Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2016 11:51:09 -0600 From: Matt G Subject: I'm In Control Part 1 Disclaimer: This story depicts sex between consenting teenage boys and situations involving sexual abuse. If this is a trigger for you, I advise caution while reading this. If you're under the age of 18 or If this offends you, leave this page. If this is illegal where you live... you should move. Read at your own risk. All names and locations have been changed to respect anonymity, any resemblance encountered is completely coincidental. Please do not download for any use outside of personal without the author's consent. If you'd like to give feedback or have any general questions regarding the story, I can be reached at XX20.I1.XIII3@gmail.com flames will be ignored. Enjoy. ___ I'm I'm Control, Part One People always see me as an innocent boy. It's a snap judgement for the most part because I'm white - blonde hair, blue eyed and a red blooded, all American boy who played baseball and wrestled for the school. Maybe because I was a little on the small side they assumed I had the basic understanding that adults expected of a kid my age, but to be fair, I was polite and cordial. If they could see me now, laying in bed with a boy two years my senior, his cock squeezed tightly in my ass, coupled with my throbbing erection and the ropes of clear cum across my belly and chest, I'm sure they'd blush a billion shades of red. His name was Caleb, and I was in love with him, but didn't consider him my "boyfriend." Maybe it was the environment we grew up in or just that we were both just innately masculine but that word used to describe relationships between men just sounded so... Gay? Ironic, I know. To be honest, I wouldn't like being called anyone's "boyfriend." It just sounded to fuckin cheesy to me. That being said, the lack of labeling probably resulted in the lack of exclusivity in said relationship. A boy three years my senior, Kyle was the fuel for a million of my orgasms and a trillion of Caleb's. Kyle didn't consider himself gay, bisexual was more accurate as he'd had plenty of girlfriends and went through probably a couple hundred condoms with them, once seven with a girl and Caleb at the same time. Kyle didn't even like any other boys or men save for us. Though, all three of us were the same in that regard, Caleb and I just had an urge for each other stronger than one for any girl. Caleb and Kyle had been friends since kindergarten/first grade, Kyle being the one to protect his younger friend. Not that Caleb was a pussy, he was just very down to earth and relaxed. He preferred not to fight at all, and when forced to, Kyle's temper normally erupted and he just finished the fight. I digress. At twelve and thirteen, Kyle and Caleb had been fucking around for two years and it became embedded in their pubescent minds that sex with each other was the best sex they'd ever have. I met them when I was ten - those circumstances are fucked, a story for another day - and Caleb and I instantly snapped in tune with each other. I was captivated by him. His dishwater hair shaved short, his very open sleeveless shirt with near gaping holes on the sides have me a wonderful view of his taut chest and four pack of abs that were much more developed than mine in a very teenager sort of way, those pink nipples were boyish, though, and his face was as well. It would be boyish for a while, dimensionally, it was starting to develop those teenager angles to it, but his eyes, his smile and his nose stayed beautiful like a boy's. As cheesy as it sounds, love at first sight was definitely real for me. Kyle, on the other hand wasn't pretty. No, he was beyond that. He was so hot that I popped fucking wood at ten years old seeing him fully clothed. At thirteen, he'd been a wrestler all his life and had a very tight, very cut body. His abs were visible twenty-four seven, probably even through large, ski jackets, the muscles in his arms and his chest, even in his back looked tensed when they weren't and somehow, he retained a soft skin and comforting hug. I expected him to feel like a fucking rock. And holy shit, the first time I ever saw Kyle naked was like having a first orgasm all over again. His penis was perfect. Absolutely perfectly proportioned to his body, hanging over perfectly round balls. By god, that boy knew how to have sex. Sex with Caleb was amazing because of the feelings, and the discovery of our bodies on both parts. He was a bit clumsy, sometimes too gentle, but when he got rough, that's when he outshined Kyle. Kyle was just an orgasm machine. It was probably innate, came with the whole Adonis package. Not to say Kyle had no feelings, because there were occasions when he did show a love that surfaced from deep within him. Something he'd pushed down until some substance- usually weed released it. There was a point in time when Kyle loved me. Actually, several points in time. I was so blinded by Caleb that rarely anything but hanging out with one of my best friends and sex showed up on my radar involving Kyle. I probably led him on unknowingly. Like I said, when it came to sex, neither me nor Caleb even wanted to be exclusive. I couldn't take Kyle out of his life, and he couldn't deny me the orgasm train that Kyle was, and Chelsea was a girl, she was in no danger of tearing either of us apart at the time. She never did, but I eventually started to love her as I got older - again, circumstances for another day. Back to Kyle. I lead him on. I used to ask him to hold me when Caleb wasn't there because he was strong and warm. I cuddled him in our sleep and looked up to him like I looked up to my brother. And Kyle just had a big heart and wanted to protect both Caleb and I. We had... rough childhoods. His dad was an enraged alcoholic and beat Caleb as a kid so badly that the broken bones in his ribs still stuck out just a bit from never properly healing. His mom took six Vicodin and slit her wrists in the bathtub while Caleb was doing homework in the next room. There's always this strange contest between scarred people to prove that their life was worse than everybody else's. For me, I didn't even like remembering it, much less tell it to people and use it as a guilt tool. Neither did Caleb. But, if we were competing, I'd say we were at a draw. My mom was once happily married. She'd always had a problem with the "upper" variant of drugs, specifically cocaine, seeing as it was the best thing since sliced bread back in the late eighties where she spent her early teenage years. She had her first child at a rather young age, eighteen I believe. 1993 was when the oldest of my brothers, Ryan was born. Due to the young age, Ryan's dad was forced to get a job performing manual labor and she worked nights at a diner (so cliché, I know, but this shit actually happens.) They lived in a modest home in a bad part of town. A very bad part of town. But they kept to themselves and survived. Seven years later, my older brother surprised them both. The year 2000 saw my brother born. Fuckin' millennials, amirite? Jack was apparently a good baby, but nobody cares about that shit. A year after Jack was born, his dad passed away to some sort of epidemic disease that plagued the country. Actually, he slipped in the bathtub and cracked his head open on the soap holder after drinking nearly a full bottle of gin at a party. Mom was distraught. She spiraled down into a pit of depression amplified by booze which was the primary reason I was born. Some "struggling musician," probably just an idiot kid with a guitar who didn't want to work for a living, came through her diner when she was closing. Apparently, the guy was very good looking, she'd say that she wished she could find him again. Anyways, his name was Luke. In 2003, I was born. Whaddya know, she named me Luca after her mystery dream hunk. And yes, Luca, not Lucas. Motherfucking Luca. I'm not even gonna tell you my middle name. Anyways, before I was even born or conceived, she was already excessively drinking and spending paychecks on cocaine until she couldn't afford it and moved to amphetamines. Mostly just Gatorade meth, though she'd take Ryan, Jack and I to the doctor claiming we had horrid ADD and get Adderal and Vyvanse. She was smoking and snorting while I was being... developed? (What do you call that) I was born premature by about a month and was very sick and very dependent on amphetamines. I had SID. Well, shill have. I'd always been small for my age and always smart. But, I was in this constant state of mania, I could never calm down and as a baby, I'd scream for hours and my mother was completely unable to console me. My fuckin' brother raised me because mom decided she'd had enough of my craziness. As a kid, the mania only got worse and I'd have panic attacks at school, I was incredibly irritable and violent. If I felt as though someone was even thinking about making fun of me in any way, I'd go ballistic on their ass. I was also extremely needy for physical contact, generally to be held so I felt protected because I was always on edge, living in a constant fear of... nothing, really. Ryan was patient with me, and to this day, my favorite person in the whole world, Jack was a close second. Ryan had no issues letting me sleep in his bed and holding me tight until I fell asleep, where he took that opportunity to put me back in mine and Jack's bed. And Jack just innately snuggled anything. Things got hellish at age six when "Uncle" Paul moved in to "help with the children." He was a meth head himself, an alcoholic and a sick fuck who used my mom's constant meth binges where she disappeared for days, sometimes even weeks as opportunity to... well, do less than appropriate things to me and my brother Jack. Ryan was sixteen, he'd taken on two full time jobs to support us because mom was just abusing social security to buy drugs. He was rarely home. This went on for months until one day, Jack had enough of it. He hit Paul with his metal baseball bat which only enraged the man. He grabbed it and hit the back of Jack's head, and I mean really fuckin' smacked it. Me, being an SID kid, nobody was around to hold me, and I just wailed. Maybe it was pure luck, or maybe some sort of deity exists and finally took pity on me, but Ryan had been given half a day off. He found me sitting naked in a pool of Jack's blood. Everything after that just turned sideways. Ryan went to confront Paul, and an altercation broke out resulting in a murder investigation when my brother shot the man two times. CYFD and the Sheriff's Dept. wouldn't leave me the fuck alone, I was shoved unwillingly into a children's support group and forced into seeing a psychiatrist who gave me a million and a half pills to make me feel like a robot, labeling me with "early onset bipolar, PTSD, disassociation- blah blah blah." I hate to sound like the typical "Edge Lord emo kid," but I know that none of them really understood exactly what had happened and what I saw. They said that someone violated my trust, bullshit, I never trusted Paul to begin with. They said my view of sex would become dangerous and I may try and do it to someone else. Bullshit, I was repulsed to the point of nausea when anybody smaller or younger than me so much as flinched because of something I did or said. They wanted mom to "watch" Jack and I for these signs. Contradictory to what the doctors previously said; Jack would never wake up and he'd be brain dead if he did." All the sudden mom was acting like she cared about me and the worst thing outside of my brother's diagnosis and my labels was that they held Ryan in a cell for two weeks and he couldn't hold me or make me feel better in any way, just temporarily through phone calls. Jack woke up, and he wasn't retarded. The doctors all gasped and thanked God for this miracle. We'd later be told that there was little evidence to support the previous doctors claims. He probably wanted as much money as possible by keeping Jack as long as he could. Whatever. Ryan was placed on probation until he was 18 and was shoehorned into seeing the same fucking shrink that Jack and I saw. Jack became reclusive and even more violent. If mom came so much as ten feet near him, he'd scream and yell and throw shit saying how much he hates her and how much he wanted her to just kill herself. He scared the living shit out of me. I couldn't calm him down for anything, though he did seem to see me through his red haze, he would make damn sure I was never hit and he'd even grab my wrist and force me behind him like mom was going to kill us. Only Ryan could calm him down. But Jack was extremely uncomfortable with any sort of contact with any human being except for me, we'd been... making contact with each other for four months. He would flinch away from Ryan, even, but I could run at him and he'd run back at me. I wasn't uncomfortable being touched, though I did regress into some strange habits like night terrors, pissing the bed and stuff like that. Just more ammunition for mom to use against me. I became increasingly violent myself and nobody could calm me down. I'd swing at anybody in my general vicinity. It got to the point where I was accompanied by a school security guard every school day. (Principle thought it was in bad taste to expel a rape victim. She really meant it was bad press.) I rarely got angry at home, not even at mom because instead of being angry, I just wanted someone to love me and hold me which Jack usually did. That evolved when he was eleven and I was nine. Puberty was the most confusing time for him in his entire life. He liked girls but didn't want them to touch him. He was also attracted to boys which made him guilty and afraid that he'd be like Paul. He cried a lot, and wanted to be alone a lot. And then his savior was found. Ryan got legal and grew in his closet. Weed calmed Jack down to the point of being normal again which was a massive, massive achievement on weed's part. THC was the real MVP. He told me that he could sort things out now and figure out why he was sad or why he had urges to do things. He let people touch him again, not everybody, but people he knew. He admitted his attraction to boys and his fantasy of putting his dick inside them. Our psychiatrist said that it was normal for for people like us to experience sexual fantasies. She set up a clear boundary system with him that he never, ever crossed. My libido never went away, even at nine years old. I was hyper sexual in manic states of bipolar episodes and I knew all about sex from Paul. I initiated it with Jack. Back in the bad days, we were forced to do things to each other and grew to like them. One night in bed, I faced him. He was wide awake in the middle of the night like I was, but we hadn't said a single word. The moment I touched him, everything got urgent. Hands were in undies and cocks were in hands. I shook and he spat some watery cum inside his briefs. He held me and we went to sleep. This became so regular that we just stopped wearing clothes to bed. Eventually, he got involved with the wrong people and started coming home less and less until he practically moved out at twelve years old. Ryan was pissed and they had a fight and I was forced to let go of Jack's warmth at night. Ryan got accepted into college out of state and left when I was nine, promising to come home often. I was alone completely now. Up until I had a panic attack in my bed at ten years old and decided it was a good idea to walk in the rain at midnight to try and find Jack. I was delusional and ended up falling down in a concrete ditch that was pretty flooded. The "drug" ditch where Jack frequented along with thousands of other teenagers. It was empty in the middle of the night in heavy rain save for a misfit group stoners named Kyle, Chelsea and Caleb. Caleb saw me fall into the ditch and ran down it's sides into the near-waist deep rain water to save me. And he succeeded. I'd just hit my head and nearly drowned so I was pretty unreasonable and delusional, and fucking pissed, but it was Kyle who managed to calm me by simply wrapping his coat around me and zipping it up. Kyle has this sixth sense, I swear to god, where he can just tell when people needed to be protected. He hugged me and I never wanted him to let go. They took me to Kyle's house to get changed and let me rest. Caleb, who'd been drunk and high all night, passed out and I got to sleep next to him in the nude because my shorts were being washed. He just had boxers on. He cuddled me in his sleep, but nothing happened. We talked for several hours when we woke up and I'm sure by the end I was already in love. At ten years old. It was infatuation, really. It evolved into love eventually. Once they knew I was alone in my house, I stayed the week at Kyle's house which Caleb pretty much lived at. Kyle's mom was amazing. She coddled me, for sure and I loved it because I hadn't ever experienced that before. Caleb, Kyle and I slept in a queen sized bed. I was a hard sleeper. When I was out, I was fuckin' dead. But one night, I was woken by a nightmare. Kyle and Caleb didn't hear me gasp I guess, because Kyle just kept on humping away at Caleb's ass. I always thought I'd be repulsed at seeing that sight again, but when I saw Caleb's face, it just turned me on to a new level of horny. Caleb was not only loving it, he was practically begging for it. His dick even stayed hard. This wasn't like what I experienced. There were two sides to everything and this was the good side. They caught me and freaked out, I told them they didn't have to stop, they gave me the lame "older boys do older boy things..." Yeah, I called bullshit and told them I knew exactly what they were doing because someone did it to me once. I didn't explain the context, and wouldn't for a while. They were surprised and the rest is, as they say, history. From that day on, we all played "big boy" games (God, that sounds so dumb) together. Neither ever stuck it in me, though. I was afraid that if I ever told them what happened to me, they would outright refuse to stick it in me. For that reason, I never told Kyle. I lost my virginity to him one night. I was eleven, he was fourteen. He was drunk and high, I was high as a kite - yes, in my neighborhood, eleven year olds smoked pot, I was smoking at nine with my brothers. Anyways, we'd been at a small bonfire at the lake and he went with me to go take a piss saying that I needed to be "protected if anything attacked." I now know that was bullshit, but I still liked it. I didn't know where Caleb was, probably getting sucked on by Chelsea (they lovvveeed to fuck each other.) No judgement in our group of friends. We were all pretty much the modern day incarnation of the sixties, just without the horrid clothes and Jesus hair. Everyone had sex with everyone. Sometimes at once. It was just whatever. Anyways... After I pissed, I found Kyle staring at the small cliff and across the moon-reflected lake, two beers in his hands, one open and one not yet opened. I knew it wasn't for me, he didn't let me drink. He was quiet before he took a swig and said; "take your clothes off." Don't worry, it wasn't an order, just a playful dare. Before I could reply, he chugged down the remainder of his beer and tossed off his shirt and tugged down his nylon shorts - he wasn't wearing underwear so I saw his naked ass in the moonlight. He never wore underwear. Fuck, none of us ever wore underwear. I was high and feeling adventurous so I followed his lead, stripping down to nothing in the warm summer night. He walked toward me, popping the top of his second beer and literally chugging it down in front of me which was fine with me because with his head tilted back and his arm cocked up, I got to stare at his body any way I wanted. At this point, I wasn't really scared of being caught though. Everything stared at Kyle when he was naked, even Nature held it's breath. He finished his beer with an exhale of breath and tossed the bottle away. He stood in front of me and turned, lowering himself down. "Get on." I wasted no time, and I wasn't even embarrassed that he could feel my boner against his back. I just loved being so close to him. He was warm and he smelled like weed, beer, sweat and axe. Had I been older, I'd've been leaking precum all over his back. As he walked forward, I then realized what he was planning. "Wait, Kyle, don't..." I hated heights. I'd never had the balls to jump off the cliffside. Not that it was massive, but to an eleven year old with SID, everything was larger than life. He turned an eye to me and asked, "do you trust me?" I gulped. "You won't let go?" I asked meekly. He smiled and shook his head, setting me back down. He held my hand as we walked to the edge of the cliff and he turned his back to it. "Stand in front me and turn around." I complied. "Cross your arms over your chest." My heart beat faster as I did. He leaned down a little bit and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm gonna hold you tight. Don't worry, I won't let go." I nodded. He placed his chin on my shoulder. "Push your head back against my shoulder real tight." I felt his breath on my cheek and smelled the beer lingering. My head pounded faster and faster and my breath became more and more shallow. He chuckled. "Luca, calm down. Would I ever hurt you?" That actually managed to calm me a bit. I shook my head and took a deep breath. "Close your eyes and hold your breath." I did and he walked slowly back to the very edge of the cliff before yanking me firmly into his arms and jumping back first. That feeling when your stomach lurches uncomfortably was curbed tremendously by the sound of his whooping voice, by his strong arms wrapping so tight, his chest and groin pressed against my backside could've melted into me. I felt at home, soaring through the air and half expecting to die. Strange, I know, but maybe it was because I'd be dying with him holding me. I wouldn't be alone. We hit the lake's surface in a crack and a shock of cold followed by muffled underwater. I realized why he wanted me to press my head firmly back now, my head kinda hit his collar bone uncomfortably hard. He loosened his grip on me as we descended a bit deeper into the lake, and I turned around only for him to wrap me back up tightly before kicking to the surface. We both inhaled and opened our eyes. He was in a state of bliss, his green eyes were so bright, he could've lit up the whole valley. I knew he was even happier because he could tell I had fun. He laughed and pulled me into a tight hug, kissing me on the forehead. "I told you I wouldn't let go." I nodded against his chest. "Hey, let's swim to the other bank. There's a clearing further in and the stars are really bright out here." He said in a half whisper. I nodded. "Kay." He let go and challenged me to a race which he obviously won, but I was having way to much fun to worry about it - I was normally a sore looser. He pulled himself into the rocky surface, motioning me to follow. "C'mon!" His perfect smile flashed at me. We ran all the way down to the clearing. I thought he'd planned all of this at first, seeing the blankets on the stony surface, a tent with a cooler resting in a small hole filled with water. "Me and Caleb camp out here a lot when his dad goes ballistic." Kyle explained. That meant they fucked out here all the time. "Welcome to casa de... buttfuck." I laughed. He reached inside the tent and pulled out more blankets and a few pillows, creating a comfortable place to lie down and a black travel bag. He sat down and pat the spot next to him. "But won't we get the blankets all wet?" Kyle chuckled knowingly. "Trust me, these blankets are always wet." I smirked, knowing exactly what he meant. I sat next to him and he covered me with the blankets, pulling me to lay down with him. My head rested on his shoulder. "You're brave, Luca." He said softly. "Thanks." He rubbed my chest underneath the blanket. He always did that, and only to me. Even if I had a shirt, he'd lift it and rub me underneath that. I never knew why. "Kyle..." "Yeah, kid?" "How come you rub my chest?" Our voices were a low, near whisper. "Dunno." He answered. "My brother used to do it to me when I was scared. It relaxed me... maybe I do it cause I wanna protect you." My eyes remained on the stars painting neon across the inky black sky. He did make me feel protected, like he was my armor and nothing could get to me as long as he held me. I snuggled closer to him. "I think your my best friend." I admitted lowly. "What about Caleb?" "Well, Caleb is.. he's more than my friend." I answered. "He's like... I dunno." He chuckled. "You love him." I nodded with a slight blush. "Yeah, he's easy to fall in love with." "Do you love him?" I asked curiously. He nodded. "Very much. He's practically my brother." "Do you love him like a brother? Or... like I love him?" I felt him look down at the top of my head. "How do you love him?" I shrugged. "Like... I dunno, like he's part of me or something. I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't my friend." There was a small silence for a second, just the steady breathing from both of us and the thump of his heart against my back. "No." Kyle admitted. "I love him like my brother. I love someone else like that, though." I blushed lightly, a bit uncomfortably. "I... I don't wanna take him from you." Kyle chuckled. "Dude, he's all yours. He's happy as fuck with you and we'll never be more than... whatever the fuck we are." Kyle chuckled causing me to as well. Our group dynamic was fucking weird. "Who's the person you love?" I asked. "Stop being nosy." He smiled. "Ohh. It's that boy who fucks you, huh?" I teased. Mystery boy who was the only person allowed to inside Kyle. So secret, not even Caleb knew who he was. "Maybe." Kyle replied. "Yeah. Totally is him. Who is he?" "None of your business, that's who." He poked my rib causing me to jerk. "Let's just chill, no more about mystery boy." I snuggled further into him. "Kay." The sound of the summer breeze silenced us, carrying with it the smell of the fresh lake that mixed with the smell of his body, only slight smell of axe lingering. There was a moment where everything kind just... changed. I couldn't tell you what caused it or why it happened, maybe it was because we suddenly realized we were nude and his soft cock was pressed against my butt, but his rubbing became methodical, lingering purposefully on my nipples and then slowly lowering until he stroked my belly. His breath was a bit heavier and his heart beat faster and faster. I was no stranger to this. Caleb, Kyle and I fooled around together frequently, but never did the deed. I was boned up, five and a half inches stiff as a rock (yeah, I'm well endowed and I'm proud), his was hardening slowly. At a point, he stopped lowering his hand, and stopped rubbing alltogether for several moments. "I'm gonna make you feel good." He whispered lightly, his hot breath on my ear. I nodded. My body started shaking in anticipation and pure horniness. I felt his body twitch as well, and his cock fully harden, still wet and now leaking more wetness. His hand grazed my hardness and softly fondled my balls. My chest tightened in anticipation. He wrapped his fingers around it and my legs stiffened, my breath got ragged and uncontrollable. His lips pressed against the back of my neck. He knew exactly what to do, how tight to grip me and how to gently pull my foreskin down and gently rub a finger along the tip. I felt his cock press against me, and push gently. Oh, I wanted it so bad. Kyle was the type that didn't really ask. He could tell what people wanted and if he was going too far. He knew I wanted it. For a moment, his hand left me and he reached for something behind him. He shuffled for a second. I heard a light tear behind my head and then he reached down his body, pulling his cock away from my ass. There was another small rip and a slick squishy sound was heard. Then his fingers touched my hole, rubbing a warm, slick substance along it, and then pushing two fingers gently until they slipped inside. It hurt at first and I tensed. "Relax." He whispered in an assuring tone. "Like you're in a hot tub." I nodded, taking a few deep breaths in and forcing my body to loosen. The moment I did, the pain stopped and he continued pushing his fingers in. It still hurt a bit the further he went and it felt strange and familiar. Flashes of Paul made me a bit sick. I didn't like it. My cock had gone limp. It was probably instinct, but I was way to scared to tell him to stop. Then, A tingle swept through my body surging my dick back to life as he rubbed. I just remember thinking 'holy shit, that's new' and Paul was the last thing on my mind. Involuntarily, my body tensed, squeezing his fingers and my breath became even quicker like I was running a race. My cock was leaking like a stream. And then slowly, he pulled out. My breath remained shallow and my eyes a bit wide at the sensation that still swept through my body even though his fingers were out. This was what I thought it would be. The good side of being fucked. Hands all over my body, gentleness and an atmosphere that made mine and Jack's come back to mind, I needed Caleb to make me feel good and forget everything like Jack and I needed each other for the same reason. His arm wrapped around my shoulder and his fingers touched my lips gently. "Taste." He encouraged. They smelled of green apple and boy ass. I didn't even hesitate. Opening my mouth, his fingers rested on my tongue. The green apple flavor of that edible lube (thank god Kyle planned ahead) was mixed with my own taste and something about licking those fingers that had just been inside me turned me on even more. His cockhead covered by the cold latex of a condom pressed firmly against my hole. He reached down again and gripped his six and a half incher firmly. "Push like you're gonna shit." I nodded robotically and did as instructed. The pressure on my hole came to feel amazing because I knew what was coming next. His cockhead popped in and a surge of familiar, burning pain throbbed inside. I tensed and winced at the pain. He paused and gently rubbed my chest. "Remember, relax." He had no idea how much his voice and his hand made me relax. He reached up and grabbed another object from the bag and the thick smell of weed hit my nose. He gave me the pipe and flicked the lighter. This would relax me like no other. I took a deep inhale and held it for several seconds and then blew it out onto the blanket, wafting over it like fog. We were still for a few minutes as he rubbed my chest. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" "I'm not beautiful." I protested between breaths. "I'm a boy, boys are handsome." "You're perfect, how's that?" I nodded, hazy from the sexual charge that was coming back. "Have you and Caleb..." He asked. I shook my head. "I hope he doesn't get mad." Kyle said. "Don't tell him." I responded. Kyle nodded. The thc hit my body like a wall in the next moment. Any pain was suddenly gone and I melted into his body and the blanket. He felt me relax and continued his push. I didn't resist at all and I felt little to no pain. My body was like soup. It just felt so amazing. That feeling of being filled by a cock. By a boy. By the sexiest boy in the world. He pulled out and I lightly groaned in protest. He flipped me on my back gently and pulled my legs up, positioning himself right at my hole. "Ready?" I nodded instantly. He rammed in and my back arched with a wave of pleasure. "Fuck, you're so perfect." He whispered jaggedly. I felt him rub my stomach lightly and looked down. I had dripped a small squirt of precum into it from the pressure inside of me. He tasted it. Then he lowered himself onto me and gently pushed his lips into mine. His tongue invaded my mouth and wrestled with mine. I found it strange that that was our first kiss... I'd sucked his cock, swallowed his cum and he'd done the same for me. I one time sucked his cum off of Caleb's cock. But never kissed him. His kiss becoming more urgent, in turn making me hornier and just as urgent. My arms wrapped around his back and fingertips squeezed his skin. His hips began to move, pulling out and pushing his cock back in slowly. Methodically. I was pushing my breath into his mouth each time his cock slid back in. His lips began exploring my neck and my chest before coming back to my mouth and licking my tongue. And then he bit my lower lip gently, pulling just a bit. That was something I'd never experienced. Caleb was gentle with me all the time. Kyle was more rugged. More experienced. He knew how hot a bit of pain could be. His bite got a bit harder. It made me so hot that I pushed myself into him as he thrusted back in. He sped up, releasing my lip and moving his mouth down my chin to my neck. Then he bit my skin, pulling just a bit. That was the first time I'd ever lost control of my own voice and whimpered with pleasured lust. I could tell that spurred him on. He pulled out of me and told me to turn over. I layed down on my stomach and his dick was in me the next second. He pushed deep and I groaned. I pulled my knees up and he followed. He pumped me at a steady pace. "You like it?" He asked in a lust filled voice. I absolutely loved it and nodded. "Ya..." "How hard do you want it?" His voice was never that angered lust, he was asking genuine questions to know the answer. "Harder." I breathed. He complied and sped up. "Harder..." His hips slapped against my ass and my insides felt as good as my cock did, I never knew a pleasure like this existed. "Harder." Finally, he hit the speed and force that made me lose control of my voice and my body, shaking so violently at the lust and hormones shooting through me. I didn't even feel the buildup, I just blasted off into the most intense orgasm in my entire eleven and a half years. I soaked his blanket and my pillow, contracting almost painfully. He had to wrap me up and pull me into his arms to keep me from collapsing and smacking my head. His lips on my neck and his arms squeezing me just added to the whole thing. I was seeing white in my vision, my head was spinning and my body just kept on going to expel sperm that wasn't there. Slowly, my body relaxed and my contracting turned into a light twitch. I shook like I was in a car on a dirt road and my awareness came back to me over time. "You're the most perfect boy in the world." He repeated. I didn't reply, my dick was still hard and I was still lost in horniness, despite the orgasm that nearly gave me a heart attack. His lips sucked on my neck. "I could fuck you all night." He whispered with lust flowing from his words. "Did you... cum?" I asked through rough breaths. "No, I almost did, but you were about to fall." He answered. "We can keep going if you want." I was surprised. Though, everything happening then was compared to the worst experience of my life which somehow I thought would be amazing if I wasn't forced into it. My view on sex was fucked, just like my psychiatrist said it would be. I wanted to keep going, but the slight pain in my hole couldn't take much more roughness. "If we go slower." I replied. "That won't do it." He chuckled lightly. "I'll tell you what, I'll make you cum one more time and then I'll stroke myself or something." "I'll suck it." I replied. "Okay." "I don't think I can cum again so soon." I breathed. "Yes you can." He said confidently. He reached over me and swiped some of my cum off of the blanket. "In fact, I'll make you cum with one stroke of your cock." "No you can't." Nobody could do that. I wasn't the longest lasting in the world, but generally, I could go for half an hour jerking myself off before I passed the point of no return. Jack spent some time with his hand down there and his mouth around my dick, we both did. Caleb would suck me forever if I didn't want to cum yet. "Bet." He said mischievously. "Fine. Bet what?" "Hm..." He voiced. "Got it. If I win, you have to fuck Chelsea." That was a strange condition. Chelsea was thirteen and once Kyle's girlfriend turned Kyle's fuck buddy turned Caleb's fuck buddy. She's who was sucking Caleb's dick at the party. "Why her?" I asked curiously. "She wants all three of us to fuck her one after another." Kyle answered. "Why me?" I asked curiously. "I'm just eleven..." "I told you why. Because you're fucking perfect." He kissed the back of my head. "Seeing you naked makes her wet, you know." That was news to me. "She wants to jump on you when she sees you hard." "When has she seen me hard?" "Few weeks ago you and Caleb passed out in the bathtub." Kyle began. "She saw you sleeping with a boner. And then a few days later, she saw you blowing me on the couch after wrestling practice. She said she watched you cum." I didn't know if I was turned on or creeped out. But, I guess it didn't really matter. I spent enough time without clothes up here and at their house parties that she'd eventually see me hard. But she wanted us all to fuck her? "So like... all three of us at once?" I asked. Kyle nodded. "You and Caleb ever done that?" "Dude, I've fucked Chelsea while Caleb was cumming all over her face." "Oh fuck..." I shuddered. "That's hot." "Do you like girls? Or just boys?" Kyle asked, still holding me against his chest, still deep inside of me. I had honestly never thought about it. "Never been with a girl." "You want to?" He asked. "Long as you and Caleb are there." "Dope." He smirked. "You can watch me fuck Caleb while he fucks her." That visual was very hot in my head. "So if I win, you fuck Chelsea." I nodded. "If I win, you tell you who fucked you." That had been a secret since.. well, since it happened! Nobody, not even Caleb knew who that was. It was a conspiracy, if anyone knew who that person was, it could blow up in everyone's face, that's what he said, anyways. That, and Caleb never, ever let anybody fuck him except for mystery boy. "You're serious?" I nodded. "Okay.... yeah, okay fine." He nodded. "I know you won't tell." Fuck. Now I had to last more than one stroke. "Okay. Let's do this." Kyle smirked again. His hands began roaming my body, and I was easily able to keep myself from getting way too horny. But then he started pinching them. That turned me on... He pushed his groin into my ass, and pushed that spot even harder. Oh, fuck him. This had to be cheating! He reached down and pinched my foreskin, pulling it from my cockhead. Then he bit my neck and started pumping his cock into me. I tried so... so hard not to feel this, thinking about anything other than this situation to stay grounded. I was losing my cool. My control all but died when he pushed me down to my hands and grabbed a fistful of my hair, tugging at it and thrusting hard into me. There went my vocal control. He reached around me and grabbed my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and grabbed the top of my cockhead tightly, pulling his cock out and biting my neck. This was it. He pinched and bit, his hand squeezed and massaged my cock, sliding slowly down. His cock pushed into me so slow, I could feel each inch. I groaned so loud, everyone at the bonfire across the lake probably heard me. It tingled, it felt so, so good what he was doing to my body. This feeling in my cock, on my nipple, inside me... The trick was not to clench. If I did, it was all over. His teeth left my neck and hand left my chest. He pulled my hair and cocked my head sideways, pressing his lips against mine, biting my lip again. I never knew how much I'd love that. Then he reached his hand down between my legs and cupped my balls. That was the moment I knew I'd won. All I had to do was play the part now. I moaned and squinted my eyes, breathing out "fuck..." Every few seconds. I acted like him squeezing my balls was my cryptonite. His hand made it to the base of my cock and vegans the journey back up. He continued as I groaned a drawn out moan that spurred him on. He was getting more turned on than me as I squirmed in his arms. I could tell he was getting a little worried, his grin started tightening more firmly and he even rubbed his finger around the tip of my dick. I won't lie, that actually nearly set me over the edge. But he made it to the top, even going a bit further and twisting his fist on the head of my dick. I smiled victoriously. "I was kicked in the nuts as a kid. It hurts when people touch them." I explained in a smug, hoarse voice. "You sneaky little shit." He lightly smacked my shoulder. He let go of my balls and simply squeezed my dick. I pumped a few droplets of cum over his knuckles as my body spasmed. It wasn't as powerful as before, but it was still way more than usual. I chuckled again at my victory, and he slowly pulled his cock out of my ass. "Cocky, cocky." He rolled his eyes as I turned over and layed down on my back, staring up at him and his hard dick. He pulled off the condom and tossed it to the side. "Fuck." He shook his head, grinning at the irony in his defeat. He layed down next to me with his arms behind his back. I crawled over him, straddling his chest with my ass facing his face and grabbed hold of his dick. "So who is it?" I sucked the dick into my mouth. He breathed out a sigh when I swallowed his cock. "Fuck... Ugh I can't believe I lost." He shook his head. "Alright, the only person you can talk to about it with is him, got it?" I nodded. "When I first moved to our school, he was in most my classes but one and we hated each other. Your brother picked fights with me on purpose until he admitted it was because he liked me and was scared." I choked on his dick and pulled off. "What the fuck? Jack!?" Kyle nodded. "Yeah. I told you..." "Holy..." I shook my head. "Wow, I can't believe he didn't tell me!" "Uh... to be fair, he didn't know how you'd react and then you started hanging out with us and doing stuff-" "He knows about that?!" Kyle nodded. "Yes, Luca, he knows. I tell him everything." "Oh my god." I rolled my eyes. "You motherfucker!" I smacked his arm. Kyle snickered. "C'mon, you can't tell me you didn't know he was-" "No, I knew." I cut in. "I just... wow, I never though he'd be okay with it." I mumbled more to myself. "He hates it when people touch him." "Yeah, I know." Kyle smiled sadly. "He told me what happened to him." My brow furrowed. "You mean..." "His uncle." I was actually happy. He trusted someone enough to tell them. "I'm glad." "Wait, why?" Kyle asked suspiciously. "Cause he never talks about it. Not even with our psychiatrist." I answered. "He only used to with me. You know that means he trusts you like he trusts me, right?" Kyle nodded seriously. "I know. After what's happened to him, even if I hated him, I'd never tell a soul." I smiled slightly. I wondered if Jack was trying to spare me the embarrassment of telling anyone so he didn't tell the whole truth. "Us." "Huh?" "What happened to us." I repeated. Kyle sat up on his elbows and stared at me through wide eyes. "Wha? Luca! What the fuck! Why didn't you tell me before we... shit." He sat up. "Fuck I'm a rapist." "Oh god, Kyle." I rolled my eyes. "You think I'd just let someone do that to me if I didn't want it?" He looked at me warily. "I... I didn't even ask." "If I didn't want you to do it, i'dve told your dumb ass to stop. Come on, have I ever let someone hurt me without fucking them up?" "Well... no..." "Plus, you know my brother pretty well, and I'm a lot like him." I added. Jack didn't put up with jack shit (pun intended.) He'd go Ryan on someone's ass and shoot them if he ever felt threatened like that again. Me? I would go Slim Shady on someone's ass and take a fuckin' chainsaw to them if I ever felt threatened. He sighed. "Luca... I'm sorry. I just... I mean... Jack told me everything... how bad it was, I mean." "Yeah, it was fuckin' awful." I agreed. "But we were kids and we couldn't defend ourselves. Jack would destroy you without any effort." Kyle huffed and nodded. "So would you." "Exact- wait, me?" "I don't fight." Kyle laughed. "You pick fights with inanimate objects and somehow win." I rolled my eyes. "I've seen you knock down a fuckin' sophomore and punch the dudes face till someone pulled you off." Kyle reminded with an astounded smirk. "I can't even yell at Josh!" Josh was Chelsea's little brother. "Yeah... so I would've beat you up and stuff." "Alright, Luca. You made your point." I smirked victoriously. "You actually liked it though?" "Kyle, I nearly collapsed." I deadpanned. "How? I mean... I know Jack would hate it. How can you stand it?" I shrugged. "I was always kinda excited when Jack..." I closed my mouth. That was too much information for sure. I knew it was weird for brothers to find each other sexually attractive. "I dunno." Kyle dropped the subject. "Sorry. Hey, promise me you'll tell me if you're uncomfortable... with any of this." I smiled. "You'd be the second person I told." He chuckled. "Yeah, Jack would be more effective." I moved up and kissed him again. "How does Jack kiss?" I asked curiously. "Like a madman." Kyle answered. "It's weird, when he's horny, it's this crazy awesome... horny kiss." I hadn't experienced that yet and Kyle saw the confusion in my face. "Okay, so like... he grabs your face and then like takes control, you know?" I kind of understood that. "It's so weird to picture anybody taking control of you." Kyle was always in control in any situation involving our group. Especially sex. "Normally, I fucking hate it." Kyle admitted. "But Jack's like... like a puppy chasing shit around. He's not thinking about about anything but what's in front of him and he gives it his everything. When he takes control, he's telling me that he loves me." Kyle smiled fondly. "It's weird to explain." "No, I get it. It makes sense. Our psychiatrist told us that it was normal when PTSD victims don't show love often but when they do, it's like an uncontrollable overload." "Exactly." Kyle nodded. "And he knows how to fuck better than me." He added with a laugh. I laughed along with him. "He had a good teacher." I smiled before realizing the mistake. "No, no! Not him!" "I was gonna say..." "No, that one girl Jamie he hangs out with." I informed. "She literally coached him on sex." I laughed. "What the fuck? Why?" "You've seen the size of Jack's dick, right?" "Ahh." Kyle nodded. "She was being selfish." "Bingo." I winked. "By the way, how do you take that? He's what, 7 inches?" "Hah! I wish. He's almost 8." "Jesus." I muttered with a smile and a huff. "You both are pretty big." Kyle replied. I smiled smugly. "Fuck yeah. I'm almost as big as you." "Yeah. Thanks for reminding me." He snickered. "You bigger than Caleb?" I shook my head. "No, I can't catch up with him." "Fuck. You're all gonna be bigger than me." I grabbed his cock which had gone limp and then back up to at least a semi. Hard, he was around six and a half, which was still above average and he was only fourteen. "I still like your cock." I said, lowering my mouth over it. It hardened rather quickly. He sighed and layed back down. "Wanna hear something funny?" I nodded best I could. "Your brother loves sucking dick more than you." I pulled off for a second. "Yeah, I know." "Really? How?" I gave him a few more bobs. "We used to mess around. He sucked me till I had to push him off." I went back down. "Fuck... I would love to see that." Kyle all but moaned. "The hottest boy and the perfect boy sucking each other's dicks." Just with the way he was talking, I could tell he was picturing it. He started to shake a bit and put his hands on my hair. "Fuck... Luca, I'm cumming." And he erupted. So much that I had to pull off and take it in the face. I was drenched. He breathed and sighed as he came down from that high. I turned and wiped the cum off my face, smearing all over his. He chuckled and licked my fingers. I layed down on his chest. "Did Caleb know you were seeing him?" Kyle shook his head. "I didn't tell anyone." "Damn. That's crazy." "You know what's crazy?" He asked. "I got both of you sucking my cock!" He jokingly teased. He grabbed me and swept me into his arms as I laughed and squirmed. He walked toward the lake and tossed me in. "Clean yourself up, you've got cum all over you." He smirked. I flipped him off and he jumped in with me. The memory of that night in specific was ingrained in my mind so sharply that I'll never forget it. He was so straight forward and confident, he just went for it and I loved that about him. The rest of that weekend was great. I spent it all with Caleb and told him all about what happened. He just laughed and smacked me for not inviting him. I told him I wanted him to do it, and he was still hesitant for some reason. I know he didn't know what happened. But... Caleb fucked me for the first time two days later. We were driving back into town, Kyle in the drivers seat and Chelsea in the passengers. I was exhausted so I sat against Caleb in the back seat while he held me. He didn't have his shirt on, I think he lost it in the forest, just swim trunks. I always, always loved the feel of Caleb's skin over his perfect, boy-teen muscles and the smell of his body. Thing about Caleb was that everything he did had the lingering warmth and electric feel of love. He would kiss the top of my head in a way that sent shivers through my body and then a warm feeling across my skin. I just always wanted to melt into him and never, ever leave. It was early morning when we left and while we were still in a rural area, we smoked copious amounts of weed. The sunrise beside us, the contented quiet of those in the car and the smooth music playing loudly through the speakers just couldn't have been perfect enough in it's ironically imperfect grace. I was the one that got horny, pushing myself off of Caleb and pulling the waistband of his trunks away from his stomach. Glass Animals was playing loudly through the speakers, and I'm nearly a hundred percent sure that band was responsible for making me so fucking horny and in turn responsible for my first fuck with Caleb. Weed made music manifest physically through me. Caleb didn't protest or even say anything, he just closed his eyes and enjoyed himself when my mouth engulfed his dick. Caleb was cut, and surprisingly, he was a bit bigger than Kyle. Little over six and a half inches of thirteen year old boy cock. He kept quiet, not really wanting anybody to join in this time. I loved sucking his cock. He couldn't control himself like Kyle could so depending on just how horny he was, he could bust at any second or hold himself for a while. His precum still tasted sweet as it was the year prior when I started sucking his cock. It was always sweet, getting saltier as he got into his later teens, but always regaining a sweetness that was probably just in my head. I loved sucking down to his soft pubes and taking in the scent of his natural smell mixed with his axe shower gel. This time, it smelled of natural minerals and very earthy, mingled with his scent. After a short while, I had pulled down my underwear and removed the big shirt Kyle had let me wear. We were completely nude in Kyle's back seat. Not the first time that happened. I straddled him and posted up on my knees, back arching just a bit to push my diamond hard cock further up. Caleb hunched over and swallowed it. I shuddered. He loved rubbing his hands on my body and feeling my developing muscles and my ribs with both hands, bringing one down once and a while to pull my foreskin down tight and suction the head. I pulled back. I didn't wanna cum yet. He gave me a questioning look when I sat down on his thighs, his cock poking my balls. I leaned in. "Will you... put it in me?" "I don't wanna hurt you." He whispered back. "You won't." He was scared and excited. I was scared too. This wasn't like sex with Kyle, this was something far more. I pulled back and sucked on his cock for a few seconds, making it nice and wet and then straddled him again, putting his head against my hole. He breathed hot breath on my ear. "Are you sure?" I nodded. My face was flushed, I wanted this so bad. No lube, just my spit and his precum. His head popped in and I hissed, leaning against him. "Luca... I don't want it to hurt..." I ignored him and lowered myself. It burned. It felt like sandpaper was up there, but he was also beginning to push against my prostate. That pain and pleasure mixture was something exquisite. Caleb was inside of me. Our eyes had locked and the look on his face was just every emotion surging through him at at the speed of light. The wonder in his eyes was almost as if he didn't believe what was happening. I almost didn't either. Just the look was worth it. I bottomed out on him. My mouth was near his ear, and his near mine. His breathing was just as sporadic as mine was. "You feel so good." I shakily whispered. For some reason, I shook almost violently when I was incredibly horny, like my adrenaline glans pumped too much for my body. This proved to be a turn on for him because it was an indicator that I was at the horniness's mercy, which more often than not, he was the source of. I kissed him with every ounce of emotion I had. Pain, pleasure, love, desire, lust. He whimpered silently and grabbed onto my thighs, his body contracted in an orgasm that only a teenage boy having sex for the first time could produce. That's right, my ass was the first his virgin cock ever slid into. Our lips were just barely touching and his breath heaved across my mouth as I felt him contract about twelve times. Half way through, my dick spewed my clear cum all over his chest and stomach. Both orgasms were silent with the exception of heavy breathing. We sat there for a few moments and he noticed the scenery around us changed. "We're in the city." He whispered lightly. I sighed in disappointment. I pulled myself off of him and layed to his side. It was raining pretty heavily so I decided to stay brave. I grabbed his cum covered cock and sucked it clean. He sighed and flinched a when I licked his sensitive head. I went up his body and cleaned my cum off of his stomach and chest. We pulled back on our clothes. I giggled lightly and whispered in his ear. "It's leaking out." He chuckled silently. "It feels so weird." He leaned over to respond. "How did it it feel?" "It hurt, a lot... but it also felt so good. I liked the pain." I answered in his ear. "I might like it rough." I teased. "That a challenge?" My hand snaked in his shorts and squeezed. "If you think you can last." "Woah, shots fired." He softly chuckled. "We both lasted like twenty seconds." He giggled. "Hopeless." "Best twenty seconds of my life." I whispered. We locked eyes and smiled. We were both like giddy schoolgirls. "Thundercunt left two days ago. Will you stay with me for the week." "That's a stupid question. I was gonna kidnap you and spend it with you anyway. Now if she is home, I'm gonna kidnap you and fuck you anyway, mr. I like it rough." "You better, I don't get kidnapped for a gentle fuck." He quickly leaned in and kissed my lips with a quick peck. "I love you, kid." We just couldn't wait to be alone together and finally let loose the tension that built between us by just whispering back and forth to distract ourselves from how bad I wanted him to fuck me and how bad he wanted to fuck me. I could see it in his eye, a primal lust I'd never seen glazing over them. I was too excited. The music was loud enough to block out any noises we may have made and the sunrise was blinding enough that Kyle didn't look back and Chelsea had passed out at some point. That thirty seconds of sex was the best experience of my life as of that moment. Kyle was great, but Caleb wasn't. He was flawed and human and I connected with him on the deepest level because of it. His eyes never left mine the entire time, we experienced every emotion together in a very explosive way. And when Kyle dropped me at home, Caleb followed after seeing my moms car was gone. He fucked me against my front door the moment I closed it. That spontaneity and the need to have each other right then and there never went away. That spark never died and we never calmed down. Maybe that was the issue, I don't know.