Date: Fri, 16 Apr 2004 13:03:28 -0400 (EDT) From: Sean Roberts Subject: The Silver Compass - 9 The Silver Compass - 9 Sean Roberts All feedback is appreciated. Please send to seanr_13@yahoo.ca Sudden Loss His parents were the only ones in the house. Matthew was having pizza with his team, celebrating his victory. Sarah, instead of going home with Michael as she usually did, was at her own house, thinking about what she had just said to her best friend. "How come you weren't at the game?" Michael asked his parents. "We both ended up getting home late from work," said his father. He and Mrs. Miller were beside each other on the couch, watching television. Michael's mother turned down the volume. "Who won?" "Matthew." "Who?" asked his mother. "Matthew." She laughed because to her the name was just a sound, one she did not recognize the first time. "You know, your son mom..." Michael smiled. "Why are you calling him Matthew?" Mrs. Miller asked. "He's started calling me Michael." The smile disappeared. He did not really know why he had said Matthew just then. He began to regret having said it. "Well what's the matter? What did you two fight about..." Michael began to look uncomfortable. "Leave them alone," said Mr. Miller, not taking his eyes off his son. "Brothers fight, it happens." Michael shot his father a grateful look. "Listen, I have some studying to do...at Sarah's actually, so, I'm going to go. See you later." Michael walked quickly out of the room. I love you; he said it in his mind upon entering the hallway. He had wanted to say it out loud, but he had not done it in such a long time that it would have felt strange. For years, none of them had said it to each other. It was just one of those things that boys grow out of; one of those things that everybody forgets to say to people they see every day, the most important people in their lives. "Sarah! I've been looking for you all evening. I looked for you at the game, I waited outside for a bit to see if you'd come out..." "I was there Michael. And I saw you too. Afterwards, I mean. Listen..." "Cameron was there," Michael said dejectedly. "He was the goalie for the other team. I guess you didn't see what he looked like, his mask was on the whole time. He found me outside afterwards. He came to talk to me..." "I know. I heard." "What?" "I heard Michael!" Her voice was raised. "But I want to know what you're doing here!" Michael took a step backwards. "Sarah...come on, you weren't serious about..." "I was, Michael." The name hit him. She was still saying it. "Sarah why're you calling me..." "Good bye Michael." She shut the door. Michael walked back to his on house and sat in his car. Half an hour later he pulled out of the driveway. He returned home with two bottles in a brown paper bag. * Michael emerged from his bed room to get a glass and some ice from the kitchen. Matthew was walking down the corridor, lugging his hockey things in a large duffel bag, his knapsack on his back. Michael walked to the opposite end of the hall to open the door for his brother. "Thanks," Matthew said. "Congratulations," Michael said. He followed Matthew into his room. "What is it? Oh, right, Cameron..." "Y-you saw him?" "He was the opposing goalie. Of course I saw him. But you recognized him through his mask?" "No. He came to see me afterwards. Well, he's angry about something. He came to see me to tell me to fuck off. And Sarah, before the game...she doesn't want to be friends with me. I don't think I ever told you this. She's in love with me. And all of a sudden she can't handle being my friend any more. I've had a shitty day." Matthew was staring at his brother. He was standing straight; he was quiet. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this." Michael left the room quickly. Tears had started forming in his eyes; he did not want to cry in front of his brother. With the alcohol, the tears and his feelings suppressed themselves.