Date: Thu, 10 May 2018 11:39:07 -0500 From: MC VT Subject: The Battoir Chapter 12 The Battoir - Part 12 ©2017 MCVT August 17, 2017 mcvt2017@gmail.com *** Before I went back to the university that fall, I was in the shed with Dad. It had been years, since he'd given me any love. Years. I took a chance. Throwing the bolt on the door of the shed behind us, I tried grabbing a few moments alone with him, maybe a kiss. Tall as him now, tanned and lean, even smelling like him, I wrapped my arms around him and turned his face to mine. He dropped his shovel and embraced me and kissed me deeply. The sweat on his lips tasted salty, but sweet, sweet to my heart. In that moment I needed him more than ever - and he almost felt like a stranger in my arms. "I miss you and I love you so much, Dad." All the longing through the empty years stopped my words; I couldn't express myself. We kissed for a long time, holding each other close and pressing our bodies together. But, I couldn't help myself. I began crying, "Daddy, I need you." He held me harder against him. "Son, I broke my own heart - don't think I betrayed you. You deserved more... As much as I love you, I didn't have enough - never will." He sobbed. "Your love was enough. I didn't ask for anything else." I whispered through the sobs. He began crying. "Is he gentle with you?" He asked. "Always." I whispered. "But not like you." I held him as closely as I could. "He doesn't bite like you do - you know..." Dad chuckled. "Never understood you liking that." He kissed me back. "I'll try - it's difficult right now." My tears wouldn't stop. "You know..." He held me and kissed me until I calmed and told me we'd make the milk run together that night. "Every day, everyday I miss you - I miss you so much it hurts." He wiped his nose on the tail of his shirt and went back to work, tears falling. *** Dad and I went on the evening milk run and stopped by the woods on the way back, walking into the dark pines as the moon rose through the stars. Now I understood a lot more - I'd been a bartering chip, of sorts, for a lot of things. Then I'd done much better than I ever expected in my life. So had Dad, Mom, Rod and Junie. So had Mr. Reggy - I'd brought him attention and some minor celebrity in the goat world such as that smelly little universe is. Some would say my life was inconsequential - farm boy to vet; no big deal. But to me, I was the shining, chosen child growing into a solid, strong man with respect and a future rich with the things I loved. This chosen child had paid a painful price I kept hidden. Tenderness. Sensuality. Then, the power in a drug-induced sunrise between two men... Wasn't sure if that was the plan or my path or some kind of crazy cosmic luck, but whatever happened, and whatever was to come, I'd always be Dad's... Whatever happened in my life with other people - he was mine. He was the only one I really loved with all my heart. *** The way Dad felt when I held him was different now. In those moments, I understood bittersweet feelings deeply. The muscles in my body - the very muscles that he gave me were rubbing and pressing back against him with incredible longing; a slightly different kind of longing. We held equal passion now, though our kisses and touches were as gentle and loving as I remembered from my childhood. Now, some kind of undulation - like an unheard masculine vibration hummed between and around us. He needed my strength as much as I needed his reassurance or maybe it was the reverse. *** That night we walked under the pines to a clearing with a small pond and a stream. Unbuttoning his shirt he asked me to take him. Through his tears, and his kisses, he asked me to return a man's love. "I wanted to keep you close, and that didn't happen. I've missed you - never had the chance to feel you inside me, returning our love..." Fumbling and tearful, I remembered how well he made deep love with me - I wanted to give him all of myself exactly that way. "Dad, you made my first time the best..." I told him. Naked, our moist skin touched - cool in the evening air, but brought back the familiar, warm times we shared. We held each other in a hard embrace for a long time. I needed that; it took some of the sting from my tears. God - his skin and his smell were still heaven to me. Not holding back, I pressed my face into his neck, and along his torso. There was not enough of me to hold him and press his skin against me. His hands went over my body, and then his lips followed. He didn't bite my scrotum, but gently touched, rubbing my ass and kissed me, like he was worshipping me; my groin his altar. As he looked up at me, I sighed, "I'll always be yours." Slipping my hands through his hair, I noticed a few silver strands and imagined them as the trails of the shooting stars above us foretelling my own silver strands. Adoration. I adored Dad. "Kiss me." I couldn't get enough kisses. My tears kept falling as we kissed. "Fledgling." I thought. Taking my father, giving him a man's love would complete the circle - this part of my life would be over... "Oh, god. No." I thought. I couldn't lose this - Dad's love anchored my soul inside me. He turned slowly in my arms, and I opened his cleft as he leaned against the rough plates of bark on a pine tree. His musk and the exhale of the pine forest filled my lungs making me heady. While I kissed his back and rubbed along his cleft; I became hesitant. But I couldn't stop myself - my hands rubbed along his hipbones, and his taut waist. Beautiful body - my body. Pulling his cheeks apart, I buried my face in the warmth of his cleft and breathed deeply. All male. Dad smelled strong, and ready. I felt his hands go to his erection as I began kissing and licking his ass as my tears fell. He moaned, and I think I heard him sob several times. I slowly penetrated my dad and felt his warmth envelop my erection. He stopped me and threw our jeans on the ground. "Let's lay down, I need to see your face." While I waited, trying to stay calm, I told him how much I loved him. I thanked him for all the love he'd given me... Laying his body on mine, we kissed and our leaking erections coated the skin between us. "Don't let go - touch me." He kept saying as he raised himself to his knees under my arms, and brought his ass to my glans. I watched his face and kept my hands on his waist then slid them to his testicles and along his erection, caressing each inch of him. That's where I came from... After a few moments, he leaned to kiss me as he pushed me further inside him. He tensed his ass around me as he kissed. "Oh, god." I never imagined my father's body kissing my lips and my erection at the same time. My heart was beating through my brain when he did that. He moaned and flinched, but I held his waist while he moved his hips, pressing me into the different places inside him. Each movement was new and hot and almost overwhelmed me. He tightened himself around me several times and sighed deeply. I trembled, but my hips tensed and I pushed upward into him. He pushed back against me and I heard him crying - I could feel his sobs jerking through his body and around my erection. "Don't cry. I love you, I want you. I miss you so much - this is our celebration. We couldn't be more blessed." I choked through my arousal. That was a half-lie. We both knew this would be our last time together. Too much change had happened between and around us. My hips were pumping fast, and I kept my hands on his hips, holding him hard against me. He met every stroke with his thrusts toward me, almost crying out - moaning and begging me to press into him deeper and harder. Then, I heard him building to release. My hand went to his erection. "Cum with me Dad." "Oh, god," He whispered. "I missed you." For those ecstatic moments of release, we were one man - sweating and breathing hard. Exchanging our most precious love and our bodies. As we soared through orgasm, crying with joy - it felt like we became one - we were all, we had it all between us. Cum and sweat sanctified the moment. He pulled away. "Another broken heart?" I whispered, smiling weakly. "You're good to me, son. No broken hearts, ever, when you fill me." He was smiling as my cum dripped out around his ass and onto my scrotum. In that moment, I realized that all the years I thought he was giving me his strength. It wasn't strength - he was the sure source of the best parts of me - my tenderness. Father and son, making love in the woods, streaming our tears of ecstasy for simply being together again - in that moment I understood what Mr. Reggy had been trying to tell me about the things we chose and couldn't choose in relationships. And what Dad and I couldn't choose remained secret; forever taboo and an ethereal, vast love. *** We sat on the tailgate of the truck and cooled off, "Dad, are we gay?" I asked very tentatively. He put his arm around me but didn't answer for a long time. "I've thought about that. Don't think I am - but I love you so deeply - our sex is an expression of my love. Maybe we are in some ways - doesn't matter." We watched Orion and Cassiopeia arc across the inky blackness of the night sky while I rubbed my hand along his back. "Son, since you left for college, I've been in a funk... I'm going down to Grubb's cabins to sleep now." Dad was crying again. "But I'm trying to straighten it all out... You concentrate on your studies, Dr. Doug." "Dad are you bisexual, or gay or what?" Relationships were still complex to me, seemed like the labels didn't really explain everything. "I don't love anyone else, the way I love you." He choked on the words. "I don't know what to call it... After a long time, he explained further. "It's like I got incredible gift. I have a fine wife and a family - beautiful children. Love each one very differently." His voice halted as he found the words. "And with you, it was so profound - shook my soul. You were so young and so accepting, like there was a place for my love inside you all along - and you grew into it so naturally... "You made me stop and think about my life when I was driving, and I'd wonder what you thought - what you were doing... Well, so many things. But who am I to question how love happens - or why? I'm no philosopher." He held my face in his hands. "I got more love than most people ever imagine. Hard to believe that this grimy old farmer could have so much..." Putting my head on his shoulder I asked him if I was gay. "I don't know." He answered. "Doesn't matter, does it?" We were quiet for a long time. "If you're gay, I don't think it's so important." He said. "You're my loving son. Do you think I made you homosexual?" "Don't know - Mr. Reggy said I didn't have to decide. He explained about being gay and we read about it on the net after he saw the video of us in the sauna over at Grubb's place." Dad was quiet for a while, "What video?" "The sauna, that night when we made love the first time... It was on the security camera." "Not good... We gotta get rid of that." Dad mumbled. "No." I held him in my arms, "That's all I had after I started working for Reggie. So beautiful, Dad - it kept me going - reminded me how much you loved me even when we couldn't be together." "Son, I really hate to have to give you up again. But it's time you found some gal and give me a grandson to love." "The way you love me?" "Maybe. We'll work on all that together." "No battoir, right?" "Never." Fin.