replaced with a babbling
version of her ex-boyfriend.  But she couldn't play the passive role
anymore either. The trancing devices were more of The Rabbit Hole. Joanna
was being programmed to love cock, to serve men, to think less, to never
question. She couldn't pay the price of their stall tactic, but she didn't
know what to do when Joe woke up.  Nadia took a deep breath and took the
headset off along with the headphones. She stepped back as though Joanna
was a bomb, and stared as her eyes fluttered. Strangely, she found herself
admiring Joanna's long eyelashes. She was beautiful in an exaggerated
way--as though as she was a parody of true beauty. There was so much about
her to desire, and so much about her to be disgusted with: her comically
big tits, her overly plump lips, the vacant look in her eyes, the
exaggerated movement of her hips and ass. And yet, she was so innocent to
that all, as though it were all an accident. It was a strategic attempt of
Penny's to seduce men to use her, but it wasn't Joanna's plan. She was
simply Joanna, dealing with the consequences of her absurd attractiveness.
"Joe?" asked Nadia.  "Ugh," sighed Joe, his voice deeper, though not as
deep as it was before Joanna, as he raised his hand to his forehead. "What
the fuck ..." He looked hungover as he closed his eyes and turned his head
to one sigh.  "How do you feel?"  "I just ... one second, okay, babe?"
"Yeah," whispered Nadia. "One second."
        Suddenly, Joe shot up. "Holy shit!" He looked down at his body, but
surely couldn't see past his tits. "Holy fucking shit!" He was in a pink
tank-top that pretty much only covered his nipples, acting more as a
bralette than a shirt, and tight black yoga pants. Joanna normally slept in
much less, so he was lucky to get this much coverage.
        "Joe," said Nadia, quickly moving to his side. "It's okay."
        "What the fuck?!" he shouted. "What the actual fuck?" He scrambled
away from the spot in the bed where he was, away from Nadia, as though by
moving, he could escape his body. "Fuck!" he shouted as he looked down
again. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" It was building up to shrieking as he went
around the room, looking down at his tits, turning and looking at his
shaved and shapely legs, his long and pink nails.
        Nadia followed him, but he ran into the bathroom. He didn't need to
look, the memories would come back to him, wouldn't they? Or was Penny's
power fading separate from the trancing she'd done to him?
        Nadia went into the bathroom. Joe had calmed down. He was turning
and looking at himself, examining every inch of his body. He ran his hands
through his long hair. It was real. He gripped his tits. They were fake,
but they were really fake.
        "It wasn't a dream," she whispered. "I'm sorry."
        "This is me?"
        "Yeah."
        "Holy shit." He lifted his yoga pants and looked down at his
pantiless crotch, smooth and real. "Fuuuuuuuuuuck," he sighed. Slowly, he
sank to his knees. "That bitch."
        Then, the anger broke. Shock set in and with shock came terror and
with terror came the realization that this was real. This was real and
there was no going back. This was real and this was his life now. This was
real and Penny had won, all over a few flippant comments at a stage show.
        The tears came, and Joe closed the door on Nadia, separating
himself from her as he covered his face and began to sob quietly. Nadia
sank to the floor, powerless to help him, powerless to make it alright. It
wasn't alright. There was nothing sexy or kinky about any of this. Penny
had done a terrible thing. She treated their lives, their minds, like
playgrounds, but as soon as the illusion was over, there were broken people
in her wake. They were powerless to reverse it: their fate was sealed by
gods and goddesses.
        "I'm sorry," Nadia said to door. "I'm so sorry."
        There was a long pause. Nadia waited for the door to open, for Joe
to say something, but there was nothing. There was just the yawning void of
all Penny had ruined. There was consequences of her temptation and
curiosity. There was the devastation of Joe's cruelty and his punishment,
earned or undeserved. There was regret. Nadia had never felt it so keenly
as she did now. Regret on regret, pain on pain, the absolute certainty that
the world was a worse place, a darker place, and you helped make it that
way.
        "It's not your fault," said Joe finally, his voice thick from
crying.
        "I brought you to the show."
        "Don't do that. You know whose fault it is."
        "I guess."
        As horrible as it sounded, Nadia struggled to put all the blame on
Penny. Something about her felt like a child lashing out more than a
predator. Sure, she overreacted to Joe at the time, but Joanna told her all
the horrible things Joe did to other women. He would make Nadia feel
guilty, so she would talk to him out of obligation. He did that on
purpose. It was all calculated. He played women, and when they wouldn't
play along, sometimes he took what he wanted by force. He wasn't a good
man, but Penny didn't know that when she took him.
        And what about Dr. Tuminaro? He was experimenting on people without
their permission. That's illegal and cruel. He did deserve punishment, but
did he deserve whatever Penny did to him? Did anyone deserve that?
        No. Probably not. She had always gone too far, as though she felt
perpetually backed into a corner. She was a tigress, lashing out at those
that pressured her, scared her, tried to chase her into the cage. Maybe you
put that tiger down, or maybe you set it free.
        "I'm disgusting," whispered Joe.
        "What?"
        The bathroom door slowly swung open. Joe was standing there, naked
now, staring at himself in the mirror. His eyes were puffy and wet, snot
dripped from his nose, and his face was one of total loathing.
        "I'm disgusting," he repeated.
        "No you're not."
        Nadia stood up and came into the bathroom. She stood behind Joe,
looking over his shoulder at Joanna, her best friend in the ongoing
darkness of the past few weeks.
        "I look like some plastic toy. Like ... God, she made me ... she
made me ..."
        The tears well up, and Joe scrunches his face into another mask of
pain, sending the tears back down his cheeks. Nadia tries to say something,
but she doesn't know what Joe knows. Some memories come back slowly. Does
he remember being stupid? Does he remember being used freely and often by
strangers? Do the sensations come back, or is it like watching someone
else? For Nadia, it was like watching a movie, especially when she was
Dolly. It was something that happened to her, not something she was present
for.
        What could she say that would make it better? What could she do?
        Nadia wrapped her arms around Joe from behind. His body was still
Joanna's; a body Nadia knew well. A body that held her, that comforted her,
that enticed and seduced her. She would put her head on Joanna's lap while
they watched movies, and Joanna would run her hands through Nadia's short
hair, petting her. Was that all Joanna? All some construct from Penny's
imagination? Did she have Penny to thank for that or Joe?
        "I can't separate all that happened from what was me and what was
her," said Nadia, turning her cheek against the back of Joe's shoulder.
        "I can," said Joe. "It wasn't me that ... that ... did all those
things."
        "But was it you when you told a joke?" asked Nadia. "What that
Penny or was that Joe?"
        "I don't know."
        "Or when you argued with me? When you comforted me? Was that Penny
or Joe?"
        Joe said nothing. After a moment, he turned and faced Nadia. He
hugged her, holding her there, and Nadia hugged him back. It wasn't
entirely like hugging Joanna, but it was nothing like hugging Joe. Joe
could never come back, not entirely. The trauma of Penny would linger on
his identity forever. Neither could Nadia come back. Penny had opened a
door she always wanted open. Penny had gone too far, but Nadia could feel
even now, that being Dolly would be better than dealing with the weight of
humanity.
        "I'm ugly," whispered Joe. "That's the worst of it. When I walk
around like this, people will know what I've done. They will know what I'm
good at, what I'm good for. I can't hide what she's done to me from
everyone who looks at me."
        "You're not ugly." Nadia stepped away from Joe and turned him
around. She stepped to the side so they could both look at Joanna's
body. Her chest was huge, porn star huge, and her shoulders were slumped
forward from the weight of them. Her hair was dirty blonde and wavy,
flirting with curly, cascading over her shoulder and down her back. Her
lips were plump and full. Her eyes were large, and her long eyelashes made
them seem larger. Her face was soft and long, pointed with a strong jawline
at the bottom. She had a piercing in her nose and several along her ear and
some type of tribal tattoo on her right wrist and outer hand. Nadia knew
that if she turned around, they would see the tattoo along her lower back
saying "easy." She had a belly button piercing what dangled down an inch
and a smooth, plump pussy. She did look like a porn star, but without the
confident look, the desire to seduce or take. There was an innocence there
that always attracted Nadia to her.
        Behind the innocence was a storm of worry and intelligence that
Joanna never had. This was Joe, analyzing his new body, worried about what
others would think. He was vulnerable, scared, angry, and despairing. His
world was over. There was no way he could go back to his old life and no
way he could go back to Penny now. What other option was there?
        A new start.
        "I think you're beautiful," said Nadia.
        "What?" asked Joe. He stepped back as he said it, almost afraid of
the words.
        "I know that's new for you to hear." Nadia stepped to the side and
turned, facing Joe while he looked at his body in the mirror. "But you are
beautiful."
        "These?" Joe cupped his huge tits and raised them, then let them
drop. His upper body bent at the weight of his tits falling.
        "Yes." Nadia stepped forward and cupped Joe's breasts. "These are
beautiful." She bent down and lightly kissed them.
        Joe stepped away. "Stop."
        Nadia looked up. She had seen that face before, that fear and
panic, on Penny. She held his gaze and stepped closer. "You're beautiful,"
she repeated.
        "Stop saying that." Joe walked out of the bathroom and into the
bedroom.
        Nadia followed. "Why? It's true. You don't see it? Fine. Welcome to
being a woman. There is no inner beauty. You can't conjure it out of
positive thinking. It is bestowed upon us by those that love us, those we
trust."
        "Stop," said Joe, but his heart wasn't in it. "I'm not. I'm
ugly. I'm disgusting."
        Nadia followed him to the door of the motel room. There he stopped
and faced her, and again she pressed upon him, cupping his breasts once
more.
        "These," she said, kissing them gently, "are beautiful." She kissed
them again, and Joe didn't pull away. "They are big, but they are
yours. They are yours, and they are beautiful. They are beautiful, and you
are beautiful." She traced tiny kisses, light as feathers, light as
snowflakes, over Joe's skin. When she finally kissed Joe's nipples, he
sighed and arched his back into it. Nadia took the invitation to partly
open her mouth and take the hardening nipple inside. She sucked on them
lightly, barely flicking them slowly with her tongue, like a massage. Joe's
moans grew louder as he bent his knees into it, losing control.
        Nadia pulled her mouth away, and Joe whimpered. "Let me show you
what I see," she said as she pulled Joe to the bed. Joe laid down, relaxing
and looking at Nadia. Joe had never looked at her that way before, but
Joanna had done so many times. It was a look of desperation, of lust, of
patience, of desire, of ... a kind of love. Nadia smiled to see her old
friend back, even if for a moment.
        She bent down over Joe and began to kiss his thighs. "These are
beautiful." She kissed down to Joe's polished toes. "These are beautiful
and look fantastic in heels." She switched to the other foot and kissed her
way up. She kissed past Joe's thigh and to his belly button. She kissed
that, and slid her tongue down, swirling it over Joe's belly button. "I
love this new piercing on you." He gasped and spread his arms, clenching
the sheets of the bed. His breathing increased, his eyes closed, and his
body clenched as Nadia moved her kisses up his body to his breasts. She
kissed under his breasts at first, the often ignored flesh between breast
and chest. It's delightfully sensitive, and Joe squirmed under her kisses.
        Nadia took her time with Joe's breasts. As a male, he'd rarely had
his breasts properly worshipped, and she wanted to show him the wonders of
his new body. Somewhere inside of Joe were all the memories of being
Joanna. He could access those again, even if he couldn't be her all
over. He could find the joy in being her. She kissed small circles over his
breasts, avoiding the nipples as long as she could.
        "Please," begged Joe. "Please kiss them."
        "Kiss what?" asked Nadia, smiling through more and more kisses.
        "My nipples," whined Joe.
        "I thought they were ugly?" teased Nadia.
        "I don't care. Please, please kiss them."
        "Say they're beautiful."
        "They're beautiful. They're so beautiful. Just please, please kiss
them."
        "As you wish," said Nadia, and lightly kissed Joe's nipples. He
arched his back, and she let him slide them into her mouth, where she could
suck on them. Nadia reached up and ran her hands through Joe's hair. "I
love your beautiful hair," she said, tugging on it slightly. She straddled
him now, pinned him between her legs with her mouth teasing his nipples,
and he gripped the sheets, writhing beneath her, giving tiny gasps of
pleasure.
        Finally, she broke free of his nipples and continued kissing over
his body. She kissed up his neck, nibbling some as she went. She moved to
his ear and began to kiss there. "I love these piercings," she said and
sucked on them.
        That drove Joe wild as he began to thrust his hips under Nadia, his
lust overcoming his shame, his fear, his every thought and doubt. Nadia
pulled away and looked into his eyes.
        "I love your body," she whispered. She smiled, and tears welled up
in his eyes. "I love your lips," she bent down and kissed him. He kissed
her back, hard, and their lips danced around and over each other. "They are
yours," she said between kisses, "and they are beautiful, and I love them."
        "Thank you," whispered Joe back as he kissed her. "Thank you, thank
you, thank you." He kissed her and ran his hands over her back, holding her
in his embrace. "I don't deserve you."
        "You don't," she affirmed. "But you also don't deserve what
happened to you." She ran her hands down over his nipples. He
gasped. "Let's make it worth it."
        She broke the kiss and slid down his body. If he was still Joanna,
still her former lover, he would know to spread his legs immediately. He
would know what to do and would welcome her. Instead, he held his legs
tight together, looking uncomfortable and ashamed.
        "This is the most beautiful," said Nadia. "This is a precious
gift."
        "But my ... but it's ... it's gone."
        "You forget what you got in its place." Slowly but firmly, Nadia
put her hands on Joe's knees and spread his legs. "Let me remind you."
        Nadia lowered herself and began to lick Joe's pussy. Joe gasped,
but his body was too rigid, too tense. Nadia took her time, slowly licking
with long strokes over the outside of his lips. She gave the inside of his
thighs little kisses, tiny licks. She was as patient with Joe as Joanna was
with her the first few times.
        It occurred to her now that she was fucking a woman without the
influence of Penny. There was the one time with Joanna, but she panicked
afterwards. This was different. She wasn't forced to serve Joanna, and
neither was she tricked or seduced. She simply saw Joanna's body and the
muscle memory of wanting it, lusting over it, came back to her. She could
remember the sensation and tastes of her lover, and they were all
good. Penny could not make them good. The goodness belonged to Nadia, and
as long as it felt this way, she would follow it.
        "Oh fuck," Joe moaned as Nadia parted his lips and moved to his
clit. "Fuck, fuck."
        "See? You don't need to hate this body," teased Nadia. She gently
applied pressure with two fingers on his clit. "This body is a wonder,
filled with so many pleasures."
        "Fuck, fuck, fuck." Joe raised his hips, thrusting his pelvis into
Nadia's fingers, into her tongue as let it gently slide over his lips, over
and over.
        "You like what this body can do?"
        "Yesss. Oh fuck, yes."
        "You think this body is beautiful?"
        "Yes. Holy shit, yes."
        "You want to be Joanna now?"
        Joe fell silent but kept squirming, kept thrusting as she teased
his body. She pressed her lips against his clit and began to flick it with
her tongue. She knew she had pressed him with that question, perhaps gone
too far.
        "Call me Jo," she said finally. "Short for Joanna." Her voice
raised a bit, regaining some of the breathiness of Joanna. It was a small
step, but the right step to finding a silver lining in all this chaos.
        Nadia smiled. "Alright, Jo. Cum for me. Can you do that?" Nadia
lowered her head and slid her tongue deep into Jo's pussy. She put her
fingers onto Jo's clit and pressed down, making small circles while
wiggling her tongue inside as far as it could go.
        "Oh, fuck. Yes. Yes. I'll come for you. Yes."
        And she did. And afterwards, she needed reminding of how beautiful
her body was. She needed reminding three more times that night. Later,
Nadia would be grateful that they spent their first night from Penny
fucking. Any other way would have been too dark, too depressing. Their
world had fallen apart, could still fall apart more, but now there was only
a new chapter, new exploration, and new acceptance.
        In the end, their first and smallest revenge against Penny was
ruining her punishment of Joe. He made a beautiful woman, a happy woman,
and a wonderful lesbian.


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