Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 01:22:03 EST
From: TanasugarnFan1@aol.com
Subject: No Longer a Crush 1-2

Hey, guys I wrote a new story with out two protagonists. It is called, No
Longer a Crush Look for it! :)

*** This story contains homosexual related material.  If you're not
supposed to read this because your underage, do not like this kind of stuff
or illegal read it if you like just don't get caught :)***

Hello. If you remember my last story, it was The Project. Considering I
really never finished it I am doing a story with the same characters. This
time around though, I made them young from seniors to freshman. Don't know
why, just did. Whenever you see the  it means, I am saying it from Matt's
point of view. TanasugarnFan1@aol.com e-mail me.

----

No Longer a Crush
Chapter 1:

	I opened the doors to my first class. Another terrible day will
come my way, in the wonderful world of high school. The 'best time of my
life'. Being single, sexualy confused, and alone. If you call that the best
time of your life, you are sadly mistaken. I had bascially no friends in
school. Except for one. My best and only friend. Kelly, how she was so
important to me. All my other friends decided to go to different high
schools. Kelly, was a lot more social than me, and had a lot more friends.
Usually, I felt cast out and alone. I knew I brought that on to myself.
Sometimes, I wish I was more social and I knew I could be. But I knew there
was something about me that prevented this. I was always little self
concious, a little naive, a little everything. So, whenever I had to talk
to someone that I didn't know, I freaked. I looked cool, but on the inside,
I would be freaking. Anyways, back to me walking to class.

"Hey, freak," retorted Matt, "have you gone through your pity trip yet
today?"

"Shutup, I'm not in the mood to deal with your mouth," I replied. Most of
the time I was much more fierce. I would have gotten through rage, or some
type of long ended replied. Two reasons, accounted for this: It was so early
in the morning, that I was to tired to care.  Or because, the person
speaking was Matt. I had always had a crush on Matt. From the first time I
had seen him in the 7th grade. He was so adorable, and still is. Lately,
though I gave up most my chances of getting to him. I thought he was
probally straight, and anyways not interested. In the back of my head I
prayed he was bi like me. But, usually I gave up hope, and dropped off all
chances.

"Someone's a little touchy this morning aren't we?"

"You don't even know."

	Usually, during homeroom we fought when we were both in the room.
Like a ritual per say. Most of the time people let us be. Also most of the
time it escalated a lot more. We'd get in heated arguments about nothing.
We were face to face most of the time. Today, I wasn't planning on doing
anything. Shutup was all I could bare. To tired, and he was to cute.

"That's it? No snobbish comments? Nothing! Someone must be out of it!"

"Shutup. I am just not in the mood to deal with you."

"Ouch, you'll let your mood get in a way of me?"

"Yes."

"Shot down again!" he smiled and walked away.

	We didn't really hate eachother. We had conflicting opinions and
heated discussions. We wern't friends either, we were just class mates. But
what killed me, was what ever he does, he has this charm. The boyish grin
and vivid personality, that made you not hate him. It was impossible. No,
matter how hard I tried I couldn't hate him. I just couldn't.

'EEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR'

	The first bell rung. Which meant we had about four mintues or so to
get to our next class. If we were late it wasn't good. I took my seat. And
you guessed it, it was next to Matt. We had almost all the same classes,
except for two I think. We usually didn't talk for those classes, but
occasionally we did.

	The teacher went on with a boring lecture, how we should respect
the school, the teachers, and students and blah, blah. The usual crap. He
went around collecting the homework. I did it, but I couldn't find it. I
knew if I missed another homework, I would do worse. He came to my desk.

"Do you have the work, sir?"

"I can't find..."

"I have his work Mr. Mullins," spoke up Matt, which surprised me and the
teacher.

"Exactly, why do you have his work Mr. Peek?"

"Well, yesteday Josh came to my house to do another project. When he took
out his work, I guess his work slipped out. I forgot to give it to him this
morning."

"OK, Mr. Peek that explains everything."

"You can talk for five mintues."

	At this point I was confused. How did my work get into Peek's
hands?  His story was a total lie, and it confused me. It seemed that he
was expecting me. Considering he was sitting by himself.

"What the hell was that?"

"What was what?" he questioned.

"How did you get me homework?"

"It was quite simple."

"Oh, was it really."

	He beckoned me closer, "Yes, it was. If you want to know how come
to my house after school."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"But, why?"

"I have a surprise for you, a big one," he responded. "Plus, I need you to
tutor me in math."

"I don't tutor without a price," I responded.

"I think I have the perfect, amount for you."

"You think so?"

"I know so," he said. "Now, show up. We have the math test tomorrow and I
think I am going to flunk it, and I need you to help me."

	The first bell rang. Now, I had math of all subjects. As I rushed
out the door, Matt was trailing behind me.

"Are you drawn to me, or just trying to be a annoyance?" I said.

"Didn't you learn anything about me, from 8th grade?" he asked. "When, I
want something I get it. Right now I am making sure, you get to my house
after school."

"You live so far away, how do expect me to get there."

"Take the bus with me, and my parent's will drive you."

"I don't know, I was planning to go out with Kelly."

"Well, your going to have to cut plans, and going to my house. You got it?
No questions asked." he said.

"Now, who's the feisty one?" I asked. We had a laugh. "Couldn't you get one
of your 'cool' friends, to help you out?"

"What, are you saying I'm not your friend." he gave me a sappy face. I knew
if I saw it I would lose, so I turned away.

	He looked hurt, but I ignored the face and went to class.

	The rest of the day went on boring as ever. At the end I stepped
outside, preparing to take my bus when, I saw Matt waiting for me.

"Where do you think your going?" he asked.

"Home."

"Didn't you learn anything from our talk?" asked him. "Your going with me
and your going to like it."

	He dragged me on to his bus. "Fun." I thought.

-----------

No Longer a Crush Chapter 2:

	We arrived at his house. It looked like no one was home, and it was
just us. We went through his house and to his room.

"You need help in math? I always thought you were good in math."

"I am."

"Then, why am I here?"

"I told you, I had a surprise for you."

"I am not sure, I want to know what the surprise is."

"You'll enjoy it, I am sure."

	We decided to do our homework. I decided that whatever the
surprise, I would be surprised. Better get my things done before, I get
surprised or possible scared out of my mind. I was done faster, and he just
sat there amazed.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Do that. Go so fast!"

"I don't know, I just do. I usally get more than 1/2 of them wrong anyways,
so it isn't that good."

"Still."

"Are you almost done?"

"Yes, but we can finish this later."

"O.K." I said. "What are we going to do now?"

"Well, I have to tell you something."

"Go, ahead."

"You know. I have been thinking. We have a lot in common. Your a very cool
person. So, I was wondering if we could be like friends," he said. Having
that puppy dog face that gets me everytime.

"Where did all this emotion come from?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, usually we don't say more than two nice words torwards eachother,
and now you want to be my friend?"

"I don't know. We usually don't fight about anything, and it is more of an
act than a true thing."

"That's true," I said, while he smiled.

"And besides, beyond all the anomosity that we show during out mock fights,
we have a lot in common," Matt said, seriously.

"Like what?"

"Why do you keep on second guessing me? If you don't think you can trust me
than I don't think we should be friends," he said in another sad look.

"It's not that, it is just..."

"Just what?"

"Lately, I have been having a tough time trusting people. Usually, things
just get blwon up in my face. I can't trust anyone anymore."

"You, shouldn't think like that. There are good people out there. I promise
that I will never do anything to hurt you. I mean if we are going to be
friends, I want us to be best friends. I just don't need another minor
friend right now. Even though I don't know you that well, I still think I
can trust you," he said nicely. I thought he was putting this on a little
strong, but I accepted it.

"Alright, I need a new person to trust right now anyways."

"Great! Now for surprise number two."

"Oh, no," I said sarcastically..

"Shut-up!"

"Ok, ok lets hear it."

"Well, I feel embarrassed to tell this to you. I have never said anything
to anyone about this before. I hope you can accept me for it, and we can
move on. Before, I do tell you, you must promise not to tell a soul about
this," he said.

"I promise!" I replied.

"Ok, well. I have some feeling inside of me, that tells me I am attracted
to both men and women. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am
bisexual. I have only known this for a few months, but I have wanted to
tell someone. I feel your the only person, I can tell this to, because I
don't think you will judge me. Please tell me you don't hate me," he said,
softly.

"I don't hate you! I like you better that you thought you could tell me
about this! I feel so honored. Now, that we are confessing things I have
something to tell you as well. I am also bi...I never told anyone this
before. I think that now that you told me, that it is fair for me to tell
you that two."

"You are?!" he replied.

"Yup."

"Well, then I have even more to tell you."

"OK, go on."

"OK, well what I wanted to say is...."

----------

Hi, again! It's JS here, talking about my story. I like this story because
I feel the characters. I left it with another cliff hanger!  You know me!
Anyways, in the next chapter will learn Matt's new secret. A1nd learn more
about him! So e-mail me with any comments. Tanasugarnfan1@aol.com

-JS