Date: Sat, 15 Mar 2003 17:00:57 -0800 (PST) From: slpwriter Subject: Nick Lachey: My Everything-48 Hey all, I'm back and ready to write again. It's been such a long time, I've had to re-read the story to try to remember what my next plot was going to be. Now on with the story. First of all, let me just say that this is my first time writing any kind of fiction like this. DISCLAIMER: This is a work of total fiction and is not meant to imply anything about the sexualities of Nick and Drew Lachey or anyone else mentioned in this story. If you are too young to read this, or if Homosexuality offends you, then please don't continue any further and leave. Other 98 Degrees stories I'd like to recommend are. "Give Me Just One Night" by Unanoche. "69 with Jeff Timmons" by Zachary Scott Pritt "Nick Lachey" by Ken. "98 Degrees Is Hot" by Gay Night "The Reunion" by RinSong. "Loving Nick Lachey" by Jordan and finally: "This Gift" by Sprout Now, I"ll let you get on with the story. Enjoy. Previously on "My Everything"..... I cleared my throat and began to sing: "Lost and all alone." "I always thought that I could make it on my own." "But since you left, I hardly make it through the day." "My tears get in the way." "And I need you back to stay." "I wander through the night." "And Search the world to find the words to make it right." "All I want is just the way it used to be." "With you here close to me." "And I've got to make you see." "That I'm lost without your love." "Life without you isn't worth the trouble." "I'm as helpless as a ship without a wheel." "Touch without feel." "I can't believe it's real." "So someday soon, I'll wait." "And find my heart won't have....to break." "That I'm lost without your love." "Life without you isn't worth the trouble." "I'm as helpless as a ship without a wheel." "Touch without feel." "I can't believe it's real." "So someday soon I'll wait." "And find my heart won't have....to break." Once again, I received applause, but this time it seemed a bit more intense. It was almost like they all could feel the lonliness within me." "Thank you, everyone." I said, as I handed back the mic to the DJ. He then told me he loved my song. I thanked him then asked him if they had a private room or something backstage that I could have some privacy for a few minutes. The DJ, whose name was Kelly said that there was a dressing room backstage and he said that I could take all the time that I needed. I thanked him before walking backstage and entering the dressing room. I sat down on the couch and sighed heavily. I felt good. It felt wonderful to get all of that off of my chest. All the lonliness and sadness that I was feeling. And what better way then by singing. I stood up and walked over to the dresser and bent over it, closing my eyes for a second. I was so engrossed in my thoughts, that I didn't hear anyone come into the room from behind me. "You were incredible." I heard a familiar voice say. "Startled, I whipped around to see who it was and froze. I found myself staring back into his beautiful blue eyes. "Hello, Sean." Nick said. ********** CHAPTER 48 ********** All I could do was stand there and stare at Nick. Part of me was glad to see him again, yet another part of me was guarded around him. "Hello, Nicholas." I said. "This is a surprise to see you here." Nick shrugged. "I could say the same thing." He replied. "I never thought I'd see you again. Much less run into you here." I nodded. I wasn't sure if Nick's answer meant that he was glad to see me or if he was sorry he ran into me. We were both silent for a few moments, just looking at each other. This was a very awkward moment for us since we hadn't seen each other for 2 years. Neither of us really knew what to say to each other. "You're looking sexier than ever, Nick." I told him. "I like the new hairstyle you're doing now alot too." This time I got a smile out of him, as well as a soft laugh. "Thank you." Nick said. "You're looking even better yourself. Nick took another look at me. "I really like your new look with your longer hair." He told me. "Turn around and let me see how long it is." I slowly spun around and let him see just how long my hair was. "Wow." Nick said. "It's all the way to the middle of your back." "Yeah." I said, smiling a little. "I thought it was time for a change." Nick nodded. Then the look he gave me was really strange. "What is it, Nick?" I asked him. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Nick looked like he had something on his mind that he needed to tell me. "I was just wondering what you're doing here in Orlando, Florida." Nick said, then asked. "Are you here on business or something?" "No, Nick." I replied. "I live here in Orlando now. This has been my home for the last 2 years." We were both silent again, but this time it was Nick who broke the silence. "How have you been doing since.............." He trailed off, knowing where he was headed. "Since you and your friends threw me out of your lives?" I asked him, a hint of anger in my voice. "How do you think, Nick?" Nick's expression turned to concern. "Sean I didn't come back here to get into a fight with you." He told me. "I just wanted to say hello and ask you if you wanted to say hello to Danny, Kandi, and the rest of the guys?" "They're here?" I asked in shock. "Did they see me?" "Yes they did." Nick said. "They want to talk to you." Now I was really amazed. They still wanted to talk to me after all of this time? "Really? I asked him. "Ok, I guess I'll at least listen to what they have to say." "Alright then, come with me." Nick said. He put his arm around my shoulders as I walked by him towards the door. I flinched as his arm came in contact with me. Nick must have noticed, because his arm left my shoulder at that moment. We had stopped near the door. "I'm sorry, Sean." He said. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." "Don't worry about it, Nick." I said. "It's alright. I just wasn't expecting it. But you really shouldn't put your arm around me. After all you are married to Jessica now." Hearing me mention Jessica, Nick got quiet. Then I thought of his little girl. "Nick, how is your daughter?" I asked him. Hearing me mention his little girl, Nick's face lit up and his smile told me all I needed to know. "She is an angel, Sean." He said. "I can't put into words how much she means to me. I love her so much." "It shows." I said, smiling at how happy he obviously was. Yet a part of me was sad. I used to be the one who made him as happy as he was now. But now that was over. "I saw you and Jessica on Carson's show today." I told him. "I know your daughter's name is Nicole. But what is her full name?" "Nicole Jessica Lachey." Nick said. "Jess and I call her "Nikki." "Do you have any pictures of her?" I asked him. "Oh yeah." Nick said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out his wallet and opened it to the picture of Nicole. Then he handed me his wallet. I took it and the picture of a perfect angel filled my eyes. Nikki has blond hair and blue eyes. She looked alot like Jessica. Except that she had her father's eyes. "She's beautiful, Nick." I said. "Just like her mother....... Here, I looked up at Nick, who was looking back at me. "And her father." I finished. Our eyes locked on each other. But only for a few seconds. I realized what I was doing and shook myself. "Where is everyone else now?" I asked Nick. "They're out in the limo waiting for me." Nick said, quietly. "Then, you should go." I said, suddenly. Nick frowned. "Aren't you coming?" He asked me. "Not right now." I said. "I have to ask Jake and Michelle to take me home first to get my car." "Who are Jake and Michelle?" Nick asked me, curiously. "They're my new friends." I told him. "They've been there for me during some of the hardest times of my life." Nick nodded. "So, will you come to our hotel after you get your car?" I sighed. "I can't promise that, Nick, but I'll try." I told him. Nick shrugged, unsure how to feel about my answer. "Well, the ball is in your court, Sean." He said. "But just know that this is our last night here. Tommorrow we leave to go back to Los Angeles. We were only here a few days for a couple live concerts. So, you really should come and talk to us. You might not get this chance again." I felt like he was giving me an ultimatum, trying to pressure me into seeing them. But I was not about to be pressured into anything by him or by anyone else. Not ever again. "I'm sorry, Nick." I said to him, bitterly, my face void of any emotion. "I will not be pressured into anything. Not by you. Not by anyone." Nick's eyes shifted down to the floor, as he processed my bitter words. "Wow." He said, a catch in his voice. "You really have changed. "That's right, Nick, I have." I told him. "I'm no longer the man that you once knew and loved. He's gone, thanks to you and Drew, and all your friends." Nick's eyes closed for a moment. Then without a word, he turned and walked towards the door. Before he went through it, he stopped, his back to me. "The offer still stands, Sean." I heard him say. "We will wait for you at the Sheraton hotel. If you change your mind and want to talk, please stop by. I'll be in room 104." Nick started to walk away. Nick, wait." I said. Nick stopped and turned around to face me. "Despite everything, It was good to see you." I told him. "Give that precious angel of yours a big hug and kiss for me. and give my best to your wife." Nick smiled a little. "I'll do that." He replied. He stood there for a moment and looked at me. Like he was looking at me for the last time. I looked right back, taking in the beauty of his sexy blue eyes. "Bye." Nick said, then turned and left, leaving me alone in the dressing room. I turned around and sat down for a moment to think. I thought about how Nick looked when he left. There was a look in his eyes. Almost like he was pleading with me to come to the hotel so we could all talk. "But what does he want to talk about?" I asked outloud. I then decided that I wanted to go home. I walked back to the stage and back to my table where Jake and Michelle were waiting. "Where have you been?" Michelle asked, looking worried. "I was backstage." I told her. "I needed time alone for a bit." "Is everything all right?" Jake asked me. "You sure were back there for quite a while." "Actually, I'm getting tired." I said. "Could you please take me home now." "Of course." Jake said. "We're ready to go too." "All right then, let's go." I stated. We all paid for our drinks and left the club. We got into Jake's car and drove home. When we got back to the beach apartment, Jake parked and shut off the ignition. We all got out and started heading towards our homes. "Well guys, I had a great time tonight." I told them. "Thanks for taking me with you." "You're welcome." Jake said. "Well, Michelle and I are going to turn in. You take care, buddy, ok?" I will, Jake." I told him, shaking his hand. "You both do the same." "You bet we will." Michelle said, as she took Jake's hand in hers. "Goodnight, Sean." "Goodnight." I said back. I watched them leave and head into their apartment as I stood outside, listening to the sound of the water crashing onto the shore. I had to admit that it was very relaxing. As I stood there, I kept thinking about Nick. I couldn't get that look in his eyes out of my mind. It was like he had alot he needed to tell me but couldn't bring himself to at the club. At that moment, I knew that there were alot of things there were left unsaid. We had unfinished business to attend to. I grabbed my keys out of my pocket and walked to my car. I unlocked the door and climbed into the driver's seat. After putting on my seat belt, I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading on my way to the Sheraton hotel. After about 10 minutes, I pulled into the hotel parking lot and parked the car. I shut off the engine and got out of the car, locking the doors behind me. I walked into the hotel and headed towards the elevators. I hit the "UP" button and waited for the elevators to open. After about a minute, they opened and were empty. I walked inside and pressed the button for the first floor. The elevator began it ascent up to the first floor. The door opened and I walked out into the hallway and proceeded to walk down it until I found room 104. When I finally found it, I stopped in front of the door. I hesitated before knocking. I was still wondering if I'd be able to handle another confrontation again. Even after two years. But I knew that If I didn't do it now, I'd never get the chance again. I gathered all my courage I had left in me, knocked on the door and waited for a response. After about a few seconds, the door opened and I came face to face with Nick. "Hi." Nick said, looking relieved. "I had almost given up on you coming. Come on in." I entered and came face to face with five more sets of eyes. Jeff, Justin, Drew, Danny, and Kandi were standing at the far end of the room, looking back at me. I noticed that they all had mixed emotions playing on their face. Like they were wrestling with how they should feel about seeing me after all of this time. Nick shut the door and came back to stand beside me. "As I was telling you at the club earlier, the guys, including myself wanted to talk to you, but we couldn't get into it there." Nick explained. "That's why we asked you to come here instead." I just nodded. I was feeling really awkward and didn't know what to say or do. But I knew I had to say or do something. "Hello, everyone." I greeted the five of them, standing a few feet away. "Hello, Sean." Danny greeted me. But it didn't seem like a very warm greeting. He seemed upset with me. And he had every right to be I guess. Especially since I never contacted him when I'd left the Lachey house two years ago. "You sure have changed alot in 2 years." Danny continued. "Your hair is longer now and you've obviously changed alot as a person as well." "That's true, Danny, I have." I told him. "Alot has happened these past two years." I glanced over at Jeff, who was standing beside Danny and had his arm around him. "So, Jeff." I said. "Do I take it that your arm around Danny means that you two are still a couple?" Jeff nodded, smiling. "Yes, Danny and I have had a great relationship these past two years." He replied. "Not that it's always been perfect or anything. We've had problems along the way as well in our relationship, but we always worked them out. and look at us now. We're still together and now more in love than we've ever been." "Good." I said, smiling a little. "I'm glad." Then I turned to Justin and Kandi. "What's new with you two?" I asked them, curiously. "Alot." Justin said. "Kandi and I are engaged now. We're getting married this summer." normally, I would have been really excited and ecstatic about it and would have been bouncing off the walls with that news. Except that I was still reminded of the fact that they both had their part in the decision to disown me 2 years ago. "That's great." I said, sincerely, although not very enthusiasticly. "Congratulations." "That's it?" Nick asked me, shocked at the way I was reacting. "That's all you have to say is "Congratulations?" I turned back to Nick and gave him an annoyed look. Nick, what do you all expect? That I'm just going to make myself look like an ass by getting overly excited about it?" I asked him. "You certainly don't need any pointers on that." Drew said, sarcastically. "You're doing a good job of acting like one now." "Drew!" Nick said, horrified by his brother's words. I whipped around and glared at Drew, the anger inside of me starting to heat up. "Well, you certainly haven't changed these last two years!" I snarled. "You're still as heartless and as selfish as ever!" "Alright you two, shut the fuck up and listen to me!" Nick said, the authority in his voice saying no arguments. Everyone looked up at Nick in shock. Even I was shocked, almost scared at the seriousness in Nick's voice." "I'm not going to listen to you two insulting each other anymore!" Nick continued. "We all have issues that we need to resolve and we're not going to get anywhere if you two keep acting like a couple of immature children, shooting your mouths off like this! that is not why we asked Sean to come here!" I saw the disappointment in Nick's eyes, as he looked at Drew and I. "Then why am I here, Nick?" I asked him, angrily. "Would you please make that clear?!" Nick looked at the rest of the guys and they all nodded, except Drew, who was still angry with me, signalling Nick to go on. "We wanted to know if there's any chance that we could all be your friends again?" My thoughts were in a whirl. I couldn't believe what I was hearing: Nick and his friends all wanted me back with them again?! But was that what I wanted? It sounded too good to be true. If Nick had asked me that about a year ago, I probably would have said yes without a second thought. But considering what I went through, the emotional scars were still fresh. "I'm sorry, guys." I said. "I don't think that's even remotely possible." "How is it I'm not surprised that you'd say that?" Drew said, bitterly That was it for me. I whipped around towards Drew and lost it. "DAMN IT, DREW, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" I screamed at him. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE ARE TREATING ME THIS WAY! YOU'RE THE REASON NICK AND I BROKE UP IN THE FIRST PLACE!! YOU'RE THE REASON I LOST EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WHO MATTERED MOST TO ME IN THIS WORLD!" Everyone cringed at my outburst. They looked almost afraid of me at that moment. "Well considering how I'd lost you to Nick in the past, I guess I can understand what you went through after we did what we did two years ago." Drew said, angrily. His statement just made me angrier and I really let him have it this time. "DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE YOUR SITUATION TO MINE, DREW!" I shouted. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH! YOUR PAIN WAS NOT THE SAME AS MINE!" "All right, Sean, all right." Nick said. "Please calm down. You're right. We have no idea what you went through. Would it help to talk about it?" I took a few deep breaths and turned around to face Nick. I could have hugged him right then and there for trying to keep the peace between all of us, but I couldn't. I looked down and noticed my wedding band was still on my finger. I then raised my hand up to Nick. "Remember this, Nick?" I asked, holding my hand up to his face, showing me the ring. Nick gasped when he saw it. "You're still wearing that?! He asked in amazement. "Wearing what?" I heard Drew say. I turned around and showed Drew my hand. He too looked shocked as well. "Why are you still wearing that ring, Sean?" He asked me. "What you and Nick had is over." I could have slapped him for his insensitivity, but I was tired of fighting. "To be honest, I don't even know myself." I said, bringing my other hand up to grasp the ring. "For some reason, I haven't been able to bring myself to take it off." I then walked over to Nick and stood beside him. I turned to face the rest of the guys. "When Nick broke up with me and you all decided that you didn't want me in your lives anymore, I was devastated." I told them all. "A few days after I left, I had to decide where I wanted to live. I knew I couldn't stay in Los Angeles or go back to New York. There were too many bad memories in both places. Too much pain." I hesitated, before continuing, trying to keep it together. Having to tell them all what I went through was so much harder than when I was raped. I then continued with my story. "After I left, my anger took over and I decided that I didn't want to stay in touch with Danny or anyone who had caused me such unbearable pain. So, I then decided to live here in Orlando, Florida and I changed my cellphone number. I also made sure my phone number was unlisted both in the telephone book and the Directory Assistance site. I didn't want any of you to find me. I got myself an apartment on the beach out here as well as a job and set about trying to put my life back together. I couldn't deal with anything or anyone and when I thought things couldn't get any worse for me, They did." Here, I stopped, the tears starting to overwhelm me. I noticed everyone, even Drew, seemed to really feel bad now about how they treated me then. And they should feel bad. "How did they get worse, Sean?" Drew said, this time sounding sincerely genuine. "What happened?" I closed my eyes, as two tears made their way down my face. here was the hard part. "I tried to take my own life." I got out. I heard Nick gasp, and then the rest of the guys gasp. "Oh Sean." Jeff said. "Please tell me you didn't?" I sat down on the bed and started sobbing my heart out. I felt someone sit down next to me and put his arm around me. I looked up through my tears to see Nick looking at me. He had tears in his eyes too. "What could have posessed you to want to take your own life?" Nick asked me, softly. "I was at the end of my rope, Nick." I sobbed. "I had lost my husband who I once loved. I lost my best friends who I cared about more than anything. After that, I was completely alone. I couldn't handle it anymore and then I decided that I wanted to stop the pain for good. That's when I drove into town and found this cliff which overlooked the highway down below. I stood up there, looking down at all of the cars driving across the highway down there and after awhile I couldn't take the pain anymore and decided that I was going to end it. That's when I met Jake." "Who's Jake?" Justin asked. "He's my new best friend." I told Justin. "When I finally decided that I was going to end it, I started to let myself fall off of the cliff and as I did, I felt someone grab me and pull me away from it. Jake was there and asked me what the hell I was thinking. So, without going into details or giving out names, I told him about you guys and the way you disowned me. Needless to say he was furious about it. He offered to take me back to his place where he lives with his girlfriend. You can imagine my shock when it turned out that he was actually one of my neighbors. He lives in the same complex as mine is. I met Michelle who was very sweet and the three of us talked for hours and they decided to get me some professional help." Drew then came over and sat down beside me. I could tell he was very torn up over what his behavior as well as everyone else's could have cost me. "I take it that's what you did?" He asked me, as he wiped at his eyes. I nodded. "Yes. I decided that I had to get my life back and to deal with my pain once and for all. It took me a little over a year to recover. And Jake and Michelle were there for me during some of the most painful times of my life. They helped me get back on my feet again. And once I was better, I knew then and there that I did not need a man to make me happy and I was able to learn to live on my own again. I had Jake and Michelle in my life and that was all I needed. They had become my friends for life. And that as we all say is history." I sighed and stood up. "Now do you all understand why I can't take you up on your offer to be friends again?" I asked everyone around me. "There's too much history between us all. There's too much pain." All of them looked at each other, sadly, knowing that they had caused all of this and they understood my decision. Well almost all of them. Danny didn't agree. "Sean, have you forgotten that I was your friend too?" He asked me, hurt evident in his voice. "And despite everything that's happened, I still am your friend. Are you telling me that you don't want anything to do with me anymore either?" I couldn't look him in the eye, which told him everything he needed to know. "If that's what you want, you have to look me in the eye and tell me to my face." I heard him say. I managed to look up at him and I instantly regretted it because the look on his face was too much for me to bear. "I'm sorry, Danny." I said, softly. "But you hurt me just as much as everyone else. So it's going to be a very long time before I am ever able to think of you as my best friend. IF I'm ever able to think of you as my best friend ever again." Danny nodded and hung his head. he turned towards Jeff, who pulled Danny into his arms and held him as he cried, while looking at me, sadly. Jeff knew how I felt. But that didn't mean he had to like it either. "I'm truly sorry that it has to be this way, guys. I really am." I said. "As much as I would like nothing more than to accept your offer, I can't help but wonder if you guys will hurt me like that ever again. I've forgiven all of you for alot of things, but this time, it was the last straw. I can't allow for you guys to destroy me like that again. I couldn't handle it if it were to happen again." "You'll never know until you at least give us a chance to make this up to you." Nick said. "Who knows, maybe you'll be even happier this time with us." I looked over at Nick. He had tears running down his face. without realizing it, I reached over and wiped the tears off of his face. I heard Nick gasp at my touch and I realized what I was doing. "Oh god, what am I doing?" I said, getting up and back away. "I'm sorry, Nick. I can't be friends with you all anymore, I have to leave." "And he said I was heartless." Drew said. "But now he takes the cake!" Drew's last statement stung. I turned towards him and looked at him in horror. Drew was lashing out at me. I knew right then and there that he no longer loved me anymore. "Drew, shut up!" Nick said to him, harshly. I surprised myself with what I did next. As I looked at Drew, my look of horror turned to anger and I took a swing at Drew and punched him across the face. "YOU BASTARD!" I screamed at him, as he staggered back and fell. "YOU HAVE A HELL OF ALOT OF NERVE SAYING THAT TO ME AFTER WHAT I'VE PUT UP WITH FROM YOU LATELY!" Drew got up and lunged at me, intent on finishing what I'd started, but Nick acted quick and stepped in between us just as Drew swung at me. Nick caught his arm, blocking his hit. "DREW, YOU STOP THIS FUCKING NONSENSE RIGHT NOW!" Nick screamed at Drew. "IF YOU ASK ME, YOU DESERVED WHAT YOU GOT!" Drew looked at his brother in complete shock. he couldn't believe that Nick was sticking up for me. Frankly neither could I. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Drew shouted at Nick. "YOU'RE ACTUALLY TAKING HIS SIDE!" "YES, DREW, I AM!" Nick shouted back. "WHY?!" Drew protested. "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!!!! Danny, Kandi, Jeff, and Justin inhaled sharply, as if that was a painful blow. Nick's eyes widened when he realized what he'd said. He then turned towards me to see my reaction. That when he saw the door to his room, slamming shut. Sean?! Sean, come back!" Nick called out, running after me. TBC............? That's all for this installment. What will happen next? What caused Sean to run away when Nick blurted out to Drew that he still loves Sean? Was it just an accidental slip or is it how he really feels? If that's so, will there be a reconciliation between Nick and Sean? Is Drew really being an ass to Sean because he means it? or is there something more behind it? Don't miss what happens next. Because it's Everything! Stay tuned. slpwriter