Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 12:42:15 -0700 From: Caspar Subject: my diary Diary March 5th ,2000 Well today is the first day I wright to you. Well I don't have much time, to wright things i am on a ski trip which is pretty cool but there isn't much snow. Ah well im getting by just fine. My feet are killing me ! I had a really good shower but it wasn't long and I didn't get-off lol and I didn't have any soap kus I wasn't thinking(like always). So I should tell you about my self im a 15 year old guy I was born on June 1st of 1984 so that makes me a Gemini I do seem to have 2 personalities there is this guy up here who looks like he I s going to kill someone but he is kool I don't know his name and them there is Jermery he is kool to but he needs a hair cut and had a birth defect, he isn't a handicap but his hand isn't all there. And two other guys but they aren't of any interest to me but Darren is a kool kid (he has mono), Mat ( I think that is his name) is a huge skid, also he has the sweetest shoe's I'm going to steel them from him J/K but they are kool. That is all of the guys that are up here who are my age. The girls up her are as follows Cheryl (Renee's sister) she is so hot man I want her in the worst way, Renee is a really good friend of mine and she is pretty and I want to date her but she has a b/f they're not gong to break up any time soon so ill have to stay patient till my turn comes about, Ashley is a kool girl she is a skate border and a chronic we talked about pot and drugs all day, Ali and Emily are really odd but they are ok looking. What the fuck I think that matt is jacking off behind me the bed keeps moving in a ryithem. I cant think about that now well were was I oah yeah sandy is my kool skier friend and I think she is really pretty (she just broke up with her b/f), there are more girls but I don't really care about them kus they suck well time to get to sleep I have a long day tommrow of skiing. Yeah before I forget this gut got kicked out of this comp and he went off to the side and pulled down his pants and underwear them he lifted up his shirt and flashed many ppl I was one of the lucky, then he skied down with his pants down and shirt up his dink was big but im bigger.!! March 6th, 2000 well to day was fun but my feet hurt kus I skied hard yesterday. I had a lot of fun to day nonetheless. I bought a new cd it's massive 2001 it has some kool tunes &some crappy.. I pigged out on candy and orieos so im sugarhigh but im really sleepy and my eyes are sore because I went swimming it hurts to see. When we were swimming I saw this guy with more zits on his back than I ever had on my face I felt bad for him he was like 30. I think Darren thinks im on crack because I walked up the stars of the chalet didn't see him at the top, and I just saw some thing move out of the corner of my eye. I turned around kus I was like "what the fuck!" he gave me a little smile with a kind of wink. The weather was THE BEST I just LOVED it. I skied with sandy and bri... something sandy is a good skier and the other girl is ok as well I wanted to see matt nude when we were swimming ant that other guy that I cant remember his name there bods r ok. And collage kids were swimming there such odd ppl especially the guys... gots ta go because well I ca n barley see and im sleepy. March 7th, 2000 Well um i had a great time skiing and it was the best day I just love it on the montan !!!! Im so happy I don't know what to do ppl all around me are happy to my gosh I want to live on a montan and have a season pass and ski all day. Oh man Renee has a ear ake and is almost about to cry I have to take her to the first aide room. The weather was just great just like the days before. march 12, 2000 well I haven't written to you in a long while because well nothing much has happened I rushed to finish my S.S. project and my mom has been freaking out at me a lot because of my low marks. I haven't found anyone to be in my life I have interest in a few people but not many I would love to find someone to share my thoughts and love with it's just not going to happen anytime soon but im still hoping to find someone... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh I really am not a bad person I just have strong ideas and a strong sense of what I want to have and im kinda sad because im all alone I don't really speak to many people from my heart I just speak from my image or my self and what others think. I would like to have that I will just have to bite my tongue and stick it out until the time arrives I really need some sleep and this is the best time to get some, bye. march 27th, 2000 fuck it has been a long time wow !!!!!!! well not much has happened I have done a little work at R.R. and a bit of riding on the A.T.C. brad bony was with us today and I kinda think he is gay (well I hope) so I was riding and he was grinding on my ass!!! it's all good and I could feel his dink by my ass I think he was kind of hard then he wanted to drive the trike I let him I got all hot and bothered not really tho but I could feel the blood going out of the rest of my body to the head between my legs I had to distrait my self from the really hot kid only a few millimetres from my ever so eager dink anyway and vice-versa I don't think he is way huge kus he had on some REALLY TIGHT shorts and you could see a lot of it but it got swollen when he was on back and he was locking at my dink last night. We were talking about dinks and stuff Pere "trims" his pubes I guess all the hockey guys do I might and we watched porn and talked about dinks. Brad is so hot yum. I need to get some sleep bye. march 30th, 2000 um well I broke my big toe and it is really big and fat it hurts like a bitch !!! and I went to the doctor and he talked with the surgeon and he was thinking about putting pins in my foot to keel the bone together brad wood my bro and I went and knocked on some doors at night and his in the bushes it was so funny then brad told us he shaved his nuts baled and them he showed my bro but he didn't show me well um hay ya know what a kool name is it's "Kika Usher" isn't that a sweet name I think so well um in going to chat now ok c-ya. April 2nd , 2000 Oh My God I think I found the one for me we chatted for like 4 hours and he is so sweet and I just love him to death he is sweet and I can talk to him he cared for me to. It's like when you go over a bump in the car and you loose you stomach when you go down that's how I felt for 4 some hours I put his pic as a back ground and that way I can always see him we talked about everything. Such as our past relationships and things we like to do for fun on spare time I know a lot abought him his longest relationship was 3 months his first guy was his best friend the started with hand jobs. He likes the same things as I do and wants me to teach him how to rock climb we are going to get together sometime and go to the movies and sit in the bach and make out he has never been kissed on the lips you know I told him to save him self for me aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh im in Rapture with the feeling of "us" I didn't want to stop chatting with him he also has a 7inch dink same as me well I need my sleep o man this is euphoria. April 2nd , 2000 well my B/f phoned and we didn't have much time to talk kus my mom was expecting a call. He sounded really deferent to what I thought he would soft and quiet and not to deep of a voice I think that he isn't as far along in puberty as I am oh well he is still kool I have so many songs on my comp. I really like him. He has 2000 ppl in is school wow that's a lot of ppl I really like him. Ok I was talking to him and my mom was like at the door I felt bad kus I didn't say that I loved him, I don't know if I do but it shure is something and we didn't talk about much, just school and what we did today he just got on the bus and went to his dad's house. I don't know if mom will suspect things if he phones tomorrow or not but if it's every day she will think something is up. I don't want that but I don't not want him to stop calling. I also jacked off to his pic this afternoon it was odd. I felt guilty. His real name is Dallas I like it. April 6th, 2000 my b/f will be phoning in a little while and we are just going to talk. Roy will be giving me 500$ for the A.T.C. and I am going to get a web cam, Internet and a phone line at my dad's house so I can do video chats with people my friend Chris jacked off in front of his webcam and it was so cool!! I am going to return the favour to him when I get my web cam. Am going to try to hook up a thing where I get payed to be on the net so I can make money I will need to get unlimited Internet so I can be on all day and I will do a web page wit the cam on it so ppl can see who I am and what I do it will be so cool!! April 30th , 2000 Wow it has been along time since I have written!!!!!!!!! I am so fucking in love ! My b/f is Dallas he is the best thing EVER !!!! He is really kool and plays in a marching band he plays the trumpet. I think I will take up an instrument and join his marching core. There is one song that sums up how I feel for him "I will be the one" by B.S.B. He loves me as well I hope so, and he tells me he dose love me aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww love. He went to band camp. Not like the "I once stuck a flute up my pussy to get my self off.... what you don't think I know how to get my self off" kinda band camp but they learn there routeing. I got that webcam and I love it I will send a better pic of me to him. So he has a better idea of what I look like. I do have a pic of him but it is kinda old. Dallas and I might go to Banff next summer to work and well meet and live 2 hook up in a small place in the Banff springs hotel if I get the job and he gets the same job. I think I might to go to a rave this weekend with corral and do some shit. If a guy hits on me I will go out side and fuck like rabbits al night I need to get some condoms so I don't get any STDs that would suck so much if I did. I just want a fuck friend so I could get some!! Dallas is getting funked by his "best friend" and I don't have a "best friend" which makes me mad !!! but if I take off for like 2-3 hours to fuck like crazy I think corral would be like "what the fuck?" I would deny it to the bitter end. The rave is in Duncan and it is on may the 6th and the tickets are quit a bit. Well I think I have written quite a bit and I need some sleep... I LOVE DALLAS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! I took a test and it says that I am 89% in love him.. I hope he is to, would just die if he stoped loving me ! Not really but I would feel like shit for ever ! I get butterflies when he calls and I whish I had the house to my self, so we could really talk. And dad thinks I am some kinda freak kus we talk for like way to long that is what he tells me but I don't think we are in the phone for to long but that is kus I like to talk to him so much. I wish I had free long distance calling! But really need to go.. I love him so much !! June 11th 2000 well what a long time FUCK well Dallas and I broke up I have a new crush who is really cool !!! And we are going to hook up this summer I hope no more fuck and chuck !! I just got back from CALIFORNIA it was so fun and I got a start on my tan. There was this hotty staying in the hotel and I was like lets fuck well ummmmmm I didn't really say that but I wanted to say it. There was this creepy guy who I think was trying to abduct me ROARRRRRRR it was so sick. Then dad came in and the guy took off not like I am a freak but the gut was hung ! But still creepy. I didn't bring my BO stick and I feel really grose and like dirty ! I think I would have gotten some if I brought it but "whateveo" I want to smoke up with jess when I get home I don't have much to say other than that I turned 16 on June 1st I didn't go to get my licence yet I am going to go when I get home so bye July 18, 2000 well I am locked in my room my mom had a huge spaz on me kus my room was messy well fuck her. I locked my self in my room. I am now attending summer school I was in it fore like a month but I haven't gone the while time kus I wan camping and just doing other shit. I did finish my math course in summer school and I got 76 % on my test it was a pretty good make considering I had no clue what they wanted me to do. I went camping that was fun, this little kid got my number and my addy kus I gave it to him. He wants to come over and chill and go BMXing, I don't really know if that is the real reason though I think he wants sex or something. He is kinda cute but he is only 11 I think but I think he knows he is gay or bi and I also think he clued into my "orientation" as well. I got my tongue pierced it was kool and didn't hurt at all I love it kus I play with it lots and I think I will be able to give better oral sex but who knows I haven't given any kind of oral sex to anyone. As I told you I am in my room I am trying to get my mom to say sorry to me for what she did coming in to my room and taking stuff of mine and all. That really pissed me off !!!! I am planning to go see matt he is so cool and so hot and so sex in a can !!!! Well I could just eat him up in a spoon LOL I always wanted to say that. I am planning to go see him in Calgary if I can it will be fun and it will well be a time to remember if you know what I mean. While I am talking about my sex life I am hopeing to have a 3sum with ray Denis and my self it's going to be so much fun. Also a guy from Indonesia is totally in to me. He tried to get my number and wants to call me. phone sex mabe. There is a guy in Richmond who wants to fuck me to but I don't know I want to go 4 it but I also don't. I am in a dilemma because my body is going "fuck fuck fuck fuck" and so on, but I want a relationship with someone. Not just a "fuck and chuck" kind of thing. My friend Chris from NY is also planning to come to see me and have good time and I will show him around out little shit hole of a town........ I am also thinking of publishing some stuff but I need to write it first, it's just that i have so many ideas all at once and I can't write as fast as I think. Well am going to try to write something Wish me luck! July 19, 2000 Just finished grooming Tucker (my dog) and he looks great ! Well I went to the movies tonight and ti was fun I saw the Perfect Storm it was ok I wanted to go and see X men more well I and going to be up most of the night kus well I want to and I never wrote anything last night kus well I was being lazy. I never talk to Denis and ray anymore they have disappeared on me also Chris is neve on. Last night and early this morning I got off so many times it was kool but I was well unable to get it up by the end of the night. Well I thought it was kinda funny. At the movies there were a few hottyz, but just my luck they were just looking not making any contact, or trying... I have such fucked up luck with guys they all look, make eye contact, lick lips and all the sexual body language. But no action, I hate it !!!! They should come over and talk to me or some thing, but will they ? No way a bunch of chicken shits. I wish I had a car kus if I did I could go to the movies and then I could get hit on and be hit on. May be go home with someone, but I need to finish summer school. Then I will get my "L" fore 3 months then I get my "N" and I will more or less be FREE!!!!!!!!!!! I really want to publish this!! If I do I guess you guys will want my e-mail and my ICQ number and my Yahoo pager nick name. My e-mail is my ICQ number is 21167228. My yahoo pager nick name is A_16_angelboy and caspar_19. if anyone wants to hook up I live on Vancouver island that is in British Columbia, Canada. Bye for now