This is a work of erotic fantasy, so there’s quite a lot of sex. However, there isn’t sex happening in every chapter. There are many passages that include setup, character development, and all that boring stuff which makes the sex that much more meaningful when it finally happens. I know not everyone cares about backstory or getting to know the characters, so each chapter which does have sex in it also has a heart following its title:

The sex is not intended to be pornographic or paraphilic. It’s just the kind of stuff that happens between people, though sometimes in somewhat unusual situations. This includes threesomes and groups, intimacy taking place among people under the age of eighteen (with no one over eighteen present), same-sex partners, and scenes involving brother-sister incest. If you live in the kind of world where you believe those sorts of things never happen, or should never happen, you’re both (1) welcome to stop reading now; and (2) not even remotely in touch with reality in any way at all.

There is cover art for Book 2! It’s non-nude. If you’d like to see it, it’s here on

Finally, Nifty has been providing some primo material for years now, and can always use a helping hand. Websites aren’t free to operate or maintain, and no one’s getting paid to do any of this. Donate what you can, as you’re able!


— Harmony Brücke, fricfic at gmail.

Kaeleigh Goes All the Way

Book 2: 2024 • Part I: Pretty Good Privates

7. Marta the Minister

Luke was deep asleep when Kaeleigh woke up. He’d had a very busy night to follow the end of his working day; there had been, in the end, multiple hours of dessert for everyone.

Kaeleigh had never made love with a woman Marta’s age. The oldest woman she’d been with before her was a player in the over-eighteen group back in Cliveston, and she’d been twenty-nine. Marta actually looked a little younger than she had, and her sexual intensity reminded Kaeleigh, more than anyone else, of Nette. There was a deep well of passion in Marta that, once tapped, seemed to be an endless flow that spoke of a tightly-controlled, well-directed current. Sixty-nining with her, nuzzling her shaved pussy, tasting her tart juices, she’d sensed the tigress, coiled and ready to pounce. Later, riding her face while Luke watched and built up another load, she’d sensed it again, a ferocious animal passion barely kept on leash. And after Luke fucked Marta again, while Kaeleigh was enjoying her cream pie, she’d finally let it loose.

Between endless hours of sex, yoga, and Zumba, Kaeleigh was in superb physical condition. She had excellent tone and stamina, and her slim body had retained much of its early-teen muscular sculpting. She could have sex with multiple partners for more than two hours at a time, and did, every Friday. She’d never been fucked so hard that she couldn’t take any more (Luke got her close, but he knew what he was doing, and never turned it into torment), and had never been bucked off of a pussy she was eating, no matter how hard the girl came.

It had been nearly impossible to stay with Marta.

She’d begun with slow pelvic rocking, her body shivering, her juices rising. Kaeleigh knew what it was and stayed there, thrilled as she felt the woman’s intensity pick up, delighted at hearing her voice rise and rise. The rocking became thrusting, and Marta had grabbed her head to pull her in farther. Kaeleigh kept it going, teasing her up, her lips and tongue busy, her finger inside and tickling her just right. As Marta’s passion rose, Kaeleigh’s focus rose too, and it was then that she began to wonder just how much farther she could go, how hard she really could come. She’d always loved a challenge, so she met it, with the magic touch.

Marta’s spasms had become more intense, and she’d lifted her hips off the bed, thrusting and driving hard on Kaeleigh’s face. Still, she stayed with her, keeping it going, keeping it building, as the frenzy picked up even more speed and heat. It had ended with Kaeleigh clinging to her, Marta’s thighs locked around her head, driving the girl back and forth. Only the balls of Marta’s feet and her shoulders were on the bed; the rest of her was lifted so high off the mattress that Luke could’ve crawled underneath her, and a flood of hot cum was gushing over Kaeleigh’s tongue, and her pussy was moving so fast it was almost vibrating. Her concluding screams had caused the dog thee houses over to bark.

Kaeleigh had eased her down, eased down with her, and they’d stared at each other for several long, stunned moments, both of them in perfect understanding of what had just passed between them. Kaeleigh had never made anyone come that hard in her life. And Marta had never cummed like that before.

Luke had stared at them both, his mouth hanging open. He was awestruck. He actually looked a little scared. “You … you okay, Marta?” he said.

Marta’s head fell back onto the pillows. “If you hadn’t married this girl,” she said, “I would.”

Kaeleigh giggled and kissed her pussy, licked her delicately until all her cum was gone, and then got the hell fucked out of her by Luke.

It hadn’t all been about that sort of intensity. There were some moments like that, of course; there always were with Luke. He’d been truthful with Lana earlier when he said he liked it hard sometimes, and knew when the girl wanted it that way too. But he also liked a slow, adoring worship, something that took half an hour or more, something that let the girl be completely aware of her body, and how good it was to have a body, and how good it was to be with a boy who adored her and knew just where to kiss, to touch, to lick, to tickle and tease and play. She and Marta both got plenty of that with him; and she and Marta shared it with each other, as well.

It was an excellent dessert.

Now, the clock told her it was Monday morning, and had been for a little over an hour. She heard rattlings coming from the kitchen/dining and looked around to see Marta wasn’t in bed. Luke was on his back in the middle, dead to the world; they’d fallen asleep cuddled up on either side of him.

She got up and went down the hall to see Marta rooting around in the fridge. She was still naked — they all were — and Kaeleigh took a moment to admire her gorgeous, well-shaped ass and the swell of her vulva between her thighs, her long sculpted legs, her trim waist, her sweetly-sloped shoulders. Marta turned from the fridge and saw her, her breasts still high, full and beautiful, the aureolae broad, the nipples perky. Below her slightly rippling belly, her mound swelled and gave to a slit that wasn’t as deep as Kaeleigh’s, but from which her inner labia were always slightly distended in a ruddy, baroque pucker. “Hi,” she said. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Huh-uh, I don’t think so,” Kaeleigh said, settling on one of the bar stools at the countertop island that served as their dining table. “I woke up and wondered where you went, is all, and heard you out here then.”

“Heh. I woke up bloody damn thirsty,” Marta said, closing the fridge with a pitcher of tea in her hand. “Somehow I ended up using a lot of fluids. Funny how that can happen sometimes, with the right people.” She went to the cabinet over the sink and got out a glass. “Want some?”

“Sure, thanks,” Kaeleigh said, watching Marta take down a second glass and pour for them both. She knows where everything is. She’s slept here before. It didn’t bother her. She liked the idea of Luke and Marta spending the night together here, making love, falling asleep still embraced, enjoying each other in all the best ways. It was a lot better than imagining Luke sleeping alone, with no one next to him to love him. “I’m really glad you came by tonight.”

Marta smiled and sat beside her. “So am I. Thank you for the invitation, the dinner, and the superior dessert. Easily the best I ever had, with a woman.”

“Me too,” Kaeleigh said, sipping. “And I’m glad you and Luke are friends, too. I think he needs a woman to keep him in line. I’m glad you could do that while I wasn’t there for him.”

“Oh, it wasn’t anything regular. We’re not lovers. I’ve stayed with him a few times over the years, is all. Once every couple months, I get an itch, and he knows just how to scratch it.”

“Either way,” Kaeleigh shrugged, “I’m glad he met you.”

Marta sipped her tea and set her glass down. “I’m glad you’re going to be working for us. You have some sexy and good ideas for scenes. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind whatsoever that the rest of the talent will be crazy for you. Any scene you felt like doing with anyone, boy or girl, you’re not going to have trouble finding a costar. And there’s no doubt at all that you’re going to do some absolutely stunning scenes. You’re not shy at all, you’re breathtaking when you’re naked, and indescribable when you’re making love. Especially when you come.”

“Right back at you,” Kaeleigh said. They giggled and tapped glasses.

“The trouble is, I don’t think I’ll be able to put you in any scenes with Luke.”

“Huh? Why not?”

Marta took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m going to speak in my capacity, now, as a member of the clergy, which means what I’m about to discuss is privileged and confidential, just like it would be if I were your attorney.

“It wouldn’t be illegal, as such, to record or distribute the two of you together, but it would constitute evidence that you and Luke were engaged in a crime, and … we’d, I mean Pretty Good Privates, we’d be indemnified against prosecution, since you’re both legally adults, and that’s all our attorneys would have to say we knew.

“But you and he wouldn’t have any protection. And if someone wanted to hurt the two of you somehow, or thought they were doing it for your own good, someone who knew the full backstory of your relationship … there’d be no force on Earth that could defend you against it short of fleeing the country, and I really don’t want to see that happen to either of you. And even if no one ever decided to report your relationship with him … well … what are the chances that someone you know from back home, someone in Cliveston, might see you in a scene with him, and know exactly what they were looking at?”

Kaeleigh swallowed on a suddenly very dry throat. “What…”

Marta slipped her arm around her shoulders. “I adore you, and I adore Luke. You’re both wonderful people, you’re attractive, you’re outstanding lovers, and you make a simply gorgeous couple. You have a deep rapport, you finish each other’s thoughts, you’re in perfect harmony in bed. You know each other intimately on every level. It’s easy to think, seeing how you are together, that you’re a perfect match. It’s almost as though you’ve known each other all your lives.

“That’s what virtually everyone will ever think when they see you together. Few, if any, will ever realize that you actually have known each other all your lives, and those who do will imagine it’s just because you were the girl next door, that you grew up in the same neighborhood with Luke, sharing the same childhood and friends. Your cover story is perfect. Anyone will see the rings and make the most obvious assumption, and it’ll explain everything, including that rapport, the endless banter, and why you have the same last name.

“I adore you, Kaeleigh, and I adore Luke, and there is no judgment here. I’ve never had any problems with these sorts of relationships, but a lot of the rest of the world doesn’t see it the way I do, and there is just no way I ever want to see either of you get hurt. So I can’t in good conscience allow you and him to compromise your safety by ever appearing together in a scene.”

Kaeleigh had leaned into Marta’s embrace and was crying now, silently and steadily, hot and painful tears coursing down her cheeks. She didn’t know if they came from shame, fear, remorse, or something else. “How … how did…”

“It’s not obvious. You didn’t slip up in any way that can’t be attributed to a long-term friendship that transformed into intimacy over the course of years, and became a life-bond between best friends destined to be everything to each other. You’re both fine at keeping the cover, calling each other babe and hon and sweetie, just like any other married couple. You have different facial bone structures, different hair and eye colors, and of course Luke’s physique is as toned as yours is, but in a marvelously distracting, masculine way. There’s no obvious similarity, except for a few moments at a time, and those moments only happen when you’re making love.

“At first I didn’t think much of it. I mostly thought that you’d known each other for so long, you were just mirroring each other. It happens a lot with couples who’ve been together for years, especially if they have an active sex life. They see each other’s O-faces every day, and they unconsciously mimic each other. You and Luke look almost identical when you come. The way you look into each other’s eyes then, the expressions on your faces … I can see your souls melding. I can see them dancing together. And I can see the family resemblance, too.”

“Oh God,” Kaeleigh sobbed. “We’re fucked, aren’t we? The f-first threesome we ever do, and you saw it right away…”

“No. No, it’s really not obvious. The only reason I noticed … there are two reasons. One is that I’m a producer of adult entertainment, which means I’m forever deconstructing sex. I watch people do it, I get into it myself, I make love too, and the whole time, there’s a part of me standing back and analyzing it for its content and erotic effect, deciding if it’s something to maybe put in a scene sometime. Like your hot little internal-cum trick, and thank you, again, for teaching me how to do it.”

“Did you know?” she said. “Did you know by then?”

“When you were teaching me how to do it with him, yeah, I did. The other reason I noticed is that I’ve known, personally, two other sibling couples over the years, and I’ve been in threesomes with them as well. And they make love in exactly the same way you and Luke do. There’s a special kind of playfulness, a light banter along with familiarity and profound affection, that I’ve simply never seen in any other couples but them, and in you.

“What I’m saying, Kaeleigh, is that before you were ever found out by anyone else, that person would have to see you having sex with him, be in a frame of mind that allowed them to rationally consider what they were watching instead of get horny and fap or join in, and have experience seeing other sibs make love together. You and Luke are safe, and your secret is safe with me.”

“You d-don’t … you don’t think we’re … p-perverts?”

“No. I don’t. I think you’re in love. I know you’re in love. And that’s the most important thing, isn’t it?” She folded her arms around Kaeleigh when the girl gasped, sobbing against her chest. “Okay. It’s okay, honey. I know how it can happen. I know how something can be … playing, or experimenting, or exploring, or … or maybe just some deep, visceral, primal need. I know how it can catch you by surprise when it starts, and I know how it can overwhelm you, how it can be the deepest, truest love you’ve ever known, how you can literally need it, or die if you don’t have it. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you, being without him in easy reach for two long, lonesome years.” Kaeleigh sobbed harder, shaking, clinging; Marta held her tighter and kissed her head. “But you made it, and you’re together now, you live together as man and wife, and as long as you both stay careful, that’s all you’ll ever be to anyone else.”

“Do you … do you have a … a b-b-brother?”

“I have two of them, older brothers, one a lifetime Marine and the other an artist in the Village. And when I was a certain age, I was horny and curious and eager, and there were times when I was tempted to … suggest something to one of them. I didn’t, and in our case that’s probably for the best, but I understand. Really I do. I listened to the stories my other friends told, and I listened to what they didn’t say as well. I have some idea how hard it must have been for the two of you to suggest things, to lay down hints, to feel out each other’s boundaries, to take your courage in hand and take that final step, and hope to God you weren’t making the biggest mistake of your life. And I suppose I can imagine how much of a relief it was to find enthusiasm together, instead of rejection or shame or loathing.”

“We hated each other,” she sobbed. “We drove each other crazy. And then we, we, we decided to try to g-get along, it was the game, All The Way, we were both in it but in d-different groups, you know, but we talked about how much we both loved it and we were having sex with the same people, some girl would be with him one week and I’d be with her the next, and we’d keep h-hearing from everyone about how good we were at sex, I kept hearing girls say they were crazy about Luke and he’d hear girls say the same about me, or boys talk about how great it was being with me, and I guess that … it sort of … it got us thinking in a, a, a certain way, and we were trying so hard to be good to each other and then … we … it happened, it happened and it kept happening and it was so intense, oh God I never had sex like that with anyone else, even when it was slow and sweet and tender it was always intense and it always has been, and I think, I think, I think if we hadn’t d-done it, we would’ve ended up hating each other again and never talking and he’d be here and I’d be somewhere else and I wouldn’t care what was happening in his life and he’d be the same way, and even thinking about that makes me feel like my heart’s being torn apart, and I can’t be without him, I can’t, I can’t, I’d die, you’re right, I’d die. I need him. I love him. I have to be with him. He drives me crazy. And I can’t live without him.”

“You don’t have to live without him, honey. He’s right down the hall. You live here now. You’re his wife, as far as I’m concerned, and as far as anyone else will ever know. I just can’t let you be in a scene with him, that’s all.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” She sighed and sat back, still in the circle of Marta’s arms, and wiped her swollen eyes. “You’re right. You’re right. I never thought … you’re right, if someone back home saw us in a scene, they’d know. Even if they never called the cops or anything, they’d know. I wasn’t thinking about that. I don’t think Luke thought of it either. I guess we’re both pretty damn lucky you figured it out in time.”

“It might have gone pretty badly otherwise, yeah. You still have friends back home, and family, and … hmm … Kaeleigh, what’ll you do when your family stops by to visit?”

“It’s just Mom. Our dad took off years ago. No one really knows where he went.”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry.”

She shrugged. “Can’t really miss what you never knew, but thanks. That was one of the things that used to drive me up the wall about Luke. There were times when it was like he was trying to be the dad, and he’s only three years older than me. I guess he thought he was looking out for me, but it felt like he was trying to boss me around. Anyway, yeah, no, what we’re gonna do about Mom is just go back there to visit her, so she doesn’t feel this sudden urge to show up here unannounced sometime and wonder why there’s only one bed.”

“I see. Not a bad plan. But won’t she start wondering in, say, ten years’ time, when you’re still living somewhere together, and there’s no boyfriend or girlfriend for each of you?”

“I … we talked about that. Luke and I. Maybe. She might wonder, and she might have … questions. But the thing is … he and I have both had relationships on the side since we … we’ve dated other people. It hasn’t changed us. Nothing’s ever going to change that. And we fought all the time when we were younger. Like, nonstop. And then we sort of started turning it around after I was playing ATW too, and we found … I guess common ground. And then we started making love.

“And I think Mom’s still just … so happy we’re getting along, she doesn’t think about anything else. It’s kinda like what you were saying. People who never met us before, they’ll see the rings, and just assume, and that’ll … close the question in their minds. Well, I think Mom’s looking at it from the other side. Most of the time you see sibs and you never think, I wonder how often they fuck. Well, Luke and I wonder that, but no one else really does. It’s just something most people never do, so it’s something most people never think about. And Mom … she’s kinda good at not seeing things she doesn’t want to see. It was pretty obvious after a while that I had a thing with Nette, and she’s three years older than me, and it started when I was thirteen. My high school girlfriend would come and get me in her car, and we’d spend the weekend together, and it was all just no big deal. It was a pretty long dance to get her cool about my boyfriend, and he was sixteen, too. But Mom either didn’t notice Nette, or something in her head told her not to ask too many questions, maybe, even after she figured it out. Mostly I think she just wants us to be happy, so as long as we are, she is too, and she doesn’t … you know … interrogate it.”

“It would be better, though, if you didn’t have to worry about it at all.”

“Yeah,” Kaeleigh sighed. “But … if it ever comes up … we’ll figure something out, I guess.”

“It isn’t fair,” Marta said, and brushed her hair back from her brow. She kissed her forehead. “It’s not fair, and I know it. You should be able to be free. You should be able to be in love, with no one to judge you. Hell, even gay and trans people are finding growing acceptance, but you? Two beautiful, happy, loving people who bring endless delight to each other and everyone else you meet, you’re not allowed to have the same kind of freedom? It’s just not fair. If I could change the world, honey, I would.”

Kaeleigh’s eyes welled and she allowed Marta to draw her close again, and she wept, she wept in mourning because it wasn’t fair, but she wept in relief as well, relief and gratitude to this good, strong woman, who knew her most guarded secret and didn’t find her unworthy, didn’t find her wanting, but instead extended compassion and acceptance.

Marta held her for as long as she needed it, feeling her heart ache for Kaeleigh and Luke. She did have some insight into how hard it must be for them, and did wish she could change it. She couldn’t, but she could offer comfort, and she knew it was what Kaeleigh needed most right now. Gradually her sobs tapered, gradually the tumult of emotions settled, and still she held her, went on stroking her hair. “It goes without saying, of course, that you and Luke are still welcome to work for us. Your status with me as professionals hasn’t changed in the slightest, any more than my affection and respect for you has.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course, honey.”

“But … won’t everyone think it’s weird if we don’t do scenes together? I mean, we’re supposed to be married.”

“I’ll add a leaf to your cover story. All anyone needs to know is that you believe, as a couple, that the things you do together are precious, to be known only among yourselves and chosen friends, not to be recorded and shared with the masturbating millions.” Kaeleigh giggled. “It’s not unheard of in the industry. There are other couples, committed or husband-wife pairs, that don’t do scenes together, for the same reason. I knew a girl, back when I was doing scenes myself, who was perfectly happy with bareback double penetration, but wouldn’t blow anyone except her boyfriend. I knew another girl who saved having her pussy eaten for her husband alone. She’d take any four dicks in a scene, but she only took his tongue. Lots of sex workers, and this includes porn talent, keep something back as special for the special people in their lives.”

“So … no one would think it was weird if…”


“Okay. Okay, yeah. Yeah, we can go with that.” She kissed Marta’s cheek. “Thank you. I really don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“You’re welcome,” Marta said.

“I still think it’s so cool that you did porn too. Maybe … maybe that’s why you don’t freak out about … me and Luke.”

“It might have expanded my outlook, yeah. After multiple years of doing all kinds of scenes … you tend to be pretty mellow about what people do. It’s just saturated every aspect of my life. It’s how I decided on the name for my company.”


“Yeah. I was fucking a guy in a scene one time and he told me my pussy was pretty good. Pretty good. Well, after I strangled him with his own intestines, I thought about it, and figured maybe I could run with that. So I did an LLC with the name Pretty Good Privates, got an HD camera and a copy of Final Cut, and shot a scene, handheld, POV, of my pretty good pussy being eaten by an absolutely beautiful girl. Slapped it online at a pay-per-share site, and we got some money for it, most of it from men who went gaga. Enough money to pay for some talent next time around, so we had a couple boys to fuck us too. The rest is history, or her-story, or some story.”

“You didn’t … back when you were doing scenes for other people, it wasn’t on … um … squishy mattresses, was it?”

“Sometimes, yes.”


“It wasn’t great. But it made me mad, and it made me decide to do something about it.”

“How old were you?”

“Nineteen. Within a year, I knew I really had something. And now here we are. With some damn fine talent, handsome girls and beautiful boys that treat each other well, and a studio that’s helping change the face of porn. Mostly by not letting anyone cum on it.”

“Except the girls. Girlcum on my face is great.”

“Oh, well, yes, the girls, of course. And here I am now with you, and Luke, and I hope we’ll not only be good friends, but the best of them, lifetime friends.”

“I think we will. I think … I think I love you, Marta. Not … you know, not…”

“I know what you mean, honey, and I love you too. It’s okay for good, close friends to say they love each other. Sometimes, it’s necessary to say it, and to hear it. I love you, and I love your husband, too.”

“My husband,” she sighed. “I know it’s really all just a, a cover, and what he really is to me is different, maybe better, maybe worse, but when he bought us the rings and started wearing his, I was just totally looking forward to when I could wear mine too, after I left Cliveston. And when he put it on my finger last week, it was like … like my whole life was working up to that moment, and … I knew, then, that I really did want him for my husband.”

“Last week, huh?”

“Yeah. Well, three days. I moved in Thursday, and that’s when he gave me my ring, and then we watched the fireworks.”

“Independence Day. That seems symbolic.”

Kaeleigh giggled. “We sure made a lot of our own fireworks.”

“I imagine. And it occurs to me now that this should be your honeymoon with him.”

“We don’t have a regular relationship. We never did, even before we were fucking. So I guess it’s no big deal. Besides, we got to spend some time with … with someone we both love, and there’s just no way that’s bad.” She nestled herself against her again. “We’re gonna be okay. Aren’t we?”

“I think you are,” Marta said. “It took some pretty special circumstances for me to figure anything out, and there are few to no other people who will be in those circumstances with you, in quite the same way.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay, thanks.”

“You know,” Marta said. “I have a little cottage in the Caribbean. It stands by itself on about a quarter mile of private beach, it has the kinds of ocean views you’d expect from such a place, and I hardly ever go there. It’s more of a place for my mental health, a place I know I can go any time I need to, which prevents me actually ever needing to.”

“Is that the one in the picture on your desk?”

“The very same. How would you and your husband like to spend a couple weeks there, just the two of you, celebrating your nuptials in style?”

“Oh … Marta … I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask. I offered.”

“But you’ve already done so much for us. For Luke, giving him a job he loves and paying him a hell of a lot to do it, and for me, and not just the job, either. Everything.”

“Luke does damn fine work, and not just on camera. He’s earned his pay. And you’ve done something for me, too, letting me share him with you, without any reservations … and oh my God, the cum you gave me earlier. So consider it a wedding gift. What do you say?”

Kaeleigh thought about it, studying Marta. God, the kindness of her, the decency. She could’ve been like any other porn producer, paying her stars next to nothing, raking in a fortune, spoiling herself with goodies and baubles … but instead, she kept what was needed to have the studio, and sure, she took care of herself. But she also took care of her people, really good care. And she’d just learned something about Kaeleigh and Luke — okay, she’d figured it out on her own — that a lot of people would never have been able to accept, but instead of crapping her pants and firing them both, she’d listened, she’d cared, she’d given her friendship and love and reassurance, and now here she was trying to help them feel like a real married couple, with a honeymoon of their own. She was a friend, an honest and decent and good friend, and part of being someone’s friend was wanting to do something nice for them. And part of being a friend was letting it happen.

“Well,” Kaeleigh said. “I think what I say is…” She smiled. “Yo ho, yo ho, it’s a pirate’s life for me.”

“Can’t guarantee Johnny Depp will be there. Sorry.”

“Oh, well, you can’t have everything.” She stood, and Marta stood with her, taking her hand. They padded back down the hall, but Luke was still out of it, still deep asleep; he hadn’t moved since Kaeleigh left him. They stood in the bedroom doorway, both of them admiring the well-sculpted form of his naked body, his handsome face relaxed in slumber, his penis lying soft along a hip. “God,” she breathed. “After a while I couldn’t stay away. I just couldn’t.”

Marta nodded. “He’s a vision, honey.”

Kaeleigh looked at her. “Want to go up on the roof for a while again? I don’t … I’m not ready for sleep just yet, and…”


It’s never easy to quietly deploy folding stairs, even under ideal conditions. Springs creak, hinges squeak, mechanisms make sounds such as clunk, thud, and poinnnggg. In the deepest divot of night, when individual whispers can seem to carry through an entire house, folding stairs sound like a trainload of pianos crashing over the side of a cliff. Kaeleigh and Marta both winced more than once, but Luke didn’t stir at all. It reminded Kaeleigh of how stealthily she’d left his bedroom, sometimes, late at night and dreading every creak or shift in the floor, even knowing Mom’s room was quite literally at the other end of the house. Not wanting to leave him, knowing she had to, looking forward to the day when she could spend the whole night by his side and wake to his love without fear of discovery.

She still had that, she still had that. Marta hadn’t taken it away from her.

The irony was that once they were down, the stairs didn’t creak at all as they climbed.

They settled onto the deck, nestling close, holding one another. The night had cooled but wasn’t cold, and the whole world turned softly in its bed of stars, clear and bright as the pretty little lights Luke had put up in their bedroom for her. The moon was lower, settling toward the university’s buildings, most of which were darkened now. Downtown was mostly illuminated by streetlights and the periodic color change of traffic signals. A soft susurration of breeze wafted among the leaves in the trees closer to, but apart from that, there was nothing, no meaningful sound to break the stillness. They might have been the only two conscious minds in the universe.

“It wasn’t his body,” Kaeleigh said after a while. “He’s got a great body. He has for years. But that wasn’t what made me do it with him.”

“It was for me, at first, but I imagine there was more to it than that, for you.”

“You have brothers. You must know what I mean. When they’re young, they’re gross and they smell bad, they fart and burp and flick boogers at you. They show off the earwax on their Q-tips. They stick their feet in your face and go take a deep breath of fresh toe-cheese. You can’t be in the same room with them after broccoli for dinner, and they laugh. They just laugh while your brain is melting out of your ears from the smell.”

“Boys can be … quite organic,” Marta agreed.

“And it doesn’t stop. By the time he was thirteen, Luke had fucked a couple of girls. He wasn’t in the game yet, and I guess they’re extra spermy at that age, cause he used to jack off in the shower in the morning, in the bathroom after he got home from school, and even into his socks. He’d leave them by the bed when he was done. And you couldn’t tell by looking which one was a … used one.”

“Oh honey,” Marta chuckled. “I remember those minefields all too well.”

“It was so disgusting. The socks he’d worn all day, they just reeked from his feet, and there he is sticking his dick in them at night and whacking off. And I’d be thinking, damn, if the girls knew where he stuck that thing, they’d never let him stick it in them.” She sighed. “But they did.”

“I suppose they found him attractive enough in other ways to overlook his deficiencies. That can happen.”

“I know it can. We wouldn’t have eight billion people on the planet right now if it didn’t. I guess he was … cute, I guess. He used to do up his hair bedhead. And there were times when he was with his friends and laughing or smiling, and … I could sorta see it then, see how some girls might think he was cute. He grew taller pretty fast, so he was skinny for a while, but even then, you could tell he was in good shape. He rode his bike everywhere, he climbed trees, he ran around yelling like a Mongol horde of one, and when he got to middle school, he got into track and weights. He was … he was never scrawny. Always just slim, but even then, when he was thirteen, he had good tone.

“And I was ten and starting, just starting, to put it together about sex. My first period was when I was eleven, but I didn’t start getting tits till I was twelve. But I think the hormones were already starting to happen because … because I started noticing … he had a butt. I knew that. I knew it because he still liked to stick it in my face sometimes and threaten to gas-bomb me. Sometimes it was more than a threat. And when he went to the pool, I noticed he had … something happening up front, too. From what I read, when a boy starts developing, his balls get bigger first. Then his penis grows. And it explained what was happening in his shorts, but it didn’t explain why I looked at it sometimes and got these … these hot little waves running through my skin. And it was Luke. Luke! God, my horrible gross farty smelly sock-fucking brother.

“I guess … maybe I blamed it on him. He couldn’t help it. He was thirteen. He was starting to grow up. And I was starting to notice, and I couldn’t help it either, but I … I resented him for it. For growing up and being a pain in the ass and being … organic, yeah … and for being … a little cute. And a little sexy.

“And he got older, and he started filling out. And it was like he was waving it under my nose all the time. By then we … really kind of hated each other. He’d be … cautious around me all the time, treating me like a bomb that might blow up in his face, and he was right to, because sometimes I did. And knowing he was right to treat me like a, a rabid walrus only made me hate him more. Everything was his fault, you know? And then he was in the game, but I didn’t know it then. All I knew was that girls were texting him all the time, all of a sudden. All the time. He was fucking them, and I knew it, I’d hear them sometimes in his room after school, and there were Nordo wrappers in the trash can by his bed. At least he remembered to flush those, instead of leaving them on the floor with his socks.

“The cramps didn’t help, when my periods started. It felt like I was being kicked in the belly for five days solid. And Luke, that … that fucker, that god damned bastard, do you know what he did?”

“No,” Marta whispered.

“He … when the cramps were extra bad, he’d bring a heating pad into my room and press it over my belly, and hold my hand and let me squeeze as hard as I could, I left fingernail marks in his skin, and he just … he, he took it. I know it hurt him, but he just took it. And he … that fucker. I hated him. I hated him, and he knew it. And he was helping me when no one else did.” She swallowed and wiped her eyes. “Do you see what I mean?”

Marta, who’d known Luke as an employee and part-time lover for two years by then, saw it all quite well. “Yeah, I do, honey. I know the kind of man he is. I think I know what kind of brother he was.”

“He still is. He was always like that. He didn’t trust me, he knew better than that after a while, but he loved me. And I knew it, deep down, and it made me kick harder against him. Because … because I loved him too, and he was growing up, and … it was never about his body, but his body, even then, it was … it was a pretty damn good one. And I didn’t want Luke, my smelly gross farting brother, to know that … that he … that I thought he was sexy. My brother, my own fucking brother, and I thought he was sexy, and I knew he would love me even if he didn’t trust me, and I kept … just closing off to him, pushing him back, maybe because I knew I could. Maybe I knew he’d never really give up.”

“Do you think, even then, he was having … feelings of his own?”

“Not when, not when I was a little girl. But by the time I was twelve, I was getting tits. And there were times when I caught him looking. But he was fifteen and banging every girl he knew, so I guess I figured … you know, boys, that age. He never, he never made a move or anything, though. I mean he didn’t try sneaking into my room at night or peeking on me or anything. And by then I had an Enfem, and it was … God, it made all the difference. The cramps were just gone, and my periods even stopped, and I felt almost like a human being again, only it was worse in a way then. Because, you know, I was stable inside. No PMS. No bleeding. No getting kicked in the belly for five days. No screaming while Luke held my hand and pressed down with the heating pad. And hormones anyway, so I was getting horny too, horny for boys, and for girls, and I didn’t have the cramps to distract me any more. I started having to face it. I liked boys and I liked girls, and Luke was a boy and he lived with me, and he was … cute, yeah, he was. Not like … now, he’s more manly, you know, not just his body, but around his jaw especially. But even then he looked like … I saw some old teen-lust magazine pics one time of Leonardo DiCaprio, when he was Luke’s age. He looked a little like that, only with brown hair and eyes. And a better chest.”

“Good God,” Marta murmured. “I used to have a crush on Leo DiCaprio.”

“He was pretty fuckin’ all right. He still is, too.”

“Yeah. He is.”

Kaeleigh sighed. “So … I started having to face it. Luke was cute. Girls were lining up, and I didn’t know why then. I figured it was because he was doing things for them that they really liked. A lot. I know, now, that he was, but it wasn’t the way I figured back then. Back then I figured they all sat around at lunch or something, you know, like this group of high school girls just talking about what their different boyfriends liked to do with them, and word … kinda got around that Luke was better at it than the others, so that was why. I mean, I was in seventh grade. I didn’t know what high school girls talked about. I figured it was like what me and my friends did, talking about who had the cutest butt or a deep voice. Only with more, uh, practical knowledge, instead of giggling. Like they were ladies at some society tea, sipping and comparing notes on penis size and tongue talent between bites of crumpet, or something. Oh, darling, this blueberry scone is simply delightful. Do you know, James has reached six inches? Pass the cream, dear, please. Speaking of which, we simply must talk about Ryan. Only instead of thousand-dollar dresses, they’re in cutoffs and halters, or cheerleader outfits.”

Marta laughed. “I love that image. It’s completely surreal.”

“Pretty much the opposite of life, I know, but like I said, I was in seventh grade. I thought … well, I hoped … girls would get a little more mature when they were in high school. And that boys would, too. Because everyone in seventh grade — and I mean all the boys — they were all just like my brother had been. Farts and burps and boogers and spitwads the size of golf balls. And I was supposed to like them. To go out with them.” She shuddered. “But not Luke. He’d grown out of it by then.”

“Many of them do, after a while. Not all, but enough.”

“Yeah, thank God. And by then I was into porn, especially group-sex porn. I’d find a video and watch and masturbate and come my brains out to it. And I wanted to do those things. I wanted to be in an orgy, I wanted to eat pussy, give head, be fucked. I got so horny sometimes, and none of the boys or girls I knew would’ve … I mean, I guess I know now that they had to be … looking at something online too, even if it was just being curious, and probably some of them were into the same kind of stuff, but you don’t talk about that in the seventh-grade cafeteria over a lunch tray full of bland lukewarm pizza and mushy lukewarm peaches, you know? How do you even start talking about that? Between sips of milk?

“We were kids, all of us. Maybe I was just grown-up enough by then to know it, to know we were all still kids and I was still a kid too, and not knowing what to say or how to say it — and especially not who to talk to — it really … just … drove me nuts. The girls hardly ever talked about doing it without giggling and going eeee. The boys were getting into armpit fart contests, or real farts. And the only thing I figured, the only way out I could see, would be for me to date a high-schooler, someone older and more mature. But I was twelve, I barely had tits, and who the hell with a car and a part-time job is gonna date someone who’s still halfway to being a little girl? Apart from some creep in a van or something, I mean. It was … God, it was just fucking awful, wanting to go farther, wanting to go all the way, wanting to go anywhere at all, but being trapped in twelveland. I just wanted to grow up. I wanted to not be a kid any more. And I didn’t have the words, I didn’t have the … the life experience, to … to express that. All I had was frustration.

“So then I … Luke was going to some kind of game every Friday. I knew that. Mom and I both did. He never really said much about what kind of game it was. Mom wasn’t too worried because he never came home smelling like weed or booze, his grades were no worse than usual, he had a part-time job, he was even able to buy a car of his own, all on his own. He wasn’t, you know, getting into any trouble. He was using Nordos pretty regularly, and Mom knew it, because she was buying them for him. I didn’t really want to know the details, you know, because eww, brother-sock-dick. But I figured his Friday games were really just … him making it with some girl or other. I used to call it the Girl of the Week Club. And one Friday, Mom was working late, so I basically trapped Luke into bringing me along.”

“As an observer?”

“Huh-uh. As a pest. But the others let me watch, basically treating me as an observer. Well, Luke ended up getting sick, he ate something he shouldn’t have, so I took over his turn for him. And after the game I had group sex for the first time, with three boys and four girls. High school boys and girls, and they were all experienced players, they’d been in the game at least a couple years by then. They were so sweet, and so friendly and good and just … decent, you know, kind. Not perverts, not maniacs. Just regular kids like me, kids who liked group sex. Like me. They treated me like an equal, even though they knew I was a virgin, and in eighth grade, and that night I made love for the first time, and I ended up making love with all of them. It was the very best night of my life, until I … until Luke. The first boy I was with was nothing like him at all, and none of the girls were either, of course. He ended up being my boyfriend, kind of, for the rest of the time he lived in Cliveston. One of the girls was with me too, we had a three-way friendship with benefits for two years. Then they went to college, but we still keep in touch.

“And I started playing every week, and you know how it is. Every week I had sex with four new boys and three new girls, until I knew a lot of players. And they kept telling me about how great Luke was. And at home, Luke and I … we had something we could talk about. I could talk about group sex, finally, and how much I loved it, with someone who totally understood and got it, he got everything. I could talk about how great it was to eat pussy with someone who knew what I meant. How great it was to go from one girl to the next and sample everyone’s flavors like a, a buffet line. How good cum was to feel and taste and swallow. How great it was to be having sex, and watching everyone around me have sex, and know they were watching me too. He understood all of that. He even gave other boys head sometimes, so we could even talk about that. It was like … total rapport, and I’d never had that with anyone before in my life. Least of all Luke.

“And the more I thought about it, the more I saw that rapport was there all the time, only I kept pushing it away because … because of everything that went before. All those years of me fighting with him made it a reflex, you know? I just didn’t know any other way to relate to him except by being a bitch. And it was so very strange to realize I didn’t have to be a bitch to relate to him. I could talk to him as an equal, because … he was. He was all but grown up. And I’d finally grown up too.

“And I stopped thinking about sex the way you’re supposed to think about it. Because I was doing seven people every Friday, I started thinking about sex as just … no big deal, something you just do. No flowers or dating or romance, no I love you, no will you marry me. No ticket required prior to entry. Just … bodies, being together and alive and beautiful. I’d see a boy or girl and know I’d have sex with them, without having to think about it, if they just asked, and God knows there were lots of times I did. I guess Luke was seeing it the same way too. I think every player does, after a while.”

“I know I have, for years,” Marta said. “Not long after I started playing, I was seeing it that way myself. I began to think social restrictions on sex were not just arbitrary, but might actually be damaging. Harmful. Like putting a tourniquet on a healthy limb.”

“Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That’s just right, that’s exactly what it is. So anyway, that spring break, we went to Disney World, and Luke and I shared a room that week. And that’s when it happened, when it all came together. Things were going really well. We were really starting to get along, but it was still awkward for me, because I kept wanting to jab at him, pick on him, like I always did, and I kept feeling like I had to hold it in. And I was afraid that … I mean, a whole week sharing a room … I was afraid I’d just go nuts, like explode on him like I used to, and I really didn’t want that to happen. We’d built up so much between us in the last few months, it had all been just so good. I didn’t want to ruin it.

“And we were there in our room and got to talking about sex, because we were both horny kids and that’s just what you talk about sometimes, and we … there were hints, I dropped some hints, and he did too, and … well, I made a move on him, and he … responded. He went down on me, and then he, he fucked me. I told him to fuck me, and he did.

“And it was like … it was like the difference between a firecracker, and a hydrogen bomb. Oh God, Marta, we fucked each other so hard that night, over and over and over again, we just couldn’t stop. We kept going even after we could barely move any more, when it actually hurt, but we just couldn’t stop. And we fell asleep, and he was still inside me. We fell asleep making love. And when I woke up in the morning, the first thing he did was make love to me. But it was different, it wasn’t so hard or so … so urgent. It was slow and beautiful and perfect, as perfect as the night before had been, but slow instead of urgent.

“But the urgency was still there, and I knew then. I knew how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I wanted to keep playing, but I wanted to be with Luke. And I knew I could do both.

“And I knew what the word was for it. I knew what we were doing, what it was called. And what people thought about it. I knew we were breaking the law and the biggest taboo in the world. I knew if we ever got caught, we were … we’d both be in jail, maybe, and therapy for sure, like there was something wrong with us, like we were mentally damaged somehow, or a couple of freaks … and we’d never be alone together again. We’d only be allowed to see each other under supervision, with a chaperone. After everything we did to break down every wall between us, after everything we did to make our love perfect, people would step in and force us apart and build walls all around us, we’d never really be free, and … it’s always been that way, knowing that could happen. It’s been so fucking scary sometimes. I’d lie awake at night in my bed after I left him or he left me, and I’d feel his cum inside me and think about how much I loved him, and I’d just shake and cry with … with dread, with total dread, about what it would mean, what would happen to us, if anyone ever found out. I didn’t care about being punished. I cared about dying inside if I lost him.

“And I knew what they’d probably do to him, because he’s older than me, and they’d probably decide he was raping me, because God forbid a girl would ever ask a boy to have sex with her, especially an older brother. No, it’s always the boy, isn’t it? That’s what everyone thinks. It’s the boy who starts it. It’s the boy who … who makes her do it.

“So he’d get it worse, whatever came down on us, he’d get it worse. No matter what I said. They wouldn’t hurt him physically, I knew that, but they’d tear his soul apart. They’d go after him and rip into him and crush his heart and do everything they could to destroy him, make him feel guilty, make him feel like he raped me, make him really believe he was a terrible person, they’d do that to him, beat him down and beat him down, until one day the light just wouldn’t be there in him any more. They wouldn’t see how beautiful he is. They wouldn’t care how sweet and fragile he is. They wouldn’t care about our love. They’d just smash everything to pieces and leave him with nothing but dust. And I just … I wouldn’t be able to take that, and I was so afraid sometimes.

“But when I was with him, when it was him and me and there was nothing between us at all, just our breaths and our heartbeats and our bodies moving, him inside me and our love the only thing in the world … oh, Marta. Oh my God. It was like time just stopped, sometimes, so we could spend a few minutes being together forever.

“And the best part was … after we started having sex, I didn’t have to hold anything back any more with him. I could see he was sexy, and it was all right. I could see how handsome he was, and it was all right. I could want to have his cock, I could have his cock, and it was all right. And I could … I could poke at him again, I could jab at him, only it wasn’t to hurt him any more. It was just … he calls it sparring. And that’s what it was. Play, just play, words that really could be taken bad, could turn into fights and screaming and tears, but that didn’t happen any more, because every time I jabbed, he dodged and jabbed back. And I dodged, and returned it. We went back and forth, but all it was, was playing.

“So I still had my old way to relate to him. I could still poke at him like I always did. But every time, from then on, every time I called him a dork or a goober or an asstard, he knew what I was really saying underneath. He knew I was really saying, I know I can trust you, and I love you, and I always will. And later on that night, in my room or his, I showed him how I really felt.

“Sex with him really isn’t about his body. It’s a perfect body, oh my God he has the best body I’ve ever seen, and the most beautiful cock, and … yeah, of course it’s physical. But it’s not about that, it’s not about his body. His body and my body … they’re just how I show it to him, show him how good it is to know and love him and to have him in my life. The sex changed the way we were with each other. It always does with anyone you have sex with. You always end up closer to them. With him, it made me able to love him as my brother, because I could also love him as a man. It saved us, I think.

“That’s what it’s about, for me, with him. And that’s why I can’t ever stop being with him.”

They were quiet for a while.

“Thank you for sharing that,” Marta murmured. “It was beautiful, and full of beautiful truths. Even the painful ones. I understand what you’re saying about him, because he is gorgeous, he is sexy, and he’s a wonderful man and a wonderful lover, and I feel incredibly fortunate to know him. As fortunate as I do to know you.

“Sometimes … there are people who believe in the idea of a soulmate, that there’s one person out there who is a perfect match for someone else. And sometimes, maybe that soulmate has the same gender, or is years older or younger. And maybe sometimes it’s a sibling. But when those soulmates are together, when they find each other and fuse, they each become far greater together than they were individually. I see how you are with Luke, honey, and I believe that if there is such a thing as a soulmate, he’s yours, and you’re his. It would be better if there were a way for everything to be safer for the two of you. But you work with what you have, I suppose, and what you have with him is precious beyond any possible measure.”

Kaeleigh nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it is. I just … I know him, perfectly, on every level, and he knows me the same way. Maybe it’s because we grew up together, or we have half the same genes, or our pheromones smell enough alike, but I … I think it’s more than that. We want to know each other that way. In every way. And we do, and … it’s not like any other relationship or friendship or fuck-buddy thing I’ve ever had. It’s just … beautiful, on every level, and when I’m with him, I feel like I can relax totally, I can be at peace, I’ll never be misunderstood, I never have to be on guard. And I know he feels the same way. I know it because I see it in his eyes every minute we’re together. And I know he sees it in my eyes, too.

“We’re not really married, and we never can be. But what we have … it’s deeper than marriage. Deeper than our hearts or our souls. And it’ll always be that way, and every time I think of that, how we’ll always have each other, no matter what, that’s when I’m happiest. No matter what anyone else thinks.”

“And you deserve that happiness, honey. Social customs be damned. You don’t need my permission, or anyone’s permission. But I do want you to know that you do not have any judgment, not from me. Even knowing what I did earlier, when I saw you making love with him and I knew he was your brother, all I saw was the truth of what you are together. And all I felt was joy and gratitude that I could see the two of you in your most intimate moments, two angels dancing together in eternity.”

“That’s … exactly what it feels like.”

Marta kissed Kaeleigh’s brow. “That’s what it is.”

The silence spun out for a while, warm and easy, a silence between friends who were comfortable in it.

“I’ve never been able to talk to anyone about any of this.”

“I know.”

“Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for not judging me. Thank you for … for validating me.”

“Thank you for trusting me, Kaeleigh.”

“Thank you for being my friend.”

“It will always be my honor to be your friend.”

They fell quiet again and held one another, two bodies close, warm in the night, sharing time and breath, heartbeat and affection, comfort and peace.

“I love you, Marta.”

“I know. I love you too.”

She kissed her. “Lie back a while, okay?” She kissed her again. “Dance with me.”

Marta smiled and stroked her face, and eased back and looked up at the heavens, and fell into them gently, easily, radiantly, guided there by the perfect soul that shared the night with her, the only other conscious mind in the universe.