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Finding love after
incredible loss
Main Characters |
|
Name |
Description |
Aaron Jonathan "AJ" O'Brien |
6' 1" tall, light brown hair, cerulean blue
eyes, 42" chest, 30" waist, 8-pack abs, 5% body fat & 12-inch cock.
Pretty much everyone's wet dream – guy or girl. He doesn't even know how good
looking he really is |
Sydney Marie O'Reilly O'Brien |
5'10" tall, dark blonde hair, deep green
eyes, stunningly beautiful, D cup and a perfect counterpart for AJ. Recently
deceased. |
Conor Jameson O'Brien |
AJ & Syd's oldest son |
Caleb Jeffery O'Brien |
AJ & Syd's youngest son – by 4
minutes |
Eva Marie O'Reilly Reagan |
5'10" tall, light blonde hair, blue eyes,
stunningly beautiful, D Cup |
Matilda `Mat' Sullivan |
5'8" tall, auburn hair, brown eyes,
beautiful, B Cup and spunky as hell |
Scott Jonathan Reed |
6'1" tall, black hair, cerulean blue eyes,
40" chest, 31" waist, 6-pak abs, 7% body fat & 8-inch cock. Another wet
dream for both guys and girls. He doesn't know how good looking he is. |
Chase Andrew Brown |
6'2" tall, medium brown hair, blue eyes, 38"
chest, 28" waist, defined abs and an all-American good-looking guy |
Brett Michael Young |
6'0" tall, sandy blond hair, brown eyes, 38"
chest, 28" waist defined body with chiseled good looks |
Brent Alan Everman |
5'10" tall, light blond hair, green eyes,
38" chest, 30" waist, fit body with boyish good looks |
Steven Andrew McDavid |
5' 11" tall, black hair, green eyes, 40"
chest, 30" waist, fit with rugged good looks |
Chapter one -
It is 2:00 AM on Saturday, 30 April
2005 and I'm wrapping up the early morning feeding of our 4-month-old identical
twin boys Conor and Caleb. Conor has crashed out and Caleb is nearly there
when there is a knock on the front door. I'm thinking my wife of a year
forgot her key when she headed out with her girlfriends for a drink to
celebrate having finished all their finals for our Junior year at Washington State
University. Then the knock gets louder and more urgent and as I approach
the front door, I notice a police officer standing there about to knock again
as I pull the door open.
At that moment my whole world came
crashing down, I see the flashing lights from his car and a group of fraternity
brothers from across the street gathered. Officer Reed begins to speak and
I don't react, speak or in any way respond to what he is
saying. Evidently, I must have squeezed Caleb to tight as he squawks and I
come back to the here and now.
Officer Reed begins again - "your
wife and her friends were hit by a car traveling at a high rate of speed that
blew through a stop sign. they have all been taken to the local trauma center
across the state line in Idaho. it does not look like your wife will make it
through the night due to head trauma and major internal damage, her friends are
in bad shape but will make it. the impact to the car was directly into the
driver's door where your wife was sitting. do you have anyone that can stay
with your son so that I can get you to the hospital to say goodbye?"
I begin to collapse and Officer
Reed catches me before I fall to the floor. Two of my fraternity brothers have
pushed their way past the other officer and are at my side, Brett takes Caleb
and Chase helps me to a chair. They tell me they will take care of the boys
and that I need to head out to the hospital. I stand and head to the door
and Chase grabs my arm as I'm standing there in a very worn pair of sweatpants
that have been cutoff to shorts and are hanging low on my hips, showing the
upper part of my ass and cock. He guides me to my room and I finally snap
out of it enough to rapidly strip and pull on a pair of jeans, t-shirt and flip
flops.
Officer Reed puts me in the front
seat of his car and off we go to the hospital. I make my way to my wife's
room - she is almost completely unrecognizable. The only way I can tell it
is her is from the wedding ring on her left hand. I take her hand in mine
lean in and kiss her cheek - I whisper to her that I love her and I need
her to watch over me and the boys as our guardian angel - with that her monitor
flatlines and she is gone from this world. The doctor and nurse come into the
room, shut down the machines and express their condolences. I remove Sidney's
ring and place it on my pinky next to my wedding band.
I ask for a phone - I need to call
her parents, my parents and back to the house to let Brett and Chase know I
will be home within the hour. I place the call to her parents; in the middle
of the first ring her mom comes on the line, she knows something is wrong, she
feels it. I explain what happened and let her know Sidney hung on until I
was able to tell her goodbye. We talk through their plans to be in
Pullman, Sunday mid-day to help me with the arrangements. I phone my mom and dad
and let them know what has happened and my mom tells me they will be there by
noon today. Chase and Brett let me know the boys are still out and they will
take care of them.
I exit the room numb, know I need
to get back to my kids - I realize I did not drive and now I must find a cab
back the 10 miles to my house. I sink to the floor and begin to cry uncontrollably.
A strong set of arms pull me to my feet and guide me outside and into a car. Officer
Reed slips into the driver's seat reaches across and wipes my tears away. He
hands me his card with his name and number on it and lets me know that he is
there if I need someone to lean on. He starts the car and we head from
Moscow to Pullman.
It is nearly 6:00 AM now as we near
our house, the streets are packed with fraternity and sorority members holding
candles. I recognize many of the people there as we are a tight knit
community. I ask Officer Reed to stop and I get out. As I start walking through
the crowd to our house the crowd makes room for me to get through. There are
tears, condolences and support from everyone there. As I continue to walk,
I'm surrounded by Sydney's sorority sisters and my fraternity brothers. It's
clear that everyone knows what has happened and are there to help support me
and the boys through this nightmare. I make it the three blocks to our
house at 7:00 AM and am completely drained. There are notes, flowers,
stuffed animals and other gifts on the front porch. I say my last 'thank
you' and go in the house.
Brett and Chase offer to stay, but
I tell them I need to be alone. I head into the boys' rooms, lean against
the wall and slide down as I begin to softly cry as all the pent-up emotions
flow out of my body. I don't know how long I was sitting there, but I hear
Conor start to stir - I rise and pick him up, change him and get his bottle. Before
I finish Conor's feeding, Caleb starts to cry and I realize I'm all alone and
will have to figure this out...
It's now mid-June and I'm thinking
about how the last month plus has shaped my future. Sydney's funeral was an
emotional roller coaster. I was standing in the vestibule of the funeral
home obscured by some flowers and overhear her high school boyfriend and his
new girlfriend spewing crap - "i can't believe she let herself get pregnant
at 20 and the why the hell was she drinking and driving and blah, blah, blah. "
I was not sure I was going to be able to speak given how wrecked I was, but
after over hearing that crap I knew I would and set the record straight - I
made it clear that even with an unplanned pregnancy, we were in love and
expected to spend the rest of our lives together, the tragedy that took her
life was the result of an impaired undercover DEA agent that was on assignment
trying to interrupt a drug smuggling ring and that Sydney was celebrating the
end of her Junior year by being the designated driver for her friends as she
was still breast feeding.
There is a knock on the door, I answer it, I look into the eyes of the man standing
at my door and am struck just as I was with Sydney when we first locked eyes.
His mouth is moving and I'm not hearing anything he is saying. My brain
has obviously shut down and the only thing I am processing is 'why am I getting
hard just staring at this man's eyes, I like women, I've never had any feelings
toward a man before, WHAT THE HELL'. The man says my name loudly this time
- "'AARON' are you alright?"
I snap out of it enough to acknowledge I'm ok and then I get the feeling this man
is checking out my package - it is nothing to obvious, but suffice it to say,
when I get an erection, it is hard to hide. I ask the man what he needs from me
and he starts over - "Aaron, I don't know if you remember me, but my name
is Scott, Officer Scott Reed. I was the officer that was there the night your
wife passed. I had a few days off and I wanted to check in on you, Conor
and Caleb." Again, I'm just standing there staring at the man's lips as he
is talking, wondering how they would feel to kiss. WTF - I have only been this
tongue tied one other time and that was when I met Sydney.
"Shit, what is wrong with you". Scott looks at me with a very hurt
expression on his face and turns to leave. I snap out of it enough to say
- "Scott, it's nice to meet you and I'm sorry I did not recognize you when
you first came to the door." He turns around as has a VERY confused
look on his face. He opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out and
then he starts again -
Scott comes in and sees the boys
"playing" on their activity mats and asks if he can pick them up. I
tell him to have at it and asked again if he wanted something to drink - he
asks for a beer. I look in the fridge and realize I have water or formula,
so I ask him which he would prefer as I set a glass of water down on the end
table. He says he would prefer a glass of formula and cocks a half assed grin
at me. Again - I'm tongue tied and just stare.
I hear Scott ask Caleb - "is
your daddy always this tongue tied, cause I find it adorable". At that I
blush and look at the floor. I have no idea what is going on - I'm feeling
giddy over this man, feeling like a traitor to Sydney and just downright
confused. "Snap out of it".
Shit I did it again - Scott is looking at me again with that lopsided grin of his,
he winks at me, puts Caleb down, stands up and walks toward me. He grabs
me in a bear hug and sighs heavily and squeezes hard. Shit I'm getting hard
again, wow is that his hard cock pressing into my lower abs? What the hell
is going on, must get away. I pull back and tell Scott it is time for the
boys' nap and he should go.
I walk to the door and open it for
him. He has not moved. I ask him to leave and he starts moving to the door
and shuffles past me, out the door and down the steps. I close the door
and breath for the first time in what feels like hours. What the hell just
happened, we are both guys and I like women - at least I thought I did, what is
going on with me.
Just then the phone rings and it is Syd's Aunt Eva – we talk for an hour, in which
she is peppering me with questions about me taking care of myself as well as my
boys. She knows I have been so focused on settling the estate, insurance claims,
lawsuit and the boys that she is concerned about me. As she puts it – I need
you to be the `hottie, little nephew so she and her friends have some eye candy
for Christmas', I turn beet red with no one around. From the moment I met her,
she has known how to make me blush and become self-conscious. My face is coming
back to color and she drops another one – `have you gotten any or are you still
just beating your meat?'
I about choke on the water I was
just drinking. `Inappropriate much Eva?'
You should know that `Aunt Eva'
is only 32 and smoking hot. 5' 10", blonde hair, blue eyes, bit boobs and all around
a fine-looking lady. She knows it and is not afraid to use it and is VERY adept
at making others uncomfortable. The only person I remember giving her a run for
her money was Syd and she's gone now.
Eva complains to me, damn – I need
my AJ back, someone to spar with, someone who knows he's drop dead gorgeous and
can have and has had anyone he wants. You were Syd's perfect match – hot, hung,
witty, smart and took no shit from anyone including me. What can I do to get my
AJ back?
My only response is – I don't know.
`Your AJ' is pretty much a zombie and I can't get out of this funk and the only
thing keeping me going right now are my boys.
Eva in exasperations shouts – you
need to get on or under someone NOW. If not that – you need to get to the gym
and get some blood flowing otherwise you are going to be old before your time
and never get laid again.
As I hang up the phone – I tell
her I will try and claw my way out of this funk.
It's the 1st of September, Conor
and Caleb are 8 months old and started walking last week. I thought it would be
SOOOO much easier when they were walking so, I would not have to carry them
everywhere - boy was I wrong. Now they are everywhere and there are two of them
heading in different directions. My mom told me it was payback as I was walking
at their age and into everything.
I've been working out most every
day since my strange ass encounter with Scott and the kick in the ass from Eva.
It really has helped my mood and boosted my confidence. I have gotten my
routine down including daycare and a very cute baby sitter named Joan. I've
even started going out on occasion – much to Eva's dismay I still have not
gotten on or under anyone as Eva so inappropriately described it.
I've spent time going through the
house and donating Sy'ds stuff. I kept some key mementos and really worked on
making the house a home for me and the boys. There are family photos now hung
from just before Syd was killed hanging prominently in the living room as well
on the dresser in our my room. I've been working on
adjusting my vocabulary as I have to accept, I'm alone in this thing called
life.
I'm trying to study to get ahead
for the semester as pre-med is a lot of work and I know that I must be on top
of everything or it is all going to crash down on my head. Before the accident
I was set to graduate in December a semester early, but now I'll be lucky if I
graduate at all. Ok stop feeling sorry for yourself and get your head out of
your ass (another thing I'm working hard to do...).
Its time to deal with the package
from the attorney. I know it is about the case against the DEA and the agent
who killed my wife, but have not wanted to peel back that wound. Her
goes nothing –
I open the package and find three
separate legal size envelopes in the package – 1 marked – Insurance Settlement,
2 marked – Estate Settlement and 3 marked – Lawsuit.
I start with the Insurance Settlement
as I am pretty sure it includes notifications about the life insurance payment
and maybe medical coverage related to the Auto accident. Sure enough everything
is there – notification of the 5M deposit from the life insurance Syd and I
purchased during the pregnancy to hedge against something happening to one of
us and support the other while taking care of the kids. Additionally
there is notification and itemization for the accident – the replacement car,
the medical bills for Syd and her friends and a note stating they had recovered
all the funds from the governments insurance company as it was clearly the
other driver's fault.
The envelope labeled `estate settlement'
was not something I knew anything about so I went there next as I was not sure
I was ready for the `lawsuit update'. I opened the envelop – As I began
reading, I came to understand that my wife had more money in their family than
I originally thought. I knew they were wealthy and that was some of the problems
her dad had with the poor farm boy from eastern Washington. Now I had a better
picture of why there was friction there. Suffice it to say - my wife's trust
had been settled and all the proceeds were now in accounts for me, to the tune
of 500M. I continued to read through the documents and found that there was
also 150M for Conor and 150M for Caleb. The documents made it clear that Syd's
grandmother was a very wise woman, very good and made sure that her estate was
taken care of even though she was still alive and kicking.
There was a handwritten note from
Syd's grandmother Lorraine (AKA – Nana) telling me to stay in touch and not to
be a stranger. She noted the tension with Syd's dad – Elliot, but told me that
the family's money was something she controlled and given Syd's love for me and
the boys the money was rightfully mine and to hell with anyone else butting in.
If they didn't like it, they might get cut off.
I called Nana and had a great conversation
– updated her on the boys, told her I was getting my shit together and asked
her if we could see her during the holidays. She was very direct on this point
– she expected to see us just as if she were my own grandmother. In no
uncertain terms did she think of me as anything but family and nothing would ever
change it. She chuckled a bit and told me that the only thing that would change
that is if I didn't find someone to spend my life with as she knew Syd would
want me to be happy and carry on and continue to build my family. I assured her
I would do my best – but it would take some time as my heart was still broken.
I opened the "lawsuit"
envelope last and read through those documents. The government was offering a
very sizable settlement, given all factors - age, career choice, earning
potential and her net worth at the time of death, the offer was 10B dollars.
The lawyers were advising that we should counter at 25B. The amount of
money was overwhelming – on the one hand it sounded like overkill, but given
Syd was worth nearly a billion when she died at 20 maybe it made sense.
I knew I needed to talk to someone,
but who? My parents did not have this kind of money and would not really
know what the right answer was, her parents were an obvious choice, but I was
not sure they would be open to talking through this given they were still grieving,
so I dialed her Aunt Eva. Her advice on the lawsuit was to let the lawyers
handle it and get what they felt was right as they were on retainer and would
get nothing more or less than their fee regardless of the sum, they got for the
wrongful death suit.
With that settled, Eva asked me
a question that caught me completely off guard – ` I hear you have a new someone
in your life'. I told her I was not seeing anyone and I was focused on healing,
the boys and school. She kept pushing and told me she knew for a fact that
there was someone new and that I was getting in my own way.
The next words out of her mouth
made me spray water across the room as I choked – if I was telling the truth, who
was the dark-haired, blue-eyed stud in my life that got me all tongue tied. I
defended my manhood and told her she was full of shit, I am straight and asked
where she was getting her information given I had buried my wife a mere 4
months ago and that wife was her niece.
Her response knocked the wind out
of me – I know more than you think I do and I need to get a grip – `love is a
feeling/emotion/state of mind' it should not be dictated by gender, race, religion
or anything else. It is what connects to each other and what allows us to be
human. She stated in such a matter-of-fact way - love is love. You need to
realize that when you find it, you need to embrace it, hold on to it, and make
it grow. I know you loved my niece with all your heart, soul and everything in
your being, that will never leave you but you need to be open to the next love
in your life - regardless of who that person is. She stated firmly – I
believe this man completes you and will make you whole again.
I told her I thought she was full
of shit but thanked her for the advice and I would think about what she said
about the "dark haired stud".
I left a message with the lawyers,
telling them that they should proceed how the saw best fit. With the life
insurance policy payout and the "estate" envelope, we would be ok
with money and whatever they were able to get from the suit, would allow us to
help others that needed it.
It was time for dinner - I fixed
the boys dinner and put it on the table. They were playing in their room
when I went into get them. I changed them, brought them to the table and put
them into their chairs - thankfully we had found the ones that attached to the
dining table so I could sit at the corner and feed them both - less messy and
less drama. I cleaned them up and let them down to run around for a while. I
cleaned up their dishes, cleaned the kitchen and put on a Disney movie for them
to watch.
We snuggled on the couch and watched
Finding Nemo. My stomach growled and the boys giggled. I realized I
had not eaten since breakfast. I got up and let the boys watch the movie
while I made a sandwich. I could not stop thinking about what Eva had said to
me, it was like a fly buzzing around – annoyingly persistent. How did she know
about Scott and my inability to speak coherently and keep my dick from getting
hard when he was here?
Damn – that man could obviously
get a rise out of me as I was getting hard just thinking about him. What the
hell was wrong with me, my wife died 4 months ago and I was now having sexual
thoughts about another dude. FUCK ME. I knew if I even were to consider
something like that my family (including Syd's parents) would disown me...
ugghhh what was I going to do as I really could not get him out of my head, but
I had no idea what he thought/felt as I kicked him to the curb when I got
flustered by him.
September and October flew by -
I was taking care of the boys, going to school, studying, working out and getting
into a routine that felt good and made me think I was going to make it through
the nightmare. I had picked the boys up from daycare and we had gotten
settled in for their dinner (chicken, noodles & spinach) which seemed to be
as much in their hair as it was in their stomachs. They ate all their
apple sauce of course and it was time for their baths. The phone rang
while we were wrapping those up - I got them in their PJS and cleaned up the
tub.
I went to the answering machine
and found that Aunt Eva had called - she was checking in to see how I was doing
and to find out if I had gotten horizontal with the dark-haired stud. I rang
her back and we talked for 30 minutes about everything that was going on in our
lives. I found out that she was seeing someone new after her divorce and
she wanted to introduce us this upcoming weekend. She was beyond excited
about the romance and wanted to spend time with the boys. She wanted to
make sure I got a babysitter for my boys and her 2 girls for Saturday night so
we could all go to a bar and have some fun.
She wanted me to ask the dark-haired
stud - I told her I was not ready to entertain that idea, but I would make sure
we had a great time and that I was looking forward to meeting her new lady
friend. Dead silence, I chuckled and told her to tell her girls that Uncle
AJ said he loved them and was looking forward to seeing them on Friday and `oh
by the way, you aren't the only one that has `ways''.