Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 18:58:55 -0800
From: whippedcream@audiohighway.net
Subject: Pas de Deux

Disclaimer: This is fiction. I do not know the Backstreet Boys. They do not
know me. I do not know anything about their sex lives, but talking during
sex is a no-no for Brian.  Just a short little piece that's been
percolating for a while. Hope you like.

Feedback: whippedcream@audiohighway.net

JJ


Pas de Deux

I spent the morning cleaning puke out of my car. Yeah, I know you really
wanted to know that. You're probably wondering why I didn't just take it to
get cleaned; well, I did, later. Let me tell you, getting last night's
dinner out of leather is not one of my many talents. But I had some strange
urge this morning to clean the mess myself, if only so he could see that I
really do care. Not that it mattered, he was still passed out in the guest
bedroom.

Note to self: If you want to get laid, getting your friend drunk is not the
wisest way to go about it.

****

"I thought we were going to go out tonight," AJ complained from his
position somewhere on the floor. Brian turned his head sideways to look his
friend in the face.

"No one decided," he replied. Nick tore his eyes away from the TV to look
at his friends.

"I suggested a club," he reminded them.

"Yeah, Nick, thanks, that narrows it down," Kevin said dryly, still
flipping through the morning paper half-heartedly.  Nick shrugged.

"I came up with the idea, you guys do something with it." Brian and Kevin
exchanged glances and rolled their eyes.

"Hey," AJ said, suddenly, sitting up. "Duh. What about Tabu?"

"Howie's club?"

"Yeah." The four of them looked at each other.

"Why not?"

"Howie'll be upset, though, he's been dying to take us there himself."

"Yeah, well, that's what he gets for going out of town. So let's go."

"Good. I need to get smashed tonight."

"Yeah? I need to get laid."

****

When I woke up the first time this morning, three things were clear. First,
I had a hangover that would bring an elephant to its knees. Second, I was
wearing only my boxers, and third, there was no way I was going to be able
to face him today, not after last night. So I went back to sleep.

When I woke up the second time, sometime in the afternoon, I could tell he
had been in my room. I could still taste his lingering scent in the air,
that indefinable yet cleanly appealing flavor that sent chills down my
spine. I wondered if he had paused by the bedside and watched me
sleep. Yeah, right. Highly unlikely.

****

"God, this place is packed!" Brian shouted over the noise.  He was never a
big fan of clubs, but his friends were glancing around with excitement in
their eyes, and so, for their sake, he'd suck it up and pretend like he
wanted to be here too.

"I can't believe we've never been here before," Kevin said, frowning.

"Whatever," Nick replied, as he wove through the throng of people and made
his way to the bar. The three of them followed closely behind.  They
ordered drinks and as each held a glass in his hands, Brian proposed a
toast.

"To us," he declared, grinning.

"Yeah," AJ seconded. He threw an arm over Brian's shoulders and
grinned. "I'm glad you came out with us, Rok." Brian grinned back before
tipping his glass and taking a gulp.

"I'm going to hit the dance floor," Kevin said.

"Me too," AJ replied, watching as Kevin stood up. He kept his eyes on the
older man as he finished off his drink, then got up as well.

"I'm just going sit here for a while," Nick said. Brian nodded in
agreement.

"I'll keep you company."

****

He was still asleep when I last checked, and damn if he didn't look
absolutely adorable lying there with the covers pulled up to his
chin. Childlike. It took every ounce of willpower in me not to crawl in
there with him and wrap myself around his sleeping form.  But I didn't; no
need to freak him out even more. Especially once he discovered that it was
I who undressed him. Instead, I left the towels on the nightstand and
tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind me quietly.

****

"Oh, come on, Frick, one more!" Nick pleaded, his voice slightly slurring
as he gave Brian his winningest smile.

"Dude," Brian said seriously, and not at all slurring, "one of us has to be
sober enough to drive home."

"Hello," Nick replied as though pointing out a fundamental truth, "there
are such things as cabs." Brian merely smiled indulgently.

"What's up?" AJ dropped onto the stool next to Nick, and wrapped his arm
around his neck, leaning his head against his back.

"Get off me, Bone," Nick said, but didn't move away.

"Sure. Get me another drink." As Nick turned toward the bar, Brian lunged
off his stool and barely managed to prevent AJ from tackling the floor.

"Oops," AJ mumbled as Brian struggled to right him. "Thanks." Brian smiled
lightly.

"No problem." The bartender placed another drink in front of them, and
Brian pushed it closer, gently wrapping AJ's hand around it.

"Thanks again," AJ said, looking up with a grin. A somewhat goofy, if
endearing grin, Brian noted, matching it with one of his own.

"I hope you aren't drinking without me." The smile on AJ's face slipped
slightly as he felt Kevin's breath in his ear.

"Naw, man," he replied, turning to look at him. "Here ya go." He held out
his glass to Kevin, who accepted it and sat next to AJ. Brian stepped back
and moved back around to Nick's other side.

"Hey, Kev," Nick asked, leaning over AJ, "where's the cute redhead?" Kevin
shrugged.

"She's not my type," he replied, taking a sip of his drink and not saying
any more.

****

Around four or so, I finally admitted to myself that I really couldn't stay
in bed any longer. Even if he was thinking I needed to sleep it off, he was
bound to come check on me, if only to make sure I was still breathing. No,
I was better off just facing him, and apologizing for my appalling behavior
of the night before.

He'd forgive me, right? We are friends, after all.

****

For someone who claimed to not like dancing, AJ thought idly, Brian moved
pretty well. He wasn't sure how Nick had conned him onto the dance floor,
but he was there, a grin lighting up his flushed face. The girl he was
dancing with looked a little too star-struck, but for the most part, she
kept up really well.

AJ turned his attention back to his dance partner, a beautiful blonde that
he'd lost interest in two songs ago. He smiled at her as she pressed closer
to him, and as the song ended, leaned close to her ear.

"Hey, baby, I need to chat with my friends. It was nice dancing with you."
She couldn't help the flitter of disappointment that crossed her face, but
she smiled back and nodded as he stepped away. He wove through the crowd
and made his way to the edge of the dance floor, dropping into a chair at a
nearby table.  "Hey, tired already?" AJ looked up to see Kevin smiling at
him, and motioned to the chair next to him.

"Naw, just wondering how long until Nick falls over," he replied,
laughing. Kevin turned to look, joining in the laughter as well.

"We cut him off a while ago, it should be wearing off," Kevin noted. AJ
nodded.

"Well, I haven't had enough to drink," he stated. He waved over a cocktail
waitress and looked at Kevin, who shrugged.

"Shots."

****

After checking the clock for about the millionth time that day, I started
to worry. It was getting late, and he hadn't emerged from the room yet. All
sorts of scenarios were running through my head: maybe he'd had way too
much to drink, maybe I should have taken him to the hospital, maybe he was
ashamed and upset at me, maybe... I finally stood up and headed toward the
guest bedroom, telling myself that I was just checking on his health.

I stood there, my hand on the doorknob, drawing up the courage to open the
door when my brain finally registered the knob moving in my fingers. And
before I could do a thing about it, the door flung open and there he stood,
his dark eyes wide as he stared into mine.

****

He was completely trashed.  He had the vague feeling that he was going to
regret this the next morning, but right now, he was definitely feeling
good. He must not have looked so hot, though, because the next thing he
knew, he was being hauled off to some dark corner somewhere.

"AJ? Are you doing okay?" A pair of blue eyes were peering at him in
serious concern.

"Mmm, yeah? Fine." He lay back against the couch, feeling the cool leather
against his bare arms. Raising his head slightly, he grinned at his friend.

"Are you sure? Do you need anything?" Yeah, you, he wanted to say, then
frowned. That wasn't right. He sat up a little, trying to bring more of the
room into focus.

"Wait," he muttered, staring at the wispy strands of blond that veiled
crystal blue eyes. Clear blue eyes. They were supposed to be cloudy. Deep.
Not the bright, verging-on-aqua blue confronting him now.

"What?"

"Nick?"

"Yeah?" This was all wrong.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Kevin is on the dance floor, and Brian..."

"Is right here." AJ's head shot up, sending the room into a tailspin.

"Oooh," he moaned. He vaguely heard conversation flowing around him as he
dropped his head into his arms and willed his surroundings to stop
spinning.

"Here," he heard someone say softly as a glass of water was placed in his
hands. With trembling fingers, he clutched the glass and took a small sip,
then dared look up. Only one person stood there now, and his eyes held the
gray-blue warmth he craved.

"Thanks."

"Maybe I should take you home," Brian murmured.  AJ felt gentle hands
smooth his hair and lightly skim the nape of his neck before wrapping
around his shoulder. He closed his eyes and leaned into the embrace,
grateful for the calm amidst the whirling dervish.

"Mine or yours," Brian heard him say, and turned to look sharply at his
friend. But AJ looked half-asleep, his head lightly resting against his
collarbone.

"AJ," he whispered softly, and he felt his friend shift slightly.

"Mmm?"

"Let's go, I'll take you home." But AJ only shook his head slightly,
satisfied where he was, warm and safe. He lifted his head slightly, to find
Brian's face only inches from his, the fine lines of worry evident around
his mouth and eyes.  Smiling sleepily, he reached up to run a finger
lightly along the outside corner of Brian's mouth, trying to smooth out the
wrinkles. He frowned at Brian's sudden sharp intake of breath and pulled
away slightly, his dark eyes searching blue.

"Sorry," he muttered, a sudden slice of clarity breaking through the cloud
of drunken confusion. What was he doing? He pulled away further, trying to
disengage himself from Brian's embrace. But Brian only tightened his grasp.

"I really should take you home," Brian said, and it struck AJ that he'd
said that two, maybe three, times already.

"Home," he repeated. "Okay." But neither of them moved and AJ was suddenly
way too aware of the weight of Brian's arm across his shoulders, his hand
resting carelessly on his upper arm. He was aware too of his own hand still
hovering so close to Brian's jaw.

AJ was drunk, probably on the verge of being ill. Brian knew that. So why
he was sitting here staring at his face, he had no idea. Maybe it was the
tiny drop of water that clung to his lower lip, just waiting for the flick
of a tongue. A diminutive crystalline sphere that beckoned to him, inviting
him to sample it. He watched it tremble slightly, and without thinking, he
closed his eyes and bent his head to taste the droplet.

And stopped as his lips came into contact with AJ's, soft and warm and
scared and tender and hesitant and wanting all at once.  He felt AJ's hand
flutter slightly along his jaw, before resting against his face, the smooth
palm a contrast to what he knew his own calloused hands felt like.  But he
didn't have time to think about that as he felt AJ press closer to him,
igniting a sudden spark of desire within him that traveled along his nerve
endings and made his entire body tingle.

He deepened the kiss, felt AJ tremble slightly, and probed lightly, seeking
deeper access into his mouth. And after a moment's hesitation, it was
granted, and the whole world around him fell away as he drank in the
intoxicating sweetness of AJ's mouth and the dozen or so cocktails he'd had
that night. Rum and AJ's mouth, Brian thought vaguely, he could bottle it
and sell it as the elixir of life.

AJ whimpered slightly as Brian pulled him tighter into his embrace, and the
swirling emotions in his head and Brian's soft lips on his only heightened
the inebriation caused by the mixed drinks in his bloodstream. And then the
sensation was too much for him to handle, and over stimulated, he broke
away and stared at Brian's horrified expression.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry!" Brian exclaimed, his cheeks burning. AJ shook his
head.

"No, it's not that, I'm gonna be sick," AJ mumbled, and Brian watched in
bemused despair as his would-be lover leaned over the arm of the chair and
emptied his stomach on the floor.

****

Oh holy shit, I just about had a heart attack, pulling open that door to
see him standing there.  And no doubt, his expression matched the one on my
face as neither of us did a thing for a few moments. He finally broke the
trance by smiling ruefully and asking me how I was doing.

"I've been better," I confessed, and his smile grew, tugging playfully at
the corners of his mouth.

****

"Are you okay with this?" Kevin asked his cousin in concern. Brian nodded.

"Yeah, it's cool, he can sleep it off here, I'll keep an eye on him," he
replied, emerging from the bathroom with a damp washcloth.  He set it down
on the nightstand and pulled the covers back, letting Nick and Kevin
carefully lay a semi-conscious AJ in the bed, before leaning over to pull
off his shoes and socks.  Picking up the washcloth again, he gently wiped
AJ's face, drawing a mumbled, and incoherent, response.

"We're gonna head home," Kevin said quietly, heading toward the door, with
Nick close behind.

"Call if you need anything," Nick added. Brian nodded and the two of them
walked out.

"You're going to hate yourself in the morning," Brian said ruefully, his
hand resting on AJ's cheek. His skin was warm to the touch, and idly, Brian
ran a thumb over his eyebrow, before brushing the hair out of his face. AJ
sighed in his sleep and fidgeted restlessly, causing Brian to suddenly
realize he was fully dressed. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he
should leave his friend like that, then decided, in the name of comfort, of
course, that it would be better to undress him.

Carefully, he undid the buttons on AJ's shirt, unable to prevent his hands
from brushing over the bare skin underneath. He shook his head, trying to
clear his mind of thoughts he didn't want to address, and instead focused
on the difficult task of pulling AJ's arms through the sleeves. Somehow, he
managed to remove the shirt without disturbing him too much, but, Brian
figured, the state he was in, he could have painted his name across his
chest and AJ would have slept on, oblivious.

He took a deep breath and moved his hands carefully to the button fly of
his jeans. Something in his mind was telling him this wasn't a good idea,
especially if AJ chose to wake up then, but he had to finish the job.

"Don't wake up now," Brian muttered as his trembling hands worked each
button, concentrating on not letting them stray.  As if he heard, AJ
mumbled again in his sleep, but didn't awaken, as Brian reached the last
button and let out a sigh of relief.  Mentally thanking him for his
preference for loose-fitting jeans, Brian deftly maneuvered them over his
hips and down his legs, his breath catching slightly when AJ's eyelids
fluttered suddenly. But they stilled again as Brian pulled off his jeans
finally. He folded them, laying them on top of the shirt, then turned to
pull the covers up.

His hands paused as his gaze lingered on the smooth expanse of skin, pulled
taut over the delicate muscles underneath and without thinking, one hand
let go of the sheets to touch him. With a careful finger, Brian lightly
traced the tattoo around his navel, watching AJ's abdomen ripple slightly.

"Brian?" he heard a sleepy voice ask and he yanked his hand back swiftly,
his head rising sharply. AJ looked at him in glazed confusion and Brian
smiled shakily.

"Go to sleep," he said, fighting to keep his voice calm.

"Mmm, okay," AJ replied, his eyes fluttering closed again. Pressing his
lips together, Brian pulled up the sheets and tucked them around his chin,
then rose. He glanced down one last time, and one last time, reached down
to caress his cheek gently. AJ turned his head slightly, his lips pressing
softly into Brian's palm.

"G'night," he mumbled. Brian hesitated, then slowly removed his hand and
walked toward the door, flipping off the light on his way out.

****

"You've looked better too," I teased, but I really didn't mean it. Nothing
in my life has ever looked as good as he did at that moment. His dark hair
stuck out in places and his eyes were rimmed in red, but there was a raw
sincerity in them that took my breath away. I wanted to gather him in my
arms and stroke his hair and whisper in his ear and kiss away the headache
I could see raging behind his eyes. I wanted to soften that sad smile and
tell him it would be okay and hold him like I would never let go. But
mostly, I wanted him to ask all these things of me and know that I would
give them gladly and more.

So much for just wanting to get laid.